1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:13,720
Speaker 1: Paul from Alan Alan, Alan, Alan, tell me everything.

2
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:14,000
Speaker 2: Alan.

3
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:21,880
Speaker 3: Oh you know, Alan took a chance.

4
00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,560
Speaker 4: Alan told me everything he was comfortable with telling me,

5
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,840
Speaker 4: which is nothing and that's fair.

6
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,559
Speaker 5: Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night

7
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:35,480
Speaker 5: every week.

8
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,800
Speaker 6: Goes to side.

9
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:37,840
Speaker 3: He was teaching.

10
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,080
Speaker 5: You your life.

11
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,640
Speaker 3: Nobody's not really an expert.

12
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,280
Speaker 1: Paul from Audrey Audrey.

13
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,320
Speaker 7: Oh my god, Hi, how are you?

14
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:54,800
Speaker 3: Audrey?

15
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,800
Speaker 7: I'm all right, how are you?

16
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:58,400
Speaker 3: Uh?

17
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:04,800
Speaker 4: You know, I'm cool and I'm I'm over here.

18
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:07,679
Speaker 7: I can see that you look real chill. I love

19
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:08,559
Speaker 7: the Christmas tree.

20
00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,280
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you so much, Ozre.

21
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,679
Speaker 4: This's so nice of you to say I stole it

22
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:13,840
Speaker 4: off the internet myself.

23
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,320
Speaker 7: That's a great way to go about it.

24
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,560
Speaker 4: What are you up to, dude? You seem like a

25
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,360
Speaker 4: good perse. Have we ever spoken before?

26
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:24,800
Speaker 7: No, we have not.

27
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,679
Speaker 3: How does how does it feel it?

28
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,800
Speaker 7: My heart is racing. I've been watching your stream for

29
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,920
Speaker 7: a bit now. I'm really excited to be on.

30
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,520
Speaker 4: Oh fuck, I'm glad when people who've watched for a

31
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:44,400
Speaker 4: long time I haven't gotten on. Finally get on, dude.

32
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:46,240
Speaker 7: I'm I'm so excited.

33
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,600
Speaker 3: Get into the weeds. I have a question for you.

34
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,120
Speaker 3: This evening.

35
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,400
Speaker 7: Yes, what's the question?

36
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:53,920
Speaker 3: Have you know?

37
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,960
Speaker 4: Look, it's Christmas time, right, and that was a good

38
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,960
Speaker 4: time I think for us to you know, sort of

39
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:06,280
Speaker 4: evaluate the self and you know, determine whether or not

40
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:07,320
Speaker 4: we have been naughty or nice.

41
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,680
Speaker 3: So I have a question for you, Ausia. Have you

42
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:09,799
Speaker 3: been naughty and nice this year?

43
00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:16,400
Speaker 7: You know I'm boring. I've been really nice. I've accomplished

44
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:20,920
Speaker 7: some goals, did some good things. Very happy about it.

45
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,079
Speaker 3: Okay, what have you accomplished?

46
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:28,680
Speaker 7: Well? I started my first year of college. It's been

47
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,919
Speaker 7: eight years since I've been in school, and I'm really

48
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,960
Speaker 7: happy about that. I was really scared of school for

49
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,720
Speaker 7: a long time, kind of didn't go to school before,

50
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,240
Speaker 7: so this is really cool.

51
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,079
Speaker 3: Why were you scared of school?

52
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:42,919
Speaker 7: Because I didn't.

53
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:43,600
Speaker 3: Go to school.

54
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:48,000
Speaker 7: I was like technically homeschooled, but I basically just taught

55
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,880
Speaker 7: myself everything.

56
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:50,359
Speaker 2: So are you.

57
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,600
Speaker 3: Eighteen or are you like you just graduated?

58
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:57,600
Speaker 7: I'm twenty I'm twenty six now. Actually I turned twenty

59
00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:58,600
Speaker 7: six on the twenty six.

60
00:02:58,840 --> 00:02:59,400
Speaker 2: I'm twenty four.

61
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,200
Speaker 3: Why are we Why are you avoiding? Why are you

62
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,640
Speaker 3: avoiding going to college?

63
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,240
Speaker 7: Because I had never been in a classroom before and

64
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,720
Speaker 7: very intimidating, and I just didn't feel smart. But now

65
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,519
Speaker 7: I finally feel smart, So that's really cool.

66
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,560
Speaker 3: So you you you so you were homeschooled your entire life?

67
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,799
Speaker 7: Yeah?

68
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,360
Speaker 3: Was Is there a particular reason why?

69
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,000
Speaker 7: Because my parents were very religious and they thought public

70
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:33,440
Speaker 7: school was full of demons, confusing, very complicated, And.

71
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,200
Speaker 4: I mean, look, that's that's a legitimate reason, by the way,

72
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:43,120
Speaker 4: public Look, public school is filled with demons. But dealing

73
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,120
Speaker 4: with those demons is a necessary part of of your growth.

74
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 4: So just because public schools filled with demons, that's a

75
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,440
Speaker 4: legitimate opinion to have. But not I don't think it's

76
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 4: a good thing to avoid. I think dealing with those

77
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:59,240
Speaker 4: demons is part of the self development.

78
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,200
Speaker 7: But well, I wish I had a I wish I

79
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,600
Speaker 7: had a chance. I did not get the chance back.

80
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:08,360
Speaker 3: Then, Are you are you religious now? No?

81
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:09,360
Speaker 7: Not not anymore?

82
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:14,200
Speaker 3: Is that okay?

83
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,039
Speaker 4: So what I mean, what was going on between eight,

84
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,119
Speaker 4: you know, eighteen to twenty six?

85
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,120
Speaker 3: Why what were you doing? You were were you like working?

86
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,320
Speaker 7: I was working. I've been working. I've been working as

87
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:29,560
Speaker 7: a nanny for eight years. And I just kind of

88
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,000
Speaker 7: had to run away from home for a while and

89
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:34,520
Speaker 7: figure myself out.

90
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:43,080
Speaker 4: What was like the spark that got you? You know,

91
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,880
Speaker 4: I mean, after after eight years, you know, what was

92
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,480
Speaker 4: the thing that sort of got you like, all right,

93
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:47,800
Speaker 4: I'm going.

94
00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:48,400
Speaker 3: To go to school.

95
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,760
Speaker 7: Well, it took me a long time to kind of

96
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,599
Speaker 7: build up the confidence.

97
00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,719
Speaker 8: To feel like I could be educated.

98
00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:59,840
Speaker 7: I have a lot of confidence that she said, that's

99
00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,160
Speaker 7: a took me a long time. And I think the

100
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,919
Speaker 7: thing was that I lost my job due to COVID,

101
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,560
Speaker 7: and I had some money set aside, and I was like,

102
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,479
Speaker 7: you know what, I think it's time to do something new.

103
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,000
Speaker 3: Interesting.

104
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,039
Speaker 4: So but okay, and then the COVID was another thing

105
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,880
Speaker 4: I was going to mention because are you are you

106
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,560
Speaker 4: going to in person school?

107
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,080
Speaker 3: I've no idea what's going on with that?

108
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,919
Speaker 7: Yeah, No, it's all online. I'm really really thankful for that.

109
00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,000
Speaker 3: So thankful for that.

110
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:30,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

111
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,320
Speaker 7: No, I liked it a lot. I'm scared. I'm a

112
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,719
Speaker 7: little scared of people.

113
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,040
Speaker 3: I'm scared of people to be I thought that was

114
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:37,480
Speaker 3: the whole thing.

115
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,640
Speaker 4: I thought the whole thing was this triumphant moment of

116
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,800
Speaker 4: you being like, you know what, I'm going to face

117
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:42,320
Speaker 4: a few years.

118
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go into the classroom.

119
00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:47,960
Speaker 7: And you know that was the plan. That was the plan.

120
00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,559
Speaker 7: I think I was like planning on I was planning

121
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,120
Speaker 7: on taking a couple of cult classes and was like, yes,

122
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,760
Speaker 7: I'm ready to be in a classroom, ready to have

123
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,640
Speaker 7: a teacher. That is going to be a new thing

124
00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:02,000
Speaker 7: for me. Yeah, COVID happened and then everything is online.

125
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,599
Speaker 7: But still the educating thing was a big part of

126
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:04,920
Speaker 7: it all.

127
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,000
Speaker 3: What are what are the main things that you hope

128
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,880
Speaker 3: to get out of school?

129
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,400
Speaker 7: I know this is kind of weird, but I want

130
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,960
Speaker 7: to learn how to be taught, you know, like I

131
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:22,240
Speaker 7: want to learn how to I had to learn so

132
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,720
Speaker 7: much for myself, like because I had to teach everything

133
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,320
Speaker 7: to myself growing up, and so it's kind of nice

134
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,800
Speaker 7: to know that there's I don't know, somebody who has

135
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:35,200
Speaker 7: qualifications to teach me, and I'm just I hope I

136
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,159
Speaker 7: get out of it like a willingness to learn more.

137
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,640
Speaker 7: And yeah, that's I think that's the main thing.

138
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,080
Speaker 3: Who taught Who taught you when you were in homeschool?

139
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:48,720
Speaker 7: Was it like parent myself? My brother didn't know how

140
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,640
Speaker 7: to read, so they spent a lot of time focusing

141
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,480
Speaker 7: on him. So I basically had.

142
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,880
Speaker 4: Something where like, I have no idea how this works.

143
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,160
Speaker 4: You know how this works, of course, you know how

144
00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,279
Speaker 4: that worce more than I do. Isn't there a thing

145
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:04,080
Speaker 4: where like there's a legal requirement for someone of a

146
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,520
Speaker 4: license someone to teach you something.

147
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,640
Speaker 7: It depends on state to state. I don't know if

148
00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,440
Speaker 7: I should disclose right left, but like, my state has

149
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,880
Speaker 7: no regulations when it comes to homeschooling. So basically, yeah,

150
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:20,920
Speaker 7: so some states, right they don't have homeschoolers can gather.

151
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:25,240
Speaker 7: My state homeschoolers can gather. So there was like connections

152
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,920
Speaker 7: and things for homeschools to tend. But I also didn't

153
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,640
Speaker 7: have to take any state standardized testing, so some states

154
00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:33,160
Speaker 7: do have that.

155
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,280
Speaker 4: How did you get into college if you didn't have

156
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,120
Speaker 4: any what did you apply on the basis.

157
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,200
Speaker 7: Of I guess, well, I'm going to community college. But

158
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,640
Speaker 7: I guess you just need to have some money. I

159
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:48,880
Speaker 7: actually just found out that my I don't have a diploma.

160
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,840
Speaker 7: I actually just found that out here.

161
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:56,080
Speaker 4: Can you get into college? Can you get into community college? Diploma?

162
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,880
Speaker 7: I mean, I I apparently I did so, I guess

163
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,680
Speaker 7: I actually I'm going through all these courses. I'm planning

164
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,080
Speaker 7: to apply to their nursing program. And the reason I

165
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:09,160
Speaker 7: found out that my high school transcript doesn't work is

166
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,640
Speaker 7: because I need an accredited transcript to get into the

167
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:14,480
Speaker 7: nursing program. So after all of this college I'm going

168
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,000
Speaker 7: to go through, I then have to get my GED.

169
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:18,840
Speaker 3: To apply.

170
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,480
Speaker 4: Okay, so you don't need a GED to go to

171
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,480
Speaker 4: community college, but you needed to get into the nursing program.

172
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,600
Speaker 3: Yes to doing it kind of backwards.

173
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,239
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's real weird.

174
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,680
Speaker 3: I didn't know that you can get into communic college

175
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,040
Speaker 3: without a high school diploma.

176
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,320
Speaker 7: I mean, I'm doing it.

177
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,200
Speaker 4: That so, like if you could just so if you

178
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 4: wanted to, you don't have to fucking go to elementary school.

