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Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's the Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, my friend Melissa's scambal Loorie

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Speaker 1: could I do it? You got it? Saying we were

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Speaker 1: just sitting here. This is the fun part about having

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Speaker 1: a podcast because first of all, get to meet all

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Speaker 1: these amazing healers and then I've become friends with them,

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Speaker 1: and so you and I have been sitting here for

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Speaker 1: the last half hour just catching up and talking and

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Speaker 1: it's I mean, we could literally do that all day.

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Speaker 1: I was like, we gotta actually start recording. But I know,

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Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're here. You've actually been here before.

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Speaker 1: You were here with your fiance Jake Widdard, who's also

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Speaker 1: been on the podcast multiple times. But I wanted to

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Speaker 1: have you on and talk through obviously your story and

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Speaker 1: then kind of connect with the feminine energy aspect of

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Speaker 1: all this masculine and feminine energy work that you guys

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Speaker 1: do and that y'all have taught me about. So first

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Speaker 1: of all, I'm happy you're here. Hih hi Hi, I'm

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Speaker 1: so glad. When you contact me about it, I'm like, yes,

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Speaker 1: so want to chat with her and have like girl

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Speaker 1: talk and yeah, and go a little deeper into you know,

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Speaker 1: the stuff that women in this world really need to

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Speaker 1: connect to and allow themselves to feel again. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I was just kind of telling you how integral even

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Speaker 1: connecting with the body, which is something that you've taught me,

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Speaker 1: has been to like a part of my healing in

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Speaker 1: the last year. Um. And I was thinking about when

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Speaker 1: I was really thinking about talking to you, I was like,

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Speaker 1: what is it that really drives me to connect with

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Speaker 1: Melissa's work? And you know that thing that people say

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Speaker 1: where it's like you find people who you want what

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Speaker 1: they have and then you like follow them. And so

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Speaker 1: I see in you things that I want, like the

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Speaker 1: way that you're connected to your own inner knowing and

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Speaker 1: your soul and all of that has been through a

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Speaker 1: process of hardships and life and all this stuff, and

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Speaker 1: you've done the work and then you've gotten to this result.

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Speaker 1: And so I'm like, well, I want what she has,

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Speaker 1: so I'm gonna go like and it really draws me

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Speaker 1: to your content because I could necked with it, you know,

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Speaker 1: And there's such a part of your story that's like, well,

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Speaker 1: the reason you know how to say all this stuff

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Speaker 1: is because of what you've been through to get here,

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Speaker 1: So tell us let's go let's go back. Let's talk

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Speaker 1: to the listeners a little bit about how did you

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Speaker 1: get here? What did your life look like? Because you

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Speaker 1: have an interesting story, because you're an American idol and

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Speaker 1: all this stuff that people would be like, what to

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Speaker 1: talk through all that? Well, first I have to say

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Speaker 1: that was like the nicest compliment, So thank you for that.

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Speaker 1: I really I allow myself to perceive that, and I

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Speaker 1: appreciate that. So I grew up as a little girl

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Speaker 1: who performed and singing and dancing for her parents all

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Speaker 1: the time. I wasn't I wasn't afraid of anything. I

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Speaker 1: was expressive and creative, and I remember as I started

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Speaker 1: to grow up, I was in musical theater and I

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Speaker 1: just loved music. I loved creating things and and performing

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Speaker 1: and making people smile and helping others things like that.

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Speaker 1: As I grew up and became like a teenager, then

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Speaker 1: it kind of set in that that wasn't really the

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Speaker 1: cool thing. And the group of girls that I hung

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Speaker 1: out with, and so I so desperately wanted to fit in,

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Speaker 1: and so I kind of quieted a lot of parts

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Speaker 1: of myself down that were into imagination and my creativity

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Speaker 1: and tried to be the cool girl and to be

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Speaker 1: honest looking back at it. Even though I have been

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Speaker 1: involved in music and performing up until now, still I've

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Speaker 1: quieted down so many parts of myself until maybe about

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Speaker 1: four years ago when I started to really crack open

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Speaker 1: and allow myself to fully embrace who I was as

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Speaker 1: a woman, who I was, as a lover, who I was,

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Speaker 1: as every aspect of myself. So I moved to New

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Speaker 1: York City right after American at All. I auditioned for

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Speaker 1: that show in oh gosh, two thousand, maybe six or seven.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, I didn't realize it was that long. It

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Speaker 1: was a long time early in that shows run, it

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Speaker 1: was it was like season six or seven. I think

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Speaker 1: it was season six. And I made it through. I

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Speaker 1: did the whole Hollywood thing. Actually I auditioned in Memphis, Tennessee. OK.

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Speaker 1: So I made it through and then I got I

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Speaker 1: got to the top forty and I got cut. And

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Speaker 1: so the way that reality TV works as you're under

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Speaker 1: a contract. So I was under a contract for a while.

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Speaker 1: But after that duration of that year contract, I moved

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Speaker 1: to New York City and I started pursuing songwriting and

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Speaker 1: music and all that. So a lot of years passed

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Speaker 1: and I lived there, and I've moved different parts of

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Speaker 1: the world kind of pursuing this dream of music. And

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Speaker 1: it's funny because all of the relationships that I've been in,

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Speaker 1: all the places that I've traveled, kind of showed me

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Speaker 1: more about myself. I just wasn't really open to it,

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Speaker 1: if that If that makes sense. So I can distinctly

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Speaker 1: remember living in New York and I had a good job.

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Speaker 1: I worked at a recording studio, I was songwriting, I

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Speaker 1: had really great friends. But I would wake up like

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Speaker 1: a couple of times, maybe three or four times a month,

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Speaker 1: really sad, really depressed, and I didn't know what was wrong.

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Speaker 1: It was just the whole day I was like stuck

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Speaker 1: in my bed. I'm like, what is wrong with me?

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Speaker 1: Like everything just seems so good, everything seems so great,

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Speaker 1: but something wasn't right and I couldn't figure out what

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Speaker 1: it was. And at the time, I was afraid to

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Speaker 1: really look deeper within myself. So eventually, after many ups

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Speaker 1: and downs through pursuing music, I decided to move back

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Speaker 1: to New York, where I'm upstate New York that's where

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Speaker 1: I'm originally from. And once I got back here, I

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Speaker 1: had been going through a really bad breakup and it

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Speaker 1: it shot me down for a really long time. Without

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Speaker 1: you know, too many details of everything, it was just

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Speaker 1: it was my breaking point of completely losing myself. Everything

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Speaker 1: I've known about myself, everything I thought about myself, everything

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Speaker 1: I tried to make myself look like, it all got

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Speaker 1: washed away through this heartache that I experienced. And from

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Speaker 1: there after about a year of like grieving and trying

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Speaker 1: to heal, I started to open myself up to what

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Speaker 1: life was trying to show me. And it's interesting because

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Speaker 1: my love for music and my love for dance and

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Speaker 1: my love for movement, it wasn't meant to be the

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Speaker 1: way that I thought it was supposed to be, so

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Speaker 1: I was heading down the wrong path. It was leading

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Speaker 1: me more towards utilizing it for healing, utilizing it for

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Speaker 1: helping bringing these gifts that I was holding onto into

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Speaker 1: the world. And so now here we are, and I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to think how many years ago, and that was

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Speaker 1: maybe like six years ago. I finally, you know, feel

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Speaker 1: very satisfied with my connection with myself and my work

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Speaker 1: and what I bring into the world and I never

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Speaker 1: thought that was possible. And we'll kind of dive into

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Speaker 1: how you use the music and the dance stuff still

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Speaker 1: in a bit, but um, I want to circle back

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Speaker 1: to that moment of realization because you mentioned you're going

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Speaker 1: through a really bad breakup, and um, I mean I

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Speaker 1: hate that it takes us sometimes these really like heartbreaking

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Speaker 1: moments to really accept okay, like life is trying to

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Speaker 1: show me something, but it does right, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: think that we actually are for me. I guess I'll

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Speaker 1: keep it on me. I don't pay attention a lot

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Speaker 1: of times until pain makes me pay attention, Like I

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Speaker 1: can be just like going through life and thinking, you know,

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Speaker 1: creating quote unquote the path that I'm supposed to be on.

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Speaker 1: I'm not connected to the universe at all. I'm very

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Speaker 1: much driving the bus, which is probably a masculine energy thing.

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Speaker 1: It's also very disconnected to myself because I'm a very

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Speaker 1: heavy core feminine um energy and so yeah, it's just

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Speaker 1: interesting though because sometimes then you get in a situation

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Speaker 1: and the pain it just like you like blast into

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Speaker 1: that wall and you can't not face it anymore. So

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Speaker 1: what happened, Like, what moment did you. You said you

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Speaker 1: had this wake up where you're like, Okay, what is

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Speaker 1: life trying to show me? Why did the relationship take

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Speaker 1: you there? I think it exposed a lot of a

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Speaker 1: lot of parts of myself that I didn't want to see.

