WEBVTT - Jennifer Deluca: The Woman Making Sure No Veteran Heals Alone 0:00:17.101 --> 0:00:17.581 Bushkin. 0:00:25.781 --> 0:00:29.581 Hey everyone, it's j R. Martinez on Medal of Honor. 0:00:29.741 --> 0:00:31.941 We talk a lot about what our service men and 0:00:31.981 --> 0:00:35.861 women do overseas, but we spend less time talking about 0:00:35.861 --> 0:00:39.621 what happens when they come home. Some troops come home wounded. 0:00:40.260 --> 0:00:44.300 They need a series of surgeries, cancer treatments, long term 0:00:44.340 --> 0:00:47.581 medical care, and they can spend weeks to months to 0:00:47.700 --> 0:00:51.501 years in hospitals and cities far from their homes. And 0:00:51.581 --> 0:00:54.780 during that period they need a place to stay, but 0:00:54.901 --> 0:00:58.501 that can cost a fortune, making it almost impossible for 0:00:58.541 --> 0:01:01.981 them to receive the care that they need. That's where 0:01:02.060 --> 0:01:05.861 Jennifer Duluca comes in. For fifteen years, Jen has been 0:01:05.941 --> 0:01:10.221 running Fisherhouse Boston, a branch of the Fisher House Foundation. 0:01:11.181 --> 0:01:14.661 She pioneered a program that works with local hotels to 0:01:14.700 --> 0:01:18.421 get veterans and their families the housing they need and 0:01:18.500 --> 0:01:23.701 it doesn't cost a vet a dime. In twenty twenty three, 0:01:23.901 --> 0:01:27.981 Jen was awarded the Citizen Honors Service Act Award. It's 0:01:27.981 --> 0:01:31.861 one of the highest honors as civilian can receive, selected 0:01:31.901 --> 0:01:36.141 by WHO recipients of the Medal of Honor. I sat 0:01:36.181 --> 0:01:38.340 down with Jen to talk about her incredible work with 0:01:38.381 --> 0:01:41.861 our nation's veterans and their families. And while I learned 0:01:42.101 --> 0:01:45.301 she's been a fan of some of my work. More importantly, 0:01:45.821 --> 0:01:48.621 she learned I'm a huge fan of hers. 0:01:54.141 --> 0:01:56.101 Jin Welcome to the show. 0:01:56.541 --> 0:01:58.821 Thank you, thank you. How are you, Jr? 0:01:59.141 --> 0:02:00.541 I'm well, how are you doing? 0:02:00.701 --> 0:02:05.101 Good? Good? I can't believe I'm talking to Jesse's son 0:02:05.301 --> 0:02:08.541 from General Hospital. All our sun in line from all 0:02:08.661 --> 0:02:09.661 those years ago. 0:02:11.781 --> 0:02:13.221 Oh that's hilarious. 0:02:13.821 --> 0:02:16.581 That's been my big joke with all my girlfriends. I'm like, 0:02:16.781 --> 0:02:19.181 you have no idea who I'm talking dude. 0:02:19.301 --> 0:02:24.141 That is hilarious. I've never had anyone say it like that. 0:02:24.861 --> 0:02:27.701 I love that. Oh my god. 0:02:29.581 --> 0:02:31.501 Now listen. Then we're going to be straight up here. Okay, 0:02:31.501 --> 0:02:34.141 we're all about being vulnerable with each other and we're friends. 0:02:34.221 --> 0:02:36.301 Now right, you're a little nervous. Why are you a 0:02:36.341 --> 0:02:37.301 little nervous? 0:02:37.701 --> 0:02:42.821 I just hate talking about myself, and you know I'm shy. 0:02:43.021 --> 0:02:44.261 I'm shy. 0:02:44.901 --> 0:02:47.501 Well, the good thing is we are wanting to get 0:02:47.541 --> 0:02:50.501 to know you, but also the incredible work that you 0:02:50.581 --> 0:02:54.301 do at the Fisher House and for the listeners, can 0:02:54.341 --> 0:02:58.221 you describe what the Fisher House is and what it does? 0:02:59.261 --> 0:03:03.461 Sure, the Fisher House is a home away from home 0:03:03.661 --> 0:03:07.701 for military families when a loved one is ill or injured. 0:03:08.221 --> 0:03:12.621 There are one hundred Fisher Houses across the country right now. 0:03:13.341 --> 0:03:19.901 Fisher House Boston provides free lodging to military families that 0:03:19.941 --> 0:03:23.101 are coming to Boston to receive medical care. 0:03:24.301 --> 0:03:27.621 What's a typical case of someone you've helped, meaning from 0:03:28.061 --> 0:03:31.061 the moment that they reach out to you to the 0:03:31.101 --> 0:03:32.581 moment that they finish their treatment. 