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Speaker 1: Quick little note before we start the show. If you're

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Speaker 1: not aware, we did two shows in Pennsylvania in December

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Speaker 1: and one in Pittsburgh one in Philly, and we basically said, look,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna do the same show, and whichever crowd brings

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Speaker 1: it more louder and more enthusiastic, that's the one that

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Speaker 1: we'll release. So this was a big Philly versus Pittsburgh thing,

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Speaker 1: and I mean, you're probably aware of who won because

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Speaker 1: you've seen the title, but it was Philadelphia, and it

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Speaker 1: was Philadelphia by a mile Pittsburgh. I love you, Thank

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Speaker 1: you to everyone who came out in Pittsburgh. But Philly,

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Speaker 1: you'll listen, you'll hear, you'll know, and you'll just be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Philly went ape shit crazy and Pittsburgh you were wonderful

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Speaker 1: and we love to come back. I'm such a shit

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Speaker 1: eating make everybody feel good. But Philadelphia really did they

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Speaker 1: blew They blew the roof off, and honestly, it's the

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Speaker 1: loudest show we've ever done. It hurt my ears repeatedly.

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Speaker 2: It was far.

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Speaker 1: Louder than Tacoma, when I didn't even think that was possible.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, enjoy this raucous episode of Live Bananas. Scott

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Speaker 1: you running ooh hurts, I am ready a lot. It's true.

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Speaker 1: Tiny fir tree found growing in man's lungs.

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Speaker 2: That's the end.

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Speaker 3: Yep oh, Christmas tree. We're gonna throw the holly on

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Speaker 3: the fire on this brand new live episode from Helium

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Speaker 3: Comedy Club in Philadelphia.

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Speaker 4: On Bananas Your mind sillion pieces.

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Speaker 5: Thanks, holy smokes, guys, guys, gals, don binary pals.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Banana's Life for Philly.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Pittsburgh. I cannot imagine if Pittsburgh beat you, guys.

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine. This is like it's almost overwhelming.

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Speaker 2: Like I like it.

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Speaker 1: I like it.

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Speaker 2: I think it's cool.

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Speaker 1: A panic attack.

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Speaker 2: We're happy to be.

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Speaker 1: This is wonderful. Last night we walked around Philly. We

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Speaker 1: had some drinks.

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Speaker 2: We sure did. There.

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Speaker 1: We were outside of a Happy Rooster.

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Speaker 2: Happy Rooster, very banana style bar.

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Speaker 1: I love. It's a very fascinating bar because it's like

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Speaker 1: a little bit like it's inside. It's pretty. It's like

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Speaker 1: a kind of a dive bar, but it's kind of nice.

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Speaker 1: But then everyone is wearing suits, and it's like, why

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Speaker 1: does everyone have suits on at this bar? Very strange,

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Speaker 1: and we were just having a drink outside because it

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Speaker 1: was less crowded. Yeah, and there was a woman.

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Speaker 3: Correct, What was your first impression when you saw her

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Speaker 3: walk up?

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Speaker 2: Well, she had clothes on.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, she had like leather high heels with a metal

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Speaker 3: like four inch s to letto heel.

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Speaker 1: Super crazy shoes.

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Speaker 3: And then there's like a bouncer and a group of

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Speaker 3: people around, and then one guy turns to another, God goes,

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Speaker 3: I told you she.

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Speaker 2: Come back, and then we knew we were in for it.

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Speaker 3: And we were probably like four feet from this entire

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Speaker 3: very close. She's as she's walking down the street, you

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Speaker 3: could tell she is hand.

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Speaker 2: The drunkest woman I've ever.

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Speaker 1: Seen, but like I definitely think it's drunkest woman I

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Speaker 1: ever seen, but like very well dressed and kind of

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Speaker 1: like crazy crazily dressed.

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Speaker 3: But it was it was money. There was money, herring

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Speaker 3: bone sort of on the cool coat. She looked cool,

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Speaker 3: but then she was drunk.

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Speaker 1: And you could tell. And like any good bouncer, he

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Speaker 1: was just like, you're two words, but he wasn't gonna

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Speaker 1: let her into the bar. She was obviously already like

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Speaker 1: slurring her words. And then she goes like from a

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Speaker 1: zero within I don't know.

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Speaker 3: One second, one second, Yeah, goes so ape shit and

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Speaker 3: starts screaming in his face.

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Speaker 1: In his face, and then other people come out of

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Speaker 1: the bar. She starts screaming at them. Yeah, she's like

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Speaker 1: she's so to some random guy walking by, he's like,

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Speaker 1: this fucking drug dealer here, ye, drug dealing and he

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Speaker 1: like and then Scott it I realized, like we think

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Speaker 1: he is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we think she was right. He was a drug

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Speaker 2: because he was the psch.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get out of here.

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Speaker 2: All this close enough.

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Speaker 3: But she's like you motherfuckers, you let me in, and

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Speaker 3: then just yelling like fuck fuck.

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Speaker 1: Oh so mad. And then and then it was so good.

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Speaker 1: And then cops pulled up. Then the police came, but

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Speaker 1: then the cops the cops just sat there. Oh.

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Speaker 2: But then she's like, I know him, I know him.

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Speaker 3: Just watched her be like like just like verbally assaulting

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Speaker 3: everyone around her.

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Speaker 2: It was incredible.

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Speaker 1: And we're just sitting there laughing and laughing. And then

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Speaker 1: everybody at the bar starts like laughing at her. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and she's still she starts like calling everybody name, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the seaword. Oh yeah. She starts with the sea.

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Speaker 3: Words she escalated to other words escalated to other words

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Speaker 3: pretty quickly, pretty quick, And at that point I was like.

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Speaker 1: The cops should maybe tell her to chill the fuck out. Yeah, no, no,

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Speaker 1: let her go.

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Speaker 3: Literally sitting in a car thirteen inches from her, yes,

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Speaker 3: just watching her do.

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Speaker 1: All of this, it was wild. This was probably I

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Speaker 1: don't know, thirty full minutes. Yeah, it was screaming.

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Speaker 2: The theater of life.

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Speaker 3: Kurt and I just shrank and we're like, well, what's

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Speaker 3: And she'd walk away, and then she'd come right back,

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Speaker 3: guns blazing, and she walked. So the cop finally gets

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Speaker 3: out of his car and she walks right up to

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Speaker 3: and she goes, I know, sergeant, and then she forgot

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Speaker 3: the guy's name. So he's like okay, and she's like,

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Speaker 3: I know, sergeant, these guys are and then he's like no.

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Speaker 3: And the guys, the people at the bar were just like,

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Speaker 3: we don't know her, get her out of here. Oh man,

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Speaker 3: she said words I've never heard said before. She was

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Speaker 3: the worst white woman in the world. Oh yeah, you

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Speaker 3: knew that.

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Speaker 1: You knew she was www dot BadNews dot and it's

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Speaker 1: worst white woman in the world. That's the www dot

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Speaker 1: BadNews dot Com.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a good night. It was fun.

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Speaker 3: But yes, you guys, there is a way to talk

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Speaker 3: at a bar without yelling at each other.

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Speaker 2: It is possible. You keep you keep tonight, Yeah tonight.

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Speaker 2: We're good with it.

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Speaker 1: All right here it is guy? You ready?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, let's get into it.

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Speaker 1: This was sent in uh, thank you by Mike Brown.

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Speaker 1: Thank you very much.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Mike Brown.

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Speaker 3: If you're here, that's for you, Mike, hold on a

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Speaker 3: little longer, stay with us, Mike.

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Speaker 1: This is This is an old one that's a classic banana.

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Speaker 1: This is from two thousand and nine. This was in

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Speaker 1: the BBC. That's real, and I would just like to

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Speaker 1: show you in two thousand and nine. I don't, I don't.

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Speaker 1: The British took a while to understand the World Wide

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Speaker 1: Web SAUS. This is two thousand and nine, so it

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Speaker 1: looks like an angel Fire site from like nineteen ninety nine.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: This was the BBC's Wessa yeah boy for those of

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Speaker 1: you us to get home. It's blue and and hot green.

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Speaker 2: It looks like the back of a kool Aid container.

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Speaker 1: The words are all in bright yellow.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 3: Also, you guys can take pictures. We don't care. It's

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Speaker 3: Telly five. You could take pictures, you could take cool boomerangs.

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Speaker 3: Put it on TikTok. We got through the offensive art.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy. So what's crazy is that this page seems

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Speaker 1: like frozen. They just froze it in time. They didn't

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Speaker 1: like move it over to their new format because on

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Speaker 1: the side, as other stories, just as Toy Story three

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Speaker 1: is on its way, says.

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Speaker 3: Hank, good movie, the best one. And then this picture

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Speaker 3: is so fucking upsetting.

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Speaker 1: G I mean, like, don't look.

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Speaker 2: It looks like a colon.

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Speaker 3: Oh I was thinking, Oh, okay, a snooter. What do

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Speaker 3: you think I was thinking a snooter?

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Speaker 1: It's a snooter. Yeah. So, tiny fir tree found in

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Speaker 1: man's lungs. This is a picture of the fur tree

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Speaker 1: coming out of the man's lungs. Oh, very upsetting. Oh.

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Speaker 1: A man in Russia has amazed doctors after the found

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Speaker 1: a tiny fur tree growing in his lung. Ardium sidorkin, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it does happen to the first time I'm saying it

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Speaker 1: out loud, it's it does happen to the sidorcans. I

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Speaker 1: bet you it sounds better in Russian. Yes, Ardium sidorkin.

