1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Dear Governor is a production of I Heart Media and 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: three Months Media. If you are moved by Jarvis Masters 3 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: and his thirty years struggle on San Quentin's death throw, 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 1: and you'd like to support his cause, please consider signing 5 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: a petition on his behalf. Visit free Jarvis dot org 6 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: slash podcast to sign your name to an open letter 7 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 1: to California Governor Gavin Newsom, Dear Governor Newsom, Dear Mr 8 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 1: Governor Newsom. This is an open letter to Governor Gavin Newsom, 9 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: Dear Governor Newsom. There's an adage made popular in n 10 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: fifty four by President Dwight D. Eisenhower that there are 11 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: no atheists in a foxhole. The idea behind this phrase 12 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,480 Speaker 1: is that anyone who finds themselves in the position of 13 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 1: extreme stress where death is all but imminent, he or 14 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: she will seek comfort in a higher power or after 15 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: being sentenced to death. We've all heard stories about men 16 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:08,040 Speaker 1: and women turning to God, finding redemption, or being born again, 17 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: but there is surprisingly little research to prove this phenomenon 18 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: as anything but anecdotal. Official statistics on religious affiliations in 19 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,479 Speaker 1: prison are not publicly available, and there are also those 20 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,039 Speaker 1: who lose any sense of faith that they once had 21 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 1: after being sentenced to death row. Considering such bleak and 22 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: inhumane conditions, Jervis j Masters falls into the former camp 23 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: he found his religion as the walls of the capital 24 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: injustice system began to close in on him in nineteen 25 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: eighty six, tighter and tighter until they can find him 26 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 1: for a lifetime in a nine by four cement and 27 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: steel wire cage. On last week's episode, we met Melody 28 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: irma child Chavez, the investigator on Jervis's defense team who 29 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,639 Speaker 1: first introduced Jarvis to Buddhism. This week, we meet another 30 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: woman who was instrumental in nurturing and reinforcing Jervis's burgeoning 31 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: Buddhist mind. My name is Susan Shannon. I am a 32 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:11,519 Speaker 1: Buddhist and interfaith chaplain. I provide spiritual support for incarcerated 33 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 1: people and people who have recently gotten out of prison, 34 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: as well as spiritual direction for the general population. I 35 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: am also a CPE instructor, and CPE is a program 36 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,560 Speaker 1: that chaplains need to go through in order to get certified, 37 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: so I am actively involved in training other chaplains. When 38 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: did you begin your chaplain see at Quentin two thousand 39 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: and eleven. And how long did you work with the 40 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: general population before you started working with those on death row. Oh, 41 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,359 Speaker 1: I started in on death row almost right away. Jarvis 42 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: and I started one on one probably close to the 43 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: beginning of two thousand twelve, and we had one on 44 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: one visits every week for I believe it was a 45 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:10,359 Speaker 1: couple of years before others began to want to get 46 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: in on the fund that we were having. I understand 47 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 1: when you first started your one on ones you were 48 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 1: just sitting outside Jarvis's cell door, not sitting standing standing, Okay, 49 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: And what was that like? Because I know when I 50 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: talked with him on the phone it is so loud, 51 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: so many voices. Did did they quiet down so that 52 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: they could eavesdrop on you? So it was kind of 53 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: one on It was one on one, but with like 54 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: ten years listening in. Yeah, well, yes, there was definitely that. 55 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 1: And there was also, luckily for Jarvis and myself, father 56 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: George Williams, who was the Catholic chaplain there, who put 57 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 1: us together. I saw that Jarvis and I had a 58 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: lot in common with our spiritual practice, and Father Williams 59 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: was able to secure for us a small room and 60 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,680 Speaker 1: so It was only really one or two times that 61 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: I had to stand on his front porch, as he 62 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: would say, and the rest of the times we were 63 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: able to sit in a small room, which was great. However, 64 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: every night that I went into death Row, I walked 65 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: to buy Jarvis to cell, and so pretty much every week, 66 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: whether it was his group that was called for our 67 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: Buddhist services or not, I would stand and visit with Jarvis. 