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Speaker 1: Call It What It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,

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Speaker 1: an iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello, Welcome to another episode

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Speaker 1: of Call It What It Is with a very special guest.

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Speaker 1: My dear, I get to look at your eyes while

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Speaker 1: I say this in person, in real life, Arianna Devozo. Hi.

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Speaker 1: We got too excited, and we got too excited we

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Speaker 1: saw each other, and now I'm like, okay. Just when

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Speaker 1: I first saw you in the green room, I actually

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Speaker 1: thought to myself, Okay, just don't talk for a minute,

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Speaker 1: but you gotta save it. These are things that sometimes

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Speaker 1: when Camille and I will get on we'll be like no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: and I'll be like, save it. You are one of

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Speaker 1: my favorite people to talk to and we don't get

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Speaker 1: to see each other enough. So you coming on here

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Speaker 1: today is such a gift, just for all the reasons,

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Speaker 1: like spams, the friend category, the professional category, all the categories.

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Speaker 1: I've been thinking about you a lot the past couple

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Speaker 1: of days, in knowing that I was about to see you, okay,

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Speaker 1: and I was thinking, do you remember when we first met.

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Speaker 2: We were on No Pressurets at West Side Story right and.

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Speaker 1: We were shooting.

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Speaker 2: It was one of the days we were shooting America

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Speaker 2: in New Jersey, yep. And I can't remember. I think

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Speaker 2: I was injured. I had a busted ankle, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, in my mustard yellow garb, the most beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It was so gorgeous.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Paul Taswell Academy Award Winter Paul Taso.

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Speaker 1: We love to see it, those costumes.

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Speaker 2: And I was a little like dazed because I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I've got to I've got to run up hills and

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Speaker 2: I've got a twirl and the skirt is a bit

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Speaker 2: heavy and awesome, and you were just like hi, and

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Speaker 2: you talked to.

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Speaker 1: Me like we know each other for years, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, maybe we have I's like dig her spirit

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Speaker 1: and maybe I needed this verst of energy. Not a

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Speaker 1: clue what I said to you, though, Okay, So my

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Speaker 1: memory all of that tracks and makes complete sentence sentence.

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Speaker 1: It makes complete sense because you I had sort of

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Speaker 1: been with you longer than you've been with me, right,

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Speaker 1: because the casting process is so long, especially in a

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Speaker 1: case like this, yeah, long, and you being on my

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Speaker 1: side of it, which is just you know, in the

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Speaker 1: family of you were so familiar and the story of

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Speaker 1: who plays who and how and all that stuff is

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Speaker 1: sort of something that I'm definitely not a part of,

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Speaker 1: but that I am. I am in proximity too, So

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Speaker 1: you had I had a familiarity with you, and I

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Speaker 1: remember actually first meeting you on stages behind the camera

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Speaker 1: and being like in awe of even being really shy,

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Speaker 1: and you being super warm and giving me a really

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Speaker 1: big hug and like, oh my gosh. And I think

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Speaker 1: that you had maybe mentioned that you had either watched

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Speaker 1: or seen Grays and I was like, yeah, she knows

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Speaker 1: who I am. Yes, I knew you were. Are you kidding?

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Speaker 1: It was so clear being on that set that every

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Speaker 1: single person was giving their actual everything. Yeah, it was bananas.

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Speaker 1: That time was so it was very visceral.

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Speaker 2: But it's even sitting here now, it's like I remember

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Speaker 2: like what it felt like, but I don't remember all

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Speaker 2: of the details anymore, And oh my god, I hope

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Speaker 2: as I.

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Speaker 1: Mature that the details come back.

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Speaker 2: But it was such a visceral time and there was

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Speaker 2: so much energy and everyone was working so hard, but

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Speaker 2: no one worked harder than hefe.

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Speaker 1: Like Stephen was in there. It was the first one

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Speaker 1: in and the last one out. Yeah, every night, well

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Speaker 1: and he never really goes out because as you meet

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Speaker 1: with him, yeah, it's in the car and he's thinking

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Speaker 1: and he's looking at the window. Yeah, he's I have

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Speaker 1: to say, he's so self aware that man has done

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Speaker 1: his work at work and also at home. Because when

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Speaker 1: I was younger, my experience was that he would you would,

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Speaker 1: he would just be lost in thoughts. But you were.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't old enough to know that those thoughts were

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Speaker 1: about work. I just you know, it would mean to me, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, he was just he was somewhere else, right,

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Speaker 1: And now there's this self awareness where even just the

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Speaker 1: other day, we were gonna have dinner and he said

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Speaker 1: to me on the phone beforehand, he said, hey, I

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Speaker 1: just want to let you know. You know, I'm prepping

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Speaker 1: for this thing and I'm really thinking about it a lot.

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Speaker 1: So if I don't talk for a little bit, it's

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Speaker 1: really about that. It's not about anything else. And I was,

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Speaker 1: that's so it's so gross, it's so adults.

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Speaker 2: It's so always interesting your parents are real adults, real adults.

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Speaker 2: And like for creative brains, I mean we come across

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Speaker 2: creative people all the time, right, not all creatives very mature.

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Speaker 1: What what about what so and other interested.

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Speaker 2: Uh yeah, And I love that fact about him. To

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Speaker 2: be who he is, to have all the experience he has,

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Speaker 2: and to be such a deep, deep thinker and to

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Speaker 2: have that self awareness, it's rare.

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Speaker 1: It's rare. It's kitties, it's rare. Well. And also speaking

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Speaker 1: of that, I think that having just lived such a

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Speaker 1: long life with him as a creator and as a parent,

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Speaker 1: I've really watched him create these work families. And when

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Speaker 1: I was younger, I did a different relationship with it

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Speaker 1: because I kind of was a little jealous, you know,

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Speaker 1: not I want to take it away from you, weigh,

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Speaker 1: but in like a oh, you really like working with her?

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Speaker 1: That's nice. I get that she does that so well,

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Speaker 1: that's great. God, she was so good, was she. I

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Speaker 1: didn't actually think she was that good that seeing Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I thought you could have pulled something better out of her.

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Speaker 1: But it's fine, it's great. They're so nice.

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Speaker 2: I actually get that though My mom's a public scho

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Speaker 2: teacher and so and she raised me a single parent.

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Speaker 1: Gina shout out to Gina Jana.

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Speaker 2: But I get that because there were times in my

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Speaker 2: childhood where, you know, when you're an educator, you inevitably

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Speaker 2: if you're a parent.

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Speaker 1: Also, you don't just have one kid, You got all

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Speaker 1: the kids are teaching.

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Speaker 2: You spent so much much time not only educating but

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Speaker 2: raising in a way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, other people's children. Yeah. And I did at times

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Speaker 1: feel like I was sharing her. And there were times.

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Speaker 2: My childhood that I had to check myself because I

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Speaker 2: was like, Oh, you really like that student.

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Speaker 1: That student's so smart. I'm smart. So I remember you

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Speaker 1: having this work family. I remember going to visit. I

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Speaker 1: remember being wowed that you knew who I was. I

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Speaker 1: then remember watching you on the cue. They have the

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Speaker 1: monitors and you watch the performances by the chairs, and

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Speaker 1: I was sitting that was there with Tony Kushner and

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Speaker 1: the dialect coach.

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Speaker 2: Victor Cruze and Tom Jones were our dialect coaches.

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Speaker 1: I believe Tom was there that day and script and

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Speaker 1: it was just watching the magic and yan Oush and

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Speaker 1: the lighting and this you're watching. You're watching magic happen

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Speaker 1: and it's been happening, and I I couldn't be more

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Speaker 1: grateful to have been able to watch this, you know,

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Speaker 1: for the great majority of my life. So that's when

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Speaker 1: I remember first meeting you. But then I remember I

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Speaker 1: had to go back to Los Angeles because it was

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Speaker 1: shot in New York and New Jersey. I went back

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Speaker 1: to Los Angeles for work and I had to take

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Speaker 1: a red Eye, which I strongly just like. And I

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Speaker 1: came and I landed, and I came straight to New Jersey.

