WEBVTT - Breaking Up is Hard to Do with Heather Martin 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell I Suck At Dating with de Youngler and Jared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:10.520 Haven and I heard radio podcast What's going On? Everyone? 0:00:10.640 --> 0:00:13.640 Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:16.600 At Dating. Um. I first want to take a second 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.320 and apologize for last week, but I think that my 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:23.040 absence actually ended up benefiting the podcast in a lot 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:25.960 of ways because Caitlyn and Caroline and Jared all did 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:27.440 a great job. But this week's episode is going to 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:29.600 be even better, if you can believe it. We have 0:00:29.840 --> 0:00:32.760 our favorite Heather Martin joining us. Heather, what's going on? 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:35.720 What's going on? As it's been a long time. It 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:37.680 has been a long time, at least like two months, 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:40.040 I know, I think more than that. No, you're right, 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:44.880 You're right, it's been a little bit longer than that. Well, Jared, also, 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:46.480 I want to say, how do you Hi? Jared, haven't 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:48.239 talked to you in a while. Hi, Gene. I know 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:51.320 it's been a while. I'm still obviously in the coffee 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:54.840 shop right now. Things are good. I'm a little sleep deprived, 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.639 that's what happens with a kid. But Dawson's doing well. 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.720 He had his first well yet. He had a pediatrician 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:03.920 appointment this morning. His first one in Rhode Island because 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:05.760 the other ones have been in Virginia, and they said 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:09.399 that he's measuring in the PenTile in height, So I'm 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:11.600 hoping this it's so like he might be six four. 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:18.160 Everybody's saying he's got big hands, and this kid might 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:21.320 be Tom Brady two point on. I'm just I'm just 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.520 throwing it out there. You're right, you know, when you 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:26.440 know when the NFL or the NBA do is that 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:29.440 does their way too early predictions for next season. That's 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:31.360 what this sounds like. It sounds like it's a little 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:33.119 too early to be making these kind of predictions. But hey, 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:39.240 more power to you if it happened. I know, you 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:42.200 know he's only five weeks old, then he's already five ten. 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:44.479 You gotta you gotta put a football in the baby's 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.400 hands asap. Come on, do you think that the thing 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:50.640 is velcrow to him? But how are are you doing? 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:53.080 What's going on with you? I have to say, first, Jared, 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:57.200 I don't think babies are that cute normally, and your 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:00.720 baby is so cute. Yeah, he's kind of the cutest 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:03.360 thing ever. And I don't just throw that out there 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:05.480 with babies, I think most of the time. They're like, 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.600 like people just say they're cute because like your parents, 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:10.440 but you have a cute baby. Oh well thank you. 0:02:10.480 --> 0:02:12.440 Ashley and I say the same thing all the time, 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:14.960 and we're like, is it us are biased because it 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:18.640 came from us, so we love it more than others. 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:21.120 But everybody says that he's a really cute baby, so 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:26.519 there's some valided he's very cute. Babies five weeks old? Justum, 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.040 catch up to see again on that real quick. So 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:32.240 five weeks I helped my I helped my brother's uh 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.400 five week old baby. I think, uh about when was 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:39.680 your baby born? Jan He was February fourth, Okay, so 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.839 his baby is five days behind your baby, and I've 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.160 never I was telling him about this and I think 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:47.840 the baby came out like a week early too, so um, 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:49.880 you know, not underside what was a little undersized, but 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.520 not like unhealthy undersize or anything like that. Um. All 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.360 the babies you see like movies and stuff are all 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.800 like probably like six to twelve months old, right, so 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:01.880 they're like big and fat and like chru big looking. Um, 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:08.280 but newborn babies are like kind of weird looking. A 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:11.280 lot of newborns, no that's the first. That's the first 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.400 like new baby I've ever been around, Like within the 0:03:13.400 --> 0:03:16.000 first you should see. You should see the kid when 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:18.680 he first comes out. You you want to see weird 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:21.880 looking it's he was a cone head because like when 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:25.200 Dawson came out, Dude, he's purple head to toe. He 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:29.000 looks like Fanos from Avengers. And then his head is 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:31.800 like pointing in the back. It's pretty jarring. You're like, 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:36.520 holy sh your head to go back to like normal shape. 