68 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: I think I was cleaning the floor and the Catholic 69 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:39,239 Speaker 1: priests George Williams are calling brother George because I didn't 70 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: like the term father, so I call him brother George. 71 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: I said, how are you doing? He said, I brought 72 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: somebody to see you. I said who? And she stepped 73 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: out from around and she says, I think we have 74 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: the same teacher, and we do the same and if 75 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: I can do anything to help you, and if you 76 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: know other people who might need some help, I'm here 77 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,159 Speaker 1: is father George. Brother George is going to allow me 78 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: to come in here on the tier is sponsor me. 79 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: You know, he was gonna use his credentials to allow 80 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: me to come in. And maybe you and I can 81 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: do some practices together, and maybe you and I can 82 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: figure out how we can extend this to other people 83 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: on death Row. Jervis Masters recalls meeting Chaplain Susan Shannon 84 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: from his side of the front porch one of particular kind. 85 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: It was really really funny. They had this thing when 86 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: they call self front. I think it's called self front. 87 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: Is that when you're allowed to sit in front of 88 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: some on sell. You know, I never knew. I never 89 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: could imagine I had been here along long, long decades 90 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 1: that they would let her sit on death Row, on 91 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: the tier and there, and we're meditating to get it. 92 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: It was without the power of this Catholic praise, he 93 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:12,480 Speaker 1: would never even begin to happen. So that's how much 94 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: juice he has. So we're sitting there and you know, 95 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: I said, you know, Susan, I know some of these mantras, 96 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 1: and you're asking me to say some of these mantras instead. 97 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 1: And you know, there I learned because you just hear 98 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: it all the time and it just becomes a part 99 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: of your your song, you know. And we were doing 100 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 1: this and people start laughing all over the Dawn building. 101 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,559 Speaker 1: You know, I'm trying to tell Susan because her eyes 102 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: was cold, I said, Susan, she was doing her thing. 103 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: You know, Susan, can you hear all these people laughing? 104 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: And she she leaned in, she says at us, and 105 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,440 Speaker 1: I it, yeah. And I was sweating all over the place. 106 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:08,279 Speaker 1: I was just pouring sweat. I had my whole little 107 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,640 Speaker 1: naturals wet. Like I got out of the shower because 108 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: I didn't want to tell this deep practitioner to stop 109 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: you embarrassing. You know, I just had this go do this, 110 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: you know, And I did, I really did, and I 111 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: was so happy that I did. And I felt, if 112 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: I can do that, I can do anything. You know, 113 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: I mean, you can do anything. Did you guys really 114 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: develop a friendship? How do you describe that a teacher 115 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: student relationship. I think it's hard to not develop a 116 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 1: friendship with Jarvis because he is so jovial and inquisitive 117 00:07:55,400 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: and good humored and deep that he finds his way 118 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: into your heart no matter what. And as a chaplain 119 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,000 Speaker 1: and as a female in a man's prison, I always 120 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: felt like I needed to uphold the best possible boundaries 121 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: I could. But Jarvis wears his emotion on his sleeve. 122 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 1: And as we would sit and talk together, life happens 123 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: and stories happen and we would laugh and we would cry, 124 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: and most definitely a very very deep connection. It wasn't 125 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: so much created as as much as it was discovered 126 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: to have already existed before we even met. What were 127 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 1: year one on one's like did you read from texts? Or? 128 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: At first? Jarvis had a lot of questions. Like many 129 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: of the men, he had seen certain things written, but 130 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: didn't know how to pronounce mantras, for example, or certain 131 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: sanscrit or Tibetan words. He wanted to know the explanation. 132 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: I would always asked him, well, what what are you 133 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: really interested in? And for a while we worked on 134 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 1: the pronunciation of mantras. For a while, we worked on 135 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: or shared together the different schools of Buddhism, some of 136 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: the different schools, most of the time with Jarvis. And 137 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: this is what makes him such an exceptional practitioner. Is 138 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: he uh? I was trying to think of how I 139 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: could articulate this to you guys. He he embodies his 140 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: practice on a day to day, minute by minute level. 