WEBVTT - H2O-mosexual: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode (RE-RELEASE)

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<v Speaker 1>Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever.

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<v Speaker 2>So yep, yep, yep, there it is. There it is.

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<v Speaker 2>Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My

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<v Speaker 2>Mama Told.

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<v Speaker 3>Me, the podcast where we forget to download the script.

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<v Speaker 3>So we're going off the top right now because I

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<v Speaker 3>thought I had it open but I didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Who cares, you know, who doesn't matter. None of this

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<v Speaker 2>means anything.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>What does mean something is it's a motherfucking mini episode,

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<v Speaker 2>and that means we're diving into your bullshit. You're Shenanigans.

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<v Speaker 3>The stuff don't send down, kay.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't wait to hear what shit you've come up

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<v Speaker 2>with this week, you son of a bitch, You fucking idiots,

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<v Speaker 2>you fucking you're a scoundrel. I bet you went to

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<v Speaker 2>school in the portabulls. I bet I bet you went

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<v Speaker 2>to school on the portal and you didn't even take

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<v Speaker 2>a hard, hard major.

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<v Speaker 3>You probably studied something easy and yeah, mass communications. That's

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<v Speaker 3>that you're not a mass calm degree and be a

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<v Speaker 3>radio fucking DJ. David good good idea.

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<v Speaker 2>But I don't know why I can't find a job

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<v Speaker 2>because it's a useless degree.

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<v Speaker 3>Fuck base because nobody cares about exercise technology. Dumb ass, Just.

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<v Speaker 2>Get a trainer certificate like the rest of us.

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<v Speaker 3>Jesus Christ will give you. I'll give my money to

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<v Speaker 3>a buff guy to make me buff. I don't need

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<v Speaker 3>to know about the paperwork.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't need to know that you went to school

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<v Speaker 2>to make me buff.

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<v Speaker 3>Just make me buff. You didn't have to go to school.

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<v Speaker 3>You got buff. That's the one requirement he did.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the only thing I've ever cared about with a

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<v Speaker 2>buff guy yelling at me, is is to your buff

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<v Speaker 2>guy tricks? Well this derailed quickly.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this got crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah it got out of hand. But you know what

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<v Speaker 2>didn't get out of hand? Is is Today is a

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<v Speaker 2>mini episode. We got an email from a listener who

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<v Speaker 2>who wanted to express their their personal conspiracy theories or

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<v Speaker 2>share at least a conspiracy theory they seem to be

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<v Speaker 2>somewhat invested in. And this one comes to us from

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<v Speaker 2>a person whose name Their name is Dogon. Their name

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<v Speaker 2>is Dogon. Dogon sent us a message Uh.

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<v Speaker 3>D O g O n.

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<v Speaker 2>But at the end they they made it very clear.

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<v Speaker 2>It's pronounced d oe dash g A w n.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh dogone Yeah, yeah, I got it was like dogone.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, I think it's class.

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<v Speaker 3>Give me these dog gone muscles, buff guy.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sick of looking like this. Buff guys. Take my

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<v Speaker 2>hurt away, replace it with abs. Replace my hurt with abs.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the old everybody, right, that's the difference. And don't

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<v Speaker 2>that's that's physically true, not at all. And if they do,

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<v Speaker 2>that's salt. That salt washes away on those sweet abs.

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<v Speaker 2>But Dogan sent us a beautiful message, they said, Leangthston

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<v Speaker 2>and David exclamation points. So you know this person is serious,

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<v Speaker 2>they said, Lengthston and David, hotep and hot salami bacon.

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<v Speaker 2>To the two of you, I'd like to offer my

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<v Speaker 2>sincereous congratulations for your ceaseless commitment to the mental decay

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<v Speaker 2>of the black maned woman and child.

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<v Speaker 4>That that sentence felt, That does not that's not a compliment.

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<v Speaker 4>It's not what we were aiming for, not at all.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't think it was I trying to heald the

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<v Speaker 4>black community. No, no, I was not, but decay. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't know that I that were decaying anything.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to be complicent in like the decline.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, come on, give us a little credit. We're keeping

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<v Speaker 2>things neutral.

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<v Speaker 1>Baby.

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<v Speaker 3>Come on, this is a Tusky he had.

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<v Speaker 2>The man's wearing a Tuskegee hat, and you don't know

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<v Speaker 2>which side he's on with the Tuskegee experiments. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe I hate it, but anyway, Uh. Dogan goes on

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<v Speaker 2>to say, so, one of my favorite black conspiracy theories

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<v Speaker 2>is one that I came across in a YouTube university

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<v Speaker 2>wormhole of video suggested after I was searching for more

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<v Speaker 2>information about Brother Polite's rape accusations.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I did not know that he had that. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>I too was.

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<v Speaker 2>After reading this email went down a bit of a

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<v Speaker 2>rabbit hole, and it appears he's in uh quite a pickle.

