Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow.
Speaker 1: We're here, We're here.
Speaker 2: I want to just I want to say up top
Speaker 2: that the energy is amazingly. I have never been more
Speaker 2: excited to see your beautiful, wonderful face. I'm I'm so
Speaker 2: happy to hear your.
Speaker 1: Voice, Sydney.
Speaker 2: Oh and there's a fire truck going behind me. Were
Speaker 2: the devil is always always working? Of course I said
Speaker 2: something positive and the Satan.
Speaker 3: Was like.
Speaker 1: The devil was like, oh you want some positive energy? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: burned the whole blockdown. Yeah, Sydney, I like, I like,
Speaker 1: what's happening here? I think you're you're giving me multiple
Speaker 1: orgasm glow. That's what I feel like I'm getting from
Speaker 1: your friend.
Speaker 2: No not, I'm just here trying to be good to
Speaker 2: a great sis of mine. I'm right right, I'm just
Speaker 2: looking at you and it's love, light and lusciousness.
Speaker 1: You're luscious, Sidney. I feel like you want this episode
Speaker 1: to be called Live Love Last. Yeah, I will I refuse.
Speaker 2: I'm just I you know, I just love being positive
Speaker 2: to you because I don't think I did enough. I
Speaker 2: don't think that I let the people know how much
Speaker 2: you are appreciated here.
Speaker 1: Wow city, did you so we today? It's even high
Speaker 1: energy as well? Is the energy marijuana?
Speaker 2: No, but where I am the marijuana is plentiful.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I like, I feel like it just come
Speaker 3: out and say it at this point, but I guess.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, I'm at an undisclosed location right now, Andrew,
Speaker 2: and I can't. I can't say where I am, but
Speaker 2: just know that I'm somewhere that's not dusty as New
Speaker 2: York City. I'm in better I'm in better places. The
Speaker 2: grass is greener over here. I wish Marie was here
Speaker 2: to be my third.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ahead and tap tap tap tap.
Speaker 2: Out, Marie.
Speaker 1: What were you an expert in this week? I want
Speaker 1: to know. I didn't know we were doing this today.
Speaker 2: I was somebody complained on the on the in the
Speaker 2: comments and said that we don't we don't do expertises anymore.
Speaker 1: But we have a whole episode that is around in
Speaker 1: expertise today, I know, complaining that we don't talk about
Speaker 1: what we're experts in.
Speaker 2: Uh huh for the week. We used to do that religiously.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess we're experts in not being prepared.
Speaker 2: Well, that's the overall theme of the podcast SYS.
Speaker 1: Well, sure, I guess I heard you. I heard you
Speaker 1: had y'all had a crazy ass day. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was a crazy daysis, but we had a
Speaker 1: nice Sunday.
Speaker 2: Okay, you want you want to tell us.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 1: First of all, Wow, my teeth look amazing, so beautiful. Yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: I wish I had my scarf for my good scarf.
Speaker 1: Oh here here you go, here you go. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: drape it over my head. But and then we'll figure
Speaker 1: it out after. But it was nice in New York
Speaker 1: this weekend, and I didn't really have anything to do
Speaker 1: because I was up all night, literally all night.
Speaker 2: You were all all night. We did we did sid
Speaker 2: Can cook and it was like I was like, Marie's here,
Speaker 2: she's here for the for the night.
Speaker 1: She spent the night. Yeah, and that's why city is
Speaker 1: in such a good mood today because I spent the
Speaker 1: night at her house. It's true.
Speaker 2: Wait, we didn't say up top that we got our
Speaker 2: coaches waxed.
Speaker 1: Oh we did not.
Speaker 2: We didn't say that.
Speaker 1: And okay, so let's talk about that being our expertise.
Speaker 1: Then this week against Sydney are experts and having smooth
Speaker 1: ass yes, very sweet. Shout out to my mom who's
Speaker 1: listening to the episode today. Hey Mom, Yeah, we went
Speaker 1: and got Brazilian Did you get a Brazilian wax?
Speaker 2: Friend? Yeah, at the front in the back gone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Me and Sydney got Brazilian waxes. And Sydney was
Speaker 1: late to the appointment. M not to point that out,
Speaker 1: but she was messaging me like better, you better not
Speaker 1: be late, beach. And then I got there and how
Speaker 1: good sister was late.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you I will be I will be
Speaker 2: late for my own death.
Speaker 1: Just letting y'all know. So you're gonna live to be
Speaker 1: one hundred and nine.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna miss my death and keep on living.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Soul. I think that's what I'm.
Speaker 2: It's about bating death.
Speaker 1: It's about being late. This is about a black man
Speaker 1: cheating death. Yeah. So Sidney, how late were you?
Speaker 4: Friend?
Speaker 1: What time did you get done? Like twenty I think
Speaker 1: I was twenty minutes. Yeah. Yeah, by the time you
Speaker 1: got there, I was already half bald and I could
Speaker 1: see one of my lips completely. For the listeners who
Speaker 1: had never gotten a Brazilian wax, they just put hot
Speaker 1: wax on your First of all, they show you the
Speaker 1: room and then they say, let me know when you're ready,
Speaker 1: and then they leave and you're in the room, like,
Speaker 1: am I supposed to take off all my clothes? Like
Speaker 1: you don't even know? Like I wasn't sure what to do.
Speaker 1: And then she knocked on the door and I still
Speaker 1: had my coat on, so I was like, well, let
Speaker 1: me take off this, and they put the hot wax
Speaker 1: on you and then they like pat it a little
Speaker 1: bit and then it dries and they ripped the whole
Speaker 1: thing off.
Speaker 2: It was insane. That was my first time getting it
Speaker 2: done and I I.
Speaker 1: Was screaming, screaming.
Speaker 2: Screaming, and I apologize to everybody who could hear. I
Speaker 2: was like, I'm so sorry. And a man was like,
Speaker 2: don't apologize, we understand, Like they just he understood. He
Speaker 2: was a great ally. He knows that wax on the
Speaker 2: couch it hurts.
Speaker 1: But when it's done, it it's not that it looks awesome.
Speaker 1: It feels awesome. You feel more aer dynamic when you
Speaker 1: walk down the street. It just feels. It feels nice.
Speaker 1: I was floating, how long does it take for it
Speaker 1: to go back? Let me check? I don't have it.
Speaker 2: I don't have anything there now, so not quick. I
Speaker 2: sometimes when I shave, literally, I'll be like, what is this?
Speaker 1: Why is this? A long?
Speaker 2: Like a long hair starts growing out immediately the next day.
Speaker 1: Yo, Have you ever pulled a long hair out of
Speaker 1: your booty crack? Yes? Yes, it's like satisfying in some word.
Speaker 2: It feels like I'm flossing, which I need sometime.
Speaker 1: I'm your cheeks. Yeah, but wait.
Speaker 2: Me and Marie were supposed to show each other our
Speaker 2: snatches and she did not, and I would love to
Speaker 2: see it.
Speaker 1: Now, Sidney, I'm sorry, did you show me yours? Well?
Speaker 1: I sid can cook, and you did not want to
Speaker 1: show me. I don't like an audience interesting you and
Speaker 1: Chris a comedian.
Speaker 2: I only want to do a solo show for one
Speaker 2: and that's you.
Speaker 1: How does the fire beach?
Speaker 2: But you know, I think Marie had on like some real,
Speaker 2: real thin leggings so through her you know, you know
Speaker 2: she has her beautiful camel too. I could tell that
Speaker 2: they did a great job.
Speaker 1: First of all, I was wearing sweatpants. Second of all,
Speaker 1: you know that God is the one who did a
Speaker 1: good job. And the lady just hooked it up a
Speaker 1: little bit. But now I'm just like, I just want
Speaker 1: people to see it. I just want to go.
Speaker 2: Show us, to show us on the chat.
Speaker 1: The guest wants to see it. You see, the light
Speaker 1: is not that good in here.
Speaker 2: Just put on the sex lamp.
Speaker 1: I gotta put the ring light on. Yes, please angle
Speaker 1: the camera a little bit. Can't you see it? It's
Speaker 1: just black? Is that a tampon stream? No Sydney sit down?
Speaker 1: I cannot believe you just met to these people and
Speaker 1: for that I too.
Speaker 2: Yo, y'all are so y'all are missing a good ass
Speaker 2: show this morning.
Speaker 1: This We can't even put this on the Patreon. You
Speaker 1: know what, we should start doing live podcasts, not live,
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, like, we should start
Speaker 1: shooting them so people can see what. Yeah, people miss that.
Speaker 1: That's wow, incredible? All right?
Speaker 2: Speaking speaking of shows, we did a phenomenal moment for
Speaker 2: our guest today, who's pretty damn.
Speaker 1: Famous basically yes, famous poppin' I.
Speaker 2: Mean infamously known for being in Nikki Fresh with Nicole Richie.
Speaker 1: Nicole Richie's best friend, The New Simple Life, The New
Speaker 1: Simple Life, that's what you are. I don't I don't
Speaker 1: even know, Marie, just just bring him in. He is
Speaker 1: our complaining expert, and that's something that Sydney claims we're
Speaker 1: experts in already, but he is the unofficial expert. Give
Speaker 1: it up for Jared Goldstein.
Speaker 4: Hi, okay, I I have zero complaints so far. I'm
Speaker 4: in heaven.
Speaker 1: But you got to see Sydney's cool.
Speaker 4: This is incredible.
Speaker 2: I just I'm sorry. The crazy thing is that it's
Speaker 2: kind of like, you know, what just happened. It's like
Speaker 2: when a guy puts his dick inside of you and
Speaker 2: you're like, is it in you? Guys just was like,
Speaker 2: is it there?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: Where is it? You were squinting. It was very it
Speaker 1: was very blick. It was blick. It was black. But
Speaker 1: the lightning also famously not good where you are, famously
Speaker 1: great weed bad lights.
Speaker 4: Why right now, right now, I'm I'm on bush, I'm
Speaker 4: all natural, but last year for the first time and
Speaker 4: second time, and hopefully soon when I'm finished being vaxed
Speaker 4: third time, I am waxing my hole and I love it.
Speaker 1: You've been waxing your hole? Well, Sidney, you waxed your hole.
Speaker 1: You that Brazilian? No, But but I didn't know.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't know that, Like guys are waxing holes.
Speaker 1: Now, you didn't know?
Speaker 3: M M.
Speaker 1: Get Andrew Andrew with his squeaky clean bootyhole. No I
Speaker 1: have not.
Speaker 3: I did sign off on the the Have you ever
Speaker 3: pulled a string out of or a hair out of
Speaker 3: your ass?
Speaker 1: A long hair? You'd be like, whose hair is there?