0:03:33.381 --> 0:03:38.421 So a typical day is a family will be seen 0:03:38.501 --> 0:03:42.421 at one of the major hospitals. One of the first 0:03:42.501 --> 0:03:46.341 questions the social workers or medical team will ask is 0:03:47.181 --> 0:03:51.501 are you military or have you served? The second they 0:03:51.541 --> 0:03:56.461 say yes, they give them our information and we step in. 0:03:57.221 --> 0:04:00.901 We have a nurse on staff that will then connect 0:04:00.941 --> 0:04:04.141 with the social work team. We will find out what 0:04:04.261 --> 0:04:07.341 their illness is, how long they're going to be here. 0:04:08.141 --> 0:04:11.341 Then we place them at the hotel or one of 0:04:11.381 --> 0:04:15.621 our apartments, which is right next to the medical facility 0:04:15.821 --> 0:04:21.020 that they're utilizing. They check in like a regular hotel, 0:04:21.820 --> 0:04:25.140 they never see a bill, and we stay in touch 0:04:25.221 --> 0:04:29.181 with them the entire time of the duration of their stay. 0:04:30.061 --> 0:04:31.341 That's beautiful. I love that. 0:04:31.741 --> 0:04:33.941 Not sure if you know this, I was injured in 0:04:34.021 --> 0:04:36.701 early of two thousand and three, shortly after the conflict 0:04:36.741 --> 0:04:40.901 in Iraq began, and my mother had to relocate of course, 0:04:41.181 --> 0:04:44.221 and was at the hospital by my side for the 0:04:44.261 --> 0:04:47.781 three months that I was initially in the hospital. And 0:04:48.301 --> 0:04:50.821 I've actually stayed at a Fisher House. My mother stayed 0:04:50.821 --> 0:04:52.661 at a Fisher House in San Antonio when I was 0:04:52.701 --> 0:04:55.301 recovering there. So I have a special place in my 0:04:55.341 --> 0:04:58.581 heart for the Fisher House Foundation. Like why is this 0:04:58.701 --> 0:05:03.061 so important for a veteran that's in treatment to have 0:05:03.181 --> 0:05:06.541 family close by? Like what have you found as far 0:05:06.581 --> 0:05:08.101 as like the clinical outcome? 0:05:08.181 --> 0:05:09.181 What impact does it have? 0:05:09.661 --> 0:05:13.381 Jr. It's unbelievable. I mean it's life changing. It can 0:05:13.501 --> 0:05:17.701 change the course of the outcome of someone's illness. Having 0:05:17.741 --> 0:05:22.181 a family member next to their loved one. It helps 0:05:22.221 --> 0:05:26.341 the hospital, it helps the healing process, and it helps 0:05:26.381 --> 0:05:30.181 the morale of the patient. No matter what age you are, 0:05:31.101 --> 0:05:33.701 they were there for us. We need to be there 0:05:33.741 --> 0:05:37.341 for them. And I will tell you when I speak 0:05:37.381 --> 0:05:41.741 about what we do, so many people say, I never 0:05:41.821 --> 0:05:45.380 thought about what happens when the military gets sick, when 0:05:45.381 --> 0:05:49.541 they're out. I never thought about them being in the hospital. 0:05:49.581 --> 0:05:52.661 What the cost could be to get the correct care 0:05:53.301 --> 0:05:57.621 if they had to travel from Washington State to Boston 0:05:58.221 --> 0:06:02.341 for the specialized treatment. Then you come here and you 0:06:02.461 --> 0:06:07.020 face hotels at seven hundred dollars a night and either 0:06:07.221 --> 0:06:10.781 they're saying we're going to go on hospice or the 0:06:11.021 --> 0:06:14.141 sleeping in their cars because they can't afford it. So 0:06:15.221 --> 0:06:18.661 it's very, very important for the community to step in 0:06:18.781 --> 0:06:22.541 and get together and take care of these military members 0:06:22.581 --> 0:06:26.061 that were there for us because their families need them. 0:06:26.141 --> 0:06:29.661 Now, what made you get into this work? 0:06:29.981 --> 0:06:34.421 So Jr. I have always done things taking care of people. 