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Speaker 1: My roommate's boyfriend tried to test my loyalty. They threatened

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Speaker 1: to kick me out.

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Speaker 2: He's testing my patients. Uh huh.

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Speaker 1: I nineteen female live with my roommate, let's call her Ashley,

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Speaker 1: twenty female, in a small, two bedroom apartment. We've been

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Speaker 1: friends since high school and decided to split rent when

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Speaker 1: we both started college. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 1: wholesome Ario on the r slash okay storytime subbreddit. So

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Speaker 1: things were fine at first, but then she started dating

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Speaker 1: Jake twenty two male. At first, he was over just

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Speaker 1: a couple of nights a week, which I didn't mind.

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Speaker 1: But over the past few months he's basically moved in,

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Speaker 1: eating our food, using our stuff, and not contributing a

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Speaker 1: single dime to rent or bills.

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Speaker 2: This is so frustrating. I've been in this situation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's incredibly frustrating. Sometimes I worry that I am Jake.

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Speaker 3: You're not Jake.

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Speaker 2: Okay, You're not Jake than you I like you. You're

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Speaker 2: not Jake okay, good. Please let me know if I

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Speaker 2: ever am Jake, I will understand.

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Speaker 1: I finally had enough and told Ashley that Jake either

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Speaker 1: needed to start paying his share or stop practically living here.

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Speaker 1: She apologized and said she'd talk to him. I thought

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Speaker 1: that was the end of it. Fast forward to last week.

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Speaker 1: I was getting ready to head out to a late

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Speaker 1: night study group when Jake cornered me in the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: He told me he wanted to test me to see

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Speaker 1: if I'd be a good person to live with full time.

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Speaker 1: I was confused and asked what he meant. He said

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Speaker 1: that if I wanted him to pay rent, I had

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Speaker 1: to prove that I was roommate material by showing that

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Speaker 1: I could handle sharing the space with someone like him.

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Speaker 1: He then gave me a list of rules he'd want

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Speaker 1: me to follow if he officially moved in, things like

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Speaker 1: doing my share of cooking even though I already make

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Speaker 1: my own meals, not bringing any guys over.

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Speaker 2: I'm single, but why is that relevance he's over. I'm

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Speaker 2: sure he's the guy that she's not allowed to bring

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Speaker 2: over guys, but he's over all the time.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy, and being respectful of his gaming time by

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Speaker 1: keeping the Wi Fi free during his streams.

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Speaker 2: It's really good.

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Speaker 1: I laughed in his face and told him there was

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Speaker 1: no way he is moving in good good He got

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Speaker 1: pissed and told Ashley that I was being unreasonable. She

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Speaker 1: confronted me and said Jake was just testing the waters

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Speaker 1: and that I should have been more open to the idea.

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Speaker 1: She accused me of being jealous because I'm single, and

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Speaker 1: suggested I was trying to sabotage their relationship. Now she's saying,

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Speaker 1: if I can't be supportive, then maybe she should get

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Speaker 1: a new roommate, one who respects her relationship. Maybe just

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Speaker 1: move in with your boyfriend and have him pay the rent.

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Speaker 2: So I don't think she knows how a lease works, right,

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Speaker 2: Like there's a time CRUSH's telling me, maybe I need

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Speaker 2: to get a new roommate, like it can happen just out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, that's so insane. I think this is completely insane.

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Speaker 1: But Ashley and a couple of her friends are siding

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Speaker 1: with Jake. They're calling me selfish and controlling.

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Speaker 2: That's so crazy. I think have been misinformed.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely so am I the a hole for refusing to

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Speaker 1: let him move in after his ridiculous test? And there

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Speaker 1: are some relevant comments, But what's our answer?

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Speaker 2: Not at all, Not at all, not at all. I

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Speaker 2: hate this couple. It's so silly, Goose. It's all so silly, goose,

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Speaker 2: You're so right, this is ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, I think like when you are a partner and

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Speaker 2: you're like coming over and staying in a person's house

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Speaker 2: and stuff, it's just about like respect and making sure

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Speaker 2: like one, you're not taking over like a common area, right,

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Speaker 2: or getting in people's way your stuff everywhere. Stuff.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was in a situation where people were leaving all

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Speaker 2: their stuff in the sink and I'd be like, now

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Speaker 2: I were in your stuff, and they were that's that's

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Speaker 2: or like you're you know, you're constantly here. It's not

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Speaker 2: as much of an issue because we're all, you know,

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Speaker 2: controbting with toilet paper, but when you have like toilet

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Speaker 2: paper's always missing, you're like, yeah, it's just like all

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Speaker 2: of those little things that add up. All right, So

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Speaker 2: now some relevant comments.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 1: Cod three five one five says not the a hole.

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Speaker 1: Jake's behavior is a major red flag. His test shows

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Speaker 1: controlling tendencies and lack of respect for boundaries.

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Speaker 2: The apartment is yours and Ashley's. He has no right

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Speaker 2: to set rules or test you. His demands are about cooking,

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Speaker 2: visitors and Wi Fi usage are completely inappropriate. Your original

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Speaker 2: request was reasonable either he pays rent or stops living

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Speaker 2: there rent free. Most leases have guest policies limiting overnight stays.

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Speaker 2: Ashley is being manipulated here.

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Speaker 1: Jake moved in without permission, uses resources without contributing, and

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Speaker 1: now tries to establish dominance by setting rules in an

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Speaker 1: apartment where he doesn't even pay rent. Stand firm on

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Speaker 1: your boundaries, document everything, and check your lease about guest policies.

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Speaker 1: Consider talking to your landlord if this continues. Remember you

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Speaker 1: signed a lease with Ashley, not Jake. His attempt to

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Speaker 1: test you is just a power play to establish control

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Speaker 1: over your shared living space. And OPI responds, thank you

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Speaker 1: for the advice. I will start to docum everything from

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Speaker 1: now on. Any other advice I should do as well.

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Speaker 1: I v Keltris says, if you don't already have one,

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Speaker 1: put a lock on your bedroom door.

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Speaker 2: That's a good yeah point. He could be snooping' could

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Speaker 2: be snooping. We don't want them stooping, dealing or anything. Swiper,

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Speaker 2: no swiping, that's right. Gorilla Boy seventy five says, so

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Speaker 2: he thinks he can come in as third wheel and

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Speaker 2: start making demands in stupid rules. Sounds like he's not

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Speaker 2: the room mate.

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Speaker 1: Material tell Ashley that if he's paying one third, that

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean he gets priority. How dare he make demands

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Speaker 1: when he's an equal partner in expenses, especially for gaming

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Speaker 1: for crying out loud, and Opie responds, yeah, he gets

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Speaker 1: really emotional when it comes to his gaming.

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Speaker 2: Tay, That's the thing. It's like, even if he were

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Speaker 2: on the least, you still don't get to say, well,

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Speaker 2: you guys need to be off the Wi fi because

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Speaker 2: stream Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it's not even like he's streaming as a job, no,

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Speaker 1: Like he's just he's just doing it for fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And you're gonna kick everyone else off the wi fi,

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Speaker 1: which is so ingrained in our lives.

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Speaker 2: Now, are you how you gonna do that? You can't.

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Speaker 2: You can't do that though, So how wi Fi do

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Speaker 2: you need? Like it's not usually wi Fi allows for

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Speaker 2: multiple people. I'm confused, right, Like if you want your

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Speaker 2: own WiFi, yeah, exactly for all those little extension things, right,

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Speaker 2: it can be all yours Mary go. But there is

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Speaker 2: an update.

