WEBVTT - Episode 7: Breakdown 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:03.840 M I snapped away in the morning with my phone 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:10.000 alarm going off ship I fell asleep with it in 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:12.479 my hand and I was almost side of battery. It's 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:16.640 gonna die at school today. That is, if I lived 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:19.800 long enough to see school today. I have to go 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:22.079 downstairs and face my parents. Have to running away for 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:27.640 the weekend. My survival is questionable. Sleep on my meds 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:30.480 was like a thick blanket of forgetting about all this. 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:34.280 But it's all coming flooding back. When I went to bed, 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:37.360 Marco had just started beating with me on social media 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:39.720 over my biling on the crew to take the trip. 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:44.120 How do I respond? I opened my social apps and 0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:48.000 noticed something I didn't think about. Another wave of new followers. 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.559 The weekended viral villa is over, and I've absorbed a 0:00:51.640 --> 0:00:53.480 lot of the followers I'm gonna get from the kids 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:57.080 I met there, but I'm still getting growth from where 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:02.200 from Marco the b for bringing me fresh followers too. 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:06.080 That's what's weird about the whole viral sensation life. I'm 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:10.759 realizing drama turns people into Internet celebrities. The fight breaking 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:13.280 out between me and Marco after I'm all over the 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.720 viral villas feeds all weekend. It's infectious. For a second, 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:20.240 I even think that playing this feud out over social 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:23.440 media might please Mark Off, help us gain more cloud. 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:28.280 We would gain new followers, and we can smooth things 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:32.400 over in public. It's great for our brand. So why 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.680 do I feel so shitty? How quick look at my 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:40.080 comments reminds me why Marco's fans had started a petition 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:42.959 to cancel me. Some of these clouds are calling me 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:46.520 a trader, like they aren't following influencers and wishing they 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:50.080 could live that influence of life themselves. It pisces me 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:54.840 off because they just don't know the whole story. There 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.280 were so many questions in the common tasking me how 0:01:57.320 --> 0:02:01.080 I could do my boy like that. The question this valid. 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:03.040 I did come Marka out of the weekend at the 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:08.400 villa for my own game. Damn, I am reckless. I 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:11.840 shut my phone away just as it dies. I'll deal 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:15.440 with this stuff later, still in a half awake blur, 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.400 I get ready for school and eventually face the moment 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:21.480 of truth. I head downstairs to meet my parents in 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:25.640 the kitchen. What I walk into isn't what I'm expecting. 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:28.799 I come in with a solemn face, which plays right, 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:31.440 but I'm still not getting read the Riot Act the 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:35.760 way I thought i'd get last night. Instead, Mom and 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:39.800 Dad are very quiet. Dad's holding Mom's hand. She's holding 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:41.919 the letter I left in my bedroom, explaining to them 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:47.600 what I've done. I sit silently and Mom readsed the letter. 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:52.040 Dear Mom and Dad, I know you don't understand how 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:55.880 crucial this moment is for me, and I don't want 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:59.240 to break your trust. But I can't let this window 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:04.120 of opportunity unity slipped by me again, gone to viral villa. 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:11.200 I'll be back Monday. Sorry in advance, holding the paper 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:18.400 she finished, Sorry, and fucking advance. Finally, here it comes 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:41.680 to Riot Act. The mood in the room turns on 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:46.080 a dot. Is My parents start rightfully while not do 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.760 you understand what a fundamental breach of trust this is? 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:51.800 This is some bullshit. Ruben is so unlike you, Ruben. 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:54.000 It is concerned what kind of place is this that 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:57.080 would even have you there for the weekend without clearing 0:03:57.080 --> 0:04:00.000 it with your mother and father or your legal guardians 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.680 for that not even a consent for him insight. I 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:06.160 looked at your posts. Were you drinking and doing drugs? 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:08.880 The funk are you trying to tell us, Ruben all right? 