0:06:34.861 --> 0:06:37.741 I was brought up that way. I'm the youngest of five. 0:06:38.661 --> 0:06:42.141 It's just what we were taught you're supposed to do. 0:06:42.861 --> 0:06:48.141 So I was working at a behavioral house taking care 0:06:48.181 --> 0:06:52.381 of children. I left that and decided to do something 0:06:52.661 --> 0:06:58.820 polar opposite, So I opened a landscape company. Up came 0:06:58.981 --> 0:07:02.941 the bids to do the yard design for the Fisher 0:07:03.021 --> 0:07:06.861 House being built in West Roxbury. So we put the 0:07:06.941 --> 0:07:11.981 design in. We won the bid and I designed the 0:07:12.141 --> 0:07:16.101 backyard for the Fisher House in West Roxbury. But why 0:07:16.141 --> 0:07:19.461 it was being built by the crews. I would sit 0:07:19.541 --> 0:07:23.661 on the patio and talk to all the families, and 0:07:24.301 --> 0:07:28.501 my father was a marine. When I was little, if 0:07:28.541 --> 0:07:32.741 we saw someone in uniform, my father would walk me 0:07:32.861 --> 0:07:36.181 over to them and say, shake his hand and thank him. 0:07:36.701 --> 0:07:40.501 I was taught from a very young age that somebody 0:07:40.541 --> 0:07:44.421 in uniform has raised their hand and said they would 0:07:44.461 --> 0:07:47.941 die for you, show them the respect that they deserve. 0:07:48.821 --> 0:07:52.541 It was just a natural transition to go from what 0:07:52.661 --> 0:07:58.341 I feel intrinsically to putting it to motion and helping 0:07:58.621 --> 0:08:02.381 military families. I never thought I would be where I 0:08:02.421 --> 0:08:07.541 am today, saving our military thirteen million dollars in the 0:08:07.861 --> 0:08:13.301 twelve years we've run it chain needed cause. So it's 0:08:13.341 --> 0:08:16.581 a privilege to be able to work with our military 0:08:16.661 --> 0:08:18.261 families and carry that name. 0:08:19.061 --> 0:08:22.381 Yeah, now, I love that, and it's it's so true. 0:08:22.501 --> 0:08:22.661 You know. 0:08:22.701 --> 0:08:26.981 I often challenge people. You know, we're so conditioned to 0:08:27.021 --> 0:08:29.261 say thank you for your service, and even though on 0:08:29.301 --> 0:08:32.101 the surface that's very beautiful to be able to acknowledge 0:08:32.141 --> 0:08:35.621 what someone has done, you don't really necessarily truly know 0:08:36.021 --> 0:08:39.660 what you're acknowledging, right, And so what I encourage people 0:08:39.701 --> 0:08:42.901 to do instead is to replace thank you for your 0:08:42.940 --> 0:08:47.821 service with tell me about your service. That to me 0:08:48.141 --> 0:08:50.780 speaks to what you did while the crews were back 0:08:50.780 --> 0:08:53.780 there working on you know, the backyard and the layout, 0:08:54.180 --> 0:08:56.660 and you're sitting on that front porch talking to these 0:08:57.021 --> 0:09:00.901 service members and their families. What did you learn that 0:09:01.261 --> 0:09:04.980 made you realize, as a civilian, I want to be 0:09:05.021 --> 0:09:05.740 connected to this. 0:09:06.300 --> 0:09:10.461 It was honestly a privilege from the moment I walked 0:09:10.501 --> 0:09:14.501 through though those doors to meet these families, to hear 0:09:14.621 --> 0:09:17.821 what they had been through, and to know that we 0:09:17.981 --> 0:09:22.381 could make a difference, whether it's small or big, to 0:09:22.580 --> 0:09:25.300 change the course of their life going forward. 0:09:26.141 --> 0:09:28.780 I think a lot of people tend to overthink it, right, Yeah, 0:09:28.820 --> 0:09:31.940 we tend to get caught up in the narrative that, well, 0:09:32.141 --> 0:09:34.461 what do I offer? What do I bring to the table? 