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Speaker 1: Okay, hi everyone, It's been a wild ride since my

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Speaker 1: original post, and I wanted to give an update because

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Speaker 1: a lot has happened First off, I want to thank

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Speaker 1: everyone who has commented. It helped me see things completely

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Speaker 1: in a new light. Honestly, I didn't even realize how

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Speaker 1: much I was being gaslighted by Jake and Ashley until

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Speaker 1: I read some of your insights. I thought they were

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Speaker 1: my friends, But now I see how manipulative and toxic

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Speaker 1: their behavior really is.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I just hated the thought of not having any friends,

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Speaker 2: but who needs enemies with these kinds of friends. Not

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Speaker 2: gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: It still breaks my heart to realize this, and I

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Speaker 1: cried a lot. Oh, but that doesn't change anything.

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Speaker 2: Ha ha. I don't know why I'm saying this.

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Speaker 1: It's just been a really emotional day, so please forgive

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Speaker 1: me for my rant. Since our confrontation, Jake has gone

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Speaker 1: full victim mode.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to hear about geez. He's been telling

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Speaker 2: mutual friends that I'm trying to ruin his life and

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Speaker 2: kick him out of.

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Speaker 3: His girlfriend's apartment.

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Speaker 1: Yes, let me remind you this man doesn't pay rent

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Speaker 1: or contribute to any bills, so calling it his girlfriend's apartment.

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Speaker 2: Is already laughable. That's right. He's been painting me as

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Speaker 2: some controlling, jealous monster you can't handle his straightforward personality,

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Speaker 2: he calls it. Meanwhile, Ashley is eating it up and

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Speaker 2: defending him, saying, I'm overreacting and causing unnecessary drama. What's

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Speaker 2: worse is that I've started noticing just how much control

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Speaker 2: Jake has over Ashley. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: mean the fact that he's kind of gotten like let

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Speaker 2: him live at her house, yeah, for her apartments, and

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Speaker 2: she's like defending him, yeah, even though it's ridiculous. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Like I feel like with the relationships, when there's something

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Speaker 2: so insane like this, but then like from one of

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Speaker 2: the partners and then the other partner is like totally

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Speaker 2: fine with it and totally like wholeheartedly backing them up.

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Speaker 2: I kind of just go to like that insane partner

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Speaker 2: has to be like beating this thought into their head,

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Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, I mean, like, how do you not

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Speaker 2: see the red flags?

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Speaker 1: She's completely bought into his narrative and is now acting

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Speaker 1: like I'm the enemy. For example, she told me last

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Speaker 1: night that my attitude is making it hard for them

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Speaker 1: to feel comfortable in their own home.

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Speaker 2: Their home.

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Speaker 1: You can't you just can't say that this apartment is

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Speaker 1: fifty percent mine. But suddenly I'm being treated like an

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Speaker 1: unwelcome guest. I've decided I've had enough. I've already documented everything,

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Speaker 1: his constant presence, his free loading, and now his smear campaign.

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Speaker 2: I'm reaching out to my landlord this week.

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Speaker 1: Most lisas have clauses about long term guests, and Jake

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Speaker 1: has definitely overstayed his as. For Ashley, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if there's any saving our friendship. I'm heartbroken because I

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Speaker 1: thought she cared about me, but now I realize she's

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Speaker 1: supporting Jake's abusive behavior. You know who will always care

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Speaker 1: about you us when you join us live every week

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Speaker 1: day at three pm PST on YouTube, Facebook TikTok just

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Speaker 1: hop our profile.

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Speaker 2: Rabbit there for you tab it.

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Speaker 1: Thank you to everyone who opened my eyes to what

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Speaker 1: was really happening. I'll post another update once I've spoken

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Speaker 1: to my landlord and taken further action. For now, I'm

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Speaker 1: just trying to reclaim my space and my peace of mind. Also,

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Speaker 1: I really want to thank.

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Speaker 2: You for just caring and being there.

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Speaker 1: This is what I needed to hear, and you were

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Speaker 1: all honest and fair with me. I'm very grateful for

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Speaker 1: the support I got that I couldn't get anywhere else,

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Speaker 1: So thank you. Some relevant comments. Lily White says, nice

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Speaker 1: that you're standing up for yourself and you're right to

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Speaker 1: a peaceful living space. Op says, I realized the night

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Speaker 1: after I posted that I didn't feel safe anymore without

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Speaker 1: a locked door. That was my sign I really needed

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Speaker 1: to listen to the advice. Curious Josh says, good for

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Speaker 1: you on standing up for yourself. Fyi, a twenty two

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Speaker 1: year old male should almost be graduating college, not freeloading

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Speaker 1: off a nineteen female girlfriend demanding no one uses the

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Speaker 1: Internet during his gaming time. Like, come on, this guy's

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Speaker 1: a walking red flag.

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Speaker 2: Ohp, he says. And he's not even a good player. Hah,

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Speaker 2: I'm joking.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea, but he gets angry all the

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Speaker 1: time and screams at his screen and throws stuff across

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Speaker 1: the room.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a whoa, sounds like a bad player. That's

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Speaker 2: a huge red flag, huge red flag. Literally, if I

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Speaker 2: ever see a man scream at a video game, I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: crag Haack says, good luck.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately, Jake seems like a good manipulator, so he might

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Speaker 1: have gone Ashley on board with his narrative. Don't mean

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Speaker 1: she's without guilt. Just mean that she might have started

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Speaker 1: as a friend. But even if she isn't that now.

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Speaker 1: I would look for your own apartment. As long as

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Speaker 1: they are in your life, your home will unfortunately not be.

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Speaker 2: A safe zone. Good luck with everything, Oh, Pi says yes,

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Speaker 2: I think she got blinded by love. I'm in no

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Speaker 2: place or mood to judge her. I will probably move

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Speaker 2: out and see if my friendship to her can remain.

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Speaker 2: I don't plan to see Jake anymore. And that is

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Speaker 2: the end of it. Ooh, yeah, move out, don't see Jake.

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Speaker 2: Jake's gonna have to figure out how to pay. Eventually.

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Speaker 2: The girlfriends kind of realize if they move in together anything, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: supporting her hopefully, and then she realized, hey, oh this

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Speaker 2: guy's correct. That is the end of that story, so

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Speaker 2: we'll see you in the next one.

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Speaker 3: I confronted my roommate about her bed hygiene. Now she's

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Speaker 3: furious with me.

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Speaker 2: Call her out. Sometimes you need to wake up.

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Speaker 3: Call I twenty one female have lived with the same

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Speaker 3: roommate twenty one female for almost two years now. She

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Speaker 3: has always been a bit messier than my liking, but

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Speaker 3: I've put up with it for the most part. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from user throwaway number e on

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Speaker 3: the r slash Okay story times up redd It. Since

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Speaker 3: we moved apartments last September, she has been even more

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Speaker 3: lax about cleaning. She leaves her hair in the shower

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Speaker 3: drain and never cleans the bathroom. I do once or

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Speaker 3: twice a week. The counters in the kitchen are sticky,

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Speaker 3: crummy mess if I don't clean them, and I do

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Speaker 3: this probably once every other day and every time I cook,

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Speaker 3: and I've only seen her vacuum once. There are some

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Speaker 3: other things she does that bother me. She never uses

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Speaker 3: headphones and blasts her podcast and shows out loud even

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Speaker 3: when she knows I'm working low key. I might be

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Speaker 3: guilty of that.

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Speaker 2: I don't blast her.