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:11.440 Isn't your new school? You miss your old friends. You 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:13.960 have never behaved like this before. We didn't crazy to 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:18.479 be like this enough enough. I'm sorry that I scared 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:20.400 you like that and lied to you when I left 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:22.760 that morning. But you have to look at it from 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.799 my side. I had just come clean to you about 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.480 the podcast project and how great it's going, and still 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.600 you're punishing me like I'm a little kid. You know, 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:35.240 all all of this anxiety ship Maybe some of that 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:38.320 comes from your helicopter parenting. I had to take a 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.080 stand for what I want to do with my life, 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:42.840 not just follow your orders on a damn time. And 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:45.240 how was your anxiety on that plane when you were 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.560 sneaking off to Kelly Reuben? How has your anxiety been 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:55.160 My mom is furious that was a low blow, but 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:57.320 my dad asking how I've been feeling to flate some 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.920 of the tension in the room. I have to be 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:05.640 truthful now. I've been good, great, even when I'm working 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:08.760 on the podcast, and that includes while I was away. 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:12.279 It's come back strong now that I'm back, and Marcus 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:14.919 mad at me. My anxiety is all over the place. 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:19.880 Marcus mad at you. Yeah, he wanted to go in 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.599 my place since you wouldn't let me. Um hm, since 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.640 I went anyway. He feels screwed over. I know I'm 0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.360 gonna be grounded, but I like to have him over 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:32.280 to squash our beef. If you're okay with it, we'll 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:35.320 talk about it. But your damn right. You're grounded indefinitely, 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:41.640 and I no complaining. Take the punishment like a soldier 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:47.240 this time. And don't you even for a minute. I 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.360 think we are done talking about this. Just because you're 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:55.960 being punished, You're getting off easy. This was completely beyond 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:59.520 the pale. I understand, and we'll discuss this during dinner tonight. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:02.119 You'll be at this damn table talking to your parents, 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:06.440 who love you deeply. We love you despite your dumb decisions. 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:10.680 Now go to school and not the airport. Saved by 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:15.320 the bell. That was tough, but I feel like I've 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:18.760 stood my ground. I may be on lockdown again, but 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.400 the punishment was inevitable. I know my parents are hurt, 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:27.440 but my message came through loud and clear. I can't 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:31.159 just be quiet, obedient Reuben anymore. I'm make an adult 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:35.960 moves for myself, so I'm feeling myself as I rushed 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:39.520 down blocks and through train stations that wondered if my 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.880 acting out had to do with my new schools, what 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.920 the irony is? I'm really feeling the pobbit book of 0:06:46.000 --> 0:06:48.800 t and especially now that things were Marco and at 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:51.400 home or in shambles, getting back to school be the 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:57.200 biggest slice of normalcy in my life, except surprise when 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:00.280 I get there. The story of my runaway Weekends l 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:04.200 A is already circling everywhere. I can hear people buzzing 0:07:04.240 --> 0:07:06.720 about me in the halls. Guys come up to my 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:08.840 locker and give me that A bunch of my new 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:11.200 follows from the weekend are probably my classmates. Hear a 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:14.679 book of tea. And before all this went down, Janelle 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:20.160 had been spreading my rapid school, speaking of Hey, Janelle, 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:25.400 how are you am? I? You know, maintaining our things 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.840 at home? She looks at me with noing eyes, but 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:30.840 doesn't bring up the breach with Marco right away. Round 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:35.320 did indefinitely no surprises there. How many artists do we 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:37.600 need to record still to complete the season. We need 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.000 three more to hit our ten episode goal. We still 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:43.680 have been a Rodeaux in the camp. Sounds like it's 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.679 back to recording on my phone in my closet again. Actually, 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:50.120 I had an idea about that. I realized she's let 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:52.560 me pass the audio Lab classroom to the Audio Lab 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:56.040 studio space. It's a pretty polished set up. I haven't 0:07:56.040 --> 0:07:58.080 really got to explore it yet. We should record the 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:00.520 rest of the interviews and here here comes the break. 