0:09:35.021 --> 0:09:37.541 What do you say to those people when they're wondering 0:09:37.861 --> 0:09:40.340 I'd love to get involved. I buy into it the 0:09:40.420 --> 0:09:43.821 fact that it's a responsibility, But what do I do? 0:09:44.660 --> 0:09:49.660 You have to show up. You have to appreciate the 0:09:49.700 --> 0:09:53.780 life you live and not look for the negative. I 0:09:53.820 --> 0:09:58.701 am the incredible optimist. I know you have to believe 0:09:58.780 --> 0:10:01.221 everything's going to be okay and life is going to 0:10:01.221 --> 0:10:04.901 be good. And so many people, like you said, get 0:10:04.981 --> 0:10:10.101 caught up in what's going on and correct things to answer, 0:10:10.341 --> 0:10:13.461 and you just have to show up for each other. 0:10:13.820 --> 0:10:17.421 And that's the truth. So you said, thank you for 0:10:17.460 --> 0:10:20.461 your service. I have to share a great story. I 0:10:20.660 --> 0:10:26.780 had the privilege of meeting General Maddis and I was 0:10:26.861 --> 0:10:29.780 so nervous before meeting him, and I said, thank you 0:10:29.820 --> 0:10:35.101 for your service, sir, and he said, you're worth it. Oh, 0:10:35.141 --> 0:10:39.660 And it stopped me and he said, now, Jen, you 0:10:39.741 --> 0:10:43.461 see lots of people through your line of work. When 0:10:43.501 --> 0:10:47.021 you thank someone, if they say you're welcome, I want 0:10:47.060 --> 0:10:50.421 you to tell them this story. And I tell every 0:10:50.460 --> 0:10:54.660 military member I meet to say to somebody that says 0:10:54.700 --> 0:10:55.821 that you're worth it. 0:10:56.460 --> 0:10:59.860 When you said that, I literally, and I'm not exaggerating here, 0:11:00.341 --> 0:11:03.540 I literally felt like I had to like take a 0:11:03.580 --> 0:11:06.181 deep breath like it. I mean, it makes you think, 0:11:06.221 --> 0:11:09.141 it makes you feel something different. It definitely carries a 0:11:09.180 --> 0:11:11.981 different way to that I'm gonna have to use that 0:11:12.901 --> 0:11:15.621 you do. That's the perfect response right there. Thank you 0:11:15.660 --> 0:11:18.540 for sharing that story. It's funny how you said you 0:11:18.540 --> 0:11:21.261 were shy. Yeah, you ain't shy, Jen, I feel like 0:11:21.300 --> 0:11:29.501 we could talk for hours and hosting this podcast. That's 0:11:29.501 --> 0:11:32.420 one of the things I've identified is that we're telling 0:11:32.460 --> 0:11:35.620 these stories of these incredible individuals that did something that 0:11:36.101 --> 0:11:39.460 most of us can't even fathom, and it's easy to 0:11:39.460 --> 0:11:41.981 put them on a pedestal, and again, they deserve to 0:11:41.981 --> 0:11:45.621 be up there, right, Those individuals in a moment, they 0:11:45.621 --> 0:11:48.461 didn't know what the outcome would be. They just kept 0:11:48.540 --> 0:11:52.141 showing up, right. They didn't have to have all the answers. 0:11:52.420 --> 0:11:55.261 They just went with what they had. They just brought 0:11:55.300 --> 0:11:59.141 themselves and they just kept showing up. That's a beautiful 0:11:59.180 --> 0:12:02.180 reminder to everybody that's listening, whether you've served or not, 0:12:03.021 --> 0:12:26.021 no matter what you're navigating in life, keep showing up. Well, Jen, listen, 0:12:26.060 --> 0:12:28.420 I'm gonna ask you a straight up question now, when 0:12:28.460 --> 0:12:31.461 these families are showing up, are you trying to convert 0:12:31.501 --> 0:12:35.101 them to be like Celtics fans and Ruin fans? And 0:12:35.940 --> 0:12:37.820 I mean, are you trying a Red Sox fan? Are 0:12:37.861 --> 0:12:40.501 you trying to convert them to be Boston fans? 0:12:40.580 --> 0:12:40.700 Like? 0:12:40.741 --> 0:12:42.580 What do you do? I know you guys always trying 0:12:42.621 --> 0:12:43.740 to work on angle up there. 0:12:44.180 --> 0:12:47.540 Yeah, so everyone knows the Patriots and the Bruins are 0:12:47.580 --> 0:12:51.101 the best, so they just immediate and Celtics, you know, 0:12:51.221 --> 0:12:54.580 so they just automatically want to be part of our 0:12:54.660 --> 0:12:55.540 family with that. 0:12:55.861 --> 0:12:59.940 But I think that's one of the things. 