179
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,720
Speaker 3: You can just start back community college.

180
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,720
Speaker 7: It might be different in different states because, like, my

181
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,400
Speaker 7: community college has a specific thing when you apply, it

182
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:54,360
Speaker 7: says like did you graduate from public school? GED or homeschool?

183
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,440
Speaker 7: And you just got to click that option. They're like,

184
00:08:56,559 --> 00:08:57,520
Speaker 7: I guess that's good.

185
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,000
Speaker 3: Okay.

186
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,959
Speaker 4: If you tell them they're homeschool, then they're like, all right,

187
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,720
Speaker 4: you will give you a pass because.

188
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, I guess. So it's it's real weird. People move

189
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,520
Speaker 7: to my state just to homeschool their kids because it's

190
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:10,959
Speaker 7: so lax.

191
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:18,760
Speaker 3: What what was I gonna say? What? What's your relationship

192
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:19,480
Speaker 3: like with your parents?

193
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:19,760
Speaker 2: Now?

194
00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:21,480
Speaker 7: Don't talk to him?

195
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:22,680
Speaker 3: Don't talk to him.

196
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,800
Speaker 7: No, they're terrible.

197
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,720
Speaker 3: Well I was the last time you spoke with him.

198
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,360
Speaker 7: Ah, spoke to my mom. I haven't talked to my

199
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,640
Speaker 7: dad in over two years. My mom I keep in

200
00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,760
Speaker 7: touch with every once in a while, so I talked

201
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:42,600
Speaker 7: to her kind of recently. We go, we go up

202
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:42,960
Speaker 7: and down.

203
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,280
Speaker 3: Is that is that something that you you you grieve about.

204
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,559
Speaker 6: Or don't grieve?

205
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,160
Speaker 7: Grieve? I've done a lot of grieving about that. I

206
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,079
Speaker 7: think that's the basically the thing that like cut off

207
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,720
Speaker 7: me and my parents as I came out as gay

208
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:02,960
Speaker 7: and they were like, no, that is satanic, then kicked

209
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,560
Speaker 7: me out of the house. So that was just a

210
00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:08,320
Speaker 7: bunch of traumas. But I had to grief. You're right,

211
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,320
Speaker 7: I had to grieve, and I did. I let myself

212
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,400
Speaker 7: do that, and I think I'm in a better place

213
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:15,160
Speaker 7: now because of it.

214
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:16,400
Speaker 3: Of course.

215
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,360
Speaker 4: Well, I mean that's great that you were able to

216
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:30,080
Speaker 4: start to form your own life after after you know,

217
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,600
Speaker 4: your parents weren't able to necessarily give it to you.

218
00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:37,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, I got a good chosen family. I have a

219
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,400
Speaker 7: great girlfriend who have been with for five years. She's

220
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,240
Speaker 7: been my rock.

221
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:44,520
Speaker 3: For five years.

222
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:46,920
Speaker 7: You say, yeah, five years.

223
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,120
Speaker 3: Has she ever met your parents?

224
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,719
Speaker 7: A couple of times very briefly. We've known each other

225
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:59,200
Speaker 7: since we were twelve, so she's like it was kind

226
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,120
Speaker 7: of she's kind of met them, but not really.

227
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,640
Speaker 3: What what was what was that like?

228
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:06,839
Speaker 5: When?

229
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,640
Speaker 3: When when did you come out to your bets?

230
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 7: When I was eighteen, eighteen or nineteen?

231
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:15,920
Speaker 3: What was that? Like?

232
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:18,240
Speaker 5: Awful?

233
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:19,280
Speaker 7: Really bad?

234
00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:19,880
Speaker 3: I was.

235
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,360
Speaker 7: I had already moved out of their house because some

236
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,959
Speaker 7: other shit was going on, and was living with a

237
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:30,200
Speaker 7: different church family. And when I came out to them,

238
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,320
Speaker 7: that family then told me if you act, think on

239
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,640
Speaker 7: or be gay, we will kick you right back out.

240
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:38,400
Speaker 7: So I kind of had to go back in the

241
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:42,720
Speaker 7: closet and it was an awful, awful time in my life,

242
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,240
Speaker 7: but I kind of got through it.

243
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,000
Speaker 3: No, that's that's so good that you got out of that,

244
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:53,120
Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, it's so it's so annoying that like

245
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,640
Speaker 3: still talking people are like that.

246
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,679
Speaker 7: Yeah, but they told me I was going to lead

247
00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,160
Speaker 7: people to hell. There was I was involved in. It

248
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 7: was a cult, right, My family was in like a cult,

249
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,200
Speaker 7: and uh, there was a guy. People would come up

250
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,080
Speaker 7: to us because they believe they had like gifts of

251
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,360
Speaker 7: visions and stuff. And he came up to me and

252
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,840
Speaker 7: he was like after I came out, and he was like,

253
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,640
Speaker 7: I had a vision that you were going to lead

254
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:18,280
Speaker 7: people into a portal to hell. So that really broke

255
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,719
Speaker 7: my brain from mile.

256
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,240
Speaker 3: He had a vision that you were going to lead

257
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,320
Speaker 3: people into hell.

258
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,079
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, he like.

259
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:28,280
Speaker 3: It was.

260
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,640
Speaker 7: It was a wild vision. It was like people, they

261
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,240
Speaker 7: were totally fine, and then you were leading them through

262
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:37,400
Speaker 7: this portal and they came out all scabby with scars,

263
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,000
Speaker 7: and they thought that they were okay, but they're actually

264
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,559
Speaker 7: not because of you. You're leading them to hell. And

265
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:48,560
Speaker 7: it was like a like a metaphor for gainess.

266
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,040
Speaker 3: Well, that's kind of badass.

267
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:56,160
Speaker 7: Right when you think about it, you turn it around

268
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:57,560
Speaker 7: kind of cool.

269
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:02,600
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, that's cool. I mean that's kind of

270
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,600
Speaker 4: like what like, you know, heavy metal and shit is

271
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,000
Speaker 4: to me, it's like taking this stuff that's supposed to

272
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,920
Speaker 4: be bad and owning it is like, no, this is

273
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,760
Speaker 4: actually fucking cool. I'm leading motherfuckers into hell right now.

274
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:13,720
Speaker 4: You better fear me.

275
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:17,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's pretty cool.

276
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,920
Speaker 4: What what Okay, So so if you knew you knew

277
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 4: was it a community or was it just you? You

278
00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,760
Speaker 4: were like the house down the street that was religious

279
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,079
Speaker 4: that no one talked to. Was it because I'm curious

280
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,600
Speaker 4: about your girlfriend. Was your girlfriend from the similar community?

281
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,440
Speaker 7: No? No, we uh she was not. She did not

282
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:43,959
Speaker 7: grow up religious, thank god, she her parents raised. But yeah,

283
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,520
Speaker 7: it's weird how we met a girl from my church

284
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,439
Speaker 7: invited me to one of her sleepovers and I met

285
00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:53,320
Speaker 7: my future girlfriend there. But she went to school with

286
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,520
Speaker 7: this other girl. So yeah, my family, we lived out

287
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:59,160
Speaker 7: in the boonies. We didn't celebrate Halloween, so you know,

288
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:03,720
Speaker 7: like we didn't talk to anybody from the community. But

289
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,400
Speaker 7: like the cult though, that was the only thing we knew.

290
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,200
Speaker 3: Okay, so this was a cult.

291
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,120
Speaker 7: My parents were in a cult. Yeah, it's it's a

292
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 7: little complicated.

293
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,120
Speaker 4: What sort of true I mean this was They weren't

294
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,840
Speaker 4: just like super really what sort of traditions did they

295
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,720
Speaker 4: have that you think separated them from just being a

296
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,400
Speaker 4: fucking crazy church to being like, this is a cult.

297
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,480
Speaker 7: Well, there's a couple characteristics of cults, right, Like the

298
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,520
Speaker 7: cults want you to stop talking to your family members.

299
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,800
Speaker 7: So my family had cut off all communication from their family.

300
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,520
Speaker 7: There's like a thing called love bombing, and that's where

301
00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,680
Speaker 7: when you like you do the right thing, they like

302
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,600
Speaker 7: really praise you. So like my like my parents were

303
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,240
Speaker 7: into like this very like you know, spiritual kind of

304
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,280
Speaker 7: like shaking on the floor sort of worships are. I

305
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,680
Speaker 7: got into that because that's what I was told to do.

306
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:59,840
Speaker 7: So a lot of like weird spiritual vision, spiritual warfare,

307
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:04,080
Speaker 7: demon fighting ship. It was weird. My parents like anointed

308
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,800
Speaker 7: the doors if they thought that evil was going to

309
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:12,960
Speaker 7: come in the house, an anoint the door, like they

310
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,840
Speaker 7: would like take oil and anoint the door if they like,

311
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:20,160
Speaker 7: especially during Halloween, because they thought that like demons would

312
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,920
Speaker 7: come in, so they would like anoint the doors with

313
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:30,240
Speaker 7: oil and like prey and fung. Yeah, I remember kids

314
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,080
Speaker 7: throwing eggs at our house because we would never give

315
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,400
Speaker 7: a kid. My parents would lock us in the basement.

316
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,000
Speaker 7: Actually for Halloween, we would annoint the doors and then

317
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:42,520
Speaker 7: they'd lock us in the base I doesn't it's now

318
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,640
Speaker 7: that you say it like that, it makes me a

319
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,240
Speaker 7: rethink some things.

320
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,640
Speaker 4: But yeah, well, I mean that's a Halloween is a

321
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:56,640
Speaker 4: terrifying moment for you know, strictly religious households. Because demon

322
00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,240
Speaker 4: because because look, normally, if you think the demons are

323
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,960
Speaker 4: going to show up at your door, you're you're crazy.

324
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,240
Speaker 3: But on little.

325
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 4: Halloween there might be demons showing up at your door.

326
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 4: They yeah, yeah, well what do you what do you

327
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:18,600
Speaker 4: what are you trying to be?

328
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 3: Trying to be a nurse? You said you're going to

329
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:21,360
Speaker 3: Nison school.

330
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, go on.

331
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,160
Speaker 7: To trying to apply to the nursing program. So if

332
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 7: I fail all my biology classes, I'll have to do

333
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,080
Speaker 7: something else. We're going to try not to do that.

334
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,840
Speaker 3: Well, you look, whatever you do, you know you're going

335
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 3: to kill it. My friends, what do you say your

336
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 3: name was?

337
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:39,960
Speaker 7: Oh my name is Adre.

338
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,520
Speaker 4: Well listen, Audrey, thank you, thank you again for calling in,

339
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,000
Speaker 4: and uh you know, best of luck in school, my dude.

340
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 4: Congratulations you escaping the cults.

341
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,600
Speaker 7: Thank you, Thank you so much for talking with me.

342
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,840
Speaker 7: You've really made my night. I appreciate you.

343
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,640
Speaker 3: Thank you for calling in. You having to go rest

344
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,240
Speaker 3: to the night, Audrea, Yeah you too, Good night, Good night.

345
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 2: All from Solo.

346
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,119
Speaker 3: Solo Soto.

347
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 4: Yes, what's you know? Are you from somewhere? You say

348
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:14,480
Speaker 4: you have an accent of some kind.

349
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,120
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I'm from England.

350
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,160
Speaker 4: Oh fuck yeah, man, I heard that there's a coronavirus

351
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,680
Speaker 4: strain that's muted. It's mutating in England.

352
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 2: And we're gladly I'm not there right now.

353
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's cool. Why what made you leave England?

354
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:33,159
Speaker 2: Well, I originally went to go teach English in Singapore

355
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:36,840
Speaker 2: and I met some very cool people. I met my

356
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 2: current roommate. Now we live together in New York.

357
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,240
Speaker 3: His name is Jusef Nice.

358
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 4: Now you guys met in Singapore, you said, teaching English?

359
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 2: Yes, both of us? Yes, did you do?

