WEBVTT - NLP Kwanzaa Special 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:03.360 Native Land Pod is a production of iHeartRadio in partnership 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:04.600 with Resent Choice Media. 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:08.400 Welcome, Welcome, Well come, well come, well come, welcome. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:13.800 Hey, fam, We hope you had an amazing Christmas and 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:16.800 also happy Kwansa and just happy holidays, but whatever you're 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:20.320 celebrating during this time of year. For this week's episode, 0:00:20.320 --> 0:00:23.599 we're going to do something a little different. We're broadcasting 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:26.120 a very special holiday segment and a couple of our 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:29.360 favorite mini pods from throughout the year that will help 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:32.280 you get through these times that can be challenging for 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:34.959 some of you for many reasons. Maybe you've lost somebody, 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:38.600 maybe you're going through a breakup. Maybe you have political 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:40.960 strife and disagreement in your family, maybe you have a 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:44.159 beef with friends. Whatever you're going through, you are welcome 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:47.480 home here. You have a seat at our table always, 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:49.640 and so we just wanted to get into a little 0:00:49.640 --> 0:00:53.240 conversation and talk about how to manage those challenging times 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.080 and take a look back at some of our favorite 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:56.200 conversations from the year. 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:58.040 So pull up a chair and join us. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:01.520 All right, I know, I'll be honest. For me, the 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:03.920 holidays are definitely challenging, but for a lot of people. 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:06.440 It's a very joyful times. I don't want to act 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.160 like it's all doom and gloom for everybody. This year 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.120 maybe felt a little different for a lot of people. 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:12.759 But Andrew, what about you? 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:13.880 Are you? You have little ones? 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:14.040 Though? 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:16.160 I feel like little ones always bring an element of 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:17.280 joy to the holidays. 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:21.920 Yeah, bring an element of something. I broke empty wallet, 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:27.440 you know, you know the exactly except I'm calling all 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:31.759 three of them by name, likely the wrong ones, but anyway, 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:37.680 you know, the holidays absolutely shifted for me with and 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:40.840 I think Jay would reflect the same with kids, because 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:43.880 it went from being about what I was going to 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:45.480 get her and what she was going to get me, 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:48.280 and what we were getting our parents and siblings and whatnot, 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:51.280 to like, how do we make this very special for 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:54.720 the kids? I mean, we've created our own set of 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:58.560 traditions around it, right like the day after Thanksgiving, the 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:02.080 kids are like on me Ddy, the tree, the lights, 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:04.600 the you know, and we spend all day doing that. 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:08.000 And they are as much a part of it as 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:10.080 as I am. In fact, they're more a part of it, 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:14.480 and they take great pride in that. So so much 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:19.400 of it for our household has shifted to be you know, 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:22.680 the kids centerfold. But you know I'd be lying if 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:25.480 I didn't, you know, also say that, you know, I 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:29.360 have real strong thoughts about my family members who aren't 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:32.440 with us, My brother Eric, who passed away actually the 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.320 year that my twins were born in a in an accident, 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.000 my father who passed away, you know, a month and 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:43.360 a half after my loss, and the and the governor's race, 0:02:44.120 --> 0:02:50.520 and I have you know, regrets that are visited upon 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:55.320 me during that time. I also am challenged typically as 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:58.280 we approach the new year around like taking stock of 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.400 what I did the last year, and like, am I 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:04.000 proud of it? Am I let down by it? Did 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:06.720 I let myself down? Other people around me let down? 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:09.640 Am I inspired by it? Did I do so much 0:03:09.720 --> 0:03:12.160 that I think? How am I going to top this 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:15.560 in the coming year? Actually, I have to say I'm 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.639 probably more triggered about the new year than I am 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:22.360 about you know, the sort of Christmas kwansa. You know, 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.800 you know that part of the season, that part for 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:29.320 me is more joyous the beginning. But as I start 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.400 to turn toward the next year, and because I am 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:37.840 very self critical, almost always my reflection is about how 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:40.960 I want to do more and better and really get 0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:44.680 this thing done. It really hit that goal, really organize 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:48.320 myself differently, really pay attention to myself, or really pay 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:52.160 attention to my partner. That that gives me a lot 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:57.560 of strain, and it's probably why I don't make resolutions anymore. 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:02.160 Jay approaches the new year with a theme of like, 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.839 you want to center myself more or something like that. 