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Speaker 1: And I did a lot of forcing in that relationship,

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Speaker 1: forcing myself to be something that I really wasn't, forcing

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Speaker 1: myself to accept things that didn't feel good to me,

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Speaker 1: forcing myself to let things kind of slide by the

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Speaker 1: wayside that didn't feel good. And I remember, I think

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Speaker 1: last time I was on the show, I talked about

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Speaker 1: this like moment of I got to get out of

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Speaker 1: this relationship or this relationship isn't for me, And it

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Speaker 1: was I was living in Arizona at this time, and

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Speaker 1: it was this book that I had made years before

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Speaker 1: about um, like a discovery board or a vision board.

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Speaker 1: I had made it about what I wanted for, like

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Speaker 1: my ideal relationship, you know, how I wanted to feel,

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Speaker 1: what I wanted to look like, things like that, And

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Speaker 1: I found it when I was kind of in a

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Speaker 1: pivotal moment of should I say or should I go?

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Speaker 1: What am I gonna do here? Because I'm not happy,

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Speaker 1: He's not happy, this isn't working. But letting go of

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Speaker 1: what you think that relationship needs to be is really hard.

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Speaker 1: And so I was cleaning out some stuff and I

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Speaker 1: found that book, and all these words just hit me

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Speaker 1: because none of them, all these pictures, all these emotions,

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Speaker 1: none of them were what I was feeling. And that

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Speaker 1: was my first turning point of Okay, like it's time

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Speaker 1: for me to go. I gotta let go of this.

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Speaker 1: It was like the click, like I got clarity. That

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Speaker 1: was my first point of clarity to leave that relationship.

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Speaker 1: So that's kind of the first step for most of us,

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Speaker 1: is allowing yourself to really see what's happening here, behind

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Speaker 1: the smoking mirrors, behind what you're trying to put out

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Speaker 1: into the world, and look at it for what it is.

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Speaker 1: So picked up and I moved back. And when I

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Speaker 1: got back here, I had no money, no direction, no

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Speaker 1: idea about myself anymore. It was like, like I said,

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Speaker 1: everything I thought I was wasn't that everything I thought

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Speaker 1: I wanted. I realized that I didn't, and so I

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Speaker 1: had to kind of It's almost as if if I

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Speaker 1: could visualize, it's almost as if like every like your

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Speaker 1: clothes are just like all stripped, like and you're this

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Speaker 1: new baby again, like you're almost have like a rebirth

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Speaker 1: of a possibility for you to now be more of

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Speaker 1: who you are instead of the hats or the masks

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Speaker 1: that you've been wearing. And at first I really didn't

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Speaker 1: know what to do with that. I was full of panic,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm a crazy person, Like there's

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Speaker 1: something wrong with me, Like this in my life is

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Speaker 1: never going to get better. I'm just gonna be depressed

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Speaker 1: like this forever. And it was the grieving process which

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Speaker 1: I think I never really allowed myself to go through

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Speaker 1: in other breakups. I kind of just, you know, went

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Speaker 1: out with my girlfriends and we're like, yeah, we're good,

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Speaker 1: Like it's fine, like screw him, you know. And And

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Speaker 1: this wasn't that at all. This was like life was

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Speaker 1: giving me a kick and making me move and I

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Speaker 1: accepted that. And then once I got back here, I

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Speaker 1: really at the time, I don't think I knew what

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Speaker 1: I was doing, but I was letting myself just be.

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Speaker 1: I was letting myself just I would go to bed

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Speaker 1: crying and wake up crying. I was just letting myself be.

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Speaker 1: There was nothing else that I wanted to do. There's

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Speaker 1: nothing else that I felt like I could do, and

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for that. But it's not easy. No, It's

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Speaker 1: so interesting because as I'm listening to you talk, you know,

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Speaker 1: they always talk about relationships just being mirrors, and like,

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Speaker 1: if we can let go of the idea of a

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Speaker 1: relationship is going to make our life complete or we

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Speaker 1: have to have this relationship forever and that means success.

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Speaker 1: Like because when I'm listening to you talk, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: this relationship just mirrored your disconnection to yourself, which has

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Speaker 1: exactly been my own experience in the last I don't know,

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Speaker 1: four or five years. It's just so many things coming

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Speaker 1: into my life in different relationships, romantic friendship, work of

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Speaker 1: all of these ways I've and out of alignment with

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Speaker 1: what I actually even want. Like you said, you had

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Speaker 1: this list and you look at it and you're like

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Speaker 1: what because nothing in your life looks like these things

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Speaker 1: that you identify as your core values even or what

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Speaker 1: you want um And so when I'm listening to you talk,

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Speaker 1: I'm hearing you do you are grieving the relationship, but

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Speaker 1: you're also grieving this like fantasy and this programming for

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Speaker 1: yourself in your own life. Of things that you thought

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Speaker 1: you needed to be successful, or to be complete, or

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Speaker 1: to be a full woman, or whatever whatever thing we

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Speaker 1: put on top of it, and then you didn't really

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Speaker 1: have the direction of what it was supposed to look

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Speaker 1: like either, because we aren't really taught that. Like we're

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Speaker 1: taught it needs to fit in this box, but like

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Speaker 1: what if that box doesn't really like connect with who

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Speaker 1: you are? Well, then oftentimes if you're open to it,

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Speaker 1: you're going to get allowed. Hey now, and and it

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Speaker 1: shows up for people in so many different ways. You know,

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Speaker 1: at that time, I was just I was just so

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Speaker 1: sad and so upset. But that was the turning point

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Speaker 1: in my life. So it's anytime you look back on

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Speaker 1: your life and I feel like yourself and the listeners

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Speaker 1: can feel this too. Is anytime you've had big growth

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Speaker 1: in your life, it's generally from some sort of pain

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Speaker 1: that you experience because life is really forcing you to move,

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Speaker 1: it's pushing you in a different direction, and if it's

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Speaker 1: not loud, then oftentimes you won't do anything totally. So

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Speaker 1: the louder it is, you're being called for something way

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Speaker 1: better and way bigger. But it's up to us to

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Speaker 1: really listen yeah, and I think something I mean that

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Speaker 1: I'm resonating with because this is where I am exactly

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Speaker 1: as when you're talking about you just for allowing yourself

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Speaker 1: to be like I've almost been forced into that in

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Speaker 1: this season in my life too, um you know, pandemic whatever,

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Speaker 1: all of it, it just all has really put me

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Speaker 1: in that place. And I still find myself on a

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Speaker 1: daily like I want to pick up and like control

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Speaker 1: and do and and take the next step. And like, honestly,

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Speaker 1: there I can take the next right step. But there

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Speaker 1: isn't much more than that that I'm being asked to

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Speaker 1: do right now because I have no clear direction. And

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of it is in this like

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Speaker 1: waiting and this trusting that things will reveal themselves in

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Speaker 1: the right time. But it can be really uncomfortable. And

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Speaker 1: so it's interesting because I also think something our culture

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Speaker 1: creates is this like if you're not doing your like

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Speaker 1: dying And actually I actually feel the most alive I've

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Speaker 1: probably felt in years. It doesn't mean it's not painful, though,

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Speaker 1: because I'm letting go of a lot of stuff right

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Speaker 1: now that wasn't serving me, even my own mentalities and

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Speaker 1: like ideas about who I was, so it's like really uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: So can you talk through maybe some of that period

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Speaker 1: of your life other than like crying when you're waking

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Speaker 1: up and going to flue, What did it look like?

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Speaker 1: I just kind of want to normalize this for people,

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Speaker 1: like getting uncomfortable in the unknowing at that time, it

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Speaker 1: was really forced upon me where I've always thought I

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Speaker 1: was the girl who's like cool and chill and I'm

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Speaker 1: sad but like I'm okay, and like I'm positive and

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Speaker 1: I'm good and I can handle it myself and I

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Speaker 1: can I've always kind of played that character. So to

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Speaker 1: completely fall apart, I just I was being hard on

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Speaker 1: myself at this you know, I was I was allowing

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Speaker 1: myself to be, but I was being hard on myself

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Speaker 1: because I needed to pick up and be the one

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Speaker 1: that made it out of this relationship good and looked

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Speaker 1: like she was doing better. But I physically and emotionally

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Speaker 1: and all of that, like I really just couldn't do it.