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:03.360 Is there semester project now? So we can get access 0:08:03.360 --> 0:08:06.200 to the studio and your parents have to be okay 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:08.560 with it. Even if we schedule the studio time after 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:12.720 school hours, you know it's homework. Plus, obviously we up 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:17.080 our production value this way, more recording interviews in your bedroom. Damn, 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:20.760 I'm lucky to have you on my side. Speaking of which, 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:23.120 I saw that Marco called you out and sending his 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:27.760 followers up to you. Yeah, you know, I'll find somebody 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:30.160 to smooth it over with him. We've known each other forever. 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:33.960 It lost settle down. I don't know, man, he seems 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:37.320 really hurt. You don't think maybe he's playing it up 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:40.719 for the extra attention online. I mean my followers are exploded. 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:44.080 What No, No, definitely not. I could show you as 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:46.920 texting me from this weekend. He's serious. It's just been 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:50.080 such a strange few days. I feel like I can't 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:53.360 see straight. I'm blowing up on social media. Everyone in 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.800 school thinks I'm dope, but Marco thinks I'm a dick, 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.959 and my parents are freaking up. I can't figure out 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.880 whether to feel bad about what I did proud should 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:04.920 not clap back in Marco on social for the hits 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:08.600 or that make things worse? Are you really concerned about 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.800 your followers and not your friendship routing? Come on, be 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:15.160 real here, you're letting this viral fan go to your head. 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:21.680 Do you really want my opinion? Yes, you should feel bad. Okay, 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.559 what you did was selfish and it makes my job 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:26.480 tentimes harder. You're getting high on your own stepply with 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:29.240 all this new attention, and it's making you forget where 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:32.200 you came from. Okay. I don't agree with Marco airing 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.360 out her dirty laundry on the internet, but you need 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.040 to get him under control and back on board. He's 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:39.520 part of the team. He's the reason the podcast even 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:42.520 existed in the first place. Meet with him face to 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:46.480 face and talk own your ship. Ruby. Her words are 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:49.440 like a splash of vice water to the face. She's right, 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:52.240 I have been letting all this in and the success 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:55.840 go to my head? Was that seriously contemplating and clapping 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:58.800 back and Marco online, I need to make peace with 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.720 him like an adult. I've got to get my parents 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:03.400 okay for him to come over so we could talk 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.839 things over. All, Right, we should get the class. I'm 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:07.800 going to play Bo's interview as a progress ship board 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:10.160 for the project. We leave the audio lab and head 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:13.160 back down the hallway, but my mind can't stop drifting 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:16.040 the mark on my parents even as we take our 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:17.480 turn at the front of the room. Is and now 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:20.800 placed episode seven. If here comes to break for the class, 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:30.960 tell our listeners who is being no reducant, being no redose, 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:35.920 just your average South stantial kid. Really, I'm really tapped 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:39.719 in more into the street side of things. I'm I 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:42.480 still move around like ship is normal, and I feel 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.439 like I can't really shake that. I feel like I 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.280 gotta kind of watch that. But my testimony is anybody 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:48.920 can do this ship if you want it bad enough, 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:50.800 it could get done. And the proof is, you know 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.199 what I'm saying, I'm just like you, So it really 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:55.000 ain't much to me. I'm just doing what I love. 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:59.280 I'm just a vibe. You know, why is it important 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.480 for you to be are rooted in your community. It's 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:03.800 important to me because that's how my big bro Nipsey was, 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.719 and so I feel like he's a major part of 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:09.679 my foundation. So it would be wrong with me to 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.000 not try to carry you on the legacy in a 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:16.079 way that he would respect you. Can you talk a 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.439 little on Nipsey hustle and what his legacy means to you. 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:23.840 It's everything Nipsey. Nipsey is is like the whole basis. 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:25.599 He was the whole voice in my city. He was 0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:27.679 the voice of reason and he stopt to me. And 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:29.360 you know, I would always say, if I had to 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:32.320 collaborate artists, it would be Nipsey and make the most sense. 