WEBVTT - Honesty Is Sexy 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.800 You gotta keep going because there is something there. There's 0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:04.720 always something there, because I think a lot of people, 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:12.200 specifically men. Sorry men, but y'all be really disassociated from 0:00:12.280 --> 0:00:17.000 your fucking energetic body, like so dissociated from it. I 0:00:17.040 --> 0:00:19.640 know where it comes from, I think with black men, 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:21.360 but I know that this is not even just a 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:24.200 black thing. Like I know that, yes, maybe white men 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:26.759 have a like more more free range to kind of 0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:31.600 maybe explore the nuances of this kind of practice and 0:00:31.720 --> 0:00:35.239 like really thinking about their feelings and like why they 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:39.240 do certain things. But my white home girls, they got 0:00:39.280 --> 0:01:04.320 issues with their niggas too. Welcome back to good Mom's 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:05.240 bad Choices. 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:08.640 I'm Erica and I'm Jamila. 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:10.800 Happy Wednesday, guys. 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:14.400 Happy Humpday, my lovely tribe. What's going on? 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:16.600 Well, what's going. 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:20.400 On is that it is sexy September. 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:23.800 You hear that it's sexy September, So we'll be using 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:27.039 our sexy voices all September long. 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:31.440 I think our voices are just naturally sexy. Anyway, someone 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:33.520 said that to me the other day. They were like, 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:36.000 you have a very sexy voice. It's very soothing, And 0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.720 I was like, thank you, Hank. He was about seventy 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:39.120 two years. 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:40.800 Did you say, Hank, I'm a podcaster. 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:43.679 I did, and maybe that's why he said that. After 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:46.520 he found that out, he started really focusing on my voice, 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:48.120 and I was like, thank you. 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:50.800 Well, I was listening to our episode and a headphones 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:52.840 not too long ago, and I was talking. And now 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:55.160 for years, I don't listen to episodes because I hate 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:57.960 my voice. But I was like, it's sound kind of sexy. 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:00.160 It took five and a half years to fay hear 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:06.840 that out, Well, thank you, just thank you. 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:10.200 Welcome to Sexy September, guys, and I want to encourage 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:15.200 you to tap into your most sexy sensual self. So 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.440 if you're listening right now and you're on YouTube and 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:21.560 it's nighttime, why don't you just pause the YouTube right now, 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:25.240 go light a candle, go get an incense, because we're 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:29.120 gonna get sexy sexual sex. 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:34.360 I don't know how to follow up with that, so 0:02:34.400 --> 0:02:35.240 I just went for it. 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:38.640 I'm hoping we're going to keep the sexy vibes because 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:40.200 I just pulled a card at the beginning of this 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:44.560 episode that looks quite terrifying. I asked Spirit to tell 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:47.480 me what to do, and it pulled this very scary 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:50.280 card that we'll revisit at the end of this episode. 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:52.840 But fuck fuck. 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:58.760 Fuck well, you know what they say, no matter what's 0:02:58.840 --> 0:02:59.960 going on, keep us up. 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:03.320 I'm'ma making Luke six. 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:07.480 I'm gonna make it. I'm bringing sexy back. 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:16.200 Speaking of sexy, I did something sexy or yeah, it 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:21.080 was sexy over the weekend. Last weekend, I attended a 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:21.840 naked dinner. 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:23.519 Oh yeah, how was that? 0:03:24.680 --> 0:03:25.440 It was interesting? 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.800 You know, I had been seeing this naked dinner circulate 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:30.600 on Instagram and. 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:31.920 I was like, this is so, were you the one 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:32.960 that sent it to me? Or did I send it 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:33.079 to you? 0:03:33.200 --> 0:03:34.680 I've never seen it. I was like this, I think 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:36.560 I sent it to me. Why why haven't I heard 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:36.680 of this? 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:37.680 Oh you sent it to me? 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:38.560 I think I sent it to you. 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:40.760 And then and then of course, once you do that, 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:43.560 then like my my fee just kept the robots, just 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:48.120 bring it to you. And so I ended up following 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.400 the founder and then she invited me and it was 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:52.720 like the next day and I was like, oh shit, okay, fuck. 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:53.760 It, let's do it and have my kid. 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:59.000 And I really didn't know what to expect except that 0:03:59.040 --> 0:04:02.320 I was gonna be naked and so before I went, 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:04.400 I was like, Okay, let me get in my like sexy, 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.800 sexy energy. So I put on something sexy, I took 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:08.840 like a long. 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.160 Shower, I shaved. 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:15.120 And and then I had a glass of wine before 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:17.640 I left, and like for once in for once in 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:19.880 my life. The event was actually like five minutes from 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:22.680 my house, maybe ten, which never happens because no one 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:23.840 throws events in the valley. 