Speaker 1: Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about
Speaker 1: queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities.
Speaker 1: If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more
Speaker 1: offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer
Speaker 1: discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids.
Speaker 2: Put jo pussy up, put your put your pussy up,
Speaker 2: Put your pussy up, Put put your pussy up.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabelon Sadez and.
Speaker 3: I'm christotison Rosso. Each week we explore the sublime world
Speaker 3: of queer sex, cruising, and relationships.
Speaker 1: We talk to queer folks of all kinds. We'll ask
Speaker 1: some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations, and provide
Speaker 1: practical advice that you can use at home.
Speaker 2: Joy, Put Joe, pussy, put Joe, put put your put,
Speaker 2: put your put.
Speaker 3: Listeners.
Speaker 1: Today, we're going deep, elbow deep, right beyond the knuckle,
Speaker 1: So whip out the X lube and get the puppy pads.
Speaker 3: Ready because this episode is all about fisting. Game.
Speaker 1: That was a very loaded transition. I'm really excited to hear,
Speaker 1: what's your experience with fisting? Not much. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: that I've tried it. I have told I am an
Speaker 1: ideal size for fisting. Okay, people look at my height
Speaker 1: and they're like, would you fist me? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: ninety nine percent of the time, the answer is no,
Speaker 1: It personally does very little for me. I'm not that
Speaker 1: interested in it. I did you still Look up with
Speaker 1: this guy when I first moved to New York and
Speaker 1: he was like, Hey, I want to ask you something.
Speaker 1: He was like, super shy about it, but he wanted
Speaker 1: me to fist him, and I didn't know what that
Speaker 1: entailed at all. Yeah, So he sent me home with homework.
Speaker 1: He gave me a book on fisting, and he was like,
Speaker 1: read this and if you think you'd be interested in
Speaker 1: doing it to me, come back and we can do it.
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, And I read the book
Speaker 1: and I learned a lot of things that would have
Speaker 1: terrified me if I'd gone into fisting. So there's like
Speaker 1: a whole section in the book that talked about what
Speaker 1: happens once you go beyond the knuckle uh huh, that
Speaker 1: like the body just kind of sucks.
Speaker 3: The rest of your army.
Speaker 1: That is correct, and I'm like, that is exactly what happened,
Speaker 1: and it is very unsettling.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 1: It felt like something out of alien, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. It was like and it made a sound.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was wild.
Speaker 1: So again, I'm really glad that I read up before
Speaker 1: doing that. I think I did it more because I
Speaker 1: was into him, but it felt less for me. Okay,
Speaker 1: it felt very much for him. Wow, Okay, we are
Speaker 1: so different. Yeah, because your eyes are telling me that
Speaker 1: you have a story you did definitely like to share.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean I fisted someone for the first time
Speaker 3: when I was sixteen.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know how anal sex worked at sixteen.
Speaker 3: No, I entered like a craigsist ad and he like
Speaker 3: asked me if I would be into it, and I
Speaker 3: did not know what he was talking about, and he said,
Speaker 3: don't worry, I'll show you. And like I showed up
Speaker 3: and there was, you know, a man and a container
Speaker 3: of crisco where old school, old school. Yeah, and that
Speaker 3: sort of started me on my fist and journey and
Speaker 3: I've been doing it ever since. So was that a
Speaker 3: positive experience? I mean, you were clearly too.
Speaker 1: Young to be doing that, but like, was it a yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean yes, yes, well well yes yeah.
Speaker 3: But I I love it. I think it's one of
Speaker 3: the like most intimate acts you can engage with sexually.
Speaker 3: I truly enjoy it.
Speaker 1: Is this like the regular part of your sexual practice
Speaker 1: or is it like depending on the partner?
Speaker 3: I have no idea.
Speaker 1: Chris, you contain multitudes. I do multitude, But fair, you're
Speaker 1: the fister. I'm the fister, okay, top I see and
Speaker 1: I have massive hands.
Speaker 4: Yeah you do. I know.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm the beginning. I'm like the training
Speaker 1: dildo and you're the like literally not for the novice. Yeah.
Speaker 3: If you've listened to our show for the past two seasons,
Speaker 3: you've heard us deep dive on lots of kings and fetishes,
Speaker 3: from puppy play to chastity to wrestling.
Speaker 1: But fisting seems to be one of the biggest fetishes
Speaker 1: in the queer community, and as years go by, it
Speaker 1: just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
Speaker 3: With fisting videos all over Gagewitter, Fitzfluencer's pushing prolapsed dildos,
Speaker 3: and more and more young people getting into it. It's
Speaker 3: almost like we're approaching fisting's total crossover from kink to
Speaker 3: common practice.
Speaker 1: In this episode, we're going to talk to one of
Speaker 1: our favorite sex writers, the incredible Alex Cheves, who first
Speaker 1: gained a following as a sex writer dolling out advice
Speaker 1: for The Advocate. In twenty twenty one, he published his
Speaker 1: debut memoir, My Love Is a Beast Confessions, where he
Speaker 1: talks with a raw, poetic honesty about his sexual awakenings, fisting, kink,
Speaker 1: sex work, HIV, and so much more.
Speaker 3: Please welcome to Snippy's Cruising Confessions. Alex Chevez.
Speaker 1: Alex welcome, Thank you for being here, Thank you for
Speaker 1: having me, Thank you so much for calling in. For
Speaker 1: listeners who don't know, Alex is calling in from Berlin,
Speaker 1: the kinky sex capital of Europe.
Speaker 4: In the sex capital of the world.
Speaker 1: I would say, so this might not be the case
Speaker 1: in Germany, given that you are the kinky sex capital
Speaker 1: of the world. Correct, But I feel like I have seen,
Speaker 1: at least anecdotally, in the US a lot more people
Speaker 1: talking about fisting. Do you think fisting is having a
Speaker 1: moment right now?
Speaker 3: Is she the it girl?
Speaker 4: Fisting? Is the it girl? It?
Speaker 5: Fisters talk about fisting Twitter It is the phenomenon in
Speaker 5: the fisting world, and I think it's been the it
Speaker 5: girl for a little bit now. If anything, I feel
Speaker 5: like we're on our way out of fisting Twitter. But fisting,
Speaker 5: I think in a few years is going to be
Speaker 5: a whole generation of fisters who met each other through
Speaker 5: Twitter because for whatever reason, it was one of those
Speaker 5: lanes of sex content on Twitter that just really created
Speaker 5: a tight community. Were not that type, but I'm just exploded.
Speaker 5: It was one of those kinks that really took off
Speaker 5: in the era of social media.
Speaker 1: It is interesting that you mentioned Twitter because I feel
Speaker 1: like that site was one of the few social media
Speaker 1: sites that did not censor sexual content. And even on
Speaker 1: sites like OnlyFans, I believe things like fisting are still
Speaker 1: not allowed to be distributed or shown platforms.
Speaker 4: That's why I got kicked off of Only Fans way.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I put fisting videos on there and I didn't
Speaker 5: know the rules, and they like, sorry, you can't do this.