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:36.079 But him reaching out and feeling him daily just kind 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:38.800 of in the studio, and it was always a really 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.160 never felt normal, but it always felt again it I 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:42.880 don't understand it to this day what he saw me, 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:46.280 but I'm happy play role I played for sure. What 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:48.240 did you learn from Nipsey about how to navigate the 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:51.280 music industry? That's exactly what I learned, how to navigate 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:55.240 around them Off GP if you leave from Nipsey you 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.920 learn something, like you're gonna learn something without him trying 0:11:57.920 --> 0:12:01.959 to teach you nothing. It's just so much game within him, 0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:05.480 just the way he carried itself, the way you speaks, 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.880 the should he say. It's just I don't know, it's 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:10.719 hard not to come out of there with with some 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.800 new knowledge. It's just so natural, come out so easy. 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:15.960 So it was lesson to be able to sit there 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:17.560 and soak that up. And I call him a cheek 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:19.959 code for sure. And it was really about I've lift 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:22.920 in the community. What is your thing that you're passionate about? 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:25.040 Now that you're gaining your own success, you know, I 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:28.559 started to do my little shared charity here there, and 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:31.560 it's really a good feeling to know that people can 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:33.400 depend on you to come through when they need you 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:35.559 in the clutch. And you know, I'm really enjoying that. 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:39.839 So really the community is kind of what's keeping me going. 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:43.040 I'll do this for you know, not only to crunch 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.000 your district, but the whole city. It's major for the 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:48.000 whole city. So however I could come through, Okay, okay, 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:50.480 how is your city influence you musically? You know, I 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:52.400 used to tell me, I ain't soundingly comes from l A. 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.960 You know, I get that a lot. So I don't 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:59.360 really put a limit or capital monk music as far 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:01.720 as reaching. I think I'm just more off the vote. 0:13:01.800 --> 0:13:04.439 But I get oh, this new name dog or this 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:06.400 new you get that a lot, and it's amazing to 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.920 me to even get that comparison. For that to even 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.840 resonate in somebody's mind listening to my music. I happy 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:14.040 to carry that. Can you give young artists advice on 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.040 what to keep in mind with pursuing the major label, 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:19.320 I would say, don't focus so much. I don't pursuing 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.439 the major label. We're all chasing something so above average, 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.679 so out of the norm. One of the men. We 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:27.199 are chasing this one thing. So you gotta understand that 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:30.040 you're gonna go through terrible ass ship. You've got me, 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:32.760 but you usually to keep steady, keep her level head 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.120 like she get bad and she it's hell trying to 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.839 get that. But you gotta keep that in mind and 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.280 be willing. I feel like willpower is the name of 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.959 the game. Would come to this ship, so sure, but 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:47.040 don't focus so much on major focus on himself. And 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:48.800 was there ever a period of life where you just 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:51.880 felt like giving up or you were frustrated. Hell yeah. 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:57.240 The day before I dropped six tape with Blacks, I 0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.440 told my home and I'm like, man, who was in here? 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:03.600 And I'm like this, don't like go if I ain't 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:06.080 feeling away after I've dropped this, I don't know, bro, 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:08.360 I'm gotta go figure something out. Back to the street 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.160 and uh yeah, it kind of did what it did. 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.400 For sure, you're gonna dot this where you quit and 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:16.400 all that. But that's when the willpower coming up play 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:18.760 for real power is how you deal with those anxieties. 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:21.640 And I got terrible to anxiety as something that I 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:23.720 for sure battle with. I feel like a lot of 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:27.120 artists better with that. What advice would you give to 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.680 other young people facing anxiety. I'll tell them you're thinking 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:32.680 too much. If you want to do it, you have 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:35.200 to do it now. Once you understand that, you have 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.760 to get the job done. Regardless of how you're feeling. 