Speaker 3: Where did that come from? I signed up on that part,
Speaker 3: not the squeaky clean.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so great. It does.
Speaker 1: Do you want do you watch everything including the booty hole?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: You know, everything else in the front stays, stays nice
Speaker 4: and trimmed, but you know, I want to see the
Speaker 4: visual of the lands in the back. I want squeaky clean.
Speaker 4: And it's so it's so it's fun for you know,
Speaker 4: for fun stuff, but it's also just like when you wipe,
Speaker 4: it's like there's nothing there. There is nothing there, and people,
Speaker 4: you know, people that they're going to get in your
Speaker 4: head and they're going to try to drag you down
Speaker 4: and they're going to tell you, oh wait, just you wait,
Speaker 4: just you wait until the hair grows back. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: you're going to be in for it. And I was nervous.
Speaker 4: Nothing thing. The hair grows back and it just comes
Speaker 4: back and it's like hey, and you're like hey, And
Speaker 4: every time you wax your hole, the hair comes back thinner. O.
Speaker 1: Yes, wow wait what can I can't thin booty hairs? Okay? Yes,
Speaker 1: my hair is going to be like moss.
Speaker 4: Peach fuzz, you know, just a little pixie here are there?
Speaker 2: Are there people who just model their bunghole?
Speaker 1: Is that is that a thing? Bunghole? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Well it's like porn, you know, like you see porn
Speaker 4: and you see these buttholes and they just look so
Speaker 4: like bright and smooth.
Speaker 1: But people bleach their buttholes too, they do, which is interesting.
Speaker 4: Okay, here's the thing I used to not. I used
Speaker 4: to not wax, so no judgment because some people were
Speaker 4: very judged about me waxing.
Speaker 3: Uh and wait, where's the where's the judgment? Sorry, where's
Speaker 3: the judgment coming from? Like? What is like why are
Speaker 3: they judging.
Speaker 4: From hateful homessy?
Speaker 3: Like why what is the root m.
Speaker 2: Take over?
Speaker 1: Take over?
Speaker 3: Just like game manic game in? I want to know,
Speaker 3: like why are they getting mad?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I think it's like it's probably like a kin
Speaker 4: to like bottom shaming, and it's like waxing is and
Speaker 4: it's also your butthole, so you have to say whole.
Speaker 4: Even if you tell someone you did it, you have
Speaker 4: to say I waxed my whole. And that's not you know,
Speaker 4: that's not the easiest sentence today. But I am very grave.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Jared.
Speaker 4: So here i am. I'm basically the breeding expert, which,
Speaker 4: by the way, I have listened to this show every
Speaker 4: week for years. I couldn't be more excited to be here.
Speaker 4: I feel like I've won a Sweet Steaks and and
Speaker 4: they're like you know where, They're like you get can
Speaker 4: win a walk on roll on your favorite show.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is I'm sorry it took us
Speaker 2: so long that I just want to say that up top,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry it took us so long. I think we've
Speaker 2: had every fabulous gay in the industry beyond the show,
Speaker 2: and we've missed it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 4: Well, yeahs worth the way.
Speaker 6: And look at you sharing right up top, up top,
Speaker 6: not even you sharing proper butthole waxing information that the
Speaker 6: community needs.
Speaker 4: Honestly, well, look Sydney shared with us.
Speaker 2: Don't forget who did it first. Don't forget.
Speaker 1: Jared. First of all, how the hell are you doing
Speaker 1: I know you're very busy. I see you on primetime
Speaker 1: TV things. I see you working out there. You working.
Speaker 4: Mmm, yeah, yeah. We're doing the best that we can,
Speaker 4: and it's been pretty good. Honestly, it's like it's been
Speaker 4: better than then then before. When it was it used
Speaker 4: to be easier to avoid trying to be on TV,
Speaker 4: you know, because you could just do stand up, you
Speaker 4: could just like do all these other things. And then
Speaker 4: when everything went away, it was like, well, fuck, now
Speaker 4: I really really really really really have to try to be.
Speaker 1: Now I have to.
Speaker 4: So I started taking Yeah, yeah, so I started taking
Speaker 4: fucking zoom acting classes. Who I actually just before here,
Speaker 4: I had a zoom acting rehearsal. It was a nightmare.
Speaker 4: My teacher gave me a scene from Call Me by
Speaker 4: Your Name.
Speaker 1: Yes, the most What was the scene? Can you give
Speaker 1: us a little clue? Yes?
Speaker 4: I don't even I have three lines?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well give us your best three lines, babe.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, hold they are and we want.
Speaker 1: You to get into it though, right into it. Okay,
Speaker 1: So one two.
Speaker 7: Action I think he did. Yeah, Oliver was Oliver. Oliver
Speaker 7: may be very intelligent. And then this is when I
Speaker 7: start crying.
Speaker 4: I think he was better for me. And then my
Speaker 4: last line is does my thing? Wow?
Speaker 1: Wow? I see it. It was moving. I moved. I
Speaker 1: felt the tear.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you felt it, and that is what zoom acting teaching.
Speaker 2: Can you wait? Can you give us the link? Should
Speaker 2: we sign up? Should we sign up? Maries come to
Speaker 2: the class.
Speaker 1: I would love to take this acting class because I
Speaker 1: need to learn how to book things as well.
Speaker 4: Honestly, it's it sounds really bad, but it's like, could
Speaker 4: it be any worse than a regular acting class? No,
Speaker 4: it can't. And it's better because you don't have to
Speaker 4: go anywhere, and when you're watching, like the scene you hate,
Speaker 4: you can just walk away.
Speaker 2: Plus plus it's like regular acting class, but you have
Speaker 2: all your favorite snacks in your house already. It's like
Speaker 2: regular acting class, but.
Speaker 4: Not.
Speaker 2: It's not like you're regular because you are comfortable in
Speaker 2: your home. Sometimes when I go to these like classes,
Speaker 2: which I've only been to one, if you're in front
Speaker 2: of all these people and it's feels very like stressful,
Speaker 2: but yeah, when you're in your own home, it's just
Speaker 2: is something. It's a lot more lax.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't even have to have own pens.
Speaker 4: The zoom auditions too. I mean it's like you're in charge.
Speaker 4: You know, how nervous can you be? It's like I'm
Speaker 4: at home.
Speaker 1: I still got nervous before like a zoo a zoom
Speaker 1: callback or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Notice I said call back, not get like butterflies.
Speaker 1: Here you go.
Speaker 2: That's a flex. She's close to booking, baby, close, she's books.
Speaker 1: Like, she's like five steps from booking.
Speaker 2: It's already. She's No, you're one step. All you gotta
Speaker 2: do is hop in there, Babe. You're there, yes, yes, yes?
Speaker 2: Is you gotta hop in there? Plus you notice there's
Speaker 2: a there's a chemistry test.
Speaker 1: It's a lot. We don't want to bore the people
Speaker 1: with the acting details.
Speaker 4: Well, we love the Smeirnoff there.
Speaker 1: The voiceovers are fun because I don't have to I'm
Speaker 1: sitting literally right here, and I'm like America.
Speaker 2: And you just did that from your And Marie has
Speaker 2: one of the best voices, one of the best voices in.
Speaker 1: Iconic fun fact, I just recorded an ad for Skinny
Speaker 1: Pop too. Look at that skinny.
Speaker 2: Yes, making money, Marie?
Speaker 4: Can I tell you before? Right before Pandemic last year,
Speaker 4: I got a voiceover agent and I was like I
Speaker 4: have done voiceover jobs here and there throughout my life
Speaker 4: since I.
Speaker 1: Was a kid.
Speaker 4: But my like ratio of voiceover audition to booking is
Speaker 4: so much higher than the ratio for like, you know,
Speaker 4: like acting. So I got an agent and I was
Speaker 4: so excited and I was like, we're gonna We're gonna
Speaker 4: hit this and I'm gonna make so much money. And
Speaker 4: then the pandemic started and it was like, great, we can.
Speaker 4: I can keep doing this from home and it's not
Speaker 4: going to stop me. I auditioned for so many things.
Speaker 4: I have not booked one voiceover job. I have for
Speaker 4: a year, like sixty a year. Nothing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there they come.
Speaker 2: There's so much more voiceover auditions, I think than regular auditions.
Speaker 1: To those, it is just more.
Speaker 2: And also it's like you and then Keiki Palmer, so
Speaker 2: they're gonna go with Keky Palmer.
Speaker 1: Nosa Ray, I think is the new voice of Google.
Speaker 1: So you know, it's also Issa okay and other people
Speaker 1: who they're like sound like this. And also Oprah Winfrey
Speaker 1: is still booking voice things, so don't do that, Okay.
Speaker 2: Well it's it's black women thriving and I love to
Speaker 2: see it. So I'll never be mad at that, but
Speaker 2: you know what, I will be mad at everything else.
Speaker 1: I'm everything else.
Speaker 2: I'm fucking tired. I'm tired, Jared. Let's get into complaining, bitch, let's.
Speaker 1: Go, please please.
Speaker 4: Complaining gets such a bad rap. It is good, It
Speaker 4: is a good thing to do. It is an it
Speaker 4: is it is an. If I didn't complain every day,
Speaker 4: I would be lying to you by omission. And look,
Speaker 4: I've got a big, gorgeous brain, and I am capable
Speaker 4: of having many thoughts and feelings at one time, and
Speaker 4: at one time I can feel very grateful to be
Speaker 4: where I am, and at that same time, I can
Speaker 4: also be so fucking annoyed by everything around me, and
Speaker 4: those are not mutually exclusive. So I want to see
Speaker 4: a world where we embrace complaining. We let people vent,
Speaker 4: We give them space to acknowledge what's going on around them,
Speaker 4: and not villainize them as being ing villainize negative.
Speaker 1: So what are some things that you're complaining about recently? Oh? Sorry, Sydney,
Speaker 1: what was you going?
Speaker 2: I said, there is the difference between venting and complaining.
Speaker 2: They're really venting if you're getting something off your chest complaining,
Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like venting. You're like, hey,
Speaker 2: can I can I talk to you about something for
Speaker 2: a moment, Like I gotta get something off my chest.
Speaker 2: Like you, you have that prelude to whatever you're about
Speaker 2: to say. That's negative complaining. You just off the dome,
Speaker 2: riff riff raft, don't give a fuck who's around. You're
Speaker 2: like bad, bad, bad bad, and the energy is off.
Speaker 2: There's it's different. There's a difference. I think, Okay, so
Speaker 2: was the boy is mine?
Speaker 1: The song? Them complaining or them venting? Because can I
Speaker 1: talk to you for a moment?
Speaker 2: It's venting that she excuse me, let me talk to
Speaker 2: you for a moment.