Speaker 1: Do they have customer service? Can you call it and
Speaker 1: be like, my fisting videos are taken down?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: So a lot goes into shaping what you're into. Are
Speaker 3: there any parts of your life that made you gravitating
Speaker 3: towards fisting.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not exciting. I found fisting the way a
Speaker 5: lot of people did my age is through porn. And crucially,
Speaker 5: for a long time, fisting lived in the avenue of
Speaker 5: things that I was never interested in actually doing. And
Speaker 5: I think a lot of people have those things, right,
Speaker 5: You have these kinks that you might watch, but are
Speaker 5: things that you're never really interested in actually living out.
Speaker 4: And for years, actually.
Speaker 5: Fisting was always this like, oh, look at this cool
Speaker 5: thing online, but I never wanted it to be part
Speaker 5: of my life. I never once took the steps of
Speaker 5: like training and finding a regular fisting playmate.
Speaker 4: It just kind of happened.
Speaker 5: And then once that happened, I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 5: now I'm into fisting, Like, now I'm real I do it.
Speaker 3: And what was it about that experience that made you
Speaker 3: jump headfirst into it?
Speaker 4: That first experience was.
Speaker 5: It fulsome It was with one of these amazing dumbs
Speaker 5: that just I never once said I was into fisting.
Speaker 5: I never once expressed interest. But after a nice long session,
Speaker 5: he just knew. He just knew when to put loub
Speaker 5: on his hand and slide it in, and it was
Speaker 5: amazing how he could just tell and he could read
Speaker 5: my body and it happened without any dialogue, any communication.
Speaker 5: Now to clarify, that's not what I tell other people
Speaker 5: to do, and that's not whatever to say, Like, that's
Speaker 5: like I would tell everybody to, you know, communicate, talk
Speaker 5: to somebody, train, carefully, use toys. Like I don't think
Speaker 5: that the way that I got into fisting is necessarily
Speaker 5: a way that I would prescribe other people to get
Speaker 5: into fisting.
Speaker 3: Just to put that out there, Yeah, I mean that
Speaker 3: seems kind of as a person who's like intofisting, like
Speaker 3: that feels I don't want to say crazy, but like
Speaker 3: I don't know, you're just sort of like it just
Speaker 3: sort of happened one day, you know. But I do understand,
Speaker 3: like as a fitting top, Like do understand being able
Speaker 3: to read someone's body and knowing when they're ready for it,
Speaker 3: because the body will tell you.
Speaker 4: The body will tell you yeah, and my body was
Speaker 4: just like read, let's go.
Speaker 1: Was it kind of tricky for you to get into
Speaker 1: the rhythm of it at first?
Speaker 5: No, I found it very difficult. And I think a
Speaker 5: lot of first time fisters run into this issue where
Speaker 5: I have my first experience it's a ton of fun.
Speaker 5: I love it, I want to do it again. And then,
Speaker 5: for the first time ever, I have to start communicating
Speaker 5: this to potential partners. And it was actually quite difficult
Speaker 5: from that point on because there seemed to be a
Speaker 5: strange resistance to playing with a beginner, and I talk
Speaker 5: to a lot of beginners now and that seems to
Speaker 5: still be the case, which is really unfortunate. And I
Speaker 5: feel like sometimes fisting Twitter and fisting media exacerbates this
Speaker 5: problem that we as a community tend to kind of
Speaker 5: prioritize very advanced bodies and very advanced tolls, and we
Speaker 5: don't necessarily make enough space for the beginners.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think, as a fisting top who like
Speaker 3: we want, I have really big hands, and so beginners
Speaker 3: aren't always my favorite because the time commitment portion of
Speaker 3: it I don't always have. And it's not because I'm
Speaker 3: not interested in helping someone learn and grow. It's just
Speaker 3: because it's like I've only got two hours on a Wednesday.
Speaker 5: There actually are guys out there who really erotically enjoy
Speaker 5: the process of training and working somebody open, and that's
Speaker 5: the dream, right, Like, if you're a beginner, you kind
Speaker 5: of want to find these guys that like opening a
Speaker 5: new butt is kind of their fetish. So I would
Speaker 5: tell everybody to maybe make that your focus in the beginning,
Speaker 5: because yeah, I've trained beginner bottoms too, and they're always like,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna come over on Tuesday and I'm gonna take
Speaker 5: my first fist today and I'm like, Babe, I don't
Speaker 5: know how to tell you this, but it's not gonna
Speaker 5: happen the first time we try it. It's not gonna
Speaker 5: happen the first three times we try it. And that
Speaker 5: is that is a huge commitment. That's a big time commitment. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm in New Yorker, I've got things to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a busy girl.
Speaker 3: She's a busy girl.
Speaker 1: She's only got time for fingers today.
Speaker 3: Sorry.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Right.
Speaker 1: So then what does that kind of entail? What should
Speaker 1: people expect if they're kind of starting out.
Speaker 5: I think most people go to toys, and that's my
Speaker 5: advice to most people training or just starting out. One
Speaker 5: thing I commonly tell people is that you don't advance
Speaker 5: as fister with fists. You advance through toy play and
Speaker 5: solo sessions, because it's really about learning your own body
Speaker 5: and how something just feels up there. It sounds very unsexy,
Speaker 5: but you do have to kind of treat it like
Speaker 5: a gym membership, like once a week, I'm gonna sit
Speaker 5: on this butt plug and go really slow and use
Speaker 5: lots of lube.
Speaker 4: And make it sort of my solo time.
Speaker 5: And you do kind of have to keep a schedule,
Speaker 5: like if you're really seriously training, some people say you
Speaker 5: should be doing some ass play once a week, some
Speaker 5: people say it a couple times a week. I would
Speaker 5: say at least every two weeks. You're not necessarily fisting
Speaker 5: with other people every time. In fact, most of those
Speaker 5: times should be solo and with yourself, And that's what
Speaker 5: I recommend people do.
Speaker 4: That's what I did.
Speaker 3: Did you have a mentor to sort of help you
Speaker 3: along in this process?
Speaker 5: Actually, I just met fisting friends fisting sisters. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 5: and we're still really close because of it. Like, if
Speaker 5: you're starting off as a fist bottom, your best friends
Speaker 5: are other fist bottoms who can tell you toy recommendations
Speaker 5: and their favorite lube. And yeah, it's like little things
Speaker 5: like that that you don't really think about that you
Speaker 5: need other bottoms to coach you through.
Speaker 1: Now We've talked a bit about fisting bottoms, but I'm
Speaker 1: wondering if you have any advice for first time fisting tops.
Speaker 1: I feel like the conception for a lot of fisting
Speaker 1: tops is like, oh, well, you just throw some glub
Speaker 1: on your hand and like slowly slide in and you're good. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: what do fisting tops need to know and what do
Speaker 1: they need to be bringing to the table.
Speaker 5: The saying in the fisting community is the best tops
Speaker 5: or verse guys or you know, former bottoms. I've known
Speaker 5: some tops that are very, very naturally skilled tops that
Speaker 5: have never taken a fist or aren't interested in taking
Speaker 5: a fist themselves and not interested in bottoming, but they
Speaker 5: are rarer. I think every top could benefit from at
Speaker 5: least trying to bottom a little bit, because otherwise you
Speaker 5: don't really know where you're going and how it feels.