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:09.920 I find those a little challenging and I absolutely find, 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:14.160 you know, the resolutions like just untenable for me, and 0:04:14.200 --> 0:04:16.480 it puts me in a real kind of awkward state. 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:18.960 In fact, almost every New Year's evens sort of weird. 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:22.680 I'm either trying to get mad at something, trying to 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:26.320 get upset about something as an excuse for not having 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:29.400 to deepen into like what I'm really afraid and terrified of, 0:04:29.480 --> 0:04:33.080 which is like a reflection and then a projecting forward 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.240 about how to be better, or. 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:38.239 The police is coming down the street right now for somebody. 0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:40.040 Oh lord, not in my house. 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:44.400 Ten years always anyway, I've never heard it before. 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:46.680 The whole podcast has been going. 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:50.040 I just heard it now. Maybe Joe Biden is going 0:04:50.080 --> 0:04:54.080 to free some people. But let us, let us pray 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:59.479 I am. You know, the holidays shifted for me. My 0:04:59.520 --> 0:05:01.960 grandmother it was one hundred and five and her birthday 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:05.200 is on Christmas and she passed away a couple of 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:08.840 years ago. And my mom last year said she wanted 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:10.920 to have a really big Christmas because she was just 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:14.560 on the other side of a triple negative breast cancer diagnosis, 0:05:14.920 --> 0:05:16.960 and so we did a huge Christmas. 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.320 I was exhausted for three days. I didn't want. 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:22.039 To feed her and everything. We cook so much food 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:26.800 and order to pajamas for sixty five people. It was fun, 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:30.680 but it was a lot. And so this year, with 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:33.840 my mom wrestling with cancer again, you know, I've just 0:05:33.839 --> 0:05:36.520 been talking to her about, you know, what she wants 0:05:36.560 --> 0:05:38.040 to do, and she's just like, I don't know. 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:39.159 So we're gonna do something. 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.320 I know this is after Christmas, but just being full disclosure, 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:44.560 we record this before Christmas because we weren't gonna give 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:48.160 that to y'all too. But I just, you know, I'm 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.680 wrestling with what we're gonna do and wanting to make 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:54.279 sure that it's her way, you know. But it is hard, 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.800 and I think some of it is like aging Tip 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.400 was talking about little ones. I wanted I want little ones, 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.679 and to not have them still to be doing stuff 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.400 for Christmas is hard. But I'm so grateful for the 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.560 kids who are in my life and for the many 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:09.880 ways that you all make this holiday special. 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.200 And it's just time to. 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:16.560 Celebrate in my religion, my my faith, the coming of 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:19.280 the save y'all, and so I'm always happy about that. 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:22.799 Christmas Carols is going, lights getting put up, trees getting 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:23.080 put up. 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:27.000 You guys. I ordered a black tree. I love it. 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:29.560 I was very here. 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:36.400 Being black everything black. IM wear black uniform instead of gene. 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:38.640 I'm just I'm feeling real black right now. So I 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.320 even got a black tree with black ornaments. It's white lights, 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.160 but it's all black everything on that damn tree. 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:45.560 I love that. 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:47.520 I don't know what that had to do with tips question, 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:48.960 but I felt like that was a good time to 0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:50.680 tell you I got with the. 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:54.680 Question, are y'all a white are y'all white lights or 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:55.760 a colored lights? 0:06:56.120 --> 0:07:02.080 I have no tree in my house. I used to 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.680 get a real tree and I would have my friend Mail. 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.000 He would help me carrying my tree up and decorate. 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:08.520 And then I'm like, why am I doing this? 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:08.880 Every year? 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:10.800 I got pines all over my floor and I got a. 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:12.960 Clean im not doing it. 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:15.040 It does, but it just became too much work. 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:18.200 Right, So now I don't decree water so the pine 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:19.600 needles don't fall as much. 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:24.040 No, they hurt, yeah, but even carrying it in and 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:25.960 out and it's just too much. And it's like I 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:27.960 don't have kids, Like why am I doing this? So 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:30.040 I really don't do any of the Christmas Day is 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:32.760 the day where I can binge, watch whatever I want. 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:35.120 I don't have the expectation that I got to respond 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.640 to somebody's text. You know, I hate being on my phone, 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:41.600 So it's just a day of relaxation and relief for me. 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.600 I think the sadness comes from there was a time 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:47.720 where I was young and innocent to everything, and I 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:50.480 was like surrounded by family and doing things, and I 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:53.679 think that Christmas magic kind of left me and lost 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:55.840 with my Maybe I was around eleven or twelve when 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:58.080 things just happening in my family and it just didn't 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.360 feel right, you know, it didn't feel Christmas anymore. And 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:05.480 so I entered adulthood way before I was an actual adult. 