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<v Speaker 3>Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>I won't say whose pickle it is or who made it,

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<v Speaker 2>but it certainly seems like he's He's got some trouble

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<v Speaker 2>of brewing for him.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess I haven't seen him in a few years. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Were you a big Brother Polite tracker before this? I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a big dj vladd interview washer ish shit? Have you

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<v Speaker 2>ever before I derail us too much? Although this this,

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<v Speaker 2>have you ever subscribed to the theory that dj vladd

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<v Speaker 2>is a is a FEDS?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>It goes back and forth. I mean, it's not exactly

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<v Speaker 3>rocket science what he's doing. These people do come on

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<v Speaker 3>and just they're like, here's this crime that I committed.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, one hundred percent, you know what I mean, say

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<v Speaker 2>the stuff.

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<v Speaker 3>And I I just don't if he's the Feds, the

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<v Speaker 3>Feds are getting weird. I don't think that he is fed. No, No,

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<v Speaker 3>I think he's a weird Russian dude.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's what bugs me is how intentional he is about

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<v Speaker 2>not showing his face and and ever like making it

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<v Speaker 2>clear of what he looks like. You could google though,

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<v Speaker 2>sure of course, but but you could also google the

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<v Speaker 2>people that have gotten in trouble from DJ blad interviews.

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<v Speaker 2>And yet people continue to go on there and get

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<v Speaker 2>in more trouble from DJ blad interviews. So you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's a it's a complex thing, this google rule. But

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<v Speaker 2>it bugs me a little bit that this white man

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<v Speaker 2>intentionally with a very black voice, mind you, is very black,

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<v Speaker 2>black enough.

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<v Speaker 3>When you see his face it matches his voice. You're

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<v Speaker 3>a big fan.

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<v Speaker 2>I love how you're going to.

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<v Speaker 3>That's not that's not at all what I'm just I'm

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<v Speaker 3>just saying, I'm not I'm not going listen, don't don't

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<v Speaker 3>do that to me.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, he has a voice of an angel and

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<v Speaker 2>he's never heard anybody.

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<v Speaker 3>I just I respect gifted broadcasters. I also did get

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<v Speaker 3>a gifted broadcaster and myself.

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<v Speaker 2>The man's a journalist, and you're not gonna sit here

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<v Speaker 2>and play these games like he's not.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just saying you Google image search dj blad and

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<v Speaker 3>the third picture is him throwing up the w with

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<v Speaker 3>Quincy Jones. Now, if that's not a man to be admired,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't really.

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<v Speaker 2>Know who is. Yeah, that's fair, And I will also

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<v Speaker 2>say that that he seems more like a Russian operative

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<v Speaker 2>based off of his face, a federal agent.

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<v Speaker 3>That's what we need to be looking at. Is like

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<v Speaker 3>him leaking Noriega's secrets to.

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<v Speaker 2>Putin sure is like is like, mister Noriega, You're in

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<v Speaker 2>quite a bit the trouble. Anyway, DJ Vlad is apparently

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<v Speaker 2>not a fed but in fact a Russian operative. We'll

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<v Speaker 2>deal with that another day. But so they go on

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<v Speaker 2>to say, my mama told me that the government is

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<v Speaker 2>putting astrasen atras in in the water supply to make

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<v Speaker 2>black men gay. For more context by biologist Tyrone Hayes,

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<v Speaker 2>claims that, as you know Tyrone Hayes, you're a big

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<v Speaker 2>fan of his work.

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<v Speaker 3>No, don't do that to me. I never met him.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know him. I don't know doctor Sebby. I

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<v Speaker 3>hate texts.

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<v Speaker 2>Tyrone Hayes claims that atras in, a weed killing chemical,

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<v Speaker 2>has been shown to feminize male frogs. Theorists claim that

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<v Speaker 2>traces of this chemical have been found with suspiciously elevated

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<v Speaker 2>amounts in the water supply in predominantly black neighborhoods and cities. Thus,

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<v Speaker 2>these chemicals are put are put there with the intent

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<v Speaker 2>of feminizing otherwise straight black men. I would love to

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<v Speaker 2>hear your take on these absurd claims.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, you want me to go first.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, I'm not.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna do it.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, here's where.

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<v Speaker 2>You have a prepared statement, right, don't you have.

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<v Speaker 3>A as someone who's been claimed to be feminized many

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<v Speaker 3>times by more masculine black men. Hey, I don't think

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<v Speaker 3>that's a bad I think we went too hard with

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<v Speaker 3>the masculine for a minute. And listen, I love the locks,

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<v Speaker 3>right and whatnot. Maybe we need maybe we need to

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<v Speaker 3>relax it a bit. Yeah, maybe we Maybe we need

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<v Speaker 3>maybe black men need, we need a softer edge. It's

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<v Speaker 3>like you just can't go that hard forever.

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<v Speaker 2>Listen. I think I think the point in which we

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<v Speaker 2>had exceeded sort of like masculinity as a black Black

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<v Speaker 2>Robs woe, I think is where it was like it

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<v Speaker 2>was too much you.