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Speaker 3: I don't blast them. I don't okay, low volumes, Okay,

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Speaker 3: let's get She sits at the kitchen counter doing work

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Speaker 3: while I'm cooking and complains that the kitchen smells like oil. Duh,

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Speaker 3: I'm cooking. She always seems to try to race me

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Speaker 3: to get into the bathroom and takes a long time

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Speaker 3: in there. She can x her phone to a bluetooth

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Speaker 3: speaker she has in there, and blasts her shows from

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Speaker 3: the bathroom mid crap. For those wondering, I have confronted

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Speaker 3: her about pretty much everything I stated above, and she

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Speaker 3: has apologized for it, but just says she's really busy

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Speaker 3: and she'll try harder to be better. The last time

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Speaker 3: I did this was less than a month ago, and

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Speaker 3: I did it in a very passive aggressive way. We

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Speaker 3: both agreed we were in the wrong and apologized to

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Speaker 3: each other. Now, this all would be less bad if

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Speaker 3: she wasn't actively making a mess, but she is, and

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Speaker 3: it's the worst in the bathroom. She doesn't seem to

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Speaker 3: have a good sense of what a clean bathroom looks like.

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Speaker 3: I don't think she's ever done her own chores before

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Speaker 3: moving in with me. As I usually find particles of

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Speaker 3: crap in the toilet, I just flushed them down and

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Speaker 3: then clean up the toilet with the toilet brush. I

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Speaker 3: clean with toilet cleaner once or twice a week. This

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Speaker 3: has bothered me for a while, but it's embarrassing, so

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Speaker 3: in an effort to not make her feel bad, I

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Speaker 3: clean it up and say nothing. Lately, this has been

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Speaker 3: in conjunction with rat sized balls of hair being left

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Speaker 3: in the shower and muddy footprints on the floor. Apparently

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Speaker 3: she craps with shoes on. The footprints are right in

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Speaker 3: front of the toilet, in the position that you'd be

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Speaker 3: in sitting there. That's crazy. Shoes on in the bathroom

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Speaker 3: is crazy.

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Speaker 1: She's just like leaving her literally leaving her footsteps, all

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Speaker 1: her fingerprints everywhere.

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Speaker 3: She's trying to mark her territory. Yeah, tonight I got

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Speaker 3: to my breaking point. I came home from work at

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Speaker 3: nine pm and had to pee incredibly bad. I'm usually

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Speaker 3: home earlier on Thursday nights, but I took a late

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Speaker 3: shift and she didn't know about it. My roommate was

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Speaker 3: in the bathroom. Our doors very loud and it can

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Speaker 3: be heard while in the bathroom, so I know she

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Speaker 3: heard me come into the apartment. I waited for twenty minutes,

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Speaker 3: and at that time she turned on the shower and

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Speaker 3: started blasting her podcast from the shower speakers. I knew

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Speaker 3: I was doomed, so I sucked it up and pete

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Speaker 3: in a gatorade bottle. I threw it away right away.

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Speaker 2: She says, Wow, no, that's listen, that's real.

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Speaker 3: That is We've all been there. I wanted to shower

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Speaker 3: after what I had done, but she didn't leave the

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Speaker 3: bathroom until nine fifty pm. I got up to run

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Speaker 3: in there to shower, and she beat me to it,

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00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,160
Speaker 3: locked the door once again, and stayed in there for

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Speaker 3: another thirty minutes. I was finally able to take a

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Speaker 3: shower after a while and noticed all the mud and

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Speaker 3: hair everywhere, so I left the bathroom to grab cleaning

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Speaker 3: supplies to take care of it. She ran back in

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Speaker 3: again and stayed for another twenty minutes. Okay, what are

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Speaker 3: we doing, wit We are even leaving the bathroom. I'm

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Speaker 3: doing this bang bang bang bang bang bang. I'm knocking

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Speaker 3: on that door until she opens it and I say

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Speaker 3: get out. Yes, I gotta use it.

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Speaker 2: I think that's totally reasonable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I understand that she was probably having some dummy troubles,

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Speaker 3: but I was clearly trying to use the bathroom and

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Speaker 3: clean it, and she wasn't communicating to me that she

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Speaker 3: needed it for the rest of the night. I had

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Speaker 3: no idea what to do. And you know what, I

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Speaker 3: don't care how bad your tummy problems are. You don't

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Speaker 3: need the bathroom the whole night. Yes, you can let

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Speaker 3: somebody go in. Yeah for a moment, right, this is.

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Speaker 1: Insane, right, because if you're going like for hours at

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Speaker 1: this point, it's like a fifteen minute shower.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And if, by the way, if you need to

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Speaker 3: be on the toilet for hours, yeah, hospital, you need

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Speaker 3: to go to the doctor.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I had no idea what to do. I was finally

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00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,320
Speaker 3: let back in and immediately went to brush my teeth,

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00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:41,840
Speaker 3: as I figured I would not get the chance. Later on,

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00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:45,120
Speaker 3: I was greeted with a drop of liquid crap right

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00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,280
Speaker 3: on the toilet seat.

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00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,760
Speaker 2: Oh.

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00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:51,040
Speaker 3: So I brushed my teeth, tried not to barf, and left.

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00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,080
Speaker 3: As I walked out, I set out loud, clean up

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00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,520
Speaker 3: the toilet seat. I'm fine with cleaning your hair out

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00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 3: of the shower and the mud off the floor, which

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00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,760
Speaker 3: you shouldn't say that. Ope, but this is crossing a line.

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00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,200
Speaker 3: I knew she probably wouldn't want to talk about it,

345
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 3: so I just gave her space and went back to

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00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,560
Speaker 3: my room. She has been crying loudly, stomping around and

347
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,840
Speaker 3: slamming doors since I might have been harsh on her,

348
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,800
Speaker 3: but I think she needed to hear that she was

349
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,160
Speaker 3: making a mess. So am I the ale and there's

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00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 3: an update really quick? No?

351
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,800
Speaker 2: No, not absolutely not not.

352
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:27,400
Speaker 3: No, although you might not be effectively like communicating here.

353
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,840
Speaker 3: And I think you know, this could be a case

354
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,560
Speaker 3: of somebody weaponizing negative feelings right where it's like you

355
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,000
Speaker 3: can't tell this person anything because then they're gonna run

356
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,080
Speaker 3: off and cry about it and slam doors, which then

357
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,280
Speaker 3: is such a headache you don't even want to tell

358
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Speaker 3: them anything.

359
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,440
Speaker 2: Ever again, you're like no chance for communication, like at all.

360
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:47,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like there's just a and now you have put

361
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,520
Speaker 3: yourself in a position where you're the hair cleaner and

362
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,840
Speaker 3: the mud scrubber.

363
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,680
Speaker 2: Is so much mud. You even told her, You're like,

364
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,760
Speaker 2: I'm okay with this. Yeah, you shouldn't be okay with.

365
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:01,560
Speaker 3: That, Like you need to have a conversation. She she needs,

366
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 3: not you want her. She needs to clean up after herself.

367
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,359
Speaker 2: Yes, I so okay. I work with kids, right besides this,

368
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,640
Speaker 2: I work with kids. And one of them, their dad

369
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,560
Speaker 2: wrote a book like a kid's book. It was so fun.

370
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,920
Speaker 2: She brought it in. I read it like very dramatically

371
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:18,120
Speaker 2: for everyone. It was all about putting the toilet seat down,

372
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 2: you know, clearly for potty training or something. But there

373
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 2: was one page that was like also applicable to girls too,

374
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Speaker 2: and it was like don't leave any tinkle on the

375
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:28,840
Speaker 2: I don't know what it said, but it said like

376
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,159
Speaker 2: don't sprinkle your tinkle or something like that, like on

377
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,720
Speaker 2: the toilet, just talking about anything left up like this

378
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 2: girl is doing, leaving it literally on the seat. Yeah,

379
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,600
Speaker 2: this is a book for like two year olds. This

380
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:41,840
Speaker 2: woman needs.