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Speaker 1: I remember you coming down this street and it was

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Speaker 1: like magic, like the dancing, the intensity you're you have

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Speaker 1: a great game face. Your face was I mean, every

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Speaker 1: single fiber of you was in this and the I

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Speaker 1: mean again I don't know the correct terms, but like

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Speaker 1: just all the like choreography, yes, the choreography, and you

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Speaker 1: came around and you were looking at the you know,

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Speaker 1: actors come around to look at the playback to make

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Speaker 1: sure that they're doing and you were this incredible balance

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Speaker 1: and I want to hear you talk about it. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I love that.

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Speaker 2: That's your experience of watching meat process and how I'm

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Speaker 2: doing whatever whatever it.

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Speaker 1: Is that I'm doing. At the time.

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Speaker 2: It was very funny because I I didn't really like

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Speaker 2: to watch a lot of playback, and Hefe and I

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Speaker 2: had spoken and I was like, I'm going to trust

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Speaker 2: you on the scenes. I'm not going to watch my

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Speaker 2: playback on scenes because I will get to I was

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Speaker 2: very self conscious about my acting, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: if you think you got it, then I'm gonna trust you,

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Speaker 2: and you got it.

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Speaker 1: Because you would be worried that you would I.

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Speaker 2: Would not be in balance, yep. Whereas with dance, I'm

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Speaker 2: such a technician that But I also like, for me,

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Speaker 2: dances is spiritual.

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Speaker 1: It's like communion.

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Speaker 2: So I know what I'm looking for, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: this is a moment where this character needs to let go,

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Speaker 2: and this is a moment where I do need to

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Speaker 2: execute this technique. So I was able to find balance,

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Speaker 2: and so that's what I was really looking for. Is

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Speaker 2: like Justin Peck, our choreographer on that film, who, by

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Speaker 2: the way, I don't think he gets his flowers enough.

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Speaker 2: Oh he did such a beautiful job in executing both

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Speaker 2: the Sharks and the Jets, creating two different worlds.

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Speaker 1: Because that's really what I think.

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Speaker 2: Is movie musical magic is the definition of worlds.

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Speaker 1: And I think the best musicals you really get to

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Speaker 1: see that.

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Speaker 2: I haven't seen it in every movie musical since West

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Speaker 2: Side Story, but I have seen it in a few times.

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Speaker 2: But Justin really did that well and So what I

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Speaker 2: was looking for that day because that section there are

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Speaker 2: moments that are odes to the original nineteen sixty one

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Speaker 2: film and odes to the Broadway stage production and the

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Speaker 2: original choreo.

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Speaker 1: That I was like, this does have to be right.

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Speaker 2: They would have done it this way, not this way,

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Speaker 2: and I was trying to tweak that whilst also finding

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Speaker 2: those moments of like real clarity within losing oneself. So

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Speaker 2: it's it's alchemy, is really what I think I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't know what I'm doing. Well, you

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Speaker 1: did it. You did it in one hundred and five

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Speaker 1: degree weather and a very y'ah knews's lights. He said,

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Speaker 1: it's already hot. Let's put another football stadium light on you.

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Speaker 1: It just looks so beautiful. Everything was painful, question Mark,

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Speaker 1: I don't know it was painful. I mean I burned

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Speaker 1: wholesome shoes. That was what I was going to get.

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Speaker 1: So I remember that how many different pairs of she

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Speaker 1: so I think she's talking about burning holes in the

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Speaker 1: soles of her shoes because of how hot the pavement

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Speaker 1: was and how hard you were dancing. Yes, I mean

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Speaker 1: you were a lot of twirling, so much twirling.

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Speaker 2: So the reality of situation is we're dancing on cement.

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Speaker 2: It's not like there's a.

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Speaker 1: Floor are laid out on the street for you. You're

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Speaker 1: dancing on the cement. And I just whittled down the

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Speaker 1: body of my shoes. Classy. It was worth it. It

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Speaker 1: was so it was so worth it. It was worth

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Speaker 1: it all again. Yeah, there's nothing I would have changed

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Speaker 1: about any of that. I really wouldn't have well, maybe

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Speaker 1: a few things, but it's okay, progress, not perfect, progress,

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Speaker 1: not perfection.

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Speaker 2: But I loved it, and it's something I deal with

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Speaker 2: kind of on the daily because that film and that

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Speaker 2: process of getting to dance and getting to sing and

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Speaker 2: act and do all of these things.

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Speaker 1: And I'm really I think.

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Speaker 2: I'm really good at in one film with great material.

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Speaker 2: Thank you Tony Kushner for that beautiful adaptation. That was

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Speaker 2: the very thing I did, I know, and it was

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Speaker 2: for all intentsive purposes perfection.

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Speaker 1: Of an experience, truly like collaborative. Ah woar.

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Speaker 2: Years from having given it to the world, we made

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Speaker 2: it pre panned.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so that was a minute ago. I was

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Speaker 1: cast in twenty eighteen. Yep. Wow, it's so insane.

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Speaker 2: Banana pancakes and the movie got made in twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I could be wrong, but the timeline, the timeline,

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Speaker 1: the timeline was funky because we had time as relative.

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Speaker 1: Time is relative. Time is relative.

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Speaker 2: But then it was a long time so to have

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Speaker 2: done that first, and now there are reasons why I'm like.

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Speaker 1: I'll try anything. You cannot duplicate that alience. And I've

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Speaker 1: come to the conclusion that, like, you gotta stop trying.

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Speaker 2: You just got to show up everywhere you go and

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Speaker 2: accept the experience and try and like do your part

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Speaker 2: in it.

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Speaker 1: In a weird way, I think that the environment that

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Speaker 1: we're working in right now as actors, I'm only I'm

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Speaker 1: only an actor. I'm not a triple threat like you.

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Speaker 1: In my own mind, I like to think, here's the thing.

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Speaker 1: I like to think I could sing. I actually know

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Speaker 1: I can't dance. I'm sure sure, yes I will. I

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Speaker 1: will make the story short. But there was a time

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Speaker 1: in young Jessica Kaepshaw's life and she too was willing

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Speaker 1: to try anything, and she auditioned for I'm talking about

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Speaker 1: myself in the third person. Else I'm gonna go with it.

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Speaker 1: She auditioned for Thoroughly Modern Milli the Revival, and she

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Speaker 1: made it to final callbacks and got flown to New

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Speaker 1: York City to complete the trible threat process. And yes,

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Speaker 1: she fell apart during the dancing. She knows. It's been proven.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of tap. It was so tap tap

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Speaker 1: harm horrendous. It was. I was terrible. I wish there

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Speaker 1: was I'm not joking. I actually genuinely wish there was

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Speaker 1: camera on it. Maybe there is, I could find it.

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Speaker 1: It would nothing would give me greater pleasure. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: that a genine story show. She might would have the

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Speaker 1: tape on that. Yeah, and you know what I feel

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Speaker 1: like maybe at some point during the filming of she

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Speaker 1: said something about like didn't.

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Speaker 2: You about it the time?

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Speaker 1: But again, in my mind, it's okay, great. In my mind,

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Speaker 1: I'm a pop star. Oh yeah, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Like, in my mind, I am just doing my things,

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Speaker 2: probably along the lines of like Gaga style, just because

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Speaker 2: she could not put that woman at a box. She's

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Speaker 2: everything and all things. But that's what I am in

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Speaker 2: my mind. But I'm actually I'm just trying to triple

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Speaker 2: thread it and like hold a line.

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Speaker 1: But before you went on to do all that, you

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Speaker 1: had to do that little thing which is called winning

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Speaker 1: an Oscar. Yeah, And I'm just curious because we don't

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Speaker 1: need to belaebor the point you want it. We know it.