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<v Speaker 3>Know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>It was eighty seven men just yelling woe together in

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<v Speaker 2>the streets of New York, not a woman in sight.

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<v Speaker 2>And somehow these were the people that we were like

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<v Speaker 2>admiring and wanting to be like it was too much shit.

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<v Speaker 3>Can I give you a fun anecdote about Black Rob's Woe?

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely?

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<v Speaker 3>Uh, My Auntie and cire leone who speaks no English,

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<v Speaker 3>basically loves that song. I would be in I was

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<v Speaker 3>all like sad with my discman on, and she'd be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>it's not David, and she wanted me to play that

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<v Speaker 3>song and she would just all she just would say

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<v Speaker 3>was whoa and then she would like loves it. So

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<v Speaker 3>it did. It did branch out. But yeah, I think

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<v Speaker 3>the black Crop, I think the fifty. I think whenever

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<v Speaker 3>those G Units sports bras came.

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<v Speaker 2>Out, Yeah, the G Unit tank tops good, I think

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<v Speaker 2>that was the that was we had gone too far.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so masculine that it that it becomes feminine to

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<v Speaker 2>the point that that.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, like now you're wearing a bra. You didn't even

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<v Speaker 3>know you just wanted to be in guerrilla unit.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you were pretending that this was like a bulletproof

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<v Speaker 2>vest tank top, but it truly is just a cute halter.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's a cute halter with the with the with

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<v Speaker 3>the multi colored fringe.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, come on, you look gorgeous to me.

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<v Speaker 3>You look amazing, bright eyes and where you going?

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<v Speaker 2>We are.

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<v Speaker 3>So hey. I do think that I do think there

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<v Speaker 3>needs to be some feminization in general. But also do

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<v Speaker 3>I think they're putting it in the water specific No,

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<v Speaker 3>of course not, because have you've seen what white dudes

0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:14.439
<v Speaker 3>are doing, Like, if it's in our water, it's in

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<v Speaker 3>their commercial. These duds are here crying at medication commercials

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<v Speaker 3>like they're going bad.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I will say I also think that there's something

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<v Speaker 2>a little dangerous about equating feminization and homosexuality. Those are

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<v Speaker 2>two different things, very different things.

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<v Speaker 3>Good. That was a joke.

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<v Speaker 2>We got it our record, folks, positive, I was done

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<v Speaker 2>in this business and it's it's on the mic.

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<v Speaker 3>Listen, shoot or shoot. That was a joke thing, not

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<v Speaker 3>how I feel about anything.

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<v Speaker 2>But no, to that point there, it's they're not the

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<v Speaker 2>same thing, right that, Like, I know very effeminate men

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<v Speaker 2>who happen to have sex with women, and I also

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<v Speaker 2>know some very like hyper masculine dudes who fuck the

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<v Speaker 2>shit out.

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<v Speaker 3>Of other dudes and shout some of my gay thugs.

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<v Speaker 2>Shout out to some of them, and.

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<v Speaker 3>Not all of you, not goons, but everybody else. Sam

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<v Speaker 3>and Giorgio used to tell me because I lived with him,

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<v Speaker 3>he told me there's a gay thugs club in la

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<v Speaker 3>oh whoa. He said, they're just in there with like

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<v Speaker 3>starter jackets and pistols. But also, that's.

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<v Speaker 2>That's interesting because Okay, I have follow up questions, I guess,

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<v Speaker 2>and maybe we need to get Solomon back on the

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<v Speaker 2>pod to get as much clarity as he can provide.

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<v Speaker 2>But but does does that mean it's exclusively gay thugs

0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.880
<v Speaker 2>or is it like this is for the gay thugs,

0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:52.440
<v Speaker 2>but anybody can show up.

0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.079
<v Speaker 3>I think gay thugs are like paprika, where if you

0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.760
<v Speaker 3>put a little bit in, you're gonna know that it's

0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:01.240
<v Speaker 3>in that dish. So I think maybe it was just

0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:04.319
<v Speaker 3>like maybe a club where there was ten gate thugs.

0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:08.280
<v Speaker 2>That's a lot. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, there's a reason why

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.880
<v Speaker 2>when you go to the deli they keep your pickles separate.

0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:14.079
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's gonna change the flavor of that sandwich

0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:15.439
<v Speaker 2>whether you wanted it to or not.

0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:19.520
<v Speaker 3>It only takes one of those strawberry spoonfuls to turn

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:25.280
<v Speaker 3>the whole glass of milk red. That was a weird pink.

0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:28.360
<v Speaker 3>That was a weird analogy. The point is like, and

0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:32.600
<v Speaker 3>I think that's the least explored group. Yeah.

0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:35.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't think Gata get a lot of They don't

0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.040
<v Speaker 2>get a lot of TV time, and when they do,

0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:41.400
<v Speaker 2>it's often associated with like a type of like jail violence.