Speaker 5: And I became a better top after I had been
Speaker 5: fisting for years, and now I'm very very verse, and
Speaker 5: I fist top just as much as fist bottom. Now,
Speaker 5: if you're just starting off and you're not interested in bottoming,
Speaker 5: I'd say learn from a very experienced fist botto and
Speaker 5: ask questions and ask what feels good and it's okay
Speaker 5: to do kind of a clinical training session. I've done
Speaker 5: that with beginner tops sore. I've been like, look, this
Speaker 5: isn't going to be sexy. This might not be the
Speaker 5: hottest session you ever have, but like, I'm going to
Speaker 5: go through the steps and be like, here's how you
Speaker 5: mix the lube, here's how you lay down blankets, and
Speaker 5: then I'll literally like do a diagram of my hand
Speaker 5: and I'll be like, okay, you start this way, and
Speaker 5: then it's just stop, go, stop, go, kind of traffic
Speaker 5: light telling him when to push forward, when to pull back.
Speaker 5: And it's not a sexy session, but it is how
Speaker 5: you train somebody to top. And I think every aspiring
Speaker 5: fistop needs a few sessions like that.
Speaker 3: So what feels good about fisting? In your own words?
Speaker 5: So, I can't explain the pleasure behind it except that
Speaker 5: it's the best orgasm I can feel. It's the greatest
Speaker 5: physical pleasure I can experience.
Speaker 4: And I don't know why.
Speaker 3: Now there is something about watching someone get fisted and.
Speaker 1: You're getting lost in the visual Right now now I am.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking about the last time I fisted behind and
Speaker 3: I see it with you. It was truly magical and
Speaker 3: just watching that look on their face and like the
Speaker 3: pleasure that their body is receiving, it is like top tier.
Speaker 3: It's magic.
Speaker 5: We You can also have an anal orgasm, right, Yes,
Speaker 5: I think I don't know if I've ever ejaculated from fisting,
Speaker 5: but I've had like a full body shaking anal orgasm.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the whole New world.
Speaker 3: Orgasms are kind of the best thing out there. Honestly,
Speaker 3: They're really because you can have like multiple of them,
Speaker 3: you can have back to back, and like it took
Speaker 3: me a long time to experience one.
Speaker 5: And actually the first time I had an anal orgasm
Speaker 5: was at a big group fisting party where they were
Speaker 5: like fifteen slings set up and I swear it sounded
Speaker 5: like somebody was giving birth to a cow. I mean
Speaker 5: I just yelled for minutes, like just shouted.
Speaker 4: That was it. It was great.
Speaker 1: Okay, So not to harsh the vibe in the room,
Speaker 1: not to pull out my whole fist at once, but
Speaker 1: I'm curious. I do want to know about some of
Speaker 1: the risks involved with fisting. I know that some of
Speaker 1: them are highly stigmatized and exaggerated, but I know that
Speaker 1: some are practical concerns that we have to think about.
Speaker 1: What are some health and safety concerns that you'd encourage
Speaker 1: people to think about.
Speaker 5: Several I mean, I've been fisting for well over a decade,
Speaker 5: and I've been involved in the fisting scene, and i
Speaker 5: know multiple friends that have been in the emergency room
Speaker 5: that have had surgery, that have had such severe injuries
Speaker 5: that they will never be able to fist to the
Speaker 5: same extent that they did before. If you get injured,
Speaker 5: you can get permanent scar tissue inside your rectum, and
Speaker 5: scar tissue doesn't stretch, so you can stop even your
Speaker 5: regular like not even fisting, but just anal sex life
Speaker 5: for the rest of your life. So it is a
Speaker 5: high risk sex sport. But you can go too fast
Speaker 5: in the very beginning and push it, and because you're tight,
Speaker 5: you're going to get hurt or when you're going from
Speaker 5: like punches to like elbow, you know, and there's a
Speaker 5: lot of fists life between those two places, and it's
Speaker 5: always in those two spots very beginning or pretty advanced
Speaker 5: that people seem to get pretty badly hurt. So people
Speaker 5: do need to think about gloves is a way to
Speaker 5: moderate risk and actually just going really slow and listening
Speaker 5: to your body and obviously using proper loube. But the
Speaker 5: biggest predicator of injury potential infesting is fisting on kims,
Speaker 5: on substances that override your own ability to read pain
Speaker 5: and read your own bodies limits. And everybody I know
Speaker 5: who's gotten hurt and fisting has done so high. They
Speaker 5: were pushing it past their own limit and they weren't
Speaker 5: listening to their body, and that's how you get hurt.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, thank you for mentioning the kims and fisting,
Speaker 3: because I think as a sober person, it took me
Speaker 3: a long time to get back into fisting sober. It
Speaker 3: took a lot of conversations with people who do it,
Speaker 3: and just like being able to understand that, like fisting
Speaker 3: can happen without kims, and it can happen without poppers.
Speaker 3: Like I know people who take doubles without poppers, which
Speaker 3: is mind boggling to me, but they exist.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I used to term doubles. Is that exactly what
Speaker 1: it sounds like?
Speaker 6: It?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 6: Thank you?
Speaker 1: Do you mean two heads? Double?
Speaker 4: Doubles are my favorite thing?
Speaker 1: Interesting, You guys should form a doubles team and then
Speaker 1: we'll go bowling.
Speaker 3: It'll be great.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I kind of wanted to address another misnomer. I
Speaker 1: think for a lot of folks, there's this idea that
Speaker 1: fisting quote unquote ruins other forms of sex, that like,
Speaker 1: once you've found fisting, you never want to do anything else.
Speaker 1: So I'm curious what would you say to folks that
Speaker 1: have that concern.
Speaker 5: I have been fisting for well over ten years, and
Speaker 5: I love other kinds of sex, and I have a
Speaker 5: lot of other kinds of sex. I don't know any
Speaker 5: fisters who only fist. I don't know a single fister
Speaker 5: who like that's it.
Speaker 3: I mean, I do have a friend who.
Speaker 1: Always have a friend. If there's anybody that has a
Speaker 1: friend and it's Chris.
Speaker 3: She does have other sacks, but she's less likely to
Speaker 3: prioritize that over a fisting appointment totally.
Speaker 5: Like I went on a date recently with this guy
Speaker 5: and he wasn't into fisting, and we had a couple
Speaker 5: of dates and he was like, so are you going
Speaker 5: back and I'm gonna fucket your place? And I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna be honest with you, dude. If I'm douching tonight,
Speaker 5: it's for fisting and you're not into fisting, so sometimes
Speaker 5: sometimes yeah, Like if you're gonna put in the work
Speaker 5: of cleaning out, yeah.
Speaker 3: And that's the way it comes down to. He's like,
Speaker 3: if I'm douchinge, then I'm going to get a fist.
Speaker 1: What does douching and preparation for fisting look like compared
Speaker 1: to getting fucked by a dick.
Speaker 4: I don't know if there's a single monolithic answer to that.