141 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: So a lot of our conversations were about things that 142 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: had happened to him or things people said, conversations. He 143 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:48,719 Speaker 1: had challenges he had with other people things he had observed, 144 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: and what would be the Buddhist approach, and he would 145 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: talk about I would ask him, well, what was your approach, 146 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,440 Speaker 1: and we would talk about his approach. And he always 147 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: wanted to ground into some kind of Dharmic foundation, and 148 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: most of the time he was already there. He's a 149 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: he's a very advanced practitioner, explained Dharma. Well, Dharma is 150 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: the word that is used for the teachings of the Buddha. 151 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: Dharma means the path, the way, and so if you 152 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 1: are studying Buddhism, you're studying the dharma, the Buddha dharma. 153 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: And Jarvis and I both adhere to the Tibetan tradition. 154 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 1: In fact, as you may have read, we share a teacher, 155 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:40,319 Speaker 1: Chunda Ku, which is what was my key to going 156 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:43,439 Speaker 1: into death row in the first place, convincing Father George 157 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: that this was a very rare coincidence that Jarvis not 158 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: only share the same Tibetan teacher, but this teacher gave 159 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 1: us both the same practice, the red tarer practice. So 160 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: that was really really profound. And tell me what the 161 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 1: red tiers well, Tara is the feminine manifestation of the deity. 162 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:11,840 Speaker 1: Of compassion in Tibetan Buddhism, so Tara is like the 163 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: divine feminine are are married, and Tara's compassion and healing energies, 164 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 1: as well as her activity energies, are manifested in different ways. 165 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: So in the Tibetan tradition, there are numerous depictions of 166 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: different facets of the same deity. So Tara's main facets 167 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: remain manifestations are green Tara, which is the manifestation of compassion, 168 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:46,079 Speaker 1: White Tara, which is the manifestation of healing, and Red Tara, 169 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 1: which is the manifestation of enlightened activity. And chug Datuku 170 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: gave Jarvis and I both the Red Tara practice to do. Now, 171 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 1: have you known about Jarvis before you started your chaplaincy there? 172 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: Had you read his books? Or how did you find 173 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: that key to get into death row? My last year 174 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: of Masters in Divinity program, I took a prison ministry 175 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: course and I found that going into San Quentin, which 176 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:22,200 Speaker 1: was part of the course under Father George Williams, was 177 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 1: my new monastery. I felt very activated and I began 178 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: to read. Father Williams is also a criminologist, and so 179 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 1: his course was rich in the criminology and all kinds 180 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: of readings we did, and I found my appetite to 181 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 1: be immense and insatiable. And eventually I was led to 182 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: Jarvis's books, which is where I found that he and 183 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: I shared the meeting and relationship with chunkda Tuku as 184 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,000 Speaker 1: well as the red tarp practice. Did that give you 185 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: shivers when you saw that it did? And you know, 186 00:12:56,679 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 1: the truth of interconnectedness is crazy. The other thing about 187 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 1: Jarvis and I that we discovered over the years and 188 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: we continue to we probably know ten twelve people in common. 189 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,960 Speaker 1: And and that's insane, right, like a sixty year old 190 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 1: white woman coming into San Quentin State Prison having ten 191 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 1: or twelve people in common with a death row inmate 192 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: who's been in there for however many years. So the 193 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 1: times we discovered our interconnections with other people were just 194 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: mind blowing and continue to be so. To know that 195 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: Jarvis had this connection with Chagdutuku made it very clear 196 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 1: to me that I was in the right place and 197 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: that our paths were going to cross. And before I 198 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 1: met Jarvis, I would visualize Tara above death Row every 199 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 1: time I walked in and just imagine her sending love 200 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: and light and healing and divine feminine concern and care 201 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 1: and protection to all the men they're never really having. 