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:43.280 It honestly started going back, honestly that night it started 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:45.760 getting normal. And then his it's weird. So he's got 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:47.240 a soft spot on the top of his head and 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:48.680 the back of his head. So the back of the 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:53.360 head will be hardened by like four months, but the 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:56.480 top of the head stays soft like the first fifteen 0:03:56.480 --> 0:04:00.920 months of his life. Mhlways, it's really Badfully, I want 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:02.640 to squeeze babies heads. And I know it's like the 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:07.000 cutest softest thing. It's like dangerous. Oh it's so dangerous, 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:10.520 Like it's there is this really it is very real. 0:04:10.640 --> 0:04:13.080 You know how people are like something so cute you 0:04:13.120 --> 0:04:16.800 just want to like shake it. It's a very real thing. Yeah, 0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:20.839 it's like, yeah, kissing him from up and down and 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:22.880 like tickling him, and like, I can tell that he's 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:24.960 not enjoying it. He's not at that age where he's 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:27.400 like enjoying tickles. But I can't help myself. I'm like, bro, 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:31.280 I just gotta like, I gotta tickle your feet. I 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:33.960 can't help myself. I've never heard of cute aggression, but 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:35.600 I see where you're coming from. I do the same 0:04:35.600 --> 0:04:36.880 thing with dogs all the time. I'm like, I just 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:38.840 want to squeeze the living out of you, but I 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:40.760 know I can't do that obviously. Yeah, I just want 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:42.520 to hurt it because it's just so cute. I know. 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:44.400 It's the thing some people have that some people don't. 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.120 I don't get how you can't have it, but it's 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:50.320 a real thing. I judge people who walk by dogs 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:55.400 and don't want to stick their face in them. Fully 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:58.119 put your face and that dog's fur. What happens whenever 0:04:58.200 --> 0:05:00.240 stranger comes up to Lois and just show is his 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.159 face in her for that kind of weird you will 0:05:02.440 --> 0:05:09.799 bite them. Yeah, Heather Phillis in what's going on? Where 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.839 have you been? What have you been up to? Honestly, 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:14.799 it's kind of been sambled, same wled. Nothing too crazy 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:18.679 new the past few months. My my sister actually moved, 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:21.240 which has been sad. I like the first one of 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.880 us three. She's gone, like my best friend, so that's 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:26.719 been sad. But she's back to visit this week, so 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:31.480 that's fun. Um, you're still in southern California, right, yea, 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:34.720 silen North County, San Diego. Carl's bad. I love it here. 0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:38.599 It's been so nice. It was like seventy six yesterday. Yeah. 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:41.000 Are you You're not twin sisters, right, but you guys 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:43.040 are just really close. Yeah, we're all two years apart, 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:44.479 so I'm in the middle of three and we all 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:46.599 cheers a part. But me and my little sister looked 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:48.960 a lot like where did she moved to? Do you know? 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:53.200 She had to boise her boyfriends. Her boyfriends there, so 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:58.480 they're going to get married soon, get engaged pretty soon. Excited, 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:05.120 tell her to tell her it's not too late. Dean, 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.200 Are you do you have baby fever? Because Caitlyn last 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:08.960 week in the podcast said that you might be getting 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:12.760 baby fever ever after holding your brother's kid. She said 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:16.160 that on with no grounds, There's no way I like 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:17.600 didn't even talk to her about the baby. I just 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:19.120 sent her a picture of me holding the baby and 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.919 she probably formulated this whole I don't know idea in 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.480 her head. Um. So we did talk. We did talk 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:27.000 about babies the other day. Though I said I would 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:29.040 I would be because I'm not. I'm pretty anti baby 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:31.560 at the moment. But I told her if I ever 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:33.680 get like a job and we've got a lot more 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:36.560 financial security, then I'm more open to having the conversation 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:38.440 about babies. But the uncertainty is really what the thing 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:40.200 that scares me the most about having a child. Do 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:42.680 you think that's going to happen? Though no, I don't. 