WEBVTT - Rosie O'Donnell 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:06.280 This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the Thing. 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:12.040 Rosie O'Donnell has been a stand up comic, a star 0:00:12.119 --> 0:00:16.400 search contestant, an actress, a talk show host, a philanthropist 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:20.080 and activist, a magazine editor, a blogger, a Broadway and 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:26.400 television producer, and a mom. Rosie has five kids. Doing 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:30.400 it all was a pattern Rosie established early in high school. 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:34.559 She was voted Homecoming Queen, prom Queen, Senior class president, 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:40.080 and class clown. Rosie O'Donnell is not one to mince words, 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:44.159 and she's never shied away from a controversial subject. Her 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:48.040 combination of confidence and conviction has led to very public 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:51.839 disagreements with celebrities such as Tom Selleck, Donald Trump, and 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:56.120 Elizabeth Hasselbeck from the view, but that same combination led 0:00:56.160 --> 0:00:59.800 to her husually successful talk show, The Rosy O'Donnell Show, 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:02.480 where she sat down with the biggest stars of the 0:01:02.560 --> 0:01:05.760 time and talked about what mattered to them and to her. 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:10.520 She earned herself the nickname the Queen of Nice. Rosie 0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:14.200 o'donnald is nice and grateful for what she has. She 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:16.720 might say that has something to do with her childhood 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:20.319 when she suffered the hardest blow imaginable. You know, my 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:25.640 mother died so ten and they were two younger siblings 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:28.600 and two older siblings, right, so that was really hard 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:31.119 to everything. Yes, and and it's sort of close to her, 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:34.000 not really, I mean I think that she was very 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:36.120 irish and reserved like my father. There was no I 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.560 love using the house. There was no hugging, you know. 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.280 It was more like like I went to Jackie's house 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:42.400 all the time. My best friend still lived across the 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:45.440 street when I was a kid, and her mother would 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:48.559 say I love you to them, and I remember being 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:51.920 struck like cold from that, like you would say that 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:54.440 to each other, like no one said that to each 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:57.760 other and my family ever until we were really older adults, 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.600 and even then it was difficult. So I remember when 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.440 I had my first child, when Parker, who was now eighteen, 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:07.000 the I love yous were frequent and fluid. And you know, 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.120 even now, I dropped my boy off at school this 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.440 morning and he's thirteen. You know, I'm like Bob Blakey 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.400 love He's like love you to mom, like casual, nothing, 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:16.760 don't even And that was so foreign to me as 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.080 a child, and I craved it. I craved it. And 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:22.520 when a mother dies in a family like that, things 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:26.160 turned to disarray because the washing machine, the you know 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.280 things that my dad just had no clue about, Like 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:31.120 he mashed the potatoes in the water. He was trying 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:33.680 to make mashed potatoes. After she died, like all of 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:35.520 the domesticity went out of the house, and it was 0:02:35.600 --> 0:02:38.360 so kind of stark and cold and and run down, 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:41.119 and you know, the things that a mother's touch generally 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.800 bring to your life, we're missing. And that's all the 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.680 all the softness and the and the kind of safety 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:50.359 and security to prepare the family for a life without her, 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.720 Rosie's mother taught each of her five children a different 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:57.000 meal to cook. Rosie learned how to make London broil, 0:02:57.120 --> 0:02:59.800 which she says she still won't eat because of the 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:03.160 men raise it conjures. Up in her hometown of Coomack 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:05.920 Long Island, not far from where I grew up, Rosie 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:09.160 began to plot out her future in show business. You know, 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:11.040 I never wanted to be a talk show host. That 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:12.799 was never my goal. I wanted to be on Broadway, 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:14.360 so you know, I wanted to be a Bette Midler 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:16.640 backup singer, one of the Harletts. So when I was, 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:20.520 you know, in in Comac High School South in nine nine, 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:23.440 and I would take the train in and see Matinee 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:26.600 every Wednesday and cut out of school and do standing room. 