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:07.920 And of course you have all these I can go 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:10.560 anywhere I want on Christmas, I have so many invitations, 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:12.200 but it's like, you know, I'm just gonna take the 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:16.440 day and chill. And sometimes I'll stop by people's house 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:19.280 and get a plate, but I really just binge, watch 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:22.880 movies and relax. So I get that there's some heavy 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:24.640 It could be heaviness to be by yourself. It could 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:28.760 be heaviness to be around people. I protect my peace. 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:31.920 That is the mode I'm in. I'm instituting boundaries and 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:36.199 protecting my peace and being by myself feels right. When 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:38.120 I say by myself, I mean like I'm not with 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:38.840 my family. 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:41.320 You know, you know I'm not. 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:43.520 Family. 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:47.720 Yeah, when was the last time year with your family? 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:54.120 Andrew asked, oh, oh god, how honestly? 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:55.160 Probably the nineties? 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:57.000 Wow? Probably. 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:58.360 And I was just getting ready to say when you 0:08:58.400 --> 0:09:00.600 were saying, oh I binge watched it, I was, okay, Tip, 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:03.160 you've been saying, an invitation to Seattle is about to 0:09:03.200 --> 0:09:04.520 be like you ain't got to be by yourself. 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:05.439 But she's like, I ain't. 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:06.920 Got to be around Florida. 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:08.880 Yeah, And I have so many people who are like 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:11.080 come over like friends and like people. You know, your 0:09:11.080 --> 0:09:12.920 friends become your family, and it's like people who in 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:15.120 close parks and like come over, come over. But then 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:17.240 that becomes a thing, and like I got to pull 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:19.079 myself together and it's like, no, I ain't got to 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.000 put no braw on today. I could put on my 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.199 q ol plannel pajama. I can eat whatever I want. 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:27.400 Sometimes I order like from Joe's, like three hundred dollars 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.160 of stone cold crabs, and I'm just like, you know, 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:35.439 so I can enjoy myself in that way. But I 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:39.560 totally empathize because I'm not. I'm not sad on Christmas 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:43.400 and so, but I do think about people who are sad, 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.600 you know, who are like I'm sad because I got 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:47.960 to be around somebody, or I'm sad because there is 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:51.120 there are no invitations for me, like there is nowhere 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:53.640 for me to go, and so I honor like what 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:55.720 those people must you know, what it must feel like 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:56.040 for them. 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:58.600 And they again, y'all have a home here. 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.120 Well, who's cooking? Since this is home? 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:12.840 I shook for myself. 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.319 The thing I make the best when it comes to 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:17.959 Christmas stuff is mac and cheese. 0:10:18.000 --> 0:10:20.120 I will battle anybody on mac and cheese. If you don't. 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:23.760 Like like my mac and cheese, well you don't like truffle. 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.400 You might not like it, but my mac and cheese, 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:30.760 I like, I would have said dressing Angela, but I yes, 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:35.280 but made it this seafood dressing. And she was telling 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:38.480 us about it in our our group chat. So I 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.440 don't even want to compete for that. I'm like, just 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:43.320 you just make me the seafood dressing, and I do 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:44.439 a really good apple cobbler. 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:45.880 Those are the things that I do. 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.480 I think we should have an NLP pop look because 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:50.760 I wanted to try to show down. 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:51.800 I'm so down. 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:53.840 I'm to volunteer J. 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:59.320 J cooking, But you talk about your mother in law's 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:00.560 cooking like. 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:03.200 My mother in law and my mother all and guess 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.480 what we're hosting and both of all of them going 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:11.040 to be here, and so everybody's making something and I eat. 0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:15.240 You know, my contribution is I do breakfast, you know, 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:20.680 not quite the holiday and give pancakes, eggs, bacon. 0:11:21.320 --> 0:11:23.920 You make pancake better from scratch or it's out the box? 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:26.120 Hell no from the box? 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.120 Okay, well let's move right along for this, say everybody, 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.320 everybody's pancakes from the box don't taste good. 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:35.400 Nick telling us we got a racket, but good. 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:39.760 That's why I didn't volunteer. That's why I didn't volunteer 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:41.360 any of my dishes right. 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:42.880 Because I still want to try them, Andrew. 