202 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:09,319 Speaker 1: In my wildest imagination, how large our connection would end 203 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 1: up to be. The more that Jarvis studied the Buddha, 204 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,440 Speaker 1: the more he realized he wanted to share what he'd 205 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: learned to commune with his neighbors who may equally benefit 206 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: from these newfound practices. And while pre COVID religious services 207 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: abounded in the general population, this was not the case 208 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 1: on death row, particularly for those who did not identify 209 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: as a Christian or a Catholic. Back in the eighties, 210 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: there were no Buddhist courses or services at San Quentin, 211 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 1: no formal Buddhist teachers or chaplains assigned a death row 212 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 1: up next. How Jarvis and Chaplain Shannon, and the threat 213 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: of a lawsuit managed to change the status quo for 214 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 1: those on death row open to the Dharmic path for 215 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: a on time. Before he met you, Jarvis wanted to 216 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 1: have a Buddhism class on death row, but he was 217 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 1: not permitted to do that. But you were able to 218 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: do that because of your capacity as a chaplain. How 219 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: did that come to fruition towards the end of Jarviston 220 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 1: my one on once. We we always talked about the 221 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: heart of Buddhism and that which is beyond time and 222 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,280 Speaker 1: space and beyond form and bars and all of that, 223 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 1: and what that is is the the Bodhi Cheetah, the 224 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 1: enlightened heart, the awakened heart and mind of of the Llama. 225 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 1: And we always knew that chugged A Touklu's heart heart 226 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: mind would not have put us together if it was 227 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:47,720 Speaker 1: just for him and I that was our Lama was 228 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: beyond that, and and so we knew that at some 229 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: point our group was going to grow. What happened was 230 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: that another inmate on death row who identifies as Buddhist, 231 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: filed a petition to begin a lawsuit against the cdc ARE, 232 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: saying that his spiritual needs were not being met as 233 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: a Buddhist. So pretty much the only thing that gets 234 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: the c d c ARE to make any kind of 235 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 1: change is that kind of a threat. So that because 236 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: I had already been going in, I had clearance to 237 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,040 Speaker 1: go in. I had all the right paperwork to be 238 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 1: considered a chaplain by the prison, even though I wasn't 239 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 1: a staff chaplain, because they don't formally acknowledge Buddhist chaplains. 240 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 1: It just naturally fell to where our group began to grow, 241 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: and it grew rather quickly. How big did it grow? 242 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: In about a year and a half. It went from 243 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: Jarvis and I two, myself and six other men. Yeah. 244 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: Why is it that they don't officially recognize um a 245 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: Buddhist chaplain. It's that they don't visually recognized Buddhism as 246 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: one of the five main faith traditions that the state 247 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: prisons acknowledge, and those five are Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, 248 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 1: and Native American. In spite of numerous lawsuits, they still 249 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:25,439 Speaker 1: don't recognize Buddhist or Inner faith. However, you could tell 250 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: by the rapid growth of our group, and by the 251 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,959 Speaker 1: work I did in the main line, and and just 252 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 1: looking around and what's happening across the world. The tools 253 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: and skills that Buddhism offers are very non sectarian. They're 254 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: very useful and adaptable to all other faith traditions. So 255 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:49,880 Speaker 1: it's it's just a matter of time, I think. Tell 256 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 1: me about the first group gathering you had at the 257 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: Death Row Chapel. Yeah, so it did start slow, and 258 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: the way that the even though it grew fast, it 259 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: started slow. And I'll explain that the men on Death 260 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 1: Row are organized by the cdc R into groups called yards. 261 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: And I forget how many yards. There are, thirteen or 262 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,680 Speaker 1: something yards. There's a lot of yards. And those yards 263 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: are organized according to all kinds of things raise former 264 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: gang affiliation um, maybe even crimes um, people who are disabled, 265 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: et cetera. So the rules are that men of different 266 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: yards can't mix. So that meant that though I had 267 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:49,480 Speaker 1: sixty five guys signed up at the most, I could 268 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: still only see one yard at a time. The chapel, 269 00:18:55,359 --> 00:19:02,120 Speaker 1: what is about gosh, my bad measurement probably about long, 270 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,120 Speaker 1: maybe not even ten ft wide. It's an old shower 271 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:13,919 Speaker 1: area and it's encased in that diamond wire that is 272 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: used for the bars, the prison cells, et cetera. Including 273 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: on the top and up above us always was a 274 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: guard with a rifle. There's little sally ports that the 275 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: men were. The shackled men were brought in by their 276 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,240 Speaker 1: tier guards, who they called they kind of affectionately called 277 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 1: their ride. So um, if somebody was on the second tier, 278 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: the second tier guard would bring them down, you know, 279 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,400 Speaker 1: shackle them up, bring them down, I'd be sitting in 280 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:51,919 Speaker 1: the There were five wooden benches bolted to the floor 281 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 1: in the chapel and three cages that weren't We were 282 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,719 Speaker 1: never supposed to call them cages, but that's what they 283 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 1: were about, phone booth sized cages in the back. And 284 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,160 Speaker 1: those cages were where the men would sit if they 285 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 1: if I had a mixed yard group, which I had 286 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 1: for an entire for quite a while, so as the 287 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 1: men were brought into the sally port and led to 288 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: the cage, I would sit as far away from them 289 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 1: as I felt the guard needed me to for him 290 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: to feel safe, because they're always wanting to protect people. 291 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 1: The guard and the inmate knew exactly how did sort 292 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 1: of dose. He go around to where the inmate would 293 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:45,560 Speaker 1: be backed into, go forward into the cage, turn around, 294 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,479 Speaker 1: and one fell swoop move. He would put his hands 295 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 1: behind him. The guard would shut the cage and locked 296 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 1: the cage, and the inmate would put his hands out 297 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 1: the little port of that's about the as of a 298 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: shoe box, and the guard would unshackle his hands. The 299 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,400 Speaker 1: inmate would turn around and sit down. The guard would 300 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 1: lock the little place where the man's hands came out 301 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,640 Speaker 1: and we would begin so and I always have to 302 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 1: wear a bulletproof stab proof vest whenever I went in. 303 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 1: Were you ever frightened? No, there was maybe one time 304 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 1: when I should have been frightened. There was. There were 305 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: some kind of funny times there where when I look back, 306 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: I think most people would have, you know, panicked. There 307 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,560 Speaker 1: was one time when I was with Jarvis in the 308 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: little room and it was the end of a nine 309 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:47,439 Speaker 1: hour day. I always had to go in. Um My 310 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 1: time's going into death row were part of a bigger schedule, 311 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,960 Speaker 1: so I didn't pick and shoes when I could go in. 312 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: So that this was at the end of a nine 313 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 1: hour day. Jarvis and I had spent about an hour 314 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,679 Speaker 1: or so. I was hungry, I was tired, it was 315 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 1: getting late. Um and there was a medical emergency on 316 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: the ground tier so the whole prison shut down. I 317 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,479 Speaker 1: couldn't leave until this man died and was brought out 318 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 1: in all this, and so I was there for a 319 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 1: long time. Um. And and that was fun in a way, 320 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,119 Speaker 1: because it was always fun to be with Jarvis, but 321 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:32,600 Speaker 1: it was also hard in terms of keeping my My 322 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 1: blood sugar was really low, you know that kind of thing. Hum. 323 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:42,399 Speaker 1: There was another time, when a guard who was new 324 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 1: brought an inmate in to the chapel. It was going 325 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 1: to be a one on one and unfortunately I knew 326 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 1: why this inmate was on death row, which never mattered 327 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 1: to me. I mean I was there as a chaplain 328 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 1: to address matters of this spirit and matters of the heart, 329 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: so I had good boundaries around um all the rest 330 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,880 Speaker 1: of what comes with death row. But the guard, instead 331 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:15,679 Speaker 1: of putting him into the cage, which this man and 332 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: I had been seeing each other for now, probably about 333 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: eight years, so we knew each other. Well, the guard 334 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: just let him go. And so I'm standing there, I'm 335 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 1: sitting there and this you know inmate, who is never 336 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:35,719 Speaker 1: free like that around a free first and shackled, you know. 337 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,879 Speaker 1: He looked at me. I looked at him, and we 338 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 1: both just raised our eyebrows. It was pretty funny. We 339 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,880 Speaker 1: both just kind of raised our eyebrows and the and 340 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:51,080 Speaker 1: shrugged our shoulders. And the inmate was he he was perfect. 