360
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 4: You do the whole crazy let's go to the hostels

361
00:17:55,040 --> 00:18:00,320
Speaker 4: and go see the world and you know, die and

362
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 4: all that stuff before we you know, go to see

363
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 4: all the world.

364
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 2: No, no, not really. We did take a little bit

365
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 2: of the a little bit of a trip over to

366
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:18,199
Speaker 2: China as well as Taiwan's nice, but that's oh it's

367
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,840
Speaker 2: a beautiful place. Yes. We didn't even go to the

368
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,120
Speaker 2: north where they have the well they have that really

369
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 2: big city tai Bay. But were we We went more

370
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,119
Speaker 2: to the east where there were mountains.

371
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 4: Tell me tell me about the day you met Joseph. Joseph,

372
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,560
Speaker 4: tell me tell me what your first impression m was Yousef.

373
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 2: He's a very interesting bloke. He came into the school

374
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,680
Speaker 2: after I did, about four months after I did, and

375
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,000
Speaker 2: we were we were pretty much the only ones who

376
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,520
Speaker 2: had very very proficient English, you know, people from that

377
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,880
Speaker 2: area of the world. Uh, they wanted to go over

378
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 2: to Singapore. Most of the must of the world, is

379
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 2: it English people and all the Americans. They want to

380
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,919
Speaker 2: go more towards say, China and all that in Japan,

381
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 2: but Singapore was an option more for English people, I guess.

382
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 2: And we just became very good friends. You know. We

383
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:20,119
Speaker 2: invited well not way, I invited him over to my

384
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,240
Speaker 2: place and we just got to know each other a

385
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 2: little better.

386
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:31,400
Speaker 4: Nice and now you guys have a blossom and American relationship.

387
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 4: You guys are a couple of Where's Yusuf from?

388
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,399
Speaker 2: I do believe that he's also from England, very different

389
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 2: part than me, though I'm from more of the central

390
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,800
Speaker 2: part of England. He's from the south.

391
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:47,320
Speaker 4: We'll listen, look, now that we've gotten our corson, now

392
00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 4: that we've gotten to know each other, and now that

393
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 4: we've established a rapport in which, you know, I get

394
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 4: the sense that you trust me and that you're willing

395
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,359
Speaker 4: to tell me everything, and that you'd be willing to

396
00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 4: die for me. And I'm happy that we've progressed this

397
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 4: far and to our relationship and now that we have

398
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,679
Speaker 4: and now that you know we trust each other so deeply.

399
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,919
Speaker 4: I want to know from you, what is what is

400
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 4: your greatest nightmare?

401
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 2: Now, by nightmare, do you do you mean like your

402
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 2: living nightmare? You're like, I am on earth, this is

403
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 2: my living nightmare, because I would have to say that

404
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: it is children in a restaurant being very very loud.

405
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,960
Speaker 4: So your nightmare is being in a restaurant with a

406
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 4: lot of loud children. Yes, would you ever have? Are

407
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 4: you planning to have children at some point in your life?

408
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,919
Speaker 2: I haven't really thought about it all too much, but

409
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,439
Speaker 2: I mean mostly you know, you're in a restaurant and

410
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,880
Speaker 2: you're trying to enjoy yourself rather well, this happens way

411
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 2: too much in America, truth to be told. But you're

412
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,880
Speaker 2: sitting there and there's a family, you know that they

413
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 2: have parents with the little kids, okay, and they're just

414
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 2: screaming and crying, kicking everywhere. Parents they aren't doing anything

415
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 2: to stop it.

416
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:07,199
Speaker 4: It's like, my goodness, if I mean so if you

417
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,399
Speaker 4: were if you were a h if you had kids,

418
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 4: you would you know, whip whip them into shape and ship.

419
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 2: Oh yes, whipping into shape metaphor glue. Of course I

420
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:19,439
Speaker 2: would never, I guess, strike them or anything.

421
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 3: That's nice. No, you seem like you seem like you're

422
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 3: above that.

423
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 2: Would you Would you ever hit your kids? Life?

424
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 3: But I ever hit my kids. I don't know. Maybe

425
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 3: if they were hitting me firste if they had a

426
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,919
Speaker 3: weapon of some kind. If I had to defend a

427
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,919
Speaker 3: baseball bat, yeah, if I if I had to defend myself,

428
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 3: I absolutely would. You know, whatever holds.

429
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 2: Up very much respected.

430
00:21:52,520 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 3: Yes, what about your what about your your your your

431
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 3: you know, subconscious nightmare?

432
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 2: That sounds very weird because I do have a girlfriend,

433
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,360
Speaker 2: but I don't want to die alone. And I realized

434
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 2: that that is very cliche. But I've had bodies go

435
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,879
Speaker 2: down the pipe all the time. They have they have

436
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 2: blazers of them of their own and it's all been

437
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: going very well for them or whatever, but then just

438
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 2: just lay it down down the line there they they

439
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 2: just lose it and then they never have a girlfriend again.

440
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 2: We're pretty much at that age, you know, if you're

441
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 2: settling down, then you're not going to be keeping them

442
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 2: for very long. Mm hmm.

443
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 3: Do you want to settle down?

444
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 2: I think it'd be very nice. Yes, I don't know

445
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 2: where exactly I would, just because I do think that

446
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 2: I do want to see a little bit more of

447
00:22:55,560 --> 00:23:00,160
Speaker 2: the world before I do that. However, Yeah, I'm just

448
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 2: just get that I won't get to that point with

449
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 2: this wonderful woman that I'm saying, She's truly wonderful.

450
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,520
Speaker 4: How old are if you don't let me ask you,

451
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 4: how old am I? Twenty heaven twenty seven is still

452
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 4: pretty young. There's a lot of room for you to

453
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 4: go and see shit. But uh, you know, I also

454
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 4: I also think it depends on like what kind of

455
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 4: what kind of person you know? You get your gal

456
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 4: is right, like if you have you know, I'm sure

457
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 4: all the things that you know you want to do

458
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 4: before you settle down and have ten screaming restaurant children,

459
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 4: I'm sure she wants to do stuff like that too,

460
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 4: you know, possibly, So you know, there's there's a room

461
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 4: for that, if if the if the if the charts

462
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 4: align for you to go take some trips, for you

463
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 4: to go fuck around in uh, all these all these places,

464
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 4: do these things that you want to do before you

465
00:23:53,080 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 4: you know, uh, before you you settle down. But if not,

466
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 4: you know, at least you're living whatever life.

467
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 2: Of you is.

468
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 4: The shows and hey you can also you can always

469
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 4: get divorced if you need to.

470
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 2: I guess that's true. However, it's it's kind of a

471
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 2: weird option, don't you think, because you go this whole

472
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:20,959
Speaker 2: time and you say, all right, I'm going to kick

473
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: I'm going to commit to you, yeah, and then you

474
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 2: just you just cross that, you just cross that in

475
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: your hand. It's true.

476
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 3: No, you never you never want to, you never want

477
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 3: to go into it with that.

478
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,679
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think too many people go into it

479
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 2: right now with like, oh, yeah I can get married

480
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 2: and then if things don't work out, then I can

481
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 2: just you know, take the ring back and we can

482
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 2: go through all of that fun little courtship. And my goodness,

483
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 2: I don't know how you could really put another person

484
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 2: through that the except for when it's obviously very very mutual.

485
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 4: But damn, you know, you're I could tell you're you're

486
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 4: you're a you're a very wholesome guy. You definitely I

487
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 4: could tell you you you do a lot to please

488
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 4: other people.

489
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe yes, maybe to a fault.

490
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 3: Do you think so? Do you think it's to a fault?

491
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 2: Yes?

492
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 3: Mh. In what ways do you think it's to a fault?

493
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 5: Mm hmm.

494
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 2: I suppose, if I can put this broadly, that you're

495
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: you're giving this platter of opportunities correct, like be it romantic, educational, vocational,

496
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 2: all of that, and there are other people around you

497
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 2: who are also going to be grabbing from it. Ah.

498
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 2: I tend to be the more conservative one who doesn't

499
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 2: take more than say, two pieces of sushi off of

500
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 2: that tree m.

501
00:25:59,240 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 5: H.

502
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 2: And I just kind of like let everybody else step

503
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 2: over me. And I'm a little bit too nice about

504
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 2: all of that.

505
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 3: Why do you feel like but so okay? So this

506
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 3: is in this, in this sort of analogy. Are you

507
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 3: not taking uh more than two pieces of sushi because

508
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 3: you're trying to leave some sushi for for other people?

509
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: You know? Do you do you? What? What is?

510
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: I do? Suppose? That is the question?

511
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 5: Uh?

512
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 2: And like why am I not taking more? And a

513
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 2: phrase I've learned here, which I think is just absolutely

514
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 2: magnificent is chase the bag. I think that is hilarious.

515
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,479
Speaker 2: I love imagining somebody chase chasing this bag of whatever

516
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 2: it is that they're chasing.

517
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 4: You know, to get the paper, to get the paper,

518
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 4: you know, get the money. You know, you chase chase

519
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 4: after money. There's a there's an expression, there's a there's

520
00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 4: a there's an expression out there. You know, uh, you

521
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 4: want you might you might lose money chasing women, but

522
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 4: you won't lose women chasing money.

523
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. Yeah, that that's one to think about.

524
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,679
Speaker 3: What in what other ways do you do you do

525
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 3: you think? I want to know? I want like a

526
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 3: like a like a.

527
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 2: Oh, yes, I.

528
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 4: Want to I want an example of a time, a

529
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 4: time in which you feel like you you sacrifice yourself

530
00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 4: and your desire, you what you wanted for the sake

531
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:34,160
Speaker 4: of someone else.

532
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 2: All right, let's take it back to Singapore. Okay, when

533
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 2: I was still teaching there, there was this lady in

534
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 2: the school, you know, and of course we we had

535
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 2: to fancy each other, and as it naturally happens, and

536
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: then ah, after about five months of being together, let's

537
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 2: just round up to six. But after after about half

538
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 2: a year together, she started to get a little bit

539
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: more more demanding on certain things that she wanted out

540
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 2: of the relationship, like moving in together, saving money and stuff,

541
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 2: and that's not something that I'm quite comfortable doing. However,

542
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 2: she got really really pushy on that. And it's not

543
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: that I said I wouldn't. I don't want to settle

544
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 2: down with this woman for the rest of my life

545
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 2: or anything. It's just I allowed her to push me

546
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 2: out of my comfort zone. And we moved in briefly.

547
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 2: We signed an eight months lease because that was how

548
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: long my teaching contract was still staying up, and so

549
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: we signed up into that and then not even a

550
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 2: month into living there, she decided to break things off.

551
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 2: So not even me, it was it was her who

552
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: broke up the relationship there, and it was it was

553
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:49,719
Speaker 2: it was frankly devastating.

554
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,959
Speaker 4: So so you so you were pressured in the so

555
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,719
Speaker 4: she pressured you in the first place into moving in

556
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 4: with her, but the end then why you were and

557
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 4: then eight months into it, you she she broke up

558
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 4: with you. Yes, how do you think she was able

559
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 4: to pro Why? Why did why was she so adamant

560
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 4: about you guys moving in together?

561
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: Uh? She she wanted to save money. She was one

562
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 2: of the newer teachers there. I was I was already

563
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 2: a teacher for two years at that point. Uh so,

564
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 2: I guess I was already a little bit more well off,

565
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 2: and I did live with people.

566
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,959
Speaker 3: My first were you were you were you paying all

567
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 3: the rent?

568
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 2: I guess we kind of pro rated it. She took

569
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 2: about four hundred of it, and then I took the

570
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 2: six hundred. If we're going out of the playoffs an example.

571
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:40,800
Speaker 3: Okay, m I.

572
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 2: Used the US dotter, Yes what you were? U S dollars?

573
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, he's US os or okay, well and what

574
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 4: we call them GHAK bills where I am, but.