Speaker 5: Because some guys, these mysterious creatures out there, have these
Speaker 5: magical golden rectums that just work after one poop and
Speaker 5: they're spotless and they're fine. They tend to be vegan,
Speaker 5: and some people, like I fully admit here that I'm
Speaker 5: one of the people that takes a little bit longer,
Speaker 5: or my body's a little bit more funky. I have
Speaker 5: lactose in tolerance, and so I have to be much
Speaker 5: more careful with what I eat beforehand, and so my
Speaker 5: duching regimen is going to be completely different. I know
Speaker 5: guys who spend twenty minutes and they're fine, they can
Speaker 5: get fisted all night. And I know guys who spend
Speaker 5: two hours getting ready and they're like, okay. I think
Speaker 5: I'm like mostly okay, and it all depends on your piping,
Speaker 5: your body, your system, but duching's not good for you,
Speaker 5: and I would tell most people to try and minimize
Speaker 5: the duching process as much as you can, especially since I.
Speaker 4: Came to Europe.
Speaker 5: I'm actually one of those people that I'm completely comfortable
Speaker 5: with just giving it a shot. If it's just a dick,
Speaker 5: I'll be like, well, let's just try it and if not,
Speaker 5: we can wash up after, Whereas I would never do
Speaker 5: that with fisting. I would never be like, let's just
Speaker 5: give it a shot and see.
Speaker 4: How it goes. Like No, with fisting, I'm gonna imagine.
Speaker 3: Three hours later, Yeah, yeah, What have you learned about
Speaker 3: yourself through fisting?
Speaker 5: Actually, I've learned a lot about my gender, or the
Speaker 5: idea of gender, because when I first came out, I
Speaker 5: was like hard gay, like strictly gay.
Speaker 4: I felt very very.
Speaker 5: Sis and I went through a whole gender journey and
Speaker 5: I still feel very sis gender. But fisting gave me
Speaker 5: this space to sort of challenge that, and it certainly
Speaker 5: challenged my sexual orientation. And thanks to fisting, I realized
Speaker 5: I'm not strictly gay. I will have sex with any
Speaker 5: person of any gender. I have sex with men, women, transmn,
Speaker 5: trans women, and the great thing about fisting is that
Speaker 5: gender wise, it's very equalizing. I've met so many amazing
Speaker 5: fist toop trans men who they're like, my hands are
Speaker 5: my dick, and they feel so empowered by fisting because
Speaker 5: everybody has hands in a butthole, so gender really becomes
Speaker 5: irrelevant in fisting. We all have the same parts, and
Speaker 5: anybody can be a top and anybody can be a
Speaker 5: bott of. Anybody can be dominant, anybody can be subby.
Speaker 5: I've never had a very strong connection to my dick.
Speaker 5: I'm not a big dick guy. And there was a
Speaker 5: moment a few years ago in my fisting journey where
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, what does that mean?
Speaker 5: Am I broken? Shouldn't I have a strong connection to
Speaker 5: my dick? Does that mean that I'm not cisgendered? Should
Speaker 5: I start questioning this? And in the end I came
Speaker 5: to the understanding that I'm very cis gender. But I'm
Speaker 5: grateful that fisting gave me a space to ask those questions.
Speaker 5: You know, when I was like hard fist bottoming a lot,
Speaker 5: I felt very connected to feminine energy, especially when I
Speaker 5: started adding like laingerie and stuff like that. And I
Speaker 5: find that that's true with a lot of fisters. We
Speaker 5: tend to be really comfortable with gender fluidity, with non
Speaker 5: traditional gender presentation because fisting as a culture renders gender
Speaker 5: kind of mood. We all have the same parts, we
Speaker 5: all have the same bodies.
Speaker 4: I mean, like one time I was.
Speaker 5: At Berkheim and I was like standing in a corner,
Speaker 5: like in my little red Jox trap and a tiny,
Speaker 5: petite Cis woman came up to me and like cruised
Speaker 5: me hard, and she was like, hey, I see you're
Speaker 5: wearing a red Jox trap. Does that mean you're into fisting?
Speaker 5: And I was like yes, and she was like cool,
Speaker 5: I have gloves and I have lube. I'm a fist top.
Speaker 5: And I was like fuck yeah. And in that moment
Speaker 5: I liked her energy and I was like, oh, you're
Speaker 5: a domb like you're alpha energy, and she was like tiny,
Speaker 5: you know so much short. I'm like to her, I'm
Speaker 5: a relatively big guy. And I swear she could have
Speaker 5: led me around that club on a leash, like she
Speaker 5: was complete dumb energy. And in that moment I became
Speaker 5: complete sub energy. And it was beautiful because we were
Speaker 5: both into fisting, and so we spoke the same language,
Speaker 5: and so bodies gender. It all felt so irrelevant. We connected,
Speaker 5: We linked, and she was this amazing fist top and
Speaker 5: I was this quivering little fist bottom and it was great.
Speaker 5: It was so hot and connections like that happened in fisting.
Speaker 4: It was great.
Speaker 1: This feels like a great place to take a break.
Speaker 1: So when we come back, we're going to be asking
Speaker 1: Alex for more tips and tricks for first time fisters
Speaker 1: and the fist curious.
Speaker 3: Stay tuned, Welcome back. We're here with Alex Cheves, writer
Speaker 3: and expert fister, and in this act we're going to
Speaker 3: be pumping Alex for more practical advice that you can
Speaker 3: use the blossom into the fullest fister you can be.
Speaker 3: So in your book you talk about being HIV positive
Speaker 3: and I'm wondering, how does that relate to your fisting practice.
Speaker 5: Well, I only started fisting after I was positive, so
Speaker 5: I don't know. I've been positive since before prep, so
Speaker 5: I still remember like dating before anybody knew about PREP
Speaker 5: and how awful it was. But actually, interestingly enough, when
Speaker 5: I first tested positive, and I was in my junior
Speaker 5: year in college, I had a really progressive, good doctor,
Speaker 5: and at that time it took a long time to
Speaker 5: get on medication. I would have to wait months before
Speaker 5: I got my first meds. And so he was like,
Speaker 5: you know, there are safer sex practices that don't involve
Speaker 5: fluid transmission, and fisting is one of them, So if
Speaker 5: you want to try that, And in that moment, I
Speaker 5: was like, I would never.
Speaker 1: And here we are, and here we are playing doubles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, has PREP changed the fisting scene at all for you?
Speaker 5: I don't know if PREP changed fisting for me, but
Speaker 5: PREP profoundly changed dating for me.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I actually tested positive the year that PREP was approved
Speaker 5: as a drug, but it seemed to take about two
Speaker 5: years at least in my memory, for it to become
Speaker 5: part of the gay ethos. And for those two years,
Speaker 5: the minute I told somebody that I was positive, I
Speaker 5: got blocked on every platform and every app. But the
Speaker 5: fear in the stigma was much higher, and PREP profoundly
Speaker 5: changed life for me, and I think for most HIV
Speaker 5: positive people, because suddenly negative people could protect themselves and
Speaker 5: so they weren't as powerless. That certainly empowered people who
Speaker 5: are HIV negative, but empower people who are HIV positive too,
Speaker 5: because it made the stakes of having sex with someone
Speaker 5: a little bit lighter, a little bit more easy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've talked a little bit about like Cynthia Slater
Speaker 1: and some fisting trailblazers throughout history on the podcast. But
Speaker 1: I'm curious, what's your sense of fisting as a historical practice.