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Speaker 1: So I feel like one of the things I did

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Speaker 1: a lot of is going out and like walking in

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Speaker 1: like nature trails and kind of talking to myself and

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Speaker 1: talking through my emotions and things like that. I'm really

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Speaker 1: trying to like look back, because to me now it

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Speaker 1: feels like this, but it was a really like it

300
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Speaker 1: feels like the blink of an eye. But it was

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Speaker 1: a really long period of of grieving, and I had

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Speaker 1: an up and down of the feeling like a very

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Speaker 1: powerful woman that like I left this relationship, but then

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Speaker 1: and then having very heavy crashes of I just feel terrible,

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Speaker 1: like maybe I made the wrong decision. What if I

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Speaker 1: date someone else that's worse than this and I just

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Speaker 1: screwed myself over. But that's an It really is a

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Speaker 1: natural way of going through grievances. The uncertainty of the

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Speaker 1: future is really scary to us. And because we painted

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Speaker 1: a picture of this relationship, separating what's real and what's not,

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Speaker 1: and what's not serving us in what is, it's hard

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Speaker 1: to distinguish between the two. And women especially, we have

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Speaker 1: this weird idea that we have to stop loving someone

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Speaker 1: in order to move on from them. You have to

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Speaker 1: they have to be the villain in our life in

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Speaker 1: order for us to thrive. They have to be the

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Speaker 1: bad guy, and we're the good and we're the good guy.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not saying it has to be either way.

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Speaker 1: Or not, but loving someone. You can love someone and

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Speaker 1: still know that they're not good for you, So it's

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Speaker 1: not really about stopping that love, because maybe it takes

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Speaker 1: time to really fully let go of the feelings you

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Speaker 1: had for them. They took up a chunk of your life,

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Speaker 1: and depending on how deep you went emotionally together, it

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Speaker 1: takes time to move on from that. Breakups and moving

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Speaker 1: on from relationships that aren't good for us is more

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Speaker 1: about reconnecting to self, love and reconnecting to who we

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Speaker 1: are because for many women, we get lost in the

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Speaker 1: relationship and we become we become the pleaser, we become

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Speaker 1: the mother, We become anything that they need us to be.

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Speaker 1: Because we have these beautiful hearts, we don't offer them

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Speaker 1: to ourselves. That totally hits. I thought I was the

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Speaker 1: only one who just lost myself over and over, but

334
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 1: it's it's so true, and that's been part of this

335
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: journey that I've been on recently. Is just like, well,

336
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Speaker 1: first of all, getting to know this new version of

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Speaker 1: myself or maybe the true self that I wasn't really

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Speaker 1: even aware of, you know, or accepting of for a

339
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,159
Speaker 1: really long time. Um, but I was, Yeah, I was

340
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,439
Speaker 1: having this conversation with a friend this week, because I

341
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: keep saying like I'm getting ready to maybe think about

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Speaker 1: dating again. But when I actually started thinking about it

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00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:40,119
Speaker 1: this week, I was thinking to myself, I just don't

344
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Speaker 1: know if I want to give my energy to investing

345
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Speaker 1: in anyone else yet, Like I actually really feel this,

346
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Speaker 1: um need for my own energy right now, do you

347
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, And I think it's interesting

348
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Speaker 1: because especially I'm about to turn forty in two months,

349
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Speaker 1: and so I think there's like all of these heavy

350
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:07,720
Speaker 1: programming things around, um, you know, the timeline, And luckily

351
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Speaker 1: this last situation really kind of I had to dissolve

352
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Speaker 1: some of those, and I think that it just hits

353
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Speaker 1: such a head that like I was like jigs up,

354
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Speaker 1: like it's just isn't happening for me at this time. Um,

355
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Speaker 1: And I've really just had to accept that and also

356
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 1: kind of realize how ridiculously uh what's the word unrealistic

357
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 1: those things were, Like it doesn't mean I'm messed up

358
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 1: where it's my life isn't good because I'm not in

359
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,320
Speaker 1: a certain place relationship wise, like I actually feel more true,

360
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Speaker 1: like I'm gonna find something more true to me. Um,

361
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Speaker 1: because I'm being open to letting go of a timeline.

362
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Speaker 1: But all of that to say that, what was I saying? Um,

363
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Speaker 1: now I did it my whole thing where I'm off

364
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,880
Speaker 1: on a tangent. I don't even know where I came from.

365
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 1: I think just about like, oh, I didn't want it,

366
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Speaker 1: and I'm not sure that I want to invest in

367
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 1: someone else yet in the interesting that we don't really

368
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 1: talk about that like that being okay of you know,

369
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,439
Speaker 1: like you don't have to you don't have to be

370
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Maybe we do need to turn our

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Speaker 1: hearts and our love towards ourselves sometimes, you know, And um,

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Speaker 1: I'm getting actually really comfortable with that. I see that

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Speaker 1: in you like just this this like wait, I need this,

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00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,320
Speaker 1: or setting boundaries in your life in general around like

375
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 1: what your connection to yourself is. So do you feel

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Speaker 1: like you kind of found that during that time of

377
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 1: your life. I think I started to Okay, I think

378
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,680
Speaker 1: that the light bulbs were going off off a lot,

379
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,639
Speaker 1: but I wasn't making all the connections because I was

380
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:46,159
Speaker 1: still trying to come come out of the sadness that

381
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 1: I was experiencing. Yeah, does that make sense? It is?

382
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,199
Speaker 1: So it's just an ongoing journey. It always will be.

383
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Speaker 1: The truth is is that you will You're never ready.

384
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:04,199
Speaker 1: You're never really ready for anything. Yeah, and so we

385
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,479
Speaker 1: can put it on. And I'm not saying I'm not

386
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 1: saying this because of what you said. But we can

387
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: put it off. We can put it off. We can

388
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,119
Speaker 1: put it off. If you feel if you're being called

389
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 1: to connect deeper with yourself, then I think that you

390
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 1: should honor that. But I think that it's always important

391
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,760
Speaker 1: to take a look at the wise. Like, I mean,

392
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 1: it's such a simple question, but why why am I

393
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 1: heart on myself? Or why do I feel like I'm

394
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 1: not ready to have a relationship, or why? It's just

395
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 1: asking yourself questions because from the majority of us grew

396
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,359
Speaker 1: up never really having our our own emotions honored or

397
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,639
Speaker 1: making our own decisions. We were usually told what we

398
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 1: need to do, how we need to feel, what we

399
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: need to stop doing. You know, so most people that

400
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 1: that I come in contact with, that I work with, like, well,

401
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,120
Speaker 1: how do you feel? Like, Well, I don't know how

402
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 1: I feel because we're never really It's it's kind of

403
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 1: frowned upon in our society to be like, well I

404
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 1: feel this way, Well, I don't feel that way, you know,

405
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 1: So connect think too, how you really feel, what you

406
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,959
Speaker 1: really want in a relationship, what you want to feel

407
00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: the majority of your day, and then trying to head

408
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 1: in that direction is really important because the outside noise,

409
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 1: in the opinions and the projections, they don't go away.

410
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 1: So if you're not standing on a solid foundation of self,

411
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: then you will constantly be bending and molding to make

412
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: everybody else happy. Well that just said it right there,

413
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: because as you were saying that, I was thinking to myself,

414
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: am I not ready to invest in someone else? Am

415
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: I not willing to lose myself again? And so like,

416
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 1: and I don't know, And maybe that's something I have

417
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 1: to navigate as I try. But like, that's so funny

418
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: because I felt that I felt that way too. Yeah,

419
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 1: So when left the relationship, I rebuilt this whole person

420
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 1: that started to be joyful and happy, and I got

421
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 1: to a point where I was like, I'm okay if

422
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 1: it's just me, but I do really want a relationship.

423
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: And that's the thing is that we have to admit

424
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 1: what we want. It's okay to ask for what you

425
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 1: want and then see what happens. But a lot of

426
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: people be like I don't care about having a boyfriend,

427
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: or I don't like screw guys, or that you know,

428
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't resonate with that because because deep

429
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,200
Speaker 1: down there's a lot of people that are just saying

430
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,639
Speaker 1: that to protect themselves. And I mean I went through

431
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: the you know, rebellion against guys because I was angry

432
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 1: thing too. But then I got to a great point

433
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,880
Speaker 1: where I decided to start exploring how to find more

434
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: joy in my own life. I started planning more things

435
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 1: I wanted to do. I stopped waiting to feel good.

436
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, what can I do for myself

437
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: today to feel good? And when I got to this

438
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 1: point where everything was like good and coasting in pops,

439
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: Jake twitterard like what the heck? But I was so

440
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,360
Speaker 1: like elated and pulled to him and connected to him.

441
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,159
Speaker 1: But I remember a moment when he asked me to

442
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: be like in a committed relationship. You know, we had

443
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: been dating a little bit. He's like, I want to

444
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: commit to this relationship, like I wanted to be my girlfriend.

