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Speaker 1: My eighteen year old niece just got engaged to a

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Speaker 1: thirty six year old man. No No I thirty three

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Speaker 1: Mal have a pretty big age difference with my brother

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Speaker 1: forty four Mail. He had a child at twenty five,

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Speaker 1: which means I became an uncle at fourteen. I was

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Speaker 1: thirteen when my youngest brother was born. He's just my

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Speaker 1: kid brother. I called him kid brothers and they get

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Speaker 1: so mad at me.

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Speaker 2: What I've heard of him is at Because.

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Speaker 1: We were pretty close in age, I formed a special

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Speaker 1: bond with my niece Ella, now eighteen female. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from alternate Sweet fourteen sixty eight on the

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Speaker 1: r slash Okay story Tom sawbredt So. When she was sixteen,

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Speaker 1: my brother and his family moved away, so I have

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Speaker 1: been seeing them less recently, but we kept in touch

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Speaker 1: and kept up at family events. Last year, at Christmas,

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Speaker 1: my niece told me that she had a boyfriend and

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Speaker 1: told me a bit about him, but I didn't know

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Speaker 1: the guy. He was invited for Easter and a couple

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Speaker 1: of the other events, but was never able to make it.

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Speaker 1: When we were planning our mother's birthday, my brother decided

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Speaker 1: to invite Ella's boyfriend so that we could meet him.

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Speaker 1: All nice, okay, okay. Yesterday was a birthday. I was

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Speaker 1: looking forward to meeting Mark, Ella's boyfriend, but was very

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Speaker 1: confused when I saw her walk in with the man

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Speaker 1: that looked double her age. Spoiler alert he is. She

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Speaker 1: introduced him to me. I politely smiled, but deep down

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Speaker 1: was very concerned. I went to my brother to ask

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Speaker 1: him how old Mark was, and he told me that

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Speaker 1: Mark is thirty six, so literally double Ella's h She

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Speaker 1: had told me that he was a bit older, but

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Speaker 1: I assumed like early to mid twenties, not almost forty.

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Speaker 1: But that's when they called us in the living room

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Speaker 1: to share some exciting news. Ella showed us a ring

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Speaker 1: and revealed that they were getting engaged. I just said,

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Speaker 1: what daff and everyone turned around and looked at me

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Speaker 1: like I was crazy. I told them that they were

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Speaker 1: out of their minds if they thought that this was normal,

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Speaker 1: and that there was no way in this world in

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Speaker 1: which a thirty something would be a eighteen year old

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Speaker 1: and that she shouldn't be getting married. All of them

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Speaker 1: accused me of ruining Ella's happiness. Some even said I

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Speaker 1: was jealous of Mark, which is so eppying. Disgusting. I

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Speaker 1: can't even explain it. I mean, I'm younger than Mark,

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Speaker 1: but never in a million years would I ever consider

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Speaker 1: dating someone younger than twenty five. They told me that

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Speaker 1: it was perfectly legal they were both just adults. Isn't

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Speaker 1: true because they've been dating for a year and Ella

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Speaker 1: turned eighteen seven months ago, and that that if they

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Speaker 1: were happy, that's all that matters. I told them that

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Speaker 1: they were sick for allowing this, and that he was

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Speaker 1: a predator, but they wouldn't listen. I know this isn't

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Speaker 1: my business, but I can't help but fear for Ella.

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Speaker 1: She is young and doesn't really know what she's getting into.

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Speaker 1: I'm really scared for her getting married and being unable

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Speaker 1: to leave him when she realizes how sick it was

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Speaker 1: when I left and slammed the door, and I've been

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Speaker 1: receiving pretty wild messages and call since then. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I was wrong for this, but but am

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Speaker 1: I just overreacting? And if I wasn't wrong, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I can do to make them realize how

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Speaker 1: it is wrong?

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Speaker 2: Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 1: And we got a freaking up date? Dude, We've got

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Speaker 1: a freaking up date, I think everyone in that room

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Speaker 1: is out of their mind and you cannot do anything

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Speaker 1: to change anyone's mind.

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Speaker 2: I mean yeah, at that point, once they've said, like

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Speaker 2: all that matters is that she's happy, you're just jealous

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Speaker 2: of him, Like that's when it's insanity has left the

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Speaker 2: atmosphere of this place, Like you there's no reasoning with

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Speaker 2: people like I, is he super rich? Is that? Like?

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Speaker 2: Is that No, he's just a manipulator. I just can't

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Speaker 2: imagine a family actually supporting this unless they were just

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Speaker 2: being like super greedy and being like, oh, yeah, he's

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Speaker 2: like a ooh, he's a big millionaire, Like we don't

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Speaker 2: even care how just unbelievably unacceptably can be.

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Speaker 1: This is you know what these parents, I can't even

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Speaker 1: say anything because they have failed his parents at this point.

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Speaker 1: Black hole. They're in the black hole too. I don't

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Speaker 1: even know where they go. If I was ope, I

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Speaker 1: probably would be doing some petty things and make sure

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Speaker 1: this doesn't happen.

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Speaker 2: I mean, he said that he has a close relationship

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Speaker 2: with his knees, right, Like I would be going to

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Speaker 2: her and trying to have just a heart to heart

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Speaker 2: being like so, I don't know if your parents ever

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Speaker 2: had this conversation.

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Speaker 1: Dinner and then have that Yeah, and I would even

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Speaker 1: go I mean, I'd go to the internet. I'd be

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Speaker 1: going to TikTok. Dude, I'll be get doing to get

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Speaker 1: ready with me and be like, hey, this is what happened.

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Speaker 1: We need to stop this A police investigation update. You

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Speaker 1: didn't see my previous post, here's a tail of the arm.

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Speaker 1: So I've been taking the past twenty four hours to

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Speaker 1: really reflect on all of this. I try to take

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Speaker 1: in the most of the advice in the comments. Here's

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Speaker 1: what I've decided. I do not think that me telling

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Speaker 1: her and everyone that their relationship is weird was wrong.

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Speaker 1: I do ever think that I did it wrong and

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Speaker 1: that it was pretty harsh because it was in the

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Speaker 1: heat of the moment. But I still find this very

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Speaker 1: creepy and don't think she should get married. What I

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Speaker 1: have decided to do is this jest to her. I

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Speaker 1: sent her a text saying I was sorry for my

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Speaker 1: outburst and that I should have thought it through beforehand.

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Speaker 1: I told her that I never wanted her to make

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Speaker 1: her feel like I didn't want her to be happy,

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Speaker 1: and I love her very much and I had her

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Speaker 1: best interests in mind. Nice, I like this response.

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Speaker 2: You got to find your way back because now she's

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Speaker 2: defensive with you.

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Speaker 1: I asked her if we could talk about this. I

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Speaker 1: asked if she would be okay and free to hang

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Speaker 1: out and maybe get coffee this week to talk about

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Speaker 1: all of this with a clear head. I really want

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Speaker 1: to try and get together with her to show her

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Speaker 1: how it's weird and maybe marrying him isn't the best choice.

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Speaker 1: Explain myself to my brother. I sent him a text

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Speaker 1: saying that I was sorry for the way I said it,

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Speaker 1: but that I still thought that it needed to be said.

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Speaker 1: I explained to him why I think Mark is a

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Speaker 1: predator and this relationship could have a very negative and

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Speaker 1: damaging impact on Ella. I'm still waiting on the replies.

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Speaker 1: I'll update when they reply or when I see Ella

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Speaker 1: if she accepts, depending on how long it will take.

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Speaker 1: And we take time out of our days to go

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Speaker 1: live every weekday at three PMPST where Dakoda.

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Speaker 2: On YouTube, Facebook, Tick doc and Twitch. All you gotta

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Speaker 2: do is tap our profile on any one of those

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Speaker 2: respective platforms.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're in the live and we might even

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Speaker 1: be live right now.

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Speaker 2: But before you go check. Let's finish this story.

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Speaker 1: You have an update.

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Speaker 2: I think we've said everything that needs to be said

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Speaker 2: in terms of like this is completely unacceptable. I think

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Speaker 2: now if OP wants to kind of figure out how

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Speaker 2: to you know, alter the outcome of this, you know,

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Speaker 2: you got to do exactly what he's doing. You got

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Speaker 2: to have the heart to heart go to the coffee shop.

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Speaker 2: He's right, and that the way that he executed that

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Speaker 2: is now going to make it more difficult, Yeah, to

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Speaker 2: pull it off, but I think you still have to

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Speaker 2: try and you know, just be the voice of reason here.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah. In the meantime, I really want to thank

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Speaker 1: everyone who has been giving me advice and it was

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Speaker 1: constructive and really tried to help my niece out of

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Speaker 1: the situation. I also send my best to all of

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Speaker 1: the people in the comments sharing similar stories when they

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Speaker 1: were the teenager getting going to the dogs cleaners. I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry this happened to you, and I'm really hope

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Speaker 1: you're doing better now. I am checking for an update

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Speaker 1: at this freaking moment right now. There's no way there's

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Speaker 1: not an update.

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Speaker 2: The update better be that they didn't get married and

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Speaker 2: that they broke up. What business does a thirty six

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Speaker 2: year old man have hanging out with a seventeen year

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Speaker 2: old It would be weird if I was hanging out

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Speaker 2: with a seventeen year old who wasn't a girl like

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Speaker 2: that would just be weird. And I'm not even thirty

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Speaker 2: six and people would be like, what are you doing

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Speaker 2: hanging out with a high schooler? Yeah, you're like a

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Speaker 2: grown man.

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Speaker 1: Why did nobody ever say anything about that? We got

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Speaker 1: an update up date number three. I know it's been

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Speaker 1: a while since I posted the last update and a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have a requesting updates on the situation,

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Speaker 1: but until now I hadn't really received any news, So

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Speaker 1: please forgive me if this update took a while to come.

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Speaker 1: Since my conversation with Ella, Oh here we go, baby,

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Speaker 1: I told her I would check on her once or

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Speaker 1: twice a week and ask how things were, and she'd

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Speaker 1: always tell me pretty much the same as what she

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Speaker 1: told me a month ago. Basically, there was many red flags.

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Speaker 1: She was getting more and more uncomfortable in her relationship,

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Speaker 1: but she also didn't know how to break up with him.

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Speaker 1: Just high five me that she knows that there is

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Speaker 1: a problem.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to high five just a light

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Speaker 2: fist bump because I'm still we made progress. I'm upset

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Speaker 2: that she's in a creepy, uncomfortable relationship, yeah, but I'm

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Speaker 2: glad that she is seeing the light. Yeah. I wish

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Speaker 2: you would have seen it sooner.

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Speaker 1: I tried to give her some advice, but eventually told

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Speaker 1: her that I thought she should do it when she

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Speaker 1: felt comfortable. Yesterday, I called her to know what she

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Speaker 1: had planned on Christmas and if she'd be coming to

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Speaker 1: the Christmas dinner that I was hosting, and if Mark

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Speaker 1: would be coming. That's when she told me that she

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Speaker 1: and Mark had broken up with him the evening before

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Speaker 1: High five.

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Speaker 2: Now, yes, that's high five worthy.