Speaker 1: That's venting.
Speaker 2: She's approaching, she's approaching you, and she's like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: gotta say. When somebody says can I talk to you
Speaker 2: for a moment, they're about to hit you with a
Speaker 2: wham bam, thank you, ma'am. They're about to knock you out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me talk to you for a minute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're about to say something that you're that you're not
Speaker 1: gonna like.
Speaker 2: It's never good.
Speaker 4: No, Yeah, Sidney, you bring up a very good point.
Speaker 4: There is a very important clause in going and that
Speaker 4: is you need to find the right person you need to. Like,
Speaker 4: It's like when you're on the group thread, maybe that's
Speaker 4: not the place to complain, but then you break off
Speaker 4: into the subgroup thread with just two other people, that's
Speaker 4: where you complain. So it's very important. Like you don't
Speaker 4: want to complain on a set, You don't want to
Speaker 4: complain in a professional setting, but you you want to
Speaker 4: complain in a safe space so you can get out
Speaker 4: and then you can return back to your public life
Speaker 4: with a.
Speaker 2: Smile, right, because you do want to do it in
Speaker 2: a small with like a smaller audience. You want to
Speaker 2: do it with one person. I feel like you're either
Speaker 2: on the.
Speaker 1: Phone not in the comments that or you're on the
Speaker 1: phone complaining about something to your manager or your mom
Speaker 1: or your best friend. And then you come back out
Speaker 1: and you're like, but I like complaining. Oh that's not true.
Speaker 2: I don't love complaining, Yeah, Marie, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think.
Speaker 2: But when you talk, it doesn't sound like you're complaining.
Speaker 2: It really does feel like you're getting something off your chest. Okay,
Speaker 2: maybe I'm maybe I'm biased because when I hear you talk,
Speaker 2: all I hear is like little birds chirping, and like
Speaker 2: you know, Beauty and the Beast music playing in the background.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Sidney, Beauty and the Beast was playing. Yeah, Sidney,
Speaker 1: do you think you complain a lot to my friends?
Speaker 2: Yes, Like Jared, you're saying it should be like very
Speaker 2: limited exclusive, you should like tone it down in front
Speaker 2: of like strangers or the masses. But yeah, when I
Speaker 2: get one on ones, I could I could go off
Speaker 2: on a rip, which just like this is not going well.
Speaker 2: I'm upset at this and not talking about my blessings enough.
Speaker 1: Not talking about your blessings enough. Okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, do you ever feel like complaining helps you, Like,
Speaker 4: once you get it out, then you can start talking
Speaker 4: about your blessings, Like it helps you get back to
Speaker 4: your blessings because you just get the thing that's in
Speaker 4: front of you that's just irritating you. You embrace it,
Speaker 4: you acknowledge it, you release it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's almost like you have to talk yourself into
Speaker 1: a circle about how you hate everything.
Speaker 2: It's not going well, your life is crap. The thing
Speaker 2: is not going to get enough likes, and they're like, but.
Speaker 1: At least I have a job. What an amazing opportunity?
Speaker 1: Like you complain yourself into.
Speaker 2: Like No, that's venting. That's venting because when you vent
Speaker 2: to a friend, they are the person to check you
Speaker 2: and be like, no, bitch, this is like you're doing great,
Speaker 2: don't what about this?
Speaker 1: What about you?
Speaker 2: But you just got that, or like, don't worry about this,
Speaker 2: something else is coming. But when you complain, I think
Speaker 2: you kind of sound like a broken record. And usually
Speaker 2: people don't stop you. Eventually, they just stop answering your calls,
Speaker 2: they stop texting.
Speaker 1: You, they mute you, they block you.
Speaker 2: People's steak.
Speaker 4: My mom always picks up okay, Sidney, my mom always.
Speaker 1: What's your mom's name?
Speaker 2: Sharon Sharon, Sharon.
Speaker 1: Sharon, Sharon's picking up the phone. I love it. I
Speaker 1: love that for Sharon. I like that for you guys. Yeah, Sharon, Jared.
Speaker 4: We do it for each other. We do it for
Speaker 4: each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I feel like the older you get, the
Speaker 1: more you complain. The older you get, the more you complain.
Speaker 1: It's about stuff that like you're like, wait, that's that
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, Like, well, I want to the supermarket, and
Speaker 1: let me tell you what this dumb ass cashier did.
Speaker 1: She tries me, She tried me for the organic kale,
Speaker 1: but I had the regular kale right, and I'm looking
Speaker 1: at this bitch and it's like the story is dumb,
Speaker 1: the story is terrible. Like that's what all people do.
Speaker 1: They complain about how everybodies feel. They complain about I
Speaker 1: don't know, whatever the weather, and then they complain about.
Speaker 4: Having How are our bodies feeling? Are we like our
Speaker 4: joints are like? Lower back? Are we feeling good?
Speaker 1: Marie? You know as you said that my backstor my
Speaker 1: body was like, you know what, yeah, beach, we hurt?
Speaker 1: Why is my backstore? I don't know. Actually, I think it's.
Speaker 4: Hard because we're home a lot and we're on a
Speaker 4: couch a lot. So the lower back is the first thing, but.
Speaker 1: It's it's my shoulders, my upper back. This background is cute.
Speaker 1: Do you got a little tree in the back for us?
Speaker 7: What is this?
Speaker 1: Where do you live?
Speaker 4: Is?
Speaker 1: Are you in a den? Are you in a sunken
Speaker 1: living room? What's this?
Speaker 3: This is?
Speaker 4: This is my living this is my living room. Let
Speaker 4: me show you.
Speaker 1: I see you have a white couch.
Speaker 4: Okay, so oh wow, that's where the do you live?
Speaker 1: Dude?
Speaker 4: I'm yeah, I know where.
Speaker 2: I know you're in LA. It's clear that you're in
Speaker 2: a home. It doesn't look like a random apartment.
Speaker 1: Okay, little accent wall.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a little accent wall.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 4: Okay, wow, got a cute little setup. Yeah, I've been
Speaker 4: here as long as I've lived in LA.
Speaker 1: I feel like you.
Speaker 2: Why would you complain if you look at you? You
Speaker 2: got an upstairs and downstairs, the nerve of you, the
Speaker 2: nerve of you having anything, and you.
Speaker 1: Have all your hair. So let's talk what you got
Speaker 1: to complain about you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have abs. Didn't even know that until you
Speaker 2: were on Alex's English Live. Didn't even know you had
Speaker 2: a body like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's new.
Speaker 1: It's about the new ABS smell. So is my hair
Speaker 1: my hair? Yeah, Sydney's new hair, my new hair. My
Speaker 1: new hair still has the tag on it. Thank you.
Speaker 4: I find little things to complain about.
Speaker 1: Let's come, let's complain.
Speaker 4: My ankle hurts, my lower back hurts.
Speaker 2: What else?
Speaker 4: The zoom acting rehearsal was annoying, boring, Keep going, keep going, people.
Speaker 1: You complain about people.
Speaker 4: I do less, so because I'm around less people now,
Speaker 4: Generally I would say you're lying.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you're on You're on social media enough
Speaker 2: that I know there's people in there. That's fucking getting
Speaker 2: on your nerves. I know you're complaining about some people
Speaker 2: that you that you follow. Look at your look at
Speaker 2: your face. Come on you now, if you've listened to
Speaker 2: this podcast, you know it's messy. Don't come over here
Speaker 2: talking about Oh I don't games, blah blah blah, like
Speaker 2: we want I want that, like sirloin cut, Like come on, now,
Speaker 2: what we complain about? Who we complain about. Let's let's
Speaker 2: go in.
Speaker 1: We want to complain with your friend.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna complain here. I'm not going to say
Speaker 2: the name of this show. But there's a show. There's
Speaker 2: a show that all they do is book their friends.
Speaker 2: It's a it's a it's a great show. I think
Speaker 2: it's amazing, but they only book their friends. And I
Speaker 2: think the people on there are amazing, but it's a
Speaker 2: it's a very white show. It's a very white show.
Speaker 3: For a second.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 4: The book.
Speaker 2: Our friends are very our friends very diverse. We have
Speaker 2: all types of friends here. We've hit We've hit like
Speaker 2: every angle, every corner of the fucking room. The show,
Speaker 2: it's a great show. Critically acclaim amazing show. The show
Speaker 2: is on a great network now, but they only book
Speaker 2: their friends of the Beige Persuasion. And I mean, I
Speaker 2: think I got I have not even got an audition
Speaker 2: for it yet. And the the black people that I
Speaker 2: have known then had an audition, they were like, you're
Speaker 2: not a You're just it's just not the fit.
Speaker 1: It's like, what that's right?
Speaker 2: I heard you called me a nigga. What do you
Speaker 2: mean what do you mean it's not a fit?
Speaker 1: Okay, Sydney, Yes, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna complain to, Okay,
Speaker 1: complain on something. This is just trying to I'm trying
Speaker 1: to warm you know. Okay, make this a safe space.
Speaker 1: I hate those tiny flies that be in your house.
Speaker 1: You don't know where they come from. They're like tiny,
Speaker 1: naw and they just and all they do is like.
Speaker 2: Fly right by your eyes or right by your ears,
Speaker 2: and it's like, look, how much space is in here
Speaker 2: that you can do your dumb ass fly things.
Speaker 1: You could rub your dumb ass fly hands together. Why
Speaker 1: are you disclose to my face? That's what they're called gnats.
Speaker 2: Yeah, with gnats with a G. The G is silence,
Speaker 2: thank your friend.
Speaker 1: Good nets.
Speaker 3: That's the Sydney fact of the day.
Speaker 4: The worst when they fly by your ear and then
Speaker 4: you suddenly just.
Speaker 2: And you're like, Murray, I love you. I was dragging
Speaker 2: a show that our friends are on and I was
Speaker 2: talking about the low key racism and you hit us
Speaker 2: with NAT's all right.
Speaker 1: Well, I think I think racism. I think racism is
Speaker 1: real heavy right now. Okay, you're right, NATS is very
Speaker 1: relatable because we've all had show right, this is the range.
Speaker 1: If your thing is the is the Mariah Carey whistle?
Speaker 1: Note mine is you know the this is the Tony Braxton. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: So I'm giving Jared hit us somewhere in the middle now.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: I can. I will second the audacity of these all
Speaker 4: white lineups. I'm seeing a lot of them in inst stories.
