1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,480 Margot Blouin: Welcome back to She Pivots. I'm Margot Blewin. 2 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:16,479 Emily Tisch Sussman: Welcome back to She Pivots, the podcast where we talk 3 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: with women who dare to pivot out of one career 4 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:23,760 Emily Tisch Sussman: and into something new and explore how their personal lives 5 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:31,720 Emily Tisch Sussman: impacts these decisions. I'm your host, Emily Tish Sussman. There 6 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,040 Emily Tisch Sussman: are certain stories that stay with you, not just because 7 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,880 Emily Tisch Sussman: they're powerful, but because they remind you of what's possible 8 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: when we stop trying to separate the personal from the professional, 9 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:48,400 Emily Tisch Sussman: and Margot Bluin's story is exactly that. In recognition of 10 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,839 Emily Tisch Sussman: Pride Month, I'm honored to have Margo join us to 11 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:55,240 Emily Tisch Sussman: talk about how her transition into becoming a woman was 12 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,880 Emily Tisch Sussman: integral to the success and growth of her company, Cadstrum. 13 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,960 Emily Tisch Sussman: For Margo carried the weight of a truth she wasn't 14 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,280 Emily Tisch Sussman: sure she could live out loud. The internal battle of 15 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:11,039 Emily Tisch Sussman: whether or pow to transition wasn't just a personal decision. 16 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:17,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: It touched everything her relationships, her work, her identity, and 17 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,039 Emily Tisch Sussman: for a long time she thought she had to choose 18 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:25,200 Emily Tisch Sussman: between authenticity and ambition. As she rose through the ranks 19 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,360 Emily Tisch Sussman: in the tech world, she decided to start her own company, 20 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: identifying as a man at the time, but her body 21 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,679 Emily Tisch Sussman: started to respond to the truth that Margo kept pushing 22 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:39,560 Emily Tisch Sussman: deeper and deeper, and eventually her body broke. She looked 23 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,120 Emily Tisch Sussman: inward and accepted her identity that was always knocking at 24 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:47,040 Emily Tisch Sussman: her door. In the end, it was because she embraced 25 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,360 Emily Tisch Sussman: her identity that she was able to truly grow her company. 26 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:55,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: Transitioning wasn't a detour, it was the foundation, and what 27 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,760 Emily Tisch Sussman: she once feared would be seen as a weakness became 28 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:03,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: her greatest strength. Margo is a true representation of how 29 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:08,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: the personal and the professional are always intertwined. Her story 30 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:12,000 Emily Tisch Sussman: reminds us that stepping into your truth isn't just brave, 31 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:13,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: it's essential. 32 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,560 Emily Tisch Sussman: So, without further ado, Margo Blouin. 33 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:27,040 Margot Blouin: I'm Margo Bluin and I'm the founder and CEO of Cadstrom, 34 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,639 Margot Blouin: we help electrical engineers build printed circuit boards that make 35 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,880 Margot Blouin: up electronic devices that work right the first time. So, 36 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,640 Margot Blouin: as it turns out, if you are trying to build 37 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,639 Margot Blouin: an electronic device, most of the time people can't get 38 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,480 Margot Blouin: that to work. And it's not because they don't know 39 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,160 Margot Blouin: what they're doing. It's because they don't have the tools 40 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,079 Margot Blouin: to be successful. And so you can kind of think 41 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:52,800 Margot Blouin: of us like spellcheck for circuits. We go in, we 42 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,400 Margot Blouin: build a tool that looks at the circuit and tells 43 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,720 Margot Blouin: the engineer, Hey, if you plug this in, it's going 44 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,680 Margot Blouin: to explode, and you might not want that. So tell 45 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,800 Margot Blouin: us about your childhood. Where are you from, what's your 46 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:07,239 Margot Blouin: family like? Yeah, so I grew up in Grand Prairie, Alberta, 47 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,480 Margot Blouin: in Canada, which is pretty far north. Actually, I moved 48 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,920 Margot Blouin: to Seattle a little later in life, and I would 49 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,079 Margot Blouin: joke to satellites that Grand Prairie was closer to the 50 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,880 Margot Blouin: Arctic Circle than it was to Seattle. So I had 51 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:22,840 Margot Blouin: actually a really happy childhood despite it being pretty chilly 52 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:24,840 Margot Blouin: most of the time. You know, it's kind of funny. 53 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:28,360 Margot Blouin: When I came out eventually, my mother said to me, look, 54 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:33,840 Margot Blouin: you never really demonstrated being that girly as a child 55 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,000 Margot Blouin: or having very feminine interests. Where did this come from? 56 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,160 Margot Blouin: And I said, Mom, look in the mirror. My mother 57 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,880 Margot Blouin: grew up on a farm and all of her stories 58 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,960 Margot Blouin: from childhood involve farm animals and playing the dirt and 59 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,240 Margot Blouin: being outside and doing all of these quote unquote like 60 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,720 Margot Blouin: non feminine things. And I inherited a love for that. 61 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,240 Margot Blouin: So I would go out and I would play, and 62 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,400 Margot Blouin: I think the two things that really really came to 63 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:05,240 Margot Blouin: me when I was was music and building. I would always, 64 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,040 Margot Blouin: you know, create these fantastical drawings of things that I 65 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:08,840 Margot Blouin: could build and that. 66 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:09,320 Unknown: Sort of thing. 67 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,480 Margot Blouin: So I had actually a really really happy childhood like that. 68 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,840 Margot Blouin: So while my parents grew up on farms, my dad 69 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,840 Margot Blouin: went through a number of different careers. You know, he 70 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,320 Margot Blouin: became a carpenter, and then he was a car salesman, 71 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,320 Margot Blouin: and then he bought a business. And for a large 72 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,640 Margot Blouin: part of my childhood, the business played a massive part 73 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,839 Margot Blouin: because he was spending every single day working on that 74 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,320 Margot Blouin: business and I would barely see him, and he would 75 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,159 Margot Blouin: come home and he would pass out. And so, you know, 76 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:38,080 Margot Blouin: I started helping him out and working there, and I 77 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,960 Margot Blouin: think I got a lot of my work ethic from that. 78 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,520 Margot Blouin: But by the time I was ready to graduate from 79 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:47,039 Margot Blouin: high school, I needed out. I needed distance, and I 80 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,760 Margot Blouin: had known that there was parts of me that were 81 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,679 Margot Blouin: kind of waiting to develop, and I was so excited 82 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,520 Margot Blouin: to do that. So I made a feeline out of 83 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,720 Margot Blouin: town to the University of Alberta, which is where I 84 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,320 Margot Blouin: went tochool. I studied computer hardware engineering, and in my 85 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,960 Margot Blouin: second year, I actually got recruited by a recruiter at Microsoft, 86 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,000 Margot Blouin: and so I went down and I started spending my 87 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,960 Margot Blouin: summers in Seattle, and I would come back for the 88 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,320 Margot Blouin: school year and study, and it just became a race 89 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,400 Margot Blouin: to like, I want to get to Seattle. It's a 90 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,680 Margot Blouin: beautiful place. This career is so exciting, and I couldn't 91 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,560 Margot Blouin: finish fast enough. 92 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,920 Emily Tisch Sussman: Did you feel rooted there, like, did you find social 93 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,880 Emily Tisch Sussman: grounding there in any way or was it just like 94 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,839 Emily Tisch Sussman: drop in, drop out, get back to Seattle? 95 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:39,520 Margot Blouin: It was pretty much drop and drop out. I had 96 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,160 Margot Blouin: a great group of friends. I'd say that my little 97 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,240 Margot Blouin: group of engineers, we were pretty close knit. I met 98 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:50,320 Margot Blouin: my roommates through school, and I met my now husband 99 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,520 Margot Blouin: actually in university, and so I definitely had a group. 