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Speaker 1: Yes, she was pretty shaken up, so I didn't ask

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Speaker 1: for too much details and asked if she wanted to

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Speaker 1: come by my house for a while. She said that

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Speaker 1: Mark had left to stay with his family when she

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Speaker 1: told him, so, she was okay staying home. This is

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Speaker 1: maybe not a very detailed update, but here's what I know.

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Speaker 1: She told me that he had been getting angry at

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Speaker 1: her all week for small things they're starting to pop up,

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Speaker 1: and then they were talking about Christmas and he insisted

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Speaker 1: that they shouldn't go with Elli's family and instead spend

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Speaker 1: a week with his family because they see them less

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Speaker 1: often they live out of state. And after that, he

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Speaker 1: made a comment about how he hoped that next year,

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Speaker 1: as a president, they could give his mother a grandchild,

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Speaker 1: and Elisa, that really made her want to break up

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Speaker 1: with him.

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Speaker 2: This guy just gets worse and worse. Hey, let's give

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Speaker 2: my mom a gift of you being pregnant immediately within

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Speaker 2: the next three months. Yeah no, what you don't give

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Speaker 2: someone a grandchild as a Christmas gift? You freak?

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Speaker 1: That is crazy. That is insane, dude.

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Speaker 2: Thank god she got out of there.

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Speaker 1: And she also told me that she would be coming

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Speaker 1: alone for Christmas. I don't know what she told him

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Speaker 1: or how he reacted, and maybe she'll tell me more

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Speaker 1: in a while when she feels better, and if not,

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Speaker 1: I won't ask her. But if I get more information,

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Speaker 1: I'll edit this post. But for now, that's it. Again.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for anyone who gave advice and try to

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Speaker 1: help with the situation. Okay, great, I'm okay without the details,

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Speaker 1: but thank freaking gosh, she broke up with him.

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Speaker 2: Holy crap, dude. But that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: My brother cut ties with his son, but I invited

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Speaker 2: him to my wedding anyway, by say, let's get into

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Speaker 2: the drama. I thirty three Mail, am marrying my fiance,

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Speaker 2: thirty seven male, this winter. We're putting together the guest

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Speaker 2: list to send the invitations out, and have run into

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Speaker 2: an issue over my nephew and my brother.

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Speaker 1: I'm sensing a little homophobe.

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Speaker 2: Oh I hope not. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: user regular Dare ten fifty seven on the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay storytime subreddit. So, my brother, thirty eight Mail, was

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Speaker 2: eighteen when his girlfriend told him she was pregnant. They

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Speaker 2: ended up moving in together, and my brother decided to

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Speaker 2: go find work as a mechanic rather than go to

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Speaker 2: college as he'd planned. My nephew was born a little

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Speaker 2: while later. They got married when she told him she

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Speaker 2: was pregnant with their second kid, who is now fifteen female,

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Speaker 2: and then had two more who are now both ten male.

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Speaker 2: Ever since my nephew was born, he's been literally one

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Speaker 2: of my favorite people. I babysat him plenty of times,

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Speaker 2: same with my other siblings, and have spent my twenties

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Speaker 2: as their gunkle, which is gay uncle. Dude, we're gonna

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Speaker 2: get flagged for nibbling and we're gonna get flagged for gunkle.

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Speaker 1: Oh what an episode.

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Speaker 2: My brother and me were close as kids, and I've

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Speaker 2: been close with his kids as well. Five years ago,

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Speaker 2: my brother found out my nephew wasn't his and his

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Speaker 2: now ex wife had been sleeping with someone else at

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Speaker 2: the time and had suspected my oldest nephew wasn't my

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Speaker 2: brothers since he was a little kid. They ended up

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Speaker 2: getting a divorce and my brother didn't see custody of

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Speaker 2: my oldest nephew and said he didn't want to see him.

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Speaker 2: He told me that he need he had time to

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Speaker 2: process and would try to patch things up later. That

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Speaker 2: idea was kind of ruined when my nephew turned up

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Speaker 2: at my brother's apartment begging to talk, which turned into

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Speaker 2: an argument between them. For context, our father had just

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Speaker 2: passed a couple of months earlier. During the argument, my

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Speaker 2: nephew said something along the lines of, no wonder mom

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Speaker 2: fed somebody else. I bet Grandpa hated. He's just mad,

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Speaker 2: he's just resentful, and that doesn't happens when you abandoned

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Speaker 2: a child simply for being born. My brother cut things

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Speaker 2: off then and there and has refused to see my

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Speaker 2: nephew since I stepped in as the main male figure

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Speaker 2: in my nephew's life, much as I dislike my ex

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Speaker 2: sister in law. I even took him out for his

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Speaker 2: eighteenth birthday and took him looking at universities, and he

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Speaker 2: now goes to my alma mater. I asked my brother

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Speaker 2: how he wants to handle the seating situation if they

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Speaker 2: don't want to be close together. My brother was angry.

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Speaker 2: I'd even invite my nephew after everything that happened. Again, dork,

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Speaker 2: he didn't do anything wrong, he was just born. Stopped

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Speaker 2: taking out on him. He said it would be like

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Speaker 2: inviting my ex sister in law. Quote. He's not family,

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Speaker 2: He's just the prick who disrespected our dad. I said,

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Speaker 2: he's being petty and childish, taking the words of a

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Speaker 2: scared and angry fourteen year old. So personally, he was

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Speaker 2: a kid who said something crappy because his entire world

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Speaker 2: was falling apart and the person he'd relied on for

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Speaker 2: his whole life was suddenly pulling away. Yeah, and instead

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Speaker 2: of being understanding and doing family therapy or something like

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Speaker 2: a grown up. My brother decided to give adult weight

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Speaker 2: to a teenager's words and cut him off completely. My

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Speaker 2: nephew has said he's okay with not going if it's

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Speaker 2: causing an issue, but I told him not to be ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: He's important to me and I want him there for

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Speaker 2: when I marry my person. I told him he shouldn't

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Speaker 2: let my brother's inability to let go be his problem.

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Speaker 2: My fiance agrees with me. My mom and sister both

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Speaker 2: say I need to see it from my brother's perspective.

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Speaker 2: I think he's just being petty. Am I the A whole?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, dude, what's your thought on that? I

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Speaker 2: don't think he's the A hole. The father's clearly hurt.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't know what to do. He's still trying to

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Speaker 2: figure out what to do. And you know, finding out

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Speaker 2: your kids aren't actually your kids is a hard thing

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Speaker 2: to go through.

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Speaker 1: But that's true. I don't know, spent a lot of

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Speaker 1: time with that kid.

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Speaker 2: You've already raised the kid, YEA. Ifially for if it

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Speaker 2: was like a newborn, right, you've already raised the child,

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Speaker 2: it'd be different. If it's like he's coming with also

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Speaker 2: the sister in law, if he's coming with the ex

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Speaker 2: wife who is cheating. If it's just the nephew or

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Speaker 2: it's hard keeping track, the nephew is the person who

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Speaker 2: we're talking about, his son. I can understand it's a

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Speaker 2: complex situation, but that was just not you took it

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Speaker 2: out on the wrong person. Oh yeah, that guy, the

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Speaker 2: kid was innocent.

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Speaker 1: And as the gunkle you are, I would just be

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Speaker 1: there for the nephew, be there of course for all

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Speaker 1: of them, and be like, hey, I'm there. I know

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Speaker 1: your family's and champls right now when I'm here for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I try to explain like that your brother is

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Speaker 2: not handling this right and that he's also going through

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Speaker 2: something like you said. I mean, his whole world's falling

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Speaker 2: apart too. But you know, think of the children, the children,

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Speaker 2: Think of the children. Update. I decided to follow some

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Speaker 2: of your advice and talk to him about what happened

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Speaker 2: and set some boundaries with my brother. So I saw

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Speaker 2: him in person to talk things over. I told him

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Speaker 2: that my nephew has been in my life for more

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Speaker 2: than half of my life. I was fourteen when he

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Speaker 2: was born. I've been his uncle for nineteen years and

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Speaker 2: fundamentally He's not the one that betrayed my brother exactly,

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Speaker 2: And while I can't imagine what must have been going

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Speaker 2: through my brother's head at the time, it's not my

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Speaker 2: battle to fight, and even if it were, I'm not

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Speaker 2: obligated to take it out on a kid who had

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Speaker 2: nothing to do with it. What he said was extremely crappy. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but we're talking about someone who was fourteen at the

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Speaker 2: time and absolutely did not have the emotional maturity to

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Speaker 2: handle the situation. I told him my nephew was open

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Speaker 2: to a mutual apology. So bottom line, my nephew is invited,

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Speaker 2: and he's getting a plus one, and I will see

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Speaker 2: him away from my brother if he wishes, but that

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00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 2: is the most I will do. Nice. They can talk

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Speaker 2: or or not talk, kiss and make up or ignore

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Speaker 2: each other all night, but I'm not making it my fight. Nice.

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Speaker 1: I like that.

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Speaker 2: My brother said he understood and would think about it.

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Speaker 2: Then a couple days later, he inebriated texted me a

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Speaker 2: complete one eighty and asked if I could invite ex

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Speaker 2: sister in law two, which I think is probably because

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Speaker 2: he RSVP'd including his new girlfriend as his plus one

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Speaker 2: and she's twenty six. I think, oh boy, definitely don't

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Speaker 2: do that. Oh boy, I just know. My niece complained

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Speaker 2: it was gross that her dad's new girlfriend was a

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Speaker 2: year closer to her age than his. That's not a

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Speaker 2: good look, dude. My brother at his best is charming, confident,

355
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Speaker 2: looks wise, kind of like a chunkier version of me.

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00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:46,320
Speaker 2: So not bad looking. Humble flex from ole, flex from grunkles,

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00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,920
Speaker 2: and he had no trouble pulling women post divorce once

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Speaker 2: he got his confidence back and lost weight. I declined

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00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 2: his wasted request. But his girlfriend is nice, and I

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00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 2: told my niece that girlfriend is inside the half plus seven,

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Speaker 2: so he can't be completely grossed out. Since some have

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Speaker 2: asked about my nephew and ex sister in law, I'll

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00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,399
Speaker 2: explain she didn't know for sure that my nephew wasn't

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Speaker 2: my brother's, but she's strongly suspected and she was sleeping

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Speaker 2: with both her affair partner and my brother at the time. Wow.

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Speaker 2: So he did all that without even absolute confirmation too,

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Speaker 2: which is that's crazy to me.

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Speaker 1: It's wild after you've already.

369
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,199
Speaker 2: Raised the child for about a year after the divorce.

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Speaker 2: My nephew would throw the deception back in her face,

371
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Speaker 2: every time she reprimanded him until I sat him down

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Speaker 2: and pointed out that the more people he pushes away,

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Speaker 2: the fewer people he has in his corner when things

374
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Speaker 2: go south. Bottom line, she is his mother. After the

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Speaker 2: debacle with my nephew, my brother and ex sister in

376
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 2: law were more careful with my niece and the twins

377
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,480
Speaker 2: about not making adult problems their problems as well. Sorry,

378
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 2: there was no scarlet a like many of you would

379
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 2: have liked. She's not my favorite person, but I can

380
00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:00,000
Speaker 2: sort of tolerate her. By the way, We'll always tolerate you.