Speaker 4: And it's crazy to think like all the all like
Speaker 4: the checks and balances that we think that we're all
Speaker 4: putting ourselves through these days to make sure that like
Speaker 4: when we put on a show, we do it the
Speaker 4: right way when we you know, just anything that we
Speaker 4: put out there were kind of go through like let's
Speaker 4: make sure this, and one of those things is often
Speaker 4: can let's make sure that it's diverse, and then you
Speaker 4: see other people just not doing that at all, and
Speaker 4: you're like, it's kind of insulting me in the same world. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's like it's really it's really really wild, but it makes.
Speaker 1: Me feel bad.
Speaker 2: It makes me feel bad because sometimes I'll I'll have
Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, we booked like I don't know,
Speaker 2: like three black people in a row on Unofficial Expert
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, oh, do we need to reach
Speaker 2: out and get more? And it's just like, well, why
Speaker 2: why am I feeling bad considering We've done this show
Speaker 2: for years and we've we've hit so many people up right,
Speaker 2: But I will feel bad if I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: thinking that we only had we booked three black people
Speaker 2: in a row.
Speaker 1: This is not good. Really, three black people in a
Speaker 1: row is not good. That's news to me, I know.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: Then I'll hit you with a name and you're like really,
Speaker 1: and it's like, yeah, I think we got to switch
Speaker 1: it up. I'll be like I'd be like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: that's a problematic, fave.
Speaker 4: But here's something a friend of mine their birth past
Speaker 4: and they had like a gathering for it and it
Speaker 4: was one of those like low pressure but like low
Speaker 4: KEI not like you should be there. And at the time,
Speaker 4: I didn't have a car, and I I've since gotten
Speaker 4: a twenty eleven with one hundred and fourteen thousand miles.
Speaker 1: I don't know, is that a lot of miles.
Speaker 4: I've no idea that's a lot.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you're speaking another language.
Speaker 1: I don't get it right. I'm like, I'm like, great
Speaker 1: as two thousand and eleven.
Speaker 4: I know it's a language I just learned. I've been
Speaker 4: in La for ten years and I've never had a
Speaker 4: car until truly.
Speaker 1: Like, oh wow, congratulations.
Speaker 4: I was like thank you. This was like about like
Speaker 4: a month or so ago. And I was like kind
Speaker 4: of like hemming and hawing over like God, like should
Speaker 4: I go? I should go? But if I don't go,
Speaker 4: they're gonna disappointed and like they're they're just like they're
Speaker 4: such like they're they're just doing so well as like
Speaker 4: a Caucasian family. God forbid, I should get a boyfriend
Speaker 4: and ask my friends to pay.
Speaker 3: For Is the event like inside or outside or is that.
Speaker 4: It's it's outside? It's outside? But this was still like
Speaker 4: peak second Wave and I'd have to take.
Speaker 2: An uber and I was like doing that, like I did,
Speaker 2: they make you feel bad.
Speaker 4: So basically, well, here's what I was like, you know what,
Speaker 4: I'm not going to be able to make it, but
Speaker 4: I would love to send something, send like a little dessert.
Speaker 4: And then my friend was like, what are you going
Speaker 4: to send? And I was like, I was thinking donuts
Speaker 4: from this like great donut place. And then and then
Speaker 4: they were like, no, that's not good for the kids.
Speaker 4: And I was like and they were like and then
Speaker 4: I was like, well then what what do you think
Speaker 4: I should get them? And then they were like he
Speaker 4: likes candles?
Speaker 2: He does, so you they want you to get him
Speaker 2: a Joma loan, a job alone candle.
Speaker 1: Are you pulling these fucking kids? No, that was not
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 4: I spent seventy dollars getting a fancy candle, one candle
Speaker 4: driven to their place.
Speaker 1: Driven so you paid for the candle, then had to
Speaker 1: put it in an uber.
Speaker 4: There's like an app. There's like an app for.
Speaker 2: Like reason no, Jared, you can get that's insane.
Speaker 4: And I just I sucked it up and I did it.
Speaker 4: And then also when the candle got there, it was
Speaker 4: not it was like I let them know, like the
Speaker 4: candle's there. I didn't hear back for like maybe half
Speaker 4: an hour, and then it was like a like a
Speaker 4: little message that wasn't like Okay, I'm gonna go get
Speaker 4: it or something. And then it was like two hours
Speaker 4: later that I get a message that was like I
Speaker 4: don't see the candle. It's not here, and I'm like, wait,
Speaker 4: I just sent seventy dollars on this candle, like go,
Speaker 4: You're gonna find that fucking candle. And then I talked
Speaker 4: to the delivery and there they send me a picture
Speaker 4: of the candle on the ground and I'm like, the
Speaker 4: candle's there. Two seconds I'm like freaking out. I'm so pissed.
Speaker 4: Two seconds later, I get a message found it, thank you,
Speaker 4: And I'm like, you couldn't just look for like two
Speaker 4: minutes longer and save me this like mini minutes of
Speaker 4: like yeah, of like going through the drama of it.
Speaker 4: This is the best that I can do. And I'm
Speaker 4: not gonna like just I'm not going to just like
Speaker 4: beat myself up the whole way about it, feeling like
Speaker 4: I should have went, I should have done this, I
Speaker 4: should have shown up, I should have did.
Speaker 3: I feel like the best that you can do is
Speaker 3: like a lot, like seventy dollars candle. No, that is like, wait,
Speaker 3: how big is the candle? How long does it burn? For?
Speaker 1: Thank you Andrew? Real question.
Speaker 4: It's like it wasn't a boy smells, but it basically
Speaker 4: was like a boys It was like that kind.
Speaker 1: Of like that contain.
Speaker 4: It was called like Paris or something, so it probably
Speaker 4: would last.
Speaker 2: That candle was not for them. It was for the
Speaker 2: fucking adults.
Speaker 1: You know that, right, you should have No, you should
Speaker 1: have got a you should have got a Marshall's candle.
Speaker 1: No can is asking for a candle? Yeah, you could
Speaker 1: have went to Home Goods for it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, are these Lisa but Lisa Bon Lisa b babies?
Speaker 1: Like who are these kids? Right? Was it Britney's kids?
Speaker 2: It was not.
Speaker 4: It was not, but maybe you know, like you know,
Speaker 4: maybe in ten years that might be the situation.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm here for that. I'm here.
Speaker 2: No, not here for that, but I'm like, yes, complain
Speaker 2: about the people who have families.
Speaker 1: It's a lot.
Speaker 2: It's especially in a pandemic, like I can't I can't
Speaker 2: do your kids all the time. I can't do the birthdays,
Speaker 2: I can't do these holidays. It's it's I'm a single person. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: just because I'm single.
Speaker 4: I have relinquished, are you sing? I have relinquished responsibility
Speaker 4: to learn and remember everyone's kids' names, because at this
Speaker 4: point there are so many of them, and I'm just like,
Speaker 4: we're giving it to God. I'm not going to remember
Speaker 4: all your kids' names. I'm not gonna remember other birthdays.
Speaker 4: I'm not a bad person that Those are three true sentences.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna remember your kids' names. I'm not gonna
Speaker 4: remember their birthday.
Speaker 1: That's a good little affirmation right there. Yeah, let's talk
Speaker 1: about people with happy families. Happy people with families, because
Speaker 1: that's that we can complain about them right now, because
Speaker 1: especially the families that they all wear the same outfit
Speaker 1: in different sizes, and then they line up in a
Speaker 1: high order, and then they're like, look at me and
Speaker 1: my family and then the baby girl. It's too much
Speaker 1: Like you can be happy and do your family pinterest
Speaker 1: somewhere else. It don't gotta be all my timeline. But
Speaker 1: there are people who love that get a fence to.
Speaker 2: I'm like, these people gotta get gotta get offenced to.
Speaker 2: There's people who you have a regular main page where
Speaker 2: you post like random odds and ends, maybe your dog,
Speaker 2: maybe like maybe a nice outfit, but just like every
Speaker 2: picture is you and this brand new baby. No, I
Speaker 2: don't why do you have your baby out every single day?
Speaker 2: Out in your bandmate? The baby is out in the elements.
Speaker 2: There's homeless homeless man's particles all over in the sky.
Speaker 2: No shade to the homeless people. But I'm just saying, like,
Speaker 2: your baby is brand new, why do you have these
Speaker 2: stupid numbers? One month, two months, fifteen, fifty seventy weeks.
Speaker 1: Not even that before that when they're pregnant, they're showing
Speaker 1: us the stomach and they're like, it's a fun for
Speaker 1: the caption is the baby's the size of the peanut,
Speaker 1: and then the baby's the size of the kiwi. And
Speaker 1: then when the baby is here, every month there's a
Speaker 1: new picture and the baby's next to the month.
Speaker 3: On the chalkboard.
Speaker 1: Yeah on the ruckboard.
Speaker 2: You you didn't warn me out when the baby. The
Speaker 2: baby hasn't even gotten here, and I'm already fucking tired
Speaker 2: of your baby.
Speaker 1: I feel like there are people who are listening that
Speaker 1: do that with their kids, and we are talking about juicues.
Speaker 3: Yes, you wait, Jared, what are you doing for the
Speaker 3: birthday next year? Do you have a plan for like
Speaker 3: a gift or.
Speaker 1: What there better? The gift is not going to be there,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 4: The plan is I'm going to do my best because
Speaker 4: I've had it hasn't I've it hasn't worked. Like I'll
Speaker 4: be in situations with friends who are like getting married,
Speaker 4: and it always starts with like, oh, it's so, it's
Speaker 4: not a wedding. It's like low key, it's low key,
Speaker 4: and then by the time you get to it, it's
Speaker 4: a full blown wedding. And like I was, I was traveling,
Speaker 4: I was I was performing a college in Maryland and
Speaker 4: a friend of mine was getting.
Speaker 1: Married in the pandemic.
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm not going to be able to
Speaker 4: know this week, like maybe two years ago, and I
Speaker 4: was like, I'm not going.
Speaker 1: To make it.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to be able to make it. I'm
Speaker 4: so sorry, but it's not really a wedding, so that
Speaker 4: should be okay. I didn't say that, but that's what
Speaker 4: I was thinking. And then that was a text message
Speaker 4: and then I get a phone call from I was
Speaker 4: texting with my friend. I get a phone call from
Speaker 4: her husband and he's like, this isn't this isn't okay,
Speaker 4: you got to get to the wedding. I was like,
Speaker 4: I have a job. I have a job, and I
Speaker 4: have a flight and I can't and and he was like,
Speaker 4: you gotta do it. And I'm just like racking my
Speaker 4: brain and I'm like, I mean, I guess if I
Speaker 4: take a red eye there, you.
Speaker 1: Are not the complaining expert. You are folding like a
Speaker 1: leaf expert. This is why you are the clean ex
Speaker 1: tracing paper expert. I was just I was just there,
Speaker 1: you're the foolish expert.