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:45.880 You know what's really funny he talks about financial and 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.560 not being financially secured. As Calen last week of the 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:51.760 podcast was like, yeah, we're thinking about buying in l A. 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:55.400 We also have the house in Bagh. Short term, short 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:57.440 term we're fine, We're chill, and short term I're talking 0:06:57.520 --> 0:07:00.200 like ten years down the line. I don't know we're 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.359 gonna be flipping burgers at McDonald's in twenty years. I 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:04.200 feel like, I think you're going to be fine. I 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.960 I have faith, all right. Well, anyways, back to back 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:09.680 to Heather, Back to Heather. No, I love to hear 0:07:09.680 --> 0:07:14.080 about when the baby's coming. Are you last time we 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:15.880 talked to you, I think you said you were talking 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.520 to some guy. Right. Are you dating? What's this? What's 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:23.600 the update on your love life? Um? No, I currently No, 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:29.160 not at the moment. I was. Yeah, recently, I'm not 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:34.360 very timely that I'm on this podcast. I feel like 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.800 I've come to the realization I really do suck a dating. 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.640 I feel like You've got a lot to unpack their Phillison, 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:42.680 what's going on? It's just you, me and Dan. Nobody 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:45.520 else is here listening. No, I just know so I 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:50.800 was talking to someone for dating someone for a few months. Um, 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:54.600 And I think I just have come to realize, like 0:07:54.640 --> 0:08:00.840 I'm just really bad at like communicating um my emotions 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:03.920 and my feelings towards people. I think I think he 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.120 was super He's like the best guy ever, Like seriously, 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:09.520 one of the best guys I've ever met, amazing, And 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:13.920 he was super open and forward with his emotions and 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:16.520 just like very expressive. And I think for my whole life, 0:08:16.640 --> 0:08:20.800 I've like I have such a fear of like hurting 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:23.280 people are rejecting people or like that's just like my 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:25.000 biggest fear, like makes you want to die. So I 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:30.160 think I've always held back my feelings or emotions um 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:34.400 out of that fear. And I think, um, in this 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:37.200 situation where I actually like someone, I just kind of 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:40.120 went back to my old habits of doing that, and 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.760 I think that kind of um hurt me in the 0:08:43.800 --> 0:08:49.400 long run. It seems like you both really liked each 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:52.360 other because you made it seem like he was very 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:55.800 forward with his feelings his intentions, which makes me sound 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.600 makes it feel like he said he wanted a relationship 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:04.560 or he saw this going long term. Yes, so are 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:08.120 you saying that maybe you like this guy more than 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:13.360 you were leading on? And if so, why were you 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:17.520 holding back in the beginning? I don't want to know. 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:21.240 Two incluyees of the situation. The situation was very complicated, 0:09:21.360 --> 0:09:24.920 um one, with everything going on with just yeah, just 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:28.320 in general, um so, I think I went in with 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.720 a lot more fears than I normally would. But I 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:34.559 also think, naturally, I'm just so guarded in general. So 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:37.439 I think it like compounded on each other those two things, 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:39.960 um so, and it made me I think, naturally, I 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:41.760 just don't actress my feelings because it's like a fear 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:44.199 of mine. I have like a million rolls. And then 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:46.880 on top of that, the situation was kind of complicated, 0:09:47.040 --> 0:09:49.920 so I just really held back and he was so 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:51.800 and I think I didn't even realize how much I 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:55.880 was holding back until um until the end and I 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:58.400 was like, dang it, Heather, like what's wrong with you? 0:09:58.920 --> 0:10:01.319 And um? And you might have mentioned this was it 0:10:01.400 --> 0:10:06.760 your decision or his decision or was it's it's it's 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:11.040 a uh, the situation is so are like I can't 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:12.920 even get into the whole situation. But it was kind 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:19.160 of just like I was not, um expressing my emotions 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:20.720 in the way that I probably should, and I think 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.520 it was like kind of hurting him. Um, what's holding 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:26.800 you back from expressing your emotions? Now? I think I 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:29.360 think I have now. I think I have now. Um, 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.280 I think he knows where I am now. But I 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:36.600 think it was just yeah, and this is all very 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:41.640 new and there's not awkward. I just there's just like 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:43.520 a lot It's really not award. There's just a lot. 