341 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: He kept his hands behind his back and he said, um, officer, 342 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 1: aren't you forgetting something? And the officer can I swear here? 343 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:08,600 Speaker 1: Can I? Absolutely? The officer up on the gun the 344 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,879 Speaker 1: gun rail up above us. He looks down. He goes, dude, 345 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:16,480 Speaker 1: you gotta keep him shackled, and and the officers like ship, 346 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:20,920 Speaker 1: oh shit, oh shit, shit. He just started taking out. 347 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: And I'm sitting there, Oh my god, anybody else would 348 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:28,040 Speaker 1: be scared shitless, and hear me and this inmate are 349 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,600 Speaker 1: just kind of cracking up, and he sits down, and 350 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,919 Speaker 1: you know, the guard is I'm sure worried he's going 351 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,080 Speaker 1: to be losing his job or getting you know, that 352 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 1: could have been my retirement, right, And we both just 353 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 1: see he looks at me and he goes, that's never happened. 354 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,399 Speaker 1: So that was the time when I probably could have 355 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 1: should have been scared, but I wasn't. I was sort 356 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: of amused up next, how the Buddhist curriculum on San 357 00:24:55,560 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 1: Quentin's death Row evolved. According to the Pew Research Center, 358 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: three and four prison chaplains believed the access to religion 359 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:21,480 Speaker 1: related programs on the inside is absolutely critical to successful transformation. 360 00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 1: Having piqued the interest of dozens of men on San 361 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: Quentin's death Row, I asked how chaplain Susan Shannon helped 362 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 1: develop their Buddhist curriculum to satisfy the array of believers 363 00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 1: and practitioners. What I found was that as more guys 364 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 1: began to show up, there began to be some kind 365 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 1: of positioning with the guides, like, well, somebody maybe came 366 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: from the Zen tradition or was had read some books 367 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 1: on Zen, and they thought Zen was all there was. 368 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:52,679 Speaker 1: Or somebody else came from the Soco Gakai tradition and 369 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 1: he thought that was all there was. And then there 370 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: was the Tibetan tradition, and they thought that was all 371 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 1: there was. So I said, you I saw right away it. 372 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,879 Speaker 1: It was gonna be a bit of a pissing contest, 373 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 1: and I said, you know it, No, we're not gonna 374 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: do that. We're gonna focus on what the different schools 375 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 1: of Buddhism have in common, and the common goal is 376 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,520 Speaker 1: to cultivate a warm heart and interconnectedness, and that's what 377 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,919 Speaker 1: we're going to focus on. So I created this big 378 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,320 Speaker 1: chart of comparison chart of all the Buddhist schools, and 379 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:28,400 Speaker 1: I created a twenty two page outline that brought us 380 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 1: through step by step most if not all, of the 381 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:39,120 Speaker 1: main topics that all schools of Buddhism cover. And that 382 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,120 Speaker 1: took us about two and a half years. I gave 383 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: all the men the outline and I began to go 384 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 1: through it. Um I began to get really good at 385 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 1: this because by the time I had eight yards, I 386 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,160 Speaker 1: was teaching the same thing for eight weeks in a row. 387 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 1: And UM, it took us two and a half years 388 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 1: to go through this. How do you have eight yards 389 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 1: in the tiny, tiny room? And I could only see 390 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,440 Speaker 1: one yard at a time. Once the yards grew, I 391 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,640 Speaker 1: couldn't see a mixed yard anymore. And with this this 392 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 1: kind of recognition of how the guys were beginning to 393 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 1: argue about their tradition, I also made the decision that 394 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:22,199 Speaker 1: they agreed to that our sessions were not going to 395 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 1: be practice sessions. They were going to be study sessions. 396 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 1: And yet even though they all agreed on that, it 397 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: didn't happen that way. What happened was I found that 398 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 1: they had a deep, deep love of meditation. So what 399 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,960 Speaker 1: I did was, as part of this twenty two page outline, 400 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: I extracted from Buddhist ceremonies a few of the main 401 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:54,160 Speaker 1: elements that I felt were going to be really useful 402 00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 1: to the men's lives. And this is how we structured 403 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,639 Speaker 1: every time that I went there. Every every group. We 404 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: structured them in this way that began with breathing together 405 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,280 Speaker 1: with a meditation. Began with a meditation where we set 406 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: our intention, and we called in all of our spirit guides, 407 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 1: all of the enlightened beings, all of the teachers, um, 408 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,800 Speaker 1: anybody who has ever taught us anything that related to 409 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,000 Speaker 1: our own realization. We brought them in. We consciously and 410 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:28,880 