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Speaker 1: Guess started getting strong chest paints, and he thought something

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Speaker 1: was seriously wrong with him and just took X rays

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Speaker 1: and spotted what looked like a cancerous growth one of

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Speaker 1: his lungs. So he had a routine operation to get

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Speaker 1: it out. But it actually turned out to be a

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Speaker 1: tiny fur tree, okay, although it's not clear how it

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Speaker 1: got there, no shit, Yeah, tough, tough, five centimeter tall

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Speaker 1: fur tree appeared to be growing inside him. So five

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Speaker 1: centimeters like that, right, two centimeters per inch.

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Speaker 3: Or two centimeters so that I have a joke, I'd

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Speaker 3: say plenty, plenty. I do have a joke, and so

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Speaker 3: I do know a five point one inch dick.

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Speaker 1: Is a thirteen centimeter.

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Speaker 3: Cop Okay, all right, that's all we're gonna do for

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Speaker 3: that longest banana.

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Speaker 2: That's all we're doing for that.

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Speaker 1: Uh. Surgeon Vladimir Kamashev said the branch was green, as

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Speaker 1: if it had just been taken from the wood. It's

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Speaker 1: still a mystery how the tree got in there.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 1: Some people think Ardiam, who studies plants for a living,

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Speaker 1: breathed in a branch while he was working in the woods.

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Speaker 1: Others believe he inhaled a seed which then grew into

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Speaker 1: a tree inside his body. Cool, but he doesn't think

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Speaker 1: that's possible. For plants to be able to grow. They

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Speaker 1: need light, water, and carbon dioxide. Therefore, plants cannot use

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Speaker 1: human tissue, they cannot process them already. Maybe really an

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Speaker 1: answer soon.

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Speaker 2: So here.

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Speaker 1: So I found a lot of different places that this

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Speaker 1: article was in. Yes, the New York Post is just

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Speaker 1: like tree is growing in man's lungs. They don't talk

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Speaker 1: about that. Trees don't grow in lungs. They're just like

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Speaker 1: it's in there, it's growing. He inhaled a seed, we know.

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Speaker 1: Two thousand and nine was very different. And I found

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Speaker 1: the Chest Journal.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: In the Chest Journal, it just says they just keep

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Speaker 1: saying like trees can't grow in lungs, But also, how

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Speaker 1: did it get in it?

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Speaker 2: That's all they keep says it did Chest Journal.

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Speaker 1: So no one really knows. It's very confusing.

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Speaker 3: I don't understand how you could inhale a.

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Speaker 1: Tree branch this big. You know that, notice you would

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Speaker 1: notice right because you inhaled it. You didn't just like

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Speaker 1: swallow it. That's different. You went and it went shoo,

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Speaker 1: And at no point you were like, I've inhaled a

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Speaker 1: tree branch.

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Speaker 2: My breath smells great constantly.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, so that's the story.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty amazing.

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Speaker 3: That is she would think you'd remember it, especially if

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Speaker 3: they're not like he's a huge drinker, like the lady

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Speaker 3: we saw last night. I'm like, she could swallow an

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Speaker 3: oak and she would be like, I don't know, I

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Speaker 3: don't know.

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Speaker 1: That is true. Right, it is Russia.

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Speaker 3: There could be there could be blackout drinking occurring around

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Speaker 3: tiny tree branches.

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Speaker 2: In the wood.

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Speaker 1: Guy, So who knows?

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Speaker 2: Who knows?

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Speaker 1: But speaking of lungs, yes, sir, I know. On this podcast,

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Speaker 1: I've talked a little bit in the past about the

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Speaker 1: fact that I started smoking cigarettes at age ten.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh Philly, oh Philly.

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Speaker 2: There. Yeah, they're like you whimp what you.

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Speaker 1: But I never really kind of told the story of

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Speaker 1: like how did it happen? Yeah, I don't know, ten

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Speaker 1: year old start smoking? Sure, And so I had an

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Speaker 1: older friend, Yes, that's older friend, Francis Kelly and uh

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Speaker 1: And Francis was twelve, so he was two years older

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Speaker 1: than me. His mom used to babysit me, and that's

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Speaker 1: how I became friends with him, and we were we

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Speaker 1: just like we're best friends up until probably like we

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Speaker 1: were like fourteen or something, and then high school, you know,

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Speaker 1: we just kind of went our separate ways, but still

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Speaker 1: friends to this day. He So we were we decided

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Speaker 1: we were going to start smoking, and it was just

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Speaker 1: like a decision. It was just like, yeah, we should

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Speaker 1: probably try it out.

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Speaker 2: We're men now.

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Speaker 1: We would always see like in Newport's I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you guys remember this is this is nineteen eighty six,

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Speaker 1: and Newport packaging was just like do you like candy children? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Do you like sailboats and raves?

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Speaker 2: Yes? So true?

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Speaker 1: And do you like minty deliciousness? And you're like, yes,

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Speaker 1: I do, Newport, let's go and uh and so there

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Speaker 1: there was a convenience store in Sharker of a Hills,

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Speaker 1: New Jersey, called the Cracker Barrel. And for years when

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Speaker 1: people would be like, I like they talk about the

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Speaker 1: Cracker Barrel, and I'm like, there's other cracker barrels.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, seems like a dump.

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Speaker 1: This was a convenience store that was named after a

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Speaker 1: national chain and no one had ever heard of Cracker

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Speaker 1: Barrel in New Jersey.

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Speaker 2: That happens.

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Speaker 3: So this was the Cracker Barrel and it was just

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Speaker 3: like like a classic Jersey shore just like screen door

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Speaker 3: at all times, even in the winter, always open, and

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Speaker 3: like you know, they sold cigarettes and candy and everything,

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Speaker 3: so we would always go in there for candy. So

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Speaker 3: the guys who worked at the Cracker Barrel knew us

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Speaker 3: personally because like literally, like Francis's house was here, you

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Speaker 3: could almost see the cracker barrel, it was that close.

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Speaker 3: So we called up this dude, I think his name

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Speaker 3: is Michael Letta and because he lived in Wall or somewhere,

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Speaker 3: and we're like, you come and buy cigarettes for us.

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Speaker 3: He's like, got it, so done, no questions asked, I'm available.

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Speaker 1: And this is the eighties, so there's no restrictions on

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Speaker 1: how old you need to be to buy cigarettes in Jersey.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So so this twelve year old boy rides his BMX bike

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Speaker 1: over to the cracker Barrel sick and we wait at

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Speaker 1: Francis's house. He buys newports obviously, yes sir, and then

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Speaker 1: calls us from the payphone yes and says his line

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Speaker 1: to us was the pita bread is in the hole.

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Speaker 1: And then we had to respond, the fox will get

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Speaker 1: the lettuce.

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Speaker 2: The fox will get the lettuce.

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Speaker 1: Uh. And so then we hang up. That's all we

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Speaker 1: say to each other because like Francis's mom is around,

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Speaker 1: so we're just like the fox will get the lettuce

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Speaker 1: and hunk hang it up, and then we get on

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Speaker 1: our bikes and ride over to the woods.

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Speaker 3: And the woods it was like across the street from

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Speaker 3: France's house.

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Speaker 1: Everyone lived across the street from woods in the eighties.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 1: All of them are developments now. Yeah, in the eighties,

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Speaker 1: like a lot of it.

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Speaker 3: There was so many any different portions of woods that

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Speaker 3: children would hang out in. And this specific woods was

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Speaker 3: right on the edge of Shark River. Of Shark River,

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Speaker 3: it's like the ending of Shark River, which just turns

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Speaker 3: into like a muddy muddiness wetlands is what they could.

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Speaker 3: It sound just like a great place to smoke cigarettes

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Speaker 3: for the first time.

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Speaker 1: And some other children had dug like years ago, had

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Speaker 1: dug a giant hole in the ground and then lined

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Speaker 1: it with like jo so you had like this place

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Speaker 1: to go. And then of course there was a cooler.

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Speaker 1: There was always a cooler. It was a cooler that

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00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 1: was buried in the ground. N you had like moved

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00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,600
Speaker 1: dirt away and then open up and that was where

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Speaker 1: the pornography was obviously we never put the pornography there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't be dumb.

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Speaker 1: And also, if you're young, pornography was in woods.

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Speaker 3: It was the Internet that was the thing. Pornography that

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00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 3: was of course there's pornography in the woods.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,600
Speaker 3: You couldn't over a stump without landing on pornography, the

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00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:08,800
Speaker 3: Chess Journal, other pornography.

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Speaker 2: It was exciting.

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00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 3: I'd be in the ziploc bag and you'd be like,

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00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,919
Speaker 3: and then you didn't know what to do. You were

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00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,359
Speaker 3: ten years old and you're like, I don't know how

328
00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:17,800
Speaker 3: to have sex, but I'm looking at this right now

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00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:19,880
Speaker 3: and I'm going to figure it out.

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Speaker 1: It was you.

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Speaker 3: It was confusing, the feelings you have, confusing what was

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00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:24,159
Speaker 3: going on, and.

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00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 1: The pictures was confused.

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00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,200
Speaker 2: We did it. It's a different time.

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Speaker 1: And then I also remember because like the woods were

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00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 1: just like it was very much you know, I remember

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00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 1: reading this is gonna be dorky, but I remember when

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00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 1: I started reading Shakespeare in college, okay, and they were

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00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:41,439
Speaker 1: like and they always like talked about like the scenes

340
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 1: in the city are all about like rules in society,

341
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Speaker 1: and then once you get to the woods, it's fucking wild,

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00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:52,439
Speaker 1: like people are fucking everything's crazy. They're doing drugs. And

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00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,800
Speaker 1: I was just like, of course they are, because that's

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Speaker 1: what it was growing up in New Jersey.