575
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 2: Oh, GAK bills, Yeah, in Gakland.

576
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 4: So that was stupid. You know, look, sometimes I want,

577
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 4: you know, I I try. I I I don't know

578
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 4: how much of what I'm doing is me being a character,

579
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 4: and sometimes I add lore to it. But I think

580
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 4: that just now, that was that. That wasn't that wasn't rhythmic.

581
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 4: That was just felt kind of stupid. But you know what,

582
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 4: Look we're going to move past that. Yeah, I said, okay,

583
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 4: so she was paying so she So you had a

584
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 4: sixty forty agreement, correct? Is this something you want to

585
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 4: change about yourself?

586
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 3: Like? Do you you want to feel like you can

587
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 3: you want you want to? What? What was it?

588
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 2: What?

589
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 3: How was she able to convince How was she able

590
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 3: to convince you to do it?

591
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 2: That truly is the age of question. I don't necessarily know,

592
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 2: because that was always something that I said, step fast,

593
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,719
Speaker 2: step fast on pretty much the entire time when I

594
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,479
Speaker 2: when I was back home. There was also another there

595
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,960
Speaker 2: was also another lady who was trying to get me

596
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 2: to do something along the same lines there. But I

597
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: don't know, eventually she just kind of swoons me into it.

598
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 2: It was nothing right, It was nothing r rated at

599
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 2: or anything. It was just kind of after a certain point.

600
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 4: Of her nothing are raally she didn't she she she

601
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 4: wasn't like holding. She wasn't like, hey, if you move in,

602
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 4: we'll have sex a bunch.

603
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,200
Speaker 2: No, absolutely, you know that that was a very little

604
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 2: concern to me.

605
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 4: Okay, you're you're you're You're a pure guy. You're not

606
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 4: you're not driven by You're not seem driven by money

607
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 4: or lust.

608
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 2: I appreciate it. Actually, money is something I guess that

609
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 2: I do love a little bit more than I should

610
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 2: if if you're one of those Bible people.

611
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 3: But what what drives you? My friend?

612
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 2: What drives me mostly I will I will live for

613
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 2: my friends and I will die for my friends.

614
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 3: Okay, relationships are important to.

615
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 2: You, yes, very much so. And the what is it,

616
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: I guess romantic side those relationships that those don't necessarily

617
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 2: weigh too much on the or anything. It's more so

618
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: just having a relationship with somebody because people are so

619
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 2: different in the so magnificent or every single one of us,

620
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 2: that it would just be a wasted opportunity to kind

621
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 2: of leave a relationship behind with somebody.

622
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 4: And I don't know, I you know, I actually have

623
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 4: a lot. I have a lot of respect for that mentality,

624
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 4: I really do. I think that you know, you you

625
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 4: you hold look, our relationships with other people on the

626
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 4: planet Earth is is definitely something to be held sacred,

627
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:53,479
Speaker 4: for sure. But I think it is also you know,

628
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 4: and it's it's it's hard because I really do believe that,

629
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 4: and you're really doing a you know, a bang up

630
00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 4: job of that. But at the same time, you don't

631
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 4: want to hold them so sacred that you're neglecting your

632
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 4: own needs, because sometimes you can't afford to drop a

633
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 4: couple of people. I mean, there's seven billion people, you know,

634
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 4: not all their relationships with all of them can't be

635
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 4: worth dying for.

636
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right, You're right, and it's something that I

637
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 2: actually came to realize in a bit of their silence.

638
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 2: There is that just there are definitely people who are

639
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 2: going to try to take advantage of you, and I

640
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: try to put that at the very back of the

641
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 2: list for pretty much everybody. I like to give people

642
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 2: the benefit of the doubt, and I do think that

643
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 2: that is where my problem comes in. You know, I

644
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 2: kind of let people push me around because I want

645
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 2: them to succeed. I want to see them grow in

646
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 2: a relationship with me as well.

647
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 3: How do you feel how what's your relationship like with yourself?

648
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 2: With myself, I would say it's very good. And I

649
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 2: started therapy about a couple of months ago because I

650
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 2: was going through I was going through some trouble with

651
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: my with my family. But I guess we don't need

652
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 2: to get into that. But after, especially after getting into therapy,

653
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: I saw a lot of positive things come out of

654
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 2: that because my therapist was telling me about how my

655
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 2: feelings are still valid in everything. Yeah, and it's not

656
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 2: something that people can take from you, you know.

657
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 3: It's people can take from you.

658
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 2: Right that that that's something that I guess I struggled

659
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: with there for a second because there were manipulating they

660
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:05,439
Speaker 2: were manipulativeeople around me. But after after she was there

661
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: to help me with you know, your your feelings are valid.

662
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:12,840
Speaker 2: You're allowed to feel this way. How you react to

663
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 2: it is where is where everybody else can either be

664
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 2: helped or they are or they're going to get her

665
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 2: in some way. Basically, I'm paraphrasing what she said. She

666
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 2: was she was spectacular in in delivering that to me.

667
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,319
Speaker 2: But I can't. I can't do it justice at all.

668
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. You know, I do I do feel like

669
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 3: do you do?

670
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 4: You do you feel like before you were I know

671
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:47,439
Speaker 4: you said you're dating someone, but you do you feel

672
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 4: like you ever had at like a good period of

673
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 4: time in your life where you were able to develop

674
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 4: a relationship with just yourself and really get into being alone.

675
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 2: Hm hmm. I imagine the only time for that would

676
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 2: be during say primary or something primary school.

677
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 4: I feel like that's something that's happening a lot that

678
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,480
Speaker 4: people are started being forced into now with quarantine.

679
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 2: Oh yes, yes they were also. I guess now that

680
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 2: you point that out that there were times where we

681
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: were just me and yusef. We were here in our

682
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 2: apartment and we couldn't go see anybody because the streets

683
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 2: are up to abandon in NYC. And I guess I

684
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 2: guess that was both a negative time but also a

685
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:46,240
Speaker 2: very positive time because I did get that time with myself. Finally,

686
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 2: because as you can tell, I'm probably as you can

687
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 2: probably tell, I'm a very social guy. I like to

688
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:52,399
Speaker 2: put myself out there.

689
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 4: Ye.

690
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'll see what you're saying. And definitely sometime

691
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,439
Speaker 2: during all this COVID business, I did get some time

692
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 2: for introspection.

693
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 3: Fuck should you still there? Damn? I last I can?

694
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 2: Yeah?

695
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 4: Oh sweet, okay, amazing, Sorry, so sorry, I mean I

696
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 4: gotta FaceTime, Carl. I couldn't hear what you what you

697
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 4: said just now?

698
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 2: Oh, no problem?

699
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 8: Hm.

700
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 3: So you should be pissed at me?

701
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: No, No, I shouldn't. It's a it's a very undostendable problem.

702
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:40,280
Speaker 3: No, it is, I know. And so your therapist was

703
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 3: was was helpful?

704
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 2: Yes? Absolutely, I would. And I do realize that the

705
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 2: therapy in your in your title is perhaps for jest,

706
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 2: but yes, true, truly, people seeking therapy should be not

707
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 2: necessarily a number one priority, but definitely put it somewhere

708
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 2: near the top of your list because it is a

709
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,439
Speaker 2: very helpful thing.

710
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:12,240
Speaker 3: Beautiful. Well, what would you say? Your name was, uh, Solo.

711
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 2: Well, everybody calls me Solom. My name is Solomon.

712
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 4: Solomon. Well, Solomon, thank thank you again for coming in

713
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 4: and sharing your story with this man. Everyone in the

714
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 4: chat it's going crazy about you. You should, you know,

715
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 4: take some of your take some of your catchphrases and

716
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 4: put them on.

717
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 3: On T shirts.

718
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 2: I will try that.

719
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,399
Speaker 3: I appreciate you, Solomon. You have a rest of the night.

720
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 2: Man, Yes, you too. It's been a pleasure.

721
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 3: Pleasure is all mine, my friend. Hey guys, this is

722
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 3: Lyle here. I stopped recording the intros because I asked

723
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 3: for feedback on them and I was told that they

724
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 3: are not necessary, which was the greatest thing anyone could

725
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 3: ever tell me, because I don't like recording them. So

726
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,959
Speaker 3: this is a win win. But I am here to

727
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 3: tell you that this podcast does not currently have any sponsors.

728
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 3: But if you enjoy the show and you want to

729
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 3: support and you want to make it easier for me

730
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 3: to do this in the future, you can head on

731
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 3: over to patreon dot com slash lyle Forever. Patreons receive

732
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:30,960
Speaker 3: access to the exclusive Patreon discord and exclusive streams and

733
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 3: all other stuff and the ability to help me eat

734
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 3: food and live in a place. So yeah, if you

735
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 3: want to support the show, you can head on over

736
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:42,960
Speaker 3: to patreon dot com slash l y l e f

737
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 3: O R e V e R. You can also consider

738
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 3: buying a souvenir from the Therapy Gecko merch store www

739
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:55,840
Speaker 3: dot therapy gecko dot com. And that's enough for the ads.

740
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 3: Let's get back into the program.

741
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 1: Baby from Bryant brandt.

742
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 3: Uh like Kobe, like Kobe. Yeah, what's your nightmare?

743
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 4: Bryant?

744
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 5: What's my name?

745
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:19,840
Speaker 3: Your nightmare?

746
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 5: Oh, my nightmare. I'm awfully nervous for some reason.

747
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 2: It's just very vital.

748
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:33,879
Speaker 4: I think that that's a good that's a good mind

749
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 4: state to be. You know, when you're talking about your nightmares,

750
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 4: you know that should make you nervous.

751
00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: No, you're talking about ghosts and ship you know, ghosts.

752
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 2: I don't know.

753
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 4: Don't be nervous talking to me. I'm very weak, all right.

754
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 4: There's nothing about me that should pose any amount of

755
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 4: a threat to anyone.

756
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 5: I think I have a lot that losing my penis

757
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 5: is one of them, I think, really yeah, or just

758
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 5: not being able to use it because it's such a

759
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 5: good like coping thing.

760
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 3: For me, using your penis. Yes, in in in what

761
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,920
Speaker 3: way do you cope using your penis?

762
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 5: You know, I would probably say over ninety nine percent masturbation?

763
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 3: M Yeah, so you you you fear losing the the

764
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 3: ability to to masturbate?

765
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, or just like any anything, you know, Like I

766
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 5: heard a lot about the anti depressants, and that can

767
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 5: be one of them, or any kind of psychiatric medications

768
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 5: really affect it. So you know it, there's a lot

769
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 5: of difference.

770
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 3: I've heard that. I've heard that.

771
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you know, I mean what you know, look,

772
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 4: even if if that went away, let's say that went away,

773
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 4: let's say you couldn't do that anymore, what would you

774
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 4: what would you fill that time with? Because look, I

775
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 4: know from experience, you know, you if it's something when

776
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 4: you're when you're really going crazy, when you're really going

777
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 4: at it, when you're like, you know, four or five

778
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 4: times a day, you know when it's when when the

779
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 4: peckers turning red?

780
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 3: You know it.

781
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 4: It's a lot of time. It takes a lot of

782
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 4: time to to to ejaculate, and there's a lot of

783
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:30,800
Speaker 4: times that you could be spending doing other stuff.

784
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I think just helping people would probably

785
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 5: be That's why I questioned whether or not God is real,

786
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 5: because if he got rid of my dick, I'd probably

787
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 5: just like put effort into like being a good person,

788
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,800
Speaker 5: or like becoming a rocket scientist.

789
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 2: Or I don't know.

790
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:53,280
Speaker 4: So you're telling me that if you didn't jack off,

791
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 4: you would dedicate your life to helping people and become

792
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 4: a rocket scientist.

793
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 5: I'm one of the other.