100 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,720 Margot Blouin: But I would say, like I fit really well with 101 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:02,440 Margot Blouin: these people that I had shared intros with and some commonality. 102 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,480 Margot Blouin: But I never really fit into the city. I never 103 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,560 Margot Blouin: really fit into the environment, the larger environment, right, But 104 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,080 Margot Blouin: I guess, you know, to put it another way, I 105 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,360 Margot Blouin: think in every environment, I have been able to find 106 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,599 Margot Blouin: people that I connect with, and it has largely been 107 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,600 Margot Blouin: queer people. For some reason, you know, and I didn't 108 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,599 Margot Blouin: really understand this myself, but for some reason, I'd always 109 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,200 Margot Blouin: fit in with queer people and felt so comfortable around them. 110 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,440 Margot Blouin: Were you identifying as queer at the time. It took 111 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,159 Margot Blouin: me a little while to get there. It took me 112 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,919 Margot Blouin: a little while to get there. I definitely showed up 113 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,880 Margot Blouin: to university thinking I was straight, really not thinking too 114 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,440 Margot Blouin: hard about some crushes that I had on some boys, 115 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:45,680 Margot Blouin: and that developed quickly in university. And the farther I 116 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:49,080 Margot Blouin: got from my roots, just the freeer I felt to 117 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,320 Margot Blouin: explore all of these things. And you know, for such 118 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:58,120 Margot Blouin: a long time, I stopped myself from investigating, from like 119 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,279 Margot Blouin: doing that like internal reflection, because it felt dangerous. When 120 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:07,360 Margot Blouin: I was a kid, actually my first memory of gender dysphoria, 121 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,880 Margot Blouin: I was five years old, and I was at my babysitters. 122 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,640 Margot Blouin: All the other kids had gone upstairs to play, and 123 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,760 Margot Blouin: I was sitting in the basement and I took a 124 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:21,360 Margot Blouin: quiet moment to myself And as I was sitting there reflecting, 125 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,680 Margot Blouin: I just I can't even say that I wanted to 126 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,120 Margot Blouin: be a woman. I just felt like a girl. And 127 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,960 Margot Blouin: as I sat there, just this feeling of peace flooded 128 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:38,040 Margot Blouin: through me and it just felt so happy. But at 129 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,760 Margot Blouin: the same time, one I didn't realize as a child 130 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,680 Margot Blouin: that you could be transgender, like I just as an idea. 131 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,720 Margot Blouin: I just didn't know. You know, in that community in 132 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,560 Margot Blouin: northern Alberta, there wasn't a lot of queer role models 133 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,280 Margot Blouin: that were visible to me. The extent of it was 134 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,120 Margot Blouin: often you know, if you look back at nineties television, 135 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,840 Margot Blouin: there's tons of shows that I love, but the man 136 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,360 Margot Blouin: in the dress quote unquote was often the butt of 137 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,800 Margot Blouin: the joke. And so I was able to establish from 138 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,080 Margot Blouin: a young age that that wasn't a good thing to be, 139 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,520 Margot Blouin: and so I avoided it. I avoided it at every 140 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,720 Margot Blouin: moment that that came up in my life. And I 141 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,240 Margot Blouin: guess being queer was kind of like that. 142 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: Do you remember where there was a moment if you 143 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:23,360 Emily Tisch Sussman: did identify a person or a role model or a 144 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:28,280 Emily Tisch Sussman: character and you're like, oh, wait, that's me. I think 145 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: they're saying what I feel. 146 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:34,520 Margot Blouin: There's a pretty famous show I'm in queer folks on 147 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:35,720 Margot Blouin: Netflix called Sense8. 148 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: It had a wildly diverse cast, fluid sexuality. 149 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,439 Unknown: It filmed all over the world. 150 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:46,200 Unknown: And cost millions to make and was just so good. 151 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,480 Unknown: But let's back up because some of you may not 152 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,320 Unknown: know the freaking, amazing magicalness that is sense sact and 153 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:52,400 Unknown: I'm sorry for you. 154 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:53,400 Margot Blouin: You should go watch. 155 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,920 Unknown: It because Sense8 is a show about connection. The series 156 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,480 Unknown: centers upon a group of eight strangers from around the globe. 157 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,120 Unknown: The Hacker, the German gangster Wolfgang, the melodramatic Mexican actor Leado, 158 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:06,240 Unknown: the Chicago cop will kick ass warrior Son, the inspiring 159 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,319 Unknown: bus driver Kafiis, the DJ Riley, and the devout Hindu 160 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,800 Unknown: dealing with the expectations of an arranged marriage. 161 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,760 Margot Blouin: One of the lead characters is a transgender woman and 162 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:19,160 Margot Blouin: actually we shared the same dead name, and what a trip. 163 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:23,440 Margot Blouin: What a trip, And watching that was so complicated for 164 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,360 Margot Blouin: me because I could connect and I could feel so 165 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,199 Margot Blouin: much about what she was feeling. This was all before 166 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:33,000 Margot Blouin: I transitioned, and like it wasn't just like I wasn't 167 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,360 Margot Blouin: just sitting there enjoying the story. I was connecting at 168 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,040 Margot Blouin: a deeper level. And it almost put me off the 169 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,679 Margot Blouin: show of just like, oh, something about this feels way 170 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,600 Margot Blouin: too deep to be just a show on TV. 171 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,640 Emily Tisch Sussman: Was that the first time that you considered that that 172 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,040 Emily Tisch Sussman: may be your future Journey. 173 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,760 Margot Blouin: Around that time. Yes, actually, so this was in my 174 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,880 Margot Blouin: mid twenties and I was living and working in Seattle 175 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:03,000 Margot Blouin: at Microsoft, and as I was starting to engage a 176 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,480 Margot Blouin: lot more with this type of queer media and this 177 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,600 Margot Blouin: show in particular, where you could see this transgender woman, 178 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:14,679 Margot Blouin: I would have these days and nights where I would 179 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:20,040 Margot Blouin: feel so lost in my body. And it felt like 180 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,959 Margot Blouin: over the years these moments and they were really dark, 181 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:28,000 Margot Blouin: and they were really difficult. They would get worse and 182 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,520 Margot Blouin: they kept getting worse. And I remember like weekends where 183 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:35,800 Margot Blouin: I would come home from work and just drop everything 184 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,120 Margot Blouin: and be like, oh my god, just existing in the 185 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:44,360 Margot Blouin: world hurts and it doesn't feel right and it's draining me. 186 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:50,800 Margot Blouin: And I didn't understand. And then I would almost guiltily 187 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,680 Margot Blouin: sit back and imagine a life where I was a woman, 188 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,920 Margot Blouin: and I would kind of fantasize just about like, man, 189 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,600 Margot Blouin: what if I could just live like that? That would 190 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,600 Margot Blouin: be so, you know, And I wasn't necessarily fantasizing about 191 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,800 Margot Blouin: the gender, but just life, if you know. I wanted 192 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,720 Margot Blouin: to just do regular things. I wanted to, you know, 193 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,480 Margot Blouin: go out and exist and be in the world and 194 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,960 Margot Blouin: be perceived like that. And it wasn't anything in particular, 195 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,880 Margot Blouin: but that brought me so much joy. And then I 196 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,439 Margot Blouin: would go and just tuck that away, and I'd show 197 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,199 Margot Blouin: up on Monday in a colored shirt and do my job, 198 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,880 Margot Blouin: and again trying really hard not to think about that, 199 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,600 Margot Blouin: because if there's one thing that's really really clear today 200 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,000 Margot Blouin: more than ever, that's a difficult thing to be and 201 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,920 Margot Blouin: that's a difficult route to go on. It was such 202 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,320 Margot Blouin: a safe space for me to imagine myself in a 203 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,560 Margot Blouin: world where this was me. I was already me, but 204 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:47,440 Margot Blouin: the path there was absolutely terrifying, and I knew it 205 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,160 Margot Blouin: was so hard, like I could. I did not have 206 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:55,160 Margot Blouin: the mental energy to even consider going that route. That 207 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:59,680 Margot Blouin: was too much, so I just put it aside. 