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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's helping Jimbros hydrate even harder

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Speaker 1: with a new non.

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Speaker 2: FDA approved beverage called H two bro.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, water infused with creatine, testosterone and a romanian steroid

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Speaker 1: harvested from killer sandworms. Yeah, make your muscles jealous of themselves.

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Speaker 3: This. My right arm is so mad at my left arm.

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Speaker 1: A laser story the segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we've got a laser.

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Speaker 2: Those other water weaklings just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of the happiest place

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Speaker 1: on Earth. Now I need to qualify this because Summer

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Speaker 1: saying this story is fake news. Others are saying it's

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Speaker 1: real and it got leaked by somebody.

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Speaker 2: Over at the mousehouse, the judge of that.

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Speaker 1: A news article recently came out that said Disney was

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Speaker 1: offering select customers a ten million dollar park ticket.

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Speaker 2: False.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what does that even mean.

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Speaker 1: It's essentially a forever lifetime pass where you and up

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Speaker 1: to three other guests can go to any Disney property

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Speaker 1: on any day.

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Speaker 2: For the rest of your life. Wait, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: you have on any continent, like anywhere any Disney property anything. Dude,

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Speaker 2: if I could go to the Japan.

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Speaker 4: World, that would How could that possibly be worth ten

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Speaker 4: million dollars.

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Speaker 1: Because Brook On top of that, it also allows you

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Speaker 1: to stay at any Disney owned hotel absolutely free. I mean,

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Speaker 1: after the ten million dollars you pay totally free to stay.

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Speaker 2: At It's like a thousand bucks a night.

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Speaker 3: It really is.

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Speaker 4: Like I looked at the prices and I'm like, sorry,

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Speaker 4: kids were staying at the roadside motel across the street,

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Speaker 4: which was awesome.

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Speaker 1: If you do this, there is no required checkout times,

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Speaker 1: meaning you could live at the Disneyland resort and go

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Speaker 1: to the park for free every single day in.

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Speaker 3: The can have any money last to live in your

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Speaker 3: own house.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the perk that has most people interested. The ten

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Speaker 1: million dollar ticket also gives gus access to all of

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Speaker 1: the secret Club thirty three locations.

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Speaker 2: Now we are talking.

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Speaker 1: Even if right now we said, yeah, let's get together

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Speaker 1: a million dollars, there's a wait list.

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Speaker 2: To get into Club thirty three. There are one hundreds

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Speaker 2: of people with millions of dollars waiting before you. This

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Speaker 2: surpasses any weight list. It gets you free access. You

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Speaker 2: wait their whole lives to get into this world.

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Speaker 1: Why though, classism is part of disney magic, so I

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Speaker 1: always remember.

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Speaker 2: I see.

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Speaker 3: Sorry.

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Speaker 1: If the average cost of one day at Disneyland for

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Speaker 1: a family of four is twelve hundred dollars, this ticket

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Speaker 1: pays for itself after only eight thousand, three hundred and

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Speaker 1: thirty three business, which is only twenty two years. If

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Speaker 1: you go to Disneyland every single day over that span,

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Speaker 1: to live at Disney, it's a bargain.

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Speaker 4: At the end of twenty two years, you're not going

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Speaker 4: to have enough friends to use up the three extra

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Speaker 4: passes you're getting.

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Speaker 1: Well, keep in mind, this ticket does last a lifetime,

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Speaker 1: so if you buy it for your newborn.

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Speaker 2: Ah, that could easily get them their Mudney's worth over

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Speaker 2: the course of their life.

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Speaker 3: Honey, you don't get college, but you do get Disney.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I get What a great way to start. Let's

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Speaker 2: go to your next laser story.

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Speaker 1: Out of the Netherlands, a woman named Mariki Vorge Luge

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Speaker 1: was sad that her teenage son didn't want to cuddle

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Speaker 1: with her anymore.

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Speaker 2: Hey, nobody got tim for it.

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Speaker 3: That time comes too quickly.

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Speaker 1: He was fourteen and wanted to spend more time with friends.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and he wasn't home as much, so Mariki's

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Speaker 1: answer to not having him close anymore was to knit

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Speaker 1: a life sized version of him that she could hug constantly.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, she's selling him on Etsy because I'm

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Speaker 4: preparing for my future.

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Speaker 2: Maybe Brook's already in Wait till you see the pictures.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna put these up on our Insta stories at

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Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey so you can see what we're working with.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to describe what you're seeing in these photos?

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Speaker 4: It's actually pretty incredibly talented.

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Speaker 2: That's very talented.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, I mean the face is a little unnerving

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Speaker 4: because it's a crocheted face, so it kind of looks

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Speaker 4: like one of those like killer masks.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly what it wants. They definitely look haunted if

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Speaker 2: you ask me.