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:45.760 But before the space becomes unsafe, we want to talk 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:48.679 to you all about is this space really safe? And 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.920 that is a many probably did earlier this year, and 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:56.280 that conversation, y'all got pretty heated, which we don't love those, 0:11:56.360 --> 0:11:59.080 but it was important for us to engage and to 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.760 speak our truth. We took an opportunity to ask ourselves 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:06.160 how do we create a safe space? Given our pledge 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:08.360 to you all every week to make sure Native Lampod 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.840 is a safe space. We hope that you enjoy this 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:15.200 particular segment and maybe take away some tips for how 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:19.080 you make a safe space for you and yours all. 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.920 Right, Welcome home, everybody. This is Tiffany Cross, Andrew Gailam 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:25.240 and Angela Rai and you are tuned into this week's 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:29.240 mini pop Welcome home again. Home is not enthusiastic enough. 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:34.760 We mean it. 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:35.400 We mean it. 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:37.360 I mean it. I don't have to yell to be. 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:38.240 We mean it. 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:39.080 Welcome home. 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:42.520 This is our home and this is your home, and 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:47.560 just like any family, we have disagreements sometimes, and so 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:49.959 we thought it was important to share one of those 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.280 more heated, intense discussions that we had last week with 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:57.720 you all, and to know that right after that podcast 0:12:57.800 --> 0:13:01.600 was over, maybe ten minutes after everybody was good, we 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:04.080 were all all back, because that's how. 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:07.240 It works with family. Will you skip some steps, but 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:10.200 I'll let you have it? Well, do you we can 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.480 say what we want to say about it? And Andrew, 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:14.160 do you want me to say the whole thing or 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:16.240 do you want me to say. 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:19.000 I'll say this is I knew that in the moment 0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:22.880 while we had already had a long day, and then 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:26.120 of course we got to the subject of what value 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:29.400 each of us puts on what we choose and desire 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:33.199 to platform. And that does feel a little personal because 0:13:33.240 --> 0:13:35.600 you're now asking me what lens, what vet do I 0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:38.719 put on on on what I think we should be 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:41.640 talking about on this show, and to the extent that 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:45.720 we scrutinize each other's you know, vetting, it can feel 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.080 real personal. So I completely got that. But I will 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:50.559 sell you this and I think I said this Angelou tip. 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.440 I can't remember who one of y'all that what I 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:57.000 knew in that moment, although it was very tense, and 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.520 and whatnot was that that we were not going to 0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:07.439 leave New York without resolution, which is not something that 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:12.960 I would bet on in many relationships that I know of. Friendships, 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:18.480 romantic relationships are otherwise, where you have confidence that there's 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:23.080 enough love and respect in this space that before we 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:27.560 leave this place we will be reconciled, even if it 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:30.040 is we still disagree. But guess what, it was never 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:35.000 my intention to hurt you and not I'm really sorry 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:37.000 that you were hurt by what I say, like that 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:41.200 backhanded thing, right fact, that's not going to happen because 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:44.520 that's not who we are. That's not who we are 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.080 at this stage in our lives. And the other thing 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.720 that I appreciate about who we are and not who 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:51.440 we are about this stage in our lives is that 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.240 I don't think either of us feel like we've got 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:58.000 to beast one another, like we got to one up end. 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:01.280 I don't feel like I have anything to prove to 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:03.200 either one of you. What I felt like I want 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.800 to do is to show up as my best self 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.720 every time, and even in those moments where I can't, 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:11.640 I want to be able to count on the fact 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:14.360 that y'all know me well enough that you and love 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.600 me and care for me enough that you'll have grace 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:21.360 and those moments where we can't. And so I just 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:24.040 I know y'all have more to say about this because 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:27.320 you had some after conversation. I just felt like, I 0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:29.120 know it's heated right now, but you know what, keep 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:33.119 it pushing, because we're not leaving this space without feeling complete. 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:34.000 I love that. 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:34.760 I think. 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:36.600 You know. 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:40.200 I was feeling really defensive, and I was telling Tiff 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:43.200 when we walked out of the room, like we were 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:46.040 all walking down the stairs quietly we recorded some other 0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:49.480 evergreen content that honestly it might end up being trash 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.320 because my energy was completely off. 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:52.760 I wouldn't even hardly. 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:53.000 Look at it. 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:55.480 And I was like looking silently talking to Andrew. Feels 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:57.880 like he was talking to which doesn't just happen when 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:00.800 we're mad. Sometimes Andrew to preach it anywhere by himself. 