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:28.680 And so my goal was Broadway, and I saw a 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:30.400 bet on Broadway and Clowns and a Half Shell one 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:32.800 of my first shows ever. You know, I didn't grow 0:03:32.880 --> 0:03:35.320 up listening to Johnny Carson like every comic tells you. 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:38.600 I didn't, you know, admired to be like my mother. 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:40.680 You didn't want to stand up either. I never thought 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:42.480 of it. My mother didn't like John Rivers. My mother 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.920 thought she was mean. And I remember my mother telling 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.480 me Tody Fields was a real comedian, Philis Diller was 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:50.120 a real comedian, but that Joan Rivers is not nice. 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.840 And she said you never go far in self exactly. 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:55.960 And Joan was made fun of Elizabeth Taylor, which I 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:58.480 think to my mother was sacraseck. You know, so I 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:00.840 never like thought of it. So when I was in 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.360 high school, I would do the play for the seniors, right, 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:06.360 everybody makes fun of the teachers and like a Saturday 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:08.720 and night life type thing the senior year and I 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:10.360 was a freshman and they knew that I was sort 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:13.120 of into comedy, and they said, would you write the skits? 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:15.280 So I did so I was the only sort of 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.119 freshman allowed to be and for every year sophomore junior, 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.120 I was writing these skits. So the last years, my 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:24.320 senior year, this guy comes in and and says, hey, 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:25.800 did you write all this stuff? And I said yeah. 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:27.320 He goes wanted to be a stand up. I'm like, God, 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:28.640 I don't know how to understand up, because well, I 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:31.520 own a club, east Side comedy club Huntington's near you. 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:34.160 Why don't you come and do stand up? Okay, what 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:39.919 what year is that? That is nineteen seventy eight? What 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.040 is a stand up comedy club like in Huntington's in 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:45.719 nine seventy eight? Well, I was sixteen years old. I 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:47.800 just got my license, but I wasn't really old enough 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:50.040 to get into clubs. So I took my neighbor, Dory 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.800 Norton's license member when they were paper and you could 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.560 take a little pin and scrape, so I had fake id. 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.440 Career is built on a crime, actually without a debt. 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:02.320 I was impersonated, wouldn't um So I went in and 0:05:02.400 --> 0:05:05.200 you know, when you're sixteen years old, You're fearless, right. Also, 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:07.400 everybody I knew from my high school showed up that 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:09.800 night because it was a Saturday night or something, and 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.960 he let me go on and do a few minutes, 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:15.200 and I killed because everybody I knew was in the room, right, 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:17.279 So I'd make jokes like Marylyn's going out with Mitchell 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:19.600 and Mike doesn't know, and all my friends would be 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:22.400 like and made fun of the teachers like common things that. 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:24.680 So the owner said, well, that was really good. Why 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.240 don't you come back tomorrow? So I went back the 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.480 next night. I didn't know anyone. It was a school night. 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:32.760 I bombed like you have never, oh my god, like 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:34.760 a horrible death. And I went home and I thought, 0:05:34.839 --> 0:05:37.320 I don't want to do that anymore. So I'm watching 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.880 um MERV. Griffin and I see Jerry Seinfeld and I 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:42.800 see him doing is that It's all then like last? 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:44.599 And I remembered is that you know there were no 0:05:44.680 --> 0:05:47.480 VCRs then? But I remembered, like you know, my car 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:50.200 stopped and I opened up the HUD and I'm thinking, 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:52.960 what am I looking for? And on off, switch, on off, 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:58.080 and I'm thinking hi, And so I remembered it so right, 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:00.320 the club owner called me again, Richie and said, come back. 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.160 Why don't you come back? You were good that first night. 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.119 And so I come back and I do sign Fells 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:06.920 act almost verbatim, and I get off stage and Ritchie 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:09.480 and you know, a bunch of other comics are standing around, 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:11.400 said would you get that material? I said, this guy 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:13.840 named Jerry who was on MERV Griffin yesterday. They go, 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:16.680 you're not allowed to do that. Like why not? They go, 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:18.320 you have to write your own jokes, and like, wait 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:21.120 a minute, strikes and doesn't write her own songs? Did 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:24.000 you do? Well? Did the audience like? And they didn't 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:27.080 you hear those? Because they were laughing jokes a joke. 