794
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 4: And look, that's not a bullshit. And look I know

795
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 4: you're laughing, but that's not a bullshit. I've had the

796
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 4: same exact thought. I've got the same exact thought. I

797
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 4: have sat in post ejaculate mind state, thinking that if

798
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:19,479
Speaker 4: I did not have balls, I could be I could

799
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:22,160
Speaker 4: I could become a scientist of some kind, I could

800
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 4: be an astronaut, I could go to space. I do

801
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:29,720
Speaker 4: believe that, So it's not a right thought.

802
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:33,879
Speaker 5: My library would become much more extensive, it might be

803
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 5: a more enjoyable life. I think about God a lot,

804
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 5: and I think about I think about like people who

805
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 5: are parallel and how could God allow something like this?

806
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 5: And I think about but I didn't. I'm not living

807
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 5: their lives. You know, what kind of life are you living?

808
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,760
Speaker 5: What kind of life does God? What kind of connection

809
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 5: does he have with you in those states? I don't know.

810
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 5: I'm just very intrigued by it. I'm been learning a

811
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:05,920
Speaker 5: lot lately about myself and you know, a spiritual presence,

812
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 5: and I hear you talk a lot about it, so

813
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 5: I was I was excited to talk to you. M M.

814
00:44:14,920 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 3: Where do you think God's place is in your life?

815
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 5: Well, I know he doesn't want me to just be

816
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 5: so be focused on me, you know, because that's that's

817
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 5: when the problems starts. I know he doesn't want me

818
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 5: to drink, and I know he doesn't want me to

819
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:44,000
Speaker 5: be depressed.

820
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 4: Okay, he doesn't want you to make your life all

821
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,560
Speaker 4: about you. Is that what you That's what you said

822
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:54,400
Speaker 4: you want to selfishly?

823
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,359
Speaker 5: Yes, self selfishness is the root of all my problems.

824
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,160
Speaker 4: It's interesting because I've never I've never really taken a

825
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 4: time to think about, you know, masturbation in the light

826
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 4: of it being a selfish act. And I don't think

827
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 4: it is necessarily but it but but Look, this sounds crazy,

828
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 4: but masturbation is inherently It's inherently masturbatory that I don't

829
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 4: think about a lot. But I don't know if it's

830
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 4: if it's if it's selfish. Do you can do you

831
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 4: CONSI do you consider it selfish?

832
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,839
Speaker 5: You know? I like it so much that I don't

833
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 5: even care what it is because I'm not gonna stop.

834
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 5: I'm not going to stop doing it until I can't anymore.

835
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,799
Speaker 5: I'm getting older, you know, and you know I'm not

836
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:52,759
Speaker 5: a spring chicken anymore. So, but it's still I still

837
00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 5: keep it going, you know.

838
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

839
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 5: I don't know how to explain it, but yeah.

840
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 4: You're splanning it, splanning it perfectly. Well, dude, but you

841
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,359
Speaker 4: said you've been, you said you've been struggling to.

842
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 3: With you with your idea of God.

843
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:19,160
Speaker 5: Now, yeah, so you know what.

844
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 2: I've been.

845
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,719
Speaker 5: I've been in an AA like in and out for

846
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 5: a while, and just recently I got one hundred and

847
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 5: twenty eight days sober now. And they kind of tell

848
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 5: you in the program is in the morning, you get

849
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 5: on your knees and you say the third step prayer,

850
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 5: and it's kind of like you ask God and I'm

851
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 5: totally not buying any of this, even though I've experienced

852
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 5: like just good things start to happen. But you kind

853
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 5: of ask God be like, you know, take away my difficulties,

854
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 5: that victory over them may bear witness to those I

855
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 5: would help. And it's kind of like, whatever you want

856
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 5: me to do today, I'm I'm I'll try to be

857
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 5: receptive of it, Like, help me to be receptive of

858
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 5: what you want me to do. And then things just

859
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 5: started happening. You know, I lost my job. I was

860
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 5: in the mental hospital and in March, and I just

861
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 5: got a really good job. You know, my relationship with

862
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 5: my girlfriend has gotten a lot better, Like and I

863
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 5: don't like sleep all day and and I didn't get

864
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 5: out of my bed for like a year. I was

865
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 5: so freaking depressed. You know, a lot of people on

866
00:47:32,520 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 5: here get put with a lot of medications and stuff

867
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:36,960
Speaker 5: like that. I hear I've been on I've been on

868
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 5: some pretty heavy antipsychotics, and they are while they're they're rough,

869
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 5: they are hard. So anybody who's going through that, like,

870
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 5: just no, just you know, be patient and uh, but

871
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 5: I've been through much. And then I just started to

872
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:58,759
Speaker 5: do these these these prayers, and I'm not buying it,

873
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 5: like I don't I don't buy and the God and

874
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 5: but these things just started changing for me. So I'm

875
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 5: met a turmoil, you know, I'm at a crossroads or

876
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:09,800
Speaker 5: I don't know what to think anymore?

877
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 2: Is it? You know? Is this some gimmick?

878
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 5: Is it some kind of gimmick that if you just

879
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 5: kind of play your life like that. I don't know

880
00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:19,160
Speaker 5: how to explain.

881
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 3: It a gimmick? What do you mean by gimmick?

882
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 5: Religion? You know? God? You know, it's for the people

883
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:32,800
Speaker 5: that need it, you know, the people that can't handle

884
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 5: life as is, They need to believe in something bigger.

885
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 3: Say O, I thought I've sort of thought about that,

886
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 3: you know, is it? Is it a gimmick?

887
00:48:42,080 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 4: I mean, I I don't think too long and heart

888
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 4: about it because I don't you know, Look, if I'm

889
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 4: not involved in a community, I don't, you know, I

890
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 4: try not to judge or anything like that, but uh,

891
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 4: I can I can see where you're coming from. I mean, look,

892
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 4: people like having something to believe in. I mean, does

893
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:57,439
Speaker 4: it serve you?

894
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 3: Though? Does it?

895
00:48:58,719 --> 00:48:58,920
Speaker 2: Does it?

896
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,279
Speaker 3: Does having this belief, you know, serve you?

897
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:06,760
Speaker 5: I'm not believing in shit, I'm doing these stupid prayers.

898
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 5: I mean, they're not stupid. It's a real powerful prayer.

899
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, so it's so it's serving you pray this.

900
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 4: You're having these prayers and having these beliefs and having

901
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 4: the spiritual side of yourself is providing you with value.

902
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:23,240
Speaker 3: You would say, Or.

903
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 5: It's just circumstance, or it's coincidence, or just the fact

904
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 5: that I'm not getting drunk all the time. Things are

905
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:33,360
Speaker 5: getting better, you know what is sure.

906
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 4: But I'm talking about but but but what do you mean?

907
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:36,800
Speaker 4: What do you mean by its circumstance or it's or

908
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 4: it's coit you think it's saying it's it's coincidental that

909
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 4: your life is improving at the same time you're doing

910
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 4: these prayers. But I'm talking about the act, the act

911
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 4: of doing these prayers themselves, you know, forgetting about how

912
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,200
Speaker 4: they've influenced your life around you. I'm talking about the

913
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:52,719
Speaker 4: actual when you sit down to go pray, or stand up,

914
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 4: or go to the bathroom or do whatever you do.

915
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,919
Speaker 4: How do you actually feel in that moment when you're

916
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 4: doing it. Do you feel like helping.

917
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 5: You No, it's more just like knocking off something off

918
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 5: my checklist.

919
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 3: Okay, So it feels like an obligation, it feels.

920
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 2: Like a requirement.

921
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 5: Okay, you know that's that's I mean, because the people

922
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 5: that are telling me what to do, you know, I

923
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 5: definitely look up to them and I can really relate

924
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,280
Speaker 5: to what they've said. So I am putting my trust

925
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 5: in what they've done.

926
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 4: So there's people that you look up to that have

927
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 4: told you to do to pray, and because you look

928
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 4: up to those people, you'll tell them what to do,

929
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 4: even if the actual act itself is not something that

930
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 4: you're crazy about.

931
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 5: It's it's not not that I'm not crazy about it.

932
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,319
Speaker 5: It's nothing that it's too difficult. It's just that is

933
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 5: do I need to include that to get you know,

934
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 5: to have the results that I'm.

935
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 4: Having it that you know, I was asking you if

936
00:50:58,560 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 4: it provides any value?

937
00:50:59,719 --> 00:50:59,919
Speaker 2: Right?

938
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 4: So now I'll ask is it detrimental to you in

939
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 4: any way, shape or form to do these prayers?

940
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 3: Does it? Does it?

941
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:10,080
Speaker 5: Do it?

942
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 3: Does it do anything negative? You think?

943
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 5: I think, believing in something that that's not real, I

944
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:25,000
Speaker 5: don't want to. I mean, I guess what's the worst

945
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 5: that could happen? I don't know. I mean religion starts wars.

946
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 5: I don't want to be a part of something that

947
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 5: is it's going to cause harm either. I'd like to know,

948
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 5: and I don't think I can. I mean, if God's real,

949
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 5: he's not gonna let me look at this like a

950
00:51:40,640 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 5: scientist and not praise some days and try to figure

951
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 5: out this equation.

952
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:46,040
Speaker 2: I don't know.

953
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 5: Maybe he is. I feel like I'm a scientist.

954
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 4: I just I feel like this is now leaning into

955
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 4: a territory of superstition. It's like, uh, you know what

956
00:51:56,239 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 4: I'm saying right now, Like, you know, don't you You

957
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 4: pray in the same way that someone avoids walking underneath

958
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 4: the ladders just because you know they they think it

959
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,799
Speaker 4: might fuck up whatever their equilibrium is.

960
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 5: I see what you're saying. That that makes sense. I

961
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:24,360
Speaker 5: just want to know if God exists, because if he does,

962
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,399
Speaker 5: man like, I want to be on in you know.

963
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 3: But I don't think. But I don't.

964
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 4: I don't I think for you. I don't think that

965
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:32,879
Speaker 4: you're seeking religion in in.

966
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:34,799
Speaker 3: Uh, I don't.

967
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 4: I don't think that the benefit to you is the knowledge.

968
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 4: You know, the benefit is not I don't think in

969
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 4: in the knowledge or in or in being on the

970
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 4: winning team, right. The benefit is in the practice, I think,

971
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 4: And if you are not finding the benefit in the practice,

972
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 4: then it doesn't serve you that that's that's what That's

973
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:01,879
Speaker 4: sort of how I feel about religion in general. You're

974
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 4: not aiming to be on the winning team. That's not

975
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 4: a good reason to be religious, I think. But I

976
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 4: do believe that if the practice of faith is beneficial

977
00:53:13,200 --> 00:53:16,919
Speaker 4: to your life, then that's good. But again, you don't

978
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 4: want to do it just because just superstitious, superstitiously because

979
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 4: thinking like, oh, if I'm wrong, then I'm on the

980
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 4: losing team and I'm being damned in hell, you know

981
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 4: what I mean. You don't want to come at it

982
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 4: for a place of fear, from a place of I

983
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 4: want to be all in just in case. You want

984
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 4: to come at it for a place of I feel

985
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,399
Speaker 4: good when I pray, I feel good being a.

986
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 3: Part of this, I feel good practicing this.

987
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 5: I see what you're saying. Yeah, I mean, it's just

988
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 5: I don't want to I don't want to go back

989
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 5: to hell because that's where I felt like I was,

990
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 5: and you know, and if I can become happy, I

991
00:53:59,760 --> 00:54:03,279
Speaker 5: can help some people along the way, you know.

992
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 3: But I don't think you.

993
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 4: That's what That's the thing is, I think that these

994
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:19,320
Speaker 4: these all right, so you as yourself are going to

995
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,880
Speaker 4: be the one to go out into the world and

996
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 4: help people and do these things that you want to do.