0:12:59.940 --> 0:13:02.501 Like when I was in San Antonio recovering, like, you know, 0:13:02.580 --> 0:13:04.940 they would give me a hard time, right, I'd come 0:13:04.981 --> 0:13:06.980 out of a surgery and I'd wake up and then 0:13:07.660 --> 0:13:09.540 you know, the staff would prank me and they would 0:13:09.540 --> 0:13:13.300 literally decorate my room with spurs gear and I'm. 0:13:13.141 --> 0:13:15.381 Like, oh, like, what are you guys doing? Like why 0:13:15.420 --> 0:13:16.381 are you guys doing this to me? 0:13:16.460 --> 0:13:18.741 And it was just one of those fun, little banter 0:13:18.901 --> 0:13:21.261 things that just sort of kind of allowed you to 0:13:21.300 --> 0:13:23.021 have a little bit of an escape, if you will. 0:13:23.341 --> 0:13:29.420 So I will share our apartments. The three apartments were 0:13:29.940 --> 0:13:34.621 decorated and all the furniture donated by the New England Patriots. 0:13:34.660 --> 0:13:38.700 They have been an unbelievable partner. So I do get 0:13:38.820 --> 0:13:40.980 quite a bit when I put a family in one 0:13:41.021 --> 0:13:44.861 of our apartments. They joke with, Okay, we'll be a 0:13:44.901 --> 0:13:48.820 Patriots fan for this amount of time because all the 0:13:48.861 --> 0:13:53.381 pictures on the walls are the Patriots, So we do 0:13:53.621 --> 0:13:55.940 force them to be Patriots fans. 0:13:56.060 --> 0:13:59.741 But that's not a bad thing. That's not a bad thing. 0:13:59.940 --> 0:14:02.980 Get up there and enjoy that culture, you know, Our 0:14:03.021 --> 0:14:07.540 show focuses on stories of courage, and we're often talking 0:14:07.580 --> 0:14:10.100 about that courage that takes place on the battlefield. 0:14:11.300 --> 0:14:13.780 What kind of courage do you see in the people 0:14:13.820 --> 0:14:14.580 that you work with? 0:14:17.700 --> 0:14:22.701 Just incredible from diagnosis that they are given and how 0:14:22.741 --> 0:14:28.901 they have to stay strong for both their family and themselves. 0:14:30.061 --> 0:14:32.341 J Are there things that would send you and I 0:14:32.621 --> 0:14:37.100 into tears in our bed for hours and they're standing up, 0:14:37.861 --> 0:14:42.581 showing up for their loved ones and everyone around them. 0:14:43.261 --> 0:14:46.381 I'll tell you. General John Kelly is a good friend, 0:14:46.981 --> 0:14:51.341 and we dedicated the garden in West Roxbury to General 0:14:51.460 --> 0:14:57.141 Kelly's son who was killed in action. And one day 0:14:57.221 --> 0:15:02.661 I was walking with John and I started crying about 0:15:02.701 --> 0:15:06.901 one of our families, just simple tears coming down. And 0:15:07.341 --> 0:15:09.781 John put his hand on my arm and he gave 0:15:09.861 --> 0:15:13.621 me the best of and he said, Jen, you can 0:15:13.701 --> 0:15:18.301 never cry with the family. You're here to support them. 0:15:18.781 --> 0:15:21.901 If you're crying, they're going to turn around and take 0:15:21.941 --> 0:15:26.141 care of you. Now, Jr. If you know me, I 0:15:26.381 --> 0:15:30.021 cry at the drop of a hat. So it is 0:15:30.261 --> 0:15:34.901 very hard for me to stay in a place with 0:15:35.021 --> 0:15:39.221 these families because when you hear that, you know we've 0:15:39.261 --> 0:15:42.141 been married fifty years and we're going to celebrate our 0:15:42.181 --> 0:15:47.261 anniversary in the hospital why he fights leukemia. Talking to 0:15:47.421 --> 0:15:51.421 the veteran that calls and says, hey, I'm making this 0:15:51.541 --> 0:15:54.980 call for my wife. I know you can't help me. 0:15:55.821 --> 0:15:58.741 I'm just going to go on hospice. I need to 0:15:58.861 --> 0:16:02.901 leave her financially sound, and if we come to Boston, 0:16:03.381 --> 0:16:05.901 