381
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 2: If you show up to our live stream every weekday

382
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,479
Speaker 2: three pm PSD on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. All

383
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,679
Speaker 2: you gotta do is tap our profile and you're in.

384
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,800
Speaker 2: And we might even be live right now. But before

385
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,440
Speaker 2: you check a little bit left, consolidate our thoughts and

386
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,400
Speaker 2: finish the story because there's a little bit left.

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00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:21,680
Speaker 1: Ohp he's been too nice about the handing out these invitations. Yeah,

388
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 1: he's very nice handing out all these invitations for his wedding.

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00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, there's no flaw in any

390
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 1: of Op's logic here. I haven't seen anything.

391
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,920
Speaker 2: OP is right in everything that they've done so far.

392
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 1: I'm taking notes.

393
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,280
Speaker 2: It's not his fight. It's just so unfortunate that this

394
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,560
Speaker 2: his brother just dropped the ball so hard happened. It's

395
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,479
Speaker 2: an emotional moment. But like, and they don't even know

396
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:46,359
Speaker 2: that it's not his kid. It's just suspect. Yeah, you

397
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,160
Speaker 2: at least want the paternity test, right, Like that's yeah,

398
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,920
Speaker 2: it's insane to me that that wasn't done before the

399
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 2: blow up and the pullback. Yeah yeah, yeah, yea, yeah,

400
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,119
Speaker 2: that doesn't make any sense. That's really weird. So shout

401
00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 2: out to you for not letting your brother like further

402
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,560
Speaker 2: alienate what could very well be his actually his own

403
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 2: child regardless. You know, you're the good uncle, you're the coaguncle. Yeah,

404
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,200
Speaker 2: because you're the cool gay uncle. Let's finish this story.

405
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 2: To answer the question about his bio dad, my nephew

406
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,200
Speaker 2: has expressed zero desire to meet him. He says he

407
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,679
Speaker 2: doesn't get why people think a perfect stranger could replace

408
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 2: my brother, Like being abandoned out of the blue never happened,

409
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,960
Speaker 2: And again, still don't know for a fact whether or

410
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 2: not this is his kid or not. Maybe there is

411
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,400
Speaker 2: a visual distinction that we are not tuned into because

412
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,400
Speaker 2: we're just reading the story. Yeah, like maybe they are

413
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,399
Speaker 2: identical copies of one another.

414
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 1: And dude, this is literally your kids. Like I can

415
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 1: tell but what I told you, my dad is actually

416
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 1: my dad.

417
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,920
Speaker 2: What if you told me your dad isn't actually your dad,

418
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know what to say.

419
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,159
Speaker 1: Would you believe me?

420
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 2: I mean, you'd have to show me first. My nephew

421
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 2: RSVPD yes, and is taking his they friend. His significant

422
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 2: other is non binary and that's what they're calling themselves.

423
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,360
Speaker 2: So so fingers crossed for a happy ending. And that

424
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:07,160
Speaker 2: is the end of that story, right all right, dude

425
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,440
Speaker 2: that I took notes, you might as well adopt the nephew. Man, Yeah,

426
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 2: you're a better father to him than his own father was.

427
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 1: And then you could be k grunk dad, kuad.

428
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 2: Grunkle father, crunkle father, her father, cou grunkle. We have

429
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 2: never had a kugrunkle father here before. I don't think

430
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 2: we've ever told a story with a kadgrunkle father before.

431
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 2: Cool gay uncle father. Yes, that's awesome, but that is

432
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 2: the end of that story.

433
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Speaker 1: My kids hit their mom's affair, so I'm prioritizing my

434
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 1: brother's kids over them.

435
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 2: Oh, maybe you don't keep that secret from your dad.

436
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 1: I fifty seven, Mel was married to my wife for

437
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,160
Speaker 1: almost twenty five years. We divorced four years ago after

438
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,439
Speaker 1: I found out about her infidelity. She had an affair

439
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:50,639
Speaker 1: partner for almost five years. She is now with her

440
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 1: a fair partner. The whole process hurt me a lot

441
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,879
Speaker 1: because everything I did in life, I did it for

442
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:59,200
Speaker 1: my wife and kids, and now to find out about

443
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 1: my wife, it just hurt me. By the way, this

444
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 1: comes from Okay principles on the R size Okay story

445
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 1: time celebred and So my two children, twenty nine female

446
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: and twenty six male, had known about the affair for

447
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: years and they hid.

448
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 2: It from me. No no, no, no, no, no, no

449
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 2: no no.

450
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: They both felt very guilty about it, and I don't

451
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,520
Speaker 1: blame them because they didn't want to break up their family.

452
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,360
Speaker 1: My daughter even cried a lot and apologized a lot

453
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 1: of times. I told her it was all right. They

454
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 1: had their own life now and I didn't want this

455
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 1: eating them up, so I told them just to let

456
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 1: go of the gilt. However, since I found out that

457
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 1: they had hidden the affair for me, I lost a

458
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,120
Speaker 1: lot of love for them. I wasn't going to cut

459
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 1: them out of my inheritance or will or anything like that,

460
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 1: but emotionally I couldn't connect with them at all. I

461
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:49,399
Speaker 1: also have a niee thirty female, and a nephew twenty

462
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 1: eight male, who I have been very close with. You

463
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 1: get one practice family, so it looks like he's going

464
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:57,640
Speaker 1: to the next family, especially since their father passed away

465
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 1: at a really young age. I played a father role

466
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 1: during their young years because losing her husband at such

467
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 1: a young age was very tough for my sister. Over

468
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 1: the last four years, I have also been looking forward

469
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 1: to spending more time with them. Both my niece and

470
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 1: nephew have children, and they have had invited me over

471
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,359
Speaker 1: for their children's birthdays. Have also invited me over for

472
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 1: their own birthdays, on Father's Day and holidays. Overall, we

473
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 1: are a very tight knit, multi generational family, and I'm

474
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: very proud to be a grandpa to their children and

475
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: we are already developing a bond. However, in doing so,

476
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 1: I have also lost all interest in connecting with my

477
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,440
Speaker 1: own children. My daughter has two children, while my son

478
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,479
Speaker 1: has his first child on the way. They have invited

479
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: me over multiple times but I've told them I'm busy.

480
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 1: I rarely go over if at all, and I've missed

481
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 1: almost all of their children's special occasions. I am not

482
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:54,520
Speaker 1: really interested in being a grandpa to their children monetarily. Sure.

483
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 1: I have been sending them gifts, but I just don't

484
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 1: feel like seeing them at all. My daughter especially, actually

485
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 1: seems very her at it at times, but I'm sure

486
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 1: she understands the reason for this. Am I the a whole?

487
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: Comments Silver Track ninety nine says, you say it's all right,

488
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 1: but is it really? Don't lie to yourself, tell them

489
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: the truth, Tell them it was not okay and f

490
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 1: and dumb. Karen says you're absolutely right. Also, I'm curious

491
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 1: if his children maintained a relationship with their mother and

492
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: her former affair partner solas current partner, if they would

493
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,880
Speaker 1: be present for the same events. If so, it would

494
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,439
Speaker 1: be a major salt in the wound for op to attend.

495
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: Chez two two two says, not the a hole for

496
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 1: prioritizing your niece and nephew, But you do need to

497
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 1: be honest with your children and tell them that they

498
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 1: lost her trust when they didn't tell you about their

499
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: mother's affair telling them not to feel guilty about it

500
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 1: was obviously our kindness from you to make them feel better,

501
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: But you should have told them also that even though

502
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 1: you don't want them to suffer from guilt, you also

503
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 1: don't trust them, and sarcastic Pediment says, I've seen this before,

504
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: I've read the person's comment before, and I get it

505
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: wrong every time. So Cassid Penman says, it's more than that.

506
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:10,240
Speaker 1: Though they caused irreparable damage to their relationship and he

507
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: has forgiven, but he can't forget and pretend they are cool.

508
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 1: If he tells him he lost trust, they may try

509
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,640
Speaker 1: to work on it and increase their contact. If he

510
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 1: explains that he understands why they did what they did

511
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: and that means he forgives them, he is not able

512
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: to forget, maybe they will see this is a direct

513
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: consequence of their actions. The shame is it isn't Opie's

514
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: grandkid's fault, and now his ex wife has taken away

515
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 1: his marriage, his kids and grandkids from, which is so sad.

516
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 1: You disagree with that also.

517
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 2: I'm furious it's not his children's fault. I'm sorry. Was

518
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: he married to his own kids and then they go

519
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: cheat on him. No, he was married to his wife

520
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 2: that cheated on him. Can you really like hold a

521
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 2: grudge for the rest of your life against your own

522
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,720
Speaker 2: children for not knowing how to navigate one of the

523
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 2: most like nuclear bomb scenarios they've ever faced in their

524
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 2: whole life. By the way, they've probably got their mom

525
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 2: in their ear being like, don't tell them, because you're

526
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 2: gonna ruin the whole family and you're gonna break us

527
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 2: all up. They're afraid, they're petrified.

528
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 3: They're not being like, wouldn't it be funny if we

529
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 3: never told dad that mom's cheating on him. It's like,

530
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 3: I'm scared to my core to say anything about it,

531
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,439
Speaker 3: so I'm probably going to pretend it's not happening in

532
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 3: order to maintain my own sanity.

533
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 2: Like, what are you guys talking about? This is insane?

534
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:30,679
Speaker 1: This is so insane A.

535
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 2: Comments Am I crazy? Am I off the rails here?

536
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 1: Okay? Leader seventy six twenty four says this is how

537
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,640
Speaker 1: damaging affairs can be. You're not just effing up your

538
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 1: life or your relationship with your spouse. You heard everyone

539
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: in the nuclear family and splash damage beyond OPI, this

540
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 1: was all your wife's doing. She's the one who cheated.

541
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: She is the one who put your children in a

542
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: position to hide what they discovered in the first place.

543
00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 1: She's the one who continued with their fair partner instead

544
00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,080
Speaker 1: of stopping it right then and there. They knew it

545
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,479
Speaker 1: was wrong of their mother. But talk about being between

546
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: a rock and a hard spot. Do we tell Dad

547
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,880
Speaker 1: and break his heart, break up his marriage to our

548
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: mother who will be devastated, to uproot our whole lives

549
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: because we told Are we now to blame because we

550
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 1: didn't want to ruin the whole marriage and family dynamic?

551
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,320
Speaker 1: Or do we hope to God this all goes away

552
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 1: and this family can get back to normal. Your children

553
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: or a responsibility to protect, not the other way around.

554
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: Why I force that upon them? Doing so ruined your

555
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 1: relationship with her and them? You would do yourself a

556
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 1: great service to go to counseling. It's just too much

557
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: to bear alone. Good luck go Pete. I truly hope

558
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: you think about and repair your relationship. They're just as

559
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 1: a victim as you are. The code.