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Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, she wanted one. I'm curious, what if you

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Speaker 1: were going on opposite ends the spectrum, the thing that

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Speaker 1: you now remember really enjoying the most about that journey,

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Speaker 1: if you will, And I guess I mean from like

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Speaker 1: the minute you get the phone call saying you're nominated

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Speaker 1: for an Academy Award to you're standing on stage accepting

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Speaker 1: a fucking Academy award, which is again, I mean, you

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Speaker 1: just talked about a perfect experience and then sort of

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Speaker 1: I mean a perfect ending. Yeah, you know, to wrap

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Speaker 1: that nicely up. So I'm curious what the thing was

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Speaker 1: that you enjoyed the most about that and then the

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Speaker 1: thing that you were like, oh man, okay, that happened.

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Speaker 1: And I'm really happy that that's a mammor ofview mirror. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I know, just pick one.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm still just so grateful that it happened.

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Speaker 2: I think I knew for me the win was getting

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Speaker 2: to make the movie itself, because at the time I

294
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Speaker 2: was sure they were going to stun cast that thing.

295
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Speaker 2: I was like, I don't have a chance in hell.

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Speaker 2: Why would I go in for that, like just to

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Speaker 2: be like thank you so much. On my god, you're talented,

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Speaker 2: but you're not getting this job. So just the fact

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Speaker 2: that I got to make the movie was the thing.

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Speaker 2: I was surprised by every single nomination. Every time I

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Speaker 2: think people ask like, were you faking, like you know

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Speaker 2: you're winning. Think Katrina Bouf at one point during the

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Speaker 2: Awards season was like, you know you're winning, And I

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Speaker 2: was like, I don't, like I think I won a BAFTA. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's like they said my name and I was like.

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Speaker 1: Holy shit, I don't go here. I don't go here

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Speaker 1: my home school. No, it's not like I was.

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Speaker 2: I was just honored to be included because I was like,

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Speaker 2: like British film.

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Speaker 1: Yetish theater, Like, yeah, it is a whole thing. I

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Speaker 1: love it. I revere it. I'm still watching BBC. I

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Speaker 1: love those shows. The writing is better girl.

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Speaker 2: Sorry those writers, man, they get it right over there.

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Speaker 1: But like, I just was.

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Speaker 2: Surprised by it all, and so I was able to

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Speaker 2: truly enjoy every moment. There were little sprinkles of drama

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Speaker 2: here and there, because honestly, actors the nature of the beasts,

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Speaker 2: I know, but like the joy outweighed any of that.

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Speaker 2: I the rear view mirror portion of your question. I

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Speaker 2: didn't realize. I can't think of a better way to

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Speaker 2: say this. I didn't realize what a race it actually was, though,

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Speaker 2: Like once you give the movie, like you you'll do

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Speaker 2: a press tour for the release of the film, and

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Speaker 2: da da da da, and that's like great because you're

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Speaker 2: all celebrating, and then the awards stuff starts happening.

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Speaker 1: And I didn't realize what a race it was, Like,

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Speaker 1: what a campaign it was.

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Speaker 2: I can't realize the stamina. And I didn't realize how

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Speaker 2: many people I was going to have to talk to

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Speaker 2: and meet, Like, I didn't realize how tired I was

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Speaker 2: gonna be. I got sick, I developed fifty two food allergies. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was stressed out all the time. But I was

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Speaker 2: thrilled that I was even getting the opportunity to do.

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Speaker 1: With this thing. Yeah. And that is funny because that

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Speaker 1: is the weight in the counterweight, because so often people

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Speaker 1: who are listening or watching people talk about the experience

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Speaker 1: of this exact thing. Yeah, Like people are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: she's so tired, Oh he's so tired, Like, how tired

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Speaker 1: must it be? Because they see the glamorized parts, they

340
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Speaker 1: see the fashion, or they see they see the result,

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Speaker 1: they see all that and or they watched I mean

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Speaker 1: again show. I mean, being on a show that works

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Speaker 1: ten months out of the year is very different than

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Speaker 1: being on a movie for three months. So you know,

345
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Speaker 1: in our world, it was like if you were sick, okay,

346
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Speaker 1: so you're still showing up, take your pills. At this point,

347
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Speaker 1: I put a mask because it was before they would

348
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Speaker 1: even have you put on They would never have you

349
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Speaker 1: put on a mask. You would show up and you

350
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Speaker 1: would just yeah, for sure, don't touch anyone. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm like, I don't. I don't think

352
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Speaker 1: I'm like letting out some dirty dark secret. But there

353
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Speaker 1: was always like the doctor. They'd call the doctor. There

354
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,959
Speaker 1: was definitely some sort of like B B three shots,

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Speaker 1: something like that, twelve like complex because if they need

356
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Speaker 1: to just prop you up sometimes they will, oh, okay.

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Speaker 2: One of my most infamous at this point, but one

358
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Speaker 2: of my most infamous performances I've given in my career

359
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 2: was not the year I wanted aft up, but the

360
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Speaker 2: year after that with the whole did the thing debacle.

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Speaker 2: I think it was still fun whatever. Yeah, but I

362
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 2: was very sick. Yeah, and I'm trained for the show

363
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Speaker 2: to go on. And I did have a doctor come

364
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Speaker 2: and prop me up yep, so that I could fulfill

365
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Speaker 2: the commitment. I said that I would do yeah them,

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Speaker 2: and I did want to, but I was like, wow, hi, pneumonia.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, the show must go on. But the show

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Speaker 1: went on and I did my thing and I went home. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you.

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Speaker 2: Know, I got to eight a lie for it and again

371
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Speaker 2: lesson learn Hindsight's twenty twenty.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, pneumonia, stay home. I know, I know, I know.

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Speaker 1: We need to learn. We need to learn, but that's okay,

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Speaker 1: we need to grow. It's also we do.

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Speaker 2: We do need to grow, and I make different decisions

376
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,920
Speaker 2: as a result of that experience now. But I do

377
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 2: think you get to moments like that because a part

378
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Speaker 2: of the I hate to do it, but the system.

379
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Speaker 1: That was created that we were all.

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Speaker 2: Sort of like indoctrined by. Yeah, there are things that

381
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Speaker 2: you do. You push forward, you say yes, you keep

382
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Speaker 2: going yeah, no matter what I know, And that's not

383
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Speaker 2: always healthy. And I think it is a myth that

384
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Speaker 2: you can do it all yes, can I do it all?

385
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I can't do it all at one time? Yeah. Yeah.

386
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Speaker 2: And the idea that that's achievable, I think is unhealthy.

387
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:06,199
Speaker 1: Yeah.

388
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 2: So for me, I do like what you say, maybe

389
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 2: it's not balanced, it's compromise, right, Like, I will compromise

390
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 2: this thing for the moment so that I can do

391
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Speaker 2: this and do it really well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I it's sort of again, I mean, it's

393
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Speaker 1: so mindset base, but it's also this it feels like

394
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Speaker 1: the same or similar relationship that I had when I

395
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 1: started realizing what the difference was between reactivity and responsivity. Yeah, Like,

396
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 1: how am I in this situation? Is my reaction what

397
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: this situation needs? Or is actually the best thing for

398
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 1: me to hmm, sit with it for a second, take

399
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 1: a couple breaths, maybe sit in a little discomfort even right,

400
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: discomfort is great. It has been my greatest teacher of

401
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 1: the last year. Talk about that I've had.

402
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 2: Hey, I mean, twenty twenty five has been a but

403
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four was a real yeah too, Like I

404
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,439
Speaker 2: had several like situations where I just was like, I,

405
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:17,439
Speaker 2: my response is not necessary, it's not I cannot control.

406
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:22,360
Speaker 1: Cannot control. Oh, it's a word. It's it is. It

407
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: is well in a world that surges for perfection. Yeah,

408
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 1: control is like m it seems like the highway to it,

409
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 1: but it's not. It's so not. In fact, it's the antithesis.

410
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,439
Speaker 1: It's flow the roadblock. Lets the roadblock, like, let go

411
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:37,160
Speaker 1: with that stit.