I won't be able to. And then I get to 0:16:05.941 --> 0:16:10.021 pop in and say, sir, you're coming to Boston. I've 0:16:10.021 --> 0:16:12.581 got you covered. We're going to get you here, and 0:16:12.621 --> 0:16:15.181 we're going to take care of your stay. And just 0:16:15.381 --> 0:16:19.781 knowing the difference we're making, there's nothing you can feel 0:16:19.781 --> 0:16:23.141 but pride. And that is a true story. And he 0:16:23.301 --> 0:16:27.741 is still living today. It's just across the board a 0:16:27.901 --> 0:16:33.740 lesson every day because they are strong when they're seeing me. 0:16:34.501 --> 0:16:38.541 They're in that space that they are allowed to come 0:16:38.621 --> 0:16:42.740 down and cry and share the worst of what's going 0:16:42.821 --> 0:16:46.461 on or the best of what's going on. So I 0:16:46.501 --> 0:16:50.860 look at these families in awe at what they are shouldering, 0:16:51.301 --> 0:16:55.141 what they are handling for their loved one. And I 0:16:55.221 --> 0:16:58.541 will say, the military don't want to ask for anything. 0:16:58.781 --> 0:17:01.021 Yeah, we don't ask for help. We don't. 0:17:01.341 --> 0:17:04.421 And you hear of these Medal of Honor recipients who 0:17:05.301 --> 0:17:08.381 come home and they struggle, right, They struggle. They struggle 0:17:08.421 --> 0:17:12.181 asking for help, They struggle with vulnerable you know, they 0:17:12.221 --> 0:17:17.581 struggle with how to build that community outside of that 0:17:17.701 --> 0:17:22.781 military environment. And when you have people like yourself that 0:17:22.861 --> 0:17:26.301 are doing what they're doing, it just helps a service 0:17:26.341 --> 0:17:29.221 member slowly start to believe that they can ask for help. 0:17:29.701 --> 0:17:33.541 The younger generation, I will say, is more apt to 0:17:33.621 --> 0:17:38.781 reach out, whereas the Korean and Vietnam vets, they're the 0:17:38.781 --> 0:17:42.461 ones that when I say, sir, I've got you, the 0:17:42.501 --> 0:17:47.381 phone goes quiet, and I know they're crying, so I 0:17:47.501 --> 0:17:50.021 have to give them a few minutes. Yeah, and then 0:17:50.061 --> 0:17:52.901 they come back and they say, ma'am, no one's ever 0:17:52.941 --> 0:17:56.381 done anything like this for me. I had a veteran say, 0:17:56.461 --> 0:17:59.821 we helped his wife who has leukemia and she was 0:17:59.901 --> 0:18:04.541 here for over two hundred days in the hospital receiving care. 0:18:05.021 --> 0:18:08.621 And he was a United States Marine and he said, 0:18:09.101 --> 0:18:12.781 in all the years and all the service, this is 0:18:12.821 --> 0:18:15.901 the greatest gift he has ever gotten back and the 0:18:15.941 --> 0:18:22.221 first time he ever felt respected. Wow, And that's huge. 0:18:22.341 --> 0:18:22.541 You know. 0:18:22.581 --> 0:18:25.621 I often refer to the nearly three years that I 0:18:25.661 --> 0:18:28.701 spent in the hospital recovering. When I actually sat down 0:18:28.861 --> 0:18:31.340 to write my book and I got into the section 0:18:31.421 --> 0:18:35.341 about my recovery, and I called my best friend and 0:18:36.061 --> 0:18:39.221 I said, Man, is it weird that as I'm referring 0:18:39.781 --> 0:18:42.580 and thinking about the time in the hospital, like I 0:18:42.661 --> 0:18:46.100 actually feel like I miss it. And he said, no, 0:18:46.181 --> 0:18:48.941 it's not weird, Jr. He's like, that's a reflection of 0:18:49.021 --> 0:18:51.181 the people that took care of you, the people that 0:18:51.221 --> 0:18:53.741 were there. And it was one of those moments where 0:18:53.781 --> 0:18:57.021 I was like, Oh, that's so true. They weren't just 0:18:57.701 --> 0:19:00.301 the team that took care of me, whether the physician 0:19:00.621 --> 0:19:05.101 or the social worker or the volunteer. They were my friends. 0:19:06.021 --> 0:19:07.821 They were my extended family. 