445
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 1: And it was like the flash of panic went through

446
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,400
Speaker 1: my brain, was like, oh, do I want to do

447
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,960
Speaker 1: this again? Like what if it doesn't work, Am I

448
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 1: gonna get over it? What? Am I? And and it

449
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: all happened like like a blink. Okay, I feel like

450
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: That's like the common theme of what I'm expressing is

451
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 1: like everything in the moment feels very heavy, but when

452
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 1: you look back, it's like if it's like a second

453
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: but it was all the panics said, and then and

454
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 1: then this realization of I am like, the fear of

455
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: getting hurt by this relationship is not as great as

456
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 1: my desire to allow myself to try this again. And

457
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 1: so that's what brought me to the point of saying, yeah,

458
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,119
Speaker 1: let's try it, and let's see what happens, you know,

459
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: And I mean now my life is completely different from

460
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,159
Speaker 1: that point because I allowed myself to open up and

461
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: to work on things and to work on myself and

462
00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: to come into a safe container. Usually how it happens,

463
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: it's it's like, especially for people who have a feminine core,

464
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,640
Speaker 1: if you're just out there in the world and you're

465
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 1: really at a good place where you feel pretty clear

466
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 1: about who you are and what you want, and you

467
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 1: hold onto that and you honor it as you meet people,

468
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 1: then you're going to kind of weed out the people

469
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: who aren't good for you naturally. Yeah, I actually love

470
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 1: that because I think I think fear can, especially when

471
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: you come out of a situation that was extremely painful

472
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 1: or really hard or whatever it is, you do have

473
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 1: like a guard up in some ways, and as much

474
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 1: as like, you know, I feel like I'm actually lowering

475
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: that and I'm sure it comes up. And so maybe

476
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: that was my instinct to be like, oh, maybe I'm

477
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 1: not ready to date. But the reality is is I've

478
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 1: just started to actually get to know myself in a

479
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: new way and I'm enjoying that process and kind of

480
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 1: feeling a new sense of peace and calm come over

481
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 1: me every step I take deeper into that process. Um,

482
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,280
Speaker 1: and I don't have it quote unquote figured out, And

483
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,120
Speaker 1: so my instinct is to be like, well, then I'm

484
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: not ready or then I'm not whatever, And that's not

485
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 1: really how life works, because especially if we're talking about relationships,

486
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: it is where you can get to know yourself greater

487
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:18,359
Speaker 1: or better or more and deeper. And um, yeah, I

488
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just having this kind of aha moment

489
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 1: of like, wait, maybe it's not that it's that I

490
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 1: don't want to lose my connection to myself again. And

491
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 1: so that is what a good practice of, like learning

492
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 1: how to have boundaries within a situation, because whatever I

493
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: did in the past, it didn't work for me. Like

494
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: being boundaryless or just like operating in this programming of

495
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: what I needed to be doing. It doesn't work for me.

496
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 1: It blows up in my face every time. And so

497
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: that's what I don't want to do again. And can

498
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 1: I tell you something I don't. I don't have it

499
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: figured out either. Yeah, I know, nobody really does. You know.

500
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: We do the best we can with what we have,

501
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 1: and we try to show up as the best version

502
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 1: of ourselves. And there's some days that that does work out.

503
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: That way, you have to give yourself permission to not

504
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: have it all figured out, and that'd be okay, you know,

505
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,719
Speaker 1: And nobody does. I don't care what it looks like

506
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 1: online or nobody really does, you know, Like we're all

507
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 1: just kind of learning lessons and again trying to be

508
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: the best version of ourselves. But I don't know, I

509
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: just don't. I think that we're too hard on ourselves.

510
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 1: I agree, Well, I don't even realize I'm doing it right,

511
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 1: Like that was just the new awareness that God is.

512
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 1: As I'm saying this to you, I'm like blocking myself

513
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: even more again because I'm like, oh, it's not in

514
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 1: this picture perfect box yet yet. You know, there's always

515
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 1: the yet, and like yet doesn't exist. It's not all

516
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: this works because you'll never be there ever. You know,

517
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: you'll like five years from now, you'd be like, I'm

518
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: almost there. But like you know, but I mean, a

519
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: relationship has the ability to take us deeper within ourselves

520
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 1: if we allow the right relationship the right relationship. Yeah,

521
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: that's an alignment. Yeah, but but now that you're aware

522
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 1: of what you did before, awareness is really where you're

523
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 1: a lot of our power lies, so you don't do

524
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 1: that again. You know. When I felt myself do that,

525
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: that was my tendency. It's like completely lose myself and

526
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: like people please my partner, you know, whatever they needed.

527
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 1: And that was just kind of like my cycle. So

528
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: that happened in the very beginning of my relationship with Jake,

529
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: and it took we we had separated for a little

530
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: bit of time, and that was one of my moments

531
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: it is like I'm totally doing that again, and so

532
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: I just had to reconnect with myself and from there,

533
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: like I've never done that since you know it's it's

534
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: but I was gonna say, let's talk a little bit

535
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: about you said reconnect with yourself, and it made me

536
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: really think about again why I'm drawn to your work.

537
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: And we've mentioned a couple of times this like feminine

538
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: essence and um, if you guys don't know what we're

539
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: talking about, we're talking about the masculine feminine energy. You

540
00:29:57,200 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: can go take a test on Jake's website. I actually

541
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 1: it's Jake twitter dot com. And if you don't know

542
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: your core, that might be a good place to start,

543
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: because it really can help you into understanding maybe where

544
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: your work even is if you're feeling really disconnected from that.

545
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: But I have a very feminine core. I believe you

546
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 1: do as well, and I've been really disconnected from it.

547
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 1: We also both have both, like that was something that

548
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: is kind of like balancing that as an interesting thing

549
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 1: because we and we both need both. Um. But I've

550
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 1: been driven by my masculine or trying to live in

551
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: my masculine for a while, and that was why so

552
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: much of my life was just completely out of alignment.

553
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 1: Because while maybe my career looked successful to people it

554
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: could have been, I guess, and it wasn't. I was

555
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: making the most money that I've ever made in my life,

556
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: but I was so unfulfilled, and I was so out

557
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: of touch, and I was medicating my way through every

558
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 1: day with work and alcohol and all these things that

559
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,239
Speaker 1: like really didn't make me feel true to myself. And

560
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 1: so getting back can touch with my true core is

561
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 1: a very healing, empowering thing. So can you talk me

562
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: through how you even started to tap in to yours

563
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: and what that even is. Let's do this first. Tell

564
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:20,719
Speaker 1: us what feminine, feminine core or feminine divine, feminine even is.

565
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 1: So the feminine the from an energetic standpoint, there's the

566
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: masculine energy, the feminine energy. Going off what you said,

567
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: we both like everyone in this world has both energies

568
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 1: within them, and everyone has a unique balance. Your core

569
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: is the one that feels the best, and that your body,

570
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 1: your soul, your heart, your mind wants to use the

571
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: majority of the time. It's where you're thriving. It's where

572
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I feel great doing this. Okay, So,

573
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: but masculine energy is our structure and our leadership and

574
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: our giving energy and our decision making and kind of

575
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 1: it's our our and our stuff done very logical. What

576
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: makes the most sense. The feminine energy is our connection

577
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 1: to love, our heart center, our emotions, our sensuality, it's

578
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: our compassionate side, it's our gentleness, it's our receiving energy.

579
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: And if you take like just I'm gonna ask you,

580
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 1: you take both of those. When you look at the

581
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,719
Speaker 1: say the feminine energy column, what do you what do

582
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: you quickly judge it to be? Well, I mean my

583
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 1: quick thing would be I think the programming for me

584
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: is that's weak. Everybody that Yeah. Also, when I was

585
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: listening to you talk, I had a very specific mindset

586
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: with this podcast to not over prepare because I was

587
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 1: like that when I get driven in that of like

588
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: this is how this conversation needs to go, and these

589
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: questions and like a super specific outline. I can't really

590
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 1: be in my flow and I am in my masculine

591
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: a lot when I'm doing these interviews, which is okay,

592
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,719
Speaker 1: and I need to be sometimes, but I didn't want

593
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: to be with you. And so it's interesting to even

594
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 1: watch myself ask these questions as I just navigate what's

595
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: coming up, Like it's a very interesting difference that I

596
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 1: can tell. But learning to trust yourself open new doors

597
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: and all those structure is great. There has to be

598
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: room for flow, that has to be room for spontaneity.

599
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: So because life isn't always going to work out the

600
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: way we think it's supposed to, we'd love to structure

601
00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 1: our whole day, but sometimes stuff comes up, and can

602
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: you allow yourself to flow through that and not lose

603
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: your mind because you're not on schedule. That's kind of

604
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 1: where where we're at our world and the way that

605
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: we've all been conditioned to live our lives is I say,

606
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: from the neck up. So it's all the mind. Even

607
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,239
Speaker 1: as we heal, we always want to how can I,

608
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 1: like change my thoughts and how can I manipulate my mind?

609
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 1: And how can I? But within our bodies we have

610
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 1: all of these gifts that help us through the healing process,

611
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: help us connect deeper with ourselves and really feel the

612
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: fullness of the experiences that we're in. And that's all

613
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 1: what feminine energy is. It's all about that movement, that flow,

614
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 1: that compassion, that love, that like I. That's the best

615
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 1: way I always describe feminine energy because any time I

616
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 1: surrender into just coming into my body. That's how I feel.