997
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 4: And the religion can be a tool to sort of

998
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:35,280
Speaker 4: fill your vessel, right only if it is beneficial to

999
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 4: to you. But you're at the end of the day,

1000
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 4: you are the one that's going to go out and

1001
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:42,840
Speaker 4: and you know, be be, be helpful to other people,

1002
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,400
Speaker 4: you know, and you don't you don't need anything to

1003
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 4: do that.

1004
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:46,720
Speaker 3: You have yourself.

1005
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 4: You have it, you have currently in your possession everything

1006
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 4: that you need to do what you want to do.

1007
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,360
Speaker 4: If what you want to do is, you know, go

1008
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 4: out and and help people. I don't think that you

1009
00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 4: need anything else.

1010
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 3: You know, you don't.

1011
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,280
Speaker 4: You don't need to worry like, oh, if I'm wrong

1012
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,560
Speaker 4: about believing in God, I won't be able to help people.

1013
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 4: You know, I think that's far fetched, you know, but

1014
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 4: I hope, I hope I'm understanding you correctly.

1015
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 8: You know.

1016
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 5: It's the weird thing about my story is is that

1017
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:21,360
Speaker 5: I've always wanted to help people, you know, I've always

1018
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:26,040
Speaker 5: I've always wanted to not you know, be depressed and

1019
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 5: over eat and and and all these things where I

1020
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 5: can't function. You know, I can hold down a job,

1021
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 5: but I literally can't function. And I proved time and

1022
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:38,359
Speaker 5: time again that I'm literally powerless over this ship. So

1023
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 5: so me, I'm learning that me on my own, I

1024
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 5: can't do this ship. So it's like, you know, you

1025
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:47,840
Speaker 5: just make you know, some people can just make a

1026
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 5: decision and get up in the morning and go do

1027
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 5: what they have to do. But I'm just like, I

1028
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:54,760
Speaker 5: got nothing to offer.

1029
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 3: I got there's something, there's there's nothing wrong, there's nothing

1030
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 3: wrong with needing help.

1031
00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 4: And I get that the idea of it is that

1032
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 4: you you know, submit yourself to a higher power, but

1033
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:05,680
Speaker 4: your high But I also I am willing to believe

1034
00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 4: that that higher power does not necessarily have to be

1035
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 4: God in the traditional way that you think about it,

1036
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 4: like giving yourself up to a higher power. I I

1037
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 4: think that could just mean like checking yourself into rehab,

1038
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:22,719
Speaker 4: like you know, going out to see counseling, you know,

1039
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 4: seek seeking help. I don't believe in in a higher

1040
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:30,320
Speaker 4: power specifically defined as believing in God.

1041
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 5: I think that's why I like because it definitely defined

1042
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:41,800
Speaker 5: something greater than yourself. Doesn't have to be any specific god,

1043
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 5: religion or anything. But it's just, you know, it's just

1044
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 5: kind of saying that you're not God. You're not responsible

1045
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 5: for the moon and the stars, are you? Because if

1046
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 5: you think that, and I've thought that, you know, I thought,

1047
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 5: that gets so freaking manic. I have I have. I

1048
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:02,279
Speaker 5: have thought Iowa was God, I was Jesus. You know,

1049
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 5: the mania of it all, and it's a scary place

1050
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 5: to be in.

1051
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:14,680
Speaker 4: Well, man, have you gotten help? Have you gotten you know,

1052
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,800
Speaker 4: gone to a counselor gone to a real therapist that's

1053
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 4: not a gecko person?

1054
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 5: Before that I have done. I have done lots of

1055
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 5: counseling before. I haven't had much help in the therapy

1056
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 5: ask that. But like I said, this, this one trick

1057
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,479
Speaker 5: of the book, this this getting on my knees thing,

1058
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 5: seems to be the thing that really works for me.

1059
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 4: And again, like I said, I feel, like I said,

1060
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:47,720
Speaker 4: if it's working for you, it's working for you, you know,

1061
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:50,760
Speaker 4: and if the act of doing it is working for you,

1062
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:52,960
Speaker 4: that's it. You don't have to I think that's it, right.

1063
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 4: I don't think you have to worry about whether or

1064
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 4: not it's real because the act of doing it is

1065
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 4: working for you.

1066
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 5: Oh but my human nature wants to overthink it though,

1067
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 5: and it's always going to I always got to question

1068
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 5: these things. Man.

1069
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:06,200
Speaker 4: Sure, there's nothing wrong with that, But I that that's

1070
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:08,400
Speaker 4: kind of what I would say. I think, you know,

1071
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 4: the act of doing it is working for you, and

1072
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 4: you know you can.

1073
00:58:13,720 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 3: I think you can. I think you can.

1074
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 4: Question it in a more philosophical sense on top of that,

1075
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:26,320
Speaker 4: But I wouldn't fuck it. But I wouldn't like replace

1076
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 4: the fact that it's working for you with wondering if

1077
00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 4: it's real. I have to make sense because I I

1078
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 4: I think you should take comfort in the fact that

1079
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 4: it's working for you. It's like, Okay, this is working

1080
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:42,439
Speaker 4: for me, But I also have my own healthy doubts

1081
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:43,960
Speaker 4: about whether or not, you know, God.

1082
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 5: Exists, right, Yeah, it's still a work in progress.

1083
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 4: You know.

1084
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:57,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, And it's a day at a time, that's all.

1085
00:58:57,160 --> 00:59:01,000
Speaker 5: I know. I can't explain it. It is you can't

1086
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 5: explain it until you actually see the difference. And it's

1087
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:08,000
Speaker 5: and I just I just don't know how to explain it,

1088
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:08,360
Speaker 5: you know.

1089
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 3: I Yeah, what would you say? Your name was man.

1090
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 4: Uh, Bryant, well listen, Brian, Uh you know, thank you

1091
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 4: for calling in man, and uh you know.

1092
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 3: Best of luck to you all right. Yeah, uh, don't

1093
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:26,400
Speaker 3: drive yourself crazy.

1094
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:30,919
Speaker 5: Yeah that's a stretch, but I'm sorry.

1095
00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:33,960
Speaker 3: You take care of man. You have a good rest

1096
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 3: of the night.

1097
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:35,439
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1098
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 3: Look he'll be too, baby boy, love be too. What

1099
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 3: is love all from?

1100
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:48,240
Speaker 7: B B?

1101
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 8: Holy fuck?

1102
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I know it's crazy. It's crazy, dude.

1103
00:59:56,800 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 3: What's everything?

1104
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 8: I'm gonna I'm gonna discorded call with my friends right now.

1105
01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 8: Hold on the easy.

1106
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 3: Oh you want to go a call with your friends? Yeah?

1107
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 8: And they got they got banned from the chat. I'm

1108
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 8: pretty sure.

1109
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 3: What the what the fuck did they do? Why did

1110
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:13,919
Speaker 3: they get banned from the chat?

1111
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 8: I think they said, uh, come too many times.

1112
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 3: They got banned.

1113
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 8: They got timed out, they got timed out, and I

1114
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,200
Speaker 8: think I think Ronan got timed out and DomU got banned,

1115
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 8: so they I don't know too many to count, I guess,

1116
01:00:43,120 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 8: But you know what, it was fine. We were laughing,

1117
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:46,959
Speaker 8: we were having a good time.

1118
01:00:48,520 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 4: You haven't gotten banned from chat yet, have you? No?

1119
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 8: I haven't.

1120
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 9: I'm nice.

1121
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,960
Speaker 4: They're naughty, Okay, tell me so I was you know

1122
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 4: I was going to ask you. You say, Ronan is

1123
01:00:58,800 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 4: your name?

1124
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 2: Right?

1125
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 8: Yeah?

1126
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 2: Hey, geg, what's up?

1127
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:11,360
Speaker 3: Tell me everything?

1128
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 8: Do you think you were nice or naughty?

1129
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 2: Was here?

1130
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 4: I'm not a great judge of character myself, you know. Look,

1131
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 4: I know that I try not to do. I try

1132
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 4: not to make a lot of judgments because uh, only

1133
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:34,360
Speaker 4: only uh only a select few people can judge me.

1134
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:37,520
Speaker 4: And I don't consider myself to be I don't consider

1135
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:44,320
Speaker 4: that to be uh myself to be on that list nice.

1136
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 4: I mean, what does that even mean? What's your definition

1137
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,920
Speaker 4: of naughty?

1138
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 2: Mm hmm?

1139
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 8: Maybe you know what I I really don't have a

1140
01:01:56,920 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 8: good answer to that. And right now I feel so

1141
01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:04,880
Speaker 8: hypocritical because most of the people who would call in

1142
01:02:05,360 --> 01:02:07,680
Speaker 8: and not also not know the answer. I'd be bitching

1143
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 8: at them right now. I'd be on the discord call

1144
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:12,680
Speaker 8: with my friends and say you should kick these people.

1145
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:16,040
Speaker 3: M all right, So tell me about this discord call

1146
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 3: with your friends? And I want, I want what is

1147
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 3: this your first night watching the stream?

1148
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:22,439
Speaker 6: Oh?

1149
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 8: No, I I try to call in every single like

1150
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:27,000
Speaker 8: every every other.

1151
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:28,920
Speaker 3: Night, I'm and you've never gotten in before.

1152
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:31,920
Speaker 8: No, this is the first time, and you know what,

1153
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:35,160
Speaker 8: every time, I always like prepare with like some funny

1154
01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:38,560
Speaker 8: story or something. I always prepare like for you to

1155
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 8: pick up. But this is the one time I didn't.

1156
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 3: Yep, you didn't prepare. Now you don't. You don't got

1157
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:44,600
Speaker 3: shipped you?

1158
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 8: Nope, I didn't.

1159
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:49,600
Speaker 3: I'll look. I normally i'd stick to a thing. But

1160
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. Are we going to say?

1161
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:54,960
Speaker 8: No, I don't have any naughty stories. That's the problems.

1162
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 8: I mean, Like last night, I uh actually stepped on

1163
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:02,600
Speaker 8: a great like a like a recently buried grave.

1164
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 3: What were you doing hanging out by a recently buried grave?

1165
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:10,919
Speaker 8: Me and my friends went to a cemetery last night.

1166
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:13,560
Speaker 3: You and your friends are fucking weird.

1167
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:13,760
Speaker 2: Dude.

1168
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. I know I said it on

1169
01:03:15,360 --> 01:03:16,040
Speaker 3: a judge, but.

1170
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 8: No, honestly, I think I think that just made my

1171
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:23,640
Speaker 8: twenty twenty Like that was that was it? That was

1172
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 8: my highlights.

1173
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 3: No, I'm just kidding. I don't know you and your friends.

1174
01:03:28,040 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 4: I hope that they tell tell you tell your friends

1175
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 4: to send it on banned request and if I'm feeling gracious,

1176
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 4: ill unbanned depends. I have a number. I have a

1177
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,360
Speaker 4: number in my head of acceptable amount of time suspam

1178
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 4: come in the chat and if they're under that, well

1179
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 4: I'll let them back.

1180
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 8: In, Okay, I will.

1181
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 4: I'm curious though. I'm curious though, I want to know

1182
01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:53,640
Speaker 4: what you say your name was? I forgot your name?

1183
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:58,440
Speaker 4: B B what so you and so you said that?

1184
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 4: If you said that, A lot of times people get

1185
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:02,280
Speaker 4: in here and you bitch at them in the discord.

1186
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 8: Yeah, because do you and your.

1187
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:08,280
Speaker 3: Friends in the discord, like, do you like listen to

1188
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 3: the calls and like bitch about the callers?

1189
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 8: Yeah? Yeah, because now I they picked me too much,

1190
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:16,720
Speaker 8: I say, picked me?

1191
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:20,600
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll get your band from check.

1192
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 8: I don't like anybody that gets in the call that

1193
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 8: isn't me. That's that's the problem.

1194
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 3: Really, you don't like any You don't like anyone that

1195
01:04:29,000 --> 01:04:29,920
Speaker 3: gets in except for you.