208 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,800 Emily Tisch Sussman: Daydreaming about her life a woman. Life was going full 209 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,760 Emily Tisch Sussman: steam ahead for Margo, barely giving her a moment to 210 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,920 Emily Tisch Sussman: address her deeper feelings about her gender. She had a 211 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,959 Emily Tisch Sussman: dream job in the booming tech industry and got married 212 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,199 Emily Tisch Sussman: to her college sweetheart. 213 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:16,400 Margot Blouin: We got married in twenty sixteen, so that was the 214 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:21,000 Margot Blouin: year that we graduated, and we got married actually on 215 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,720 Margot Blouin: paper because he needed that to have a spousal visa 216 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,280 Margot Blouin: so that he could visit me and be with me 217 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,800 Margot Blouin: when he came to the US, and so that was 218 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,920 Margot Blouin: a big reason for why we married at that specific moment. 219 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,680 Margot Blouin: We didn't have a ceremony. It was just kind of 220 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,560 Margot Blouin: a quaint little thing with a couple of friends and 221 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,120 Margot Blouin: family and a minister. 222 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,360 Emily Tisch Sussman: Did it feel almost logistical or was it? 223 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:45,880 Emily Tisch Sussman: Or were you like, we know that we're going to 224 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,800 Emily Tisch Sussman: be together forevers, we might as well just make it official. 225 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,640 Margot Blouin: The moment felt logistical. But I had proposed to him 226 00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,640 Margot Blouin: about nine months before. At this point, we've been together 227 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,480 Margot Blouin: for five years. I knew that he was my person 228 00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,800 Margot Blouin: and I wanted to spend my life with him, and 229 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,240 Margot Blouin: you know, I proposed to him. Oh my god, it's 230 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,439 Margot Blouin: so terrible that I proposed at the university in kind 231 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,440 Margot Blouin: of like one of our favorite like fields and like 232 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,360 Margot Blouin: green areas. And then I forgot to tell him to 233 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,720 Margot Blouin: take his backpack off because I was so excited about 234 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,559 Margot Blouin: proposing to him. And so I had a friend kind 235 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,400 Margot Blouin: of like in the bushes, like taking pictures, and we're 236 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,040 Margot Blouin: there with our backpack looking nerdy, but we had much 237 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,120 Margot Blouin: nicer pictures taken. 238 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:29,120 Emily Tisch Sussman: Like So, did you have a long distance relationship when 239 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,920 Emily Tisch Sussman: you were going back and forth to Microsoft? 240 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,800 Margot Blouin: Yes, and that was so difficult even when I when 241 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,600 Margot Blouin: I started working full time and they moved me to 242 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,120 Margot Blouin: see how the visa that I was on would not 243 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,920 Margot Blouin: allow my spouse to work. And my husband's actually a 244 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:47,080 Margot Blouin: mining engineer, so he works in any kind of mine 245 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,280 Margot Blouin: and he's since specialized in water resource management and land 246 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,520 Margot Blouin: reclamation and that sort of stuff. But it meant that 247 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:56,480 Margot Blouin: he had to work at a mine, and surprisingly there's 248 00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,320 Margot Blouin: really none in Washington, or there's not very many, And 249 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,199 Margot Blouin: there's a vast difference in the types of minds between 250 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,880 Margot Blouin: the US and Canada, largely because of like population centers. 251 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,640 Margot Blouin: So that meant that he wasn't allowed to work in 252 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,040 Margot Blouin: the US, and so he had to live in Canada 253 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,439 Margot Blouin: and come down and visit me. So for a long time, 254 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,200 Margot Blouin: about five or six years, we were a voute. 255 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:22,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: What were you thinking would be your future professionally and 256 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,680 Emily Tisch Sussman: your future with your spouse, Like, did you guys think 257 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:26,960 Emily Tisch Sussman: that you would be able to end up in the 258 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: same country. Were you making professional decisions try to make 259 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:30,800 Emily Tisch Sussman: that happen. 260 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,080 Margot Blouin: It's a good question. We wanted to find a way 261 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:37,760 Margot Blouin: to end up in the same place. And he was 262 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,120 Margot Blouin: a mining engineer, and he thought that perhaps he could 263 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,040 Margot Blouin: come to Seattle and study and get a master's degree 264 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:47,760 Margot Blouin: in water management or utilities or something like that, because Seattle, 265 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,480 Margot Blouin: of course has a lot of water, and so we 266 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,920 Margot Blouin: thought that that could be a good path. But you 267 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,280 Margot Blouin: asked the question. The reason that I paused is yes, 268 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,560 Margot Blouin: did I think about the future, And the answer was 269 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:05,080 Margot Blouin: really no. Spent that whole time being so myopic, focused 270 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,080 Margot Blouin: on what is the next thing. I don't care about 271 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,400 Margot Blouin: the big picture, what's the next thing? And part of 272 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,280 Margot Blouin: that was I couldn't imagine myself five years down the road. 273 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,040 Margot Blouin: I couldn't imagine myself ten years down the road because 274 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:21,200 Margot Blouin: I didn't want to. That wasn't exciting, that wasn't interesting, 275 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,560 Margot Blouin: And so much of that I see now looking back, 276 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,640 Margot Blouin: was really tied. 277 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:30,560 Emily Tisch Sussman: In my identity, stuck in the present. Margot didn't take 278 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: the time to truly think about her identity. She kept 279 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:38,720 Emily Tisch Sussman: pushing her needs deeper and deeper, and eventually her body rebelled, 280 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,960 Emily Tisch Sussman: telling her loud and clear what her mind would not 281 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:42,440 Emily Tisch Sussman: let her. 282 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,880 Margot Blouin: I had an amazing career. I got to move around 283 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,880 Margot Blouin: and I got to do so many different things. I 284 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:55,120 Margot Blouin: worked on Xbox, and I was thriving, was there wasn't 285 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,880 Margot Blouin: a year that I didn't get promoted. We acquired a 286 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:02,000 Margot Blouin: startup and started building a live streaming platform within the 287 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,600 Margot Blouin: gaming organization, and that was a wild ride. And then 288 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,400 Margot Blouin: when that culminated, I went off and said, Hey, I'm 289 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,000 Margot Blouin: going to do something completely different, and I went and 290 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:15,040 Margot Blouin: worked on quantum computers and I founded the Quantum Computing team, 291 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:19,240 Margot Blouin: bringing quantm computers to the cloud at Microsoft and letting 292 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,240 Margot Blouin: access to the world's first quantum computers through the Usher 293 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,880 Margot Blouin: cloud and building that team, and that was such a 294 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,000 Margot Blouin: tremendous change because I had no background in that talk 295 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:33,640 Margot Blouin: about imposter syndrome, but it was phenomenal. And all of 296 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,040 Margot Blouin: this was contrasted with my personal life right because I 297 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,720 Margot Blouin: would go and I would go to work, and I 298 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,120 Margot Blouin: would put all of my energy in and I would 299 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,080 Margot Blouin: come home and I would feel trained. And what I 300 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,920 Margot Blouin: didn't understand at the time was that I felt drained, 301 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,040 Margot Blouin: not just because I was putting a lot of effort, 302 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,880 Margot Blouin: but because of how I was having to show up 303 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:55,120 Margot Blouin: in the world. And so it was just such a 304 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,320 Margot Blouin: contrast in my life of like light and dark. 305 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,080 Emily Tisch Sussman: Margo's true I didity was banging at the door asking 306 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: to be let in When we come back, she talks 307 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:19,920 Emily Tisch Sussman: through what eventually led her decision to officially transition. During COVID, 308 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,760 Emily Tisch Sussman: Margo and her husband moved to Montreal, a place for 309 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,200 Emily Tisch Sussman: them to build a life in a queer friendly city. 310 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: But Margo's body continued to hold onto the negative feelings 311 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,040 Emily Tisch Sussman: and she was getting sicker and sicker, to the point 312 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,040 Emily Tisch Sussman: where she knew she had to confront her gender dysphoria. 