560
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 2: Did you comment on this and forgot? I think I

561
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 2: blacked out and forgot I wrote there because that is

562
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 2: literally exactly what I've been saying, and I feel like

563
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: an elephant has been lifted off of my chess. I

564
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 2: was so mad at the one before that one. Yeah, yeah,

565
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:01,440
Speaker 2: how dare you people? Dude that long person with any

566
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 2: person executed it perfectly like he didn't. Oh, he didn't

567
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,480
Speaker 2: get too mean. You're lucky. I know I didn't write

568
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,120
Speaker 2: that because I would have been way mean.

569
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,639
Speaker 1: Shift the blame away from the children and said they

570
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 1: are also in the same boat as you are, and

571
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 1: you don't need to be sinking the boat.

572
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 2: It's absurd, and it's like clearly again, like clearly a

573
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 2: sign that this guy needs to go to counseling because

574
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 2: he's traumatized and he doesn't have any outlet to put

575
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 2: that into because I mean, I would assume the ex

576
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 2: wife is completely out of his life, right, So the

577
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: only sort of you know, channel for these lingering feelings

578
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 2: he has, I guess, is inevitably getting directed at his kids,

579
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: which is not there to anybody involved.

580
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 1: And we got a freaking update. Let's go thank you

581
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: all for the advice. So one thing I got from

582
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: most comments was that my children deserve to know the truth,

583
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 1: not to be left in a limbo like it was

584
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 1: for years, and that's what I just did.

585
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 2: Oh God, but see, I don't think you're ready to

586
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 2: do that. I think you're actually gonna end up hurting

587
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 2: your kids more. And I hope to God that I'm wrong.

588
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 1: I agree with him. I just got off a video

589
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 1: call with my daughter and my on The call was

590
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: pretty rough and extremely emotional, but I got everything off

591
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 1: my chest. I told them that while I had forgiven them,

592
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: I could never forget it, and that for my mental

593
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: health it was better we limit our interactions.

594
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 2: You're so right, she's so stupid. Did it wrong?

595
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 1: And I hate to say, and I don't want to

596
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 1: rush anyone's wounds with time, but it has been four

597
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,240
Speaker 1: years since this happened, and he.

598
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 2: Still he got traumatized. Dude, your whole life was a lie,

599
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 2: but you're misdirecting it and you needed to go before

600
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 2: you had this conversation. Whoever gave you this advice it

601
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 2: needed to make sure that you do it after therapy.

602
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 2: You were not ready to bring this up, and you

603
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 2: are only hurting your kids more.

604
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: I told them not to feel guilty about anything, but

605
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 1: that also after dedicating more than half my life to

606
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 1: my wife and children. It was time I put myself first.

607
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 1: I told them my heart wasn't in it to be

608
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: a grandparent to their children. I was also honest with

609
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: them and told them my heart was only in it

610
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: for my nephews and my niece's kids. And whenever I

611
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: did go to their house, I felt joy for my

612
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: own children. I felt nothing. My children probably already knew it.

613
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: I wanted them to hear it directly from me. It

614
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: was really hard to get it off my chest and

615
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: say it directly to my children's face.

616
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,640
Speaker 2: Shut up, dude, it was really hard for you.

617
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: This is how he truly feels. This is how we

618
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: truly felt for years. This is hard for him to

619
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 1: go through. I don't think what he's doing is right,

620
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: but saying his true feelings is probably really pretty tough

621
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:29,239
Speaker 1: for him.

622
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: Ready to do it, bro, you don't even know what

623
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 2: your true feelings are because you need to go to therapy.

624
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: I told them they were still welcome to come to

625
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: my house anytime and called me anytime when they needed

626
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: to help.

627
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, like they're gonna do that now that you said

628
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 2: you don't care about them and you like your niece

629
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: and nephew as a son and daughter more than them.

630
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, by the way, you can come and help Dakota

631
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: calm down on our live shoots every weekday three PMPST.

632
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 1: Just tap our profile when we're liable on YouTube, Twitch, Facebook,

633
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: and TikTok.

634
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 2: The thought of all of you beautiful people has now

635
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 2: brought a smile fought. It's like the what was the

636
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 2: thing that a Yeah, you had the right idea, but

637
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,120
Speaker 2: the timing was wrong and you needed to have more

638
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 2: tact Right.

639
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 1: We're gonna finish the story. Both my children took the

640
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:11,960
Speaker 1: call really hard, but I think my daughter took it

641
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: the worse. Those are really ugly tears, and I felt

642
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: really bad about it. I do feel a sense of relief,

643
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: and I have pretty much told all my feelings to

644
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: my children, did not keep anything secret. I can now

645
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,959
Speaker 1: move forward with my life, and so can my children.

646
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: He's the guy where it's like, oh, well, now that

647
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 2: I've said everything, I don't need to go to therap

648
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,959
Speaker 2: because I got it off of my chest. Let this

649
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: be a lesson to anybody who finds himself in a situation.

650
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: But that is the end of the story.

651
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 2: My sister doesn't respect our time. It ruined our schedule.

652
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 2: Please bear with me because the title may be misleading. Ooh,

653
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: I twenty nine female and my boyfriend Mike twenty eight

654
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 2: male have been together just over two years. Yesterday was

655
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 2: technically three Thanksgivings together, but we did not spend our

656
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,520
Speaker 2: first with each other's family because we've felt like we

657
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: were too new for the holiday. We wouldn't. We would

658
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 2: have been dating for about two months and only officially

659
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 2: together for one Okay fair by the way, this comes

660
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: from user Daphne's food giver on the r slash Okay

661
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: storytime starbred it last year was not the usual due

662
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 2: to the fact that my dad had suddenly passed two

663
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 2: weeks before the holiday. Oh dang, sorry to hear ter.

664
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: Mike was also avoiding his dad's place since he had

665
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 2: a friend from out of town that was overstaying her

666
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: welcome and he couldn't stand that woman. It's important to

667
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 2: note his parents have been divorced since he was ten,

668
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 2: but by some design, they both moved states and ended

669
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 2: up living right next door to each other. For incidence,

670
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 2: Mike's mom doesn't cook at all unless it's in the microwave.

671
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 2: She's very wary of cooking electricity and open flames. She

672
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 2: was in a house fire as a child, and we

673
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 2: both agree that she's still traumatized by it, which h yeah, yeah,

674
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 2: unresolved childhood Trump what a classic.

675
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: Steff said, ninety percent of our problems are from our childhood,

676
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: for sure.

677
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 2: So with the holidays, we bring her as much leftover

678
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 2: as she can store. Mike's parents are also not well

679
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 2: off financially, and so we know every little bit means

680
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 2: a lot to them. Also note that she goes to

681
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: bed at six pm. For context. On my side, my

682
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 2: brother and his family drive an hour and a half

683
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 2: down to spend the holiday here, but have at least

684
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: three places to stop when they come down. My one

685
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 2: sister lives in California, so we FaceTime with her at lunch.

686
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: We do cracker barrel at takeout, and go to our

687
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 2: grandma's nursing home to spend this time with her. So

688
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 2: locally it's me, my mom, and my oldest sister and

689
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 2: her family. This year, I tried to get plans moving

690
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: at the start of November. I heard nothing. I keep

691
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,959
Speaker 2: bugging my mom for plans or if she's heard anything

692
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 2: from my sister here. Let's call her K thirty eight female.

693
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 2: To make a very long backstory short, Kay and I

694
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: have a rocky relationship, which has caused me to decide

695
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 2: I'm going low contact, even though we minutes away from

696
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 2: each other. Simply put, were she not my sister, I

697
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 2: wouldn't want to have any association with her.

698
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: Dang.

699
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 2: My other siblings feel the same way as I do

700
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 2: about Ka. She has a lot of narcissistic traits and

701
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: lives her life revolving around her. My other sister, thirty

702
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 2: one female, and I both agreed that the family member

703
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 2: we both talk about the most in therapy is K.

704
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 2: By far oo ah, you're the one paying. Kay's the

705
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 2: one paying the therapist bills. I mean, yeah, she's getting

706
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: the therapist paid.

707
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 1: She's got the therapist on retaining.

708
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 2: I gave up trying to make plans with my family

709
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 2: because of course, Mom couldn't get a hold of K

710
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 2: to get anything set in stone. Flash forward to a

711
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 2: week before the holiday and my mom finally gets back

712
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 2: to me that Kay really wants to fry a bird

713
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 2: this year. I have out lost it because Kay has

714
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 2: no business using a fryar, especially with her very unserious personality.

715
00:33:57,040 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 2: I'm grateful she at the very least had a fire extinguisher. Honestly,

716
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 2: I thought I would have cooked the turkey this year

717
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 2: after how good mine had turned out the prior year.

718
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 2: Me personally, I make a perfect turkey. So I don't

719
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,959
Speaker 2: even know what we're talking about. Plus goofball over years

720
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 2: gonna burn down the garage trying to deep fry a turkey.

721
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,839
Speaker 2: It was so tender my sister abandoned the knife and

722
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:22,440
Speaker 2: just pulled the meat right off with her hands. We've

723
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 2: never seen a carcass so clean. The problem is this

724
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 2: debate started when I texted the group chat that I'd

725
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 2: like to make a mac and cheese this year, and

726
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,319
Speaker 2: I'll make a pie since it's been a few years

727
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 2: since I've made one. Mom said she'd bring some sides.

728
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 2: Kate responded saying we were planning on a small thing here.

729
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting this, so I text Mom, are we

730
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 2: even getting together? My brother's family only had time for

731
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 2: lunch this year, so it would have only been us locally.

732
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,399
Speaker 2: I needed to know what our timeline was so Mike

733
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,359
Speaker 2: and I could carve out a few hours to spend

734
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: with his parents if we were all eating together, especially

735
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 2: since they lived fairly close to my grandma facility. The

736
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 2: whole weekend, I couldn't get a straight answer, and I

737
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 2: was so frustrated that Sunday night, I texted my mom,

738
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 2: if I don't have a definitive timeline by tomorrow, I'm

739
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 2: getting my own food and cooking for Mike and I

740
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 2: and inviting his parents. Ooh, it's a long explanation, but

741
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 2: just inviting his parents to my side would not have worked.

742
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: We are assured we'd be eating by five, so Mike

743
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 2: and I could be at his parents by six, see

744
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 2: his mom for a bit, give her leftovers, and spend

745
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 2: time with his dad at least a couple hours. The

746
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 2: day comes and we leave Grandma's around two thirty. It's

747
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 2: maybe twenty to twenty five minutes back to my mom's.

748
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 2: We had been there for at least an hour. When

749
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: my sister finally gets back to her house down the road,

750
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 2: the three of us are very annoyed. Yeah, as you

751
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 2: should be, because it's down the road. I start the

752
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 2: mac and cheese and get it to the point it

753
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: just needs to get baked at Ka's. I then find

754
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: out at lunch, Kay apparently told Mike she'd need his

755
00:35:56,360 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 2: help getting the fire put together. Oh, it's okay. It

756
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 2: looks like you're not ready to fry the turkey. You'd

757
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 2: like Mike to do it.

758
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 1: Mmm, And I know my dad froes turkey every year.

759
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: That takes some time.