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:31.000 I have to write the jokes. Nuts, Harold Arlen wrote 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:35.039 that song, that stuff, and so you know that. Then 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:37.000 I they said, well, why don't you just hang around here, 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:39.640 and uh, you can watch? So I started watching, right. 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:42.680 I started going there almost every night watching comics, and 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:45.640 the crowd like, well back then it was sort of 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:47.760 the Heyday was starting with the hey Day, like Eddie 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:50.960 Murphy had just gotten on Saturday Night Live. So somebody 0:06:50.960 --> 0:06:54.200 from our little club broke out to the big time 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.480 and comic clubs were kind of hot in the eighties. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.200 You know, I sort of hit Yeah, I hit the 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:00.599 wave at the exactly the right time. Michael said that 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:02.560 to me once. He said that when Saturday Night Live 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:06.520 started back then in the mid seventies seventy five, he said, 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:10.320 they were like six comedy clubs in the United States exactly, 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.400 and you knew every stand up working. There was a 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:14.560 time when I started where I knew every female comments 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.320 working working in the country, right, and everybody knew each other, 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:18.880 and everybody would help each other out. Hey, there's a 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:21.080 club Tickles and War in Ohio. I can talk to 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:24.840 the guy for you. You wouldn't have to audition because 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:26.760 you knew somebody who went there. And a lot of 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.280 times I'd go to the clubs and they pick you 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:29.800 up in the car at the airport and they'd have 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:31.560 a sign and they'd be driving you back to the 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:33.360 comedy condo and the guy go, you know, you're the 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:36.120 fourth girl I had. The last three sucked. If you win, good, 0:07:36.120 --> 0:07:38.080 I'm never book and a girl again. I was like, 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:40.720 no pressure, you know, just my entire gender is writing 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:43.760 on this, so um, you know. The k comic called 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:45.080 me and said, come back, and then I did. I 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:47.520 was hanging out there and then I would do open 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.280 mic night. So Shirley Hemphill, do you remember what's happening? 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.040 Big Heavy Black Lady should play? Okay, she was the headliner. 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.320 Now that was a big deal in night. Right, she's 0:07:57.360 --> 0:08:00.400 the headliner and she's there are a day earl watching 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:02.680 open mic night. I come off the stage. She comes 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.080 over to me and she goes, little one, little one, 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:06.680 come here. I said, yeah, Now, I'm an eighteen year 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.600 old kid, alec, but I look about fourteen right, and 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.200 she says, um, you're funny. Come with me. She takes 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:14.640 me in through the kitchen to Richie's office and says 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:16.800 I want her to open for me this weekend, and 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:18.440 he goes, no way, she's too new, she doesn't have 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:20.600 any act. She says, I wanted to m C. I 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:22.440 wanted to open and do every show. And I want 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:24.880 you to pay her twenty five bucks a night. There 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.160 was a hundred dollars. I was eighteen and in high school. 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:31.400 I thought my head was going to exactly, my head 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:34.440 was going to explode, and so she really helped my career. 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:37.040 I started doing that and then I never stopped and 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:41.120 you did that until Star Search was two when you 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:45.480 were on. Now, obviously, this idea of the talent search show, 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.040 this goes back to Leonard Sillman on Broadway years. I mean, 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:52.080 this has been forever. And then then of course there's 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:54.360 a renaissance of this now with the voice and this 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:56.079 in the hand and the foot and the tongue and 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:59.200 the show. What was that like back then for you? Well, 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:03.240 it was unbelief people, because unlike huge and unlike today 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:05.720 where there are so many media platforms and there are 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:09.200 so many shows like it, we had four channels, five maybe, 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:11.440 And I remember my nana whenever somebody was on, like 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:14.280 Tody Fields was on MERV Griffin or the Don Ho Show, 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:16.079 which was on in twelve and the I'd have my 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:19.040 nana press play and record on the cassette player so 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:21.920 I could listen to Tody Fields on the shows that 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:23.839 I would miss at school. And I think back about 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.679 that now and it's kind of trippy. Was the Fireplace? 