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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. And you never know,

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Speaker 1: this one could be yours. It could be yours. Buckle

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Speaker 1: up and hold on tight. We got it from all

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Speaker 1: you here. It is Strawberry Letter subject to the Kitchen

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Speaker 1: and the Bedroom. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty seven

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Speaker 1: year old man and I'm married to a forty two

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Speaker 1: year old woman that I've known for twelve years. We

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Speaker 1: got married after we've been apart for about five years.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to let her go again, so I

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Speaker 1: rushed in. Before we got back together, I dated a

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Speaker 1: great businesswoman that was the total package. She was a

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Speaker 1: great cook and she held it down as a small

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Speaker 1: business owner. She looked good and smelled good all of

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Speaker 1: the time. She set the bar really high as far

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Speaker 1: as dating goes. But she didn't want to be married,

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Speaker 1: so we ended up growing apart. I rebound it back

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Speaker 1: to what was familiar and who I was comfortable with.

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Speaker 1: The problem is that she's way too comfy with everything.

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Speaker 1: My wife is not the woman I met years ago.

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Speaker 1: She's a bit of a slob now, and I heard

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Speaker 1: her on the phone with her mom a few days

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Speaker 1: ago saying that I love her unconditionally and will drink

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Speaker 1: her bathwater if she asked me too. She's so wrong

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Speaker 1: about that. I'm falling out of love with her and

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Speaker 1: starting to feel stuck. She's got an outstanding body and

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Speaker 1: she knows it. She thinks she's putting it on me

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom, but it's always sloppy and all over

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Speaker 1: the place. I just want to make love to my

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Speaker 1: wife every once in a while, but she's on some

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Speaker 1: freaky stuff all of the time. I want home cooked

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Speaker 1: meals that I don't always have to cook, and she

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Speaker 1: told me that she no longer enjoys cooking, and we

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Speaker 1: need to get a meal prep delivered or or her

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Speaker 1: mom can cook for us occasionally. She must think I'm

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Speaker 1: a fool if she cannot meet my basic nief in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen and the bedroom. Why am I in this?

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Speaker 1: I'm a Christian and I don't believe in divorce, but

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Speaker 1: I can't keep doing this. How can I fix my

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Speaker 1: failing marriage before it's too late? Okay, I'm just a

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Speaker 1: bit confused about what exactly you want. I mean, you're

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Speaker 1: complaining about everything. Well, one of the main things is

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Speaker 1: the bedroom action, because you put that in your title.

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Speaker 1: You're saying she can't please you. But she wants it

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Speaker 1: all the time and you only want it every once

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Speaker 1: in a while. There's a problem there. You know, first

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Speaker 1: of all, you gotta have an obvious, honest conversation with

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Speaker 1: her about your concerns. You've got to communicate with her,

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Speaker 1: just like you told Steve and I. You've got to

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Speaker 1: let your wife know what's on your mind. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you owe to yourself, you owe to your wife, You

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Speaker 1: owe to your marriage, and don't let her go around

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Speaker 1: thinking she's got it going on and but you think

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Speaker 1: she's missing it. I mean, that's not good, and that's

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Speaker 1: on you. The kitchen in the bedroom are important to you,

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Speaker 1: and you're not getting what you want, which is only

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Speaker 1: once in a while. But you're complaining because she wants

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Speaker 1: it all the time. You're probably boastitting up. They're frustrated.

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Speaker 1: I say, you know, when you do talk to her

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Speaker 1: be careful how you say what you say, because you

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Speaker 1: could really end up hurting your wife's feelings. If you're

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable with doing this, get some sort of counseling because

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Speaker 1: your marriage is in trouble and you need to start

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Speaker 1: looking at some serious solutions. You said you're a Christian

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Speaker 1: who doesn't believe in divorce. Let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: Christians get divorced every single day, every day, you know,

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason for cheating. Christians cheat all of that,

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Speaker 1: all of those things. You're asking, how can you fix

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Speaker 1: your failing marriage before it's too late. You got to

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Speaker 1: fix yourself, You gotta fix these things together. So again,

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Speaker 1: I suggest counseling therapy. You know you're staying in this

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Speaker 1: and you're not happy and she may not be happy either.