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00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:04,880
Speaker 2: Yes, that's right. The barred himself.

346
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:10,080
Speaker 3: Yeah. So he comes over, he's got to pack of Newport. Yeah,

347
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:13,000
Speaker 3: and we all take one out and and I just

348
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:16,600
Speaker 3: can still remember the smell of an unlit cigarette.

349
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 1: It's the best smell.

350
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: It does.

351
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 1: Tobacco does smell gray, it does, and we all light

352
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,800
Speaker 1: it up, but we have no idea, so we're just

353
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,440
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, mouth in it, mouth and it mouth

354
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 1: and mouth in it. And then we're just like, well, okay,

355
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 1: like it's a little minty and that's fine. And then

356
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,160
Speaker 1: we put it out and we go the next week.

357
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,040
Speaker 1: So then we of course we bury it next to

358
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:37,760
Speaker 1: the pornography.

359
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 2: That's just smart, guys, that's just smart.

360
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,879
Speaker 1: We put it in a plastic bag and buried it

361
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,359
Speaker 1: next to the pornography. So then next week and we

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00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,159
Speaker 1: come back and Francis is like, I was a Bellmar playland.

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00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 1: This is a that's an arcade on the boardwalk, and

364
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 1: he says, uh, some kids were there, okay, and they

365
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 1: were inhaling, And I was like, and to my mind.

366
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 1: I was like, that sounds like the craziest thing I've

367
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 1: ever heard.

368
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:05,440
Speaker 3: Well, you were ten years old. Yes, I don't even

369
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 3: know the word inhaling at ten years old. And I

370
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 3: was like, there's no way, there's no way. That's impossible.

371
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:13,640
Speaker 3: You can't do it. And he's like, no, here's how

372
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 3: you can do it. And this is this is how

373
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 3: young we were. He's like, Okay, you take the smoke

374
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,640
Speaker 3: just into your mouth and then take the cigarette away

375
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 3: and go.

376
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is how you do it. That is how

377
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 1: you do it.

378
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 2: It works.

379
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,639
Speaker 1: And I remember being like, wow, I'll try bottoms up.

380
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 1: It was just like and then boom, like just fucking

381
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,600
Speaker 1: high for the first time in my life, amazing, fell

382
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:45,159
Speaker 1: backwards into a pricker bush, and then I was just

383
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 1: looking up at the sky and I remember as I

384
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 1: was there, just watched one helicopter go over the overhead

385
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 1: and I remember specifically being like, that's my mom. She knows, Oh,

386
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:00,960
Speaker 1: she she knows.

387
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 2: That's so funny.

388
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 1: It was like, it's so I can't remember it, Like

389
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,159
Speaker 1: it's fucking like when I have Alzheimer's. This is the

390
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 1: story I'm gonna tell over and over and over again.

391
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,640
Speaker 1: If it is so deep nicotine for some reason gets it.

392
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 3: It's like a worm that sits in the back of

393
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 3: your brain. It's like herpes. You know, never goes away.

394
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 2: Thank you?

395
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,439
Speaker 1: Do you know that herpes virus encircles itself around your

396
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:27,400
Speaker 1: spinal cord and never leaves. Yes, and that insane.

397
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 3: If we could teach the herpes to smoke, Oh wait

398
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 3: a second, have it all figured out.

399
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 2: That's fine.

400
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 3: And so then that because I started so early, I

401
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 3: had to evolve, right.

402
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:44,160
Speaker 1: And of course I'll end it with this. Please. By

403
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 1: the time I was seventeen years old, and I was

404
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:54,880
Speaker 1: a unbearable seventeen year old, you know, I started smoking

405
00:20:54,920 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 1: a pipe that is unbearable. That is unbearable, and right,

406
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 1: aid used to have these pipes and they were at checkout.

407
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 1: There was a zippo, a turning zippo thing and then

408
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 1: a turning pipe thing, right like, people are always like,

409
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: I'm checking out, Oh I gotta get a pipe. I'm

410
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: like spin it around a grab. So I had this

411
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 1: dumb Sherlock Holmes era pipe bought for three dollars at

412
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 1: write eight or whatever. Cool. I had a zip. I

413
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: had a zippo that was like a pipe zippo that

414
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: had the hole in the thing, and I would smoke

415
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: the cheapest cherry tobacco from writing. Yes, of course I

416
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 1: wore a I did before Columbine A trench coat.

417
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 2: Prac.

418
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 3: This is Prac, y'all, Prac seventeen years old. Coolest dude

419
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 3: in the world.

420
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 1: Pracy trench coat, Sherlock Holmes pipe and a bucket.

421
00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 3: Pat like a Scottish hounds tooth pattern on it.

422
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,479
Speaker 1: Oh boy, that's so cool this dude in the world.

423
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 3: Man, God, there's a teachable moment in that, because you

424
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 3: have a very lovely wife. So people can change, People

425
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 3: can change. Before we move on, we want you to

426
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 3: be a part of the show. If you win, so

427
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 3: on the counter three just yell your full name one,

428
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 3: two three. Now you're all on the podcast. You'll be

429
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:39,640
Speaker 3: able to hear.

430
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 2: Your name sound and good sounding good.

431
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:46,400
Speaker 3: Tell your parents, Tell your step parents, you're now famous.

432
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 2: You're international.

433
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 3: We got a Spotify told us we had a great

434
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 3: year because we got the most new listeners in Israel

435
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 3: and India.

436
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 2: So there you go.

437
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 3: So now you guys are going to be huge there,

438
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 3: which is what we could all have. Happy Hanikah everybody.

439
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 1: By the way, Khanika.

440
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 2: We should have had a menora. I regret not having one.

441
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 2: Okayd ok.

442
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: Everyone sent us that banana menora. Does anybody have the

443
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 1: banana minora?

444
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? It's pretty neat or offensive. We don't know.

445
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't know.

446
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 3: Alexa or alex ha thirty thirty sent this one in

447
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,879
Speaker 3: Thank you, Alexa Haha thirty thirty.

448
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 2: This was in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

449
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 4: Yeah.

450
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 3: I did this one this morning because I was flipping

451
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 3: through and I go ah. This was written by Mike Newall,

452
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 3: who was known as the he sure is Philadelphia Thief

453
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 3: steals a shot back from a window that's filled with

454
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 3: four hundred giant hornets. Did anybody hear this one? It

455
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,959
Speaker 3: was big news? Yeah, this is big news back in August.

456
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 3: Holy smokes, I'll do it. And who is this from?

457
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: Cheers? See you tomorrow?

458
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 3: Yeah that's three fifty eight pm. Let's get real here

459
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 3: we go. Uh. It starts great. You guys know I

460
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 3: love a great name. Yeah, Don shump s h u

461
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 3: mp don shump. Oh man, I love this owner of

462
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:44,880
Speaker 3: Philadelphia b Company. Oh this is not where I expected

463
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 3: it to begin. No, sir stared at an empty bed

464
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 3: of his pickup truck last Friday morning. His portable shop back,

465
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 3: an essential appliance for any bea removal specialist, had been gone,

466
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 3: had gone missing. But then Schump forty six of Frankfurt,

467
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means. Northeast northeast like northeast,

468
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 3: only the biggest hornets up there.

469
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,200
Speaker 1: I know where Frankfort is only because when you were

470
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 1: staying at a hotel around the corner, when you turn

471
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 1: the TV on, it's just local Philly information, and there's

472
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 1: one guy going Frankfurt. You could come live here for

473
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Oh, which is I

474
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,680
Speaker 1: don't think is true. It's very old.

475
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 3: Don Chump of Frankfort remembered what had been inside the vacuum,

476
00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 3: hundreds of large hornets, giant queens and yellowjackets he had

477
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 3: left swarming in the machine overnight. Wow, the thief unexpectedly

478
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:48,880
Speaker 3: stole a hornets nest.

479
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 2: Yes, oh got him.

480
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 1: What a dork.

481
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,360
Speaker 3: And not just any hornets, but European hornets, the only

482
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 3: true hornet species of North of America. Thank you, Philadelphia Inquirer.

483
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 3: The buzzing bugs, identified by their burnt orange wings and

484
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:12,360
Speaker 3: bodies as big as wine corks are the largest social

485
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 3: stinging insects in the Eastern United States.

486
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got one.

487
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 3: Cranky creatures and stubbornly defensive of their colmies. European hornets

488
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 3: are known to sting repeatedly and without warning.

489
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: Wow.

490
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, to see the camera footage of this.

491
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 3: There were probably four hundred of them, jump figured, including

492
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 3: one hundred feisty queens.

493
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 2: This sounds kind of fun.

494
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: Wait wait wait, hornets have more than one queen. I

495
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: have hundreds of queens.

496
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 2: It' said.

497
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: One hundred feisty queens and a thousand yellow jackets. Fuck.

498
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 3: Wait, so he's just oh so he's just leave them

499
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 3: in there, all part of the removal he had performed

500
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 3: the day before, and they were trapped in the purloined vacuum.

501
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:10,880
Speaker 1: Purloined means stolen.

502
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 2: I don't know what it means.

503
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 3: I thought that's when he got sunburnt between your knees

504
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 3: and your crops. Uh, desperate, furious and ready to swarm. Quote, well,

505
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 3: this is going to be extremely unpleasant for somebody, shump said. Shump,

506
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 3: who maintains a collection of educational beehives on the roof

507
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,679
Speaker 3: of his Parkway Central of the Parkway Central Library provides

508
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 3: honey to such businesses as Shane Confectory.

509
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 2: Is that a place all right? And Franklin Fountain in

510
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,879
Speaker 2: Old City Okay, okay.