313 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:36,879 Margot Blouin: So we moved. 314 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,560 Margot Blouin: We left Seattle in August of twenty twenty. We moved 315 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,240 Margot Blouin: during the middle of the pandemic, during shutdown borders. It 316 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,640 Margot Blouin: was a wild experience. We got here. We had bought 317 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,560 Margot Blouin: an old one hundred and ten year old house and 318 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,199 Margot Blouin: we spent the next year renovating at I had a 319 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:56,480 Margot Blouin: career change. I went from Microsoft to Strike and then 320 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,840 Margot Blouin: I had this period of about a month in twenty 321 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:04,919 Margot Blouin: two twenty two and I was not doing well. I 322 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,399 Margot Blouin: had thrown my back out working out. I then got 323 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,879 Margot Blouin: a gum infection as I was healing from my back, 324 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,080 Margot Blouin: and then I got straped throat, and then that turned 325 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:19,320 Margot Blouin: into scarlet fever, and long story short, I spent a 326 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:24,240 Margot Blouin: month in so much pain, just hiding in our basement, 327 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:29,240 Margot Blouin: just really unhappy. And at this point, my gender dysphoria 328 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,199 Margot Blouin: was really getting to me. I couldn't look in the mirror, 329 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,200 Margot Blouin: I couldn't think about myself. I didn't want to come out. 330 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,119 Margot Blouin: I was horribly unhappy at my job. I ended up 331 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,159 Margot Blouin: being a really bad fit for that company. And I 332 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,760 Margot Blouin: was sitting there in the dark and I said, you 333 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,240 Margot Blouin: know what, I don't know what this part of me 334 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:50,400 Margot Blouin: that wants to explore more feminine side is, but I'm 335 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,520 Margot Blouin: not ignoring it anymore. 336 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,000 Margot Blouin: I need to change that. 337 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,439 Margot Blouin: And I came out of that and I said, Okay, 338 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,640 Margot Blouin: I'm going to allow myself to think about this thing 339 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,040 Margot Blouin: scares me because it feels like I have to do 340 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:05,600 Margot Blouin: this because I don't think I can survive if I 341 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:10,400 Margot Blouin: don't do this. And so I got a therapist and 342 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:15,240 Margot Blouin: I started exploring this and every time she would guide 343 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:20,760 Margot Blouin: me through visualization exercises and thinking and experimenting with you know, 344 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:25,480 Margot Blouin: different ways of dressing or playing with makeup or whatever, 345 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,320 Margot Blouin: and every time I would have this moment of clee 346 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,760 Margot Blouin: and of joy and of happiness, connecting with my body 347 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,240 Margot Blouin: in a way that I never had before. And then 348 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,080 Margot Blouin: it just felt like the light like the lights would 349 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:42,720 Margot Blouin: turn off and I would look in the mirror and 350 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,960 Margot Blouin: I would see a man staring back and it was 351 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,280 Margot Blouin: like the glass shattering. It just was so difficult, and 352 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,800 Margot Blouin: so I would have these moments of like elation, exploring 353 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,480 Margot Blouin: this sound inside of me, and I would come back 354 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,480 Margot Blouin: to being a man, and it would just destroy me 355 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,880 Margot Blouin: because I want to desperately for there to be another way. 356 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,960 Margot Blouin: Perhaps I could just be a little bit more flamboyantly gay, 357 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:07,520 Margot Blouin: a little bit more feminine in how I wear myself 358 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,520 Margot Blouin: in the world. But that wasn't the right answer for me. 359 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,159 Emily Tisch Sussman: Was there something in particular that you were afraid of? 360 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:19,840 Emily Tisch Sussman: Or was everything everything? It's a mountain, it's social rejection. 361 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,000 Emily Tisch Sussman: It's knowing that you were going to lose people in 362 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,000 Emily Tisch Sussman: your life. You are going to lose family, and you 363 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:28,600 Emily Tisch Sussman: are going to lose friends. Transgender people have been a 364 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:32,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: conversation a little surprising to me. I can't say I 365 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:36,200 Emily Tisch Sussman: get it, but we've been a conversation for a long time, 366 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,800 Emily Tisch Sussman: and I didn't want to be part of that conversation. 367 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:43,800 Emily Tisch Sussman: As a transgender person. I was so comfortable advocating for 368 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,399 Emily Tisch Sussman: and being close to, but actually being transgender was and 369 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:52,119 Emily Tisch Sussman: is a difficult thing to be, and it meant giving 370 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: up parts of my life that I liked. It meant 371 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: giving up, you know, going through world as a man, 372 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:01,560 Emily Tisch Sussman: which is a nice easy thing to do. Comparatively, you're 373 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:04,760 Emily Tisch Sussman: allowed to show up in a completely different way. A 374 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,719 Emily Tisch Sussman: huge part of this show is interweaving the personal and 375 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: the professional, and that could be more true for Margo. 376 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,439 Emily Tisch Sussman: While she was coming to terms with her identity, she 377 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:19,040 Emily Tisch Sussman: also decided to start her own company. 378 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,760 Margot Blouin: So I founded my company about So I had that 379 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,840 Margot Blouin: really difficult moment back in August of twenty twenty two, 380 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,760 Margot Blouin: and I founded my company in March of twenty twenty three. 381 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,720 Margot Blouin: So this was actually kind of like early as I 382 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:35,560 Margot Blouin: was exploring my own gender transition. But I also knew 383 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,800 Margot Blouin: that I needed to do something that meant something to me. 384 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,919 Margot Blouin: I needed to have an impact in the world that 385 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,920 Margot Blouin: it didn't feel like I was having in my day job. 386 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:47,080 Margot Blouin: And I had actually been a researching the topic of 387 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,719 Margot Blouin: my company, how we can help electrical engineers build circuit boards. 388 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,040 Margot Blouin: I've been researching that privately in my own time and 389 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,200 Margot Blouin: thinking about new techniques to do it at ways to 390 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,040 Margot Blouin: solve some of the problems that they faced. And so 391 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,280 Margot Blouin: I finally decided, Okay, this is the moment I'm going 392 00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:06,480 Margot Blouin: to do it. I'm absolutely unhappy in my life. There's 393 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,879 Margot Blouin: so many things and I'm changing that. So I decided 394 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,240 Margot Blouin: to found it. And I was a solo founder. I 395 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,879 Margot Blouin: was completely alone, just building off of what I had 396 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,520 Margot Blouin: learned and what I had researched. And so my husband 397 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,240 Margot Blouin: was doing a master's at the time at McGill. We 398 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,159 Margot Blouin: didn't have any money coming in. So I went and 399 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,760 Margot Blouin: applied to a government program that gave a grant to 400 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:29,600 Margot Blouin: start a small business, and I thought, you know, some 401 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,600 Margot Blouin: minimum wage pay through that to support us. And I 402 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:36,879 Margot Blouin: started looking at what we could do by combining, you know, 403 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,439 Margot Blouin: some of these new circuit analysis techniques that I built 404 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:42,640 Margot Blouin: with AI and everything that was happening, And of course 405 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:46,200 Margot Blouin: we've all heard about CHATGBT and stuff like that, and 406 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,919 Margot Blouin: I realized