412
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 2: But I I had several situations and it just felt

413
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 2: like I was like, ooh, this is one thing after another.

414
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 2: But the answer to all of it was to let

415
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 2: myself be uncomfortable, to hear it, learn what is mine,

416
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 2: to take on what is not mine, water off a

417
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Speaker 2: ducts back.

418
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, I have to breathe through it.

419
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 2: You just have to, because not everything needs a response

420
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 2: from you. I want to defend myself so often, and

421
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 2: I would love to tell people how wrong they are,

422
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 2: But guess what, it's not really gonna help the situation

423
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 2: because people are gonna say and do and think what

424
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Speaker 2: they want to think without being informed.

425
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 1: Yep. And that's their ignorance, not mine. Yep. I can

426
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,400
Speaker 1: only do what I can do.

427
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 2: So last year was a practice for me of sitting

428
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:42,320
Speaker 2: in my discomfort and actually thinking consciously about what I

429
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 2: want to choose.

430
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Speaker 1: So when you talk about not knowing what you're doing. Now,

431
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: will you do you? Do you believe that you need to? Like,

432
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Speaker 1: do you think that you'll think about it and then

433
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: you'll manifest it and it will come? Or you vision

434
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: boardy or do you that's a good question.

435
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 2: I'm I do vision board a journal a lot, but

436
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 2: I stopped getting I used to be like.

437
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I would love to work with so

438
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:22,959
Speaker 1: and so one day and I got their picture. I'm

439
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: a little bit board. Or I'd love to make a.

440
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 2: Movie, lie and h, I'd love to do this vias

441
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 2: the call.

442
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: I don't do that anymore.

443
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: I I use photos to represent the feeling of an

444
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:44,959
Speaker 2: experience that I would like to have, because I realized,

445
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 2: in trying to manifest so specifically, I was leaning into

446
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:57,439
Speaker 2: an assumption I had made about what that experience would be,

447
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: or an assumption i'd made about a person I really

448
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 2: want to work with.

449
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 1: Because when you're.

450
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 2: Or in my youth, like a lot of people do,

451
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 2: we look at starry people and because of the access

452
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 2: that the media has.

453
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,160
Speaker 1: To them, we assume that that is so clearly who

454
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: they are. We know them, they're our bestie. Yeah they're not.

455
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: And I love all of the folks that I've had

456
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 2: the privilege to work with. But I would be lying

457
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 2: if I didn't say that I've met some folks that

458
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 2: I really thought were one thing or this was the

459
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 2: narrative that they put out in.

460
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 1: The world, and it became a different thing.

461
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: And when you make assumptions about people, you rob them

462
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 2: of their humanity because the reality is they have the

463
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,679
Speaker 2: right to be whoever they are. Yeah, And so I

464
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,199
Speaker 2: was like, that was a big thing for me, So

465
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 2: I stopped manifesting so specifically, but like, I want to

466
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 2: I want to work with this these types or these

467
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 2: people and more like I would like an experience that

468
00:25:58,840 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 2: is a.

469
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: Fantasy type of peace, and.

470
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,640
Speaker 2: The people that come together to make it happen are

471
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 2: truly collaborative and.

472
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 1: Like really want to play in like the most weird

473
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: creative ways, Like.

474
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 2: I manifest from that space now, Yeah, because then I

475
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 2: can be surprised by who the universe sends me. And

476
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:22,639
Speaker 2: I trust and trust, so I'm in a real trust relationship.

477
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: I love it trust with the universe right now. I

478
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 1: used to think that manifesting was like telling the universe

479
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 1: what I wanted and then then it to give us me.

480
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: That's not how it works. It's not how it works.

481
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: I I appreciate you describing your experience because it sounds wise. Yeah,

482
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 1: I that has really worked for me.

483
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,640
Speaker 2: I've also gone on a spiritual journey over the last

484
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:47,919
Speaker 2: couple of years, spending time with the universe, whatever that

485
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 2: is to you. That could be going on a walk,

486
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 2: noticing the trees, listening to the sounds of wherever you are, Like,

487
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 2: that's that's spiritual to me.

488
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. And how you commune with it, like how you

489
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: how are you get from it? What do you get

490
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: from it? What energy are you putting out? And how

491
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: quickly it can change your day? Like, so we're in

492
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 1: New York City, right, We're in New York City at

493
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 1: the end of March, which on any given years, really

494
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,960
Speaker 1: you never know what you're gonna fucking get, really, don't.

495
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 1: I saw daffodils the other day and they changed your

496
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: whole day. I heard you say like, this is what

497
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 1: I'm good at, and this is what I want and

498
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 1: I and I know this about myself, and that to

499
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: me is so easy and confident. And I've seen you perform,

500
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,360
Speaker 1: I know you as a person. So that's like, yes, check,

501
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: I'm so glad she sees her like I see her.

502
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: When do you find yourself on the other side of that?

503
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: When do you? When do you? What are the creepy sneaky?

504
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 1: You know? Because a lot of our listeners, you know,

505
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 1: will either call in with questions, and there are different

506
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: parts of their life, right, like they're in high school

507
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: or they're you know, in their twenties, thirties, all the decades, right,

508
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 1: and there's so many questions about like ugh, I I

509
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: I tell myself this story and I doubt myself, or

510
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: I think I've got I think I've already seen everything,

511
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: like the end game has already arrived. I'm gonna be

512
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 1: in this job forever, I'm going to be in this

513
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,360
Speaker 1: toxic friendship forever. I'm in the wrong friend group, I'm

514
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 1: I want to be in this one like all these things.

515
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: And when you find yourself in those moments, is there

516
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 1: something that is unique to you that kind of helps

517
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 1: you get out of it or reframe it? I mean

518
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: I love that question first of all. Yeah, I love

519
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: a reframe yep. From this space of.

520
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: I think every person, place, thing, experience that I have

521
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 2: in my life is literally a lesson every single person,

522
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 2: and it could be big or small. So I try

523
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 2: to reframe things when I have these moments of self

524
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 2: doubt or this feels like I've grown out of it. Okay, well,

525
00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 2: if that is the question, If the question is I've

526
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 2: grown have I grown out of this space? Answer the

527
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 2: question for yourself. But also have you asked the questions?

528
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 2: For example, in a friend group. I love that as

529
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,000
Speaker 2: a as an example in a friend group, if you

530
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 2: think you've grown out of it, have you used your words?

531
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 2: Have you actually made the effort to be in conversation

532
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 2: with these people that have been lifelong friends. Or if

533
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,120
Speaker 2: something has gone down and it's not great, is the

534
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 2: offense so vile that you don't want to have the

535
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 2: conversation And it doesn't matter what the answer is, but

536
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 2: just know that that's the answer.

537
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 1: If your answer is no, you got to own that. No. Yeah,

538
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: So if anyone ever asks you got an answer like no,

539
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: I walked away. So because we live in this time

540
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: now with the phones, we can just spit off the

541
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:58,720
Speaker 1: like first of all, cop out. No, I know, cop out.

542
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: So you're saying, go, go ask the questions, say the things, Go.

543
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 2: Say the things when you're living through wild times like this, Yes, yes,

544
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 2: I think the way that you survive them, the way

545
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 2: that you enrich yourself, your humanity, your your human experience,

546
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 2: is by asking those questions of yourself and other people.

547
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 1: And you got to be brave. And you do have

548
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: to be brave.

549
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 2: There's some conversations I'm putting off because I'm too chicken

550
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:24,239
Speaker 2: shit to have them.

551
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 1: I know, oh, I know that I got a girl pair.

552
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 1: Put my girl pants pretty soon and have them. Because

553
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: what do you do to do that? Like, how do

554
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 1: you do you self talk? Do you give yourself a deadline?

555
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 2: I do like a deadline because hey, accountability love.

556
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: I do like a deadline.

557
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 2: But I also, again, being an energy person, I have

558
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 2: to feel my way into it.