0:19:08.661 --> 0:19:12.501 I get that because we have families that the husband 0:19:12.661 --> 0:19:16.221 or wife cannot come the whole time. And that's when 0:19:16.261 --> 0:19:18.461 we pop in and say, you know, is there anything 0:19:18.501 --> 0:19:21.141 you need? Is there any you know there's another family 0:19:21.581 --> 0:19:24.661 staying down the hall. Would you like to connect with them? 0:19:24.901 --> 0:19:28.781 And you make a community of support, And that's what 0:19:28.861 --> 0:19:33.860 it's all about. Even after we've put families up for 0:19:34.101 --> 0:19:39.221 three hundred days, you know, sometimes they don't think to 0:19:39.341 --> 0:19:43.301 come back and think about what kept them here. But 0:19:44.101 --> 0:19:49.661 I will tell you. On Thanksgiving, my text message chain 0:19:49.941 --> 0:19:54.141 fills up with messages from people saying thank you. 0:19:55.341 --> 0:19:57.340 But then, what do you do for yourself? How do 0:19:57.421 --> 0:20:01.541 you keep showing up? Because it takes an emotional toll. 0:20:02.181 --> 0:20:05.701 I mean, you become connected, invested in all of these 0:20:05.701 --> 0:20:09.140 families that you are around. What do you and what 0:20:09.221 --> 0:20:13.181 does the team do for themselves in order to keep 0:20:13.381 --> 0:20:15.101 showing up the way that you guys do. 0:20:16.941 --> 0:20:20.781 That's a great question. So I asked myself that question. 0:20:20.861 --> 0:20:23.981 I've been doing this sixteen years now, so I had 0:20:24.021 --> 0:20:29.021 gone a long time without realizing the toll that it 0:20:29.101 --> 0:20:33.340 was putting on me. Because when you hear so many 0:20:33.381 --> 0:20:38.061 sad stories, you hold them, you hold them in your heart. 0:20:38.901 --> 0:20:43.221 So this is a mission of love, I would say. 0:20:44.061 --> 0:20:46.981 And I'm going to circle this back to courage and 0:20:47.061 --> 0:20:53.101 being courageous because when I decided to start this program, 0:20:53.661 --> 0:20:56.981 I didn't know at the time if the foundation would 0:20:57.021 --> 0:21:01.981 even allow me to do this, But I had facts 0:21:02.221 --> 0:21:05.701 that there were military families that were sleeping in their cars. 0:21:06.501 --> 0:21:08.901 What are we supposed to do turn our back on 0:21:08.941 --> 0:21:12.261 them and pretend we don't know the this is happening now. 0:21:12.821 --> 0:21:17.661 So it took a lot of courage to put this together, 0:21:18.501 --> 0:21:21.580 know that it was crazy because we'd have to raise 0:21:21.661 --> 0:21:25.901 the funds to do this, and then it all just 0:21:26.021 --> 0:21:31.981 worked out. My son is in it, and early on 0:21:32.101 --> 0:21:38.301 he was volunteld that he would do this. Now he 0:21:38.341 --> 0:21:41.981 loves it and he loves being part of it because 0:21:42.061 --> 0:21:46.021 he gets to meet the military members that we help. 0:21:46.581 --> 0:21:50.141 I mentioned earlier that we have a nurse that does 0:21:50.781 --> 0:21:54.621 all of the medical intakes. That is my daughter, who 0:21:54.741 --> 0:22:00.101 I stole from her bedside nursing job after five years 0:22:00.621 --> 0:22:04.581 and said I need you on my team because they 0:22:04.701 --> 0:22:08.541 grew up with this idea. They saw me have the 0:22:08.621 --> 0:22:12.501 light bulb go off and say I need to do something. 0:22:13.061 --> 0:22:17.221 So this is a true family love. My daughter met 0:22:17.261 --> 0:22:21.901 her husband through the Fisher House Boston. He's an army guy, 0:22:22.101 --> 0:22:25.861 and unlike other jobs where you check out at the 0:22:25.981 --> 0:22:28.621 end of the day and you go home, we've have 0:22:28.781 --> 0:22:32.461 days that we put in sixteen hours sitting taking care 0:22:32.501 --> 0:22:35.580 of families. We never look at it as a job. 0:22:36.701 --> 0:22:41.541 When we talk about self care. We're family, so we 0:22:41.701 --> 0:22:45.741 talk and there's never really a cutoff time. At ten 0:22:45.741 --> 0:22:48.821 o'clock at night, Abigail can call me and say we 0:22:49.021 --> 0:22:52.021 just got a call. A man's coming in for a transplant. 