that if I put these two things together 407 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,320 Margot Blouin: and they met in the middle, we can build some 408 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:55,320 Margot Blouin: really incredible things and really help electrical engineers be orders 409 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,639 Margot Blouin: of magnitude more productive than they could be otherwise. And 410 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,320 Margot Blouin: so I saw, okay, well I needed to do that. 411 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,200 Margot Blouin: But I'm not a researcher. I don't really know AI 412 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,280 Margot Blouin: have built some products with it at Microsoft, and so 413 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,639 Margot Blouin: I needed to bolster that part of the company. I 414 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:15,760 Margot Blouin: applied to an incubator in Seattle founded by Paul Allen, 415 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,520 Margot Blouin: one of the founders of Microsoft, and it's called the 416 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,800 Margot Blouin: Allen Institute for AI, and I sought them out because 417 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:25,680 Margot Blouin: I needed a partner that was strong in AI, and 418 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,680 Margot Blouin: over the summer we negotiated the agreement. They had never 419 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,280 Margot Blouin: worked with the Canadian company before, so they loved the idea, 420 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,119 Margot Blouin: they loved what I was doing, they loved my background, 421 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,800 Margot Blouin: and we just had to work through a lot of 422 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,639 Margot Blouin: those details. And as it turns out, I took my 423 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,879 Margot Blouin: first pill of estrogen on my first official day in 424 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:50,880 Margot Blouin: the incubator and it just felt like this moment of okay, 425 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,399 Margot Blouin: life has changed. And that was just a year after 426 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,719 Margot Blouin: I was locked in my basement for a month in 427 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,240 Margot Blouin: pain and so unhappy. As just this incredible moment of like, wow, 428 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,480 Margot Blouin: look at where I am. Yeah. 429 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,840 Emily Tisch Sussman: Oh, I got chills thinking about that day for you're like, 430 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,680 Emily Tisch Sussman: this is it day one? Like it all starts today? Really, 431 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,239 Emily Tisch Sussman: it was day one in so many ways, and it 432 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,840 Emily Tisch Sussman: also wasn't because nobody in the world knew, aside from 433 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,600 Emily Tisch Sussman: my husband and a few close friends. 434 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,680 Margot Blouin: Nobody in the world knew I was transitioning. I guess 435 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,800 Margot Blouin: everybody in the world knew about my business, but nobody 436 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,920 Margot Blouin: knew I was transitioning. And so everybody was like, hey, 437 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,840 Margot Blouin: was that an exciting day? And I was like, you 438 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,160 Margot Blouin: don't even know the half of it. 439 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:39,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: Exciting, but things were still complicated for Margo. She was 440 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:42,280 Emily Tisch Sussman: trying to build a company and get funding, and not 441 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:46,080 Emily Tisch Sussman: just any company, a company at the intersection of AI 442 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:50,120 Emily Tisch Sussman: tech and electronics, not a place where you can find 443 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:54,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: a plethora of queer people. After the break, Margo talks 444 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,880 Emily Tisch Sussman: about how her transition both helped and hindered her while 445 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:10,440 Emily Tisch Sussman: building cadstrom In the early days of CADSTRM, Margo conducted 446 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:14,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: customer discovery exercises, a typical phase for any new company 447 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,479 Emily Tisch Sussman: to figure out product market fit. It was during this 448 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,840 Emily Tisch Sussman: phase when Margo met a man named Scott, a previous 449 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: founder who was exactly the right client for a company 450 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,359 Emily Tisch Sussman: like Cadstrum. After a few meetings, it was clear that 451 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: he could be the perfect co founder. 452 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,760 Margot Blouin: A couple months later, I flew down to Seattle for 453 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:37,080 Margot Blouin: the first time to meet him in person, and we agreed, Yeah, 454 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:38,679 Margot Blouin: we're going to do this. But it was such a 455 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:43,440 Margot Blouin: scary trip, actually that trip, because that was I guess 456 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,359 Margot Blouin: three four months into taking hormones, and so I was 457 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,560 Margot Blouin: well on my way. My body had started changing. I 458 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,360 Margot Blouin: could not wear a lot of my old men's shirts 459 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:59,800 Margot Blouin: without some things really not looking right. And I was thinking, like, 460 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,280 Margot Blouin: do I tell him? And I was terrified. I was 461 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,800 Margot Blouin: anxious about coming out to the world and I wasn't ready, 462 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,159 Margot Blouin: and I had this picture in my head of just 463 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,520 Margot Blouin: complete and utter failure. I was terrified of coming out 464 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,040 Margot Blouin: to the world because I was picturing that half the 465 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,160 Margot Blouin: people weren't going to accept me because I was transgender 466 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:22,240 Margot Blouin: and they didn't like that, or they weren't certain about that. 467 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,879 Margot Blouin: Why would you invest in a company with a transgender founder. 468 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,080 Margot Blouin: That's such a big question mark. And then I was 469 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,159 Margot Blouin: worred the other half wouldn't take me seriously because I 470 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:35,520 Margot Blouin: was a woman, and between the two, I was paralyzed. 471 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,280 Margot Blouin: I couldn't do it, and so I decided not to. 472 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,480 Margot Blouin: So I bought a binder and I wore that every 473 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,040 Margot Blouin: day working at the incubator because I just wasn't ready 474 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,000 Margot Blouin: to tell the world. I wasn't ready to tell Scott 475 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,800 Margot Blouin: and you know what, I know now that things would 476 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,160 Margot Blouin: have turned out different, but I'm thankful that I didn't. 477 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,280 Margot Blouin: I've learned to trust my gut and do things when 478 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,679 Margot Blouin: I'm genuinely ready to do that. And you know, it 479 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,720 Margot Blouin: was interesting because so we ended up pitching in March. 480 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,600 Margot Blouin: We started pitching in March, and so you know, if 481 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,439 Margot Blouin: you've never pitched before, you're going and you're doing meeting 482 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:12,080 Margot Blouin: after meeting after meeting, and I think we pitched seventy 483 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,720 Margot Blouin: times to different firms over the course of the next 484 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:20,520 Margot Blouin: four to six weeks, and two weeks in on March fourteenth, 485 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:25,000 Margot Blouin: twenty twenty four, I had a gender affirming surgery. I 486 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,159 Margot Blouin: had my atoms apple taken out because every time I 487 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:30,960 Margot Blouin: looked in the mirror I hated what I saw. I 488 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,000 Margot Blouin: wanted to crawl out of my skin, and so I 489 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:38,080 Margot Blouin: somehow needed to navigate. Okay, I've had my atoms apple 490 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:42,000 Margot Blouin: taken out. I'm having these meetings with investors. My co 491 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,359 Margot Blouin: founder sees me going through this. Hey, I have to 492 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:46,119 Margot Blouin: take some time off for surgery, but no, I'm not 493 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,720 Margot Blouin: going to tell you what it's for. And so you know, 494 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,480 Margot Blouin: like this whole time it was went through. But the 495 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,240 Margot Blouin: logic the thinking was one I was worried about what 496 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,600 Margot Blouin: would happen if I was trying to navigate this as 497 00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:00,679 Margot Blouin: a trans woman openly. But I was also worried about 498 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,920 Margot Blouin: the other flip side of that of perhaps you're accepting, 499 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:09,480 Margot Blouin: but if you look at a transperson going through this journey, 500 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,120 Margot Blouin: you might say to yourself, as an investor, that's such 501 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,520 Margot Blouin: a question mark. I'm worried that they're not going to 502 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,720 Margot Blouin: be focused on the business because they're so focused on themselves. 