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:30.839 Oh my god? Totally? So what happened was Star Search 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:33.600 was so popular and I was on the second season. 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:37.720 Comics had two minutes, hundred and twenty seconds to do materials. 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:39.559 Do you have a clean routine. Oh yeah, always have 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:42.080 a clean routine. Oh no, not in clubs necessarily. But 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:45.760 I hadn't, you know, enough stuff. The problem was I 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:49.000 kept winning. So I had enough clean material for like 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.400 five weeks, and then I kept winning and I was 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:53.400 like ship. So I called up comics who are my friends, 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:55.280 and said, can I use that? Bit about this? Can 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.120 I use that? And they a lot of them said yes, 0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:59.600 you know, Jeanette Barber, let me use a lot of bits, 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:02.240 Carol Henry, let me use bits. And you know, I 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.880 had people trying to help me. And so then I lost, 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:08.440 and I eventually, but I won like god like. It 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:11.560 was like twelve thousand dollars al or like fourteen thousand dollars, 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:15.040 and I remember thinking I couldn't believe it. I couldn't 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.480 believe it. I went for the final, a hundred thousand 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:20.920 dollar thing, and I lost, and uh, I remember never 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:23.599 being so nervous in my life. You know, TV was 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:26.240 so different back then. In they put you up at 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.600 the Sunset Strip, Right, it was at Sunset and Vine 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.480 where they filmed it. And I didn't have any money. Right, 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:33.480 they give you per diem, but I didn't know to 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:36.120 get per diem so I had. All that I had 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:38.160 in my pocket was like, you know, forty dollars. So 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:40.160 I'd walk every day to Carney's, you know that hot 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:42.679 Dog's cheer on Sunset and for a dollar four you 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:45.280 could get fries, a small coke, and a hot dog. 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:47.719 And that's all I had. So it's so funny. You 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:50.000 watch it. You watch me losing weight every single week 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.599 because I didn't. I didn't really, you know, but I 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.560 ended up winning all this money. And I went from 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:58.160 being an opening act to being a headliner from Star 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.880 Search overnight, and then you get into the movie business. 0:11:02.480 --> 0:11:05.200 Then I become a DJ, I do Star Search, and 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:07.400 then I do give me a break. What happened was 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:12.240 I was at a comedy club and Lauren Michaels was there, 0:11:12.240 --> 0:11:15.360 was Share and Brandon Tarnikoff and it's called Igby's Comedy 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:19.400 Club in Okay, and Dana Carvey was was auditioning to 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:22.000 get on SNL and I was the next comic up 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.040 and the way, this is one of my friends. And 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.480 they said, we're not dropping the check until after your set. 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:30.040 So well, Brandon and they wanted the check because they 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:33.240 had seen Dana I was on and I killed right now. 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:35.760 It's I had a decade under my belt of doing 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.120 stand up right, so um. They came up to me 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:42.080 after the show, Brandon Tarnikoff, and said, Hi, I want 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:44.280 you to call this number at NBC tomorrow. We have 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.959 a job for you. And I called my sister. Was 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:48.720 like three in the morning, New York time. I said, 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:52.040 I got on SNL. Oh my god, Brandon Tarnikoff was 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:54.559 here with Lauren Michael's and I'm gonna be on SNL. 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:56.360 And I walk in the next day to NBC and 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.040 they said, we're gonna put you on. Give me a break, 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:01.840 and I was like now, I was still thrilled to 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:03.960 be on TV. And so that was the show. I 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:06.200 did about ten episodes of that in the last season 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.480 after that. That was eighty six and then eighty eight. 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:12.120 They were auditioning VJs for VH one and at the 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.720 improv with Budd Freedman and I went there and I 0:12:14.760 --> 0:12:16.400 did my set and the guy came out and he said, 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:18.280 you're really good, but you don't really look like MTV. 