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Speaker 1: Where you are right now. It can lead to cheating,

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Speaker 1: It can lead to resentment, disrespect, distance, all those things,

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Speaker 1: and before you know it, you'll be a divorced Christian

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Speaker 1: if you don't decide what you're gonna do and try

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Speaker 1: to fix it now. Steve, Yeah, great response, Sherley. This

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Speaker 1: marriage is over, This is a rap. You ain't fixing

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Speaker 1: this one. This one is not salvageable. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: read you. This is a man who wrote this letter,

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Speaker 1: and I am going to show you why this letter

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Speaker 1: ain't going. First of all, when a man get down

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Speaker 1: to writing, he already done. He just needs to hear

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Speaker 1: some other opinions. So listen to this forty seven year

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Speaker 1: old man married to a forty two year old woman

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Speaker 1: he's known for twelve years. We got married after we

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Speaker 1: had been a part five years. This is critical to

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Speaker 1: the letter. They had been a part for five years years.

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Speaker 1: A lot can happen in five years, and a lot

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Speaker 1: of changes can happen in five years. I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: this marriage is over. I didn't want to let her

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Speaker 1: go again, so I rushed in before we before we

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Speaker 1: got back together. Now I rushed in before we got

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Speaker 1: back together. Here your problem. I dated a great businesswoman

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Speaker 1: that was the total package. She was a great cook,

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Speaker 1: she held it down as a small business owner. She

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Speaker 1: looked good and smelled good all the time. She set

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Speaker 1: the bar really far as high as dating goals. But

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Speaker 1: she didn't want to be married, so we ended up

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Speaker 1: growing apart. This I will show you later on in

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Speaker 1: the letter why this is the whole problem. This is

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Speaker 1: why this marriage is doomed because in the five years

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Speaker 1: that they were apart, this is what and who he

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Speaker 1: got involved with, and this is how he felt during

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Speaker 1: the five year period they were apart. This is the

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Speaker 1: description of what this man was doing. I dated a

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Speaker 1: great businesswoman that was the total package. Great cook, she

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Speaker 1: held it down as a business owner. She looked good

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Speaker 1: and smelled good all the time. She set the bar

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Speaker 1: really far as high as dating goals. She just didn't

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Speaker 1: want to be married. So we ended up going part Then,

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Speaker 1: he said, I rebounded back to what was familiar and

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Speaker 1: who I was comfortable with. And the problem is she's

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Speaker 1: way too comfortable with everything. Oh, you ain't gonna get

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Speaker 1: fixed this, miss Strawberry. All right, we'll have part two

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Speaker 1: of your response coming up, Steve, to this letter the

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Speaker 1: Kitchen and the Bedroom coming up at twenty three minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour right after this you're listening show. All right,

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Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter the Kitchen

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Speaker 1: and in the Bedroom. The name of this letter is

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Speaker 1: this marriage is dumed forty seven year old man dating

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Speaker 1: to forty two year old woman that he's known for

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Speaker 1: twelve years. We got married after we had been apart

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Speaker 1: for five years, and so he rushed back in because

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Speaker 1: he didn't want to lose her. But during the five

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Speaker 1: year period, this is what he did. I dated a

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Speaker 1: great businesswoman that was a total practice. She was a

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Speaker 1: great cook, she held it down to a small business owner.

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Speaker 1: She looked good and smelled good all the time. She

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Speaker 1: said the bar really high, as far as high as

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Speaker 1: dating goals. But she didn't want to be married, so

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Speaker 1: we ended up growing apart. Ah, here we go. That's

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Speaker 1: the problem of this whole letter. Now here's other problem.

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Speaker 1: I rebounded back to what was famillion, who I was

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Speaker 1: comfortable with, and the problem is she's way too comfory

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Speaker 1: with everything. So here is the beginning the second part

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Speaker 1: of the problem, which is why I say this marriage

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Speaker 1: is due. My wife is not the woman I met

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Speaker 1: years ago. She's a bit of a slob now. And

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Speaker 1: I heard on the phone with her mom a few

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Speaker 1: days ago saying that I love her unconditionally and would

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Speaker 1: drank her bathwater. She asked me to guess what he said.

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Speaker 1: She is so wrong about that. I ain't taking a

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Speaker 1: teaspoon and your little fucking bathwater drinking bath water from you.

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Speaker 1: Didn't you just hear him describe her as a bit

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Speaker 1: of a slob right now. And then the man said,

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Speaker 1: I'm falling out of love with her and starting to

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Speaker 1: feel stuck. You're not starting to fall out of love.