503 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,800 Margot Blouin: And so my whole strategy was to come out pretty 504 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,159 Margot Blouin: much when I was very far into my transition, and 505 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,280 Margot Blouin: I could say, you don't need to worry about my 506 00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:32,800 Margot Blouin: focus because our entire relationship has been me transitioning. You 507 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,320 Margot Blouin: have seen me going through it, you just didn't know it. 508 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,760 Margot Blouin: And I am more here and I am more present 509 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,560 Margot Blouin: than I have ever been and being able to say 510 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:43,240 Margot Blouin: that with confidence, and so that was a big part 511 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,560 Margot Blouin: of that. And by the way, I think that that 512 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:51,720 Margot Blouin: opinion is completely wrong because it discounts the experience of 513 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:56,680 Margot Blouin: every entrepreneur, not just my story, but everyone. Every single 514 00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:02,960 Margot Blouin: entrepreneur exists in any social content. You have dates, or 515 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:07,680 Margot Blouin: you have parents, you have children. So many entrepreneurs I 516 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,840 Margot Blouin: know have gone through big life experiences while they're founding 517 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:17,000 Margot Blouin: their companies. Life doesn't stop because you are starting a company. 518 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,920 Margot Blouin: In some ways, it feels like it intensifies. And so 519 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,640 Margot Blouin: you got to see the world can see my personal 520 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:29,800 Margot Blouin: and social struggle. But I don't think that my experience 521 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,640 Margot Blouin: is so unique when you remember that everybody has a 522 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,840 Margot Blouin: personal life that they're dealing with and stuff that they're 523 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:36,360 Margot Blouin: dealing with. 524 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,600 Emily Tisch Sussman: So then at what point did you come out to 525 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,120 Emily Tisch Sussman: Scott and what was that conversation. 526 00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,160 Margot Blouin: So a few weeks after that surgery, we got a 527 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,960 Margot Blouin: term sheet, which is really exciting because you get this 528 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,000 Margot Blouin: offer to invest in your company. It's millions of dollars, 529 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,120 Margot Blouin: more money than I've ever handled, and you have to 530 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,800 Margot Blouin: say yes pretty quickly because they go away. And so 531 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,880 Margot Blouin: we accepted, and we spend a couple of weeks negotiating, 532 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,480 Margot Blouin: and I flew to Seattle to have dinner with the 533 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:07,960 Margot Blouin: investor and meet the investors, and Scott lives in Seattle, 534 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,240 Margot Blouin: so we went for dinner with Tom from Bison Ventures, 535 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,600 Margot Blouin: who was our lead investor, and we had this great 536 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,040 Margot Blouin: dinner and then afterwards we separated and Scott and I 537 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,960 Margot Blouin: went our own ways and we took a walk around 538 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,960 Margot Blouin: the neighborhood and it was this beautiful, nice night, and 539 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,120 Margot Blouin: we had this moment of I can't believe we met 540 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,239 Margot Blouin: like eight months ago, and here we are. We just 541 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,520 Margot Blouin: raised millions of dollars for this company. What a wild ride. 542 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:41,520 Margot Blouin: And I felt so safe and strong, and I'd gotten 543 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,920 Margot Blouin: to know him deeply and he's such a caring person. 544 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,640 Margot Blouin: And I said, Scott, I have something I need to 545 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:52,480 Margot Blouin: tell you. And I told him. I blurted it out, 546 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:58,040 Margot Blouin: and he was He was surprised, and not surprised. He's 547 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,760 Margot Blouin: a very perceptive person. He'd seen lot about me changing. 548 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:07,000 Margot Blouin: He had obviously noticed me going for surgery, and he 549 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:12,240 Margot Blouin: immediately accepted me and supported me. And the best thing 550 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:16,120 Margot Blouin: was actually so we ended the conversation pretty quickly. After that, 551 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:19,360 Margot Blouin: he went home, he talked to his wife, who'd already met. 552 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,360 Margot Blouin: Came in the next morning and he said, by the way, 553 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,520 Margot Blouin: I told Margaret, his wife. I told Margaret, and her 554 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,640 Margot Blouin: first response was well, yeah, which was just amazing. It 555 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,520 Margot Blouin: was like the people that love you come out with 556 00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:36,760 Margot Blouin: such a fantastic response, or come back to you with 557 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,080 Margot Blouin: such a fantastic response, and He's been nothing about supportive 558 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,520 Margot Blouin: and encouraging. He supported and encouraged me through coming out 559 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,480 Margot Blouin: to investors, through coming out to the world, and he 560 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,800 Margot Blouin: has been an ally for me in so many different ways. 561 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:52,800 Margot Blouin: And I'm just incredibly thankful. 562 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: And what was that conversation that you had with your husband, 563 00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,800 Emily Tisch Sussman: with your family and at what point? 564 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,240 Margot Blouin: So the conversation with my husband took a long time. 565 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,040 Margot Blouin: It took a long time. My journey, and there's other 566 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,480 Margot Blouin: people that have gone through this. My journey was I 567 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:14,040 Margot Blouin: had started questioning my gender, and I started questioning what 568 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,360 Margot Blouin: does my gender mean? And there's you know, new gender 569 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:21,200 Margot Blouin: identities beyond the binary, and I started thinking, okay, well 570 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:25,200 Margot Blouin: maybe I'm not binary, maybe I am somewhere in between 571 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,240 Margot Blouin: men and women. And you know, this was kind of 572 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,920 Margot Blouin: a way of just making the idea of a full transition, 573 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:34,920 Margot Blouin: which was terrifying a little bit more approachable, but also 574 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,160 Margot Blouin: kind of a way of like testing the waters with 575 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,160 Margot Blouin: my husband of like what if I dress a little 576 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,040 Margot Blouin: bit differently sometimes, what if I look a little bit differently, 577 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:46,040 Margot Blouin: What if I changed my name and it was you know, 578 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,760 Margot Blouin: I won't pretty up. It was really difficult because he 579 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:55,440 Margot Blouin: was in so many ways losing his partner, and he 580 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:59,640 Margot Blouin: was grieving that loss and he had to go through 581 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,760 Margot Blouin: and you know, we both did a ton of therapy 582 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,800 Margot Blouin: trying to figure out what does this mean for him? 583 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:09,400 Margot Blouin: Because he's gay, he likes man, and I wasn't going 584 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:13,520 Margot Blouin: to be that anymore. And ultimately we settled on he's 585 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:17,560 Margot Blouin: my person, I'm his, and you know, we're still working 586 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,720 Margot Blouin: through it to this day, but we've made it work. 587 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,720 Margot Blouin: We started that conversation a couple of years before I 588 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,480 Margot Blouin: ever brought it up with my family. 589 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,640 Emily Tisch Sussman: What was that conversation with your family? Were they surprised 590 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,120 Emily Tisch Sussman: or they could see a difference already and had some idea. 591 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:37,400 Emily Tisch Sussman: It's such a slow, subtle process that most people that 592 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,960 Emily Tisch Sussman: know you will never pick up on the difference, because 593 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:44,320 Emily Tisch Sussman: it's like, especially somebody that you see frequently. It's such 594 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:48,600 Emily Tisch Sussman: a slow, gradual change. And then I told them, and 595 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:52,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: they were so surprised. I'd been terrified of telling them 596 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: for so long. I didn't know what it meant. 597 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,400 Margot Blouin: My parents are lovely and caring, but they're older, they're 598 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,680 Margot Blouin: from another generation, and I didn't know what this meant. 