0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:41.959
<v Speaker 3>Ship.

0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:42.360
<v Speaker 1>But like.

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.720
<v Speaker 2>Home Light went there, but he he didn't even really

0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:49.720
<v Speaker 2>uh he wasn't even at peace in his.

0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.800
<v Speaker 3>Ship, you know. No, he never embraced it. He quite

0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:53.800
<v Speaker 3>the opposite.

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.480
<v Speaker 2>No, he just sat on the couch next to the

0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.840
<v Speaker 2>man of his dreams. Yeah, and didn't even pursue it.

0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.160
<v Speaker 3>Which is crazy because like a black man bearing an emotion,

0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:04.559
<v Speaker 3>I never heard of that.

0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's why it was such a great film, is uh,

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:12.680
<v Speaker 2>they use their imaginations.

0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:15.559
<v Speaker 3>I thought it was gonna jump start the gay thug movement,

0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.280
<v Speaker 3>but you really didn't hear about them after that.

0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.600
<v Speaker 2>No, they were like, oh, he's still in the closet.

0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:24.720
<v Speaker 3>Cool. I will also stay that way from that, like,

0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:26.240
<v Speaker 3>thank god, I'm not crazy.

0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:28.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this motherfucker's doing it right.

0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:30.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah he's got an old school.

0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:34.440
<v Speaker 2>Just show up to a diner at three in the

0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.600
<v Speaker 2>morning and look at the dude. Who you who you've

0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.880
<v Speaker 2>been fawning over for the past twenty years.

0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.760
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, that was really sad. Start.

0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:48.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's a hard movie, but beautiful, beautiful. Same time.

0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:57.440
<v Speaker 2>I think we would be we would be remiss if

0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:01.480
<v Speaker 2>we didn't bring up the fact that that famed conspiracy

0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:07.200
<v Speaker 2>theorist Alex Jones made very similar arguments on his super

0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:12.080
<v Speaker 2>successful podcast, not specific to black people, but more specific

0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:15.960
<v Speaker 2>to the general community or the general like American populist

0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:20.600
<v Speaker 2>that that they are there's an enzyme, a substance in

0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.840
<v Speaker 2>the water that is turning the freakin frogs gay, I

0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:28.360
<v Speaker 2>believe was the quote. And uh, and I guess now

0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:32.840
<v Speaker 2>it is now being targeted specifically at black people, is

0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:33.360
<v Speaker 2>the plan.

0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:36.040
<v Speaker 3>I also, you also have to go into your head

0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:40.120
<v Speaker 3>about so what what harm is that supposedly gonna do.

0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 2>Making black men more feminine.

0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:46.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't know, So what's like then what I

0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:50.680
<v Speaker 3>think and the crimes we commit are overwhelmingly towards one another.

0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:54.720
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I guess. And I have family members who

0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:58.960
<v Speaker 2>have subscribed to to the theory that Hollywood specifically is

0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.840
<v Speaker 2>like over exposing us to gay imagery with the intent

0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:06.800
<v Speaker 2>of making black men less masculine and taking away the

0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:09.560
<v Speaker 2>nuclear family. Blah blah blah blah blah. But I will

0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:13.760
<v Speaker 2>say that the big fear is sort of like reducing

0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:17.840
<v Speaker 2>our population, I think is what they say is ultimately

0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:20.480
<v Speaker 2>what's gonna happen. That if you make men want to

0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:24.760
<v Speaker 2>fuck men, it means less black, proud black babies are born,

0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:28.960
<v Speaker 2>and then you know, you end up erasing deep black identity.

0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.760
<v Speaker 3>So really, what you're saying is to be socially responsible.

0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:35.960
<v Speaker 3>We should all have a lot of kids.

0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:39.360
<v Speaker 2>We should, we should. Nick Cannon is the only one

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:40.880
<v Speaker 2>doing it right, you know what I mean.

0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:42.480
<v Speaker 3>I've been saying it for years.

0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:49.600
<v Speaker 2>I put it on my tombstone, Nick Airlines David Bory.

0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:58.440
<v Speaker 2>Nick Cannon's the only one doing it right. It's a

0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:03.040
<v Speaker 2>confusing tombstone, but it gets the message across you know.

0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:04.919
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and then you're like, damn, this dud was one

0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:05.840
<v Speaker 3>hundred and twenty.

0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:11.440
<v Speaker 2>Nick can it is still alive and he's still doing it, right,

0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:14.440
<v Speaker 2>He's still coming in these ladies and making babies. Hey,

0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:16.960
<v Speaker 2>good for him, man, good for Nick Cannon.

0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:18.080
<v Speaker 3>He's having a good time.

0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:20.480
<v Speaker 2>What do you think about it being in the water though,

0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.280
<v Speaker 2>I believe, and this is something that I think I've

0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:27.159
<v Speaker 2>maintained on the podcast for a long time. I do

0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:30.000
<v Speaker 2>not put it past them to put something weird in

0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:34.840
<v Speaker 2>our water, right, I don't necessarily believe that the sole

0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:40.000
<v Speaker 2>purpose of it is femininization of any person. I think

0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.680
<v Speaker 2>it's not that dissimilar from like yellow number five being

0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.560
<v Speaker 2>in our mountain dew, you know what I mean?