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:48.440 There's a lot um lots of different factors that are 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:54.319 involved that Yeah, how do you guys it sounds like too, 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.480 that there's a chance that you guys might rekindle or 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:58.240 I'm way off base. Yeah I could be wrong, but 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:02.680 I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's so fresh, but 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.560 it's possibly. Like I mean, I think we ended both 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:11.079 um obviously still have lots of feelings involved. But yeah, 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:12.880 when you say fresh, it sounds like you like called 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:19.840 him right before this podcast. Okay, yeah, just bawling. Can 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:24.120 you say how you guys met? Uh. Let me put 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.839 it this way. Everybody listening is assuming that this guy 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:32.440 is from the shows. That's what. Oh I wasn't assuming 0:11:32.480 --> 0:11:35.560 that either, and I was. I was because when you 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:38.240 kept saying it was so overly complicated or there's a 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:40.080 lot of factors, I was like, I wonder if this 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:44.040 guy's like asked to go on Paradise or something. It's 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.360 a more complicated than that. Well, we love complicated, we 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.480 love bizarre. So I mean, this is the place to 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:52.440 events and get it all out there. There is free 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:57.800 therapy session, no names, no names, we'll call him. We'll 0:11:57.840 --> 0:12:05.920 call him John x UM. But that's I guess that's 0:12:05.920 --> 0:12:07.720 good news. It's good news in the sense that you're like, 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.560 you know, you're starting to dial in those emotions and 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:12.600 understand them a little bit better. I feel like, right, 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.000 that's it with positive takeaway for sure. I think this 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.320 has truly been like a really growing experience for me 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:20.840 and like realizing um my flaws in a lot of 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:22.880 ways that I don't think I realized that, like didn't 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:26.720 realize to the extent. It seems like you're putting a 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.680 lot of blame on yourself, which I can't help but 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:32.760 think that you might be a little too hard on yourself, 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.400 you know. I mean, let's ask the honest question. Do 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:37.760 you think that there might have been things that he 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:43.560 could have done better as well? Uh? No, I truly 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:47.960 do like this guy's I don't I don't know. He's 0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:49.960 not saying it's me either. It wasn't like him like 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.120 saying this isn't it's like eating like dang it, like 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:56.200 I messed up because I truly, I truly feel like 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:59.760 it was um But the situation is complicated, Like I 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.400 think it wasn't for the situation that it wouldn't event 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:08.200 the same results. But I do think my lack of 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:12.920 communication skills was probably what with the whole with everything 0:13:12.920 --> 0:13:15.839 going on, is what. Yeah, it was the major issue. 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:21.240 It sounds like there's something something's afoot, something so curious 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.200 right now, Like now my mind is going in all 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:27.640 the cogressions. I'm like, this guy's married, has has another family. 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:33.760 That that's me. Sure, I'm a home wriner. No, no, 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:35.760 but that's where our mind goes, at least for a 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:37.720 brief second, and we're like, wait, no, no, that's not 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.439 that's not that's not Heather. So I guess all we're 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:42.000 left to do is fill in the blanks for yourself, 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:43.600 which you know, that's kind of how it should be, 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.640 I think at the end of the day anyways, But 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.080 you're doing You're doing good. That's let me ask you 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:50.040 how there. So, I'm sure a lot of people are 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:53.840 going through similar situation that you are right now post breakup, 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.640 so or I don't know if you're broken up, but 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:03.320 post whatever the hell's going on right now? What are 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:06.280 you focusing on now? How do you get your mindset 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:09.520 out of focusing on this other person and focusing on 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:18.000 either their future without them, or yourself or multiple factors. Um, 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:21.280 that's a hard question. I think I honestly, I'm focusing 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:24.800 I'm like, I'm just moving forward with my life. I 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:26.360 think it's kind of hard. I think it's been kind 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.040 of a hard situation to move forward with the kind 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:30.800 of like the limbo of like ending of like both 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:34.400 still very much have feelings, but also like this is 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.400 kind of the best choice right now. So I think 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:38.920 that's been hard. I think just focusing on like can't 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:42.880 linger on that, but also like how can I move forward? 