511
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 3: He hoped to find it abandoned, the hornets and bees

512
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 3: still inside. He checked for nearby security footage but found nothing.

513
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,639
Speaker 3: He didn't bother notifying the police. Not over one hundred

514
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 3: dollars vacuum Shrump said he posted an to the b

515
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 3: bandit on Facebook, and this is why I chose the

516
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 3: story to the poor soul who lifted the shot back

517
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 3: from the back of my truck. I wanted to give

518
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:12,479
Speaker 3: you a heads up.

519
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,640
Speaker 2: You're the queen.

520
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 3: Bees should be full of life and extra spicy. I

521
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 3: anxiously await your unboxing video. Chump said that the European

522
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 3: horns deliver a sting that would not be lethal, but

523
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 3: just very painful, like out of a horror movie.

524
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 6: Oh.

525
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:37,400
Speaker 3: He worries that the thief could unknowingly unseal the vacuum hose,

526
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 3: freeing the insects.

527
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: Please or bring them the.

528
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 3: Stone item directly to a pawn shop, which is probably

529
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 3: what happened. I see someone pulling the hose out and

530
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 3: being stunned. He said they would hear buzzing. Some would

531
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 3: crawl out, some would fly out, some would start bouncing

532
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 3: off until they got a hold of you, and it

533
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 3: would dawn on them that they were being actively attacked.

534
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 3: On average jumps, he is stung anywhere from five to

535
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 3: thirty times a day.

536
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 1: Oh boy, oh my god. You would think he would

537
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: work out a system where he doesn't get stung.

538
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 2: It goes on to say that he's immune to it,

539
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: and then he doesn't care.

540
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 3: There was a whole thing about how you can become

541
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 3: immune to beastings, and I just thought it would borest

542
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 3: into oblivion. But speaking of crimes, yeah, backfiring, yes, I

543
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 3: like that. Okay, So this is a bit of a

544
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,479
Speaker 3: long story, but I'll speed it up as much as

545
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 3: I can.

546
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:32,560
Speaker 1: Okay. So I'm you know me, We've known for eighteen years. Yeah,

547
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: I'm not a gaslighter.

548
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 2: I don't do it. Yeah, because I did it once

549
00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: and it went back. So I failed so bad.

550
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 3: So in Maryland, and I don't know if this is

551
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 3: a case here, but when you're a senior in high school,

552
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 3: like you get out of high school a couple of

553
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 3: weeks before the rest of school, and then everybody goes

554
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 3: on Senior Week.

555
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: Do y'all do that in Pennsylvania? Where do you go?

556
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: Ocean Sedi, New Jersey or something.

557
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 1: What's Senior Week?

558
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 3: Oh you go to Ocean City, Maryland, probably some of you.

559
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 3: So Senior Week is for one week. That was good,

560
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 3: That's what I heard. Oh, Senior week is when you

561
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 3: have those two weeks. All of our parents just go

562
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 3: it's fine, and then we all go to Ocean City

563
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 3: and party as hard as possible for one week.

564
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: Okay.

565
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 3: By the time I got to UMass, I was so

566
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 3: good at partying from Senior Week. I'm like whatever, losers

567
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 3: just riding around.

568
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: So I just didn't have Senior Week.

569
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 3: It was incredible. So I was seventeen and maybe we

570
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 3: know why. Yeah, nobody wants Sherlock Holmes and.

571
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's on the case. He's on the case. Where

572
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 2: is the virginity? I was not a virgin.

573
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: I was not a virgin. I started fuck get at fourteen.

574
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I.

575
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: Mean fourteen year old Kurt post Coitus smoking a pipe. No, No,

576
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 1: I hadn't found a pipe yet.

577
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 2: It was seventeen. I was seventeen, so I'd smoke a seven.

578
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 2: So I was seventeen and the three people.

579
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 3: I want my best friend Andre, my friend Annie, and

580
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 3: then her boyfriend who was from another high school. We

581
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 3: packed up his suburb, his dad's suburban, and we snuck

582
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 3: in like five hundred dollars with a beer.

583
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 2: And I'm talking like Killian's Irish Red.

584
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 3: Yes, honey brown, Killian, but I Red Malibu down Home

585
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 3: punch all the worst ship.

586
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: Does Killian still exist?

587
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 3: Probably yes, exactly like pre Mike's Hard Lemonade era. So

588
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 3: you know, eight three, eighteen year old to seventeen year old,

589
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 3: we're going to Ocean Seed. We're going across the Chesapeake

590
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,719
Speaker 3: Bay Bridge. Okay, it's four point five miles long. It's

591
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 3: very tall, and I know how long it is because

592
00:31:57,520 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 3: as we were going up, the transmission stopped and we

593
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 3: started drifting backwards, and Alan is hitting the brakes and

594
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 3: this way down car is going backwards. Instant instant traffic jam.

595
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 3: Instant traffic jam because everybody's going to Senior Week. So

596
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 3: then we hear, you know, horns honking, people yelling at

597
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 3: us in Maryland accents not that different from Philly, like

598
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 3: come on, go down there.

599
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 2: We're trying to get you know, come on, man, trying

600
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 2: to go down the ocean. Yeah, we go down to

601
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: eastern shore, come on, you know, all puckered face.

602
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 1: So then we hear sirens and we're like, well, this

603
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: is it.

604
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 2: We're going to jail.

605
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I'm like I'm going to d so much

606
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 3: alcohol and the way you have enough to get this room?

607
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 3: Drug okayla and so, and it's like not hidden. It's

608
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 3: just like two backpacks and five hundred dollars worth of booze.

609
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 3: And so here comes the siren and it we're looking

610
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,479
Speaker 3: back and it's just a cop tow truck and they

611
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 3: do not stop.

612
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 2: They don't get out.

613
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 3: They just ram the back of us and push us

614
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 3: all the way across at forty miles an hour.

615
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 2: They have a big up on the front. So we

616
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 2: just go. They're like, not on our watch.

617
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 3: So we're going about three point five more miles at

618
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 3: forty miles an hour, and we're going like okay, So

619
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 3: we're you're allowed to carry alcohol.

620
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:17,959
Speaker 2: If you're eighteen, you can have alcohol in your car.

621
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 2: We're not drinking it.

622
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 3: You're allowed to have it. We're throwing stuff over it

623
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 3: to hide it. The cop pushes us into a parking lot,

624
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 3: speeds away, doesn't talk to us.

625
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 2: Again.

626
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 3: Whoa, Oh my god. It was just like clear the bridge,

627
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 3: Clear the bridge, Clear the bridge. So this is where

628
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 3: I'm really gonna abbreviate it. We catch a ride, we

629
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 3: hitchhike back to reisters Town, my town. We get in

630
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 3: another car, we go back to the suburban. We put

631
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 3: all the beer in that. We get to the ocean.

632
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 1: Holy shit.

633
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 2: But it's so much crazier than that. But I'll do

634
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 2: it at a different time.

635
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 3: So by the time we get there, we had rented

636
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 3: a condo because one of the ann he was eighteen

637
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 3: under his eighteen.

638
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 2: So and it was called Phoenix four oh four.

639
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 3: Very cool, and but the rental company was closed because

640
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:03,680
Speaker 3: it took us so long to go all the way back,

641
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 3: and they came three hours back to the beach. So

642
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 3: I was like, let's see what happens. I start testing

643
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 3: all the windows, and I find an open window, and

644
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 3: I crawl inside, and I go through all the drawers

645
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 3: and I find the keys to sixth floor four oh

646
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,879
Speaker 3: four Phoenix or Phoenix four oh four. So I broke

647
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 3: it and stole the keys.

648
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: They're like, oh wait, wait, you went oh to the

649
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: real to the realtor.

650
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had to pick it up.

651
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 3: You broke into the realtors off correct because we had

652
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 3: to prepay, but then you had to sign and give

653
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 3: them a deposit of like eight hundred dollars that you

654
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 3: get back.

655
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: Time is it?

656
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: What time is it?

657
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 3: When you got six thirty seven pm and they're not

658
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 3: there on that fucking weekend.

659
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: I know I'm bad. It's shit, Turkey.

660
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 3: I'm here to party. Yeah, so we go and we party.

661
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 3: We go into our condo or like, this is great,

662
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,320
Speaker 3: we party all night. Phone rings in the morning. This

663
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 3: is pre cell phone. So I pick up the landline.

664
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 3: You know, I'm again. I'm seventeen. So I'm like hello,

665
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 3: and the at the rent office goes, Hi, Yeah, are

666
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,479
Speaker 3: you guys coming in today? Because I had you coming

667
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 3: in tomorrow or yesterday and I didn't see you. Just

668
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 3: want to make sure everything was okay, And I go,

669
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,279
Speaker 3: this is when I start gaslighting. I go, no, we

670
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 3: got here yesterday, and she goes what. I go, We're

671
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 3: already in the condo And she goes, well, that's impossible,

672
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 3: and she starts fumbling around in her drawer. You can

673
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 3: like hear and the keys are gone because I stole

674
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 3: the keys. And she goes, well, I go, no, we're here.

675
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 3: We spent the night here last night, and we're in

676
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 3: six so one, and she goes, are you being serious?

677
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,719
Speaker 3: I go, we're here right now, and she goes, well,

678
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 3: you have to sign like paperwork. And I give everybody

679
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 3: a tour of the place they're renting, and I go, no,

680
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 3: we're here. All the other the other three are asleep,

681
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 3: and so she's like, well, come over, I'm coming over

682
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 3: right now. And I'm like, oh, fucked, cause I'm seventeen.

683
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:55,440
Speaker 3: This is an adult.

684
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, where you are fucking busted?