599 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,040 Margot Blouin: And I was scared of losing them, and so I 600 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,200 Margot Blouin: told them and I called them late one night. I'd 601 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,600 Margot Blouin: been out for a walk with the dog thinking about this, 602 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,640 Margot Blouin: and I'd had this breakthrough moment where I realized, you 603 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,759 Margot Blouin: know what, I know that my dad's going to have 604 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,560 Margot Blouin: so much trouble accepting this. And it took me the 605 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,319 Margot Blouin: longest time to figure out that that's because he's going 606 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,319 Margot Blouin: to be worried about me. That's because he sees what's 607 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,800 Margot Blouin: happening in the world, and he's gonna just not want 608 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,080 Margot Blouin: his child to be in danger, his child to be 609 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:37,080 Margot Blouin: going through something difficult. And as soon as I realized 610 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:38,839 Margot Blouin: that's the problem that he's going to have with it, 611 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,000 Margot Blouin: I was ready and I had to tell him. So 612 00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,160 Margot Blouin: I got home and I called him, and I didn't 613 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,720 Margot Blouin: have a plan. I just blurted it out. I said, Mom, Dad, 614 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:50,880 Margot Blouin: I'm transgender. I identify as a woman. And it was 615 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,359 Margot Blouin: actually pretty short conversation. They were shell shocked. And then 616 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,920 Margot Blouin: the next day my mom called me and said, so 617 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,600 Margot Blouin: that call that you gave us last night, we have 618 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:03,799 Margot Blouin: some questions. And we spent a period of time just 619 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,959 Margot Blouin: kind of spending so much time talking and going through 620 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,040 Margot Blouin: this and sharing, and I told them about all of 621 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,479 Margot Blouin: these experiences throughout my life from the age of five 622 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,000 Margot Blouin: all the way to where I am now, of feeling 623 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,360 Margot Blouin: so strongly than the oaths of meat and then pushing 624 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,920 Margot Blouin: it back because I was scared of that. And today 625 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,719 Margot Blouin: I am so thankful because they accept me and they 626 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:30,160 Margot Blouin: care for me, and it has been so difficult. It 627 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,880 Margot Blouin: was so difficult for them, and they said, we cannot 628 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:38,440 Margot Blouin: imagine losing a child, choosing to lose a child over this, 629 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:40,839 Margot Blouin: and so they put in the work so that they 630 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:46,600 Margot Blouin: didn't have to. Do you think that they've clearly gone 631 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,279 Margot Blouin: through their own journey? Like do you think that I'm 632 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,239 Margot Blouin: going to presume that if they live in a place 633 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:55,000 Margot Blouin: that is very world but it's less accepting. Yeah, do 634 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,000 Margot Blouin: you think that have they gone through their own journey 635 00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:58,680 Margot Blouin: of acceptance? 636 00:35:58,719 --> 00:35:59,839 Emily Tisch Sussman: Like what has that been for them? 637 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,920 Margot Blouin: They've definitely gone through their own journey of acceptance. They 638 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,600 Margot Blouin: live in Grand Prairie, which is I think about sixty 639 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,239 Margot Blouin: thousand people. Now. The rest of my extended family is 640 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,440 Margot Blouin: a lot of farmers. At is a lot of rural people. 641 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:17,279 Margot Blouin: It's more conservative and they're very religious, and so I 642 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,359 Margot Blouin: know that they've had to confront this from you know, 643 00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:24,040 Margot Blouin: like a political conservative perspective, but also a religious perspective 644 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,919 Margot Blouin: and understand what it meant for them to still love 645 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,400 Margot Blouin: and care for their child despite really having to do 646 00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:33,200 Margot Blouin: a ton of learning. And you know, my dad's in 647 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:38,400 Margot Blouin: his late seventies and so he has gone through so 648 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:43,840 Margot Blouin: many cultural shifts. This wasn't easy for him either, but 649 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,080 Margot Blouin: he did it. And I'm so thankful because I get 650 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:51,320 Margot Blouin: to see them and I have had a better relationship 651 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:54,640 Margot Blouin: than I have ever had with my parents because for 652 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,680 Margot Blouin: the first time, it feels like we're actually talking and 653 00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,640 Margot Blouin: I can actually tell them. You know, for a good 654 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,919 Margot Blouin: eight years, so if you asked me how I was doing, 655 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,279 Margot Blouin: you were not getting a real answer. Now I can 656 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:08,080 Margot Blouin: tell them here's how I'm doing. I think that's so 657 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:13,520 Margot Blouin: beautiful that you have empathy for them. Of course, that 658 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:16,320 Margot Blouin: it can just there can be a learning curve. I 659 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,760 Margot Blouin: think that that's been something that's kind of been missing 660 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,160 Margot Blouin: in a lot of this conversation, like it's okay, they 661 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:25,440 Margot Blouin: don't get it, like it wasn't discussed. They have to adjust, 662 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,280 Margot Blouin: And they were worried for you. They were so worried 663 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,040 Margot Blouin: for me, and rightly so. Look at the world that 664 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,000 Margot Blouin: we live in. It is not a good thing to 665 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:38,760 Margot Blouin: be a transgender woman, it's such a difficult path and 666 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,239 Margot Blouin: for them, they're like, why are you choosing this? And 667 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,480 Margot Blouin: I was like, well, as hard as this is, it's 668 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:47,600 Margot Blouin: better than the alternative for me. And people don't need 669 00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:52,120 Margot Blouin: to be perfect immediately. They have their own girlth journey. 670 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,920 Margot Blouin: It took me years. It took me thirty two years 671 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,520 Margot Blouin: to accept my own identity. I could give them some 672 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,640 Margot Blouin: time too, and we did. And if you've been really 673 00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,279 Margot Blouin: close with the transgender person has come out, especially a 674 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,840 Margot Blouin: little bit later in life, but at any stage, I 675 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,240 Margot Blouin: think it's very common to go through a period where 676 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,759 Margot Blouin: you are crieving the loss of somebody you had, and 677 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,680 Margot Blouin: that I think can be genuinely said, but it's offset 678 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,520 Margot Blouin: because you're going to see this person develop and grow 679 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,560 Margot Blouin: and shine, And we said they never have before. And 680 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,120 Margot Blouin: when they look at what I'm doing now, starting my 681 00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:31,560 Margot Blouin: company and being successful and being out and advocating for 682 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,640 Margot Blouin: my community and doing all of these things, they're so 683 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,799 Margot Blouin: proud of me. And I'm just happy to be able 684 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:38,680 Margot Blouin: to share that with them. 685 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,239 Emily Tisch Sussman: You've said that you don't think you would be as 686 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:47,799 Emily Tisch Sussman: professionally successful right now had you not come out. Can 687 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:48,759 Emily Tisch Sussman: you tell us more about that? 688 00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,440 Margot Blouin: I think that before I came out, I wasn't very 689 00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,520 Margot Blouin: effective at connecting with people, and I told myself all 690 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,359 Margot Blouin: kinds of stories. I said, Oh, you're an intropurt, Oh 691 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,320 Margot Blouin: you're really focused on things, just not as great with people. 692 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:06,160 Margot Blouin: And looking back, I'm amazed that I connected with anybody 693 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:09,960 Margot Blouin: at all, because I wasn't connected with myself. I was 694 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,399 Margot Blouin: anything that was a difficult emotion for me, I would 695 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,880 Margot Blouin: just push it away, not focus on it, because so 696 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,840 Margot Blouin: many of the things related to my identity were difficult 697 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:23,040 Margot Blouin: to process. So I didn't. And then I spent a 698 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:27,960 Margot Blouin: couple of years doing very intense therapy and really working 699 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:32,320 Margot Blouin: on myself and connecting and developing empathy not just for myself, 700 00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:36,200 Margot Blouin: but my ability to empathize with my parents, with people 701 00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:39,720 Margot Blouin: around me, with my husband. It has grown so substantially, 702 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,279 Margot Blouin: just because I care for myself now in a way 703 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,680 Margot Blouin: that I never did before. And so when people that 704 00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,960 Margot Blouin: I'm working with, my employees, come in. Everybody wears a 705 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,400 Margot Blouin: mask at work, and my job's not to take the 706 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,000 Margot Blouin: mask away. Like we wear our masks. They serve a 707 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,759 Margot Blouin: good purpose for us. But at the same time, I 708 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,279 Margot Blouin: want to connect with the person find that mask. I 709 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,359 Margot Blouin: want you to know that you can trust me, that 710 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,239 Margot Blouin: I'm going to do the best for us and for 711 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:08,400 Margot Blouin: this company that I can possibly do. 712 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:13,400 Emily Tisch Sussman: Oh that's so beautiful. What do you think the future holds? 