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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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Speaker 2: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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Speaker 2: tip is to be charming, not combative. When you are

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Speaker 2: trying to influence behavior.

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Speaker 1: You will get more flies with honey than vinegar, as

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Speaker 1: the saying goes, and in life in general, this turns

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Speaker 1: out to be true. So I live near an intersection

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Speaker 1: with signs boasting that it is the most courteous corner

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Speaker 1: on the main line. I have no idea of the

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Speaker 1: source or the accuracy of this superlative. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how one would even measure and rank intersections based on courtesy,

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Speaker 1: but I do have a hunch about the sign's purpose.

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Speaker 1: When you are at the most courteous corner in town,

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Speaker 1: you are probably going to wait your turn at the

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Speaker 1: stop sign. You are going to signal your turn and

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Speaker 1: smile at the pedestrian instead of gesturing for him to

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Speaker 1: hurry up. When you are at the most courteous corner

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Speaker 1: in the neighborhood, you are primed to be courteous yourself.

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Speaker 1: I have read about a park in Memphis that takes

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Speaker 1: a similarly positive approach to getting visitors to follow the

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Speaker 1: rules Instead of signs telling dog owners that Memphis has

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Speaker 1: a leash law, which it does. The park has signs

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Speaker 1: addressed to dogs reminding them to keep their humans attached

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Speaker 1: by leash. This is because the sign explains it's super

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Speaker 1: awkward when they go bounding up to strangers. Apparently, the

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Speaker 1: same park kept people off its new sod with birth

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Speaker 1: announcement style signs with a stork proclaiming that this baby

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Speaker 1: grass was born to the Overton Park family, complete with

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Speaker 1: the grass's birthday. There is so much wisdom and signs

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Speaker 1: like these. They are cheerful and, in the case of

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Speaker 1: the park signs, clever and funny. You notice the signs,

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Speaker 1: you like them. You might even point them out to

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Speaker 1: your friends or snap a photo. The signs get your attention.

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Speaker 1: Plus the sign stances about what we do. We are

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Speaker 1: courteous to drivers and pedestrians. We keep dogs leashed and

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Speaker 1: respect people's space. We stay off our baby grass because

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Speaker 1: we are celebrating it and wanted to thrive. The signs

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Speaker 1: make people want to engage in pro social behavior. We

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Speaker 1: are part of a community. This is much better than

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Speaker 1: a sign with prohibitions or demands from an impersonal authority.

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Speaker 1: We often ignore signs like these, and at worst we

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Speaker 1: may feel an urge to violate them, even if we

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Speaker 1: are not especially oppositional. Signs that say no sitting on

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Speaker 1: the steps in all capital letters kind of make me

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Speaker 1: want to sit on the steps. So what's the relevance

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Speaker 1: for those of us not in the sign making business?

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Speaker 1: For starters, whether you're using a sign or an email

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Speaker 1: or live instructions, you may be better off creating a

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Speaker 1: sense of identity and community among the people whose behavior

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Speaker 1: you're trying to shape. For instance, at some schools, norms

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Speaker 1: or rules are presented as let's call it the any

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Speaker 1: town school way. Kids may disregard rules or even feel

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Speaker 1: that rules beg to be broken, but when norms are

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Speaker 1: framed as the way their school does things, kids may

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Speaker 1: come to view them as a matter of identity. If

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Speaker 1: that's how things are done at any town school, I

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Speaker 1: want to be part of the community, so that's how

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Speaker 1: I will do them too. Using we language tends to

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Speaker 1: be helpful. Saying let's all check our cell phones to

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Speaker 1: make sure our ring are off while checking your own

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Speaker 1: phone is a lot better than demanding silence your cell

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Speaker 1: phone without looking at your own phone. Signs and instructions

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Speaker 1: also tend to be more effective and less off putting

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Speaker 1: when they focus on a mutually valued purpose. That's the

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Speaker 1: idea behind the signs at the park about protecting the

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Speaker 1: baby grass. Presumably you have a reason for asking people

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Speaker 1: to adhere to a specific behavior, at least I hope

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Speaker 1: you do. So connect instructions to the why please don't

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Speaker 1: use flash photography during the show because it can distract

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Speaker 1: the dancers makes a lot more sense than just no

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Speaker 1: photography allowed. So when you're trying to get people to

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Speaker 1: follow rules that benefit everyone, take a lesson from the

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Speaker 1: courteous corner and the friendly park signs aim to charm

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Speaker 1: friends instead of controlling strangers, everyone is more likely to comply.

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Speaker 1: In the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

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Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

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Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

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Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

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Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.