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:20.320 And I said, I know when he goes, but we 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:22.680 have another station, v H one, and at that time 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.320 it was reda Coolidge. I don't know if you remember. 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:27.480 And so he said, you wanted an audition for that, 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.120 you'd have to fly yourself to New York. I said, 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:31.679 all right, So I flew my play White Wedding like 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:36.000 nine times a day, exactly right. And they said, you 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:37.839 know you can audition. So I went on camera and 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:40.760 I auditioned and went home to l A and then 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:43.320 I wrote him a thank you note, Steve Leeds, I said, 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:45.160 thanks for the shot. I really appreciate it. And he 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:46.920 was so moved that somebody wrote him a thank you 0:12:46.960 --> 0:12:48.880 note that he sent the tape over to the v 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.360 H one people. The guy who was hiring is named 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:54.640 Ed Harrington, very Irish guy. He saw Rosie O'Donnell and 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:57.040 he hired me. So it was a thank you note 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:00.240 that got me to that. I did that for about 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:03.000 two years. What was that like? It was because it 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.240 seems like for the person who wanted to the clams 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:09.080 on the hashell career, you meander and you here and 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:10.880 here where it takes you. What was it like for 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:12.920 you to be doing that? Well? Everyone everyone said not 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:15.360 to do it. People who were quote unquote advising my career, 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:17.040 like Bud Freeman or you know, I didn't even have 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:19.679 an agent really any because I knew it was in 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.360 twenty three million homes. And I thought that it would 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:26.200 teach me how to be conversational versus presentational. Presentational is 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:28.240 what you do with stand up. You've already prepared it. 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.520 It's a wrapped package. They undo the bow, they undo 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.680 the thing, kaboom, there's the joke, right, But this is 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:37.120 more conversational. Can you carry on a conversation with a 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:40.000 camera and treat it like a person? And I thought 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:42.000 it was a skill that would really help me. And 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:44.720 I also thought that many millions of people seeing you, 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:47.199 you can't say no. Was it also about money? It 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:49.440 was a hundred thousand dollars because I don't want to assume, 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.160 but are you like me where a lot of the 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:53.440 decisions I made was about money. Yeah, at that time, 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:55.600 I was like, you know, twenty one maybe, and to 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.840 get a hundred grand because I remember saying to them, 0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:59.120 I'm giving up a lot of money to not go 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:00.600 on the road because I was a good money in 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.120 the road and you would have to definitely cover that. 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:04.960 And so they came up with a hundred grand. So 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:06.720 what I would do is it was eight hours a day, 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.080 but you could film that in about two hours. It 0:14:09.160 --> 0:14:11.520 was four breaks an hour at two minutes a break, 0:14:11.960 --> 0:14:13.720 so they would give you the pictures that you had 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:16.160 to do, like you know, this is Rosie O'donnald coming 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:17.800 at You on v H one Video Hits one. The 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.720 other music television that was Whitney Houston, her seven single 0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:23.600 offer debut album, Whitney Houston is doing VH one To 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.320 Go Go our dance show only here on VH one 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:31.640 Saturday nights eight to eleven. But that was about fourteen seconds. 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.080 Now I had a minute and a half left to 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.920 fill and there's nobody but me and two cameramen. So 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.520 my goal was to get the cameraman to laugh so 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.600 that the camera would jiggle right. So that was that 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:45.200 was my goal. I want to go back and see tape, 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.120 see if I can find that jiggle camera. Bet you can't. 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.000 I bet I can't. Yeah, And so I did that 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.120 for about two years, and that's how Penny Marshall saw me. 