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:25.880 So I was very excited about that. 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.280 And then I pulled up to the space and I 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:33.720 had like six inch clear platforms on. 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:34.560 Well, what did you bring right now? 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:34.640 No? 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:37.800 No, these are these are like baby, not kitten. You 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:39.680 know if I think if they're not six inches they're kitten. 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:41.440 Bitch these I just want to I just want to 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.839 show these. These are not kitten. I just want kitchen. Guys, 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.719 you're looking at YouTube. These are strong three and a. 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.640 Half inches four Anyway, wait I did, I did. I 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:53.440 did a kick and then I exposed my panties. But 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:57.040 then like, look at my panties. If you want to 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:57.440 see my. 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:00.360 Panties this week, go to YouTube. 0:05:01.880 --> 0:05:05.240 So anyway, it was at the top of the fucking driveway, 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:07.159 so I had to climb the driveway so that was 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:07.680 not sexy. 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:09.520 Okay, they's not prepared. It was not prepared for that. 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:14.240 And then I entered and then I was greeted by 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:16.960 a man, so I was like, WHOA hold up. I 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:18.840 wasn't expecting that because I didn't know they were going 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:20.200 to be men. Here was he naked? 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:23.400 No, he was at his computer in full attire like 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:24.280 a fucking turtle neck. 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:25.480 Basically was there her boyfriend. 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:28.599 I don't know who this man was, but I was like, okay, 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.360 this is interesting. So then he was like, yeah, yeah, 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:33.680 go in there, and I was like okay. When I 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:36.200 went in there, and then I walked in and everyone 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:39.440 was already button naked. But I had a shock because 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.640 I was like, what the fuck there's there's naked men 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:43.480 here and I didn't know they're gonna be naked men, 0:05:43.600 --> 0:05:44.559 which is fine. 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:46.120 I'm like I can get what I can? You know, 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:47.000 switch gears quick? 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.640 I have a question? Naked as in their dicks were out? Yeah? 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:50.360 What else? 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:52.880 Is what I mean? I don't know. 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:55.240 I feel like as a topless expert, I feel like 0:05:55.240 --> 0:06:01.200 like partial notities, like everything being nude is like easily digestible. 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:03.320 Then like when you see a dick, yeah, it's like, 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:05.719 oh okay, because it's just like slang in you know, 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:08.360 like what even the pussy for people can be aggressive, 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:10.560 you know, like okay, you're pussy's out, but like a 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:13.120 dick is like, hey, I'm over here between the legs. 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:15.520 Well it's because like when you see dicks, you automatically 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:18.600 like looking at sizing, where like with pussy you're not 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:19.360 looking at sizing. 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.640 We have to undo our mannishness. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.839 Yeah. Yeah, basically that's what it was. But I wasn't. 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:27.800 I also wasn't prepared because on Instagram, I only see 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:30.240 women on their page, so I was not prepared to 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.680 see dicks. So I said, oh, okay, well good thing. 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:35.880 Like I'm you like, I'm used to being naked all 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.960 the time, and also like I don't really care, but 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:41.600 I don't know if maybe I didn't read the fine print, 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:41.919 I don't know. 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:45.400 Whatever, it was fine, and. 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:48.520 So we all got naked and and we just like 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:52.760 hung out by the pool and then we then we 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:56.919 all gathered around the pool and one of the hosts, 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:00.000 which I was, so I was like very happily surprised. 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:01.679 This girl Li LIHI. 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:05.720 I think her name is Lehi, and she is a 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:08.159 breath work expert. But she's one of the teachers on 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.400 the Open App. And you know, we've talked about the 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:12.840 Open App. We did the Open Challenge earlier this year 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:16.640 in January, thirty Days of Meditation, and I'm obsessed with 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:19.440 the app, like I still use it now. And she 0:07:19.640 --> 0:07:23.480 led us through this breath work exercise. And you know, 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:26.480 I've done some breath work, but even on the Open App, 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.200 like I've explored breath work. I think I talked about 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.000 it one time I started to do breathwork in the 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.200 car and I realized this was a really bad idea. 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:33.840 You should not do breathwork living. 