685
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

686
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 3: So I'm cleaning up bottles and cans and there I'm

687
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 3: like filling up trash cans, trashing.

688
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 2: It's full.

689
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:05,080
Speaker 3: So then I put it in a foam styrofoam cooler

690
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 3: that's just melted ice water. Now bottleskins, bottleskins, put the

691
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 3: lid on, and I wait, and everybody starts waking up,

692
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 3: and the lady from rental office hasn't come, and then

693
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 3: it's one o'clock, then it's three.

694
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 2: O'clock, then it's five o'clock.

695
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: She doesn't come.

696
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 2: She doesn't come.

697
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

698
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,680
Speaker 3: So I start making calls and I start throwing a

699
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 3: party and all my Franklin High school kids start coming over,

700
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 3: and our plan was all especially the girls, all the

701
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 3: girls that were the Honor Student, Gifted and Talented AP students.

702
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 3: It's like, do y'all want to get drunk with Andrea

703
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 3: and I? And they're like, sounds fun. So the doorbell

704
00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 3: rings and it's the lady from the rental company and

705
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,919
Speaker 3: I have maybe fifteen people over, but we're kids. I'm

706
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 3: most of us are seventeen or eighteen. Yeah, And she's like,

707
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,279
Speaker 3: how did you get in here? And I was like,

708
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 3: you gave me the keys.

709
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 1: I love that your first experimentation with gas lighting was

710
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:10,800
Speaker 1: the craziest version of gas lighting. It wasn't about like

711
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 1: we didn't feel that, you weren't.

712
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, your emotions right there.

713
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: You personally gave me a tour, handed me keys twenty

714
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 1: four hours ago and you don't remember, you just forgot

715
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 1: how else would I have gotten them?

716
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:26,720
Speaker 2: So she's like, well, who's Annie?

717
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 3: And I'm like, Annie's any so hungover she didn't come

718
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 3: out of the bedroom all day, So I'm like, Annie,

719
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 3: can you come out here? You have to sign because

720
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 3: it was like her credit card or whatever. We had

721
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 3: a money order for the security deposit. That's how long

722
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 3: ago this was, my god, So we like hand her

723
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 3: eight hundred dollars money order. Annie signs like all bullet

724
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 3: faces and she's so so I'm like cool, I'm about

725
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 3: to get away with this.

726
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 2: This is going great. And then Andre, my best buddy,

727
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 2: is trying to be cool.

728
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 3: No, and he's so drunk. I mean, we were doing

729
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 3: after shock. We were doing all the dumbestuff after shock.

730
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 3: So he oh, my god, I have so many stories

731
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 3: about every thing did and so and all the like

732
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 3: ap girls are like I'm not gonna go to Harvard

733
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:10,840
Speaker 3: and I'm a welcome to you mask guys, You'll be fine.

734
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 3: So Andndrake comes out from the kitchen and oh, we

735
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 3: had hidden everything like as quick as you could. Are like, no,

736
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 3: we're fine, and.

737
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 2: Like just swaying young people drunk.

738
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 3: Andrake takes three steps out of the kitchen, his foot

739
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 3: catches on the carpet. He drops to his knees and

740
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:28,480
Speaker 3: then falls neck and headfirst into the foam cooler, splits

741
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 3: it in half like an egg.

742
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: Beer cams and water go out the sides. And the

743
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: woman holding the.

744
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 3: Woman I've lied to for twenty four hours, holding the

745
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 3: money order goes, well, I guess I have your deposit

746
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 3: and closes the door.

747
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 1: So that's my only time gaslighting ever. Yeah.

748
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,399
Speaker 2: Also, we're all still alive. Everybody's still alive.

749
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 1: She's a realtor who rents a house in Ocean City, Maryland.

750
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, right near following the bait.

751
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: You don't even know that that was mild for her,

752
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,800
Speaker 1: you know. So after shock when I was in Edinburgh

753
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 1: in two thousand and five, there was signs, yes, public

754
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 1: service announcements saying do not put aftershock in your eye

755
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: because it was a teenage because like in Edinburgh, in

756
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 1: like Scotland, like kids start drinking at like fourteen, and

757
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: the in bars like they're like fourteen and drinking. So

758
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 1: kids were taking shots of after shock, opening their eye

759
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 1: and then holding it on top of their eye, and

760
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 1: you get drunk very quickly.

761
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 3: It just goes through the blood brain barrier directly or

762
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:46,919
Speaker 3: dear brain. But your eyes smell great and your eyes

763
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 3: no amazing. You're just winking at guys you like.

764
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 1: And then so a very similar story. I we rented

765
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,319
Speaker 1: a house in Baltimore when we were in college. Hell yeah,

766
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:04,400
Speaker 1: and uh, what are you cheering for college? College houses

767
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 1: in Baltimore. Uh and uh and it was like literally

768
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: I saw her when I rented the house. I rented

769
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: it personally.

770
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:14,319
Speaker 6: Uh.

771
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 1: And it was one thousand dollars a month between five people.

772
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 1: We all paid two hundred dollars a month.

773
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,840
Speaker 3: And it was a three story house, four bedroom, amazing,

774
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 3: two bath. It was amazing, amazing, backyard of balcony.

775
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: It was awesome. And it was a row house, Baltimore

776
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: row house. We destroyed this house.

777
00:40:33,560 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 3: Sure, of course, of course, in a way that is

778
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 3: unimaginable to me today. Uh So one night, yes, sir,

779
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 3: I left. What was happening when I left was our

780
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 3: friend Darby. Darby was people were cheering.

781
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: As he took a full sixteen ounce of pragu like

782
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 1: Ray like, uh you know rag pasta sauce? Is it prago?

783
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 1: It was prego or yeah, pray go, and just chugged it.

784
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 3: It's in there, yeah yeah, Like he finished the sixteen.

785
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 1: Ounces of tomato sauce. It's like a sashed it on

786
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:10,320
Speaker 1: the ground.

787
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,240
Speaker 2: That's cool, that's cool.

788
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 3: And then I was like, I'm gonna get out of here. Yes,

789
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,879
Speaker 3: So I went to my girlfriend's house and I slept there.

790
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,800
Speaker 1: I came back, Sir, I came back at like noon

791
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 1: because I knew that are the woman who owned the

792
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 1: house with this was our senior year and it was

793
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 1: like like April or something, so she was getting ready

794
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: to rent it in June, so she wanted to show

795
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,200
Speaker 1: it to someone. Sure, and so I come back. She

796
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,360
Speaker 1: was gonna be there at one and I walked in

797
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:39,879
Speaker 1: the door.

798
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 3: It's well, I don't walk in the door because I

799
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 3: can't open the back door.

800
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 2: It's good.

801
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 1: I get my key in and I start pushing it

802
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,839
Speaker 1: and it's hitting something and I don't know, So then

803
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 1: I have to walk around the block and come in

804
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 1: the front door. I walk through the I'm like, why

805
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: can't I open the And then I get to the

806
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: kitchen and so as I'm college kids, we had every

807
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: every bottle of alcohol for two years we had put

808
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: on top of the and after Darby had smashed the

809
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 1: Prey Go bottle, then everyone just started grabbing all those

810
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: bottles and smashing them on the ground and the kitchen,

811
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 1: and then it extended from there where every single plate,

812
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 1: I mean like this, every single plate, every single mug.

813
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: And I wasn't there for any of this.

814
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 2: It's art.

815
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 1: It is art, yeah, and everyone was just like like

816
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 1: because we were we were doing a lot of acid

817
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 1: at the time, and we were all we always thought

818
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 1: about we always talked about the fact that the art

819
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 1: of destruction is as beautiful and important art of creation. Correct.

820
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 2: Correct, And we had.

821
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 3: Those big stickers up where everyone said, fuck art, let's.

822
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: Kill And there was and I'm not kidding you, it

823
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 1: was this deep. And that's why I couldn't open the door.

824
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 1: The entire kitchen was this deep of just glass and

825
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:07,160
Speaker 1: ceramic and everything and there everything else was empty. So

826
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,959
Speaker 1: then everyone's passed out and I can't and she's coming

827
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 1: in like fifteen minutes. So then what I do is

828
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: I get just a big box, like a cardboard box

829
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 1: mart and I get the mop and I just use

830
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 1: the mop as a as a shovel to just shove

831
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,320
Speaker 1: it into the box and then continually bring it outside

832
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: and dump it into the trash cans for like fifteen

833
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 1: minutes straight to I get it all us. But then

834
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:34,439
Speaker 1: the it's cut the linoleum, and then glass has gotten

835
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 1: underneath the linoleum in a way that I can't get

836
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 1: it out. It was just like okay, and then I

837
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 1: just was like I literally ran I heard someone like

838
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 1: putting keys in the door.

839
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 2: I ran over.

840
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: I saw the owner and two women who were like,

841
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 1: and we also there was holes in the wall, and

842
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,399
Speaker 1: I just was like, and I ran out the back door,

843
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,040
Speaker 1: and she never.

844
00:43:54,400 --> 00:44:01,760
Speaker 3: Said a fucking word yes at all about it. Recycled, reduced, reused, recycle.

845
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 3: And this is honestly why I'll never be a landlord,

846
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 3: I know, especially in Baltimore or Philly kind of similar.

847
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: All right, great, we have been talking so much. It's

848
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: time to do confession.

849
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 3: If somebody can grab the confessions box, we'll get you

850
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 3: a beverage.

851
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 2: Of course. I have a couple of shout outs.

852
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:24,959
Speaker 1: Should we get two more of these?

853
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 2: Yeah?

854
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:29,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, Julia, can we get two more paza and soda?

855
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 2: And uh?

856
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: Two shout outs?

857
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 2: Yeah?