760
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's takes time and skill and effort, which is

761
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 2: something it doesn't sound like Kay has a lot of

762
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 2: when it comes to deep frying a turkey. When he

763
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 2: told me this, I was livid. After the mac and

764
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 2: cheese was done, we went over together because, to be honest,

765
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: I don't trust her around him without me. She's acted

766
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 2: and done stuff that has made Mike incredibly uncomfortable in

767
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 2: the past.

768
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 1: Uh oh du te hmm.

769
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 2: She has not had a good track record with men,

770
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 2: and it's painfully obvious to me and my siblings that

771
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 2: she's jealous of our relationship.

772
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 1: Ah, God, help stuff this bird, Mike.

773
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 2: And Mike's just like, dear God, why why? Now? Mike

774
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: is annoyed and upset because he's stuck being the appointed

775
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:59,800
Speaker 2: fry man and assembling this thing without the proper tools. Meanwhile,

776
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 2: he says, the next door neighbor fries like seven turkeys

777
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,360
Speaker 2: a holiday and this year only did four. What the

778
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 2: heck would one more have been He could have put

779
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,919
Speaker 2: it together and cooked it for her while we were

780
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 2: on the way home.

781
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I G you should have lined that up.

782
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like, why how are you providing solutions with

783
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 2: like zero execution when it's your job to execute the solution. Oh,

784
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 2: come on. K K thrives in chaos. She has three

785
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 2: Great Danes, three birds, two cats, five to six chickens,

786
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 2: and a rooster at her home. This is a residential area,

787
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 2: but we are zoned to allow chickens. The entire time

788
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: we're cooking inside, her dogs are up our butts and

789
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 2: we are making sure they don't eat anything when we

790
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 2: turn our backs.

791
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 1: Oooh, dogs with no manners are the worst.

792
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, truly, an untrained dog is not man's best friend.

793
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 2: And by the time we even get the fryer going,

794
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 2: we can't have them outside with the open flame and

795
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 2: the hot oil, so we're screwed. No matter what. Kayla's

796
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 2: k's AC is also broken, so the house is hot

797
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 2: unless she smacks the unit just right, which is an

798
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 2: all time classic. Kay ends up getting her neighbor to

799
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: come drop the bird in for her, and by this

800
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: point it's five thirty. It takes forty five to sixty

801
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 2: minutes to cook this small bird, and all Kay did

802
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 2: was brine it for a few days, pat it dry,

803
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 2: and throw a rub on it. Mike ended up actually

804
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: manning the friar and stuck making sure it was cooked

805
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 2: evenly in the dark and being eaten alive by mosquitoes.

806
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 2: Where was Kay during this? She spent twenty to thirty

807
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 2: minutes over at that neighbor's hanging out while Mike cooked

808
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 2: her bird. It was just him and I outside by now,

809
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 2: and he lost it on me, saying, ef my family, right.

810
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 2: I feel like all we've done is everything for your family,

811
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 2: and my parents have gotten screwed. I'm an only child

812
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 2: and my parents are quite literally the only family I have.

813
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 2: And yet here I am cooking your sister's food, and

814
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 2: I know your mom is going to have some comment

815
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,239
Speaker 2: to say about this turkey, like it's too dry, or

816
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 2: it tastes weird, or it's cold or whatever, and I'm

817
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 2: gonna feel like crap. I won't lie. This hurt my

818
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 2: feelings a lot because I thought I had planned everything

819
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 2: out and made sure we would have plenty of time

820
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 2: to spend with his parents. Well, you shouldn't feel bad

821
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 2: about that, op, because it's not your fault, Kay's fault.

822
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: Be like, oh you gotta go. Oh see, that's what

823
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: you can do.

824
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, we already have made plans by I can't

825
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 2: cook the deep, I can't man the deep friar because

826
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 2: I have to go. Yeah yeah, yeah, maybe make her

827
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 2: think about the consequences of her actions. My mom walked outside,

828
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:30,399
Speaker 2: and I took a moment to leave and go into

829
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 2: the garage to gather my thoughts. Later, Mike told me

830
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 2: my mom said to him that we should have just

831
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 2: done it at her place and I cook, because at

832
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:42,760
Speaker 2: least we would have been on a schedule like I wanted.

833
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 2: After going over everything and the events of today, I

834
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 2: just came back to the conclusion that Kay's selfish nature

835
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 2: is the entire reason we're in this situation and nothing

836
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 2: has gone according to plan. I got really angry, to

837
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 2: be honest, so much so that by the time we

838
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 2: even ate, I had lost my app a tight completely. Dang,

839
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 2: you ever been so mad you're not even hungry? Yeah, yeah,

840
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 2: that's happened to me. Like maybe once same I was overheated,

841
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 2: her dogs were all up on us, and now my

842
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 2: boyfriend got mad at me for her actions and choices

843
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 2: that put us in this situation. Hindsight, being twenty twenty,

844
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 2: we should have just seen his parents before lunch, but

845
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 2: I wanted to make sure we got his mom the leftovers.

846
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 2: Kay even tried to take credit for the turkey turning out.

847
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 2: Well wow, well, good good thing. It turned out pretty good.

848
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 2: He's like, I'm taking credit because I'm the one who

849
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 2: told him to make the turkey. Everyone agreed that the

850
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 2: best food made was my mac and cheese.

851
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:39,720
Speaker 1: Oh jeez.

852
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 2: Kay noticed I wasn't eating much and asked if I

853
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,839
Speaker 2: was okay. I just lied to her and said, yeah,

854
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,360
Speaker 2: I'm just so hungry that I'm not hungry anymore. To

855
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 2: be honest, I was not hiding my annoyance. Well, we

856
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: left at eight pm for his dad's. As we were

857
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 2: all making the to go plates, Kay left her freaking

858
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 2: birds out of the cages and they were flying around

859
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 2: and they were all hanging out in the kitchen as

860
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 2: we were putting food away. Yeah they're sweet, yes, but

861
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 2: we had been yelling at her kids fifteen male and

862
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,839
Speaker 2: nine female all night to keep the freaking chickens out

863
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 2: of the house while we were cooking. Her kids had

864
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 2: added another layer of annoyance because they had both gone

865
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 2: to the neighbor's house and eaten his turkey while we

866
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 2: all cooked. What a betrayal. You're going to eat the

867
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,240
Speaker 2: neighbor's turkey before your own family's turkey.

868
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 1: Stretch through jail jail.

869
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 2: By the time we got to Mike's dads, we only

870
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 2: have like thirty minutes to spend with him because Mike

871
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: had to work in the morning. What's worse is his

872
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 2: dad had made a ton of food, expecting some neighbors

873
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: and some of his buddies to come through, and no

874
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 2: one showed up. No, Kay, You're not only ruining your

875
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 2: own Thanksgiving, your ruining Mike's dad's Thanksgiving. Two.

876
00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 1: That's so sad.

877
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 2: On the drive home, we both apologized to each other

878
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 2: for what we had said and how we had acted.

879
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 2: Being angry on top of everything definitely didn't help. We

880
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 2: both agreed that today was only horrible because of Kay's

881
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 2: lack of care to our time, and this is just

882
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,239
Speaker 2: another notch in her history for us. I told Mike,

883
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 2: I'm never doing this again. We will have Christmas here

884
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,800
Speaker 2: with his parents instead of going to my brothers. To

885
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,439
Speaker 2: make up for yesterday and next year we will switch

886
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,879
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. So am

887
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:20,240
Speaker 2: I the a hole for not prioritizing my in laws

888
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 2: more this holiday? Or would I be the a hole

889
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,280
Speaker 2: for never attending a holiday dinner with my sister again?

890
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 2: But before we talk about that, I want to talk

891
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 2: about y'all attending our live streams every weekday at three

892
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 2: pm PST on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and TikTok. All you

893
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 2: gotta do is tap our profile and you are in

894
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 2: the live and we might even be live right now.

895
00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 2: Would you be the a hole for never attending a

896
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,120
Speaker 2: holiday dinner with your sister again?

897
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 1: Uh, give us some time?

898
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that might be a little extra. I

899
00:42:53,200 --> 00:43:00,320
Speaker 2: think definitely you're probably right for not joining one that

900
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:04,160
Speaker 2: she's like hosting because she can't. That just sounds like

901
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:08,320
Speaker 2: a nightmare, Like seven chickens, two dogs, like birds everywhere

902
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 2: the kids are, you know, bringing chickens in the house.

903
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 2: It's like, it just sounds like absolute chaos. And if

904
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 2: you don't want that to be your holiday dinner gathering experience,

905
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 2: you don't have to let it be. Edit for those

906
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,439
Speaker 2: saying we should have left at our designated time, Mike

907
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 2: had his moment around the time we would have left.

908
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 2: After my own annoyance set in, I told him I

909
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 2: wanted to tell my family to f off and go

910
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 2: to his parents. He insisted we stay because at the

911
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 2: moment we were the only capable adults there to prevent

912
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 2: a serious oil fire that would have either burned the

913
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 2: house down or sent someone to the hospital or sent

914
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 2: an animal to the vet. My sister and the neighbors

915
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 2: had already been drinking, and my mom just isn't physically

916
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 2: capable to lift the bird out or prevent the dogs

917
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: from running her or the fire over. We both agree

918
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 2: that we are at fault and we wanted to give

919
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 2: the day the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately we

920
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 2: learned our less in the hard way. Also, had we

921
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 2: left at that time, Mike's mom would not have had

922
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 2: an issue staying up for us. We both plan on

923
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 2: making it up to them and that is the end

924
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 2: of the story. Right, Yeah, so that's great. Never let

925
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 2: k host Thanksgiving or cook the turkey again for ever. Again,

926
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 2: literally being like, we can't leave because if we do,

927
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 2: the house is gonna burn down. That's you. Don't let

928
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 2: that person host Thanksgiving? Are you serious? Yeah, but that

929
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 2: is the end of that story and the end of

930
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 2: that episode.

931
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

932
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.

933
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: My entitled sister freeloads for a living, so I cut

934
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 1: contact with her.

935
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 2: Uh snip snip.

936
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 1: This is a multi decade family drama, and I've finally

937
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:55,280
Speaker 1: made some difficult decisions, but they've left a bitter taste

938
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: in my mouth. So I need some advice. My sister

939
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: forty five, let's call her, was badly bullied at school.

940
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: She also has a horrible relationship with my dad, who

941
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 1: struggles to control his emotions and was verbally aggressive when

942
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: we were kids. Things got better and I managed to

943
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: build a reasonable relationship with him, especially because for the

944
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: most part, he worked very hard to take care of

945
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:21,840
Speaker 1: his family. By the way, this comes from Admiral dig

946
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 1: twenty three oh six on the r Side show. Okay

947
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: story Tom subraheb So Amy never forgot and she's very

948
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:32,399
Speaker 1: open about hating everything about him, well, everything except his money.

949
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 1: Amy's experience has left her depressed and vulnerable for a

950
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 1: long time. My whole family tried to help. We supported

951
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: her mentally and financially. We were available anytime she needed us,

952
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,719
Speaker 1: supported her therapy, and even helped her when she left

953
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 1: her job almost twenty years ago. Sometimes people need a break,

954
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 1: but this prol hog break has now turned into an

955
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: entitled lifestyle and it's out of control. Amy lives on

956
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 1: benefits due to her disability. However, this is not the

957
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 1: type of disability that prevents people from working and help

958
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,960
Speaker 1: from the family. She's so entitled that she can easily

959
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 1: say things like pick me up for a family, gallering

960
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 1: it's not a big deal, while simultaneously refusing to be

961
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 1: picked up by our dad, who lives close to her

962
00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: and it's on his way.