713 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,960 Margot Blouin: We are at an inflection point, and that much is clear. 714 00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:22,920 Margot Blouin: I'm no longer scared of thinking about the future from 715 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,880 Margot Blouin: my own personal perspective, but I'm scared about the world. 716 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:30,440 Margot Blouin: There's a lot happening. I'm Canadian, I'm still Canadian, and 717 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,960 Margot Blouin: so there's a lot happening between our countries right now. 718 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,440 Margot Blouin: There's a lot happening towards trans people right now, and 719 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,440 Margot Blouin: there's a lot of question works. I'm terrified that we 720 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:45,560 Margot Blouin: are taking a step back from a really prosperous place 721 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,520 Margot Blouin: as a continent, you know, as a society of people 722 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,239 Margot Blouin: beyond countries, and that so much of the great work 723 00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,360 Margot Blouin: that's been happening the last one or thirty years is 724 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:59,680 Margot Blouin: being done. I'm an optimist and I am out you 725 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,840 Margot Blouin: know my story that I'm out building my company because 726 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,560 Margot Blouin: I believe that I have an active part to play 727 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,600 Margot Blouin: in making the world better. My role is I am 728 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,480 Margot Blouin: a builder. That is the one thing that has always 729 00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,960 Margot Blouin: come naturally to me. And I'm going to continue to 730 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,520 Margot Blouin: build and I want those I want our inventions, I 731 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,279 Margot Blouin: want our efforts to go into making the world a 732 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,839 Margot Blouin: better place. So what does the future hold? It holds 733 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,439 Margot Blouin: a lot of question marks, but you had better bet 734 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:28,560 Margot Blouin: that I am going to be here doing everything that 735 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,920 Margot Blouin: I can to make it better for my community and 736 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:35,200 Margot Blouin: for my company, and to the stuff that I can 737 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:35,960 Margot Blouin: for my country. 738 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,120 Emily Tisch Sussman: Is there something It can be something we've covered, or 739 00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,000 Emily Tisch Sussman: can be something different. Is there something that at the 740 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,000 Emily Tisch Sussman: time felt like a real low point for you, but 741 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,279 Emily Tisch Sussman: now in retrospect you see it as having really launched you. 742 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:53,280 Margot Blouin: I told you about deciding not to ignore the feminine 743 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,160 Margot Blouin: side of me in August of twenty twenty two. In 744 00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,600 Margot Blouin: November of twenty twenty two, I was laid off from 745 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:02,960 Margot Blouin: my job. I woke up one morning too an email 746 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,120 Margot Blouin: that I thought i'd never get. I had always been 747 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,319 Margot Blouin: a top performer and here I was laid off and 748 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:13,480 Margot Blouin: suddenly without work. And it was such a difficult moment 749 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:19,719 Margot Blouin: because I was burnt out. I couldn't fare to touch 750 00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:22,440 Margot Blouin: a computer, and this was something that I had gravitated 751 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,719 Margot Blouin: towards my entire life. But I couldn't even bear to 752 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,400 Margot Blouin: play a game at a computer. I couldn't sit at 753 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,520 Margot Blouin: my desk, I couldn't do anything, and I felt so 754 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:35,960 Margot Blouin: fundamentally broken. And at the same time, I was contemplating 755 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:39,759 Margot Blouin: my own gender, and it just felt like, I think 756 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:44,600 Margot Blouin: I've lost everything. I've lost my identity, I've lost my career, 757 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:48,920 Margot Blouin: which was a big part of my identity. What is left? 758 00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:52,560 Margot Blouin: And that was probably the darkest, most difficult moment in 759 00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,760 Margot Blouin: my life. And it took me a good couple months 760 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,560 Margot Blouin: to just be able to sit and just do a 761 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:03,880 Margot Blouin: few of work at my computer, and slowly but surely 762 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:08,799 Margot Blouin: I started working again. And the only thing that felt 763 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,239 Margot Blouin: right was to work on this idea and to work 764 00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:15,280 Margot Blouin: on this company, and to transition. And so I started 765 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,440 Margot Blouin: doing both of these things at once. I started exploring 766 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,680 Margot Blouin: my identity. I started exploring new names. I looked into 767 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:26,439 Margot Blouin: getting hormone replacement therapy, which takes quite a while to get, 768 00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:32,239 Margot Blouin: takes many months or years in some places. And I said, 769 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,480 Margot Blouin: you know what, in that moment, I went from thinking 770 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,080 Margot Blouin: I could I might just kill myself over this, to 771 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:44,560 Margot Blouin: I'm not accepting that. I am not accepting this terrible 772 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,320 Margot Blouin: offer that I've been given. I am going to change 773 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,800 Margot Blouin: myself and I'm going to change what I'm doing and 774 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,279 Margot Blouin: I'm going to come out the other side way stronger. 775 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:57,880 Margot Blouin: And today I know that I am the person I 776 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:00,239 Margot Blouin: meant to be and I am doing the thing that 777 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:00,960 Margot Blouin: I am meant to do. 778 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,839 Unknown: Thank you so much, Margo, Thank you. 779 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:15,319 Margot Blouin: So much, Emily, and just thank you for reaching out. 780 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:16,799 Margot Blouin: Has really meant so much. 781 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:21,279 Emily Tisch Sussman: Margo still lives in Montreal with her husband and is 782 00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:24,000 Emily Tisch Sussman: growing Cadstrom, So if you ever want to build a 783 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,440 Emily Tisch Sussman: piece of electronics, you know where to go. I'm so 784 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,120 Emily Tisch Sussman: grateful to Margo for coming on to share her story 785 00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:33,520 Emily Tisch Sussman: so openly, especially during a time when trans writes are 786 00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:36,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: being attacked. The thesis of this show is to share 787 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:39,239 Emily Tisch Sussman: stories so we can all see ourselves reflected in them 788 00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:43,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: and be inspired. Marco's story is no different. While the 789 00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:46,359 Emily Tisch Sussman: details of her story might be unusual, we can all 790 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,080 Emily Tisch Sussman: relate to it in some way. There are a few 791 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,680 Emily Tisch Sussman: organizations linked on our causes page of the she Pivots website. 792 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,880 Emily Tisch Sussman: If you have the means, please consider donating. This issue 793 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,480 Emily Tisch Sussman: is bigger than we know and it will take all 794 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,799 Emily Tisch Sussman: of us and our voices to defend the trans community. 795 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:04,160 Emily Tisch Sussman: Thank you so much for listening. Thanks for listening to 796 00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:05,960 Emily Tisch Sussman: this episode of she Pivots. 797 00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,960 Unknown: I hope you Enjoyed it, and if you did, leave 798 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,840 Unknown: us a rating and tell your friends about us. To 799 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:15,399 Unknown: learn more about our guests, follow us on Instagram at 800 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,840 Unknown: she pivots the Podcast, or sign up for our newsletter, 801 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,000 Unknown: where you can get exclusive behind the scenes content on 802 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:29,080 Unknown: our website at she pivots thepodcast dot com. Special thanks 803 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:33,800 Unknown: to the she pivots team, Executive producer Emily Edavlosk, Associate 804 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:38,840 Unknown: producer and social media connoisseur Hannah Cousins, Research director Christine Dickinson, 805 00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:43,279 Unknown: Events and Logistics coordinator Madeline Sonoviak, and audio editor and 806 00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:44,600 Unknown: mixer Nina Pollock. 807 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:47,240 Unknown: I endorse she pivots