858
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: Liz Man or mon man Mon mon Mon.

859
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 3: Liz Mon wants to shout out her husband, Brandon, who

860
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 3: doesn't listen to bananas but came anyway.

861
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:51,320
Speaker 2: Thank you, welcome to the banana.

862
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:55,400
Speaker 1: Ly you've never said that before. No, I don't know.

863
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 6: Good.

864
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 5: I like that.

865
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 3: I've never had alcohol before he started. And Brandon's starting

866
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 3: new jobs. He can spend more time with Liz and

867
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 3: their dog.

868
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: That's exciting.

869
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 2: Thank you. Let's get this young lady.

870
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: Uh, what's your name?

871
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:11,440
Speaker 2: Let's get Amanda.

872
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 3: Becca wants to shout out her husband, Tommy Pivovar. It's

873
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 3: his birthday, Happy birthday, and they drove in from Cleveland

874
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 3: for the show.

875
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 2: There you go. That's for you.

876
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: It is And if you have not since you're from Cleveland,

877
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,319
Speaker 1: Kismet Bagels.

878
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 2: Is right over there.

879
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,120
Speaker 1: It's the fucking best bagel I've had in a long time.

880
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, this is for Brandon too. Brandon. Can somebody

881
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 3: pass us to Brandon?

882
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 2: Please? Thank you very much, young lady welcome.

883
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,720
Speaker 3: If you hate the podcast, send it right back to stage,

884
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 3: and then we can also do longest bananas.

885
00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,839
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, but I have a shout out. Oh good,

886
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 1: I want to shout out Scarlet Estelle.

887
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 3: Scarley came to my show last night and she said

888
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 3: that she started a podcast just recently. She had her

889
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 3: first live show just last week, Gratulation, ult it Out,

890
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 3: what's it called? What's it called?

891
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 1: Her podcast is called Sugar We're Going In and it

892
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:24,399
Speaker 1: is about the symbiotic relationship between fallout Boy and hip hop,

893
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 1: which I did not know about.

894
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 2: Very cool. There's just some confessions. Then we'll do longest banana.

895
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: Okay, go ahead. Well we're starting off with a banger.

896
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 1: It burned when I payed this morning.

897
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 2: Not good.

898
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 3: You're absolved, and you know penicillin or antibiotics before they're relevant.

899
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 2: Good for you.

900
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 1: When I was in high school, Weeds had just come out.

901
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 1: I watched the episode where Andy tells Shane to use

902
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:11,319
Speaker 1: a toot banana right, something banana peel. Wow, you're atrocious.

903
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 1: You're absolved though, something banana peal to masturbate. So I

904
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 1: did too ten but I did finish, and that's what

905
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 1: counts your absolved. When I was in high school, we

906
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: did the whole thing of like cooking banana peels down

907
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,759
Speaker 1: to try and smoke them. It's very it's very long process. Yeah,

908
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 1: not resulting you having a big headache. Thank you so much.

909
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 1: Everybody give it up for you. Julia the Great Julia

910
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:40,319
Speaker 1: years ago.

911
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 3: Years ago, I stole the stove knobs from an oven

912
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:46,439
Speaker 3: at a party and then mailed them back two days later.

913
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 2: Great prank. By the way, you're absolved. That's so sweet you.

914
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 1: Angel had to pee going to the New Jersey Shore

915
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:03,120
Speaker 1: in August and Saturday moving day. My husband did not

916
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: want to stop so I grabbed two diapers and did

917
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 1: the unthinkable.

918
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: So relieve you're fine. This is a nice one like that.

919
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 3: When my brother and I were kids, we duct taped

920
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 3: our much younger sister to a poll in the basement

921
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 3: and turned off the lights.

922
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we shut the door in, left her

923
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:23,879
Speaker 2: hair there.

924
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 3: She's here tonight with me and our dad. So growing

925
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 3: up in middle school, I did get started a little younger.

926
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 3: You might have heard like I got dust on acid

927
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,080
Speaker 3: when I was I don't know, eleven, I think, And

928
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:41,239
Speaker 3: then that was a crazy story. You did that on

929
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 3: a live in Brooklyn, Brooklyn. Yeah, And my mom heard

930
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 3: it and she was like, well, we need to have

931
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 3: a conversation. I'm like, well that was thirty nine years ago,

932
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 3: so that was okay. So but I got invited to

933
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 3: a party and my best friend at the time smoked

934
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 3: weed and we were kids, we were twelve thirty, and

935
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:02,799
Speaker 3: I would get rid to these birthday parties. I got

936
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,840
Speaker 3: rid of this one, and the girl who's like twelfth

937
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 3: birthday was stormed right up and she goes, do you

938
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 3: have weed on you?

939
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 2: I go no, She goes, you can't come in if

940
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 2: you have weed. I go, I don't.

941
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,720
Speaker 3: I've never had weed. She goes, do you have sour grass?

942
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 3: And I go, no, I don't have sour grass. And

943
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 3: I still have never had that that night, so they

944
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:23,600
Speaker 3: didn't let me come into the party because they thought

945
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 3: I was going to deal drugs twelve years old. So

946
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 3: that night they played the TV series It, the original

947
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 3: It with Pennywise, the clown, and the one girl who

948
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 3: was so scared and turned her back to the TV.

949
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:40,239
Speaker 3: They took her to a tree and duct taped her

950
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 3: to it, and the whole school found out, and they

951
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: had a parent teacher conference about taping a girl to

952
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 3: a tree because she wouldn't watch it.

953
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god. All right.

954
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,879
Speaker 2: She is now in the Senate and she is very good.

955
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 2: She's very good.

956
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:58,320
Speaker 3: It's Barbara mccolsky's who I'm talking about. She's been retired

957
00:49:58,360 --> 00:49:58,839
Speaker 3: for a long time.

958
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 1: In high school, my friend and I dressed in all

959
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 1: black walkie talkies, cool masks and all and stole ten

960
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 1: baby Jesus is from suburban outdoor mangers.

961
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,839
Speaker 2: That's it. I may have done that too.

962
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 1: We decorated our friend's tree with them.

963
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty good, Pretty good.

964
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: We made the local newspaper a few days later Mystery

965
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: Bandits steal Precious Baby, Jesus is from homes.

966
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 2: In the middle of the night.

967
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.

968
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 2: That's fine. You're absolved.

969
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 3: And also Jesus forgives you're gonna be okay. That says

970
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,280
Speaker 3: like main thing is you say I'm sorry? He says, okay.

971
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 3: All my favorites and bookmarks on my phone are just porn.

972
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 3: That's fine. It's your phone. If you pay for it,

973
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 3: that's fine. You're absolved. And this is also looks like

974
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:58,960
Speaker 3: a woman's handwriting, just to say, just to say women

975
00:50:59,080 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 3: have seen porn to.

976
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 6: On.

977
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: This one's gonna make Philly. This one's gonna make Philly furious.

978
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 2: We don't.

979
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:22,400
Speaker 1: I want Pittsburgh to win the battle gross Uh?

980
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:24,479
Speaker 2: Two more? One more? You gotta winner.

981
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: One more?

982
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

983
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,919
Speaker 1: About about three months ago, I accidentally became a DOM

984
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:40,279
Speaker 1: and that one signed is it the is it the

985
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 1: person I met last night?

986
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 3: What? I just recognize her name. I didn't meet a

987
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 3: DOM last night. I can only sleep if I get

988
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 3: smacked on my ass. Then you put your dick on it.

989
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 3: That's gonna be tough. You know, a airplane or sleeper

990
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 3: car on a train. I read it exactly right, didn't

991
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:21,359
Speaker 3: I I read every word correctly. Imagine it happening every night. Well,

992
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 3: sweet dreams, honey, sweet dreams. Thanks guy, I just met

993
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 3: at Pizza Hut. But just the putting the dick on it. Mm,

994
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:40,399
Speaker 3: good night, sweet Prince, my Prince of New Igland. Okay,

995
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:44,240
Speaker 3: longest bananas who came from the furthest away for this show,

996
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:46,560
Speaker 3: not just to visit Philly and all the sights and

997
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 3: smells Connecticut's good?

998
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 2: That's good. Well, that's gonna win for the show. That's good. Okay,

999
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 2: that's one.

1000
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:06,880
Speaker 3: Wait can anybody Pete or Lamb? That sounded so far away?

1001
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 3: That sound like they were in New Jersey. They're facetiming.

1002
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 3: Can anybody? Can anybody be Cleveland?

1003
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,359
Speaker 2: How far up? That's far?

1004
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 1: That's pretty far. Oh that's tough. Is it anybody else?

1005
00:53:24,640 --> 00:53:31,320
Speaker 3: Nebraska? Why are people shitting on Nebraska so hard? Also,

1006
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,120
Speaker 3: it's amazing we have a man at our show. This

1007
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 3: is incredible.

1008
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:38,479
Speaker 1: By wait, wait, but he's a man. He that means

1009
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 1: maybe he's just from Nebraska.

1010
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 2: Yeah there, maybe don't know the rules.

1011
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 1: Did you come from Nebraska for bananas? This show?

1012
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,560
Speaker 3: Specifically? Okay, thank you for your honesty. It's a very

1013
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:51,760
Speaker 3: honest suspicions.

1014
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 1: We're right.

1015
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 2: Orlando and Cleveland.

1016
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 1: Cleveland. Is Cleveland farther than upstate in New York? Is

1017
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:00,799
Speaker 1: it upstate New York?

1018
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:01,399
Speaker 2: Big?

1019
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right, all right.

1020
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 3: Cleveland here and they get this also, Kurt Cleveland, Cleveland, Orlando.