963
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 2: That's why are you trying to be inconvenient? On purpose?

964
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 1: I stopped giving her money after I lent her some

965
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 1: and we agreed she wouldn't have to pay it back

966
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 1: if she went to work. I was hoping it would

967
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 1: motivate her, well kind of. She worked for a few hours,

968
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 1: then decided she didn't like it, then claimed she had

969
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 1: fulfilled her agreement and refused to give me back my money.

970
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 2: What do you mean she went to work for a

971
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 2: few hours, She got hired at a job, and then

972
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 2: quit after a couple hours. She worked, what do you mean, okay,

973
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 2: you're missing the point where she worked fair. I found

974
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 2: a loophole in our agreement.

975
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,480
Speaker 1: Ah, this was the last time I gave her anything. However,

976
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:01,240
Speaker 1: I didn't want to exclude her from a family vacation

977
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: last year. That's when crap hit the fan. My husband

978
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: and I invited my siblings with their spouses and kids,

979
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,280
Speaker 1: as well as my parents for a small family vacation

980
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,280
Speaker 1: in the mountains. I am betting you ten thousand dollars

981
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,840
Speaker 1: this is in Pigeon Forge or Gatlinburg, Tennessee. I'm betting

982
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:21,280
Speaker 1: you ten thousand dollars this is exactly where this happened.

983
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 1: I wouldn't take that bet because I bet you it's

984
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: Pigeon Forge. It's it's either one. They're like in the

985
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 1: same place. That's my culm shoe. That's my Niggai woods

986
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 1: right there. He that there's my negative wood. I paid

987
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 1: for everything. We agreed on the location. I swear she's

988
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:40,280
Speaker 1: probably gonna say cabin and everyone got quite excited, especially

989
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 1: because I live far away and I don't see my

990
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,840
Speaker 1: parents as often as i'd like to. Once everything was organized,

991
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: Andy started bombarding me with messages asking me to uninvite

992
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:53,120
Speaker 1: my dad. She was convinced he would ruin our vacation.

993
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 1: I told her it wasn't an option, she said, discussing

994
00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 1: things about him. Mind you, this is the man who

995
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 1: pays her bills every month and tried to convince me.

996
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 1: She and tried to convince me she was doing it

997
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 1: for my mom and the rest of the family. Based

998
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: on her actions, people would assume he was really horrible

999
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 1: to her. I understand he wasn't a perfect father to

1000
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 1: any of us, but he tried his best, and an

1001
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: adult should be able to recognize that. Anyway, I refused.

1002
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: Then she gave me an ultimatum, him or her.

1003
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 2: I like the next part of that sentence, where she goes, this.

1004
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 1: Was quite easy for me. I uninvited her and canceled

1005
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 1: her room in the hotel. The second I did that,

1006
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: I felt relief. My whole family, even my mom, supported

1007
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 1: this decision. The only person who did not support it

1008
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 1: was my dad. Hmmm, this is quite the twister.

1009
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 2: Maybe he's I don't know. Maybe there's a dynamic between

1010
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 2: this sibling and the dad that no one's tapped into

1011
00:48:58,280 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 2: except for them.

1012
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,800
Speaker 1: I extremely shocked when he called me asking if he

1013
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: could give his room to Amy. He was under the

1014
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 1: impression that there weren't enough rooms in the hotel for

1015
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 1: her and that she had been randomly excluded. Okay, okay,

1016
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,719
Speaker 1: I see, now, never mind, I see we got some

1017
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:20,839
Speaker 1: line going on. I almost exploded. I told my dad

1018
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,080
Speaker 1: that this was her manipulating him after trying to ruin

1019
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: the holiday for the whole family, and no he could

1020
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 1: not give it, and no he could not give away

1021
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: his room to her. We went on the holiday and

1022
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,439
Speaker 1: it was all nice. I didn't share Amy's words about

1023
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 1: him with my dad because it would have broken his heart.

1024
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:42,560
Speaker 1: But this situation opened my eyes to many others similar

1025
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: situations where Amy was playing the victim to benefit from it,

1026
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:51,040
Speaker 1: usually financially. She emotionally manipulates people to get them to

1027
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 1: confirm they love her and then ask them for favors,

1028
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 1: always stating that it's not a big deal for them

1029
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 1: after all. Considering all this, I decided to contact with

1030
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:06,439
Speaker 1: her completely. We only argue anyway, and I left every

1031
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 1: conversation with her feeling tired and angry and unsettled.

1032
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I mean, that sounds like a no

1033
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 2: brainer right there, especially when it's like.

1034
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, ah, that's just just gonna try to get money

1035
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:19,919
Speaker 1: out of you one way or another.

1036
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 2: Maybe one day, Amy, will you know, look back and

1037
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 2: realize she made mistakes. Maybe she'll get into some therapy

1038
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 2: and realize.

1039
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 1: Oh m m, something's gonna have to happen to the

1040
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: dad where he doesn't financially support her, and then she

1041
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:34,919
Speaker 1: will have to hit rock bottom for her to change

1042
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: her life.

1043
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 2: I hate that that's probably exactly what has to happen.

1044
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 1: I recognize that her laziness and entire little men are

1045
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:45,880
Speaker 1: causing our family to drift apart. I finally told her

1046
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: all of this and went no contact, and now I

1047
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: feel guilty.

1048
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 2: Oh no, did you explain to her why? That might be?

1049
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,120
Speaker 2: Part of why you're feeling so guilty? Is you? You

1050
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 2: didn't have the conversation with her as to why you're

1051
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,760
Speaker 2: going to know contact, and I bet you her response

1052
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:08,240
Speaker 2: to it would make you feel a lot less guilty.

1053
00:51:08,480 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you probably needed that closure of releasing her.

1054
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you needed to have some sort of dialogue instead

1055
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:17,080
Speaker 2: of just making that decision.

1056
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: She was left by her long term partner because she

1057
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 1: refused to go to work, even though she's perfectly capable

1058
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 1: of doing so. I think she is extremely lonely. My

1059
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,359
Speaker 1: mom has no option, and my other siblings have gone

1060
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 1: low contact too, though less drastically than I have. It's

1061
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 1: probably because over the years she expected the most from me,

1062
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: and I feel more used than they do. I started

1063
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,920
Speaker 1: to think she will probably end up alone, and that

1064
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: makes me sad. But the thought of spending time with

1065
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: her also makes me sick.

1066
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 2: That's a hard thing to reckon with.

1067
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 1: When I explain my point of view to her, my

1068
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:58,840
Speaker 1: reasons for lacking respect, et cetera, she got offended. She

1069
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 1: called me judgmental, am blind to what she brings to

1070
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:06,839
Speaker 1: the family table. And that's the truth. I don't see

1071
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 1: a single positive quality that she brings to the table.

1072
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: So sounds like maybe OP did have a conversation with

1073
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 2: her about it and brought up some of these things.

1074
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:21,520
Speaker 2: And uh, she said, you don't even know how valuable

1075
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 2: I am. Remember when I worked for three hours that

1076
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 2: one time and stole your money from you? What if

1077
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 2: I did that to everyone?

1078
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: And yes, I am judgmental at this point because I

1079
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:34,959
Speaker 1: feel tired of being used. I can't respect a forty

1080
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: five year old living off of others and expecting constant help.

1081
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:39,439
Speaker 2: She's forty five.

1082
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,120
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you forgot that part. She's been forty five

1083
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 1: this whole time. Oh way, Yeah.

1084
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 2: Op says something about like a disability that like she

1085
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 2: makes her not able to work, but like she's like,

1086
00:52:50,600 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 2: but it not really and it's like I wonder what

1087
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 2: it is. Yeah, because it's like Opie, it might who knows.

1088
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,399
Speaker 2: We don't have the full context for that, so OPI

1089
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,319
Speaker 2: might be in the wrong. Maybe it's prey she really

1090
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:01,280
Speaker 2: does have like a disability.

1091
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:03,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, we gotta see where this disability is. I can't

1092
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 1: love her either, which is sad because I used to

1093
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 1: think she was my best friend. Am I the a

1094
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:11,399
Speaker 1: hole for hating her so much? And should I share

1095
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 1: my feelings with my dad and the discussing thing she

1096
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 1: says about him behind his back? Christmas is coming and

1097
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 1: none of my family members want this drama. She will

1098
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,840
Speaker 1: spend Christmas alone and I feel bad, and I also

1099
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 1: feel it's deserved. She is a horrible person, but she

1100
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 1: is still a blood relative. It's is it okay to

1101
00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 1: dump a sister when you know how lonely she is?

1102
00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 1: And we got some additional information. She has to take

1103
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:42,840
Speaker 1: responsibility that she is lonely because it seems like she

1104
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 1: is pushing out people that don't agree with her lifestyle

1105
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 1: when her lifestyle isn't shambles.

1106
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 2: And I think that being you know, coddled by the

1107
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 2: dad or being you know is supported in this way

1108
00:53:56,360 --> 00:54:00,640
Speaker 2: for so long has completely robbed her of any feelings

1109
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 2: of responsibility. Yeah, and I do think that the dad

1110
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:08,040
Speaker 2: deserves to know that he's being talked about like that.

1111
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:12,880
Speaker 2: Be delicate about it, though, like just let him know, Like.

1112
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 1: But I don't, I don't would that be too far

1113
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 1: because once he knows this might even caught off financial

1114
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:19,279
Speaker 1: support on her.

1115
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess once you hear that, you can't

1116
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 2: put the genie back.

1117
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 1: In the bottom.

1118
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,240
Speaker 2: But if you want your sister to change as a person,

1119
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 2: I mean, she might need to hit rock bottom. Additional info,

1120
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:34,400
Speaker 2: she's the oldest sibling. I am in my mid thirties,

1121
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 2: working two jobs, a regular one and trying to build

1122
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 2: a business on the side. My hard work has never

1123
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,880
Speaker 2: been appreciated or acknowledged over the years. I have been

1124
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 2: slapped countless times with compliments like it's nothing for you.

1125
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 1: It's not a big favor to ask, or what's the problem,

1126
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 1: and we'll have a problem with you if you don't

1127
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 1: join us live every weekend on three pmpst on YouTube, Twitch, Facebook,

1128
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 1: and TikTok. Just join us and we probably live right now.

1129
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,439
Speaker 2: We won't have a problem with you if you don't

1130
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 2: join every time, but maybe just.

1131
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:07,000
Speaker 1: Will have a problem. I will have a problem with

1132
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 1: you if you don't join every time I'm there. Why

1133
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,280
Speaker 1: can't you be? She never even bothered taking her alllet

1134
00:55:12,360 --> 00:55:16,200
Speaker 1: out when my family went for weekly shopping or an

1135
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 1: occasional restaurant outing. Covering for her was always expected because

1136
00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:25,800
Speaker 1: she's such a poor girl. My husband despises her and

1137
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 1: has said countless times he'd rather see her languishing in

1138
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: the street rather than living with us when my parents

1139
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 1: stop paying for her flat. The more I think about it,

1140
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:40,280
Speaker 1: the more I agree with him. But her only response

1141
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 1: is always but we're family. And after she does something horrible,

1142
00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:50,280
Speaker 1: she has the audacity to say, in a sad voice, oh.