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Speaker 1: He out of love. This is not a letter of

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Speaker 1: something that's declining. This is a letter about something that

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Speaker 1: has declined. Because he said I feel stuck now, he

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Speaker 1: tried to bring it back. She's got an outstanding body

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Speaker 1: and she knows it. She thinks she's putting on me

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom. But it's always sloppy and all over

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Speaker 1: the place. Well, now, ladies, you're probably thinking, what does

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Speaker 1: he mean when he says it's always sloppy and all

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Speaker 1: over the place. It means she doing too much? She

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Speaker 1: doing too much, she doing the most, And that ain't

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Speaker 1: what he won't it's sloppy and it's all over the place.

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Speaker 1: Ify time he gets a little rhythm going, she won't

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Speaker 1: jump up do something else that's sloppy. Love it. Every

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Speaker 1: time we get somewhere before I can get a good

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Speaker 1: rhythm going here, you won't jump up and do something else.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you why, because listen to this

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Speaker 1: line right here, I just want to make love to

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Speaker 1: my wife once in a while. But she on some

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Speaker 1: freaking stuff all the time. And you know where she

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Speaker 1: got this freaking stuff from the five years, y'all was

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Speaker 1: a part while you was dating Superwoman. She found Ron

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Speaker 1: the mac and he didn't put it on her. Now,

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Speaker 1: she thinked, that's the way it goal sloppy and all

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Speaker 1: over the play do it like they flip over here,

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Speaker 1: give me that that that stand up over here? Okay,

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Speaker 1: doing everything, Okay, now on your back, okay, now hold

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Speaker 1: on to the shiney and that swaying crossed me one time.

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Speaker 1: Hold on right there, going there branks some water in here,

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Speaker 1: throws them, throws them all on me. It's just too much,

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Speaker 1: she told me. Yeah, okay, but she's on some freaking

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Speaker 1: stuff all the time. I want a home cooking meals

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Speaker 1: that I don't always have to cook, she told me.

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Speaker 1: She no longer enjoys cooking, and we need to get

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Speaker 1: a meal prep delivered or her mom can cook for

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Speaker 1: us occasionally. She must think I'm a food. And you

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Speaker 1: know why he says, you think I'm a food because

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Speaker 1: of what he had before. He said, I dated a

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Speaker 1: great business woman that was a total package. She was

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Speaker 1: a great cook, she held it down to a small business.

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Speaker 1: She looked good and smelled good all the time. She

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Speaker 1: was not a slob, and she was not sloppy. She

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Speaker 1: must think I'm a fool if she cannot meet my

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Speaker 1: basic needs in the kitchen, in the bedroom. Why am

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Speaker 1: I in this? See he wants He just wants us

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Speaker 1: to tell him why he in it? Then here's the

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Speaker 1: line of lines. I'm a Christian and I don't believe

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Speaker 1: in divorce, but I can't keep doing this. So how

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Speaker 1: can I fix my failing marriage before it's too late?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean before it's too late? Dog, it's

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Speaker 1: already too late. First of all, I'm a Christian. I

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Speaker 1: don't believe in What did that got to do with it?

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Speaker 1: Shennon did say something that made all the sense in

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Speaker 1: the world. Christian get divorced all the time? No damn

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Speaker 1: what you believe in? I believe in the Bible. I sin,

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Speaker 1: I believe in the weather channel. But sometimes I don't

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Speaker 1: brain my jacket. The problem with this is the comparison.

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Speaker 1: The comparison is the whole problem in this relationship. Right now.

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Speaker 1: The five years they was apart, he ran up into

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Speaker 1: the real deal, the rebound. He got back with her

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Speaker 1: and things have changed. It is no way to fix this.

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Speaker 1: You can bring it up if you want to, but

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Speaker 1: she's already convinced that you love her unconditionally and you

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Speaker 1: would drink her bath water. She is wrong about that.

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Speaker 1: He's not drinking her bathwater and he'd drank that other

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Speaker 1: girl bel that day, fixing his shut because what he

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Speaker 1: won't he had and what he went back to is

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Speaker 1: not what he had or what he won't anymore. As

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Speaker 1: she is slob now as she on on a cook

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Speaker 1: and she doing too much in the bed that she's

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Speaker 1: showing what she learned in the five years he was off,

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Speaker 1: and he won't what he had before. This is a wrap.

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Speaker 1: You can try to fix this if you want to.

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Speaker 1: Mister A Right. Please leave your comments on Today's letter

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM and check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming up next, it is

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Speaker 1: Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Stave Harvey Morning Show