Speaker 4: When I got there, they complained about what I was wearing,
Speaker 4: no suitcase from the airport at city Hall.
Speaker 1: Now at city Hall. City Hall, you got on a
Speaker 1: red eye for city Hall.
Speaker 4: For a city hall.
Speaker 2: They could have done. We could have seen that on FaceTime.
Speaker 1: City Hall.
Speaker 2: I thought, I thought it was only supposed to be
Speaker 2: like five people at city Hall. They can't.
Speaker 4: I thought it was it was supposed to be And
Speaker 4: then by the time it happened, it was like forty.
Speaker 2: People outside of city Hall. Where is the did they
Speaker 2: rent an extra room in city Hall?
Speaker 4: They have a City Hall has a has like a
Speaker 4: like a wedding.
Speaker 2: I've never been a city hall.
Speaker 1: First of all, if you're getting in a wedding room,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be at your wedding. Okay, if
Speaker 1: it's not at a reception hall or a space, then
Speaker 1: I don't want to be there. But a wedding room
Speaker 1: sounds like I could hear the toilet flushing in the hallway.
Speaker 1: What were you wearing? Denim?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what you should be wearing at city hall. Denims.
Speaker 1: No, he's at leisure. He had Ivy park.
Speaker 4: I had on a dress shirt and and like khaki pants.
Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm dragging. I'm dragging you khaki pants.
Speaker 1: This is not a golf course.
Speaker 2: This is city this is city Hall, Jared, have some
Speaker 2: respected guys. You had cat eyes on, cat guys, the hacks.
Speaker 4: But the dress shirt was Armani with orange pin.
Speaker 2: I don't care about the It's clear the shirt made
Speaker 2: it and they were okay with that. We're talking about
Speaker 2: the cat guys. Jared, You're wrong, You're dead wrong. Have
Speaker 2: some respect.
Speaker 1: It's a wedding at city Hall.
Speaker 2: They had a whole wedding room, Babe, cat guys, cat guys.
Speaker 2: But I mean, honestly, get married however you want to
Speaker 2: get married, just don't guilt me out of missing it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: That, and then here's the thing. Of course I want
Speaker 4: to go. I want to be there for all of it.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 4: But if I can't, don't you know.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you every every wedding I've been to,
Speaker 2: I don't see those people no more. They don't even
Speaker 2: text me. I don't even know what they are doing.
Speaker 2: I went today wedding that I spent that money, I
Speaker 2: gave them a gift, I did all.
Speaker 1: I laid down my.
Speaker 2: Life for these holes in the bachelor utes, in the bacherettes.
Speaker 1: Do you do I see them? Do they see me?
Speaker 2: Do we text?
Speaker 1: Are we are we? Are we on a group chat? Nope?
Speaker 1: I don't know those holes. They don't know.
Speaker 2: They don't even know if I changed my last name.
Speaker 2: They haven't checked in, they haven't asked about a show.
Speaker 2: They got their gift and they ran. Now they happily
Speaker 2: ever after, and I'm not in the picture.
Speaker 1: So fuck them.
Speaker 2: No, I don't want to go.
Speaker 1: No, but what about the people who who have these big,
Speaker 1: extravagant weddings and they make you feel bad about not
Speaker 1: I don't know buying the right color nail polish for
Speaker 1: them as well, and then no, but then it's so weird,
Speaker 1: and then they get a divorce.
Speaker 2: Fuck you give me my money back, get the nerve
Speaker 2: to get married again.
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm not.
Speaker 4: Coming to that all so embarrassing. It's like it's like not,
Speaker 4: it's the same thing, like you're they're not doing that
Speaker 4: checklist that everyone else is doing, and you're going.
Speaker 1: You're okay with that, right, you got another registry.
Speaker 4: You're not embarrassed, you're not worried, you're not thinking about
Speaker 4: like X Y, Like this.
Speaker 2: Is so listen, girl, you can get it. You can
Speaker 2: get married as many times as you want, but you
Speaker 2: get one wedding from me. I'm coming from one one.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: Figure out which wedding you want me to go to.
Speaker 2: If you think you can get married three times, let
Speaker 2: me know if you want me to come to the
Speaker 2: middle or to the end. Right, but don't waste me
Speaker 2: on the first. How about that?
Speaker 1: Yeah about it. But the people anybody that gets married,
Speaker 1: doesn't think they're gonna get married again. Yes, they do.
Speaker 1: For the main part.
Speaker 2: If you if you are currently cheating on the person
Speaker 2: you're about to get married. It's going to end.
Speaker 1: It's going to end.
Speaker 4: Okay, so well so more than half of these end.
Speaker 4: So if you're getting married, you have to know it's
Speaker 4: the odds are against you.
Speaker 1: Right, right, which is why you should just not get married.
Speaker 2: I had a friend who her man was cheating on her,
Speaker 2: cheating on her. They're getting a divorce, Like he was
Speaker 2: cheated on her before they got married.
Speaker 1: Did she know or did you know?
Speaker 2: There were talks. There were always talks like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: he gets so drunk.
Speaker 1: Oh what is he?
Speaker 2: He's drinking bullet bourbon on a Monday. He's cheating on you.
Speaker 2: He's gonna he's gonna cheat.
Speaker 1: What is this madman?
Speaker 2: Yeah, bullet bourbon on a Monday.
Speaker 4: No, ma'am, that's a lot.
Speaker 1: That's aggressive. It's aggressive.
Speaker 4: And aspirational too. You know, it could have been like
Speaker 4: Jack Daniels or Jamison, but he went for bullet. He
Speaker 4: was like, I deserve more.
Speaker 1: He's in the rye, the rye whiskey mm hmm. Andrew,
Speaker 1: did you have something that you wanted to complain about? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes I did, Thank you for asking. I'm going to
Speaker 3: complain about the people in my building. I am moving
Speaker 3: out next month. Okay, I don't like a single person
Speaker 3: in this building. The person below me with the backyard
Speaker 3: is gay, and I have reason to believe that he
Speaker 3: was on the ship that's sunk in.
Speaker 1: Mexico and because the gaze over cooked.
Speaker 3: He was posting about it up until that happened, and
Speaker 3: then he didn't post at all, and so he's been
Speaker 3: He came back last week and now he's cleaning up
Speaker 3: his backyard. He made a green house to put all
Speaker 3: of his plants in in the backyard, but then like
Speaker 3: left the door open, so they all died. And so
Speaker 3: I was just looking at dead plants and a greenhouse.
Speaker 4: For the past week.
Speaker 1: So I'm just like.
Speaker 3: The girl that lives next door to me constantly complains
Speaker 3: that like I'm making too much noise, But I'm like, no,
Speaker 3: I do you know me? Like I do not make
Speaker 3: that much noise?
Speaker 1: Do you know me?
Speaker 3: Like if you think I make too much noise? There's
Speaker 3: a woman at the end of the hallway that has
Speaker 3: this is so set. She's so old, but like she's
Speaker 3: constantly like screaming in pain, and she has a nurse
Speaker 3: and like complain about her. I'm so sorry, but do
Speaker 3: not complain about me.
Speaker 1: Well, well, she's in pain, darling.
Speaker 3: You are able bodied when I am constantly over there, Hello, Shila,
Speaker 3: I'm here, like do you need any hand?
Speaker 4: Do you need a hand?
Speaker 3: And she's like, she's like, do not, hello, Sheila, do
Speaker 3: you need a hand. And then she's like, do not
Speaker 3: come in here? I am naked. I like she has
Speaker 3: like the life alart, like the ambulance is constantly at
Speaker 3: our building. I am moving out. I will never look back.
Speaker 1: She has a life alert. The life alert is to
Speaker 1: the is nine one one.
Speaker 3: I think they show up. They're constantly in here. They
Speaker 3: stroll in and I'm like, the apartment's right there, so yeah,
Speaker 3: I am just completely complaining.
Speaker 2: Yo, you don't give no damns about this woman is
Speaker 2: about to die and you're complaining. She's got hospice coming
Speaker 2: through her house and you upset.
Speaker 3: She is the nicest old one like. But I think
Speaker 3: the stem is from Kara next door who the name
Speaker 3: names name Jared?
Speaker 1: Jared?
Speaker 2: How was Andrew out shining? You were right now with
Speaker 2: the complaining.
Speaker 4: Well, Andrew a star comments check your comments and this
Speaker 4: will be tract. Andrew is a beloved American form.
Speaker 1: By Kara and but and sometimes by Sila.
Speaker 3: But yeah, not looking back.
Speaker 1: I mean, Jerry, you don't have like a you don't
Speaker 1: have like a server at Apple.
Speaker 2: No, you don't have a server at Applebee's that you
Speaker 2: can complain about.
Speaker 1: Come on, now, you got something.
Speaker 4: No, I was the server at Okay, so you can complain.
Speaker 4: Have plenty of tables.
Speaker 1: You can complain about those tables.
Speaker 4: Sure, my least I was a brunch.
Speaker 1: Server for brun You really didn't love yourself brunch.
Speaker 4: Brun Well, here's the thing, brunch you made the most money,
Speaker 4: and then you could do comedy at night.
Speaker 1: I don't like comedy that much.
Speaker 4: It is, But what's what was annoying about brunches. You'd
Speaker 4: walk up to your table, maybe have like ten people,
Speaker 4: and the first person you'd be like, can I get
Speaker 4: you something to drink? And they'd be like, I'll have
Speaker 4: a coffee, a water, a juice, a mimosa, and a
Speaker 4: round of waters for the table. And I'm like, you
Speaker 4: just ordered fourteen drinks? Do you just ordered fourteen drinks?
Speaker 3: Do you know that.
Speaker 4: I used to think that coffee I would go right,
Speaker 4: tea water that's fourteen drinks? You just fourteen and you're.
Speaker 2: The first person Arret Jared water is included, so that
Speaker 2: like you should have the waters should have been at
Speaker 2: the table before you even came to the order.
Speaker 1: What are you You're complained about the waters?
Speaker 2: They write me up, Write me up a coward.
Speaker 4: Tell the GM, I am the GM.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm telling you. The water should have already
Speaker 1: been at the table, should have been No.
Speaker 4: But here's the thing. La is in a drought, so
Speaker 4: we're not allowed. It was against the law, Like we
Speaker 4: used to have the water at the table. But then
Speaker 4: if you if if there's like a city official in
Speaker 4: the restaurant, you'd get fined like thousands of dollars. Like
Speaker 4: you're not allowed to. Uh, people have to ask for water.
Speaker 4: It's in La.
Speaker 5: La.
Speaker 1: People don't drink water. Interesting, but they all need water,
Speaker 1: they do.