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:36.760 Yeah, so if you're listening right now, because I wanted 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:40.440 to explain the process of what we experience because it 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:44.480 was really transformational for me even in that even that experience, 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:46.520 because it wasn't a long breath work session. It was 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:51.200 maybe like maybe maybe ten or fifteen minutes. But she 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:54.800 like guided us through this three part breath work which 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.880 is basically like you like you bring the breath into 0:07:57.920 --> 0:07:59.360 your stomach, then you bring it into your chest and 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:00.040 you release, like. 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:06.960 And you just yeah, so. 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:09.360 If you put your so if you're not driving right now, 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.480 and you put your hand on your belly, and you 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:14.679 put your hand on your chest. You want to breathe 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:18.280 into your stomach, so and then you want to breathe 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:30.760 into your chest, right and so open. One of the 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.120 things that they're really famous for, and they're like the 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:36.040 pioneers of is marrying breathwork with music. 0:08:36.840 --> 0:08:38.800 So that's what she did too. So she led us 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.280 through this breath work with music. 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:42.240 So the music kind of started off slow so that 0:08:42.280 --> 0:08:46.920 you were like, but then it'll speed up, so then 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:50.959 you're like, and then you'll hold at the top and 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:52.600 then you'll hold at the bottom. And she was guiding 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:55.439 us through. So the theme of the night was the 0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:57.560 yes within, and so she was guiding us through like 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:59.160 what that meant and what that looks like and what 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.800 that feels like and bitch, at the end, I was 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:03.440 fucking hysterically crying. 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:04.920 Oh I know. 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.520 I was like, I didn't. I was not expecting that. 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:10.800 It was just like it reminded me too, because we 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.920 actually did do a really deep breathwork exercise in Costa Rica, 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:16.520 remember when we did the whim Hoff broth work before 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:18.959 we did the ice bath, And that shit was crazy 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:21.760 because breathwork can literally make you feel like you're hot, 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:25.600 like it will open up some other shit in your brain, 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:30.600 Like I don't think meditation can do this. It's literally 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:33.440 like you're on drugs kind of. And and that's what 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:35.400 I felt like starting to happen while I was in 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:37.400 this process, and it was like I was, it kind 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:41.000 of clears out, clears all the bullshit out of the 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:43.120 way so you can get to whatever it is that 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:46.800 maybe you're avoiding or you're trying to focus on. And 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:50.400 so that experience was really that was probably the best 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:51.959 part of the whole the whole night for me. It 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:53.959 was the breath work. So shout out to Lehi of 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:54.680 the Open App. 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:55.920 I love the open app. 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:58.120 So I can imagine in real life like it's like 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:01.040 she's with you, like the instructors are with you when 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:01.480 you play it. 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:03.160 But I can imagine doing it in a group setting. 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:04.080 It's probably dope. 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.720 Yeah, And the music with it was really it really 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:10.480 helps you help support the process. And it was just 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.280 the bomb. And the open app is still giving. If 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:15.559 you haven't joined the open app, definitely join it. You 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:18.320 can still use our discount. If you go to withopen 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:23.000 dot Com slash GNBC you'll get thirty days free, So 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:23.960 do that shit. 0:10:24.080 --> 0:10:26.280 It's an easy way to challenge yourself. So just commit 0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:27.920 to something for thirty days and just see how it 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:28.520 makes you feel. 0:10:28.640 --> 0:10:31.920 Yeah, and I like the energy reset breathwork, but they 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:35.680 have meditation on there, they have movement. They even have 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.000 because now after I did that breathwork with her, I 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:41.520 was like, let me go explore the breathwork part of 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:44.920 Open More. And they actually added this new section and 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:49.000 it's for what is it called. It's like for release 0:10:49.120 --> 0:10:52.480 or something. And literally they have breathwork where you can scream. 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:53.640 You know, that's our thing. 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:55.360 You know. I love that shit. And so I did 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:56.560 it in my house and they were. 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:58.000 Like, now, okay, now get a pillow and put it 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:01.120 over your face so you don't scare your neighbors. But 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.200 you just I think we take for granted, like how 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:07.920 powerful breath is and like how breath and sound really 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:11.920 are healers. And you have to get that shit out 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:14.800 of your body. Sometimes you can fucking meditate for days 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.079 and days, it ain't shit gonna happen. You like, literally 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:20.800 have to get something out of you. So shout out 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:23.440 to Open because a bitch was crying by the pool 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:24.000 with a bunch. 