381
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:45,560
Speaker 3: To have his toddler levels of hygiene, like my first

382
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:46,400
Speaker 3: partty training.

383
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,919
Speaker 2: Yes, come on, basic stuff.

384
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,960
Speaker 3: It's been an hour and I went into the bathroom

385
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 3: to clean up. The crap was still on the toilet.

386
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:59,200
Speaker 2: Oh, back to the book, it's available online.

387
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, you know what, there's a second update

388
00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,399
Speaker 3: right after that. Let's see, let's go. Apparently she uses

389
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 3: the bathroom with the lights off because they bother her.

390
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:09,640
Speaker 2: You ever poop in the dark?

391
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:10,640
Speaker 3: I don't think, I don't think.

392
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,199
Speaker 2: I don't think I have.

393
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,560
Speaker 3: I've definitely never been like, oh the lights stayed unless

394
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,720
Speaker 3: I have a migraine. Right, But I'm I mean, what, yeah,

395
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 3: what kind of weird? That's just a whole.

396
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 2: Bunch of mysteries weird.

397
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,800
Speaker 3: She spun this whole thing saying I'm an a hole

398
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,639
Speaker 3: because I yelled at her when I told her to

399
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,280
Speaker 3: clean it up. Then went on saying that I should

400
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,240
Speaker 3: tell her when I'm coming home so she can put

401
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,399
Speaker 3: headphones on. What. I'm at a loss, but I just

402
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 3: said we both have things to work on and left

403
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:39,679
Speaker 3: it at that.

404
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,199
Speaker 2: Why does she want to ignore you when you're coming home? Like?

405
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,119
Speaker 2: Does she needs to hear you so that she can

406
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,280
Speaker 2: get out of the bathroom. That's what we need.

407
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 3: Completely inexplicable behavior coming from Op's roommate just insane. You

408
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 3: need to find a new one immediately. I really don't

409
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,240
Speaker 3: think I did anything wrong by raising my voice, especially

410
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 3: since it was just because I didn't know where she

411
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 3: was in our apartment. I didn't walk up to her

412
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,320
Speaker 3: yelling her face. I was just walking to my bedroom

413
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 3: from the bathroom and didn't see her. I think there's

414
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 3: no winning here. And here's some comments from a illustrious dot.

415
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 3: Definitely not the a hole. You've made numerous attempts to

416
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,560
Speaker 3: communicate and she isn't receiving your words. That's not on you.

417
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 3: I'm a reasonable gal, but I would not have been

418
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,600
Speaker 3: this patient. I agree. I also would not have been like,

419
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 3: I guess we have we both have things to work on.

420
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 3: I'd be like, why are you lying to me? Right?

421
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,399
Speaker 3: Why are you trying to lie to me that you

422
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,440
Speaker 3: what you didn't know I was here? Right? It's crazy

423
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 3: And this is why op I said earlier, like bang

424
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 3: on the door, you'd be refused to be ignored, right

425
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 3: Earthen Tennis thirty four says, not the a hole. In

426
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,879
Speaker 3: my experience as a female who is a clean person

427
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,919
Speaker 3: and lived with many unclean roommates in college, she is

428
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 3: never going to change. Some people are just messy and

429
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,199
Speaker 3: that's who they are. All you can do to yourself

430
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 3: by constantly confronting them is tire yourself out, if possible,

431
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 3: find a new roommate who is clean. When your lease

432
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 3: is up, tell me problems or not. She needs to

433
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 3: respect your communal space. But you know what, Honestly, because

434
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 3: comment talks about confronting, I don't feel like, oh p,

435
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 3: he's confronting anything.

436
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 2: Oh P.

437
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 3: He's just kind of like sitting around, like I guess

438
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,119
Speaker 3: I'll let her use the bathroom for an hour and

439
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:10,480
Speaker 3: a half.

440
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:10,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

441
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 1: I think she's just scared of like offending her or

442
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: something like that, because I mean it seems like any

443
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,680
Speaker 1: little thing that she does deeply offends her. Oh yeah,

444
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 1: So it's back to the not communicating.

445
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, if it has been this long and she has

446
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 3: not changed, then she never will. Also, people have different

447
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 3: definitions of what clean is. A thing that kind of

448
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,520
Speaker 3: worked in the past was a short chart, but then

449
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 3: again it didn't work well when people are incapable of

450
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 3: cleaning things correctly. Best of luck, and that is the

451
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 3: end of that story.

452
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:39,880
Speaker 2: Wow.

453
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,000
Speaker 3: You can join our lives every weekday at three PMPST

454
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 3: on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. All you gotta do

455
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 3: is tap on our profile and you're in the live

456
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:50,439
Speaker 3: tap it.

457
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 2: Just do it, just tap it.

458
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 3: We might even be live right now this story is over. Yes,

459
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 3: we are going to collect our thoughts really quick, go

460
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,440
Speaker 3: check right after that. I think that there's certain things

461
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 3: you can be passive about, yes, for your own peace

462
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 3: of mind, right right? This doesn't feel like one of them.

463
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's one thing I think to be messy

464
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,479
Speaker 1: in the kitchen. That's also a place you don't want

465
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 1: to be messy, right right, communal spaces exactly, yes, and

466
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 1: that you know includes food you can get sick from that.

467
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 1: Another thing you want to be clean about is feces

468
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 1: and other like bodily fluids right literally.

469
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:28,160
Speaker 3: Leaving feces on the toilet. This is I can't even

470
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 3: imagine not having the wherewithal to be like I need

471
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 3: to immediately address this, right like like fine.

472
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, like yeah, she can sit on my own crap.

473
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,359
Speaker 1: That's fine, that's like totally fine.

474
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 3: I can see it. If it's maybe like a mark

475
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 3: in the toilet bowl, it's like whatever, that's just it happens.

476
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it has to be in.

477
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 3: The toilet bowl though, right right, that is the requirement. Anyway,

478
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 3: that is the end of that story, But we have

479
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 3: another one coming right up.

480
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,919
Speaker 2: My roommate always belittles me. But I thought we were friends.

481
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 3: Oh that's not what friends do. That's not what friends

482
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 3: are for.

483
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm seeking the internet for some advice. I am

484
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,640
Speaker 1: currently in a year long lease. I have seven more

485
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 1: months to go before it's up. I live with my

486
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,439
Speaker 1: best friend, or at least someone who I thought was

487
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 1: my best friend.

488
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 3: Oh betrayed dum intrigue.

489
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,440
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a confession Anonymous on

490
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime sepreddit. So when we first

491
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 1: moved in, everything seemed great. She did prushure me into

492
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 1: it by saying things like I will not be friends

493
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: with you anymore if we don't get this and saying

494
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 1: things about my mom who couldn't leave work like her

495
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 1: mom could to be able to tour it.

496
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 2: She said, I.

497
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: Will hate your mom if she can't get over here

498
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: to tour the place.

499
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 2: This person sucks really fast so much to say, we're

500
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 2: like four sentences in belittally.

501
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 3: This is just like a complete lack of respect in anyway.

502
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 1: Yes, I should have seen the big red flag right there,

503
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 1: but I brushed it off because.

504
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 2: She's my best friend and I don't want to lose her. Anyway.

505
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: We moved in and it was so much fun. I

506
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 2: couldn't believe I got my own place less than a

507
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 2: year out of high school, and I got to share

508
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,440
Speaker 2: the experience with my best friend.