617
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 1: It's like all the weight just drips off of you

618
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 1: and you are open to whatever life is showing you

619
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: and you're not afraid of it. It's just you just

620
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: allow yourself to be. Masculine is doing and feminine is being,

621
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 1: and there needs to be a time for all of

622
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: us to do and a time for us to be.

623
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 1: The problem is is most of us are never being

624
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,720
Speaker 1: and we're always doing, and so we're tense and tight,

625
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: and we don't feel connected to things anymore, and we're

626
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: not present in the moment. We're not absorbing the fullness

627
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 1: of our lives. We're just head down, let me get

628
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 1: through my tasks. Yeah, and that's disconnecting, especially someone who

629
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: has a feminine core that is so stressful on their

630
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: body physically, on their lack of emotions, and the types

631
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: of partners they attract into their experience are not going

632
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 1: to suit them. They're attracting people who don't align with

633
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 1: their core energy. What kind of what do you mean

634
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,879
Speaker 1: by that? Like what they would attract what? So let's

635
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: say that you're in work mode. Yeah, uh, most of

636
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: the day, you're going, you're doing, you're doing great and

637
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 1: you can do an amazing job at it. But that

638
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 1: energy that you're giving out of being the structure, the leader,

639
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 1: the go getter, the one that's accomplishing things, the decision maker,

640
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: you attract into your experience what we would call the

641
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: energetic reciprocal which means that you would be calling in

642
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: a more feminine type of man, not feminine and like

643
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: he acts feminine, feminine and like he his emotions might

644
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,879
Speaker 1: you all over the place. He's not really sure where

645
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 1: he's headed. He's just kind of going with the flow

646
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 1: of things, like you know. So, because that's what polarity is.

647
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 1: Polarity is a balance between masculine feminine energy, or some

648
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: people call it yin and yong energy. That's what attracts

649
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 1: people or into an experience, and that's where when you

650
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,760
Speaker 1: meet someone you get that like spark. It's because there

651
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 1: might be a moment right there of masculine feminine energy.

652
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 1: That's the spark. But if your core is feminine and

653
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 1: you're living the majority of your day in your masculine

654
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: then you're not going to get the energetic reciprocal that's

655
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: actually good for you because what you're using the words

656
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,719
Speaker 1: energetic reciprocal, though because like I actually think that I've

657
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: been in situations where I've drawn in a guy who

658
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:50,880
Speaker 1: looks masculine on the outside and like maybe even would

659
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: would say he's got a masculine core or whatever. But

660
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: when you just described it, it clicked for me of like, oh,

661
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: it's the flighty emotions. It's the not like kind of

662
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: not having a direction, like going from one thing to

663
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 1: the next very chaotically, and like I don't I don't

664
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:10,239
Speaker 1: like equate a chaotic energy to a masculine like or

665
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 1: a person in their masculine in a in a whatever,

666
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 1: healthy masculine How do you say it? Yeah, no, that's right.

667
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: But that's the thing, is the outside appearance. Like you

668
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 1: can see a woman who's who looks beautiful and she's

669
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 1: an address in her hair and her is done, but

670
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 1: she is not carrying feminine energy. She is carrying masculine energy.

671
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: And to a masculine man that is it's like to like, oh,

672
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 1: what I I want to say, Like magnets like they're

673
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 1: not going to come together, they're come apart because they're

674
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 1: not energetically balanced. Yeah you know, so you can look

675
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 1: the part and not carry that energy. Yeah, Okay, it's

676
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,720
Speaker 1: really interesting. I just know something that like I remember

677
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: having a moment when I'm starting to learn about it,

678
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: and I was like, wow, this is such a big deal.

679
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: It's like if you see two men fighting in a

680
00:37:56,680 --> 00:38:00,920
Speaker 1: bar room, that's that's feminine energy because it's not a

681
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: grounded they're not grounded in their emotions. They're chaotic in

682
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:07,800
Speaker 1: their emotions. They can't stand there and deal with an emotion.

683
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 1: They're punching and they're throwing just so a man thinking

684
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: that he's displaying this like big bad, like tough guy,

685
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 1: you're actually he's actually in his feminine He's in his

686
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 1: wild feminine in that moment because he's being chaotic. Yes,

687
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 1: and another one and actually learned this at the conference

688
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: that I would see with you guys. But like that

689
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 1: whole like oh, boys will be boys and they're just

690
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 1: so like like just that sexual energy just spewing everywhere

691
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 1: and like going after multiple women or whatever. That looks

692
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 1: like like I think that gets written off a lot

693
00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 1: of times. It's like just I'm just super masculine, I'm

694
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 1: a dude whatever. Whatever, that's just what da That's just

695
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: what dudes? Do you know? That's like my pet peeve

696
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 1: um I think I talked about that on the last podcast.

697
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,760
Speaker 1: But to me, and now that you're saying that, I'm like, wait,

698
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 1: that's actually not it. Like the masculine is like a

699
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:06,840
Speaker 1: true grounded he can hold his energy in a sacred

700
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 1: way and not like spew it out everywhere. That's like

701
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 1: the flighty nous and all that stuff, and the inconsistency

702
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:17,359
Speaker 1: like that is not masculine. Are being connected to your

703
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,320
Speaker 1: true divine masculine if we go a little deeper and

704
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: get a little bit more complex, because there's a balance,

705
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 1: there's all there's light and dark everywhere in the world.

706
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 1: So within divine feminine energy, divine masculine energy, all those

707
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:36,280
Speaker 1: beautiful parts, there's also wounded aspects of that. So masculine

708
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: wounded masculine energy would be a man or a person

709
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: with a masculine core that's kind of just spewing their

710
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 1: stuff everywhere, and and but we make excuses for that.

711
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,720
Speaker 1: And that's the thing is, it's more of a wounded aspect.

712
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 1: It's a shadow aspect of that energetic and energy. Okay,

713
00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: so it could be operating from a masculine place, but

714
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: it's the wounded masculine not right, It's more of a

715
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: wounded mask and just like we could bounce over to

716
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 1: the feminine side and like drama. Like women who engage

717
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: in a lot of drama or are very um, they

718
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 1: compare themselves to other women all the time, Like that's

719
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 1: more of a wounded aspect of feminine energy. Yeah, which

720
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 1: is where I was probably operating from when I drew

721
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 1: in these other energies. Perhaps it just depends on that's

722
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,839
Speaker 1: that's the interesting thing. I think this, this type of

723
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 1: work has changed everything in my life. Learning about it

724
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: and then realizing what I was giving out into the world.

725
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 1: It's helped. It's funny because indulging in my feminine energy

726
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 1: has helped me so much in my business, yeah, just

727
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 1: my romantic relationship. It's helped me in my friendships. It's

728
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:49,760
Speaker 1: made me feel more connected to myself because I feel

729
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 1: better when I allow myself to operate more in my

730
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 1: feminine energy. It has to be intentional at first, because

731
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,879
Speaker 1: there might be women listening to this now and they're like, well,

732
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 1: I like being a businesswoman and I like And that's

733
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 1: the thing is, you can do anything you want to do,

734
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,400
Speaker 1: but it's more about what it feels like to you.

735
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: If you're If you're tense and tight and rigid and

736
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: short fused, then you've been operating in an energy that

737
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 1: isn't aligning with you. And usually you're living in the mind.

738
00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 1: So the thought of getting out of the mind and

739
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 1: not accomplishing something feels foreign, even though it's natural. Just

740
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 1: we just haven't worked that muscle out in a really

741
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,480
Speaker 1: long time. Yeah, So you mentioned that the perception of

742
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: the feminine energy is kind of weak, and so how

743
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:41,040
Speaker 1: do we switch that narrative? And like, what does someone

744
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 1: and you kind of talked about this a little bit,

745
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 1: but like when you're getting in touch with your true

746
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: feminine what has it looked like for you? I mean

747
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 1: you just said it's helped you in your business and

748
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 1: your relationships, Like what does it look like? Because it's

749
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: opened my creativity and it's opened my flow and the

750
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: flow of money is feminine. So in so in business,

751
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 1: if someone feels like they're blocking money, it's because they're

752
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 1: not in the flow of money. Does that make sense?

753
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: So first I had to learn what feminine energy really

754
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 1: was and I judged it just like most people do. Oh, well,

755
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 1: open my heart, but then somebody can hurt my heart.

756
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 1: But what connected to that healing energy is this powerful

757
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 1: center with and it's called our intuition. And our intuition

758
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: really those gut feelings that we all get, but they

759
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: happen quick and we bypass them and we bring them

760
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: up to our logical mind, and so we're actually safe

761
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 1: in our feminine energy. But we have to learn how

762
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: to reconnect to our intuition to honor the gut feelings.

763
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: And that's why I teach so much movement because I

764
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 1: feel like movement helps you learn to trust what it

765
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: feels like to be in your body because you need

766
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:01,320
Speaker 1: that connection first. And it's again, it's not going to

767
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 1: feel totally naturally. Beginning, you're going to judge in your

768
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 1: say this is stupid and what am I doing this for?