559
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

560
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: And nine times out of ten, if I set that

561
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 2: deadline and I'm committed to getting there, the moment will

562
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: show up before the deadline.

563
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's because I'm.

564
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: Like, no, I know that I need to have this conversation.

565
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 2: I want to have this conversation. But again, if you

566
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 2: ask yourself those questions, need want the why will it

567
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 2: change anything?

568
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm mmm hmm. Those are great because there are

569
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 1: a lot of people whose ears are closed. They don't

570
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 1: want to be opened. Yeah, or better, worse or whatever.

571
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 1: But I just feel like, okay, stop with the going.

572
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 1: If you're doing that and you're following that and you're

573
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: not getting what you need or want from it, that's

574
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: an awsome. I was gonna say, that's the and having

575
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 1: the courage to hear it, not just I was.

576
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 2: I was at a dinner with a director that I love,

577
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 2: and we were chatting and we were talking about two

578
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 2: very different experiences but similar in the ways that when

579
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 2: you're working in groups, sometimes like the group that found

580
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 2: you and gave you your start may not always be

581
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 2: the group that's like.

582
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: Gonna see you and elevate.

583
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 2: Sometimes you got to take a big leap and run

584
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 2: away and go do it yourself.

585
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not unkind to grow, it's not You're not

586
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 1: doing anything to that group by leaving. And how you

587
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: do it is the most important thing. Yes, yes see

588
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,040
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my god, you just modeled literally

589
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 1: what I do.

590
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 2: Like I sit there and I'm like, cool, birds of you,

591
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 2: how are we going to do this? And I like

592
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 2: to say, like, it's how you Nine times out of

593
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 2: ten it's not necessarily what you're saying, but it's how

594
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 2: you're saying is and in a professional capacity and personally,

595
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm blunt.

596
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 1: I will say, are you, but I will say it kindly.

597
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 2: Yes, you do the first time, the second time, the

598
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:46,960
Speaker 2: third time.

599
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: You're pushing you luck. I know I respect that about you.

600
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: I'm not great at that yet. I'm gonna work in

601
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: progress in that way, you know. And it's funny because

602
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: other people. I say this to my kids all the time.

603
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 1: They say things, and especially the teenagers. It's not what

604
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 1: they're saying the content. The content of what you're saying.

605
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 1: The content is totally passable. Yay, good for you. That's

606
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 1: a great question to ask, it's how you asked it.

607
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: And oftentimes and it's made me think, hmm, is there

608
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 1: a connection between adolescents and adulthood in this way? They

609
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 1: don't hear themselves right? And I feel like I've spent

610
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 1: quite a bit of time with adults that I am

611
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 1: now understanding as people who do not hear themselves, ding

612
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: ding ding. And I need to figure out when I

613
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: can say, oh, they just don't hear themselves, and when

614
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: I need to say you use me hear yourself, You're not,

615
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,960
Speaker 1: or rather I'm I'm this is what I'm hearing from you.

616
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: Does that match up with what you're trying to say? Yeah,

617
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 1: because if it doesn't, then we can have a conversation.

618
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: And if it does, fuck off. You're not for me

619
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 1: the road Like I'm done. I can't. Yeah. And and

620
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: I wish you well. I do. And that's the thing.

621
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 1: I love a lot of people from Afar, I really do.

622
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,279
Speaker 2: I love a lot of people from Afar because I'm

623
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: just like, I respect it.

624
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,760
Speaker 1: I see it. Yeah, I cannot vibe with that energy. Yeah,

625
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 1: it's draining to me. Yeah. And what if you do

626
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 1: if you work I mean, you know, I mean, what

627
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 1: do you do when you're working with that? Oh? Boundaries

628
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,359
Speaker 1: a love boundary? Oh but are you one of those

629
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 1: people who can like I'm asking for a friend cold. No,

630
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 1: I know you're not cold, because I know you, But

631
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like, are you able? Is it? Like? Is

632
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 1: the boundary kind of like? Because again, we work, we

633
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 1: work in an environment where we're doing the scenes and

634
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 1: then they call cut and then we go to our

635
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,439
Speaker 1: cast chairs or our trailers or whatever. But there's still

636
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: community outside of the scene, right, Yeah, And so when

637
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,360
Speaker 1: you're working with someone, well, it's just like I'm going

638
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: to manufacture the example, so it's not in personal right,

639
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,480
Speaker 1: but like someone who's like they can't stop talking and

640
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 1: it's just such a dream, Like everything's wrong. The costume

641
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 1: is not right, and the makeup didn't have this, and

642
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 1: the coffee is terrible, and like everything's wrong. And I

643
00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 1: struggle with the fact that I probably am a little

644
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 1: bit I'm a little the other direction. I'm like, everything's great. Yeah,

645
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: you're holding a bagish, it's not that great, right, Okay,

646
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, But it's not dripping on me.

647
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,959
Speaker 2: Like the container is fine, the bag is not at all.

648
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, but like when they're doing that, So when

649
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 1: you're working and they call it, do you do? You

650
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 1: is the boundary, the personal boundary, and then once you

651
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 1: start working, you're able, like you're like we're in a

652
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:57,359
Speaker 1: different world and so who we are doesn't matter. I've

653
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 1: done a couple I've done it a couple of different ways.

654
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 2: I've still very much in process and feel like every

655
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: time I've made a film, like my choices.

656
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:04,240
Speaker 1: Are a little different.

657
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not exceptionally methods. Sometimes my characters like creep

658
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 2: in a little bit.

659
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:15,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but I'm the type of person that.

660
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 2: If you've caught me on a good day, I'd be like, ugh, babes,

661
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 2: I had a joy, and then I will go to

662
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:27,919
Speaker 2: crafty and get a snack because yeah, there's my joy.

663
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, that to me helps put up a

664
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,319
Speaker 1: boundary joy babes. Yeah, I find a joy. Yeah.

665
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 2: Fine, you catch me on a day where I might

666
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 2: have had it a little bit, and it's gonna be.

667
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:43,879
Speaker 1: Like, do you hear yourself? Yeah?

668
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I mean you're excellent, but do you hear yourself?

669
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: Yeah? Cool? And then action, yeah, yeah I have.

670
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes the choice, depending on who you're dealing with,

671
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes the choice is to just let I.

672
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 1: Know, you know, and that's hard. I know. I'm a helper.

673
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 1: I do like me too.

674
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 2: I can't fix anybody's like problems, but I like to

675
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 2: support and help if I can well.

676
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 1: And obviously the let them is is so interesting because it's,

677
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 1: you know, it hails from just ancient religions and a

678
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 1: little bit of stoicism, a little bit this little bit that.

679
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 1: But mel Robbins has made it very popular with her book,

680
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 1: which is a beautiful book, and we had her on

681
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 1: the show and it was very funny because Camilla, we're

682
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 1: very in and yang and I wish she was here,

683
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:36,279
Speaker 1: and she was like, I'm missing Ariana. But she she

684
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 1: was a little bit like and you hear it in

685
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:42,760
Speaker 1: the podcast. She's like, I'm like, yes, all on board,

686
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 1: Like let them, let them go do their thing. And

687
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: they could just be talking all sorts of stuff about

688
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 1: me somewhere else and I'm just going my fine with that.

689
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,280
Speaker 1: And she's a little bit like, hold hold on a second.

690
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: Why do I have to let them? Why do I

691
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: have to let them? And she she talked to mel

692
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:00,840
Speaker 1: and she was like, hmm, no, I don't know about this,

693
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 1: like what about this? And what about that? And it

694
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 1: was great because I realized that and it's my way.

695
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: It's okay. I will take the information in and go

696
00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 1: be the helper and the doer and the fixer and

697
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 1: the whatever. And we need those, right, we need those

698
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 1: in our communities. We also need the people that are like,

699
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 1: oh wait a second, wait a second, prove it, prove it.