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:03.400 He'd be like, somebody gonna get it, hello, lights. 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.240 But the bottom line is I literally walked out the room. 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.760 I turned around ativity I was like, you heard my feelings, 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.080 and I was in tears, and then she was like, don't cry, 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:14.320 You're gonna make me cry, and that is I mean, 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:14.720 that's it. 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.160 I think that part of. 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:20.360 I think part of what happened is, you know, a 0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:24.960 lot of times in life people aren't in tune with 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:29.320 where they are on their journeys, and so I think 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.680 I've done a lot of work from a therapy perspective 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:36.880 to like, no, oh, this person was rising up because 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:38.760 sixth grade Angela showed up. 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:43.520 I was feeling bullied. Nobody was saying anything to bully me, 0:16:43.720 --> 0:16:44.600 but I was feeling it. 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:47.920 And Tiff give it. Being the media strategy she is, 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:49.680 she was like, oh my god, I could see that 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.440 because you were literally sandwich between me and Andrew and 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.160 we were on the same side. You were in the middle, 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:56.080 so you're like squished. I was like, oh my god, 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:57.160 I didn't even think about that. 0:16:57.600 --> 0:16:58.320 So there's that. 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:01.480 Plus I'm not sleeping where work really hard on Marilyn 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:04.760 Moseby's petition, like there's so many things happening, I'm waking 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:07.000 up at tiffany hours, and for any of you all 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:08.760 that know me, no, like I'm a night out, so 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.040 that means I'm sleeping like three or four hours right now. 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.760 So I think I was uniquely tender from that just 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:16.440 like when you have a little kid with if it's 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:18.160 your child, you know, it's like, oh no, you need 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.720 to go to bed. It was one of those sleepy 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.280 you're not thinking clearly, you're you know, you're delirious, and 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.920 I just I was feeling tender, and so I thank 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:31.520 God for this safe podspace that we've created where I 0:17:31.520 --> 0:17:34.480 could say I'm feeling tender. And when Tiff said you 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.880 think I said that, how I heard it was very 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:40.800 different than her intention because she started feeling defensive, like 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:42.800 how could you possibly think I was saying that? And 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:44.119 then I was like, why would you talk to me 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:44.640 in that tone? 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:45.720 And then we were crying. 0:17:45.960 --> 0:17:47.880 And then Andrew missed all the tears, but I think 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:50.960 deep down somewhere he probably had one single thug tear, 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:54.800 because I think every now and then not the glory 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:58.240 tier too. But I will also just say I think 0:17:58.560 --> 0:18:01.479 one of the things at that moment for me, you guys, 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:06.960 is it made me connect to what our listeners may 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:10.920 have felt when they talked about how we answer questions. 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:14.320 And so the question I have today really is, in 0:18:14.359 --> 0:18:18.680 this space that we created, our pod, our unique little bubble, 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:23.440 our safety bubble, what is our obligation to each other 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:26.560 and then to our broader audience to hold that safe space, 0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:30.600 to ensure that people don't feel over attacked, that they 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:33.600 don't feel like they're being put on the defensive, that 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:36.359 they don't feel like we're trivializing what they say, and 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:39.679 certainly that we're not doing that to each other. And 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:42.639 then what is our responsibility when somebody may have a 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:45.480 trigger that maybe we're not even aware of, Like, how 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.359 do you navigate that space? I think this is one 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:51.760 thing that will help us not only be a better podcast, 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.360 but better people to be in relationship with, whether it's 0:18:54.400 --> 0:18:58.119 your church, community, your family, your friends, whomever. Like, what 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:02.760 is our responsibility collect and as individuals to create safety? 0:19:03.800 --> 0:19:04.040 Sure? 0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:09.719 Well, I will give my assessment and answering that question. 0:19:09.920 --> 0:19:14.680 I think you know, Angela, you carry. 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:18.639 A lot, and we're all Type A personnet like extreme 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.919 Type A personalities, and it's very few people being a 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:25.679 Type A personality. It's very few people. I'm gonna trust 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:28.480 that you have it all together, But Angela is definitely 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:30.320 one of those people. If Angel's like I'm taking lead 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.400 on this, I trust that you have it all together. 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:35.560 So my takeaway might be a little different from both 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:40.040 you guys. My takeaway is just because there are people 0:19:40.119 --> 0:19:42.080 in your life and your circle who are always on 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:45.080 top of things, who always have it together, we have 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:49.840 to also caution ourselves that we're not doing the superwoman 0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:52.800 myths on these people, you know, because honestly, the way 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:55.879