Speaker 1: You know, we read back and it seems like it
Speaker 1: was quite popular, especially in the Bay Area in the seventies.
Speaker 1: So what is you sense of how like fisting has
Speaker 1: evolved throughout the years or sort of its historical context
Speaker 1: within our community.
Speaker 5: I mean, we know that fisting has been around, like
Speaker 5: I mean in versions of the kamasuture, there's inserting a
Speaker 5: hand into a into an orifice, but we're doing a
Speaker 5: lot more than that now.
Speaker 1: Shoulder deep, shoulders, yeah, hands coming out of my mouth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the point. I love your ambition. I love you
Speaker 1: what a trendsetter.
Speaker 5: I got really lucky in the fact that one of
Speaker 5: my first regular playmates was this very experienced had been
Speaker 5: fisting for forty years, Like he was fisting at the
Speaker 5: underground fisting clubs in San Francisco back in the mid seventies,
Speaker 5: and so he'd been fisting for most of his life
Speaker 5: by that point, and so he really was a great
Speaker 5: partner to learn from and train for and trained with. Actually,
Speaker 5: one time I just asked him what suddenly made us
Speaker 5: start doing this? And he was very blunt. He said,
Speaker 5: when synthetic recreational drugs became widely available in the American
Speaker 5: public and ammal nitrates came out, he was like, fisting
Speaker 5: did take off. The intensity and the extreme ways that
Speaker 5: we play in festing do go hand in hand with
Speaker 5: substances a lot more so than I would say that
Speaker 5: another fetish scenes. And I think that only recently is
Speaker 5: there a generation of queer men who are critiquing that
Speaker 5: and re looking at fisting sober because we've lost so
Speaker 5: many friends. We've had so many friends struggle with addiction issues,
Speaker 5: and fisting is kind of a gateway drug.
Speaker 1: Another thing that I think scares people away from fisting.
Speaker 1: We got to talk about the prolapses. I think some
Speaker 1: people really love seeing them and some people get really
Speaker 1: freaked out when they see them. And I don't think
Speaker 1: prolapses are like specific to fisting, but they seem to
Speaker 1: go hand in hand if you will back in by
Speaker 1: porn Day's people love to like show their low prolapse
Speaker 1: and the calm leaking out at the end, and we
Speaker 1: all clap and it would be amazing. Some of them
Speaker 1: were bigger than others. I'm not here to I'm not
Speaker 1: a size queen, right, but I'm wondering when it comes
Speaker 1: to fisting, are there any risks to one's body in
Speaker 1: terms of prolapses? And then how much of it is
Speaker 1: just sort of like fear at seeing the inside of someone.
Speaker 5: I have to be very upfront and say, I'm not
Speaker 5: a doctor and I'm not a medical professional, so I
Speaker 5: don't know if I'm the most qualified to answer that.
Speaker 5: I know a lot of people who do prolapse. Do
Speaker 5: I personally believe that prolapsing is completely harmless? No, I don't,
Speaker 5: But I don't think that fisting as a whole is
Speaker 5: completely harmless. There is a certain point at which fisting
Speaker 5: does become body modification. Yeah, in part because of fisting Twitter,
Speaker 5: we're all competing and uploading our videos and trying to
Speaker 5: outdo each other. And over the last ten years, I
Speaker 5: think that the frequency at which I hear about my
Speaker 5: friends getting injured has increased, and it seems that the
Speaker 5: level of intensity at which people are fisting has dramatically increased,
Speaker 5: and with that will come more risk because more intense
Speaker 5: fisting means a higher likelihood of injury. Fisting hasn't been
Speaker 5: like this mainstream ever. So I will be one of
Speaker 5: the first generations to have grown up in a fisting
Speaker 5: community that I want get bigger. By the time I'm
Speaker 5: what forty to fifty, I'll have been fisting for like
Speaker 5: most of my sexual development, and so will have all
Speaker 5: my friends. And I'm really curious whether or not when
Speaker 5: we're there, we'll look back and say, oh, that fisting
Speaker 5: is dangerous. There very well could be long term health
Speaker 5: effects and deleterious health effects that come as a result
Speaker 5: of frequent fisting. We actually just don't know because in
Speaker 5: the pre Internet days, fisting was niche and obscure and small,
Speaker 5: and so we just didn't have the kind of data
Speaker 5: on whether or not fisting was safe long term.
Speaker 4: And let's face it, in the.
Speaker 5: Eighties, everybody died, you know, and so we lost a
Speaker 5: whole generation, and so we lose that data. Yeah, now
Speaker 5: that people are living longer and queer men are living
Speaker 5: full lives as fisters, we've yet to see if fisting
Speaker 5: is safe long term.
Speaker 3: I also feel like the age of people who are
Speaker 3: interested in fisting is getting younger and younger. Right Like
Speaker 3: when I started, obviously I was really young, but like
Speaker 3: the only people that were into fisting were in their
Speaker 3: forties and fifties and beyond. And now I know twenty
Speaker 3: three year olds who are gape investors, you know, like advance.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you're twenty three, what age should you start
Speaker 3: this process?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 5: When I was twenty one, I remember when I was
Speaker 5: asking for somebody to train me or somebody to fist
Speaker 5: with me, the most common response was concern. Advanced fisting
Speaker 5: guys would be like, you're too young, you shouldn't be
Speaker 5: doing this yet. Which is interesting because now I know
Speaker 5: twenty one year olds that are like way past where
Speaker 5: I am at, and that is fisting Twitter. That when
Speaker 5: something's regularly available and at your fingertips online, more and
Speaker 5: more people are going to do it at a younger
Speaker 5: at younger age, and there is a competitive element to
Speaker 5: fisting that really I think is the biggest danger in
Speaker 5: the scene and the biggest problem in the scene is
Speaker 5: the way it's talked about online is that it's a
Speaker 5: goal oriented fetish. Everyone's like, I want to get to
Speaker 5: doubles or I want to get to punches, or I
Speaker 5: want to get past the elbow, and like they see
Speaker 5: it now as this fetish of growth and development that
Speaker 5: comes with like markers and tears, and I want to
Speaker 5: get to that marker, and then I want to get
Speaker 5: to that marker. And that is the wrong way to
Speaker 5: view fisting, and that's how people get hurt. That's a
Speaker 5: really dangerous way to you fisting, because the reality is
Speaker 5: that some bodies can't fist to the obo. Some people
Speaker 5: have anatomy that can't fist deep. And by prioritizing and
Speaker 5: celebrating the very, very advanced fisters, it becomes an issue
Speaker 5: of like ableism and access almost like some bodies simply
Speaker 5: can't do that. And if we make that desirable, then
Speaker 5: people will feel like their bodies aren't desirable. And that's
Speaker 5: not the kind of fisting scene that I want to
Speaker 5: be part of that I participated.
Speaker 3: So ox, I would love to know what is in
Speaker 3: your fisting kit, Like, oh, you have a go bag.
Speaker 5: Fisting kit will vary if I'm going as a top
Speaker 5: or as a bottom. My fisting kit at the top
Speaker 5: is pretty it's pretty minimal. I mean, there's not a
Speaker 5: whole lot I need, so as a bottom usually bring toys.
Speaker 5: I'm a big toy queen. I always make my own loob.