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Speaker 4: I mean, the crocheted teenage boy isn't on his phone,

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Speaker 4: so that's nice.

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Speaker 1: The finished product is a weird yarn child with a hat, pants,

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Speaker 1: and a sweater along with headphones around his neck.

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Speaker 3: You guys, you'd be weirded out if I had that

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Speaker 3: next to me.

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Speaker 1: At this point, Brooke, I don't think we can get

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Speaker 1: any weirder with you. But the mom says her son

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Speaker 1: actually liked the idea and even helped her make it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you gotta choose what outfit she's gotta

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Speaker 3: put you in.

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Speaker 2: But also it's like, yeah, it gets you out of

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Speaker 2: my hair, mom.

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Speaker 1: Heck yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: She's gotten so much response online, both positive and negative,

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Speaker 1: that she wants to turn it into a business idea

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Speaker 1: called knit a Team.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so just.

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Speaker 1: Sending a few photos of your thirteen year old and

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Speaker 1: for just ninety nine bucks, you'll get a fully knitted

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Speaker 1: version of them back in six to eight weeks.

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Speaker 3: Wow, only ninety nine dollars. How many hours I meant?

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Speaker 1: It's a huge She's like a live person taxidermy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like, while they're still here and enjoy him as

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Speaker 1: a doll.

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Speaker 2: Let's go to your next Lazer story.

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Speaker 1: Out of word world, it's often a compliment when someone

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Speaker 1: calls you a celebrity dappelganger, even if you know you're

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Speaker 1: more of a poor man's version of whatever that celebrity is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but now there's a special slang word for that. Gen

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Speaker 1: Zers have been tossing it around. It's called choppel ganger.

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Speaker 1: It means it's pretty like someone's doppelganger, but a little uglier.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I know most of us know this, but

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Speaker 1: if you don't, it's choppleganger. Because the word chopped is

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Speaker 1: now being used to call people or things unattractive or undesirable.

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Speaker 1: So choppel ganger has been picking up steam in recent

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Speaker 1: months after somebody on social media apparently coined the term

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Speaker 1: last year.

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Speaker 2: It's perfect.

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Speaker 1: For example, on TikTok, a woman claims people refer to

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Speaker 1: her as Mick Jagger's choppel ganger, and she said, if

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Speaker 1: you think someone has a choppel ganger, just keep it

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Speaker 1: to your dang self.

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Speaker 3: Jagger himself a choppel ganger like.

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Speaker 2: His own self, He's hardly a human at this point.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to your final laser story out of TechTown, USA.

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Speaker 1: Cool Samsung pulled two thousand people and asked for features

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Speaker 1: they hope their phone will have by the year twenty

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Speaker 1: thirty six. So here's the top ones. Number four that

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Speaker 1: it'll last an entire week on a single charge. I

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Speaker 1: want someone to steal it, but I invented this in

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Speaker 1: my head years ago.

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Speaker 2: One day every room will have a charging.

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Speaker 3: Signal that doesn't sound it cancer.

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Speaker 1: We Nikola test was actually working on that before the

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Speaker 1: government had him murdered.

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Speaker 2: Come on, guys, charging true story.

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Speaker 3: We start with bake news conspiracy, It's true.

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Speaker 2: Look it up.

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Speaker 1: The number three thing we'd want our phones to do

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Speaker 1: by twenty thirty six real time language translation.

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Speaker 4: Aah actually accurate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be incredible.

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Speaker 1: Number two three D holograms. Those are phones that project holograms,

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Speaker 1: so you could have a three D meeting or quote

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Speaker 1: manipulate objects in three D.

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Speaker 4: Okay, we don't need those pictures.

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Speaker 2: Somebody does.

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Speaker 1: And the number one thing we'd want our phones to

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Speaker 1: do in the next decade is anticipate our thoughts and

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Speaker 1: auto insert them without us having to.

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Speaker 2: Type wow, my reading brook.

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Speaker 1: It does that when it comes to buying stuff for me,

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Speaker 1: but it should know what you want to say to

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Speaker 1: your mom on her birthday without you actually having to say, oh,

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Speaker 1: like you'll get it. It's like things for the birthday

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I didn't say happy, Oh, thank you, Paul. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you can literally text your family and friends without lifting

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Speaker 1: a finger.

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Speaker 3: Without actually being involved.

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Speaker 1: Yes, twenty thirty six is gonna be raizly just absolutely regardless.

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Speaker 2: This guy is stoked about it.

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Speaker 1: Just imagine how many three D hologram Reboks he can

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Speaker 1: project up onto his bedroom ceiling.

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Speaker 2: In twenty thirty six.

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Speaker 1: The future is glorious and that's how means Laser Stories

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Speaker 1: has come to an end for the day. We'll do

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Speaker 1: it again, same time on Friday,