0:22:52.021 --> 0:22:56.301 There medflighting him tomorrow morning. We're talking all the time 0:22:56.381 --> 0:22:59.741 about the families that need help, why the rest of 0:22:59.781 --> 0:23:00.941 the country is sleeping. 0:23:01.981 --> 0:23:04.620 So you guys turn out to be each other's support 0:23:04.661 --> 0:23:08.341 system absolutely, where you guys convent with one another's, share 0:23:08.341 --> 0:23:10.701 with one another, be there to support one another. 0:23:10.781 --> 0:23:13.341 Year you understand each other. That is beautiful. 0:23:13.381 --> 0:23:17.141 I love I love how you know the connection there 0:23:17.461 --> 0:23:20.261 and the ripple effect from the work and the way 0:23:20.261 --> 0:23:22.541 that you've shown up. You know, I'm a father, I 0:23:22.581 --> 0:23:24.701 have two kids. You know, you always get the question 0:23:24.741 --> 0:23:27.221 of like, which kid do you love the most right 0:23:27.541 --> 0:23:29.501 and as a parent, you can't really answer that question. 0:23:29.501 --> 0:23:31.901 You're like, I love them all equally. It's just but 0:23:32.781 --> 0:23:35.461 I get the impression that you're kind of like the 0:23:35.501 --> 0:23:38.301 mother for all of these you know, patients that come 0:23:38.341 --> 0:23:39.501 through and go through. 0:23:39.661 --> 0:23:40.741 You know your process. 0:23:41.381 --> 0:23:46.181 But is there one specific family or veteran whose story 0:23:46.581 --> 0:23:49.580 has stayed with you over the years. 0:23:50.501 --> 0:23:55.301 So I will tell you, honestly, every story touches me 0:23:55.381 --> 0:24:00.901 in a different way. You have children that have something 0:24:00.941 --> 0:24:05.141 called hypoplastic left heart syndrome. They are in the hospital 0:24:05.261 --> 0:24:09.501 for a long, long time, you get to know those 0:24:09.581 --> 0:24:13.661 families very well. Well. You know, I sit there and 0:24:13.701 --> 0:24:16.301 I cry with them, and I hold their hand and 0:24:16.341 --> 0:24:20.021 I support them. They are the same as the stem 0:24:20.141 --> 0:24:24.941 cell families that are coming through. It really is just 0:24:25.101 --> 0:24:29.661 like my son and daughter. Each family has changed my 0:24:29.781 --> 0:24:37.981 life in some way, and they really have. They come 0:24:38.021 --> 0:24:42.941 to you when they have fear, uncertainty, They have no 0:24:43.101 --> 0:24:47.261 idea how they're going to do this. I believe all 0:24:47.341 --> 0:24:50.901 they should focus on is their loved one and let 0:24:50.981 --> 0:24:55.541 me take care of the rest. I couldn't say I 0:24:55.621 --> 0:24:59.661 have a favorite, because they all have truly touched me 0:25:00.101 --> 0:25:01.501 and left me with something. 0:25:03.621 --> 0:25:16.061 I believe you. I believe you. 0:25:19.501 --> 0:25:19.580 So. 0:25:19.741 --> 0:25:19.941 Jen. 0:25:20.221 --> 0:25:25.101 Three years ago, in twenty twenty three, you, my friend, 0:25:25.181 --> 0:25:29.901 received the Citizen's Honors Service Act Medal. What did it 0:25:30.021 --> 0:25:33.181 mean for you to be recognized by Medal of Honor 0:25:33.221 --> 0:25:35.741 recipients for your service. 0:25:37.061 --> 0:25:41.340 Other than my children? The absolute greatest honor I have 0:25:41.421 --> 0:25:45.061 ever received. You know, I've been involved with the Medal 0:25:45.101 --> 0:25:47.861 of Honor for a long time. The Medal of Honor 0:25:47.901 --> 0:25:50.981 hosts a convention every year, and I would be the 0:25:51.021 --> 0:25:54.301 first to raise my hand to sit on the committee 0:25:54.341 --> 0:25:56.941