509
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 3: She hates your mom though.

510
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah maybe your Maine. She's your best friend, but I

511
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:15,199
Speaker 2: don't know if you're her best friend at all. It

512
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,120
Speaker 2: was all great until about two months in. That's all

513
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 2: it took.

514
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 3: That's not a long time.

515
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 2: A long time.

516
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: My best friend got very comfortable with being able to

517
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 1: do whatever she wanted.

518
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 2: She didn't have strict.

519
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: Parents, but hated having to tell them where she went,

520
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: and she barely had a curfew, only needed to be

521
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: home if there was something they needed her home for.

522
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 1: But with this new found freedom, she cut most of

523
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 1: her family off. Was having someone over every night getting wasted.

524
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: She's a few years under the drinking age and overall

525
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: being crazy with the new freedom.

526
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 3: We do not condone underage consumption of any substance.

527
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,120
Speaker 2: Not at all.

528
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 3: Not at all.

529
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 1: She's always been the type of person to say what's

530
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 1: on her mind and tell people how it is. She

531
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 1: used to be kind to me when I met her

532
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: and when we spent our days together back in high school.

533
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 2: Over time she grew meaner.

534
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it's from her becoming more comfortable

535
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: with me and her thinking I won't leave, But she

536
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,439
Speaker 1: says horrible things to me, constantly talks down about my

537
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 1: mom or my family, who has been nothing but kind

538
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: and welcoming. She's called me a bee and other curse words.

539
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 1: She told me, I'm a horrible person if I don't

540
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 1: want to go out with her at night because I

541
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 1: work early in the morning, so I can't see.

542
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 2: What's that?

543
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, the unforgivable?

544
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, like shaving her for being responsible?

545
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know this is a codependent friendship. Yeah, you

546
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 3: sign up for it.

547
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 1: It's actually in the least right right, You just missed

548
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: that part's in the fine writing. She always says I'm

549
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 1: a boring person because I work full time, which she

550
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 1: doesn't anymore.

551
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 2: She gets weekends off, but I don't. She's seasonal, but

552
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 2: will sometimes get decent part time hours.

553
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: She gets paid over twenty dollars an hour to sit

554
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,440
Speaker 1: and watch the elderly. I know there's more to it sometimes,

555
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: but her main lady doesn't require anything but for someone

556
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: to make sure she's all right. Does not seem like

557
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: a responsible person to be watching over an elderly person.

558
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 3: I don't think either of these persons people should be

559
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:09,720
Speaker 3: watching the elderly.

560
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, well, I manage customer service on nine hour days,

561
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: and I do multiple things a day that require me

562
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 1: to be up and running for those nine whole hours.

563
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: Unlike her, I don't get paid to sit and watch

564
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: TikTok or do nothing. She likes to use my job

565
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: against me. She would yell at me for only being.

566
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 2: Part time and that I needed to get a second

567
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 2: job or quit and get something full time somewhere else.

568
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,639
Speaker 2: Didn't she just say she was like, yeah, full time.

569
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 3: Just prety much she wished nine hour days. Yeah, maybe

570
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 3: she only does it like three times a week. Yeah maybe.

571
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 1: Luckily I was able to get a full time position

572
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 1: that required weeks of training, but I got a small

573
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: pay raise and was able to start making a little

574
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: less than double what I used to in a week. However,

575
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 1: now that I'm full time like she wanted, it's just

576
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 1: another thing to yell at me for. She will belittle

577
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 1: me and yell at me if I say I'm tired.

578
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,880
Speaker 1: She claims I should be tired because my job is easy.

579
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: Customer service at a grocery store is easy and you

580
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 1: don't actually do anything.

581
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:09,199
Speaker 2: I think that's probably a lie. Customer service anywhere is

582
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 2: gotta be hard.

583
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 3: It sounds like someone who's never had a job for

584
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 3: real before.

585
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, like she needs to be talking saying these things

586
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: to herself.

587
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, actually I.

588
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 2: Actually do a lot. She will then name every reason

589
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 2: she has.

590
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 1: The right to be tired, and I can't be more

591
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 1: to the point, it's hard living with someone who constantly

592
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 1: brings me down.

593
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 3: That makes sense, act big fact.

594
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, makes me feel like I'm not worth anything and

595
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 2: can't do a single thing right. We've been getting in

596
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 2: arguments lately because I'm starting to chime my opinion in

597
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 2: and it doesn't align with hers, so I get interrupted

598
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 2: and screamed at. If my family wants to come over,

599
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 2: then it's too much, and she doesn't want to be

600
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 2: in the presence of other people. But if her family

601
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 2: wants to stop by, then they can stay all night

602
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: and eat our food and it doesn't matter. I'm unfortunately

603
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 2: a lonely person, so I don't have any other friends

604
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 2: on her, so I don't get to invite other people

605
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 2: over like she does.

606
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 1: There's always someone over, and she'll completely interrupt me. For example,

607
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:07,679
Speaker 1: I was watching a movie when she came home with

608
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: a friend I've never met before. She SAIDs far across

609
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: from this friend, so I'm in between.

610
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 2: That's so awkward.

611
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 3: Why would you do that. There's no way she's about

612
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 3: to do what I think she's about to do.

613
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I don't know what you're thinking.

614
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 3: It's like she's she's sitting there watching a movie. She

615
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 3: walks in with her friend and they sit on either

616
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 3: side of her. I'm scared she's gonna die to start

617
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 3: going blah blah blah blah blah across op probably not

618
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 3: even about the movie. No, just about anything.

619
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. She proceeds to take the remote from

620
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 2: me and turn down the TV volume to almost nothing

621
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 2: so she can have a conversation across the room with

622
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 2: the friends she brought over.

623
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 3: Somehow, even work, I did anticipate the remote volume to

624
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 3: one all right, anyway, Yeah, so, like, my god.

625
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 2: It is crazy. When I mentioned I was watching it,

626
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 2: she said she doesn't care, and she needs to be

627
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 2: able to have a conversation.

628
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 3: You can have one somewhere else.

629
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 2: Yes, that's what rooms are for. That's what public spaces

630
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 2: are for. I left the room after that.

631
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 1: I want to feel comfortable in my own space, but

632
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: I don't feel that way until I know she won't

633
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 1: be home. She spends the night at her boyfriend's here

634
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: and there, and if I know she won't be home

635
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: for the night, my body and mind relaxes.

636
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 2: I can feel it.

637
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 1: I want to say she's a narcissist, as per the Internet,

638
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,440
Speaker 1: since her qualities line up with many of the same

639
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 1: as a narcissist, and she's straight up such a mean person.

640
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 1: I don't feel comfortable leaving my stuff with her. Her

641
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: stuff is all throughout the apartment. It's in the bathroom,

642
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: the closet, the kitchen, just everywhere. But as for me,

643
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: my stuff is only in my room besides my toothpaste

644
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: and a few cups in the kitchen.

645
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: By the way, you can watch us anywhere in your house.

646
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: You can watch us in the kitchen, in the closet, in.

647
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 1: The bathroom if you so please, because we're live every

648
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 1: weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube, on Facebook, on TikTok.

649
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 3: Just top our profile and we might even be live

650
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 3: right now. Oh yeah, before you check on that, let's

651
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 3: finish this story. Yes, really quick, so far like another

652
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 3: thing I didn't even think about and doing right now.

653
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 3: Imagine being the friend when she came home and like, yeah,

654
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 3: just like railroaded the TV and turned all the way down,

655
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 3: like the.

656
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,959
Speaker 1: Being there, like when she's obviously just being blatantly disrespectful

657
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: of the roommate.

658
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be a very unco.