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:24.480 Of naked people. 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:26.160 I mean, you're vulnerable. 0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:30.240 I mean, I you guys, I'm almost I'm two months 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:34.920 away from being a Tantric practitioner, and I'm so excited. 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:35.840 I'm feeling really excited. 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:38.920 I've been taking some trial clients and you know, like 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:41.240 deepening my practice. But one of the things that we're 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:45.080 learning is that like are are like energetic and spiritual 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.760 bodies govern our physical bodies. Like that's the belief in 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:53.640 this lineage of Tantra that I'm I'm studying. And sometimes 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:56.720 they like not sometimes things live in our bodies on 0:11:56.760 --> 0:11:58.800 a cellular level, on an energetic level that we are 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:01.120 not even aware of. So there's trauma, like maybe someone 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.680 said something like small to you, or someone insulted you 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:04.959 and you thought you got over, or maybe you don't 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:07.280 even remember, but it lives in stores in your body 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:10.600 and creates blocks, you know, energetic blocks that manifest physically, 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:13.320 and that could be like tight shoulders or backs or 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:17.160 you know, chest pain or whatever it may be. But 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.520 we don't because we're living such a Western world. We 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:24.120 don't give that a lot of attention. Like our medical 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:29.440 systems are so deeply ingrained in you know, like pharmaceuticals 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:32.600 and like take this prescription drug. But the truth is 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:37.000 is like breath, the simplest things, movement, breath, meditation, those 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:39.679 are the ways to clear those blocks that we're unaware of, 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:43.600 those subconscious that those ones that live on a subconscious level. 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:48.040 So definitely, like that makes sense. I mean, the craziest 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:51.480 thing about I'm just thinking about our entire catalog and 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.840 just us starting this at like twenty nine and now 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.880 we're thirty five, and I'm like, oh, i want to 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:00.920 do my own naked dinner, but I'll do it like this. 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:03.080 I'm like, everyone's gonna start clothed, and then I'm like, 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.320 that has been such a long day. Remove one item 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.440 and think about letting something go that you took on today. 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:13.000 Remove one clothing of item, one clothing item, and think 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:15.280 about the energetic release you'll have when that happens. But 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:16.439 I'm like, there was a time where I'd be like, 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:17.880 what the fuck are you talking about? 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:18.160 Bitch? 0:13:19.120 --> 0:13:21.559 They said some white people shit, Like what do you 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:23.320 mean you want to go on the bathtub and scream? 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:27.600 But you know, in this evolution of just finding out 0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:30.920 that speaking is medicine, and talking is medicine, and releasing 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:34.240 that vibration and frequency through your throw and through your 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:36.920 mouth is medicine. I'm just like, I'm all about the 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.280 white people shit. Sign me up and then make it 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.480 black yep, sign me up and put some hot sauce 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:42.720 on it. 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:44.880 Okay, and Larry's but. 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:52.079 I really like speaking of sexy September, and as I'm 0:13:52.720 --> 0:14:00.440 nearing my finished completion of my course, I'm feeling I'm 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.120 feeling very called to bring to be the bridge to 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.439 the white people shit to our people, you know, and 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:10.680 I you know, some people are gonna be like, bitch, 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.160 what you're talking about? And even in this like this 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:15.560 time in my class, I'm like asking friends to be 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:16.600 my trial clients. 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.360 And I'm like, I know it's weird, but can you 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:22.040 just can you just breathe with me? But I think 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:22.680 it's important. 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.760 And I think it's we're so easily, we're so easy 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:26.520 to write it off. 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:28.760 Is like I nobody doing all that. 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:31.600 But I was talking to my friend Bam, who's in 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:35.680 prison and today and he was just saying like he 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:39.240 just got locked up and it's my ratchet life. And 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:42.360 he's been you know, meditating and reading and like working 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:44.840 out and going within and he was just like, we're 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:47.520 just talking about I was just talking him about a pleasure. 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:49.240 Journal and he was like, you know, I don't know. 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:50.960 I don't know. I have a hard time with pleasure. 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:52.120 And I was like, isn't that weird? 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:56.240 He was like yeah, because I'm stoic and shit, I'm like, yeah, 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:59.640 I guess beIN in Gangsing ain't very real. But then 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:01.400 he was like, like, you know, I said, writing poetry. 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:02.760 You know, I've been writing in my general every day, 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:03.280 writing poetry. 