700
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: Why why do you think so? Because then we actually

701
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 1: really deeply believe in it. It's been it's been shown

702
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 1: to us, it's been proven, it's been questioned. I mean

703
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: that's the most amazing thing about debate. I love that.

704
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:40,800
Speaker 1: I love that when it's in a respectful way, right.

705
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,360
Speaker 2: I love that story that maryl tells about Jane Fonda

706
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: when they were doing Julia, and Meryl was like, well,

707
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,719
Speaker 2: apparently it was like one of her first films or something.

708
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 2: She's so excited to be there, and she's like, goes

709
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: for rehearsal and she like dad, and they're putting things

710
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 2: on the floor and da da dah.

711
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: So they do the first first take and it's fabulous.

712
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,440
Speaker 2: She's like, Gray, I'm gonna try something new, and she

713
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 2: does something completely different.

714
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 1: And then Jane says, Eryl, if you stand on the marks,

715
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 1: you will be in the light and then you will

716
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 1: be in the movie. It's like, well, I.

717
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:28,280
Speaker 2: Think she told that story at Jane's like afi lifetime

718
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 2: achievement ceremony, and it's I've never forgotten it. And in fact,

719
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 2: I watched that when I was like on the road

720
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 2: doing Bringing On the Musical years ago, because that's how

721
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 2: I was like learning, and I never forgot that. I

722
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 2: was like, if I ever make a movie, I know

723
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,440
Speaker 2: that the tape on the floor is my mark, and

724
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 2: I need to stand on it.

725
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,399
Speaker 1: Because then I will be in the light, I will

726
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: be in the movie. Yeah, that's exactly right. That was

727
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: a hard lesson for me to learn, girl, because I

728
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,279
Speaker 1: liked when I first came into it, When I first

729
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: came into this business as an as an actual I mean,

730
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 1: I'd always been on the sidelines watching it and just

731
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 1: like with the literal stars in my eyes, watching all

732
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:04,120
Speaker 1: these incredible people do all these incredible things. It was

733
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: a little bit, I mean a bit, like you said,

734
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:10,239
Speaker 1: starting off with something that was just so I mean,

735
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: it's so hard to come up with the word right.

736
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 1: It's like it's not perfect, it's not high end, it's

737
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 1: so ideal, like it's an ideal everything. You're working with

738
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: people who are the best of the best and all that.

739
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 1: So you got to be in it as your first

740
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: like like that you said, first experienced thing. I got

741
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: to watch from the sidelines, and so in a lot

742
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 1: of ways, I thought that's how everybody was, right. I

743
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 1: thought everybody brought their best game, their a game, and

744
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: I thought everybody was like Tom Hanks who famously says,

745
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: right like, he shows up on time, and by on time,

746
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,840
Speaker 1: he means a little bit early, a little bit earlier,

747
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,839
Speaker 1: and he knows his text, which means he knows his lines. Yeah,

748
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 1: you ever worked with people who don't know their lines? Yes,

749
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: it's very hard. It is. Can't be. Can't find it

750
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 1: uniquely challenging, It really can't be.

751
00:40:56,680 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 2: I I have learned, though, and I don't know if

752
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 2: this is like a toxic trait.

753
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:08,000
Speaker 1: I will improv to help them find their line. I

754
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: think that's being a helper. I know. I guess what

755
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 1: you do after is probably what's either helpful or not helpful. Really, No, oh, look,

756
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: I have the privilege of working with the like I

757
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 1: don't know.

758
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 2: I just I will when I show up, and I

759
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 2: can only speak for myself and what I do. But

760
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 2: like when I show up, like, I'm like, nope, I'm

761
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 2: going to do whatever I need to do to get

762
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 2: the best performance out of me and probably you too.

763
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because that's just what it is.

764
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,359
Speaker 2: No I even know, like what you're walking into. I

765
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 2: don't enjoy it when other people don't know their lines.

766
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 2: I try not to be the person that doesn't know

767
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 2: their line.

768
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, but every once in a while this happens.

769
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 2: You have a bad day and you're just like, what,

770
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 2: what's the line?

771
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, it doesn't connect. Yeah, And I'm not

772
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: trying to blame the writer, but sometimes when it doesn't connect,

773
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: I actually if it doesn't over and over and over again,

774
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 1: I do actually always go I always think of me first,

775
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 1: and then I just go, is there, like, am I

776
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: bumping on this for a reason? Does it not connect

777
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 1: to the thing? Why would they say that? Do I

778
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,720
Speaker 1: not think to say this? Yeah?

779
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,880
Speaker 2: Well, and I've I've learned over a couple of years.

780
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 2: It's like, oh, this is why I want to get

781
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 2: to know the writers i'm working with really well, because

782
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 2: I want to understand why they did we did. And

783
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 2: I want to also have that like open communication of

784
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,240
Speaker 2: being able to ask questions because if I don't feel

785
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 2: safe on a set to be like home human, homeboy, homegirl,

786
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 2: home whatever, person, can we chat?

787
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

788
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 2: Because I am busting this up for you, yes, and

789
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,440
Speaker 2: not the positive way, and I really want to get

790
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 2: it right.

791
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I've said that very thing many times.

792
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm busting it up for you not a great way.

793
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 1: Well, I mean again, just having been on a show

794
00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: for so long where you have so many lines and

795
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: so you're doing so many pages a day, I mean

796
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,240
Speaker 1: on a movie you're doing. I mean, yeah for people

797
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 1: listening that don't know about this making, yeah, but when

798
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: you're making a movie, you're probably doing like what a

799
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,400
Speaker 1: couple pages a day. I mean, if you're doing an

800
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: action movie, you're doing like half a page a day,

801
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 1: and on a television show you're doing nine to I

802
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 1: think one days, like twelve pages in a day. So

803
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 1: it's a lot of dialogue. It's a lot of dialog.

804
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: And to be fair, there was an actor who was

805
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 1: I was working with. They could not remember their lines

806
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,399
Speaker 1: to save their life. And the farthest that I went,

807
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: I didn't just improv. I was like, we're not all

808
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,600
Speaker 1: going to go home unless this gets done, so let's

809
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:41,600
Speaker 1: help get this done. I went over to scripty and

810
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,919
Speaker 1: I grabbed some blank pages and I wrote down their

811
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 1: lines and I taped them to my chest so that

812
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: they could just because the camera didn't even need to

813
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: be on them, no, right, it just we just needed

814
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: them to just say it. It happened, and I drove

815
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 1: home that night and I had the same thought like,

816
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,560
Speaker 1: is this a toxic trait? Is this a toxic date? Helper?

817
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 1: Right now?

818
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 2: And it again, compromise, balance, whatever you want to call it,

819
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 2: but sometimes you got to get in there and just

820
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: get it done. Yes, It's like I think about the

821
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 2: state of our industry sometimes, and you know, a lot

822
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 2: of these shows cost a lot of money. There's a

823
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 2: lot of time, a lot of resources, a lot of

824
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 2: people are doing so much work to make this thing

825
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 2: happen and not I know, we as the actors are

826
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 2: the like shiniest part of the.

827
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 1: Front of house. We're the front of house, but we're

828
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 1: like the last component.

829
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 2: So many other things got to come together for us

830
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 2: to be able to do those things. But that's why

831
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 2: when I show up, I'm like, not most of this

832
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,360
Speaker 2: is not about me. This is just about me doing

833
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:55,399
Speaker 2: my part. Sometimes it can become toxic without even knowing it,

834
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 2: and it's like you wake up one day and you're.