Speaker 5: Everybody has a different kind of lube that they like,
Speaker 5: and there's a battle among fisters about who has the
Speaker 5: best formula. I have the best formula.
Speaker 3: Are you willing to share? What is your concoction?
Speaker 5: You need a blender for good loob or I use
Speaker 5: X lube and I mix Crisco into it. And when
Speaker 5: I was in the US, I used to use it
Speaker 5: was like a corn Huskers lotion. Used to be able
Speaker 5: to get it at like feed in seed stores. It
Speaker 5: was a kind of calming I know, right. It was
Speaker 5: like this cheap hand lotion for guys who worked out
Speaker 5: in the fields. And I used to mix a little
Speaker 5: bit of corn huskers lotion into my concoction of jlube
Speaker 5: and Crisco, and I would actually add a tiny little
Speaker 5: dash of clove oil because clove is a natural anti inflammatory.
Speaker 5: Mix it in a blender and it's perferfect.
Speaker 1: So I'm curious. I think we've all seen like the
Speaker 1: retro photos from like clubs in the meatpacking district with
Speaker 1: like giant things of chris Like. It feels like Crisco
Speaker 1: was sort of the fisting lube of the past. It's
Speaker 1: the throwback, it's the nostalgia factor. I'm shocked to hear
Speaker 1: that it is still used, and I'm curious, what's sort
Speaker 1: of the difference between something like Crisco and then are
Speaker 1: like alphabet of lubes that we have now like klube,
Speaker 1: jlube x lube.
Speaker 4: Well, Crisco doesn't have to be mixed, so that's the thing. Crisco.
Speaker 5: You just open it up and go the letter lubes
Speaker 5: like klube X lube, jlube, they start off as a
Speaker 5: powder and when you add water you turn them into lubes.
Speaker 4: You have to make them.
Speaker 5: There's drawbacks to both. Crisco stains everything. Crisco's not toy
Speaker 5: friendly to every kind of toy, whereas the water based ones,
Speaker 5: the ones that you mix. The powder ones are toy
Speaker 5: friendly across the board. You can use them with any
Speaker 5: kind of toy, silicone not silicone, whatever. And people like
Speaker 5: the fact that the powder based fisting lubes are customizable,
Speaker 5: so if you add more water, they become more runny,
Speaker 5: more viscous. I like my loub to be really kind
Speaker 5: of thick and goofy, which means I increase the ratio
Speaker 5: of powder to water. But you can play with it,
Speaker 5: right you kind of find what you like your own
Speaker 5: mixture to be. But with the powder ones, jlube is
Speaker 5: highly highly slippery. Excellute is highly slippery. I mean people
Speaker 5: fall all the time from this stuff. Whereas Crisco has
Speaker 5: a little bit more give, more grit, more texture. You're
Speaker 5: not completely incapacitated if you're covered in it. You just
Speaker 5: kind of slimy with the mixing loubs and you can't
Speaker 5: like do anything with your hands until it's off.
Speaker 3: It is kind of intense, and trying to wash it
Speaker 3: off is like a process.
Speaker 4: Absolute nightmare.
Speaker 5: I mean, somebody watching this is gonna is gonna use
Speaker 5: one of these lubes and they're gonna be scrubbing for
Speaker 5: forty five minutes trying to get the shit off them.
Speaker 5: And so I want to tell them right now the
Speaker 5: secret is salt. Yeah, Salt breaks down the bond of
Speaker 5: most powder loubes with the water and it makes it
Speaker 5: run off. So get like a couple things of like
Speaker 5: cheap grocery store or salt that has like the thing
Speaker 5: you can really pour it and just cover your hands
Speaker 5: in salt, and never share loub because that, that too
Speaker 5: is a good health rule. Yes, never share lube. I
Speaker 5: want to broadcast that to everybody. Never share lube. It's
Speaker 5: not safe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because some folks put kims in theirs and they
Speaker 3: don't tell you that they put kyms in there. So
Speaker 3: if you're like using your fisting and they're like all
Speaker 3: of a sudden, you're like, oh, that's that's an interesting sensation.
Speaker 1: See, yeah, that's spicy. Is there like a sanitation reason
Speaker 1: as well? Like everyone's just like dipping their hands in, Like,
Speaker 1: what's the primary reason you should not be sharing lube?
Speaker 4: Well, so think about it.
Speaker 5: If there's like a central tub and your hand is
Speaker 5: inside someone's rectum and it's dipping back into the same
Speaker 5: vat that hands and other people's rectums have been inside,
Speaker 5: it's just an easy formula for infection and easily formula
Speaker 5: for spreading gut bacteria. And that's how you walk home
Speaker 5: from a fisting event with like H colorI and E.
Speaker 4: Coli. Yeah, don't share loube.
Speaker 3: How should people find the sea insane partners to fists?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I think that's a really hard question
Speaker 5: across all of gay sex, because it doesn't matter if
Speaker 5: you're into fisting or anything else. The tools that we
Speaker 5: have available to meet sex partners are the same. We
Speaker 5: all have in person events and we have the Internet. Yeah,
Speaker 5: if anything, I would say that people who are willing
Speaker 5: to have a dialogue beforehand and talk about limits and
Speaker 5: boundaries and experience is a good way to sort of
Speaker 5: filter out the people who you shouldn't play with. One
Speaker 5: common thing that I did when I was just getting
Speaker 5: started is I would meet a fist top and I
Speaker 5: would ask him, oh, well, what kind of loob do
Speaker 5: you like? And if he was just like, oh, you know,
Speaker 5: regular loob, I'd be like, I don't know, I don't think.
Speaker 7: This is a matter yeah morning, well yeah really, but seriously,
Speaker 7: like you do have to kind of use stuff like that.
Speaker 7: And then if somebody was like, oh well I have
Speaker 7: my special formula, I'm like, all right, good, you know
Speaker 7: what you're doing. Somebody has that level of knowledge. It's
Speaker 7: not a guarantee that they're going to be a good
Speaker 7: fisting partner, but it does show that they know at
Speaker 7: least a little bit about websisting entails.
Speaker 1: Yeah, earlier we were talking about some of the potential
Speaker 1: risks of harm and stuff that folks should look out for.
Speaker 1: But I'm curious about duration. Is there a time period
Speaker 1: where you could be fisting for too long? Like is
Speaker 1: there sort of an ideal window where you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: we should take a break, or we shouldn't go longer
Speaker 1: than like X amount of time.
Speaker 5: You know, I really like a long session as long
Speaker 5: as you do frequent breaks. I think there's no problem
Speaker 5: doing a long session. I mean, I've I mean doing
Speaker 5: fulsome Berlin, I'm fisting like most days in a row,
Speaker 5: you know, for four or five days, and so No,
Speaker 5: I don't know if I think that there's an objective limit.
Speaker 5: That said, when you add substances to the mix, then
Speaker 5: it's harder to read that limit. I had my own
Speaker 5: history with drugs that thankfully is really healthy now, at
Speaker 5: one point it was not.
Speaker 4: And the only times that I have ever.