769
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:09,919
Speaker 1: I could be like finishing this work. And but if

770
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 1: you do this with the intention to open up and

771
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 1: to try it to see what it feels like, then

772
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: I promise that you will crack open. It just depends

773
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 1: on your willingness to let go of control. We want

774
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 1: to have control over everything in our life, and feminine

775
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:30,280
Speaker 1: movement or feminine energy is letting go of that control

776
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 1: and welcoming in the flow and letting life lead you

777
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 1: and feeling guided more by your heart center and by

778
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 1: your intuition. Your intuition and your body has a reaction

779
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:49,320
Speaker 1: to things way before your brain does. Oh my god, completely.

780
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 1: My body always knows to accept it. Yes, but it's

781
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: normally not the answer that we'd like it to be.

782
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: And so that's why we bring it up to our brain.

783
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 1: Because if we meet someone who we think is cute

784
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: and our bodies like this isn't a good thing for you,

785
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 1: and bring it up to the brain and be like, oh,

786
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: I could figure this out and here you, but I'll

787
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,720
Speaker 1: just keep it casual. But you know, we just there's

788
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:19,760
Speaker 1: so many beautiful aspects to feminine energy. I've just found

789
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 1: what worked for me is movement first, because then you

790
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: have that aha moment of well, I feel very powerful

791
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 1: right now, and all I did was move my body

792
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 1: for a couple of minutes. I feel like I'm not

793
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 1: afraid of anything. I feel very open, I feel very connected,

794
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: I feel very aware of things around me, so I

795
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 1: don't feel That's why you don't feel afraid of things

796
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: is because you are energetically open to feel a yes

797
00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: or a no, not think through the yes and the no. Yeah,

798
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: I think that's what I am finally connecting to, because

799
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,280
Speaker 1: I was saying this to you before we started the podcast.

800
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 1: But like I did all the thing therapy work, you know,

801
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: for a decade, I've been doing this kind of work,

802
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:07,760
Speaker 1: and it was needed and needed to understand my past

803
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 1: and heal from a lot of trauma and understand the

804
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,800
Speaker 1: dynamics and my family and in all of these things.

805
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: But it kept me very stuck in my mind and

806
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: so like as a person with this feminine core, it

807
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 1: was very it has been very difficult for me to

808
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:28,240
Speaker 1: marry all of that knowledge into the actions of my life,

809
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: Like does that make sense? Like it was like I

810
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 1: knew it all, Like I logically could even know why

811
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: my last relationship wasn't working. I knew it, but I

812
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 1: could not connect to like, Okay, my body doesn't feel

813
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,560
Speaker 1: is feeling all these things in my mind knows this

814
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 1: stuff logically, but it wasn't Like I wasn't able to

815
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 1: actually take next right steps in my own life because

816
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 1: they weren't connected because I wasn't connected like I was.

817
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 1: It was just so much disconnection constantly that I was

818
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 1: just all over the place constantly, you trying to rationalize,

819
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,399
Speaker 1: like you're saying in my head and then stayed way

820
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:05,839
Speaker 1: longer than I actually should have for either of us.

821
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't it wasn't good for anybody. So, um,

822
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: what I'm feeling now and a lot of times, like

823
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 1: I told you earlier, it's like I'd literally just put

824
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 1: on a song and I'd dance around my house for

825
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: three minutes, and it puts me in this place of like, okay,

826
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 1: like I feel in my body this calm for me.

827
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 1: It gets sort of anxiety a lot, like that's the

828
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 1: thing that it releases. And I do feel because I

829
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 1: feel more calm, then I don't feel so scared and

830
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 1: fearful to make the next move or to go out

831
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: in the world, or to not have to figure everything

832
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,240
Speaker 1: out right in that minute. But it's because of simple

833
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 1: things like literally moving my hips to a dance. It's

834
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: energy we were working around the world, like the stagnant energy,

835
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: and if we have if things were backed up or

836
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 1: we got these blocks, then there's no room for flow. Yeah,

837
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:02,800
Speaker 1: there's really no room for that at all. And it

838
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:08,120
Speaker 1: affects your health, it affects your relationships, It can affect

839
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:10,719
Speaker 1: so many different areas of your life. If you're just

840
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 1: operating only from one energy or the other. And one

841
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 1: of the best things that I can suggest anyone who's

842
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 1: kind of would like to open up to exploring more

843
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 1: about feminine is to take a long look at your

844
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 1: relationship with masculine energy, meaning Dad's boyfriends. Where do you

845
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 1: Where did you have like some toxicity or you didn't

846
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 1: feel safe in that environment that you grew up in.

847
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,799
Speaker 1: Because a lot of times that's why we operate from

848
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 1: masculine energy too, is because we lived in an environment

849
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: or we had experiences where masculine energy wasn't safe for us,

850
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 1: and so in order for us to deal with that,

851
00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 1: we had to what what I would say is like

852
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 1: animate our own Does that make sense completely? So that's

853
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,879
Speaker 1: usually with the conditioning of the world and then our

854
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: first experiences with masculine energy. Those are the two main

855
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 1: things that keep us that prevent us from allowing ourselves

856
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 1: to try to come over to feminine energy and see

857
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:18,399
Speaker 1: what that's all about and see if that works for us.

858
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:23,600
Speaker 1: So you did all this work, and you kind of

859
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 1: created these own programmings yourself, and so now you said

860
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 1: this has helped you to even create your own business,

861
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 1: and essentially to thrive a lot more. So talk us

862
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: through some of the things that you're doing now. One

863
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: of the things that I that started this for me

864
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: is when I started movement. I don't know how long

865
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: it was into there. I started putting together things that

866
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: my body needed that I felt like really opened me

867
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: up to my feminine energy. Because let me remind you,

868
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: it doesn't It might not just be dancing for someone.

869
00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: It might be nature. It might be that we have

870
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 1: a unique connection to our feminine energy. And discovering what

871
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: cracks you open is one of the most important things.

872
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 1: We tried it. We see a girl, you know, dancing

873
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 1: on a pole and she's like, I've never felt more

874
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,719
Speaker 1: feminine in my life. So we do that, but that's

875
00:49:14,760 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: not what cracks us over. So be open to explore things.

876
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 1: Mine just happened to be movement, and I feel very

877
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 1: passionate about it um and I think it's important for

878
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 1: everybody to try. So I put together something for myself

879
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 1: and it was what I needed. It was breathing and stretching,

880
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 1: and then I was very hard on my body. I

881
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: had not a healthy relationship with my body growing up,

882
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: and so I took time to touch my body and

883
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 1: to say thank you, I love you, like thank you

884
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 1: to my legs, thank you to my belly, thank you

885
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 1: to my arms, because constantly beating up your body gets

886
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 1: you nowhere. And so I, with an intention to connect

887
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 1: and open up my body, I would say thank you,

888
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,520
Speaker 1: I love you. Then I wanted to just be that

889
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 1: wild feminine and I did some put tribal music on

890
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:01,440
Speaker 1: and drums and i' are to just like letting myself

891
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,840
Speaker 1: wing around the house and have a good time. And

892
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 1: then I brought myself into a grounded state of taking

893
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 1: all of that and just letting that flow happen in

894
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:16,320
Speaker 1: my body. And I created a movement class called Connection

895
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: and Flow. And I can remember the first time I

896
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,760
Speaker 1: ever taught it on my Instagram Live. I was so

897
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,360
Speaker 1: nervous if it was going to work for people and

898
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,920
Speaker 1: if they liked it. And fast forward that was like

899
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 1: two years later, and I teach it at I've taught

900
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: it at live events. And I have a program women's

901
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 1: program called UM the Radiant Woman, which is an online

902
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,840
Speaker 1: course that helps women get into their bodies and to

903
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 1: connect to their feminine energy. And there's teachings all around that,

904
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 1: but then there's also guided meditations and womb healing and

905
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: then connection and flow classes, so you get this well

906
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 1: rounded version of what feminine energy is and how to

907
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 1: connect to that deeper self love, how to connect to

908
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 1: your body, how to experience intimacy with yourself, because in

909
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: order for us to go deeper in a relationship, we

910
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 1: really have to be willing to go deep within ourselves first. Yeah,

911
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: and I also teach a Jake. I mean, I feel

912
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 1: like I'm doing so many awesome things, you know, because

913
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 1: being in the relationship with him has taught us so

914
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 1: much that we want to share with the world too.

915
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,799
Speaker 1: So lots of different things that are going on, and

916
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,880
Speaker 1: it's all I'm also grateful, you know that I'm able

917
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 1: to bring that out into the world. And to circle

918
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: back to what we started this podcast talking about your

919
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 1: music and singing, like we did that workshop in Dallas.