1021
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:21,360
Speaker 1: Oh wait, oh what two of you from Orlando?

1022
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:24,439
Speaker 2: Oh my god?

1023
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 1: What is your shirt? Say Curdie being Scottie? Oh my god,

1024
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 1: it's KURTI being Scotty time. That's so great. Ah, but

1025
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 1: I had a girl number two. What's your guys' names?

1026
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 6: What?

1027
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 1: Nikki and Jail? Nikki and Jill give it up for

1028
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:58,239
Speaker 1: Nicky and Jail. What are you looking for, Scotty? Yeah,

1029
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:02,479
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Oh look, Scottie, I have one in front

1030
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 1: of me, a little drunk. All right, all right, we

1031
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: do not have a lot of time.

1032
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:11,479
Speaker 2: One more, I think, uh.

1033
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we wit one more.

1034
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 2: But before we get.

1035
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,879
Speaker 3: Started, just so your parents here that you came out

1036
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 3: and did something on the count of four upwards, yell

1037
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 3: your full including middle name, one, two, three, four.

1038
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 1: I'll be upfront with you. Philadelphia. I don't think there's

1039
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 1: any way in fucking hell. Yeah, Pittsburgh, that Pittsburgh can be.

1040
00:55:46,160 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 2: No, no, yeah, I don't think so. Wow, very strange.

1041
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:03,760
Speaker 2: Somebody gave us this very strange.

1042
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:04,359
Speaker 1: Isn't that cool?

1043
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 3: Very strange? Very upsetting, as Kurt would say, very upsetting.

1044
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,360
Speaker 3: All right, all right here, let's do one more for

1045
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 3: the road. Lido shuffle this shit. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm

1046
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 3: killer one, killer one. I got a pretty good one.

1047
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:22,319
Speaker 1: I don't know your story? Is your story a good

1048
00:56:22,360 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 1: one to like? End the show on does it have

1049
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: a good punch? Does it have a good punch? Right

1050
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 1: at the end?

1051
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 3: Should we just say both headlines and then we vote? Okay,

1052
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:33,400
Speaker 3: but this has never happened before. Yeah, this has never

1053
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 3: happened before.

1054
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:39,240
Speaker 1: So mine is meet the world's first publicly traded person.

1055
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 3: Oh that's pretty good. It's a crazy fucking story. Almost

1056
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 3: half of the men in America surveyed think they could

1057
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:51,920
Speaker 3: land a passenger plane right now.

1058
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:56,320
Speaker 1: All right, And I like what I like about this

1059
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 1: is that that's all the news, like, there's nothing else

1060
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:02,319
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, and then you could just get into

1061
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 1: your personal story. I feel like shit, the publicly traded

1062
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 1: person is a deep, intense concept that needs a lot

1063
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 1: of explaining. So I say, ghosts for.

1064
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 2: It, O Jay.

1065
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 1: This was sent in by Alejandro Carolina Mendoza.

1066
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 2: Thank you. It's a pretty name.

1067
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 1: It was it written by It was written by Guido.

1068
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 2: Get ready.

1069
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 3: And hold on to your best in the biz because

1070
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:36,280
Speaker 3: it This is crazy CNN Travel.

1071
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:37,480
Speaker 2: I kind of heard of it.

1072
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 3: Written by Guido Kareem, Chris Campbell, Elvira Marquez, Nanna Ike,

1073
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 3: Tim Riley, all.

1074
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 2: Of Griffin University. Who are they?

1075
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 3: It was an educational paper, okay, from Griffith University in Australia.

1076
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 3: Almost half the men they surveyed think they could land

1077
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 3: a passenger plane. Experts disagree everything you need in that title.

1078
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,600
Speaker 3: This is why these nineteen writers are the best in

1079
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 3: the bills. Picture this your nest, nestled comfortably in your seat,

1080
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 3: cruising towards a travel destination. When a flight attendant's voice

1081
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 3: breaks through the silence, Ladies and gentlemen, both pilots are incapacitated.

1082
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 3: I think this is like the Holy Roman Empire thing like,

1083
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 3: I never think about this. No you don't either, No,

1084
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,120
Speaker 3: I never thought about that. I hope the people in

1085
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:37,880
Speaker 3: the front land the plane. That's my main thing.

1086
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am.

1087
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:41,720
Speaker 3: I definitely feel like I can take a take off

1088
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:43,959
Speaker 3: in a plane. But I don't think I can.

1089
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:48,920
Speaker 1: Know what only Here's why. Here is why because during

1090
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 1: we shot this webs curios called Penelo Princess of Pets.

1091
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 1: You did about a girl who when she got her period,

1092
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:58,880
Speaker 1: found out she could talk to animals and then she

1093
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 1: decided that she needed to kill a senator in order

1094
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 1: to save the world. And Kristin Shaw was Penelope. I

1095
00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 1: played her orphan friend Kyle, who went everywhere on on

1096
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 1: on Rollie's and one of the episodes has us running

1097
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 1: away from someone and then we just run and we

1098
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: run through like multiple different backgrounds until we run onto

1099
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 1: into an airport and hop into a plane, an actual plane.

1100
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 1: So we actually shot it because her her uncle had

1101
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: a plane, uh, and it was like an old school

1102
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:32,280
Speaker 1: plane and we get in the plane and we like

1103
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 1: close it up and then we just start driving the plane.

1104
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 1: But then and then Christen goes, well, when are we

1105
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 1: going to take off? And he's like, oh, I did not.

1106
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: I think I don't. I can't fly, but I can

1107
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 1: drive it, and so then we drive a plane across country.

1108
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:48,480
Speaker 2: It was such a great bit.

1109
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:51,040
Speaker 1: But anyway, her uncle showed us how to fly like

1110
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 1: take off in the plane, and we like took off

1111
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 1: and went for a little flight, and it's very easy.

1112
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:56,240
Speaker 6: You just like.

1113
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 1: And that's it.

1114
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 3: Roughly one in three Americans thirty two percent, including nearly

1115
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 3: half of men forty six percent, or confident they could

1116
01:00:10,080 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 3: safely land a passenger plane in an emergency situation. Just

1117
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 3: one in five women say the same. The woman we

1118
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:24,720
Speaker 3: saw last night would say the same. Uh da, jump

1119
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 3: to the middle. However, we've all heard stories of passengers

1120
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 3: who at passengers who have saved the day when the

1121
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 3: pilot became unresponsive.

1122
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 2: No we haven't.

1123
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 3: Now. For instance, last year, Darren Harrison managed to land

1124
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 3: a twin engine aircraft in Florida after the pilot passed out,

1125
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:46,040
Speaker 3: with the guidance of an air traffic controller who also

1126
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:49,200
Speaker 3: happened to be a flight instructor. Again, that's like super rare,

1127
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,400
Speaker 3: yeah yah yeah. And also it's just like two engines.

1128
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:54,600
Speaker 3: That's a big difference, right from like a normal passenger plane.

1129
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 2: Yes, that's what they say.

1130
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 3: So, however, such incidents take place in small, simple aircraft.

1131
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 3: Flying a much bigger, heavier commercial jet is completely.

1132
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:04,320
Speaker 1: Different, right, But it's the same for taking off and

1133
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: I could do it yeah, I believe in you.

1134
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:11,560
Speaker 3: Make K Bieler. Make k Bieler, which is one of

1135
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 3: the greatest names I've ever heard. Is a flight instructor

1136
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 3: for the FA and a chief transportation correspondent says, it

1137
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 3: depends with guidance of the right air traffic controller. The

1138
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 3: likelihood of landing safely enough is possible. Wow, so that

1139
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:31,000
Speaker 3: should make you know, nervous flyers feel sort of better.

1140
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:34,560
Speaker 1: Pretty good. It might not be pretty, it might result

1141
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 1: in damage to the aircraft.

1142
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:37,200
Speaker 2: But it can be done.

1143
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,840
Speaker 3: All right, now, I think I can land one. Two,

1144
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 3: there's fifty percent right here. I'm just gonna like order

1145
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 3: a drink and be like, good night. Just put on

1146
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:54,480
Speaker 3: I'm gonna pretend I'm must leap. This uncommon start pops

1147
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 3: up in the news time to time, usually small planes.

1148
01:01:56,520 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 3: We heard that already. But first the passenger, Oh this

1149
01:01:59,400 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 3: is the best. Yeah, so this is may kay, Bieler says.

1150
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 3: But first the passenger has to don a headset, a

1151
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 3: headset and locate the mic in able to talk to

1152
01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:09,960
Speaker 3: on the radio to the air traffic controller. That's the

1153
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:12,680
Speaker 3: first challenge. Oh are you joking?

1154
01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:17,120
Speaker 1: Nope, put a headphones on and go and go Hello,

1155
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 1: oh man, they're like, it's a low bar. That means

1156
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 1: landing a plane is really easy.

1157
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that means anybody over the age of fifty five

1158
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 3: can't land a play. Do you ever like watch when

1159
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:33,440
Speaker 3: you're like, mom takes a photo and a phone in

1160
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 3: the face she makes that's all I look at now,

1161
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 3: it's like.

1162
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:41,080
Speaker 2: And then when you smile, she smiles. It's the pass.

1163
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,040
Speaker 3: Next time your mom takes a photo of you, watch

1164
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:43,479
Speaker 3: your face.

1165
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,080
Speaker 2: It's hilarious. Okay, Kurt, I need.