0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:47.920
<v Speaker 3>Like they want you know, I don't do the dew.

0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh but but if you do do that, do because

0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:54.560
<v Speaker 2>of the fear that like it's gonna shrink your balls

0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:57.480
<v Speaker 2>and make your sperm count trash or whatever it is.

0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:00.879
<v Speaker 2>But I don't believe the motherfuckers put that in with

0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:05.080
<v Speaker 2>the intent on shrinking balls or reducing sperm count. I

0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.399
<v Speaker 2>think they put it in because it made the mountain

0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.320
<v Speaker 2>dew look more awesome. And then when they found out.

0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:13.119
<v Speaker 3>Wait wait wait, wait, wait wait wait do you like

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:13.800
<v Speaker 3>mountain dew?

0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:20.320
<v Speaker 2>It was mainly my main source of hydration for I

0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.800
<v Speaker 2>would say two thirds of my life. And then I

0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:30.959
<v Speaker 2>changed my ways. Hey, I'm sorry, man, who I fucking

0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:34.960
<v Speaker 2>loved mountain dew for a long time. What's going on?

0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Is that crazy? I loved it? It was my everything.

0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:42.720
<v Speaker 2>I used to buy big gulps.

0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:43.280
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.639
<v Speaker 2>This was back and there was a gas station by

0:18:45.720 --> 0:18:48.000
<v Speaker 2>my house that had like a fake big gulp because

0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:49.320
<v Speaker 2>seven eleven had branded it.

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:52.200
<v Speaker 3>But they got like a huge yeah you get it.

0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:56.679
<v Speaker 2>I'd go and I say, hello, sir, one huge slurk please,

0:18:56.760 --> 0:18:58.240
<v Speaker 2>and he say, get the fuck out.

0:18:58.160 --> 0:19:03.119
<v Speaker 3>Of my mountain dude, my man, but.

0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, real British, what I'm ordering a mountain do. But

0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:11.240
<v Speaker 2>so this gas station not only had like the huge

0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:15.159
<v Speaker 2>slurps available, but they had a free refill policy for

0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:17.879
<v Speaker 2>the day. And I would get a I would wake up,

0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:20.800
<v Speaker 2>I'd be there by like nine thirty ten am, fill

0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:23.800
<v Speaker 2>it with mountain dew, and then refill it like twice

0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:29.520
<v Speaker 2>a day before like fucking bedtime. I was drinking literally

0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:32.840
<v Speaker 2>gallons of mountain dew every day. So the fact that

0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:36.560
<v Speaker 2>I have a child is a absolute miracle. It is

0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:41.440
<v Speaker 2>beyond reason and God's will that I that I'm able

0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.120
<v Speaker 2>to have a person that I can call my own.

0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:47.840
<v Speaker 3>You know, this is this is this is wild.

0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:50.119
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm sorry, bro, I'm not.

0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:53.520
<v Speaker 3>Don't be upset. Honestly, I'll tell you the truth. In

0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:55.359
<v Speaker 3>my family, my own mom is.

0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:58.440
<v Speaker 2>A he's adhead.

0:19:58.960 --> 0:20:01.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I accept her. Like you know, we don't,

0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:04.200
<v Speaker 3>like we take pictures together.

0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:09.320
<v Speaker 2>He put that twenty ounce down. I want to we

0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:10.760
<v Speaker 2>gotta take a family photo.

0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:13.560
<v Speaker 3>I always assumed it's because she was so little that

0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:16.160
<v Speaker 3>she gets, like because my mom's she's like four ten

0:20:16.359 --> 0:20:19.400
<v Speaker 3>or four eleven five foot That's what I always assumed

0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:22.200
<v Speaker 3>that was because it gets because it tastes bad and

0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:25.240
<v Speaker 3>that color is not cool, that color looks like something

0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:26.560
<v Speaker 3>it looks like, and I freeze.

0:20:27.080 --> 0:20:29.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what to tell you, man, it used

0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:30.280
<v Speaker 2>to tastes real awesome to me.

0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:33.800
<v Speaker 3>I'ven't had you. It sounds like you still love it.

0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:37.119
<v Speaker 3>You just know you can't. It's like a bad ex girlfriend.

0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:37.680
<v Speaker 3>I think.

0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:39.919
<v Speaker 2>I think in a lot of ways, that's what soda

0:20:40.160 --> 0:20:43.200
<v Speaker 2>is for me, Like pop soda, whatever the fuck y'all

0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:47.280
<v Speaker 2>call it. It's it's it was so special to me

0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:51.200
<v Speaker 2>and we we did so much together that I can't

0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:53.879
<v Speaker 2>go back to it because I know it's only gonna

0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:55.280
<v Speaker 2>create hurt and pain.