Speaker 1: verbally brought them a little little space there and uh. 411 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,960 Speaker 1: Then we would go through some breathing, some posture and 412 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 1: breath and it was the most This is where beauty 413 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: comes in. The men dropped into meditation so deeply. They 414 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 1: would sit there, and I wish, this is something I 415 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: thought all the time. I wish I could share this 416 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 1: image with the rest of the world. I would open 417 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 1: my eyes and I would look at these men sitting here, 418 00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: and they would be glowing, and they would be so 419 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 1: at peace. And here they were in the darkest place 420 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 1: in the universe, one of the darkest places in the universe, 421 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 1: and they would be um sending love out, sending love 422 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 1: out to the people they loved, sending love out to 423 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: the people they had issues with, sending love out to 424 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:25,239 Speaker 1: their victims, sending love out to all the people that 425 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 1: they'll ever or never meet, and these men were just 426 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: just these beautiful, beautiful faces of peace. And so meditation 427 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: did become an important part of our daily programs. And 428 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 1: not only that, but without fail, the entire cell block 429 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 1: would quiet down. And I'm talking seven twenty guys or 430 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:52,880 Speaker 1: however many are in there now, but at the time 431 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 1: it was like seven guys stacked in cells five tiers 432 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 1: high with this amazing cacophony, and the whole place would 433 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: quiet down. What I found on Death Row is that 434 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 1: it's the razor's edge of impermanence. Life and death happened 435 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,640 Speaker 1: very regularly on Death Row and there is probably not 436 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 1: a cell that hasn't had a suicide in it. You know, 437 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: no inmate has control over their life, so at any 438 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: given point in time, they could have their cell torn up, 439 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 1: they could be taken away for something that they did 440 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 1: or did not do. I mean, impermanence is lives on 441 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 1: Death Row, and so so does However, because of that 442 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 1: kinetic energy, so does the power of transformation. And that's 443 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: what I was trying to harness with these men, was 444 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:57,560 Speaker 1: the ability to spiritually transform. You guys are standing or 445 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 1: sitting on the rocket launcher here on Death Row. You know, 446 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:07,600 Speaker 1: all you can do really is spiritually transformed, and they did. 447 00:31:08,440 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 1: Over the years that I worked with the men, both 448 00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: Death Row and Mainline. The hunger for transformation that I 449 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:19,440 Speaker 1: found there far surpassed anything that I ever witnessed in 450 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:25,959 Speaker 1: Tibetan monasteries in Nepal. And I just saw this incredible 451 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 1: zest and love for for transformation, for making amends, for 452 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 1: really looking at their own hurt and how that fueled 453 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:39,720 Speaker 1: them to hurt others, and this deep hunger to feel 454 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,960 Speaker 1: and heal what they had done in society. So in 455 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: this regard people who have maybe caused you the most 456 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: harm in this bigger picture, or maybe the ones who 457 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: were teaching you the most important lessons for going forward. 458 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 1: I we didn't talk a lot of out Jarvis and 459 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 1: his spirituality, but I will say that just just now, 460 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: that he is a profound um human being who embodies 461 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 1: his Dharma, his his Buddhism is in his blood, bones, marrow, sinews, 462 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 1: and heart. Nothing comes easy in prison, but then to 463 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,760 Speaker 1: the Buddhist mind, all is a matter of perspective. Following 464 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,360 Speaker 1: is an excerpt from Jarvis's audio book Finding Freedom. How 465 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 1: death row broke and opened my heart on how he 466 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,520 Speaker 1: managed to improvise amala, a string of Buddhist prayer beads 467 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 1: with little access to anything, while in solitary confinement in 468 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:43,760 Speaker 1: San Quentin, taylan all prayer beads. It was past midnight. 