1166
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 3: A man's name, uh, Jarome Jerome, but it's like, yeah,

1167
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 3: it's Jerome, Yeah, jare Rome, And I need a woman's

1168
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:59,800
Speaker 3: name from the audience. I heard Aaron first, Jerome and

1169
01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 3: Aaron Jerome and Aaron. Okay, curty be okay, I'm going

1170
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:08,080
Speaker 3: to have to really abbreviate this fucker. Ummm. So it's

1171
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 3: Spring twenty twenty one, postcoars. A lot of people are

1172
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 3: getting the jack Yeah reason story. I'm sound asleep. It's

1173
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 3: probably about three thirty am, California time. My phone rings,

1174
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:25,120
Speaker 3: I answered, thinking it's an emergency, and it's my friend Jerome.

1175
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 3: The only other man that ever calls me is Kurt,

1176
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 3: and it's because he's really good about not texting and

1177
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:33,600
Speaker 3: driving excellent.

1178
01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:35,600
Speaker 2: He calls hands free.

1179
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 3: It's the only friend that calls me that I don't

1180
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:42,480
Speaker 3: think somebody died, because it's Kurt just being like, hey, buddy,

1181
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 3: should we buy yellow shirts.

1182
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, yes we should, Yes we should.

1183
01:03:48,440 --> 01:03:51,840
Speaker 3: Pretty accurate. So it's like three thirty am. I'm like hello,

1184
01:03:52,320 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 3: and it's Jerome and he's like, dude, I'm safe. I'm

1185
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 3: with my dog, but I need you to call my

1186
01:03:56,320 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 3: wife and tell her not to divorce me. Whoaw the

1187
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 3: wife Aaron, it's not her real name, and then he

1188
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:06,520
Speaker 3: cracks up laughing.

1189
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:07,880
Speaker 2: So this is good.

1190
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:11,240
Speaker 3: So I'm I'm like, okay, welcome back to life. Weird year,

1191
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:15,720
Speaker 3: great choar, weird year. He lives in North Carolina on

1192
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:20,439
Speaker 3: the coast. Okay, so he's so it's seven thirty am

1193
01:04:20,560 --> 01:04:25,120
Speaker 3: there or whatever. I'm like, okay. So he is married.

1194
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 3: He has three daughters lockdown. I think they had a

1195
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:32,439
Speaker 3: daughter during twenty twenty. So his lockdown was different than mine,

1196
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:35,320
Speaker 3: more similar to yours. But he was it was intense.

1197
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 3: And this is what he proceeds to tell me.

1198
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 2: What happened. His wife takes the new daughter.

1199
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 3: Everybody's vaxed now, so they're like, let's go, and he

1200
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:46,640
Speaker 3: takes three dollars and they're gonna do a weekend at

1201
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 3: the grandparents' house. So my friend Jared Rome is going

1202
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 3: to have the first night to himself in a very

1203
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 3: long time.

1204
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 1: It's a good time.

1205
01:04:56,600 --> 01:05:00,560
Speaker 2: So he's been planning this for a while. He's had

1206
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 2: some shrooms.

1207
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 1: By himself and it's a fifty to fifty on that.

1208
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 2: So they leave.

1209
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:14,160
Speaker 3: It's Friday, Aaron and the three daughters leave and Jerome

1210
01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:15,720
Speaker 3: has this all mapped out.

1211
01:05:15,800 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 2: So he drives a golf cart.

1212
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:20,080
Speaker 3: He lives on the coast, and he takes his dog,

1213
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 3: a Golden Retriever, and they break. He times it out

1214
01:05:26,640 --> 01:05:30,480
Speaker 3: to watch the sunset, ands on the beach with his dog.

1215
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:34,360
Speaker 3: Like this sounds really good, by the way, that sounds

1216
01:05:34,480 --> 01:05:38,400
Speaker 3: incredibly good. So he times it perfect. He says, it's

1217
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:41,400
Speaker 3: a slow sunset, it's around May. It's going to be

1218
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:44,040
Speaker 3: a long day. He says, it's beautiful. He's on a

1219
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:47,080
Speaker 3: blanket with his dog and the sunsets and he says

1220
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:50,200
Speaker 3: it just hits. The perfect trip is hitting in and

1221
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:52,400
Speaker 3: he lays back and he's going to watch the stars

1222
01:05:52,480 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 3: and he's in heaven, and then the dog starts barking yeah,

1223
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:02,000
Speaker 3: and he sits up, and the dog charges towards the ocean.

1224
01:06:02,920 --> 01:06:05,640
Speaker 3: And now it's getting darker, and he sees all these

1225
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:09,640
Speaker 3: dark things in the sky coming towards him. What and

1226
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:14,160
Speaker 3: he can see blinking lights and he thinks UFOs.

1227
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 2: Are coming to North Carolina.

1228
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 3: And he's calling his dog, and the dog is barking

1229
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,040
Speaker 3: at the waves, and he starts walking towards the dog,

1230
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:25,960
Speaker 3: and he seriously thinks that like he's about to see

1231
01:06:26,040 --> 01:06:28,480
Speaker 3: UFOs or he's tripping so hard he's seeing UFOs.

1232
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:29,720
Speaker 2: So he runs down.

1233
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 3: He grabs his dog's collar, and as he does, a

1234
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:35,919
Speaker 3: bunch of speedboats come over the waves, and a bunch

1235
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 3: of helicopters come over his head, and men start piling

1236
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:48,560
Speaker 3: out of boats and helicopters onto the beach. This is

1237
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:53,680
Speaker 3: your nightmare when you're tripping by yourself on a beach

1238
01:06:53,880 --> 01:06:58,680
Speaker 3: and a military invasion begins happening. So he thinks China

1239
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:05,120
Speaker 3: is attacking the United States. He picks up all around

1240
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:14,959
Speaker 3: into Hilton Head, North Carolina. Brussia bypassed Europe and came

1241
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:18,480
Speaker 3: and got us. So he picks up his golden retriever

1242
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:22,240
Speaker 3: which must weigh ninety pounds, and ditches his golf cart

1243
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:25,680
Speaker 3: and runs for his life. He said he spent the

1244
01:07:25,840 --> 01:07:29,320
Speaker 3: rest of the night hiding in his neighborhood with his

1245
01:07:29,560 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 3: dog in his arms. He thought we were being invaded.

1246
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:40,600
Speaker 3: He finally gets to his house at sun up. He

1247
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 3: knows the code for his garage. His trip has been fading,

1248
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:45,800
Speaker 3: so he gets in his house and that's when he

1249
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:48,920
Speaker 3: called me, says, tell my wife not to divorce me.

1250
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 3: So I call Aaron, who is also a friend of

1251
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,680
Speaker 3: mine for many years, and I go, hey, it's Scott,

1252
01:07:54,720 --> 01:07:55,600
Speaker 3: and she goes, what's wrong.

1253
01:07:55,680 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 1: I go, don't divorce Jerome. She goes, gee, Jesus Christ,

1254
01:08:00,640 --> 01:08:00,840
Speaker 1: did he.

1255
01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:05,920
Speaker 3: Call you to I go, yes, she goes, I was

1256
01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:09,200
Speaker 3: talking to him two hours ago before our daughters got up,

1257
01:08:09,280 --> 01:08:12,520
Speaker 3: and he just said I love you about five hundred times.

1258
01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:16,840
Speaker 1: That's a delightful person, and then hung up the phone.

1259
01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:18,360
Speaker 2: So what did Aaron do?

1260
01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:25,160
Speaker 3: She checked their ring cameras and she saw Jerome running

1261
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:28,240
Speaker 3: around the house with their dog in their arms for

1262
01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:36,320
Speaker 3: forty five minutes. So she said, Scotty, don't worry. I'm

1263
01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:38,240
Speaker 3: not going to divorce him for being a jackass.

1264
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:40,000
Speaker 2: Do you know what was on. I goes, he was

1265
01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:42,519
Speaker 2: on shroom. She goes, that's fine, He's a fucking idiot.

1266
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:45,120
Speaker 6: What was it?

1267
01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:45,800
Speaker 2: What was it?

1268
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 1: So there is this thing and I gotta find exactly

1269
01:08:49,439 --> 01:08:49,840
Speaker 1: what it is.

1270
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:52,840
Speaker 3: But basically in North Carolina and a couple are places

1271
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 3: on the coast, when the Navy seals land on.

1272
01:08:56,160 --> 01:09:00,599
Speaker 2: The beach, they used this unit that they the boat.

1273
01:09:00,680 --> 01:09:03,080
Speaker 3: They drive the boats up and they launched Navy seals

1274
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:08,400
Speaker 3: and they were doing a practice run. So my buddy,

1275
01:09:11,880 --> 01:09:15,080
Speaker 3: my friend was there when they were doing a dummy

1276
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:19,240
Speaker 3: practice run of how they were launched a platoon, I

1277
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:21,320
Speaker 3: don't know, a squad of Navy seals.

1278
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:26,880
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that you have two friends who have taken.

1279
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:31,439
Speaker 6: Shrooms and seen a Navy seal launches, and then another

1280
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:36,000
Speaker 6: one who's taken acid and hugged himanatee who then dissolved

1281
01:09:36,120 --> 01:09:37,040
Speaker 6: in his arms.

1282
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:46,320
Speaker 1: That is amazing. And this has been Banetta. You're Philadelphia, thanks.

1283
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:48,280
Speaker 1: Save Let's.

1284
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:03,240
Speaker 2: Bananas is an exactly right media production.

1285
01:10:03,439 --> 01:10:05,599
Speaker 1: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.

1286
01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:09,280
Speaker 3: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.

1287
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:12,920
Speaker 1: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard, and.

1288
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:16,040
Speaker 3: Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgarriff and Georgia

1289
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:16,599
Speaker 3: Hartstart

1290
01:10:16,720 --> 01:10:19,439
Speaker 1: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot

1291
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:19,960
Speaker 1: intern