0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:59.320
<v Speaker 3>Wow, this is man. I don't know why I've just

0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:01.439
<v Speaker 3>I guess I've always known you to seem like you're

0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:05.960
<v Speaker 3>about your ship. I never I never imagined a mountain

0:21:06.040 --> 0:21:06.560
<v Speaker 3>do guy.

0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:09.560
<v Speaker 2>No, my nigga, I was. I was mountain dew and honey.

0:21:09.280 --> 0:21:09.840
<v Speaker 3>You doing to do?

0:21:10.480 --> 0:21:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:15.680
<v Speaker 3>I could tell because you said that awesome color. That's

0:21:15.760 --> 0:21:18.120
<v Speaker 3>what like hipped me off where I was like, wait

0:21:18.200 --> 0:21:21.720
<v Speaker 3>a second, wait a minute.

0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:26.080
<v Speaker 2>He thinks that's cool. Something's gonna ry here.

0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:29.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh man, I mean if you don't take anything and

0:21:29.800 --> 0:21:33.200
<v Speaker 3>I listeners, please email in and see if maybe I'm

0:21:33.280 --> 0:21:34.560
<v Speaker 3>crazy for being surprised.

0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:37.640
<v Speaker 2>I actually think you're you're you're a little off base here.

0:21:37.680 --> 0:21:40.720
<v Speaker 2>I think more people were and and maybe are even

0:21:40.880 --> 0:21:43.120
<v Speaker 2>currently drinking mountain Dew than you think.

0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:46.280
<v Speaker 3>That's probably true. It's still being made.

0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:49.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, No, it's they. I don't think they took a

0:21:49.280 --> 0:21:51.040
<v Speaker 2>hit in the pandemic, do you know what I mean?

0:21:51.080 --> 0:21:53.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't think they're like struggling to find a new

0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:55.840
<v Speaker 2>base of of I do think.

0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:59.040
<v Speaker 3>They didn't want minorities. I think they wanted us to

0:21:59.119 --> 0:21:59.719
<v Speaker 3>drink sprite.

0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:02.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, no, that that was That was a much more

0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:08.480
<v Speaker 2>like awesome, we're fucking skateboarding and thrashing. Yeah, drink and yes, Olivia.

0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:12.359
<v Speaker 2>Olivia's mentioning Code red, And I do think Code Red

0:22:12.600 --> 0:22:15.280
<v Speaker 2>was there sort of like nod to black people. It

0:22:15.400 --> 0:22:18.800
<v Speaker 2>was no, I think absolutely, I think that was them going.

0:22:18.680 --> 0:22:21.000
<v Speaker 3>It would have been code purple. First of all, well.

0:22:20.920 --> 0:22:23.240
<v Speaker 2>They got to purple. If you've kept up with Mountain Dew,

0:22:23.280 --> 0:22:33.760
<v Speaker 2>they eventually they eventually went purple. And have I tried

0:22:33.800 --> 0:22:35.560
<v Speaker 2>all the flavors? Goddamn right I have.

0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:37.560
<v Speaker 3>Do you ever do a do in secret?

0:22:37.680 --> 0:22:37.800
<v Speaker 1>Now?

0:22:37.960 --> 0:22:40.240
<v Speaker 3>Like if it's just been like a rough week, baby

0:22:40.280 --> 0:22:47.879
<v Speaker 3>won't stop crying, boss screaming down your neck, I like

0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:48.800
<v Speaker 3>that in your head.

0:22:49.280 --> 0:22:52.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm like passed out on my couch, like just from

0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:56.840
<v Speaker 2>drinking six dudes, and my wife comes down and she's like, yeah,

0:22:57.040 --> 0:23:00.320
<v Speaker 2>you gotta get it together. You're fucking sick. Here's sick.

0:23:00.560 --> 0:23:04.520
<v Speaker 2>It's killing our family, And like I can't, it's too delicious.

0:23:04.640 --> 0:23:05.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing the duke.

0:23:08.359 --> 0:23:09.600
<v Speaker 3>That's exactly what it's like.

0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Look at you, you're fucking sick.

0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:18.320
<v Speaker 3>You got like a white beater artists on stane.

0:23:20.240 --> 0:23:26.920
<v Speaker 2>With that awesome color. We're going to stand my sisters.

0:23:27.240 --> 0:23:28.720
<v Speaker 2>I can't be around you any how.

0:23:29.760 --> 0:23:31.640
<v Speaker 3>It's either me or the baby or the duke.

0:23:34.520 --> 0:23:37.160
<v Speaker 2>And I go, well, strap me to a mountain, sister,

0:23:37.600 --> 0:23:38.880
<v Speaker 2>because I'm doing the dew.

0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:42.880
<v Speaker 3>I don't make it do what it do. Oh, that's

0:23:43.000 --> 0:23:46.160
<v Speaker 3>so funny anyway.