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:04.720 I'm like, I'm happy. I'm proud of you. 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:06.480 You know, like you gotta you gotta get like in 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.040 that when you're in that confinement, you gotta let your 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:11.400 mind be free. But I was just thinking about last 0:15:11.400 --> 0:15:13.640 month and we talked about creating just to create and 0:15:13.680 --> 0:15:15.560 like poetry and how like we want to laugh and 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:16.960 my friends like I wrote a poem today. 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:18.600 I meant to write a poem today, but I don't 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:18.920 have time. 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:24.640 But it's just like, why are people of color so 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:26.960 opposed to pleasure? 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:28.840 Why do we insist on. 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:33.960 Well pleasure for pleasure for us has to look a 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:38.120 certain way. It's literally it has to look one way, 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:42.960 and it's usually wrapped up in self care practices which 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:51.800 include hair nails are man and vacations with our friends 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:54.680 or our men or whatever whatever that may. 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:55.960 Be from this state to this state. 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.320 I know, and it's crazy, And I've talked about this 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:04.200 a lot lately, just about like containing my joy and 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.800 it's only allowed to live here and like feeling like 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:10.359 it's cheesy to be like not too happy, but like feeling. 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.640 Like what the fuck are you so happy for a 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:12.880 relaxed or like. 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.400 You know what I mean, just like this idea that 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:20.040 you have to suppress the extreme joy because it's inappropriate 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.480 in some way. Ors like you can't just bust out 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.440 in a cartwheel right here or whatever. But it's like 0:16:24.840 --> 0:16:27.280 you gotta examine that even like I told Erica when 0:16:27.320 --> 0:16:28.760 we were in Mexico, I don't know if I mentioned this, 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:31.000 but we met a couple on the beach and they 0:16:31.120 --> 0:16:32.560 were so fucking happy. 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:34.760 It's like just two happy white people. 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:36.720 They were a couple, they were like left their kids, 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.840 and it's not like a white black thing, but it is, 0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:44.160 like it's not maybe a white black thing, but when 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:48.120 you have I mean, when you are born into systematic 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:51.080 racism and you're born with kind of like this idea 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:54.480 that people are gonna harm you or people, you know, 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:57.880 like we're existing in a world that's been historically harmful 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:00.720 to us. It's like it's hard to kind of sometimes 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:02.880 grasp a certain level of joy and pleasure. 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:04.719 And they were so fucking happy. 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:08.520 Well, it makes me think of just how black people, 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:11.560 how we have to assimilate to our environment all the 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:15.560 time and are like we're often the minority in a 0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:18.600 lot of spaces, and so we have to act a 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:21.000 certain way, and so it's hard to It's like turning 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:21.880 the light swich on. 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:23.280 And off, on and off, on and off, like. 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.960 So you just don't know how to just be yourself 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:31.600 and just experience the joy and the pleasure and in 0:17:31.680 --> 0:17:34.520 all spaces, in all ways, no matter who's there. 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:35.480 What race is there. 0:17:36.040 --> 0:17:37.760 And that's true too, because even in the spaces that 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:39.480 we've created where it's like a lot of women that 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:44.560 look like us, you know, I'm sometimes now that we've 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:47.960 created this space, even when I went to my embodiment 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:50.640 retreat where there's gonna obviously it's more diverse than our 0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:52.520 retreats because it's men and there's women, and there's all 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:54.520 different people from all different places. 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:56.800 And I was like feeling kind of. 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:00.359 Weird about going into such a vulnerable s based with 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:02.240 like a bunch of different type of people who didn't 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:05.720 look like me, and it really made me have to 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.639 adjust and it made me have like in like all 0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:10.159 my bestest friends from tantar school or like white, you know, 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:11.200 not all of them. I have a black friends, I 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:13.280 have all types of friends. But the point is, it's 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.800 like it requires another level of layer, like peeling back 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:20.600 another layer to to like kind of dig into yourself, 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.639 like what the fuck is that? And obviously it feels 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:24.800 good to like see people that look at you and 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:28.800 like look like you and feel like feel more more 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.840 comfortable in those spaces. But you know, like I see 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.240 I looked at the page and I was like, wow, 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:37.080 there's so many women that don't look like me, And 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:39.199 it would be really cool if they were playing like, 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:40.840 you know a little bit of ratchet music and there 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:42.199