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.880 People are not a fig they're dealing with anxiety, they 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:42.800 still gotta get their job done. What do you want 0:14:42.800 --> 0:14:44.880 your legacy to be? How do you want people to 0:14:44.920 --> 0:14:47.000 remember you? For sure, I want to be a legend. 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:50.320 I'm trying to be known for all the positive ship, 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:53.920 respect respect on the definitely to make whatever the change 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:56.760 may be, a big changing something. I want to go 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:03.800 down for drastically changing something. And we'll be right back 0:15:09.240 --> 0:15:16.280 and now back to the show. I come home from 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:20.720 school and realized that I am mentally exhausted. The conversation 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.040 with Janelle and the Audio Lab studio really made me 0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:26.400 check myself. I see why DMX never returned. That Ian 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.000 must fixed my life. When I come in the door, 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:33.440 my mom's already home, not normal. She's holding a shoe 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:38.800 box in her hands gently, like it's something precious proven. 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.160 I want to show you something. Without another word, she 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:46.320 opens the lid and starts taking out polaroid photos. This 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:49.640 is super vintage. I've never seen any of them before. 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.920 They're of her, of course, but before she knew dad, 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:58.680 before she had settled down and started family. She's dancing. 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:01.800 She passed the couch next to her, and I come 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:05.640 over and sit down. I don't think we've ever talked 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:09.120 about how badly I wanted to be a dancer when 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:13.480 I was younger. I wanted to attend the Alvin Ailey 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:20.600 American Dance Theater. Debbie Allen, who was my muse. You 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.080 couldn't tell me that I wasn't going to choreograph videos 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:27.520 for Paula Abduel, Janet Jackson or Mr Elliott. It was 0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:31.720 all I thought about, and I trained hard for years. 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:35.440 My parents loved that I had such a passion for 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:38.720 the art. It wasn't something they expected to turn into 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.040 a career for me, but they were very supportive that 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:44.000 I was so focused on it. I suddenly know how 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:47.320 shocked my parents felt to find my letter. My mom 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:50.880 was a dancer. Why wasn't this something we talked about 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:54.160 growing up when I wanted to go to college for dance. 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:58.760 I don't know something changed. Your grandfather was very wary 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:04.680 of me going into such a hard profession. He wanted 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.920 me to have a backup plan or better yet, focus 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:12.480 on something more practical. As you know, your grandpa is 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:16.080 big on academics, and I don't know how it was different. 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:17.760 I was the first kid on my side of the 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.919 family to be able to get into a prestigious school. 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:24.240 Now I understood where my parents were coming from, but 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:27.560 it was difficult to not pursue my dreams of becoming 0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.440 a dancer. Your grandfather and I couldn't see eye to 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:34.520 eye about art and dance for a long long time. 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:37.879 I mean it was the same reason we pulled you 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:41.080 from the limelight when your video went viral. I didn't 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:44.280 want you to lose sight of what's important, which is 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:48.240 your education. If you've been through all this, why the 0:17:48.359 --> 0:17:51.480 same thing with me? Then? I have always put my 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:54.840 education first. You and Dad raised me to strive for 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.920 excellence in school and in life. I took that same 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:00.640 attitude and lost our podcast. I need you and Dad 0:18:00.680 --> 0:18:04.200 to have my back. We're not afraid of you having 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:07.000 a career in the arts or digital media or anything 0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:09.440 like that, but but it is the same media we 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.560 grew up with. It's a jungle out there, especially for 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:15.440 people of color. When you went viral at such a 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:19.080 young age, Oh, we panicked and went with what we 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:22.680 thought was the safest. Our job is to protect you. 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:25.600 I didn't want any trolls or cyber bullies coming after 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:28.680 my child. It's surreal to hear my mother be real 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:32.160 with me about my early shot of fame. I feel 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:35.000 like we're finally talking to each other as adults, not 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:39.560 parent two keep I suddenly remember the sympathetic look I 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:41.520 caught from her when she and Dad first find out 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:45.000 about the pot, And it makes so much more sense now. 