1196
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, So then I find something to complain about, and

1197
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:36,080
Speaker 8: then we just have a conversation about why we don't

1198
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:36,720
Speaker 8: like the caller.

1199
01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 3: Who, uh, who have you been complaining about recently?

1200
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:46,640
Speaker 8: Like everybody that's joined the call so far in the

1201
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 8: stream of the hick guy and then the last guy.

1202
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 8: I almost fell asleep. I was so fucking bored. I

1203
01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:58,760
Speaker 8: needed my friend running to remind me that you were

1204
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 8: about to hang out so then I could spad the

1205
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 8: stand the line.

1206
01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:06,240
Speaker 3: I don't understand. But I don't understand this. How can you?

1207
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:07,840
Speaker 3: How often do you watch the String?

1208
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:12,880
Speaker 8: Like every single day? I watch when I like when

1209
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:15,920
Speaker 8: I do my homework, I listen to the stream, and

1210
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:18,640
Speaker 8: then I listen to the podcast like every time they

1211
01:05:18,680 --> 01:05:19,040
Speaker 8: come out.

1212
01:05:21,720 --> 01:05:25,400
Speaker 3: But yet you hate all the callers pretty much?

1213
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,560
Speaker 8: Yeah, because I'm just so jealous, I guess.

1214
01:05:29,640 --> 01:05:31,680
Speaker 3: Well then, okay, so how do you feel? How do

1215
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:32,840
Speaker 3: you feel now? Now?

1216
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:35,280
Speaker 4: Do you now? This is why I'm curious now having

1217
01:05:35,360 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 4: now been on the string, now that you have called

1218
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 4: in and you are you're here, you are now you

1219
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 4: now have an opportunity for greater empathy, right because you

1220
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:47,880
Speaker 4: know now what it is like to be on the string.

1221
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:50,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're right, I do.

1222
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:53,080
Speaker 8: But like I said, this is the first time I

1223
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 8: haven't prepared, like I always have some stupid story for

1224
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:59,680
Speaker 8: whatever your question is for the night, except for this.

1225
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:05,200
Speaker 8: But yeah, I do know. I'm still gonna judge. I'm

1226
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 8: not going to change because I want redemption now because

1227
01:06:11,560 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 8: I have to wait like probably months even years for

1228
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 8: me to like have something good to talk about and

1229
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:24,600
Speaker 8: then also get accepted back into the stream.

1230
01:06:25,600 --> 01:06:29,280
Speaker 4: How do you feel about the idea? In fact, how

1231
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:31,960
Speaker 4: do you feel about the I mean, let's admit the

1232
01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:36,480
Speaker 4: certainty that people listening to your call right now are

1233
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:37,000
Speaker 4: judging you.

1234
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 8: Oh yeah, they totally are. They're probably calling me a

1235
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:43,520
Speaker 8: pick me girl, which you know what I am, but

1236
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 8: only when it comes to therapy Gecko, probably complaining about

1237
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:52,360
Speaker 8: how much I'm acting like a spaz right now. They're

1238
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:58,400
Speaker 8: could be countless things, But you know what, do I care? No? Okay,

1239
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,760
Speaker 8: I'm I'm looking forward to my friends bullying me tonight

1240
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 8: about how much I messed up the call or something.

1241
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:08,640
Speaker 8: They're going to find something to make fun of me about.

1242
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:11,560
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you feel like you messed up

1243
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:11,959
Speaker 3: the call?

1244
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:17,080
Speaker 8: If I'm not into the podcast.

1245
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:20,480
Speaker 4: Then yeah, that's your barometers whether or not you make

1246
01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 4: you make it into the podcast.

1247
01:07:24,120 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 8: Probably because this is like the highlight of my twenty twenty.

1248
01:07:28,560 --> 01:07:31,720
Speaker 8: I just want to I just want to be I

1249
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:36,200
Speaker 8: feel like nobody. It's rare that people call in and

1250
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 8: are funny, and that's what I look for. So I

1251
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:42,520
Speaker 8: just I'm sad, but I can't fulfill the thing that

1252
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:43,320
Speaker 8: I'm looking for.

1253
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 4: I think you might you might have been unintentionally funny.

1254
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:50,640
Speaker 4: I think that this situation is so I think that

1255
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:53,400
Speaker 4: this topic is funny.

1256
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:55,640
Speaker 8: You know, I'm really impressed with myself that I've even

1257
01:07:55,680 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 8: made it this far.

1258
01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:00,800
Speaker 4: You're viewing this, I think you're viewing this too much

1259
01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:04,880
Speaker 4: as a game that in which there are winners and losers.

1260
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:16,200
Speaker 8: Hmm yeah maybe. But but but like at the same time,

1261
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:21,320
Speaker 8: like I just don't want to be super hypocritical, Like

1262
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:23,040
Speaker 8: I don't want to be like the people I'm making

1263
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:23,400
Speaker 8: fun of.

1264
01:08:24,560 --> 01:08:26,880
Speaker 4: Well you've okay, well then then well yeah, then you've

1265
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:32,160
Speaker 4: you've you've failed at that. But I'm still confused at

1266
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:35,559
Speaker 4: how you're able to I'm still confused with the appeal.

1267
01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:39,519
Speaker 4: Is it like, are you like hate listening to the

1268
01:08:39,600 --> 01:08:41,600
Speaker 4: stream like you enjoy.

1269
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:43,720
Speaker 3: Hating it?

1270
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 8: No?

1271
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:45,720
Speaker 4: No, no, no no.

1272
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 8: So here's the thing, is like I enjoy listening to

1273
01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 8: you talk and like what you have to say, And

1274
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:56,880
Speaker 8: it's kind of funny to see your reactions with people sometimes,

1275
01:08:56,880 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 8: like when I when I'm on the phone with Domiu

1276
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:01,360
Speaker 8: and Ronan, I'll be like, oh my god, look at him,

1277
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:03,799
Speaker 8: he's ready to hang up everybody get their phones ready,

1278
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:06,840
Speaker 8: or we'll see you like move into a position and

1279
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:09,639
Speaker 8: be like, I've never seen anyone more angry in my life.

1280
01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:12,439
Speaker 8: And you may not actually be that way, but that's

1281
01:09:12,439 --> 01:09:14,960
Speaker 8: just the way I'm perceiving you in the moment, and

1282
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,280
Speaker 8: we just like make a conversation out of it. So

1283
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,240
Speaker 8: it's super fun to like just get to talk about

1284
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 8: what's happening in the stream with my friends, and then

1285
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:26,080
Speaker 8: I listen to the stream and it makes me so productive.

1286
01:09:27,160 --> 01:09:30,719
Speaker 8: So when I'm not defly judging people, I'm blasting out

1287
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:35,520
Speaker 8: like homework while listening to the stream.

1288
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:38,400
Speaker 4: Is there a now when the calls are boring, does

1289
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:41,519
Speaker 4: it make you more productive because you're paying less attention

1290
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:44,320
Speaker 4: to the podcast and more attention to your work.

1291
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:49,120
Speaker 8: No, I don't really think it has an effect on it.

1292
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:52,479
Speaker 4: But you just said it makes you super You said

1293
01:09:52,479 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 4: the type of Paul doesn't have an effect on your productivity. Yeah, now,

1294
01:09:57,680 --> 01:10:02,240
Speaker 4: Daimu and Roman you said other names. Yeah, have I

1295
01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:03,320
Speaker 4: spoken to them before?

1296
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:05,320
Speaker 7: No, you haven't.

1297
01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:09,599
Speaker 8: I introduced you to them, and they also just told

1298
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:11,800
Speaker 8: me that the chat is blaming me, So you know

1299
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:12,880
Speaker 8: what I'm feeling pretty well?

1300
01:10:12,960 --> 01:10:14,400
Speaker 4: Of course I haven't looked at the chat. I mean,

1301
01:10:14,479 --> 01:10:17,080
Speaker 4: of course there, but you know, look, but it doesn't matter.

1302
01:10:17,760 --> 01:10:21,479
Speaker 4: The chat is not God, no one is. No one

1303
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 4: gets to decide. I'm thinking about taking away the good

1304
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:27,120
Speaker 4: call emote because I don't think anyone gets to decide

1305
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:29,360
Speaker 4: what a good call is or what a bad call is.

1306
01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 4: There's just calls, dude. There's just people talking on the phone.

1307
01:10:33,560 --> 01:10:37,280
Speaker 4: It's just a stream of a gecko man talking to

1308
01:10:37,360 --> 01:10:41,720
Speaker 4: people on the phone. There is no It is not

1309
01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:47,600
Speaker 4: a place for qualitative judgments of any kind, good or bad.

1310
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:52,760
Speaker 8: Can I ask you a questions? Of course, So I

1311
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:56,040
Speaker 8: ask this question every time I meet someone, and it

1312
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 8: kind of like helps me form an opinion on them.

1313
01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:01,400
Speaker 8: But it's gonna seem very juvenile.

1314
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:06,640
Speaker 4: But Scooby or Shaggy, I I'll answer this, But are

1315
01:11:06,680 --> 01:11:08,320
Speaker 4: you prepared to answer a follow up question?

1316
01:11:10,120 --> 01:11:14,080
Speaker 8: Yeah? Wait, wait, wait, but only if I like, you

1317
01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:15,360
Speaker 8: know what, Yeah, just go with it.

1318
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:18,880
Speaker 3: Shit, I'm gonna go with Shaggy.

1319
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:20,120
Speaker 8: Okay, thank god?

1320
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:22,360
Speaker 3: Oh okay, all.

1321
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:24,160
Speaker 4: Right now, all right, this is my follow up question.

1322
01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:27,679
Speaker 4: Why what information does this give you about a person

1323
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:30,439
Speaker 4: in which you feel qualified to then make form and

1324
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,400
Speaker 4: opinion about them?

1325
01:11:33,520 --> 01:11:36,439
Speaker 8: Well, it started out like I used to ask this

1326
01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:40,519
Speaker 8: question when I would like meet a guy, like in

1327
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:43,120
Speaker 8: the summer, if I would like meet a guy, I'd

1328
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:45,479
Speaker 8: ask for their snap and I'd be like, when I

1329
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:47,680
Speaker 8: got it, I'd say Scooby or Shaggy, And if they

1330
01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:50,280
Speaker 8: said Scooby, I would just unadd them. That's how I

1331
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:56,920
Speaker 8: filtered out who I liked and who I didn't. If

1332
01:11:56,920 --> 01:12:02,120
Speaker 8: they said Shaggy, I would give them my time. And

1333
01:12:02,160 --> 01:12:04,519
Speaker 8: then I started looking into it myself and I and

1334
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:08,639
Speaker 8: I thought, well, my ideal type of guy is like Shaggy, right,

1335
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:11,240
Speaker 8: best type of guy that there is, and you know

1336
01:12:11,320 --> 01:12:16,080
Speaker 8: it's Scooby. He just he just like sits back and

1337
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:20,240
Speaker 8: is like, you know, he's just he's unnecessary.

1338
01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:23,439
Speaker 5: He just is.

1339
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:26,280
Speaker 3: How is your dating Saggy is God?

1340
01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:29,679
Speaker 8: You said there's no God. No, that's that's not possible.

1341
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,080
Speaker 8: He said something about that.

1342
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:33,479
Speaker 3: I say all kinds of things. How how is your

1343
01:12:33,560 --> 01:12:34,160
Speaker 3: dating life?

1344
01:12:35,960 --> 01:12:37,120
Speaker 7: How do you think ship?

1345
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:37,400
Speaker 3: It is?

1346
01:12:37,439 --> 01:12:40,479
Speaker 7: Pretty well?

1347
01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:45,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, but you know what, I have high standards, and

1348
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:46,439
Speaker 8: I don't care.