Speaker 5: Felt like I pushed it too far that I know
Speaker 5: that I skirted injury because of endurance, because of how
Speaker 5: long I was fisting was on substances that eliminated my
Speaker 5: ability to read my own body. Like one time I
Speaker 5: was in Fire Island Pines and I did a marathon,
Speaker 5: druggy fisting session with the guy who had huge hands,
Speaker 5: and I overdid it and I bruised my rectum and
Speaker 5: I had painful poops and I had to go back
Speaker 5: to the hospital in New York and the doctor was like,
Speaker 5: you're fine, You're just bruised and really sore. Like it
Speaker 5: was a really really good gay doctor, and I told
Speaker 5: him everything. I told him exactly what I did, and
Speaker 5: he was like, this was a warning, Like you're not injured,
Speaker 5: but that's because you stopped when you stopped, and if
Speaker 5: you had kept going, you probably would.
Speaker 4: Have been injured.
Speaker 5: And so that comes from keems, not from fisting. Like
Speaker 5: if I had been sober, I would have recognized that
Speaker 5: I was starting to get sore, because you can feel
Speaker 5: in an ass when someone's starting to heat up, when
Speaker 5: someone's starting to wear out, Like when I'm fisting a bottom,
Speaker 5: even before he's aware that he's getting a little sore
Speaker 5: and tired, I can actually feel it. The tissue gets
Speaker 5: warm and inflamed, and if you're fisting some much, you
Speaker 5: can feel that inflammation happened. And then normally as a top,
Speaker 5: I'll say, all right, I think it's time to take
Speaker 5: a pause.
Speaker 3: Yeah, can we talk a little bit about aftercare.
Speaker 5: I take a depository and that kind of keeps it
Speaker 5: like not rollen and painful. Like fisting does cause damage,
Speaker 5: It does cause inflammation, It does cause pain. Post fisting,
Speaker 5: kind of look for care, look for any damage, and
Speaker 5: not go too hard anymore. I mean, like, I know
Speaker 5: guys who will do a lot of heavy toy play
Speaker 5: after after a fisting session. I wouldn't do a heavy
Speaker 5: play after a fisting session.
Speaker 3: No, that sounds that sounds crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah it's not. Yeah, it's not the best.
Speaker 3: So this is cruising confessions. I would love to hear
Speaker 3: some of your wild cruising confessions, whether it be from fisting,
Speaker 3: sex work or your life in Berlin.
Speaker 5: My most beautiful fisting experience as the top was when
Speaker 5: I was in sex work in New York. I had
Speaker 5: this regular client. He was significantly older, and he lived
Speaker 5: in this beautiful apartment and everything in his apartment was
Speaker 5: cream colored. It was all milky and cream and silk.
Speaker 5: He was a really advanced fist bottom. I mean, we
Speaker 5: talked about prolapses earlier, but he could push out his
Speaker 5: prolapse pretty significantly, and when it happened, I told him
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, but this is such a design triumph because
Speaker 5: this is the only color in this room, is this
Speaker 5: one little spot of red. And I'm like, you've almost orchestrated.
Speaker 3: This as like he absolutely did.
Speaker 5: That is literally the pop of color literally popped and
Speaker 5: I was like, oh my god, that's amazing.
Speaker 4: But he was.
Speaker 5: He was a client that I had a lot of
Speaker 5: really beautiful conversations with, and he was the old guard.
Speaker 5: He lost everybody he lived through the eighties. He was
Speaker 5: an AIDS activist. He was so small that I could
Speaker 5: literally cradle him in my arms and like rock him
Speaker 5: with my forearm and he just kind of held onto
Speaker 5: my neck, and I felt like I was caring for
Speaker 5: one of our elders in a way that felt meaningful
Speaker 5: and beautiful. And he was lonely and he wanted just
Speaker 5: some company. He wanted just some fisting every now and then.
Speaker 5: But it evolved into a really intimate and loving relationship.
Speaker 5: It was beautiful, really really lovely person. But that's not
Speaker 5: the hottest thing I've ever done. The problem is, like
Speaker 5: cruising confessions, fisting is it something that you kind of
Speaker 5: cruise to do. Fisting is like a date that you
Speaker 5: schedule and you prepare your home space for it. I
Speaker 5: tend to not do it in public. Fisting for me
Speaker 5: is now like a one on one experience, and so
Speaker 5: it's not that wild. I don't have any like wild
Speaker 5: fisting stories because fisting is like my intimate sex. Whereas
Speaker 5: I can go to black party and have sex with
Speaker 5: like fifty people and that's that's fun. That's great, but
Speaker 5: that's not You shouldn't fist at black party. What was
Speaker 5: the black party that they did. It was the last
Speaker 5: one they did in Manhattan and everybody hated it. It
Speaker 5: was called Dark Matter. Do you remember that one? There
Speaker 5: was this really hot muscle fisting couple who every fister
Speaker 5: in New York was after and was really into, and
Speaker 5: they were fist thing on the dance floor and they
Speaker 5: were really putting on a show and they were fisting
Speaker 5: like right in front of everyone on the dance floor,
Speaker 5: and then they ran off the dance floor really quickly
Speaker 5: because the guy had like we saw like a line
Speaker 5: of shit like going down the dance floor, and so
Speaker 5: I mean, he wasn't fully ready, and like it happens,
Speaker 5: It's gonna happen to everybody. But that's why you don't
Speaker 5: do it on a dance floor, correct, in front of
Speaker 5: New York ravers.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, it's just the way the girls are bumping
Speaker 1: into each other on the dance floor. People are never
Speaker 1: aware of their space sometimes, so I'm like, if your
Speaker 1: hands are inside somebody and you've got like millimeters of leeway,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to get you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I'm a clumsy girl. I don't want another clumsy girl
Speaker 1: that could not be me. Yeah, yeah, that's wild. Well, Alex,
Speaker 1: we have almost reached the end of our interview, but
Speaker 1: there's so much more we want to know, so we
Speaker 1: are going to ask you some rapid fire questions.
Speaker 3: If you're down, is that all right?
Speaker 4: Oh my god? Yeah sure, Okay.
Speaker 1: I know fisting takes a lot of preparation. You got
Speaker 1: to get the blender out, you got to mix your
Speaker 1: proprietary thing. But we're gonna make a quick and dirty.
Speaker 3: Now, if that's all right? All right, describe your snippy's
Speaker 3: profile pick.
Speaker 5: Honestly, I take really stupid pick, so it's probably and
Speaker 5: I cannot take a shirtless pick without sticking my tongue out,
Speaker 5: so I probably look like like Miley Cyrus when she
Speaker 5: was like always sticking out her tongue.
Speaker 3: All right, describe the last person you fucked in three.
Speaker 4: Words, Harry, toxic and precious? Was it me? Was that?
Speaker 6: Me?
Speaker 1: Did? I? Was?
Speaker 3: I in Berlin?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 6: Wow?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 1: So if you're meeting somebody for a fisting session, do
Speaker 1: you prefer their place, your place, or a third place?
Speaker 4: Only their place? Almost exclusively their place?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What is your most controversial take related to sex and
Speaker 1: queer life?