Speaker 4: No, everyone drinks water. But because it doesn't rain here,
Speaker 4: we're constantly like in a drought like kind of like
Speaker 4: right near a drought. So we can't just be like
Speaker 4: given out free water.
Speaker 2: But the pools are always full.
Speaker 1: Huh. But they tell you not to water your yards either,
Speaker 1: or they say to take shorter showers in La too
Speaker 1: because of the drought. I mean, we don't listen to them,
Speaker 1: but they do now.
Speaker 2: Now it makes sense because I was complaining about somebody
Speaker 2: who's always.
Speaker 1: Like, turn the water off, turn the water off.
Speaker 2: Don't just have the water running like they were like
Speaker 2: going off on me because I let the I like
Speaker 2: the water to get hot, and like the bathroom steaming.
Speaker 2: It's like you turn the water on, you get in there.
Speaker 2: You turn it on, you get in there, don't don't
Speaker 2: run the water. And I was like, what's the what's
Speaker 2: the problem y'all? Y'all stingy on the water and now
Speaker 2: you are they are stingy because there's a draft.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the culture here learning stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, Jared complaining, do you have anything to complain about?
Speaker 2: Maybe the new Instagram update?
Speaker 1: What's the new Instagram?
Speaker 3: Is it?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 4: So far, I know that you can now group live
Speaker 4: and I have no complaints about that.
Speaker 1: I like that, Like, no shop is not good? What's
Speaker 1: the shop? They just really push it now they want
Speaker 1: you to buy.
Speaker 3: I think it's like it's in the place where like
Speaker 3: it was like notifications was or something, so you naturally
Speaker 3: go there messy, messy.
Speaker 1: They know what they're doing.
Speaker 2: That's crazy because I'm like, I keep buying things from Instagram,
Speaker 2: So I'm like, what's the update?
Speaker 1: Its crazy? You know what's crazy? I have never bought
Speaker 1: anything from Instagram. No, that's not crazy.
Speaker 2: You actually are very good with your money, Marie, and
Speaker 2: I could not ever see you buying anything on Instagram.
Speaker 2: And if you were wellness check coming over to check
Speaker 2: on you, friend worried about you.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile you're buying yeah, and I'm just like, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't need it. What, No, that's nice? How much
Speaker 1: is it eighty four dollars? And then I'm like no, yea,
Speaker 1: because I feel like I'm afraid that I'm gonna order
Speaker 1: something from online and it's gonna look completely different when
Speaker 1: it gets here.
Speaker 2: It always does. It never looks good. The sunset lamp.
Speaker 2: It's cool in theory, but then you get it. It
Speaker 2: took three months to come, and you're like, this was
Speaker 2: not worth.
Speaker 1: It and it broke? Did it break?
Speaker 2: It broke?
Speaker 1: It's broken.
Speaker 4: Did you guys see those squishy slides sandals? They're like
Speaker 4: they're really like puffy, They're like the easy ones. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and they're really bendy and mashi and comfy looking. I
Speaker 4: ordered them in yellow. Three months later they came in brown.
Speaker 4: And they are hard as rocks. No they are not.
Speaker 2: Where are they?
Speaker 1: Did you throw them away?
Speaker 4: They're upstairs I have I'm trying to pawn them off on.
Speaker 2: Someone send them to us so we can take Send
Speaker 2: us a picture so we can see. Maybe maybe we could,
Speaker 2: Maybe we could sell it through Instagram.
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe go.
Speaker 2: Do a swipe up link and deep.
Speaker 1: What size do you wear?
Speaker 4: I wear a ten, but I think they're too small,
Speaker 4: so they're probably like a nine.
Speaker 1: Damn and the sizing is wrong. They're hard and brown.
Speaker 4: It couldn't have been worse. Although I got a watch
Speaker 4: and it was really good. It came like on time
Speaker 4: and it's.
Speaker 1: We'll kind of watch that hashtag your watch.
Speaker 4: It's a clear watch, it's a I forgure what the
Speaker 4: brand is, but it's just like, really I like, it's
Speaker 4: basically like an elevated Cassio. You got it on your
Speaker 4: It's not on my wrist right now.
Speaker 1: It's upstairs.
Speaker 4: Do you want to see it?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, don't get off. Okay, send us a picture
Speaker 2: of that. Well, well maybe we can.
Speaker 4: It's really good.
Speaker 2: Maybe we can sell that on Instagram as well.
Speaker 4: Uh wait, Nicky Fresh as Jared Goldstein's plastic wash.
Speaker 2: Somebody will buy it. Oh you know what I want?
Speaker 2: I want to complain about one more thing before you
Speaker 2: know whatever we might, we might, we might make this
Speaker 2: an hour and a half.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling good right now. I want to.
Speaker 2: Complain about hot people. Hot people are annoying, Sydney.
Speaker 1: You want to complain about hot hot people suck? Okay,
Speaker 1: so that means you sucks?
Speaker 4: Is no?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no girl.
Speaker 2: I'm You're not I got I got spaces in my teeth,
Speaker 2: my boobs are not real, hair is not real. I'm
Speaker 2: I'm hot adjacent.
Speaker 1: I'm not understanding what words you're saying right now. Nobody
Speaker 1: understand hot. No, you know, I want to complain about
Speaker 1: hot people who say they're not hot? How about that?
Speaker 1: It's almost like they want you to give them compliments,
Speaker 1: to tell them that they're hot, as if they don't
Speaker 1: know that they're hot, you know, especially hot people who
Speaker 1: like if you read their Instagram. It's like, how do
Speaker 1: I not have a modeling contract things for free? Aren't
Speaker 1: I so annoying about the hot community that is pretending
Speaker 1: not to be hot but calling themselves hot to Jason.
Speaker 2: As Jared takes off his shirt while he's on the
Speaker 2: pod to show us hot. Yeah, Jared Jared in the video, Jared,
Speaker 2: would you classify yourself as hot?
Speaker 4: I mean I would agree with you. I feel hot adjacent,
Speaker 4: but on the record, it's very important to own your hotness.
Speaker 2: I can't fucking stand.
Speaker 4: Jason, why oh, because you think I'm hot?
Speaker 2: Your hair is real, your eyebrows are perfect.
Speaker 1: You do have a good brow, giving a Kara Delaving brow? Really?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Is it named Cara Clara Kara Kara Delavine Andrew, do
Speaker 2: you agree.
Speaker 3: That Jared's hot?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm yeah.
Speaker 3: I feel like this is we all knew this. Very
Speaker 3: a very kind face too, I will say kind kind,
Speaker 3: like a very approachable nice Okay.
Speaker 1: So not not a Regina george face, but like a
Speaker 1: Gretchen Wiener's face, because she looked like the more approachable.
Speaker 3: She looks a little bit more approachable, but like a
Speaker 3: man of Siphrid like Karen has like the most like
Speaker 3: aesthetically like approachable face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, well, because her eyes were always.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, like do I like, yeah, they are Bambie.
Speaker 1: Do you do you do well in the dating department? Jared?
Speaker 1: You got a man, right?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, I.
Speaker 1: In my life, you've never had a boyfriend. Never excuse me.
Speaker 4: It used to it used to be like a big
Speaker 4: old mess, but it's not anymore. But then it was
Speaker 4: just like I got really busy and then the world
Speaker 4: shut down, and now we're here.
Speaker 1: So you haven't been dating during the pandem at all.
Speaker 4: I Oh, last summer I was, I was seeing this guy,
Speaker 4: a game magician.
Speaker 1: Girl by I not.
Speaker 2: Now I have to hang up on you because it's
Speaker 2: clear that you don't love yourself.
Speaker 4: Why I wasn't gonna say this, but he is also
Speaker 4: a writer for The Mandalorian.
Speaker 1: But a game magician is what's at the top of
Speaker 1: his resume?
Speaker 4: No, no, no, writer for the Mandalorian is what is
Speaker 4: at the top of his resume.
Speaker 3: The magician part.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean why would you want to.
Speaker 2: I mean you started up top with that, So this
Speaker 2: is your friend, this is you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well I'm glad. I'm glad he got that that
Speaker 1: writing job because I mean, honestly that that could be
Speaker 1: an idea for a new children's cartoon. It's a game
Speaker 1: magician but like but thinks SpongeBob. But like, oh.
Speaker 2: Okay, here's another thing I'm gonna complain about my friends.
Speaker 2: That don't date up. They need to date Everybody needs
Speaker 2: a date up.
Speaker 3: It's hard to date up, don't you think, Sidney, You've
Speaker 3: had like awful complaints.
Speaker 1: I'm so sing your complaints of well, I mean not
Speaker 1: the White Show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, but I am not aging.
Speaker 1: Why what's the problem?
Speaker 3: It's hard?
Speaker 2: I want everybody needs to date up. Everybody is tends
Speaker 2: across the border.
Speaker 1: On this call, Sidney, you're saying everybody needs to date up,
Speaker 1: but some people gotta date down so that the people
Speaker 1: down can date up.
Speaker 2: Well, I need everybody who's dating down to not be
Speaker 2: my The people who are dating up, come on over
Speaker 2: to my side so we can. I want to hear
Speaker 2: your conversations, because me hearing the conversations that you know
Speaker 2: they're not hitting it right, or you're not going to.
Speaker 1: The places you need to go to. I don't want.
Speaker 2: I want to hear my friends are going on a boat.
Speaker 2: We got they got the PJ, were going on the
Speaker 2: PJ that I want to go with. I want to
Speaker 2: I need my friends a day up so I can
Speaker 2: go on the streamers.
Speaker 1: Okay, so what's dating down for you? They're not as
Speaker 1: or they have less money. I don't know because sometimes
Speaker 1: sometimes sometimes ugly dick is good dick.
Speaker 2: I have heard, Yes, sometimes I have, I too have
Speaker 2: heard as well, and sometimes broke dick and it's like
Speaker 2: an attest to broke dick is good dick.
Speaker 1: So it's like what is down?
Speaker 2: But as somebody who's had, you know, a dick attached
Speaker 2: to a man, a dick that's been attached to you know,
Speaker 2: a wall, dick is dick. So you need to subtract
Speaker 2: the dick and find the good person.
Speaker 1: You need to attract the dick and add a good person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just gid, just just get worry about the person. Okay,
Speaker 2: stop stop putting it on the penis girl, It's just
Speaker 2: it's just an object.
Speaker 1: City. You gotta be high. It's the last sixty two
Speaker 1: minutes have been so much for me.
Speaker 2: Why Jared don't you agree?
Speaker 1: I do one.
Speaker 4: I've never been like a penis guy. I don't care
Speaker 4: as long as I have when it's fine. I I
Speaker 4: you know, I hear all the time about like his
Speaker 4: penis was this small. I've never once in my life
Speaker 4: seen a penis that was too small. They're always humongous,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, where the fuck is that supposed to.