835
00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 1: Like, what happened? We were good? Yeah, it started off

836
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: so strong. Yeah, like you know, I can see to

837
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:08,400
Speaker 1: go back to the where we started with this. You

838
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 1: have to have leaders that are morally centered, kind, mindful, efficient,

839
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 1: and I mean fill in the business that they're in, right,

840
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,840
Speaker 1: because they're any other things if they're going to be

841
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:27,000
Speaker 1: in certain businesses. But when you have that, when you

842
00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 1: have that kind of leadership when someone goes awry, right,

843
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 1: if mom and dad or mom and mom or dad

844
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 1: and dad are driving down the road and the kids

845
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 1: are in the back and sisters hitting brother, brothers hitting sister,

846
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:42,840
Speaker 1: then what would happen. You'd pull over the car and

847
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 1: someone would get life right, same same and the rules

848
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 1: of life right. We need the leaders to pull the

849
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: fucking car over and be like, hey, stop hitting your brother. Yeah,

850
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 1: I think, yes, I stop hitting your sister. Kind of

851
00:45:57,719 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 1: love that.

852
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 2: And I mean there are times where I'm just like, again,

853
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,880
Speaker 2: industry wide, it's not like just movies or just to

854
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,760
Speaker 2: be or whatever, but there are moments where I'm like, hey.

855
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 3: Guys, whomever you are, whomever my parents are today, Wizard

856
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 3: of Oz health help, yes, who made that choice?

857
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: Yes you know. And again it's just I think I

858
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: think we're.

859
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 2: Ideally you'd like it to not be hr for real,

860
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 2: for real, but I think we're living in.

861
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: Wild times as it is.

862
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 2: So as I'm like moving through the industry trying to

863
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 2: do it with as semblance of integrity and whatnot and

864
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,400
Speaker 2: are maintain my own sense of humanity, It's like I

865
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 2: look at that stuff and I look at how companies

866
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,800
Speaker 2: seem to be run and I try to choose wisely

867
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 2: and to find projects, people companies that feel like we

868
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 2: have the same.

869
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 1: Ethos, Yes, and that you're matched, right, you're matched in

870
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,359
Speaker 1: so far as you can, because I think that, you know,

871
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,439
Speaker 1: I do think it's wild to me that actually there's

872
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 1: plenty of people who actually have a terrible reputation but

873
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 1: they continue to be hired. Which that's the part that's

874
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: wild to me. But I actually feel very strongly that

875
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 1: it's imperative that you have a good reputation. Like, I

876
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 1: care very much. I don't know what that I don't.

877
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 1: Maybe that makes me sound like a pigmy, but I

878
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 1: don't think I care very much about my reputation. I

879
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 1: care very much what it is, what people's experience is

880
00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: of working with me, and that it is and that

881
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: it is positive. Yeah, I don't. I'm the same.

882
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 2: And it's not as I would be honest in saying,

883
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 2: like it used to be from a space of.

884
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 1: Like I have to be liked. If I'm liked, I'll

885
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 1: continue to work, which can feel really trivial ye of authorit.

886
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 1: But it's actually not that I care what.

887
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 2: People feel and think when they work with me. So

888
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 2: in essence, I do care about my reputation because when

889
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 2: I come, I am always going with the intention of

890
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 2: being a problem solver, of churning in good work. Of

891
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 2: I am of maintaining the reality that I am a

892
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 2: problem solver, not someone who creates problems.

893
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,240
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not the problem.

894
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and might rather be known for excellence. Like

895
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 2: when she shows up, she does excellent work, she's kind,

896
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 2: we have a good time. Energy is not rank Like

897
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 2: why would you want that? I was always taught like,

898
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 2: be the be the energy in the room you want

899
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 2: to work with. So if that's what you really want

900
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 2: to work with, my god, fin, I want to get

901
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:43,439
Speaker 2: you a rieki session.

902
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:47,320
Speaker 1: Immediately clear your aura.

903
00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 2: I can't Like, that's not for me, it's so true,

904
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 2: it's so true.

905
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think it's you know, I think our

906
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 1: our industry also. I mean, I don't know, maybe if

907
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:01,960
Speaker 1: this is this is this speaks to when or how

908
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 1: I started, But I think that it used to be

909
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:08,040
Speaker 1: very focused on the outside, like how things looked. And

910
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: I still think there's that, you know, that that element.

911
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: But I think we're entering a time where, in a

912
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 1: very positive way, there's just there's there's there's actual room,

913
00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 1: there's actual space, there's actual desire to hire a lot

914
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 1: of different kinds of people. So your looks are different,

915
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 1: and because they're different, we're all just getting used to

916
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,439
Speaker 1: the fact that we live in a real world where

917
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 1: we are where we're going to look at things on

918
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,400
Speaker 1: screen that look like the world around us instead of

919
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 1: just looking at one kind of thing. And I think

920
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: that it's it's so important for the younger people, but

921
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: I mean the older people, the younger people in between.

922
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: It's important for everyone. But it's it's changing things. Yeah,

923
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 1: it's good. We all have to embrace that change. Yeah,

924
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 1: you know.

925
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 2: And that's where like the generations have to find that compromise, right,

926
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 2: like the ability to embrace the changes that are necessary

927
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 2: we all agree are necessary, Yeah, and start to.

928
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 1: Live into the change. It's and I agree with you.

929
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,440
Speaker 2: I think we are saying that, and I think it's

930
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 2: important and it should continue to be, Like it's part

931
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:19,600
Speaker 2: of that change is how I'm even here.

932
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 1: It's how you met me. Yeah, yeah, you know what

933
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: I mean, Like, that's it's it's good.

934
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 2: I think the fact that we can see that is

935
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 2: indicative of something really positive. It's it's our ability, I think,

936
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 2: in the midst of all the crazy to continue to

937
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:41,680
Speaker 2: embrace the change and be a part of the positive

938
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 2: change instead of letting.

939
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,040
Speaker 1: All that good, good change, Yeah, slip right on back

940
00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,360
Speaker 1: to what it used to me. Yeah. And the recognition

941
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 1: of humanity and the experience of being human, and the

942
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: experience is being very, very different for every single human.

943
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: You can't hear yourself the same way. I mean, think

944
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 1: about all the things we've talked about in the past hour,

945
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 1: where it's like everybody's coming with a different perspective, a

946
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 1: set of different set of experiences, a different set of intentions,

947
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: so many And it's funny. I remember talking to someone

948
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 1: who he was a young father and he raised his

949
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 1: kid in New York City, and I remember saying like,

950
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 1: oh gosh, I hadn't had kids yet. I was like,

951
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,240
Speaker 1: what's it like to raise a kid in New York City?

952
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 1: And it was close. And there's a million things that

953
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 1: are really hard about it. But the thing that I

954
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: love the most is that, you know, my kid is

955
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 1: sixteen right now, and you know what word he never says.

956
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 1: And he was like, word and he says, he never

957
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 1: says the weird he never says, that's weird. I love

958
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:36,839
Speaker 1: that because he grew up in New York City. And

959
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 1: when you're in New York City and we don't all

960
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 1: live in New York City, and it's not like it's

961
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:43,879
Speaker 1: the best city in the world except for it is. Yeah,

962
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 1: you get to see it all, and by getting to

963
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 1: see it all, you don't think anything's weird, because there

964
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: is nothing that's weird. It's just the experience of being human.

965
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 1: And sometimes it looks like this, and sometimes it looks

966
00:51:55,600 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, okay, so we have to talk about

967
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: something that looks new, sassy, spicy, special, and it is

968
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 1: your hair, my hair, short hair. I don't care, I care,

969
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:29,359
Speaker 1: why do I carry? Why do I care? I love

970
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:33,799
Speaker 1: this hair. I saw it on the GRAM first. I

971
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 1: was old. Is what I think we'reld I think it's bold.

972
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 1: I like it.

973
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:42,080
Speaker 2: I no, I love it. I started as short haired girly,

974
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 2: and then over the last four years, like was on

975
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 2: a long haired journey. And I loved that, like I

976
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:48,400
Speaker 2: loved how I felt.

977
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 1: I felt like, you know, it was my armor. You

978
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: couldn't tell me nothing with them inches. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

979
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 1: But I got home to New York and a day

980
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 1: later I called Ursula Stephens, my fabulous, fabulous hairdresser, was like,

981
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 1: chop it and this is what she did.