0:23:46.600 --> 0:23:49.560
<v Speaker 2>And my point is that I think I think that

0:23:49.680 --> 0:23:52.639
<v Speaker 2>they did not intentionally put anything in the water for

0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:56.200
<v Speaker 2>the sake of necessarily harming us as much as harmful

0:23:56.280 --> 0:23:59.320
<v Speaker 2>shit ends up in our water, and they're perfectly fine

0:23:59.400 --> 0:24:01.120
<v Speaker 2>with whatever happens on the back.

0:24:01.040 --> 0:24:05.119
<v Speaker 3>End, right right, Yeah, I think the feminine feminization is

0:24:05.320 --> 0:24:09.879
<v Speaker 3>just like, uh, but also I don't see that women

0:24:09.960 --> 0:24:15.280
<v Speaker 3>are getting more feminine, So what about that? Hmmm, spit.

0:24:16.560 --> 0:24:19.240
<v Speaker 3>That's the whole I realize. As soon as I started

0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:22.359
<v Speaker 3>talking about it, I was like, this is this is

0:24:22.520 --> 0:24:23.880
<v Speaker 3>shaky ground. Yeah.

0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how to prove it or disability.

0:24:26.040 --> 0:24:28.680
<v Speaker 3>I just don't like, I don't see women getting more

0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:31.560
<v Speaker 3>like it doesn't seem like that to me.

0:24:32.000 --> 0:24:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Sure, It's not like they're like permanently walking on their

0:24:34.680 --> 0:24:39.760
<v Speaker 2>tiptoes now, So uh, yeah, it's you're just still regular ladies.

0:24:39.840 --> 0:24:44.320
<v Speaker 2>And I think men are just becoming less toxic. Maybe

0:24:44.480 --> 0:24:45.440
<v Speaker 2>maybe that's what it is.

0:24:45.800 --> 0:24:49.000
<v Speaker 3>I really think we're just like acknowledging emotions and nobody

0:24:49.080 --> 0:24:50.639
<v Speaker 3>knows what to do with it.

0:24:51.080 --> 0:24:54.200
<v Speaker 2>They're like this, this motherfucker gotta be gay because he

0:24:54.359 --> 0:24:57.000
<v Speaker 2>keeps talking about how he made peace with his dad.

0:24:57.680 --> 0:25:00.840
<v Speaker 3>Right, I go to therapy everyone. I haven't done that

0:25:00.960 --> 0:25:04.480
<v Speaker 3>dad thing, but some other good shit, some other good shit.

0:25:05.119 --> 0:25:07.880
<v Speaker 3>Look at you there, that's the target I might kill.

0:25:08.359 --> 0:25:14.440
<v Speaker 3>But the point is, I don't think we should be

0:25:14.520 --> 0:25:17.719
<v Speaker 3>afraid of the feminization of the black man. That's all

0:25:17.720 --> 0:25:18.160
<v Speaker 3>I'm saying.

0:25:18.440 --> 0:25:21.920
<v Speaker 2>So I think I agree. I think it's perfectly normal

0:25:22.000 --> 0:25:24.560
<v Speaker 2>to fear the substances that they're putting in our water,

0:25:25.080 --> 0:25:29.120
<v Speaker 2>and we should examine all of it and maybe start

0:25:29.160 --> 0:25:31.800
<v Speaker 2>figuring out better things or safer ways to drink it.

0:25:32.160 --> 0:25:34.760
<v Speaker 2>But I don't think being gay is the byproduct of

0:25:35.119 --> 0:25:36.280
<v Speaker 2>of what's happening there.

0:25:36.560 --> 0:25:38.440
<v Speaker 3>I think that's as good as we can do on this.

0:25:38.920 --> 0:25:42.560
<v Speaker 2>All right, Well, I want to finish this off because

0:25:42.680 --> 0:25:45.920
<v Speaker 2>Dogan also added, now that David is on the show.

0:25:46.000 --> 0:25:48.080
<v Speaker 2>They said, ps, now that David is on the show,

0:25:48.400 --> 0:25:51.679
<v Speaker 2>I would be honored to create an updated Afro surrealist

0:25:51.760 --> 0:25:55.920
<v Speaker 2>HOTEP conspiracy inspired cover art featuring the both of you.

0:25:56.320 --> 0:25:57.960
<v Speaker 2>Feel free to let me know if you intend on

0:25:58.040 --> 0:26:02.480
<v Speaker 2>providing an opportunity for a black, queer, disabled artists, or

0:26:02.600 --> 0:26:07.000
<v Speaker 2>if you will choose to uphold patriarchy patriarchal white supremacy

0:26:07.359 --> 0:26:12.200
<v Speaker 2>by denying a member of intersectional, intersectionally oppressed community and

0:26:12.320 --> 0:26:14.960
<v Speaker 2>opportunity for their artwork to be seen. The ball is

0:26:15.000 --> 0:26:16.520
<v Speaker 2>in your court, looking forward.