Speaker 5: If I could tell one thing to people who are
Speaker 5: just getting started sexually, the queer community places an outsized
Speaker 5: value on sex, and I would just say it is important. Sexism,
Speaker 5: it's great. I've spent my entire life being very sex
Speaker 5: positive and very slutty, and I would want everyone to
Speaker 5: do the same. But after you have a lot of sex,
Speaker 5: you'll learn that you know, it's great. It's a fun
Speaker 5: way to spend a Saturday night, But it's not as
Speaker 5: important as I think a lot of us go through
Speaker 5: our lives believing it is. I would still want everyone
Speaker 5: to find sexual confidence, but you don't have to constantly
Speaker 5: climb or build or do more and more and more.
Speaker 5: It's okay to just kind of coast. I would never
Speaker 5: want anybody to feel, especially with fisting. I would never
Speaker 5: want anyone to feel like they have to reach a
Speaker 5: certain level in order to think that beyond that level
Speaker 5: it's great. There is no magical level at which fisting
Speaker 5: or any kind of sex is just great. It's always
Speaker 5: just sex.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can relate to that.
Speaker 1: That sounds like a great way to end our episode. Yeah, Alex,
Speaker 1: this has been a really incredible conversation. But before we
Speaker 1: let you go, where can folks find your work? And
Speaker 1: what's next on the horizon for you?
Speaker 5: There is a second book coming, but the first book
Speaker 5: is available whoever books are sold, and you can follow
Speaker 5: me on all the social media platforms. The handle is
Speaker 5: bad Alex Cheeves And if anybody's interested in Berlin nightlife,
Speaker 5: follow Hinterhouse Magazine. I'm the editor of a magazine here
Speaker 5: and it's a fun magazine to check out.
Speaker 1: All right, well, we've heard Alex's wild cruising confessions, but
Speaker 1: in our final act we're going to hear an actual
Speaker 1: cruising confession from one of you. Will it's a past
Speaker 1: one of Alex's stories. I highly doubt it, but let's
Speaker 1: stick around and see. Ye.
Speaker 6: Hey, Sniffy's my cruising confession recently happened at a park
Speaker 6: in Brooklyn. So I was walking my dog up on
Speaker 6: the hill. I see these two guys pretty close to
Speaker 6: one another. They look sexy from afar, so we go
Speaker 6: check it out. As we're walking up the hill, it
Speaker 6: starts drizzling and there's a tree. So my dog goes
Speaker 6: and takes some shelter, and I get closer to these
Speaker 6: guys and even sexy, you're up close and they are
Speaker 6: up to no good. And so I decided to take
Speaker 6: shelter with these guys, and you know, we start making
Speaker 6: out and doing hand stuff and doing mouth stuff and yeah,
Speaker 6: as we're blowing one another and you know, getting more
Speaker 6: into it, it starts raining more, more downpour. We're absolutely drenched.
Speaker 6: And this continues on until the first guy comes and
Speaker 6: then I come, and then the guy at our knees
Speaker 6: just goes, man, you too are like a waterfall. And
Speaker 6: after that, I wipe the come away and I grabbed
Speaker 6: my dog and we walked down the hill and the
Speaker 6: sun comes out and I am feeling excellent. Thank you
Speaker 6: for the load sniffies.
Speaker 1: I was like, where was the dog? We lost track
Speaker 1: of the dog. The dog, What was the dog doing
Speaker 1: in the rain?
Speaker 3: It's just like hanging out. Just walk. Yeah, I am
Speaker 3: not a fan of hooking up in the rain.
Speaker 1: I'm from Florida.
Speaker 3: We don't fuck around with around the rain. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I guess I gotta take more walks and parks. I'm
Speaker 3: not I'll be the dog.
Speaker 1: You can walk me and then well, yeah, we'll use
Speaker 1: it as.
Speaker 3: A pretty does a dream come true?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Sorry, my dog was taking shelter right next to where
Speaker 1: you were doing hands stuff things gave people doing fur
Speaker 1: the dogs a lovely cruising confession and thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1: If you'd like to hear your own cruising confession on
Speaker 1: an upcoming episode of this podcast, you can always call
Speaker 1: our Cruising Confessions hotline at three zero two two one
Speaker 1: nine three eight nine eight. Please call in and share.
Speaker 1: I love listening to these. It's my favorite part of
Speaker 1: the show. So now that we're at the end of
Speaker 1: the episode, I have to ask. The beginning, you sort
Speaker 1: of mentioned that you were kind of sure that like,
Speaker 1: fisting isn't for you. Has that changed based on our
Speaker 1: conversation today?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So there was a.
Speaker 1: Moment where Alex was like, I'm lactose intolerant, I can
Speaker 1: still fist and I was like, wow, representation, That's what
Speaker 1: I needed to see. Right when we got to the
Speaker 1: prolapse as part and some of the dangers, and I
Speaker 1: understand all sex is a calculated risk, right, We all
Speaker 1: take calculated risks in in search.
Speaker 3: Of pleasure living in New York.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, I take a calculated risk going to get groceries,
Speaker 1: all right, So like totally understand that. But when we
Speaker 1: did get to the injuries and prolapse part, I was like,
Speaker 1: I think my ratio of not being interested when from
Speaker 1: ninety nine to one hundred, Okay, me and my vowels,
Speaker 1: you know, we've got an interesting relationship. I understand they're
Speaker 1: they're a very uneasy girl. Yeah, And so I just
Speaker 1: I don't know if fisting bottoming is for me, if
Speaker 1: that will ever be for me.
Speaker 4: No, I was wondering more.
Speaker 3: I knew you would never be a fisting bottom, but
Speaker 3: I was, well, what.
Speaker 1: Gave it away so much?
Speaker 3: But I'm wondering if you were more interested in exploring
Speaker 3: fisting as a top.
Speaker 1: I yeah, maybe it's not something I'm seeking out, But
Speaker 1: you know, if you're if you're served a delicious plate,
Speaker 1: why would you not How are you going to say no,
Speaker 1: you got to take a bite. Yeah, take one bite
Speaker 1: and then dip it in the case. That's not a metaphor.
Speaker 1: I don't know why that came up in my head.
Speaker 1: It's not that's not any sort of new slang.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 1: Very grateful to Alex. We're making the call the Away
Speaker 1: from Berlin as well to take us through our very
Speaker 1: first fisting episode. I'm kind of surprised it took us
Speaker 1: until season three. I've been dying to dive in. I
Speaker 1: couldn't think of anyone to do it better with than
Speaker 1: Alex Chevez. And again a reminder. His memoir is titled
Speaker 1: My Love Is a Beast Confessions. All right, we'll see
Speaker 1: you all next time. Safe fisting?
Speaker 3: Is that what we all say?
Speaker 1: Safe fisting? Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is directed by Adam Barron,
Speaker 1: produced by A. Menda Kauper and Cameron Femino, and executive
Speaker 1: produced by Eli Martin.
Speaker 3: Cruising Confessions is presented by Snippy's, the ultimate map based
Speaker 3: cruising platform. We're gay by curious people ready to cruise.
Speaker 3: Check out the map at snippies dot com and Paul
Speaker 3: Snifchees at Snippy's app.
Speaker 1: Cruisers are a community do your part in keeping us safe.
Speaker 1: Learn more about protecting your sexual health at healthy sexuals
Speaker 1: dot com.
Speaker 2: Put Jo, put put jo, put put yo, put