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:45.440 How can I grow from the situation, and then thinking 0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:47.080 like I just I think I just go back my 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:48.640 faith and like I think God has planned. I think 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:50.200 there's a plan in this, and I think it's going 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:54.120 to all work out the way it's supposed to. Um, 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:56.720 So just working through that and praying through that, and 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.680 I think that's kind of what I've been relying on, 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:03.560 to be honest, nice, No, I respect that. So, um, 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:05.080 what do you think your next movie is gonna be 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:06.560 just kind of like lay low and take time for 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:12.400 yourself or uh yeah as far as dating goes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:14.680 I think just take a day by day and figure 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:17.800 it out. I have no idea. Um, I think you 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:21.760 should jump right back into it. I think that we Well. 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:25.360 The reason I say that is for multiple reasons, first 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:28.800 and foremost, to make this guy jealous. I think we 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:31.960 need I think because from what you've been telling me, 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:36.280 you're looking I know, it seems like you're looking in 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.040 word right now. What he said, this is the worst 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:42.120 advice I've ever heard. Let me finish my piece of 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:44.920 advice and then you can criticize it. It seems that 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:47.600 you've been looking inward a lot about things that you've 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:50.480 been doing wrong, things that you can approve on within 0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:54.520 a relationship, all great things. Having said that, it also 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:57.440 sounds like you've expressed your feelings towards this person. So 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.600 if you do maybe want to rekindle things, I think 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:02.960 a great way it is just to go back out 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:05.200 there and start dating, and who knows, you might meet 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:09.400 Mr Perfect or maybe you know, he finds out that 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.400 you're dating other people and then it's like, oh, I 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:14.440 can't you know, let her go. I need to woo 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:19.400 her back. I think before Heather, uh, before Heather speaks, 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:20.880 I think that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.720 That that takes the kig. That's number one, And the 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:30.200 reason being is she's just got done telling us how 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:32.480 complicated the situation was. The last thing she needs to 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:34.960 go and do is make it more complicated by dating 0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:37.680 a bunch of other guys and making him jealous. I'm 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:41.520 an agent of chaos. Tein, I see that you're a monster. 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:45.120 Because now I'm settled down with a kid and a wife, 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:48.320 I need to live vicariously through other people. Yeah, so 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:51.800 let's let's mess this situation up, Heather. How can you 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:53.480 do us the favorite next time you have a conversation 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:54.840 with the guy or just to go on a date, 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:56.640 can you like instagram live it so you can just 0:16:56.680 --> 0:17:02.400 go along you two in friends? Perfect? Yeah? So what 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:05.240 are your intentions with Heather? Would be like your big 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.680 brothers since you don't have any brothers. Perfect? I need 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:14.560 that for sure. Oh gosh um. Yeah, I honestly hate dating. 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.119 I think I've told you guys before, So, like I 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:19.800 don't just go on dates to date people ever, Like 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.400 that just sounds like miserable to me. So I mean, 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:24.440 I will date people if I feel like there could 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:26.480 be potential here, but just going on a date, just 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.119 just getting back out there, just like I just can't. 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:34.320 I just actually cannot. What's your least favorite part of dating? 