Speaker 2: Go, Jared, I heard I heard that you was slanging
Speaker 2: that that thing is thanging. That's what I heard.
Speaker 1: That thing is thinking.
Speaker 4: Did you hear that?
Speaker 1: That's what I heard. That's what the streets are saying.
Speaker 1: That's what the streets are saying.
Speaker 4: All right, I'll neither confirm or deny.
Speaker 1: What come on now?
Speaker 4: Oh no, I mean I feel good. I feel good.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: I mean here's a thing you did. You did share
Speaker 4: at the very top, So I guess it's only fair
Speaker 4: for me to say that, yeah, things are good.
Speaker 2: That thing is that thang we dang.
Speaker 4: What's cool about my dick is that it looks like
Speaker 4: a dildo. Like it's like it's like devoid of character,
Speaker 4: Like there's no surprises, like when you think of a dildo,
Speaker 4: whatever you just thought of, that's what it looks like.
Speaker 1: It's just like.
Speaker 2: It's very vainy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like there's no like there's no like weird shapes
Speaker 4: or angles or norks. Yeah, there's just nothing that.
Speaker 1: It's just like, So you've got a pretty peen good
Speaker 1: for you.
Speaker 4: I really can I tell One time, Okay, one time,
Speaker 4: I was like I was like dming with this guy
Speaker 4: who lives in New York for like months, but I
Speaker 4: was here in LA and then finally like I'm in
Speaker 4: New York. We meet up. He's really cute. We start
Speaker 4: hooking up. He before he takes his dick out, he
Speaker 4: tells me people tell me I have a really pretty dick.
Speaker 4: And I was like, okay, let's see. And he takes
Speaker 4: it out and I go, that looks like mine.
Speaker 2: Wow, twins what and he goes, take your dick.
Speaker 4: So I take my dick out and he goes, oh
Speaker 4: my god, it.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. It's like a parent trap moment and.
Speaker 4: Looked so similar. His was bigger, but almost exactly a lie.
Speaker 4: And it was very weird because he was bragging about himself,
Speaker 4: going my dick is pretty. And then I said, wait,
Speaker 4: my dick looks like your dick, and he goes, well,
Speaker 4: let's see, and then he agreed. He goes, your dick
Speaker 4: does look like my dick.
Speaker 2: So come on, Jess, Jared, I love it.
Speaker 4: By the transitive property, I have a beautiful dick.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Well, if you want to drop that in the chat
Speaker 2: over here, that'll be nice.
Speaker 1: Honestly, I don't think you could drop it anywhere. You
Speaker 1: could just drop your pants. So we can see because
Speaker 1: Sydney has dropped hers.
Speaker 2: Okay, that was like an hour ago. Guys, that's literally
Speaker 2: just let the past be the past. I did that
Speaker 2: to reset the room. I reset in the room and
Speaker 2: the vibe of the pod.
Speaker 1: You didn't reset anything, says you said the tone with.
Speaker 5: Jared.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you, you know, cleared the name
Speaker 2: of people who complain a lot, because I just I
Speaker 2: just feel like you didn't do You didn't really complain,
Speaker 2: you know, like you were you were kind of cool
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 4: That was my plan all along.
Speaker 1: M I'm not doing that.
Speaker 2: Why did andrew complaint seem to blow everyone out the water.
Speaker 1: Because Andrew had a valid complaint.
Speaker 2: He was upset at this lady that's dying.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 2: If that's not white privilege, you're mad.
Speaker 3: Because I can already hear the comments that are like,
Speaker 3: why why is he like talking about Hila?
Speaker 1: No, he wasn't talking about he was talking about Clara.
Speaker 4: Validate.
Speaker 3: But Sheila is verbally abusive to her nurse.
Speaker 4: So I.
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, hold on. Is her nurse black
Speaker 1: or white?
Speaker 3: She is hispanic?
Speaker 1: Oh well then we don't like Sheila. She's problematic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's problematic.
Speaker 1: She got it. That's wrong.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, that's.
Speaker 2: Wrong, unless unless the nurse voted for Trump. No, n
Speaker 2: you think it's Latinos for trum, Yeah, it's Latino's for Trump.
Speaker 2: Then she's Clara, she's coing.
Speaker 3: She came to cry to me one time and I
Speaker 3: felt so bad after it. It was a very y
Speaker 3: I need to get out of this building.
Speaker 1: I hate it.
Speaker 3: It is haunted.
Speaker 2: Well, thank god she's dying.
Speaker 1: Well, it's haunted. That's all the plants died.
Speaker 3: It is a graveyard.
Speaker 1: It's an elephant graveyard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Jared, wait, I know there's Hey.
Speaker 1: Is there Sidney really want to get a complaint of it?
Speaker 1: Is there? Is there a sixty second complaint from you?
Speaker 2: Is there anything in comedy that you want to complain about?
Speaker 2: Or TikTokers people on Twitter? An's just stories people?
Speaker 4: Anybody here is a comedian.
Speaker 2: Who is stealing bits?
Speaker 1: Yes? Who is it?
Speaker 4: Okay, this is even worse. This comedian is recording fake
Speaker 4: videos of himself doing stand up in front of a
Speaker 4: green screen and making it look like these are like
Speaker 4: his his his stand up clips on TikTok But you
Speaker 4: can so tell that it's it's a it's a laugh track.
Speaker 4: It's a green screen behind him, the whole thing. He's
Speaker 4: just presenting it as if it's stand out.
Speaker 2: Well, that's a lot of people's specials. Just hands up,
Speaker 2: just you know, there's laugh tracks on it. So I
Speaker 2: just saying, maybe maybe he's onto something.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's maybe lean.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's my that's my comedy complaint. I can't believe
Speaker 4: that that's happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that I mean, is he blowing up?
Speaker 4: Is he viral or he is like super viral, like
Speaker 4: super super.
Speaker 2: Dropped, the name dropped, the name dropped, the name in
Speaker 2: the chat, I will wait, I gotta, I gotta you
Speaker 2: don't you don't have.
Speaker 3: It by him or any of the comments like we
Speaker 3: know this is a green screen, or like how are
Speaker 3: you the only person that's in the No.
Speaker 4: I'm not. He was brought to my attention from another commediant.
Speaker 4: It okay, So I think it's like comedians know. And
Speaker 4: also he's kind of like a broie guy, so it's
Speaker 4: like he's not really someone that like we really think
Speaker 4: about or care about. It is crazy to see it
Speaker 4: because you watch it and you go, this is fake
Speaker 4: and he has millions of you know, all the TikTok oh.
Speaker 1: No, we don't like that. But people are on TikTok.
Speaker 1: They're not the brightest in the bunch. We've seen them dance,
Speaker 1: that's a fact. Yeah, they're not intelligent, inteligent. I feel
Speaker 1: like I wanted to complain about something else, but I'm
Speaker 1: trying to complain less really, you know, I feel like that.
Speaker 1: I feel like when you complain, it's like, uh, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know. I'm trying to do different
Speaker 1: things this.
Speaker 3: I like to.
Speaker 1: I think it's good to complain and get it out
Speaker 1: when you need to get it out, but I don't
Speaker 1: like to, like do well on that stuff too much
Speaker 1: out loud anyway. Like that's what my brain is for,
Speaker 1: you know, complaining, screaming about everything that is terrible. But
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yes, no, just me.
Speaker 4: I complain. I complain about all the time, all the.
Speaker 1: Magician, Wizard, the game, the gay wizard.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, okay, the one that kept walking while you
Speaker 2: were visibly having a podcast.
Speaker 5: He's a lovely, lovely person now I could talk shit about.
Speaker 1: For the rest of my life.
Speaker 2: Is the person a non comedian, non comedian talks to.
Speaker 5: Me every day about what I could never tell you.
Speaker 5: I'm sweetest, sweetest guy. Wow, if I never saw him again,
Speaker 5: I love to say more.
Speaker 1: Moment we're having. Should we do a whole episode like
Speaker 1: this one day?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Why why is he your? I was trying. It was
Speaker 1: so I was really trying.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: She's like, is he still here?
Speaker 4: We met on Greg's list.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's your fault.
Speaker 5: It's an arranged marriage of swords.
Speaker 1: Okay, well this is what you get. Well, who lived
Speaker 1: there first?
Speaker 5: I'm in charge castle.
Speaker 2: Well, if it's your apartment, then I would be loud.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even care.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because one time, okay, this is something to complain about.
Speaker 5: This one time the fire alarm went off. The smoke
Speaker 5: alarm so loud. You know how loud they are four
Speaker 5: in the morning. They never go off at four pm.
Speaker 5: They only go off at four am. It is screaming
Speaker 5: for half an hour right next to his bedroom. Never
Speaker 5: came out me one and you know he's away. Yeah,
Speaker 5: there's no way. I'm on the phone with my mom
Speaker 5: and dad. I'm screaming at them.
Speaker 1: They're screaming at me.
Speaker 5: I'm screaming at the thing is Mayhem at four am
Speaker 5: until four.
Speaker 6: And thirty am, And he never came up, not.
Speaker 5: Never, And from that day I said, I will podcast
Speaker 5: at any hour, at any time.
Speaker 2: Why didn't you lead it with this? Yeah, this is great,
Speaker 2: this is great.
Speaker 4: You should have just led to get there. Okay, okay,
Speaker 4: it has to be authentic, No, we have That's another
Speaker 4: clause of the complaining. We has to come from God.
Speaker 2: We had to put so much lube on this pod
Speaker 2: for you to get this comfortable. That is I'm upset.
Speaker 1: I'm honestly, I do want to complain about you being
Speaker 1: the complaining expert. You when I said, Jared, what do
Speaker 1: you want to be the expert? And you were like complaining,
Speaker 1: I do that all day long.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, what would you What would you say, I'm
Speaker 4: the expert in uh.
Speaker 1: I don't know, making us wait for an hour and
Speaker 1: twelve minutes.
Speaker 2: I would say, Jared, you are the expert in making friends.
Speaker 2: You're very friendly in the community. Like when I when
Speaker 2: I'm fine, I think it's between me and you. When
Speaker 2: there's a post that goes up, it's either I'm going
Speaker 2: to have a comment first, or you'll have a comment.
Speaker 2: But most times, most times we both have a comment
Speaker 2: on some one's posts.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm always looking to see your comments.
Speaker 2: I always see yours. It's almost like Instagram lets me
Speaker 2: know that you made a comment, and I have to
Speaker 2: see it first.
Speaker 4: The algorithm is bringing us together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's another reason why I had to bring you
Speaker 2: on the pod, because I just kept seeing your name
Speaker 2: and I was like, well, wait, Jared hasn't been on.