920
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 1: I've told you guys about this, the conference that Jake

921
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: and Melissa put on. This was back in January, and um,

922
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: you would lead these connection and flow sessions, which were

923
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,840
Speaker 1: my favor They ended up being my favorite part of

924
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:53,880
Speaker 1: the whole thing because again, it would just it grounds

925
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 1: me and it very much would open me up to

926
00:51:55,960 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 1: whatever else we were doing that day in a different

927
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 1: way than I probably could have shown up, you know otherwise, Um,

928
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,239
Speaker 1: but you would also sing through that. And so I

929
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 1: thought it was so cool because you and I were

930
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,160
Speaker 1: talking at dinner that night and you were saying, like,

931
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: it's so interesting because I was so focused on like

932
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 1: driving the bus to have this successful music career and

933
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 1: like what that would look like. And I was on

934
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,880
Speaker 1: American Idol and I wanted a record deal and just

935
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 1: all of that. And then now look at how the

936
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:27,200
Speaker 1: universe is using that same skill set to produce something

937
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: completely different that can go out and help people in

938
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:32,359
Speaker 1: a totally different way. And I just think it's so

939
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:35,400
Speaker 1: cool to watch it. The skill set you have still

940
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 1: be utilized. Like I think we like again get put

941
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 1: in these boxes of like this is how that skill

942
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 1: set has to be used or utilized, and you've been

943
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: You're such a great example of how it can shift

944
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 1: if we just stay open and like we don't actually

945
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 1: know it's. Yeah, you have to open yourself up to

946
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:56,279
Speaker 1: see to see that you know what you love to

947
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,719
Speaker 1: do most people do, or you're on a journey to

948
00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 1: discover more of what you like to do or what

949
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:06,000
Speaker 1: makes you feel good, but the avenue of working within

950
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 1: music business wasn't going to be good for me. I

951
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 1: can really see that now, but at the time, you know,

952
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 1: I was really like pushing and forcing and trying it,

953
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 1: but it wasn't the right environment for me. So letting

954
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 1: completely go of that and just seeing what shows up

955
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:25,319
Speaker 1: for me, you know it it opened up so many

956
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,399
Speaker 1: new doors and I was like, I know, I love this,

957
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 1: I'm not really sure what I want to do with

958
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 1: it yet, so I'm just gonna start doing things that

959
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 1: feel good and utilize the things going on in my

960
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 1: life to discover what I want to bring more of

961
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:42,759
Speaker 1: into the world. Yeah, and so now you also offer

962
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 1: your own sessions. What are you seeing with like the

963
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 1: women coming to you wanting to work on this stuff?

964
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 1: What are some of the things that a lot of

965
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 1: the women are bumping up against when they come to you.

966
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: I think one of the biggest things is women who

967
00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 1: have worked a long time on building careers and focusing

968
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 1: a lot more on doing everything perfect and being everything

969
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 1: for everybody and over giving themselves that they've reached a

970
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 1: point of burnout and they're not really sure what to

971
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 1: do from here. Their their marriage, maybe isn't going well,

972
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:24,879
Speaker 1: or they've divorced, their kids have moved out of the house. Um,

973
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 1: and they're like, well, I've never done anything for myself

974
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:29,960
Speaker 1: in the past, you know, twenty years of my life,

975
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 1: or I don't. I don't even know what to do

976
00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:34,319
Speaker 1: with my body. I don't even know if I am

977
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: sexual or sensual. I don't know if you know, I'm

978
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,520
Speaker 1: not sure what to do with my life because their

979
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:43,799
Speaker 1: life has been about everybody else for so long, you know,

980
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 1: the way, like us women, we want to appear to

981
00:54:46,840 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 1: have it all together and this pressure to be all

982
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 1: of us be like each other, but then we're not.

983
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: How boring is that? Like, we're not we're not allowing

984
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:01,840
Speaker 1: ourselves to really bring forth our gifts because everybody has

985
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 1: something to bring into the world or multiple some things.

986
00:55:05,239 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 1: Your purpose changes as you grow, or it grows with you.

987
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 1: It's one or the other, you know. And I think

988
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:15,880
Speaker 1: that most of the time it's a woman operating so

989
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,479
Speaker 1: much from her masculine energy that everything in her life

990
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 1: is really suffering and and she's set up with it.

991
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,880
Speaker 1: I mean it really, to be totally honest, It's like,

992
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:28,040
Speaker 1: I know, I'm fighting with my husband, I'm fighting with

993
00:55:28,080 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: my boyfriend, or I'm attracting these these men that I

994
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: don't want to be with, but I don't understand what

995
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:37,799
Speaker 1: I'm doing wrong. And then once we start realizing that

996
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 1: there's a lot of shame lodged in the womb, or

997
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,720
Speaker 1: there's a lot of walls built around the heart center,

998
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:47,480
Speaker 1: you know, all of the things that make them feminine

999
00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 1: at the core is all blocked off. So what I

1000
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: do is I move them around in ways that I

1001
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: feel called to, and then we try to get all

1002
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,879
Speaker 1: those emotions been out so that we can start seeing

1003
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 1: what's really in there, what's really going on, and how

1004
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 1: they can connect back to themselves because a lot of

1005
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:10,880
Speaker 1: us have really lost what I call our woman nous,

1006
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:15,880
Speaker 1: lost what it means to be naturally in our feminine

1007
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 1: because it's like that's the weakness. I don't want to

1008
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:22,479
Speaker 1: look weak, but it is really our superpower, and that's

1009
00:56:23,120 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: what you know. My goal is to really help women realize. Yeah,

1010
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,879
Speaker 1: I was laughing because that was exactly how my life

1011
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: played out, the burnout, the crash and burn you know,

1012
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:36,160
Speaker 1: and I wish I had known about you then, but

1013
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you are bringing this knowledge to women,

1014
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 1: and also like I think the word that keeps coming

1015
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 1: to my mind is just empowering because it doesn't need

1016
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,439
Speaker 1: to feel weak, like this is actually, like I said,

1017
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 1: the strongest I have felt within myself. Um, and knowing

1018
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:57,560
Speaker 1: that like it's just the uniqueness that you just described,

1019
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 1: even that is your superpower like you said, and just

1020
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 1: like not trying to fit in the mold that works

1021
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: for everyone else because it doesn't work for me, like

1022
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't. And I think it's like a gift that

1023
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:11,080
Speaker 1: the things that I was trying kind of fell apart

1024
00:57:11,280 --> 00:57:14,799
Speaker 1: because now I can actually tap into what truly does

1025
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 1: line up and what my unique gifts actually can bring

1026
00:57:17,880 --> 00:57:22,800
Speaker 1: to the table. Isn't that it is? But I was

1027
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 1: trying so long to to do things that I saw

1028
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 1: work for other people, you know, like they're doing that successfully.

1029
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 1: I want to be successful. So I'm gonna like model

1030
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,160
Speaker 1: my life after that. I have somewhat of that skill set,

1031
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 1: so here I can do that. But it wasn't me. Yeah,

1032
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 1: and it will never bring you the fulfillment that oh

1033
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 1: it's exhausting you think it is, you know, or that

1034
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 1: you think it's going to do. You're the only person

1035
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 1: that can bring you into the world. And that's the

1036
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:51,479
Speaker 1: reason why you're here, is to bring forth what makes

1037
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 1: you you, you know, And so if you're trying to

1038
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: if you're there's already like one of this person and

1039
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 1: one of that person. So if you're trying to just

1040
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: bring that, like copy that and bring it, then you're

1041
00:58:01,600 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 1: never truly shining like forth your own light into the world.

1042
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:07,800
Speaker 1: And that's what I feel like we need more of,

1043
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: is people learning how to connect more to themselves and

1044
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:18,680
Speaker 1: to embrace their unique gifts or embrace what makes them them. Yes,

1045
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 1: I mean we're all walking around looking like the same woman,

1046
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:23,080
Speaker 1: trying to have the same body and trying to wear

1047
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 1: the same clothes. You know. I think all of that

1048
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 1: fashion and all that's so great, but we're we're dimming

1049
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 1: our light, trying to force ourselves to be something that

1050
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 1: we're not. Oh yeah, I could go on a hold,

1051
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 1: that's a whole another pot. Well. I just love you

1052
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:45,000
Speaker 1: so much and I love what you're bringing. And I

1053
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: also want to tell you guys that Melissa does have

1054
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 1: a podcast. I was listening this morning. I love this

1055
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 1: new episode with um is It. It was called something

1056
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 1: about like is he right for you? Or and you

1057
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 1: gave out all of these questions to ask yourself. And

1058
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 1: I actually think that you could apply to many different

1059
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 1: areas of your life, like you know, asking yourself about

1060
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 1: work or whatever you're feeling really disconnected from, because all

1061
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 1: it was doing was just really highlighting again the values

1062
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 1: and the things that are you bringing your true self

1063
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:17,640
Speaker 1: to this situation? Are you allowed to? And I thought

1064
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 1: the checklist was so it was so helpful to me

1065
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 1: because again it validated like some situations that aren't in

1066
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 1: my life anymore, being like they weren't in alignment. That's

1067
00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: why they would never work. Nobody has to be bad,

1068
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:31,840
Speaker 1: nothing has to be bad. It's just like out of alignment.