659
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 3: I feel like you're just like sitting that You're like

660
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,719
Speaker 3: you're a co conspirator at that point by not just

661
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,840
Speaker 3: being like, hey, can we not do we not like

662
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 3: this person at all? What are we doing?

663
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,080
Speaker 2: Yeah?

664
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, this is just a crazy, crazy roommate.

665
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't even think of anyone else at all.

666
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 3: I think the solution here is, well, first of all,

667
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 3: this is not your best friend. Best friends do not

668
00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 3: treat each other this way, And I would look into

669
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 3: figuring out how to get out of the least. Yeah,

670
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 3: you know, anyway possible, find a support her.

671
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 2: Like yeah, like confront her, but like have a witness that.

672
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 3: You know, you know, I don't think at this point

673
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 3: even confronting her, like, yeah, she might be complete blind

674
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 3: to her own behavior here, but like, I don't think

675
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: that there's a way back. I think this person fundamentally

676
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 3: just does not respect you in any way. Yeah.

677
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 2: So, yeah, but there's seven months left on the lease.

678
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 2: Seven months.

679
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 3: Well, the alternative here is that you have to try

680
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 3: to be so annoying that you get her to break

681
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 3: her lease.

682
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 2: Just turn it into a big brother.

683
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 3: But she's like either way, it's like you're in for

684
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 3: a messy ride, that's sure, But.

685
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: There is more So let's see, she makes anyone's stuff

686
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 1: her own, especially mine. She used my stuff to give

687
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 1: to her boyfriend or just use it for him in general.

688
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 1: I'm sorry she's gifting your stuff away.

689
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 3: Well there's a case right there, thievery, Yes, yeah, she's sealing.

690
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 1: From you, bringing up with the landlord. Here you go,

691
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 1: So I try and keep it all with me. Lately,

692
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 1: I don't even let my keys be out of my room.

693
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 1: If someone has any advice that could help me get

694
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 1: out of the lease, or even just how to make

695
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: it more manageable until I can leave after the years up,

696
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 1: it would be greatly preciated.

697
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 2: So what would you say to codin.

698
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 3: I would document any sort of fevery, yes, because I think,

699
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 3: you know, if you're talking about potentially criminal activity, you

700
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 3: might have a case to get her removed. I haven't

701
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 3: personally had a situation where it's like I've never had

702
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 3: a roommate this terrible. Yeah, but I would look into

703
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: you know, first of all, you're still pretty young. You're

704
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 3: right out of high school, right. I would lean on

705
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 3: your family here if you can. I'm not sure, you know,

706
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 3: if they're a positive force in your life, but wherever

707
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 3: your positive support system lies, lean on them for advice

708
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 3: and maybe, you know, because lawyers can be really expensive,

709
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: so I don't know. Yeah, I would definitely browse, you

710
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 3: know more. There's got to be some forums out there

711
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 3: maybe point you in the right direction in terms of

712
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 3: what's available to you options wise.

713
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 1: Yes, I think some advice that has been given in

714
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: like past stories about roommates is just like document everything,

715
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 1: like straight up, like talk about what they're taking from you,

716
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 1: what they're leaving around the house, how much people are

717
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 1: coming over?

718
00:31:58,240 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? How what she says about

719
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 2: you bringing people over, and then see if you can

720
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 2: bring it up with the landlord.

721
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 3: That is the end of that story and the end

722
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 3: of this episode.

723
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 2: Wow, would you look at that?

724
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 3: So if you love us, make sure you subscribe. We

725
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 3: love you and we'll see it tomorrow. My fiance ignored

726
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 3: her son's birthday wishes, so I spoke up for him.

727
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 4: Mama, what you doing?

728
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 3: We love that. My fiance twenty nine female, and I

729
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 3: twenty eight male, have been together for two years. For

730
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 3: the most part, things are really good. She has a son,

731
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 3: eight male, from a previous relationship and the dad isn't

732
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 3: involved together. We're our own little family unit. By the way,

733
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 3: this comes from user doghouse Rock on the r slash

734
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 3: Okay storytime subreddit. So the issue is over the sun's

735
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 3: recent birthday party. He's having trouble in school and has

736
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 3: been made a target. My fiance and I have both

737
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 3: talked to the school. They gave the same lip service.

738
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 3: I suggested changing schools, but my fiance says, no schools

739
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 3: is perfect. The Sun wanted a small birthday party, nothing major.

740
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 3: He just wanted to spend the day with us at

741
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 3: a part. My fiance instead made him invite his entire

742
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 3: class and planned a big day. Not a single child came,

743
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 3: never mind, it was just us with trays of food

744
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 3: and a bunch of birthday decorations. Waiting was the worst part. No, Mom,

745
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 3: you set him up for failure. No, He's had some

746
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 3: rough days, but I've never seen him so down. He

747
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 3: was humiliated. It bothered me, and I felt something needed

748
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 3: to be said. My fiance and I had a talk

749
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 3: that night, and I stated that I thought we should

750
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 3: have listened to what the son actually wanted instead of

751
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 3: pushing a big party. She believed that I should be

752
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 3: supporting her and said it's not my place to interfere

753
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 3: with matters involving her son. There was an emphasis on

754
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 3: quote unquote her son. Our talk turned into a big argument.

755
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 3: Her comment was a blow. I realized I'm not the

756
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,000
Speaker 3: bio dad, but I'm the constant male figure in his life.

757
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 3: We've grown close. I'm the one who has those serious

758
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 3: talks with him. I'm someone he asks for advice, who

759
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 3: drops him off at school and picks him up. I

760
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 3: help him with homework, I engage in his interests. I

761
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 3: show up on outings, etc. I might not be his

762
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 3: bio dad, but I don't treat him like some uninvolved bystander.

763
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 3: My fiance was always popular in school. She doesn't relate

764
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,280
Speaker 3: to him. I know what it's like to be unwanted

765
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,240
Speaker 3: in a room. I know what it's like to hate

766
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 3: being in the school hall. My fiance just believes he

767
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 3: needs to try harder to assert himself. There's still some

768
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 3: tension between my fiance and myself. Thanksgiving was awkward, which

769
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 3: is ironic since it's supposed to be about thankfulness. The

770
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 3: son also started to notice the rift and asked about it. Oh,

771
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 3: that is a very I mean, emotionally intelligent eight year old.

772
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 4: I was gonna say this, eyar old definitely knows how

773
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 4: to communicate.

774
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 3: Maybe not intelligent, but aware.

775
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 4: No, Yeah, this eight year old knows how to communicate

776
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 4: some stuff which is very mature, which.

777
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,399
Speaker 3: Is probably why all of the other eight year olds

778
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 3: in his class don't like him because he understands how

779
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 3: to be emotionally mature and they're all just a bunch

780
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 3: of eight year olds. Feels I overstepped I feel differently.

781
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole?

782
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 4: No?

783
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,280
Speaker 3: No, no top comment, not the a hole? Your fiance

784
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 3: completely overlooked what her son wanted and made it worse

785
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 3: for him. That poor child. His heart must have broken

786
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 3: so much when no one showed up. What was she thinking?

787
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 3: She knew what he was going through and still went

788
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 3: ahead with her wishes. I don't care if she was

789
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 3: popular in school. Her son is different and she needs

790
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 3: to realize that before she pushes more of her maronic

791
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 3: ideas on him. And I hate the fact that she

792
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,879
Speaker 3: used the quote unquote her son card. What are you? Then?

793
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but she's completely unreasonable. If you do not

794
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 3: get to have any opinions about her son, then why

795
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 3: is she okay with you being a father figure to him.