1143
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 2: Why would anyone like me? Or your husband never visits me?

1144
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:59,080
Speaker 1: He must not like me. She's a master and making

1145
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,080
Speaker 1: me feel sorry, bad and guilty.

1146
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,800
Speaker 2: Ah. Man, She's lucky she didn't say that to me,

1147
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,440
Speaker 2: because I'd be like, how'd you know?

1148
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, he doesn't, how'd you know, that's so tough to

1149
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 1: lose respect for your sister like that, that was once

1150
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 1: your best friend. Yeah, but I mean, you know you

1151
00:56:15,680 --> 00:56:16,320
Speaker 1: have no respect.

1152
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:19,879
Speaker 2: You actually wish they were their fluids were going down

1153
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 2: the drain on the side of the street. I would

1154
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 2: like to think, Oh, he's being a little hyperbolic when

1155
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,839
Speaker 2: saying that. Oh no, man, however, I'm sure. I'm sure

1156
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 2: they would feel relieved to no longer have to deal

1157
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:35,799
Speaker 2: with them, is probably what that was coming from. But yeah,

1158
00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,399
Speaker 2: you can't play that. You can't play that game with me, dude,

1159
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:41,760
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't play a game. So if somebody

1160
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 2: comes up to me and goes, why don't you like me,

1161
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:49,239
Speaker 2: I'll be like, here's reason one. Oh, here's reason two. Like,

1162
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:52,839
Speaker 2: but again, it really does take a lot for someone

1163
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 2: to get to that point with me. I can't even

1164
00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:56,920
Speaker 2: tell you, like, a list of five people that I

1165
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 2: don't like, I can name one, because I usually if

1166
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 2: I don't like somebody, I just don't really associate with

1167
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 2: them either. It's hard when it's your sister. I could

1168
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 2: probably name six for you, the Jonas brothers and then

1169
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 2: their exact clones. Oh wow, my sisters disrespected my ex wife,

1170
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 2: so I called her out. Oh so we got some films, eh,

1171
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:24,000
Speaker 2: d I'm calling you out. I forty male and my

1172
00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 2: ex thirty eight female, have three kids. Ever since our

1173
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:31,560
Speaker 2: divorce in twenty fifteen and my mom's passing in twenty sixteen,

1174
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:35,440
Speaker 2: my two older sisters have been not directly, but very

1175
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:39,960
Speaker 2: indirectly disrespectful towards my ex wife when we divorce. My

1176
00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 2: mom never treated my ex any differently. Always considered my

1177
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:47,840
Speaker 2: ex her daughter and mother of her grandchildren and gave

1178
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 2: her that respect. Moving on to the issue at hand.

1179
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user puzzle headed Cup

1180
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 2: seventy two forty eight on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1181
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 2: My sister decided to text my daughter nineteen female and

1182
00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 2: said quote, I know your mom is going through a

1183
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:06,960
Speaker 2: lot and busy with school and work, and I just

1184
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 2: wanted to let you know if you kids want to

1185
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 2: celebrate Christmas, we will help get you here between now

1186
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 2: and Christmas for you and your brother and older sister

1187
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 2: if she chooses. I know your older sister is flying

1188
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,800
Speaker 2: over around the holidays, but maybe come when she's not visiting.

1189
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 2: I just want you guys to have a little Christmas cheer.

1190
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 2: My ex called me yesterday when this happened and was

1191
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 2: crying on the phone, hurt by what they said. This

1192
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:33,440
Speaker 2: infuriated me and pissed me off, and I told her

1193
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 2: i'd handle it. When I got home from work. I

1194
00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 2: sent a lengthy text to my sisters and below is

1195
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 2: what it says. Go off papav be popah wote. I

1196
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 2: don't know nor do I care about the reason behind

1197
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 2: this text. Reading this text, it is extremely offensive on

1198
00:58:50,240 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 2: every level. Just because my ex, who is sacrificing a lot,

1199
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 2: is busy with school and work. What makes you think

1200
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 2: we won't be doing anything for Christmas. We may not

1201
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 2: be putting up a tree, but we're still planning things

1202
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,720
Speaker 2: for Christmas, just like after Nana's passing. Christmas is very

1203
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 2: rough for us since losing Mom. We do what we

1204
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:12,560
Speaker 2: feel is necessary for our kids. And for you to

1205
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:15,560
Speaker 2: feel the kids won't have any Christmas cheer is absolutely

1206
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 2: offensive and flat out pisses me off. My ex sacrifices

1207
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:23,720
Speaker 2: for everyone, She puts things together for us. She keeps

1208
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 2: the spirit of Christmas in any holiday going for the family.

1209
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:30,080
Speaker 2: I would be lost without her even after we divorced.

1210
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 2: Mom never treated her differently. She was still her daughter

1211
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 2: and the mother of her grandchildren. If you want to

1212
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 2: make plans with my children, you go through her. You

1213
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:40,880
Speaker 2: don't talk to my kids, you bring it up with her.

1214
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 2: If you bring it up to me, I always talk

1215
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 2: and clear anything with her. After daughters sent that text

1216
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:49,920
Speaker 2: to her mom, she called me in tears, upset by

1217
00:59:49,960 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 2: what was said, and implied that in that text message

1218
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:55,560
Speaker 2: she is not sure if she's reading into it or

1219
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 2: if that is what was meant, but it hurt and

1220
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,480
Speaker 2: upset her. This is and we will not be tolerated

1221
01:00:01,880 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 2: ever again, plain and simple. My ex is the mother

1222
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 2: of my children and my best friend. If push comes

1223
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 2: to shove, I will always choose what is best for

1224
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:12,720
Speaker 2: my family, even if that means cutting people out who

1225
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,640
Speaker 2: can no longer respect the mother of my children. Do

1226
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,720
Speaker 2: not call or text my ex or I back tonight

1227
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 2: or this week. I have been absolutely pissed off and

1228
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 2: frustrated today by this text sent to my daughter. As

1229
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 2: far as my children coming out for Christmas, that is

1230
01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:30,400
Speaker 2: not and will not happen. Plain and simple, you have

1231
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 2: absolutely hurt my ex's feelings with that text that was sent,

1232
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:36,920
Speaker 2: and absolutely infuriated me, please abide by what I have

1233
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 2: requested to do and not text any of us until

1234
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 2: after Thanksgiving weekend. Oh my god, you were steaming dude,

1235
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:49,439
Speaker 2: was h It's probably years of resentment though, well, I mean, yeah,

1236
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 2: it's gotta have been, like, you know, bubbling under the surface,

1237
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 2: because like you said, it's always been this indirect sort

1238
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 2: of disrespect. Yeah, yeah, and it all just came to

1239
01:00:57,960 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 2: a head in this moment.

1240
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:03,720
Speaker 1: They are upset because of all these years X being

1241
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 1: treated like probably like better than the older sisters were,

1242
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,520
Speaker 1: because the older sisters were too selfish and like, oh

1243
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 1: my gosh, why are you giving me my mom blah blahah.

1244
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:15,040
Speaker 2: I understand X bashing. It's like we've all done that

1245
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 2: at some point for someone that we are related to

1246
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,800
Speaker 2: or we're friends with, Like yeah, you know, just try

1247
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 2: to raise their spirits. But if they make it clear,

1248
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:25,040
Speaker 2: like hey, don't bash my ex, I still have a

1249
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 2: good dynamic with them, and still don't my children. Yeah,

1250
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 2: it's not like we just dated. It's like that's the

1251
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 2: mother of my kids. Like, I'm not going to stand

1252
01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 2: here and let you like disparage her. Yeah, But at

1253
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 2: the same time, I think you do need to check

1254
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 2: in with your kids to see what they want and

1255
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 2: if they do want to go. Like, after I sent that,

1256
01:01:47,440 --> 01:01:50,680
Speaker 2: my sister started texting and calling immediately. Great, so she

1257
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 2: doesn't she didn't listen at all. Huh, Like, please just

1258
01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 2: don't reach out until after Thanksgiving, literally three minutes later.

1259
01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 2: I am sick and tired of them always acting this

1260
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 2: way and treating my kids mom like rap. After all,

1261
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,760
Speaker 2: she has sacrificed. My kids are older, so Christmas isn't

1262
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 2: the same as it used to be. Our kids this

1263
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:13,960
Speaker 2: year want to go drive around and look at lights,

1264
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 2: and on Christmas Day they just want to do stockings

1265
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 2: and hang out at home and watch Christmas movies and

1266
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 2: play game, doing what's important, spending time with family. Am

1267
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 2: I wrong for being angry at my sisters and standing

1268
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,640
Speaker 2: up for my kids? Mom? Am I the a hole

1269
01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:32,720
Speaker 2: here on this? Honestly I don't feel bad, as this

1270
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 2: argument has been brewing for years and it's finally come

1271
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 2: to a head. Yeah. I don't know. Only possible way

1272
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:43,040
Speaker 2: I could consider you like the a hole here is

1273
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 2: if your daughters were like, but we want to go

1274
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:48,800
Speaker 2: to our sisters, Yeah, which I from the sound of it,

1275
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:50,040
Speaker 2: it's like they don't want to do that at all,

1276
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 2: So I don't think it's out of pocket for you

1277
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 2: to have been like, that's never happening. Clearly you said

1278
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,520
Speaker 2: that because you knew they didn't even want to do

1279
01:02:57,560 --> 01:03:00,480
Speaker 2: in the first place. So you're more mad because your

1280
01:03:00,520 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 2: sister's like, low key trying to poison the minds of

1281
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 2: your daughters against their mother, which, yeah, that's that's terrible. Yeah,

1282
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:11,720
Speaker 2: why would you do that? Anyway, there is an update.

1283
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:16,040
Speaker 2: So first off, happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Hope the holiday

1284
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,920
Speaker 2: was good. Also, I never expected to get such a response,

1285
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:21,360
Speaker 2: and I answered some questions from people, but will give

1286
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 2: a better insight and an update on the situation. Now

1287
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:27,600
Speaker 2: back to the story with my sisters, they have always

1288
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 2: been toxic with my children. I'm the only one in

1289
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:34,000
Speaker 2: my family to have kids. One sister was married and

1290
01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 2: now a widow. The other has never been married or

1291
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 2: had a major relationship and no kids for either of them,

1292
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 2: and my sisters like to interject and be the parent

1293
01:03:44,040 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 2: and force time with my kids or guilt trip them

1294
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:48,600
Speaker 2: into going to visit. We used to live close to

1295
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,320
Speaker 2: each other until we moved about six hours away, and

1296
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:54,160
Speaker 2: now it's the guilt of being far away and not

1297
01:03:54,520 --> 01:03:57,920
Speaker 2: seeing them often that they throw at my daughters. When

1298
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 2: my kids go to visit my sisters, it's with chores

1299
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:03,320
Speaker 2: and do this and do that for me. Then it's

1300
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 2: constant bashing on their mom and complaining about how we

1301
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:07,920
Speaker 2: are keeping them from my sisters.