1069
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:35,360
Speaker 1: And UM, okay, So tell people about the heart on podcast.

1070
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 1: That's the that's the most recent one, but there's a

1071
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 1: ton of different content on this podcast. It's amazing. Thank you. Yeah,

1072
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 1: the heart on UM. I think there's like hundred forty

1073
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 1: episodes now. The newest one was called UM is he

1074
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 1: good for you? Okay? And it's just giving you clarity

1075
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:56,680
Speaker 1: around maybe what you're already feeling but you're just afraid

1076
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:59,480
Speaker 1: to realize it. UM. Because I think that if you're

1077
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:01,880
Speaker 1: confused about the way you feel about someone or you're

1078
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 1: confused about how they feel about you. Then there's something

1079
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 1: that's off, there's something that's not quite in alignment, or

1080
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 1: something that needs to be talked about. So we I

1081
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 1: cover every angle as far as healing stuff, feminine, masculine energies,

1082
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:21,240
Speaker 1: connecting to your sexuality, UM, relationships, anything that I really

1083
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 1: feel called to talk about on the show, or things

1084
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 1: that I do a lot of question and answers um

1085
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: based upon you know, Instagram and emails and things like that.

1086
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:33,080
Speaker 1: I love do love doing this show. I do. I

1087
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 1: love doing my show. Really, it's such a podcasting is

1088
01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 1: such a beautiful space to connect with people and also

1089
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 1: just share about what you've learned. I just I love it.

1090
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 1: That's why I'm just here do the solo thing. I

1091
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 1: struggle there, like I need the energy of another person

1092
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 1: to kind of maybe it's just go through the conversation

1093
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,040
Speaker 1: or anything like that. Um. But yeah, I'm so impressed

1094
01:00:58,080 --> 01:01:00,200
Speaker 1: by both you and Jake because you'll do a full

1095
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 1: of podcasts and just telling people what you're learning and

1096
01:01:02,560 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 1: it's so helpful. But I can I literally like when

1097
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:08,440
Speaker 1: I said to do it, I'm like, uh, my brain

1098
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 1: goes dead. Or something. I don't know, but you feel

1099
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: into it, Kelly, you don't. And I walked. I walked

1100
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 1: down the street and just talk. So yeah, maybe I

1101
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 1: need to practice that. I don't know. It's just I feel,

1102
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: at least in my perspective, like I like to work

1103
01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:29,200
Speaker 1: things out by speaking out loud, and so for a

1104
01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:33,120
Speaker 1: long time I was nervous about doing that, So whyet

1105
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,480
Speaker 1: And so the more I do it now, I don't.

1106
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 1: I don't really even think about it. I just kind

1107
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 1: of talk and see what shows up and share, you know,

1108
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:43,920
Speaker 1: how I feel about things and what's been going on

1109
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:47,640
Speaker 1: in you know, my life or my relationship, or how

1110
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 1: I can just guide others towards feeling a little bit

1111
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 1: better in their own life. I don't know. It's just

1112
01:01:55,040 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 1: I love that. I just love the podcast space. I

1113
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 1: think it's pretty magical if you allow it to be.

1114
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 1: I think could do a solo episode, I do a couple,

1115
01:02:03,240 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 1: but maybe me letting go again, you know, that might

1116
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:09,680
Speaker 1: be what it is. Is We're thinking what this needs

1117
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:12,560
Speaker 1: to be is some people just really enjoy you. And

1118
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 1: this is what happened this week, and this is a

1119
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:17,120
Speaker 1: story about X, Y and Z and this is how

1120
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:19,600
Speaker 1: I feel about it. I don't know. I think it

1121
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 1: would be cool. I think I think you should at

1122
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:25,880
Speaker 1: least consider because remember, like let's go all the way

1123
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 1: back to the beginning, you're never going to be ready

1124
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 1: to do anything. I mean, that's how this whole thing

1125
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 1: started for me. I got this podcast. Like the head

1126
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 1: of my network was like, you should do a podcast.

1127
01:02:37,640 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 1: Would you want to be on this network? And I

1128
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 1: was like, oh no, no, no, no, I can't do

1129
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,040
Speaker 1: a podcast. And he finally convinced me. And then it

1130
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: literally took me like three months to sit down and

1131
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:50,320
Speaker 1: record my first episode because I couldn't. I was like

1132
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:53,440
Speaker 1: wanting the perfect episode, and he finally was like, you

1133
01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:55,840
Speaker 1: just have to do it. You just have to do it,

1134
01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:57,880
Speaker 1: and you learn as you go with this stuff. But

1135
01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,560
Speaker 1: letting go of like not having it figure it out

1136
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 1: before I did it was a really difficult thing. And

1137
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,000
Speaker 1: the truth was is I just got so much better

1138
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 1: as I did it. Like they said, you just have

1139
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 1: to start, You just have to You just have to start.

1140
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:12,080
Speaker 1: Jake used to say to me, I remember when I

1141
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 1: started the podcast, I was doing the same thing, like overthinking,

1142
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: like I've stuttered, and I think that this didn't come

1143
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 1: out fast enough, and he's like, Melissa, good is good enough?

1144
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:24,440
Speaker 1: Just get it out there, and I'm like, you're like

1145
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 1: perfect scared but it is. But that's the thing. It's

1146
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 1: the only way you learn how to do things is

1147
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:35,040
Speaker 1: just like yeah, I getn't. Well, thank you so much

1148
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 1: for being here. I love talking to you. Like we

1149
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:39,640
Speaker 1: said earlier, we could talk forever. So I will try

1150
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 1: to keep this in a time limit for you guys listening,

1151
01:03:42,040 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 1: but tell the people listening where they can go find you,

1152
01:03:44,160 --> 01:03:46,640
Speaker 1: and especially if they want to reach out about diving

1153
01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 1: deeper into their own work with the feminine. Absolutely, my

1154
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 1: last name is really long, so I will spell it,

1155
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:55,400
Speaker 1: but maybe you could throw it in the show. I'll

1156
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:59,240
Speaker 1: put it in the description to Yes. My Instagram is

1157
01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:07,200
Speaker 1: Melissa Underscore Scambalauri. So Rettie, it's s G A M

1158
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 1: B E L L. You are I first time I

1159
01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:17,760
Speaker 1: met you, I was like, Melissa's okay, I'm so used

1160
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,920
Speaker 1: to it, and it's the same for the website is

1161
01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 1: just Melissa Scambalaori dot com and that's where you can

1162
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 1: check out some of the I have, um, you know,

1163
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:30,040
Speaker 1: my Radiant Woman course, which is a great jump start

1164
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:33,360
Speaker 1: to feminine Energy, or if you're just looking to reconnect

1165
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 1: and learn a little bit more and then the podcast

1166
01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 1: and I'm around you know. Yeah, you guys, the connection

1167
01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 1: flows if you do have some stuff on your Instagram too,

1168
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 1: So if you wanted to go test that out, Um,

1169
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,160
Speaker 1: people can go try that because it can feel kind

1170
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:50,959
Speaker 1: of silly at first, but I do encourage you guys

1171
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 1: to go do it seriously. It is like one of

1172
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:55,520
Speaker 1: the most screening things. Like I told you earlier, I

1173
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:58,200
Speaker 1: have literally gotten in the habit of doing a dance

1174
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:00,880
Speaker 1: break at least once a day, and it shifts my

1175
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:03,280
Speaker 1: whole day every time. Like I was kind of spiraling

1176
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,680
Speaker 1: in something yesterday and I was like I would Melissa

1177
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:08,240
Speaker 1: told me to dance, So I'm gonna dance just how

1178
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:11,920
Speaker 1: I love Yea, it help. It shifts everything and then

1179
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:13,480
Speaker 1: I can get out of my head and keep going.

1180
01:05:13,920 --> 01:05:16,640
Speaker 1: And that's the whole purpose of movement is to get

1181
01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 1: out of your head and get into your body so

1182
01:05:18,920 --> 01:05:21,360
Speaker 1: that you can feel more empowered to take on the

1183
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:25,120
Speaker 1: rest of the day. Yeah, there you go. I'm so proud.

1184
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 1: That's amazing. Thank you, well, you guys. Go check out

1185
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:31,760
Speaker 1: Melissa's scandal Loorie at all of the I'm gonna put

1186
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,320
Speaker 1: all of her notes in the description of this podcast,

1187
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 1: so you guys can just click through there. Um. But again,

1188
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:38,880
Speaker 1: thank you so much and we'll do this again. We

1189
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 1: got to catch up again. I would love that. And

1190
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:43,600
Speaker 1: thank you for having me. This is a lot of fun,

1191
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:45,640
Speaker 1: all right. Thank you guys for listening.