796
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 3: My opinion is that she realized she effed up, and

797
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 3: now she's trying to save face, and that sucks because

798
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 3: she's proving to be quite immature. She should have accepted

799
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 3: the fact that she was in the wrong instead of

800
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 3: challenging your position in the boy's life. Poor boy. I

801
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 3: feel so bad for him. Another comment says, not the

802
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,800
Speaker 3: a hole by inviting the class. I hope she's aware

803
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 3: that she just opened her son up to more ridicule

804
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 3: and tormenting. Everyone will know that nobody can. I don't

805
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 3: know what she's thinking. You have every right to speak

806
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 3: up for him, and she should be thankful that you

807
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 3: want to. Yes this very well, maybe because she was

808
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 3: popular and her son isn't and she doesn't ask well.

809
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 3: I feel like this is also one of like you know,

810
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 3: might be coming from a good place but.

811
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 4: Tried, but it wasn't the right thing to do. If

812
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 4: your child voiced what they wanted for their freaking birthday,

813
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,880
Speaker 4: and that's what they wanted, you got to respect their

814
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 4: birthday wishes and not change it.

815
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 3: Up, especially if it sounds like this kid is relatively

816
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 3: I mean emotionally mature enough to notice a rift between partners.

817
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 3: When I was eight, I wasn't noticing a rift between anybody.

818
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 4: But also the son also realized like, no, I don't

819
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,360
Speaker 4: want to invite anyone. No, he didn't bring up anyone.

820
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone likes him.

821
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 4: It doesn't like it.

822
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't like them either, Yeah, because they don't

823
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 3: like him. No, you got just strong arm your kid

824
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 3: into becoming like an idealized version of him that you

825
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 3: have in your head that relates to your experience when

826
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 3: you were a child.

827
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 4: That's why I sided with OP where it's like, maybe

828
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,680
Speaker 4: we should just switch schools start fresh.

829
00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 3: Could be a good idea, and the mom didn't want

830
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 3: to do that. Reply from Ope says that she talks

831
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,759
Speaker 3: about how she had the big birthday parties, in how

832
00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 3: her house was the house and all this stuff her

833
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 3: and her friends did. I try to get her to

834
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,240
Speaker 3: see that his perspective is different from hers. The parties

835
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,760
Speaker 3: and stuff are what she wanted, it's not what he wants.

836
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 3: Dropping him off at school that day, knowing he was

837
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,720
Speaker 3: now going to have to face those kids after getting ghosted,

838
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 3: was particularly rough. I don't think she relates to the

839
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 3: struggle and feels if he tries harder, everything will just

840
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 3: simply click into place. I don't think he needs to

841
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 3: try any harder. He's a good kid and considers others.

842
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 3: And we do have an update, hopefully it involves him

843
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,880
Speaker 3: changing schools like the dad suggested.

844
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,439
Speaker 4: Or maybe a friend. I don't know. I hope.

845
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,720
Speaker 3: So thanks everyone for the input. The outside perspectives helped

846
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,280
Speaker 3: me male twenty eight tackle this situation with my fiance

847
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: twenty nine female. Things were still rocky between us. We've

848
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 3: had fights, but we're usually able to communicate. This issue

849
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 3: was different. We both felt strongly about our stances with

850
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 3: her son ate male. The son noticed the rift and

851
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 3: took it as we were disappointed in him after the

852
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 3: birthday party, no wow, no, a great job though talking

853
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 3: to him and not letting that go unchecked. I reassured

854
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 3: him that nothing was his fault. My fiance usually leaves

855
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 3: these kinds of talks to me because she says that

856
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 3: I'm better with the emotional stuff. Yeah, sounds like it.

857
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,040
Speaker 3: I wasn't sorry for speaking up. He was humiliated, and

858
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 3: it happened because of him being forced into a party

859
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:21,359
Speaker 3: he never wanted. My fiance and I arranged to talk

860
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 3: while he was at school. She felt we needed to

861
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 3: hash things out too. It was my hope that we

862
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 3: could work towards a solution. We both started off apologizing

863
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,759
Speaker 3: for contributing to the fight and letting it drag out.

864
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 3: I told her that I was hurt by how dismissive

865
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,240
Speaker 3: she was of me and how I needed to keep

866
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 3: out of issues with the son. She's never pulled that

867
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 3: card before. She wanted me to have a presence with him.

868
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 3: She said that she spoke out of anger and didn't

869
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 3: mean any of it. She felt judged and took everything

870
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 3: she was holding in out on me. I expressed that

871
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 3: her son needs an advocate and he sometimes struggles speaking

872
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 3: up because he wants her approval. This was something we

873
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 3: discussed before. She admits pushing a party was wrong. She

874
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:00,359
Speaker 3: said that she loves the role I take with her son,

875
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 3: but feels that he and I connect in a way

876
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 3: that they don't and that's hard for her, which I

877
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 3: guess is true. But it's not like this is your partner.

878
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 3: You should be wanting that.

879
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 4: You should support that. You're like, oh, their dad and

880
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 4: dad and son.

881
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 3: Oh piece fiance, just take notes, don't get jealous.

882
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, learn you should support that.

883
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 3: I tried reassuring her that she's his mom and no

884
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 3: other bond could possibly negate that she's one of the

885
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,239
Speaker 3: only people he wanted to spend his day with in

886
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 3: the first place. I'm here to support both of them,

887
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 3: but that doesn't mean agreeing with her on everything. I

888
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 3: feel chasing popularity will only be trouble as he gets older.

889
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,879
Speaker 3: Something that was recommended on here was therapy. I thought

890
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 3: it would be good for us. She wasn't entirely closed

891
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 3: to the idea, but she is hesitant about the notion

892
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 3: of therapy. The son will be changing schools. Let's good.

893
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 4: That's the that's the refresheral we needed.

894
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 3: It sounds like it would be good and eight, you know,

895
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 3: eight is an age where it's like, yeah, you can

896
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 3: do this given everything that we know. It's a good idea.

897
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 4: That's a good palate cleanser, good good.

898
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 3: We're also looking into clubs for him. He has a

899
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 3: talent for drawing. I'm honestly impressed every time. I'm encouraging

900
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 3: my fiance to embrace his creative side.

901
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 4: I love Op. That's Guffy's such a good wop.

902
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 3: He's a real father for everybody to I'm taking notes. Yeah,

903
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,239
Speaker 3: I believe my fiance means well and wants the best

904
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 3: for the sun, but I feel she has to be

905
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,719
Speaker 3: more receptive of what he's telling her. He may never

906
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 3: be popular, most kids aren't. It doesn't mean he's doing

907
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 3: something wrong. And by the way, I'd never say you're

908
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 3: doing something wrong. If you joined us every weekday at

909
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 3: three pm PST. When we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok,

910
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 3: and Twitch, all you gotta do is tap our profile

911
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 3: and you're in easy. But before you go check if

912
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 3: we're live, we're gonna finish this story. I think we've

913
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 3: consolidated our thoughts pretty well so far.

914
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 4: Honestly, I'm not even saying that op op. He's doing

915
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 4: all the speaking for us. He's literally just like nailing

916
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 4: the hammer on the head every single time. He's like, oh,

917
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 4: he got to do does it? Does it? He's voicing

918
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 4: what he needs to be voiced, and I appreciate it.

919
00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 4: He's like therapy, Yeah, we'll do therapy. We try it.

920
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 4: I support my son son, but I support my son

921
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 4: in what he wants. I need to voice my opinion

922
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 4: because I'm an adult here.

923
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 3: Hopefully he'll become the full fledged stepdad and then the

924
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,839
Speaker 3: son will. That's what then further take out.