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.399 She did believe in me, but she wanted to protect me, 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:53.840 just like the van days, and my baggage about the 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:56.320 van days led to me sneaking around and running away. 0:18:57.119 --> 0:19:01.360 So not even if they want to support me, I've 0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:05.680 made it that much harder. Then. I want you to 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:09.760 really hear me out. When you brought up your vine account, 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:15.320 your father and I were really surprised. We haven't thought 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:19.400 about that in years. We do want to support your podcast, 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.199 but you have to open up to us about how 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:23.960 you're feeling and what you're doing. If any of our 0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:26.040 choices and how to raise you led you to believe 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:28.680 we are proud of you for what you've accomplished. You 0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:31.520 know that was never our intent. We love you and 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:33.359 we believe in you. I sit with the weight of 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:35.800 what you shared for a long moment. It feels like 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:39.000 there's nothing for me to say other than light in 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:42.800 the mood. Damn, Mom, why don't you tell me you 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:49.520 wanted to be a flag girl? Oh? To be honest, honey, 0:19:50.480 --> 0:19:54.480 it's very painful to talk about. I did try to 0:19:54.560 --> 0:19:58.520 study dance in college for about a year, but I 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:03.960 eventually cave and pursued my parents dreams for me. So 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:06.600 you really do understand where I'm coming from. I can 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:11.000 relate to a point. This doesn't excuse what you've done. 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:13.680 We want to support you in your goals, but you 0:20:13.920 --> 0:20:17.240 have to let us in. Don't let frustrations like the 0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:24.359 ones you have around Vine get in the way. At 0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:28.040 that moment, my father comes home. He comes and joins 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:31.080 us in the living room. Did you have the talk 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:35.920 in progress? Reuben? Do you understand why we have to 0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:40.920 hold our ground on this. We get it, We really 0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:44.840 get it. But you can't pull stunts like you did 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:49.000 this past weekend. It's a spit in the face. We're 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:52.680 still your parents. I don't even have to say it 0:20:52.760 --> 0:20:56.000 out loud. They can see it in my eyes, my 0:20:56.119 --> 0:21:01.760 body language. Finally, I do understand m I don't hold 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:04.480 it against them that they're punishing me, and I'm prepared 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:08.560 to work around the grounding for podcasts recording. It feels fair. 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:11.440 The low down, dirty truth is that even with the 0:21:11.520 --> 0:21:15.240 extended grounding and Jannael's reality check at school today, the 0:21:15.320 --> 0:21:18.920 weekended viral Villas still feels like a win. It's brought 0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:22.040 a bigger audience to my social accounts, to the podcast, 0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:24.480 and now I finally feel like my parents and I 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:26.880 have broken through the emotional wall that was making things 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:31.119 so hard. Deep down, I still think I made the 0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:34.160 right calling going. I can hold my head up high, 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:38.920 take my hits like a man. So every day you 0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:42.960 come home right after school. No going out on weekends. 0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:45.760 We'll see if you keep your grades up. At the 0:21:45.840 --> 0:21:48.880 end of the semester, will revisit it. Then you got 0:21:48.960 --> 0:21:55.800 that yes, sir. Into the semester. It's pretty harsh, look 0:21:55.840 --> 0:21:58.879 hot to keep this stoic acceptance vibe going, and I 0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:00.960 need to get permission to have Marco over or I 0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:03.800 have no hope of burying the hatchet. I've got to 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:06.840 ask you for one exception. Marco's pretty pissed at me, 0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:09.000 and I'd really like to invite them over here to 0:22:09.040 --> 0:22:12.200 smooth things out. Is that okay with you? We'll consider 0:22:12.240 --> 0:22:15.600 it based on good behavior. Now is not the time 0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:19.240 for you to be asking for favors. Maybe we can 0:22:19.400 --> 0:22:24.159 trade you. What do you mean there's another condition to 0:22:24.280 --> 0:22:28.240 getting out of your grounding, Reuben. This was very unlike you. 0:22:29.080 --> 0:22:31.920 You really scared us. I'm wondering if it might have 0:22:32.040 --> 0:22:39.080 been well, a manic episode. Oh what now, Now, I'm 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:41.879 not worried about putting some label on it. Okay, but 0:22:42.160 --> 0:22:45.280 your father and I agree we want you to go 0:22:45.400 --> 0:22:48.080 back to seeing a therapist like when you were younger. 0:22:48.720 --> 0:22:50.600 I'm going to book you an appointment for next week. 0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:53.879 You start going to therapy, We'll let Marco come over 0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:55.800