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:53.880 She saw you on VH one. I had just gotten 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:55.720 an agent, and I sit next to this woman on 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.480 a plane and coach and she's very bitchy to the 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.320 students and she's saying I ordered salad, and I start 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:03.160 making her laugh. I'm like, here, take my salad, give 0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:05.080 me a dessert. You're such a and I put her 0:15:05.120 --> 0:15:07.200 her luggage. I'm not just making her laugh, right, And 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:08.880 so it turns out she's an agent. She's a new 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:12.960 agent at William Moore. She's Julie Roberts Agents assistant. Okay, 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:15.360 so I'm like, wow, that's pretty big for me. So 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:17.000 I start talking to her and she's like, what are 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:18.600 you doing. I'm like, I'm going out to audition for 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.280 a game show and she's like, oh, and good luck. 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:22.680 So I don't see her. You know, I dropped her 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:25.240 a no to something. And then six months later I 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.200 sit next to her again on another plane. Is that 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.400 the weirdest story? And I she said, what are you doing? 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:32.280 I said, I got offered wind Loser drawer for kids 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.760 on Disney. They're gonna pay me fifty thousand dollars a year, 0:15:34.840 --> 0:15:37.040 five year contract and I'm gonna host that show. And 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.600 she said, you're not. And I'm now your agent, and 0:15:39.640 --> 0:15:41.720 we're too close to God for me not to intervene. 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:43.520 And it's too weird to sit next to you twice 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:49.680 reesa Shapiro of course, and she um becomes my agent. 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:52.600 She gets a phone call, Hi, do you represent that VJ? 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.840 Can she play baseball? She calls me up, She says, 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:57.640 can you play baseball? And baseball? I said, if there's 0:15:57.680 --> 0:15:59.600 one thing I can do better than Julia Roberts, it's 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:03.040 base all And so I went and I auditioned for 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:04.600 the movie. You had to play baseball to even get 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:06.960 a reading, and I, of course, I'm very good at baseball. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.040 So um, I went in and got the part. So 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.840 everywhere you're going, you're showing up, obviously with stand up, 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:16.360 and then you're making the guys laughing, jiggle the camera, 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:19.120 and there's a velocity and a pace and an energy 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:21.000 to what you're doing. And now you're making movies, And 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:22.720 does that become a different muscle for you to sit 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:25.280 there and go, man, this is slow and boring. Yes, 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.680 But I love the camaraderie. I love the set of 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.480 League their Own with all the people playing baseball and 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.360 oh no, it's the actors, the camera guys and like 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.160 you know, all of the crew doing the thing where 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.600 they picked the cards and exactly, and it was so 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.280 loving and so beautiful and stand up you're alone. You're 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:43.760 going on these clubs. You know, for ten years, fifteen years, 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:46.160 I was alone on the road. You know, I'd go 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:48.040 by myself. I had to get in a plane and 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:49.880 I'd fly to someplace in the middle of the country 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:52.440 and they picked me up and feel homeless. Yeah, and 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:56.240 you feel lonely. And then so when you go to 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:59.240 make a league of their own and you get the 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:02.240 responsory had made. The movie is a huge success. Everybody 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:05.119 loves you, blah blah blah. Do you say to yourself, Well, 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.679 I mean, which is I'm not assuming you do. But 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:09.359 often people sit there and thinking, well, this is it. 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:10.959 I'm a movie star and I'm gonna be lighting one 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:13.159 off the other for the next forty years. Well, I 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:15.000 will tell you this. When they said that Madonna was 0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:17.760 going to be playing my best friend, you know, we 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:19.560 had all been cast, and Penny said that to me, 0:17:19.600 --> 0:17:20.919 she's going to come in. You have to make a 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.840 laugh and hopefully she'll do the film. Like I had diarrhea. 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:27.560 I thought, Madonna, Madonna, how do you be friends with Madonna? 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:29.840 What the hell? Like? You know, in our lifetime, I'm 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:32.480 fifty one years old, so we're almost the same age. Right, 0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:35.480 and to see her at twenty something explode like she did. 0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:37.800 And I remember she had been friendly with Sandra Bernhard 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:39.359 a little bit, and as I was a VJ, thinking 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.720 how can you be friends with her? How could somebody 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.359 be friends with like Elvis, like mcdonna? And here I 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.159 am playing her best friends. So I knew when she 0:17:47.280 --> 0:17:49.920 was cast in that role that my career was going 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:52.359 to take a whole different trajectory because of it. And 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:54.919