982
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 2: I started immediately feeling the vibration of liberation as she

983
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:13,479
Speaker 2: was cutting my hair off.

984
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:16,319
Speaker 1: And I love it. I love it.

985
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 2: And it's funny because I like grow even more into myself.

986
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 2: And there's this part of me that has always been there,

987
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,879
Speaker 2: but I realized was kind of buried and that part

988
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,239
Speaker 2: of me doesn't have a name quite yet.

989
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 1: But we're not okay. Please let me know when you

990
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,719
Speaker 1: when I get there, I'm gonna shoot you, text you like,

991
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 1: oh my god, uh huh. But I I don't know.

992
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 2: There's a there's an energy that's living with me right

993
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,839
Speaker 2: now that I love and it is this haircut, this

994
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:45,920
Speaker 2: new and vogue do.

995
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 1: I love the nineties. I love it so much. So

996
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 1: I saw you and one of the first things I

997
00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: said to you was, I too have had that hairdo.

998
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 1: Yes you did. I'm gonna unearth the picture of it

999
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna text you it. Please do, and I'm

1000
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: gonna and we're gonna I'm not even gonna I'm not

1001
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 1: even gonna tip. I'm not even gonna tell you how

1002
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,840
Speaker 1: I felt about it. I mean from my voice, you

1003
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 1: don't know if I loved it or but I feel

1004
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:13,839
Speaker 1: like you've got this good, good job. Well you've got

1005
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:17,359
Speaker 1: the best. I'm just I'm just gonna just I'm not

1006
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 1: gonna falsely flatter. I'm going to just tell you that

1007
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 1: it looks better on you than it did on me.

1008
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 1: But we're gonna find the photo. I'm gonna find the photo.

1009
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 1: Mine was more inspired by Wilson Phillips. It was a

1010
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:34,760
Speaker 1: China Phillips. You know, some day somebody's gonna want by baby.

1011
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,399
Speaker 1: But no, yeah, a lot of that, a lot of that. Yeah,

1012
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 1: we did that. I I will also say that the

1013
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 1: fantastic thing about living in this modern age that we

1014
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 1: live in is that while it's short and you can

1015
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 1: have this incredible energy. Julian Haff said the same thing,

1016
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:51,399
Speaker 1: by the way, because I said I I to toy

1017
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 1: with this, Bob idea great bob is that you in

1018
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 1: the just in with the with this. All you have

1019
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:00,959
Speaker 1: to do is in a share for a couple hours

1020
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:03,280
Speaker 1: and you can have long hair. Again, correct, It's true.

1021
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:05,840
Speaker 1: Like honestly, I love a wig like I do.

1022
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:10,240
Speaker 2: I've worn you wigs for quite a while, Like so great,

1023
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 2: so easy.

1024
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 1: Honestly, I could have long hair tomorrow. You could have

1025
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 1: a tomorrow, and it's so easy. And most people think

1026
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:17,799
Speaker 1: that it's they don't understand the magic of it. And

1027
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:20,400
Speaker 1: I was actually telling the girls. I honestly, I almost

1028
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 1: made one of them cry by telling them that I

1029
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:26,280
Speaker 1: did not think that Sabrina Carpenter's hair was probably all hers.

1030
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:27,959
Speaker 1: She wanted to die. She was, what are you talking about?

1031
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:29,840
Speaker 1: I said, well, she probably keeps the front out and

1032
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:32,080
Speaker 1: she was like, what is this language you're speaking? Why

1033
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: are you trying to tell me that Sabrine's hair is

1034
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 1: not hair, it's Sabraine's hair.

1035
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:42,839
Speaker 2: But you know that's the thing though, you again, popstars

1036
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 2: are real people too, and they have to protect their hair. Yes,

1037
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 2: Like that's a lot of like doing goes you know

1038
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:51,040
Speaker 2: what I mean?

1039
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 1: Stage light? Yeah, if I was them, i'd probably be

1040
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 1: wearing a wig too. Yeah, so I think it's I

1041
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 1: definitely would. I'd have a room full of them, like

1042
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 1: I don't flash your share? Does? Yes? That makes sense

1043
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:06,719
Speaker 1: to me, right, Yes, makes so much sense. Yeah, and

1044
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 1: you just keep Yeah, you pull out the front because

1045
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,640
Speaker 1: I do think that the hairline does give it away. Yeah,

1046
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not. I'm not a lace front fan

1047
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 1: if I'm honest.

1048
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, it looks so, yeah it can nine times out

1049
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 2: of ten I can see it.

1050
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, of course you can't.

1051
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 2: And I'm very picky about the wigs I wear in film. Yeah,

1052
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 2: on camera, because ah.

1053
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:29,720
Speaker 1: I cannot bad wig well, because listen, a bad anything,

1054
00:56:29,719 --> 00:56:31,640
Speaker 1: a bad wig, a bad prosthetic, it just takes you

1055
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:34,239
Speaker 1: out of it, girl, don't it. Yeah, that's why the

1056
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 1: unsung heroes man all those people I'm telling HMU like, oh,

1057
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:41,719
Speaker 1: not only do they make you look like that, but

1058
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 1: they also give you all the best gossip.

1059
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 2: They do give you the best cause of their Yeah,

1060
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:48,640
Speaker 2: I love I love a hair and makeup trailer.

1061
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 1: I really do. It's the best. But then but then again, you.

1062
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,719
Speaker 2: Gotta be like it's gonna be okay, guy, every thanks good.

1063
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, no, don't worry. I do that. I

1064
00:56:57,520 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 1: would do that, okay. And also I'm also much more

1065
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: like I definitely always make sure that I'm like I'm

1066
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:06,320
Speaker 1: an incoming receiver of the information. Yeah, it doesn't go anywhere.

1067
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 1: I don't. Ever, I'm good at keeping that that that

1068
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 1: that line. Yeah, you also like, I'm I like to

1069
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 1: partake in We were talking about this the other day

1070
00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 1: on the show. I like to partake in community building, gossip,

1071
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 1: like the things that tie us together. Yeah, did you.

1072
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 1: I'm not a nasty gossiper. No, I don't pass on

1073
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: bad information. But I've been known to come to go

1074
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:30,320
Speaker 1: up to people who I don't know because someone else

1075
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 1: said something great about them and be like, you don't

1076
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,240
Speaker 1: know me at all, but this person says that amazing

1077
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 1: thing about you. Yes, I.

1078
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 2: Love you.

1079
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:38,840
Speaker 1: Here you are.

1080
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 2: I've also done that. I'm pretty sure people look at

1081
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 2: me like I'm insane. But it's a good insane. It's

1082
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:47,200
Speaker 2: a good insane, and you're spreading.

1083
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 1: Your power is good. Spread joy kindness. It's free, exactly. Yeah.

1084
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 1: And it's a renewable source resource. It's a renewable resource.

1085
00:57:56,120 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 1: I like that. You should put that on a T shirt.

1086
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: There you go, kindness. It's like, call it renewable resource

1087
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:06,240
Speaker 1: of kindness. That's good. I want you to know that

1088
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 1: my experience of being with you for the past hour

1089
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,280
Speaker 1: has been very good. I have very much enjoyed this.

1090
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:16,080
Speaker 1: I will repeat your reputation is in town. I will

1091
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 1: further your good reputation. Thank you and I yours, as

1092
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 1: will all the people, no doubt that have listened to this,

1093
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 1: and thank you, Thank you very much for being here

1094
00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 1: with me. I look forward to every single time I

1095
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 1: get to see your bright, shining eyes, and you are

1096
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:35,600
Speaker 1: just one of the greatest gifts to UH, to our

1097
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,000
Speaker 1: industry and being able to watch you. But thank you

1098
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 1: for being here. And I love you. I love you.

1099
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. You're so cool, You're so cool.

1100
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 1: My friend is amazing. Oh I love my friend. Oh

1101
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 1: you heard your first All right, Well that's what we

1102
00:58:49,000 --> 00:59:01,520
Speaker 1: call the end of the episode.