1349
01:12:46,800 --> 01:12:49,120
Speaker 4: You don't have high stand you have you have standards

1350
01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:52,080
Speaker 4: that you know there's those are not those standards don't

1351
01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:53,320
Speaker 4: make it any sense?

1352
01:12:55,560 --> 01:12:59,280
Speaker 8: Well, I don't really like talking to people like, like,

1353
01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:03,439
Speaker 8: I'm not really like good at like cause I don't know,

1354
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:06,400
Speaker 8: I'm not good at talking to multiple people at once,

1355
01:13:06,680 --> 01:13:08,760
Speaker 8: like I can if I'm like if I have like

1356
01:13:08,800 --> 01:13:12,439
Speaker 8: an alternate, No, okay, I can't. I can't talk to

1357
01:13:12,560 --> 01:13:16,800
Speaker 8: somebody who I'm interested in and then like be like,

1358
01:13:16,880 --> 01:13:18,720
Speaker 8: then go to talk to somebody else, Like I can

1359
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:20,640
Speaker 8: only talk to one person at a time if I

1360
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:24,960
Speaker 8: have the intent on like dating them or something, I

1361
01:13:25,240 --> 01:13:28,400
Speaker 8: can't do more than one person. So then if they

1362
01:13:28,439 --> 01:13:30,640
Speaker 8: say Scooby, then I can get rid of them and

1363
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:34,120
Speaker 8: find like it just makes that easier.

1364
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,519
Speaker 3: I guess this, This is your litmus test?

1365
01:13:39,520 --> 01:13:39,600
Speaker 8: My?

1366
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:41,759
Speaker 3: What is your litmus test?

1367
01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:42,479
Speaker 2: Do you know?

1368
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:46,320
Speaker 4: A litmus test is? Uh uh, all right, you're gonna

1369
01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:47,720
Speaker 4: have to google because I don't know how to explain it.

1370
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:50,719
Speaker 4: But your litmus tests is scaggy set shaggy or Scooby?

1371
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:52,280
Speaker 7: Got it?

1372
01:13:55,560 --> 01:13:56,240
Speaker 4: I think?

1373
01:13:57,840 --> 01:13:58,880
Speaker 3: Do you have you ever?

1374
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:03,560
Speaker 4: Have you been to a real therapist before? No, just

1375
01:14:03,640 --> 01:14:05,479
Speaker 4: go to a real therapist. See what they have to

1376
01:14:05,520 --> 01:14:07,240
Speaker 4: say about this. Because I don't know how much of

1377
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:09,280
Speaker 4: you are. I don't know, if you're meming right now,

1378
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:11,800
Speaker 4: how much of you is meming or how much of

1379
01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:14,760
Speaker 4: you know this is who you actually are? But I

1380
01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:17,479
Speaker 4: I think I think you should reevaluate parts of this

1381
01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:22,360
Speaker 4: because that does How do you feel about this? How

1382
01:14:22,360 --> 01:14:26,640
Speaker 4: do you feel about your dating situation? I mean, I

1383
01:14:26,960 --> 01:14:28,120
Speaker 4: just probably larger than that.

1384
01:14:28,920 --> 01:14:34,559
Speaker 8: But well, getting people has never really been a problem

1385
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:39,519
Speaker 8: for me. It's more liking them is. I don't have

1386
01:14:39,560 --> 01:14:41,440
Speaker 8: a problem with my dating life.

1387
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:43,080
Speaker 2: But may.

1388
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:48,960
Speaker 8: No, I mean no, I just don't. I just I

1389
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:52,840
Speaker 8: just have been pretty It's been pretty uneventful.

1390
01:14:55,280 --> 01:14:57,000
Speaker 4: I think what you well, what you need is someone

1391
01:14:57,000 --> 01:15:01,880
Speaker 4: who's a bigger asshole than you are. You need child, Yeah,

1392
01:15:02,920 --> 01:15:05,880
Speaker 4: you need to find someone who is a bigger.

1393
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:06,240
Speaker 3: Douche than you.

1394
01:15:09,720 --> 01:15:11,519
Speaker 8: That might be hard, though, I don't know if there is.

1395
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:12,839
Speaker 8: I'm pretty bitchy.

1396
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:17,080
Speaker 4: I don't know where does one go to find other

1397
01:15:17,120 --> 01:15:19,879
Speaker 4: people who are who are who are also kind of bitchy?

1398
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:25,759
Speaker 4: Do you think that would witch here? Bitchy people? You

1399
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:27,840
Speaker 4: you you need one of two people. I think you're

1400
01:15:27,880 --> 01:15:29,160
Speaker 4: only it's like a work for you with one of

1401
01:15:29,200 --> 01:15:32,599
Speaker 4: two kinds of people, either someone who's a way worse

1402
01:15:32,680 --> 01:15:37,320
Speaker 4: than you or like a VI or or the complete opposite,

1403
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:38,679
Speaker 4: just a very.

1404
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:46,640
Speaker 3: Very meek, you know, weaker man, But you won't. You

1405
01:15:46,640 --> 01:15:47,400
Speaker 3: wouldn't like that.

1406
01:15:49,800 --> 01:15:51,559
Speaker 8: I would, I would, I think I would.

1407
01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:54,320
Speaker 3: But just someone who, like you know, is going to

1408
01:15:54,360 --> 01:15:55,080
Speaker 3: take your ship.

1409
01:15:56,439 --> 01:16:00,120
Speaker 8: Yeah, here's here's the thing is. I think I do

1410
01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:02,760
Speaker 8: know people who are more of a douchebag than I am.

1411
01:16:02,880 --> 01:16:06,360
Speaker 8: But they're all like dragets, like I hate them, Like

1412
01:16:06,400 --> 01:16:06,760
Speaker 8: they're like.

1413
01:16:06,760 --> 01:16:12,720
Speaker 9: They're all like the same type of parlem Like like

1414
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:17,200
Speaker 9: some guy who like probably played basketball or football in

1415
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:23,720
Speaker 9: high school, wears only hoodies and sweatpants, listens to Kanye.

1416
01:16:23,479 --> 01:16:26,320
Speaker 8: West in the weekend and nothing else, and has the

1417
01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:30,240
Speaker 8: most unoriginal personality.

1418
01:16:30,360 --> 01:16:32,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys would be perfect for each other.

1419
01:16:32,960 --> 01:16:37,640
Speaker 8: No, I want someone to have, like some decent interest.

1420
01:16:38,479 --> 01:16:41,200
Speaker 3: What are you? What are your interests?

1421
01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:43,320
Speaker 8: I like music a lot.

1422
01:16:43,840 --> 01:16:53,480
Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, I've played the Yeah, well I played.

1423
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:56,040
Speaker 8: Bass, and then I really like movies and I like

1424
01:16:56,439 --> 01:16:59,759
Speaker 8: I love to travel, but I haven't recently because of COVID.

1425
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:04,880
Speaker 8: I go to Europe a lot because I have friends

1426
01:17:04,880 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 8: and family there.

1427
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:17,719
Speaker 4: I like, I think chas like travel, music, what else.

1428
01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:23,479
Speaker 8: Mm hmm, I don't know. Me and my friends are

1429
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:28,280
Speaker 8: really into photography. We have a whole account. Everyone followed

1430
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:34,839
Speaker 8: Twins on Instagram. Please follow Grasshopper Twinks on Instagram. Please.

1431
01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:44,519
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that you should find a boring douchey

1432
01:17:44,680 --> 01:17:49,519
Speaker 4: man mm hmmmm, and then you two can have a toxic,

1433
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:54,720
Speaker 4: beautiful relationship where you hate each other but you but

1434
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:58,880
Speaker 4: you'll like that because look, some people are wired such

1435
01:17:58,920 --> 01:18:02,720
Speaker 4: and such that they enjoy. They just revel in and

1436
01:18:02,960 --> 01:18:07,200
Speaker 4: enjoy drama and toxicity. And look, I am over, I

1437
01:18:07,240 --> 01:18:11,360
Speaker 4: have no I people are wired in all sorts of

1438
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:16,640
Speaker 4: crazy ways. You know, So who am I to? You know,

1439
01:18:17,520 --> 01:18:22,400
Speaker 4: you know, cast judgment upon someone else's uh wiring, But

1440
01:18:23,200 --> 01:18:25,439
Speaker 4: you know, you just got to find someone else who

1441
01:18:25,479 --> 01:18:30,040
Speaker 4: who you can you can hate and they'll hate you

1442
01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:33,320
Speaker 4: and but and you'll enjoy it because you can revel

1443
01:18:33,400 --> 01:18:37,439
Speaker 4: in that toxicity and that will feed you.

1444
01:18:38,960 --> 01:18:41,360
Speaker 3: You can tell me anything I think.

1445
01:18:41,520 --> 01:18:45,120
Speaker 8: I think I agree with you, mm hmm. And mostly

1446
01:18:45,160 --> 01:18:47,479
Speaker 8: because last night when I was out with my friends,

1447
01:18:47,479 --> 01:18:50,840
Speaker 8: we we all took those BDSM tests in a in

1448
01:18:50,880 --> 01:18:55,360
Speaker 8: a home deeper bathroom. I wish I'm chipking right now,

1449
01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:59,800
Speaker 8: but and like my results basically match with what you say.

1450
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:02,680
Speaker 8: Oh incorrect?

1451
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:07,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, except who you are if you're you can do

1452
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:10,439
Speaker 4: one when you're if you don't like your If you

1453
01:19:10,960 --> 01:19:13,640
Speaker 4: don't like yourself, you have two paths, and I don't know,

1454
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:15,760
Speaker 4: if you don't like yourself, you might have completed one

1455
01:19:15,800 --> 01:19:17,760
Speaker 4: of these paths. You can either change yourself or you

1456
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:21,720
Speaker 4: can accept yourself. You don't have any but and you

1457
01:19:21,760 --> 01:19:24,360
Speaker 4: do whichever one of those is more appealing to you.

1458
01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:27,400
Speaker 4: And I think what's more appealing to you is to

1459
01:19:27,439 --> 01:19:33,719
Speaker 4: continue being this, you know, being well, you know whatever

1460
01:19:33,760 --> 01:19:36,840
Speaker 4: you are, so you know, look except that you're kind

1461
01:19:36,840 --> 01:19:39,479
Speaker 4: of toxic, and you'll be happier.

1462
01:19:41,439 --> 01:19:43,720
Speaker 8: Yeah, okay, you.

1463
01:19:45,320 --> 01:19:47,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think you can too.

1464
01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:49,320
Speaker 2: Well.

1465
01:19:49,360 --> 01:19:55,599
Speaker 3: Listen, B. You know, I appreciate you calling in. I

1466
01:19:55,640 --> 01:19:57,000
Speaker 3: hope that I hope that.

1467
01:19:58,920 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 2: You know.

1468
01:19:59,200 --> 01:20:00,880
Speaker 3: I hope that you now I'll have a.

1469
01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:06,360
Speaker 4: Greater perspective, uh, for the callers on this program, and I

1470
01:20:06,479 --> 01:20:10,519
Speaker 4: hope that it INFORBS, your your judgments upon them moving forward.

1471
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:14,720
Speaker 4: And if it doesn't, then that's fine too.

1472
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:19,880
Speaker 8: Yeah it probably won't. But you know what, I'll call

1473
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:22,760
Speaker 8: in and the next time you accept me, I'll let

1474
01:20:22,760 --> 01:20:25,439
Speaker 8: you know if I've changed, if I become a better person.

1475
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:30,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait for it. I'll talk to you soon.

1476
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:32,360
Speaker 3: Be appreciate you. You have a merry.

1477
01:20:32,439 --> 01:20:40,440
Speaker 8: Pronicle, happy get mess, never goes.

1478
01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:43,599
Speaker 5: On the line, making your own calls every night, never

1479
01:20:44,280 --> 01:20:45,240
Speaker 5: goes aside.

1480
01:20:45,360 --> 01:20:47,479
Speaker 1: He's teaching you cud of your life.