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.280 I think I just hate I hate like just having 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.000 to say no to people, like because I think I 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.160 know pretty much like before like just talking to someone 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:44.880 for like five minutes if it's going to be yes 0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.400 or no, and so like saying yes to someone having 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:49.000 to go through a dinner and be like at the 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:51.879 end or whatever later I have to like actually know, 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:55.720 like that's just torture. Like I hate It's the worst. Yeah, 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:59.240 the first and I feel well, I feel like, uh, 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:01.520 you know, one, women have to do it more than men. 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.880 Uh and too obviously you're you're very pretty, so I'm 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:07.600 sure you've had to do it a lot more than 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.359 someone like myself has to do it in the past, 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:13.760 so I can only imagine. But everybody always says, like 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.359 when they ask like about bachelor, you know, is it 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:18.440 worse to break up with someone or is it worse 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:20.680 to be broken up with? And I feel like everybody 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.080 always says it's way worse to break up with someone 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:25.720 because then you have the guilt on your shoulders. Yeah, 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:28.320 it's just terrible. It's the worst. Yeah, I hate it 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:30.320 so much. I mean, being broken up with it can't 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:35.840 be fun either, but pretty pretty sucky. But yeah, it's terrible. 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:37.760 But we still don't know what happened with you, guys. 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.080 We don't know who broke up with you, and I 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:41.080 think you know what, let's live with a veil of 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:44.080 mystery over it, perhaps because maybe some things are better 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:47.280 left than them. Yeah, I agree, But if you want 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.680 to tell us we're all I think that it would 0:18:50.720 --> 0:18:52.719 be like probably a three our conversation if I went 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:55.280 into the details. I think we could. We could break 0:18:55.359 --> 0:19:01.080 up this podcast into like three segments. Well, we'll get um, 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:03.600 we'll get HBO involved, will make a mini series out 0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:19.119 of it. Perfect. All right, welcome back to Help I 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:22.399 Suck at Dating. We're gonna get into emails before we 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:26.520 wrap out this podcast, Dean's favorite part of the episode. 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:30.240 We have emails. Uh, Mark, I know you were there earlier. 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:32.280 I'm not sure if you're still here, but if you're 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.920 out in the Help I Suck At Dating Universe more, 0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:38.520 I'm excited to be here and I can't wait to 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:41.480 read these emails. Can I just have one question for you? Mark? 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:44.280 Very quickly? Yes, yes or no? On Aaron Rodgers, do 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:47.280 you want to back? Oh man, It's not as simple 0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:49.160 as that, but you know it's funny about a year 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:51.160 ago you said to me, like, what do you think 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:53.720 of your quarterbacks? And asshole and I was like, whoa, hey, 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.760 easy there. But now now the whole world knows that 0:19:56.760 --> 0:20:00.359 that is an accurate statement. Yes, yes, I was right. 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.080 It looks like he's coming back, so I'll say, let's 0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:08.480 bring him back. It doesn't look like dying in that camp. 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:12.600 And I think he's going back to Green Bay. Congratulations. 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:15.800 I haven't spoken to you since Dawson was born. To congratulations. 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:17.880 I hope everything's going well. And I think I love 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:20.240 the pictures on Instagram. I think you're a great dad. 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:23.480 It's gonna be really great. Nice Mark. I appreciate buddy. 0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:26.119 Good Buddy. This is anonymous. I got engaged, so the 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:29.320 best guy in the world on Christmas, and I'm planning 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:32.600 out wedding for my fiance is very laid back and 0:20:32.640 --> 0:20:34.960 doesn't have any major opinions on the wedding, but I 0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:39.240 want some male input. Jared, your wedding looked incredible. What 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:41.200 were the best parts and was there anything you would 0:20:41.200 --> 0:20:43.600 have done differently? Or don't think it's super important to 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:46.800 put energy or money into Dean and Heather. From your 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:53.840 perspective as a wedding guest, what makes a great wedding? Uh, 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:58.440 that's a good question. I do think our wedding was incredible. 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:04.159 I'm a little biased. I would say the best parts were, uh, 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:07.240 being surrounded by the people that we loved the most 0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:14.879 under one roof, because you know, yeah, here's Here's my 0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.280 point is that one of the hardest parts of the 0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:19.800 wedding is the guest list. So make sure that you 0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:22.320