469 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: The prison night watchman was making his routine body count 470 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 1: down the tier when I awakened from a late evening 471 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 1: snooze with plans to get up and spend the rest 472 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,880 Speaker 1: of the night. During my meditation practice. I pass the 473 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,240 Speaker 1: length to myself for a while, or eight feet of it, 474 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,160 Speaker 1: preparing myself with the repetitions of the Tara prayer. Suddenly, 475 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: I was struck by an idea for a way to 476 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 1: make my own mala, my own prayer beads which I 477 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 1: could use to keep track of the repetitions. I spun 478 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 1: around my cell looking for what I would need. Since 479 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 1: the very first day of learning this prayer, I wanted 480 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 1: a mala to help me with my practice. My teacher, 481 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,080 Speaker 1: Rimpoche and other practitioners who came to sin Quentin to 482 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 1: visit me had often offered to bring me one, but 483 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:27,160 Speaker 1: prison authorities had denied them permission to do so. I 484 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 1: gathered a pair of prison issue jeanes, a Sports illustrated 485 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,880 Speaker 1: and a bottle of Thailand all and sat down at 486 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 1: the front of my cell. I picked and pulled at 487 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,600 Speaker 1: the seams of the jeans until I got hold of 488 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 1: a good piece of thread. I unraveled more than I 489 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 1: meant to. Oh, A gaping hole widened down the leg. 490 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 1: I'll get another pair somehow, I resolved and put the 491 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 1: thread aside. I opened the Sports illustrated to the middle 492 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 1: and took out one of the staples. I straightened it 493 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,800 Speaker 1: out and sharpened it on the rough concrete floor beside me. 494 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: I had to be very quiet. If night watchman heard 495 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,080 Speaker 1: these strange scratching sounds, the whole cell block might be 496 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:07,120 Speaker 1: searched in a panic. Scraping usually meant a weapon was 497 00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,880 Speaker 1: being sharpened. For almost an hour, I ground the staple 498 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:12,840 Speaker 1: on the floor until it was as sharp as a 499 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:16,359 Speaker 1: sewing needle. Now, I opened the bottle of Thailand aill 500 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:19,600 Speaker 1: and began the slow process of poking a tiny hole 501 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,800 Speaker 1: in the center of each tablet. There were a hundred 502 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,400 Speaker 1: of them. I had to be as careful as a surgeon. 503 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 1: First I poked at the surface of the Thailand, and 504 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,520 Speaker 1: then with a screwing motion. I made a hole all 505 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 1: the way through. Taking the thread from my jeans, I 506 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: passed it through each bead. All through the night, I 507 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:42,040 Speaker 1: sat cross legged, poking holes and thailand ails and threading 508 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: them together. It was extremely tedious. My eyes blurred with exhaustion, 509 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 1: my fingers began to get sore. I felt foolish. What 510 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:55,719 Speaker 1: in the world am I doing, I asked myself, but 511 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 1: I kept going, determined to finish. Five and a half 512 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,560 Speaker 1: hour later, I held my first mama, made from trouser 513 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,560 Speaker 1: thread and thailer as. I was elated, but when I 514 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,799 Speaker 1: got up to stretch, my head throbbed. I had an 515 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 1: awful headache. I stood silently at the bars of my cell, 516 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:17,080 Speaker 1: taking comfort and looking out a window. In the opposite wall. 517 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,400 Speaker 1: A beautiful morning light was speaking in. I wouldn't mind 518 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 1: a tailing all too, I thought, to stop this pounding 519 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,840 Speaker 1: in my head. I looked down at my hands. Damn, 520 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,759 Speaker 1: I don't have any They're all on this mama. For 521 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,560 Speaker 1: a split second, I thought the unthinkable. My head was 522 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:42,040 Speaker 1: hurting that much. Then I smiled. I realized that after 523 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,520 Speaker 1: spending all this time making my tailing a mala, all 524 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 1: I needed to do was to sit my butt back 525 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,480 Speaker 1: down with it and take a few moments no tailing alls, 526 00:35:52,440 --> 00:36:01,920 Speaker 1: to do my spiritual practice. Next week, the social psychologist 527 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 1: assigned to Jarvis's death penalty case thirty years ago and 528 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:10,440 Speaker 1: his groundbreaking research, reinforcing the fact the proactive prevention is 529 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,560 Speaker 1: far more effective than reactive punishment when it comes to 530 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: reducing criminal behavior. The audiobook of Finding Freedom, How Death 531 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: Row Broke and Opened My Heart by Jarvis j Masters 532 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:25,040 Speaker 1: can be found at Shambala dot com or Audible. Will 533 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 1: link to both sites in our show notes. This episode 534 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: was written and produced by Donni Fazzari and myself, Corny Cole. 535 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,839 Speaker 1: Our theme song sentenced is compliments of the band Stick 536 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:40,400 Speaker 1: Figure from their album Set in Stone. Stu Sternbott composed 537 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 1: the original music. Nate Defort did the sound design. For 538 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 1: more information on Jarvis and to find out how you 539 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 1: can follow his case and support his cause, please visit 540 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 1: Free Jarvis dot org. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, 541 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:58,800 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 542 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.