0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:18.199
<v Speaker 3>To the next I respect that do gone, because that's

0:26:18.240 --> 0:26:20.760
<v Speaker 3>how I got every job I ever got in Hollywood.

0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:23.479
<v Speaker 3>You're not gonna let a black man ride for Beavis

0:26:23.520 --> 0:26:24.040
<v Speaker 3>and butt Head.

0:26:25.560 --> 0:26:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, let me say this. I do think we need

0:26:27.840 --> 0:26:29.760
<v Speaker 2>to update the cover art. I think David is an

0:26:29.880 --> 0:26:31.840
<v Speaker 2>essential member of this team now and we need to

0:26:31.920 --> 0:26:34.280
<v Speaker 2>reflect that in the cover art that said, I'm not

0:26:34.400 --> 0:26:36.560
<v Speaker 2>letting no intersectional motherfucker do it.

0:26:37.000 --> 0:26:37.119
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

0:26:40.000 --> 0:26:43.040
<v Speaker 3>You said that, you heard it, You heard it out

0:26:43.080 --> 0:26:44.800
<v Speaker 3>of his mountain dew stained lips.

0:26:45.600 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 2>Take your intersectional ass to the intersectional welfare line where

0:26:49.320 --> 0:26:52.719
<v Speaker 2>you belong as far as I'm concerned. No, that's very

0:26:52.840 --> 0:26:55.280
<v Speaker 2>lovely of you, Dogon, and we would we would love

0:26:55.400 --> 0:26:59.160
<v Speaker 2>to see your work. It would be lovely. All right,

0:26:59.440 --> 0:27:01.639
<v Speaker 2>we did it. Could you tell the people where they

0:27:01.680 --> 0:27:03.760
<v Speaker 2>can find you and what cool shit you have going on?

0:27:04.040 --> 0:27:04.240
<v Speaker 1>Ah?

0:27:04.400 --> 0:27:06.560
<v Speaker 3>You can find me on Instagram at cool Guy Jokes

0:27:06.680 --> 0:27:10.399
<v Speaker 3>eighty seven Fadedcomedydenver dot com. If you want to come

0:27:10.440 --> 0:27:15.240
<v Speaker 3>out to my monthly showcase in Denver only having black

0:27:15.280 --> 0:27:17.840
<v Speaker 3>and brown headliners from across the country, people that I

0:27:17.960 --> 0:27:20.800
<v Speaker 3>really love and bringing them to Denver because sometimes it's hard.

0:27:21.119 --> 0:27:24.760
<v Speaker 3>And then you know, just you know, I'm on some shit.

0:27:24.800 --> 0:27:29.800
<v Speaker 2>Torry about me, yes, and I'll be headlining that and

0:27:29.840 --> 0:27:33.639
<v Speaker 2>where our dates were very wrong on that that weekend

0:27:33.680 --> 0:27:35.760
<v Speaker 2>that I think I'm supposed to be doing it. I

0:27:35.840 --> 0:27:39.400
<v Speaker 2>think it's nine to sixteen that I'm heading to Denver.

0:27:39.640 --> 0:27:42.840
<v Speaker 3>To that makes sense? Find that Oh you know what

0:27:43.520 --> 0:27:47.480
<v Speaker 3>that is? Right? Because nine fifteen I'm doing an hour

0:27:47.560 --> 0:27:50.800
<v Speaker 3>at Theollsian in Los Angeles and then I'm flying back

0:27:50.840 --> 0:27:53.520
<v Speaker 3>to Denver for the Langston show.

0:27:53.840 --> 0:27:58.119
<v Speaker 2>Hell yeah, we're trading places and then not we'll be

0:27:58.200 --> 0:27:58.760
<v Speaker 2>there together.

0:27:58.880 --> 0:28:00.639
<v Speaker 3>But please go and place is together.

0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:04.280
<v Speaker 2>Go see David headline The Allegion, and then go see

0:28:04.359 --> 0:28:07.600
<v Speaker 2>us go somewhere together out in Denver for a Faded

0:28:07.640 --> 0:28:10.040
<v Speaker 2>comedy and as always, you can follow me at Langston

0:28:10.119 --> 0:28:12.320
<v Speaker 2>Kerman on all the platforms, and if you want to

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:15.960
<v Speaker 2>send us your own conspiracy theories, your drops, your emails,

0:28:16.280 --> 0:28:20.119
<v Speaker 2>your accusations of not being inclusive enough, please send it

0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:23.000
<v Speaker 2>to Mymama pod at gmail dot com. We would love

0:28:23.080 --> 0:28:30.960
<v Speaker 2>to hear from you. Otherwise, that's it, Bye, bitch, motherfucking.

0:28:30.440 --> 0:28:41.360
<v Speaker 1>Mini your soul many years so, motherfucking Mini, yoursel, motherfucking Mini,

0:28:41.440 --> 0:28:47.320
<v Speaker 1>yoursel miniyearsis, mother fucking Mini. Eear a soul