WEBVTT - Charm them into compliance

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 2>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 2>tip is to be charming, not combative. When you are

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<v Speaker 2>trying to influence behavior.

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<v Speaker 1>You will get more flies with honey than vinegar, as

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<v Speaker 1>the saying goes, and in life in general, this turns

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<v Speaker 1>out to be true. So I live near an intersection

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<v Speaker 1>with signs boasting that it is the most courteous corner

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<v Speaker 1>on the main line. I have no idea of the

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<v Speaker 1>source or the accuracy of this superlative. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how one would even measure and rank intersections based on courtesy,

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<v Speaker 1>but I do have a hunch about the sign's purpose.

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<v Speaker 1>When you are at the most courteous corner in town,

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<v Speaker 1>you are probably going to wait your turn at the

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<v Speaker 1>stop sign. You are going to signal your turn and

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<v Speaker 1>smile at the pedestrian instead of gesturing for him to

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<v Speaker 1>hurry up. When you are at the most courteous corner

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<v Speaker 1>in the neighborhood, you are primed to be courteous yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>I have read about a park in Memphis that takes

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<v Speaker 1>a similarly positive approach to getting visitors to follow the

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<v Speaker 1>rules Instead of signs telling dog owners that Memphis has

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<v Speaker 1>a leash law, which it does. The park has signs

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<v Speaker 1>addressed to dogs reminding them to keep their humans attached

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<v Speaker 1>by leash. This is because the sign explains it's super

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<v Speaker 1>awkward when they go bounding up to strangers. Apparently, the

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<v Speaker 1>same park kept people off its new sod with birth

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<v Speaker 1>announcement style signs with a stork proclaiming that this baby

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<v Speaker 1>grass was born to the Overton Park family, complete with

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<v Speaker 1>the grass's birthday. There is so much wisdom and signs

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<v Speaker 1>like these. They are cheerful and, in the case of

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<v Speaker 1>the park signs, clever and funny. You notice the signs,

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<v Speaker 1>you like them. You might even point them out to

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<v Speaker 1>your friends or snap a photo. The signs get your attention.

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<v Speaker 1>Plus the sign stances about what we do. We are

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<v Speaker 1>courteous to drivers and pedestrians. We keep dogs leashed and

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<v Speaker 1>respect people's space. We stay off our baby grass because

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<v Speaker 1>we are celebrating it and wanted to thrive. The signs

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<v Speaker 1>make people want to engage in pro social behavior. We

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<v Speaker 1>are part of a community. This is much better than

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<v Speaker 1>a sign with prohibitions or demands from an impersonal authority.

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<v Speaker 1>We often ignore signs like these, and at worst we

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<v Speaker 1>may feel an urge to violate them, even if we

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<v Speaker 1>are not especially oppositional. Signs that say no sitting on

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<v Speaker 1>the steps in all capital letters kind of make me

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<v Speaker 1>want to sit on the steps. So what's the relevance

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<v Speaker 1>for those of us not in the sign making business?

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<v Speaker 1>For starters, whether you're using a sign or an email

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<v Speaker 1>or live instructions, you may be better off creating a

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<v Speaker 1>sense of identity and community among the people whose behavior

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<v Speaker 1>you're trying to shape. For instance, at some schools, norms

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<v Speaker 1>or rules are presented as let's call it the any

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<v Speaker 1>town school way. Kids may disregard rules or even feel

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<v Speaker 1>that rules beg to be broken, but when norms are

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<v Speaker 1>framed as the way their school does things, kids may

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<v Speaker 1>come to view them as a matter of identity. If

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<v Speaker 1>that's how things are done at any town school, I

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<v Speaker 1>want to be part of the community, so that's how

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<v Speaker 1>I will do them too. Using we language tends to

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<v Speaker 1>be helpful. Saying let's all check our cell phones to

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<v Speaker 1>make sure our ring are off while checking your own

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<v Speaker 1>phone is a lot better than demanding silence your cell

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<v Speaker 1>phone without looking at your own phone. Signs and instructions

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<v Speaker 1>also tend to be more effective and less off putting

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<v Speaker 1>when they focus on a mutually valued purpose. That's the

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<v Speaker 1>idea behind the signs at the park about protecting the

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<v Speaker 1>baby grass. Presumably you have a reason for asking people

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<v Speaker 1>to adhere to a specific behavior, at least I hope

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<v Speaker 1>you do. So connect instructions to the why please don't

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<v Speaker 1>use flash photography during the show because it can distract

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<v Speaker 1>the dancers makes a lot more sense than just no

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<v Speaker 1>photography allowed. So when you're trying to get people to

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<v Speaker 1>follow rules that benefit everyone, take a lesson from the

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<v Speaker 1>courteous corner and the friendly park signs aim to charm

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<v Speaker 1>friends instead of controlling strangers, everyone is more likely to comply.

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<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

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<v Speaker 1>listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

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<v Speaker 1>you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

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