1302
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:08,360
Speaker 1: Weird.

1303
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:13,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, overall, it's just not a good environment. When I

1304
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,440
Speaker 2: got married, one of my sisters was pissed because we

1305
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:20,120
Speaker 2: moved our wedding day up due to my nana, the grandmother,

1306
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:24,040
Speaker 2: being sick and passing away. According to her, it was

1307
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,640
Speaker 2: actually because my ex was pregnant with our middle child,

1308
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:31,360
Speaker 2: not because my nana was up. Damn. It actually sent

1309
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 2: a spike into my chest because that's what I call

1310
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:37,080
Speaker 2: my grandma. That's weird. No, I'm fine. It was just

1311
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:39,760
Speaker 2: like it's saying that out loud. It was like, well, yeah,

1312
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 2: she's all right. I talked to her yesterday. She was

1313
01:04:42,480 --> 01:04:43,680
Speaker 2: sick for like a couple weeks though.

1314
01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:45,680
Speaker 1: So my nana tellt me about the Malibu fires.

1315
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:49,240
Speaker 2: I love you, Nana. According to her, it was because

1316
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 2: my ex was pregnant with our middle child, not because

1317
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 2: my nana was passing away. I have a total of

1318
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 2: three kids, two her adults and my youngest in their

1319
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:02,160
Speaker 2: late teens. Oldest lives about ten minutes from them and

1320
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:04,960
Speaker 2: wants nothing to do with my sisters. As far as

1321
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 2: my other daughter that is an adult, she doesn't want

1322
01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:10,280
Speaker 2: to allow her resting bee face to take over and

1323
01:05:10,480 --> 01:05:13,520
Speaker 2: snap at my sister's and to some of the comments

1324
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 2: about my kids being adults. And I get that, Yet

1325
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 2: when do you, as a parent stop protecting your kids

1326
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 2: from toxic people, especially family. My mom was the glue

1327
01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:27,120
Speaker 2: that held the family together. She helped keep my sisters

1328
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:30,240
Speaker 2: reined in and under control. Since her passing, it's just

1329
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:35,440
Speaker 2: not been the same onto my ex wife. We divorced

1330
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 2: nine years ago. We were together for eleven years, married

1331
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 2: for ten almost eleven years. We divorced because we are

1332
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 2: both capricorns. I'm sorry, I'm gonna do this right now.

1333
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:54,000
Speaker 2: Never let your astrological charts be a factor and your divorce.

1334
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:56,439
Speaker 2: Come on, dude, they were both Capricorns. You know they're

1335
01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:59,960
Speaker 2: not compatible. It can be fun. Don't make it a divorce.

1336
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:02,960
Speaker 2: For God's sake, dude, I would be careful with the

1337
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 2: words you say. I'm saying, don't divorce over both being capricorns.

1338
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:10,640
Speaker 2: Still be careful that is not out of pocket. Beyond

1339
01:06:10,760 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 2: being Capricorns. The big problem was that we got caught

1340
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 2: up in our careers and raising our family and put

1341
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,320
Speaker 2: us on the back burner. Okay, you want a new,

1342
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:22,560
Speaker 2: a fun experiment. I don't care. Here it comes. I

1343
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,680
Speaker 2: did a thing where I mixed up all of the

1344
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:31,560
Speaker 2: descriptions of the astrology stuff and no I did. I did,

1345
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:33,720
Speaker 2: and everyone was like, oh my god, yeah, that's me.

1346
01:06:33,960 --> 01:06:35,919
Speaker 2: That is so right. And I'm like, really, because that's

1347
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:38,760
Speaker 2: it shouldn't be you. And they were like, how could

1348
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:39,120
Speaker 2: you do that?

1349
01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:44,800
Speaker 1: I'm like, uh, dadda, oh boy, it's like fortune cookie ud.

1350
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:46,640
Speaker 2: I just think it's ridiculous to say in the same

1351
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:49,960
Speaker 2: sentence that we got divorced, because you then say we're

1352
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:53,320
Speaker 2: both capricorns. Just leave that part out and say you

1353
01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:55,560
Speaker 2: were so wrapped up in your career and raising your

1354
01:06:55,640 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 2: family that you guys stopped being partners to each other.

1355
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:01,800
Speaker 2: We tried counseling, going back to date nights, and it

1356
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:05,400
Speaker 2: just didn't work. Now, since our divorce, it has not

1357
01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:08,560
Speaker 2: been easy to co parent like we do. However, we

1358
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 2: put the work in and put feelings aside and truly

1359
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 2: grew closer as friends than we ever were as a

1360
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:17,520
Speaker 2: married couple. Conspiracy theory, they're gonna get back together. She

1361
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:21,080
Speaker 2: is my best friend and my emergency contact. So if

1362
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:22,920
Speaker 2: I'm on life support, she's the one who gets to

1363
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,280
Speaker 2: pull the blood. Who better than an ex wife to

1364
01:07:25,360 --> 01:07:29,040
Speaker 2: make that call. My ex wife made sure that our

1365
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:32,800
Speaker 2: oldest child, her bonus child, knew that when we divorced,

1366
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,320
Speaker 2: she was always going to be her mom. My ex

1367
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 2: and our oldest have an amazing relationship, one that is

1368
01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:40,160
Speaker 2: amazing and beautiful.

1369
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:42,640
Speaker 1: Person.

1370
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 2: Yes, and now we get the update. Oh boy, I

1371
01:07:46,840 --> 01:07:49,080
Speaker 2: will admit that I function at a deaf con three

1372
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:51,720
Speaker 2: to two every day with my sisters. I'd say I

1373
01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:55,920
Speaker 2: go deaf Con four maybe three, protecting my kids and family.

1374
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,280
Speaker 2: I will never apologize for or put up with. So

1375
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:02,960
Speaker 2: update here we go. Found out my father told my

1376
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:07,400
Speaker 2: sisters we were not doing Christmas. Iral He had no

1377
01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:10,560
Speaker 2: idea what our plan was, and my sisters never asked us,

1378
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,720
Speaker 2: just sent the text to my daughter. Now, I guess

1379
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:16,120
Speaker 2: here is where I'm an a hole. Only one of

1380
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:18,920
Speaker 2: my sisters was involved in the text. Guess I should

1381
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:22,519
Speaker 2: have asked first. Now we are doing Christmas this year?

1382
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 2: It's just not traditional. Instead of gifts and going crazy,

1383
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:28,840
Speaker 2: we're drawing names and just doing stockings and having a

1384
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 2: nice day at home with family. After I sent the

1385
01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:34,799
Speaker 2: text to my sisters, the one sister called and texted

1386
01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:37,360
Speaker 2: me and my ex wife, and the gist of what

1387
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:40,000
Speaker 2: was said to me was quote, I am punishing her

1388
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,680
Speaker 2: by not talking to her, and I should really call

1389
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:46,120
Speaker 2: her talk about this, and I should have called, not texting.

1390
01:08:46,760 --> 01:08:49,519
Speaker 2: She texted my ex wife, I'm sorry for saying that

1391
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:52,560
Speaker 2: Dad said we weren't doing Christmas and she should have

1392
01:08:52,720 --> 01:08:55,160
Speaker 2: asked us, and this was an opportunity to see the

1393
01:08:55,240 --> 01:08:58,000
Speaker 2: kids more. They also told my ex You've always been

1394
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:01,200
Speaker 2: my sister in law and that's never changed. Changed. Oh well,

1395
01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:05,280
Speaker 2: I guess that's a good turnaround, right, Okay, someone's kind

1396
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:08,120
Speaker 2: of seen the I mean, it sounds like it could

1397
01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:10,559
Speaker 2: have just been all a misunderstanding that stemmed from Dad.

1398
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:14,759
Speaker 2: Before we talk about that, let's talk to them, because

1399
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:17,080
Speaker 2: I want y'all to know that we go live literally

1400
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:21,840
Speaker 2: every weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch.

1401
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:23,760
Speaker 2: All you gotta do is tap our profile and you're in.

1402
01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:26,560
Speaker 2: Could just be a misunderstanding in this one case, and

1403
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:31,600
Speaker 2: then the previous incidents that OP detailed of, like the

1404
01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:37,920
Speaker 2: low key disrespect, like the low key like not super upfront,

1405
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 2: but like just kind of you can get a sense

1406
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:42,240
Speaker 2: that that's what's going on. Yeah, built up into this

1407
01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:44,000
Speaker 2: moment where now he was ready to jump on it

1408
01:09:44,240 --> 01:09:45,920
Speaker 2: and he said, oh, now they're trying to blow up

1409
01:09:45,960 --> 01:09:49,920
Speaker 2: our Christmas. Nuhuh not hap, I'm putting you in your place,

1410
01:09:50,439 --> 01:09:53,559
Speaker 2: when really the sisters are like, oh, I just Dad

1411
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:55,639
Speaker 2: told us that there's no Christmas happening.

1412
01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:57,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, there definitely needs to be a conversation.

1413
01:09:58,520 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 2: All I can say is the actions and the words

1414
01:10:01,960 --> 01:10:05,920
Speaker 2: say otherwise. Now, my youngest does sports and sometimes we

1415
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:08,640
Speaker 2: have to travel near our hometown for competitions, and my

1416
01:10:08,720 --> 01:10:11,680
Speaker 2: youngest doesn't want their aunts to even be there. My

1417
01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:14,760
Speaker 2: sisters are and have been toxic towards my kids, their

1418
01:10:14,800 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 2: mom and I since my ex and I got married.

1419
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:19,679
Speaker 2: So it looks like they're just trying to save face. God,

1420
01:10:19,880 --> 01:10:23,000
Speaker 2: it looks like they're just making excuses for their bad behavior.

1421
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:25,879
Speaker 2: Right now, the decision is to go very limited contact

1422
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:28,240
Speaker 2: with my sisters as far as my kids. They just

1423
01:10:28,360 --> 01:10:31,960
Speaker 2: put them on do not disturb on their phones. Classic.

1424
01:10:32,720 --> 01:10:35,600
Speaker 2: What That's one thing. J like the new kids on

1425
01:10:35,680 --> 01:10:38,920
Speaker 2: the block. They certainly know how to just like let

1426
01:10:39,200 --> 01:10:42,200
Speaker 2: toxic people be. Oh yeah, I've always tried to keep

1427
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:44,160
Speaker 2: the peace with my family, but at this point the

1428
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:47,759
Speaker 2: disrespect is just too much. Hopefully this update clears issues

1429
01:10:47,840 --> 01:10:50,639
Speaker 2: or questions, and I hope everyone has a great holiday

1430
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,799
Speaker 2: and a new year. And that's the end of that story.

1431
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:56,400
Speaker 2: Is the end of story, all right? I like this

1432
01:10:56,600 --> 01:10:59,960
Speaker 2: energy got us, They almost got us at the end

1433
01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:04,240
Speaker 2: in there. I almost believe those sisters, But but history

1434
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:07,000
Speaker 2: tells us the truth.