Speaker 1: I can't believe you hadn't been on the podcast before.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's a that's our bad. We're trash. Look,
Speaker 2: you made me wait and I made Yeah, that's the
Speaker 2: team that this is you getting back at us for
Speaker 2: waiting for the payback.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's fine, Jared.
Speaker 2: People we're gonna post your picture and it doesn't matter
Speaker 2: because everyone's gonna slide on your dms and they're like, wait,
Speaker 2: you're single, but you're so attractive and funny and smart.
Speaker 1: They're gonna ask questions about the Magician Wizard.
Speaker 2: Yeah you made so they're gonna for those questions, and
Speaker 2: then they're gonna ask can we see it? And you
Speaker 2: already know what they want to see, and when they
Speaker 2: want to see it, it's you better send them a
Speaker 2: picture of the shoe. The shoe, the shoes. Yeah, oh no,
Speaker 2: that's not what we were talking about were talking about
Speaker 2: the no no no, but I'm saying they were gonna
Speaker 2: be like, can we see it?
Speaker 1: And you send them a picture of the shoe. That's
Speaker 1: the key.
Speaker 4: Key. I only said, I've only sent one Dick pic
Speaker 4: and it was like ten years ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah you're famous now, babe.
Speaker 1: You can't be doing another stunts.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: But you have a perfect do you have a perfect
Speaker 1: pretty penis and you've only sent one dig pic? Is
Speaker 1: that what you still send it?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 4: Look, here's the thing. This is the thing. You know
Speaker 4: they say the camera adds ten pounds not to Dick pics.
Speaker 4: Whenever you're looking at the picture, I'm like, this can't
Speaker 4: be right. Like I've never taken a picture of it
Speaker 4: that that felt like this is doing me justice.
Speaker 1: You gotta get a ring light. You gotta put the
Speaker 1: penis on the ring light. Don't get it. Don't do
Speaker 1: it with fluorescent lighting. It's gonna make it.
Speaker 2: Look no fluorescentesce. I've never taken a picture in a
Speaker 2: fluorescent lighting and be like, yeah, my tits look good.
Speaker 1: Now. It's too harsh for the for the body, for
Speaker 1: the for the female.
Speaker 4: I'll put it next to a lava l get some sex, lights,
Speaker 4: get some sex. Could you imagine that? Would that would
Speaker 4: be a curse?
Speaker 2: Marie, you look like myka.
Speaker 1: You don't have a Baska Sydney. Don't do that.
Speaker 3: He looks like girl.
Speaker 1: She's in heaven. Yes, Jared, Oh what you called? You
Speaker 1: called your grandma your NANAA.
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 1: Okay and she called you.
Speaker 2: Stress Jared? Before we leave, Okay, since you did like
Speaker 2: subpar in this complaining department, do you have like any tips?
Speaker 2: Three tips on like how to be a fabulous, fabulous complainer,
Speaker 2: a better complainer than you than me?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Okay, yes. First tip is be kind to yourself and
Speaker 4: let yourself complain. You're not a monster. You're just having
Speaker 4: a day.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 4: Second tip a day, Fine, you're just having a day.
Speaker 4: Find a find a safe space, find the right people
Speaker 4: for which you can complain. Maybe find some people who
Speaker 4: will support your complaining and not say that you're complaining
Speaker 4: with subpar. Maybe find some people who will uplift you. Know,
Speaker 4: if your complaining is kind of small, that's that's not
Speaker 4: you know, doesn't mean weak. It means like a little baby, like, oh,
Speaker 4: your little complaints are cute. So if you can find
Speaker 4: someone to support you're complaining, that would be good too.
Speaker 4: And then the third tip for complaining is breathe through
Speaker 4: your diaphragm, unless.
Speaker 5: You're mate can hear. And then you want to whisper
Speaker 5: right up on the mic, just like.
Speaker 1: This out when the alarm, the fire alarm stopped ringing,
Speaker 1: you opened his door and chucked it into his room.
Speaker 4: Can you actually believe that you should?
Speaker 2: You should actually try. You should actually put fire underneath
Speaker 2: the fire alarm so it could go off, and then
Speaker 2: just let it and just let it rock.
Speaker 4: Sit in a chair right underneath it.
Speaker 1: And see what he does, smoking a capri like a long.
Speaker 2: I dare you?
Speaker 1: And in the rocking chair, you're just like, well, you
Speaker 1: long enough.
Speaker 2: And it's hilarious because it's so funny that we're mentioning
Speaker 2: this because our next guest on the podcast is your roommate.
Speaker 1: That's insane. We'll be back to back.
Speaker 4: Don't believe anything she says.
Speaker 1: I love this anyway. I'm actually kind of tired. Yeah
Speaker 1: me too.
Speaker 2: Yeah I'm not, but you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 2: it's time, it's time to wrap it up, because this
Speaker 2: is we went long.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're almost going.
Speaker 2: An hour and a half with Jared Goldstein. We're making
Speaker 2: up for lost time.
Speaker 1: Sydney.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, wait, can I say your last episode
Speaker 4: where it was just the two of you together at
Speaker 4: like four in the morning and you were trying to
Speaker 4: fill the time. That was cinematic. That's a movie. I
Speaker 4: want to watch that as a movie.
Speaker 1: That was so we were trying to fill the time.
Speaker 1: I don't even remember what we were talking about.
Speaker 4: I loved that episode. Andrew I wasn't there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was That was one one of the reviews
Speaker 3: says I loved this episode. Andrew wasn't there.
Speaker 1: Where's that review?
Speaker 3: I think I think it was like on a comment
Speaker 3: or something. Yeah, like he wasn't like like he was
Speaker 3: like naming like Marie did this, Sydney did this. Andrew
Speaker 3: wasn't there, And I was like.
Speaker 4: You're talking, you're talking about funeral. Yeah, that was such
Speaker 4: a good episode.
Speaker 1: It was good. It was good.
Speaker 4: You were singing. You kept singing the whole episode.
Speaker 1: Said well whole milk for your whole lass.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had a good time. You know what, let
Speaker 2: me repost that tomorrow so people because I didn't post that,
Speaker 2: thanks Jarrett Art. You know what, we might have to
Speaker 2: do a part two, and just have you come back
Speaker 2: as another expert because this one. You're not a complainer friend.
Speaker 2: You're a good You're a good guy.
Speaker 4: I accept that. I do, except that and if I
Speaker 4: have to come back.
Speaker 2: But okay, do you gossip? I do? Yeah, but you
Speaker 2: didn't give me no gossip and.
Speaker 4: Just a podcast that's not safe.
Speaker 1: I feel that's crazy. If you were being too politically
Speaker 1: correct you were, Yeah, we got you. You are like
Speaker 1: close friends, complainer clo gossip like you're on this. I
Speaker 1: see it.
Speaker 2: Me and Marie have been doing this for years and
Speaker 2: we talk shit. Okay, people hate us, but they asked
Speaker 2: to be on the podcast, but they hate us.
Speaker 4: All right, I have something to look up to.
Speaker 2: Okay, Jared plug plug yourself?
Speaker 1: Where you at?
Speaker 2: Where can we find you? Your socials and whatnot?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Find me online at Hey Jared Hey.
Speaker 2: Hay, Jared Hey, Hey, Jared Hey. And if you love
Speaker 2: Jared and you want to see, you know, beautiful things
Speaker 2: from him, I need you to put some palm trees
Speaker 2: under his last photo. That'd be cute, m oh, I
Speaker 2: would love that. Please do it the last photo or
Speaker 2: or the photo where you think that you can maybe
Speaker 2: see a print.
Speaker 4: And ooh, actually stay tuned this week because the print
Speaker 4: is coming.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I would love to see your pretty ricky
Speaker 2: ricky ricky.
Speaker 4: What I call it?
Speaker 2: All Right, Well we again, we've outdid ourselves, Marie. No fights.
Speaker 1: This was a smooth one, Sidney. I don't fight with you.
Speaker 1: I don't understand where you coming up, why you want
Speaker 1: to build that.
Speaker 2: False It's not a false narrative that the people have
Speaker 2: put it in the comments that we fight, Jarreed, do
Speaker 2: you agree?
Speaker 1: He does?
Speaker 4: I mean there was a Seminaryoki, but I think this
Speaker 4: is like that happens between friends.
Speaker 1: That happens like that happens a lot over.
Speaker 4: Okay, we'll talk about we'll talk about comedy. There's a
Speaker 4: lot of comedy duos that seem to be like perfect
Speaker 4: friends who are only in love and always obsessed with
Speaker 4: each other. And it's exhausting because it makes me feel
Speaker 4: bad because I go, well, I don't my friends and
Speaker 4: I don't get along that well always. So when I
Speaker 4: see your friendship being multifaceted like mine are, I go, oh,
Speaker 4: thank god, this is authentic fun.
Speaker 1: Fact, a lot of those comedy duos not even friends
Speaker 1: in real life.
Speaker 2: And that's the problem, Marie, we're fucking real friends. Let's
Speaker 2: hate each other so we could make this money.
Speaker 1: Okay, oh my god, wait.
Speaker 4: That actually would work if you did that for like
Speaker 4: a couple months. You like a like an animosity narrative
Speaker 4: just to get like more clicks.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, The producer expert.
Speaker 2: Oh well, well I'm a method actress, so I can't.
Speaker 2: I can't exude that unless it's real.
Speaker 1: So listen, I get exuded. Just give me the number
Speaker 1: of the figure it out.
Speaker 2: Okay, well you heard it here first, me and Marie
Speaker 2: are gonna We're gonna fight and make millions of dollars.
Speaker 1: I love this.
Speaker 2: I love this for us. Okay, guys, you you love us,
Speaker 2: you hate us?
Speaker 1: And now you can go? Bye? No, no, no, Before
Speaker 1: you go, did you leave a review? Did you rate us?
Speaker 2: Are you subscribing?
Speaker 1: Hello? Now you can go? Okay, okay.
Speaker 8: Forhever Dog, this has been a Forever Dog production. The
Speaker 8: Unofficial Expert is executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio,
Speaker 8: and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer Tracy Soren. Produced by Andrew McGuire.
Speaker 8: Cover art by Sandy Hoenig. To listen to this podcast,
Speaker 8: ad free sign up for Foreverdog Plus at Foreverdog Podcasts
Speaker 8: dot com slash plus. Check out video clips of our
Speaker 8: podcasts on YouTube at YouTube dot com slash Forever Dog Team,
Speaker 8: and make sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and
Speaker 8: Facebook at forever Dog Team to keep up with all
Speaker 8: the latest Foreverdog news