925
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,479
Speaker 4: Which is maybe it's so hard. It's because the mom

926
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 4: has never seen that maybe that father figure or that

927
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 4: fatherhood with her son. Maybe it's just strange and different

928
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 4: for her that she doesn't understand it and how to

929
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 4: deal with it because it's only been her and the son.

930
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 3: She seems like someone who might have a pretty narrow

931
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 3: minded perspective in terms of like being able to get

932
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 3: out of her own head, because I don't think she's

933
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 3: doing it maliciously, but it's like she's probably just thinking, oh, well,

934
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 3: this will make him better. But you need to be

935
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 3: able to just like accept who your son is.

936
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 4: Your child nonetheless, and he's still eight, so he's not

937
00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,760
Speaker 4: fully formed.

938
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,240
Speaker 3: Kids and people in general can be cruel. I even

939
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 3: told her if she and I had gone to school together,

940
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 3: her friends probably would have made fun of me. The

941
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 3: son's experience is his, he'll come into his own. Overall,

942
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 3: we did better talking instead of going at each other,

943
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 3: which is better for everyone involved. I'm still going to

944
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 3: speak up for the son. When I was his age,

945
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 3: there were times when I wish someone would speak up

946
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: for me. Thanks again for everyone for the support. I

947
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 3: really appreciate it. And that is the end of that story.

948
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 4: Again, like I said, the opee hammering it on the

949
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 4: head every single time, Yep, we don't even like.

950
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 3: That one thousand oh pe great job, but that's the

951
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 3: end of that story. Now we're gonna move on to

952
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 3: the next one.

953
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 4: See the next one.

954
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 3: My birthday was never celebrated properly, even by my husband.

955
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 4: Well you know what, op, we'll sing Happy birthday to

956
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 4: you real quick. Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you.

957
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 4: Have birthday, Yeah, have birthday to you. Wow.

958
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 3: My husband and his family make a big deal out

959
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 3: of birthdays and being a December baby, my birthday is

960
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 3: a nuisance and an inconvenience. They do these quote unquote

961
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 3: birthday wishes, which is basically where anything you want is

962
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 3: a yes. I hate it because it feels like a

963
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,959
Speaker 3: guilt trip to the receiver. By the way, this comes

964
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,760
Speaker 3: from user four twenty ds wedding on the r slash. Okay, storytime,

965
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,240
Speaker 3: so I bread it so. Growing up, I was always

966
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,760
Speaker 3: gifted money from my immediate family, with the idea behind

967
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,839
Speaker 3: it being look, you have birthday money, you can get

968
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:05,479
Speaker 3: Christmas gifts for other people. I have very few early

969
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,640
Speaker 3: childhood memories, but one I remember was getting ten dollars

970
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 3: for my tenth birthday going to the store to buy

971
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 3: my father handkerchiefs and socks for Christmas. The total was

972
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,359
Speaker 3: ten dollars and ten cents. I was told I had

973
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 3: to work off the ten cents later and I paid

974
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,800
Speaker 3: for my purchase with the ten dollar bill with felis

975
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 3: gumplanos miha written on it. The cashier started a conversation

976
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 3: with me, asking if this was my birthday money and

977
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 3: why I was spending it on something obviously not for me,

978
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 3: and I told her that my birthday wasn't as important

979
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 3: as Christmas, and that's when my Nana started yelling at

980
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 3: her in Spanish. The woman kept pointing at me, pointing

981
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 3: at the toy section in the candy area, at the checkout,

982
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,360
Speaker 3: and then back at the socks. I could never understand

983
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 3: my nana when she spoke Spanish fast, but I gathered

984
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,239
Speaker 3: that the cashier was telling her that a child should

985
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 3: spend her birthday money on herself. Fast forward to twenty

986
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 3: twenty four and turning forty four years old, and I

987
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 3: don't even want to try anymore. My husband's heart is

988
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 3: in the right place, but his actions just don't match.

989
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 3: All week he kept talking about my birthday weekend and

990
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,479
Speaker 3: how we are going to celebrate me or do things

991
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,439
Speaker 3: I wanted to do all weekend, but apparently I had

992
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 3: to plan it all, all of it. He had no

993
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 3: plans for the weekend at all. Saturday morning, we went

994
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 3: to a bar where our friend is the head chef,

995
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 3: and ended up costing fifty dollars for two coffees and

996
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 3: each of our meals. I saved one hundred dollars for

997
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 3: myself for my birthday and the husband saved nothing. Okay,

998
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,080
Speaker 3: no big deal, We've still got the day to ourselves.

999
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 3: The next place we end up going is the disc

1000
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 3: golf shop he's been wanting to go to for a while.

1001
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 3: Everyone watching take notes, easey, this is not how you

1002
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 3: do this. This is not how this works. I don't

1003
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 3: play disc golf. By the way, we don't buy him

1004
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 3: anything because we spent fifty dollars on breakfast. Otherwise he

1005
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 3: would have wanted to drop forty dollars on a disc.

1006
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 3: Where to next he wants to hit a game stop

1007
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 3: or another used shop. At the game store, he basically

1008
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,160
Speaker 3: tells me, I'm buying myself a new controller for my

1009
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 3: switch because the broke controller I use is four years

1010
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 3: old and experiencing stick drift. I don't want to spend

1011
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 3: money on a new controller because I can just use

1012
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 3: the Joycon ones. But he's angry and insisted I get

1013
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 3: a new one. He'd be more willing to play games

1014
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 3: with me on my switch if he could use a

1015
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,280
Speaker 3: bro controller too. Again, I didn't want to spend money

1016
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 3: on it, but he insisted I had to get myself

1017
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 3: something for my birthday.

1018
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:19,479
Speaker 4: Okay, we all know about that stick trip of toe.

1019
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,719
Speaker 4: Clearly Opie doesn't even care about play. I'm joking the

1020
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 4: husband should just buy it himself. No, but we do

1021
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 4: know about the stick drip. We know all about it.

1022
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 3: We do know about the stick trip.

1023
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 4: If you know about the stick drift, you know, stop.

1024
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 3: Taking her two places that you like on her birthday

1025
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 3: to spend her money. What is wrong with you?

1026
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 4: It's so easy to not do that.

1027
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 3: We are now sitting with twenty dollars left for my

1028
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 3: birthday weekend, and the one thing I want to do

1029
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,840
Speaker 3: is have dim sum for Sunday brunch, nice, which we

1030
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 3: can now no longer afore not nice. He offers to

1031
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 3: stop and get nice coffee, which I say no to

1032
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 3: because it's seven dollars. He suggests getting a pre roll

1033
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 3: at the dispensary.

1034
00:45:57,719 --> 00:45:58,800
Speaker 4: How old is this guy?

1035
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 3: Are you dating a grown man? Or is this secretly

1036
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 3: a eighteen year old?

1037
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 4: In disguss he's a twenty one year old. It sounds

1038
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 4: like a twenty one year old. It sounds like just

1039
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 4: like a college like your stereotypical college junior. All right,

1040
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 4: this golf time. Time to go to game stop and

1041
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 4: then uh, let's go get a pre roll.

1042
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 3: This golf game stop in pre rolls aka my college

1043
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 3: memoir aka I'm twenty two.

1044
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,240
Speaker 4: Next thing, he's'll be like, babe, but we'll get some beers.

1045
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 3: And I say, if that's what you want, then we

1046
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 3: can get one, because it's not what I want. We

1047
00:46:28,680 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 3: have lots of stuff at home from work freebies. I

1048
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 3: tried to explain to him that we only had one

1049
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:35,800
Speaker 3: hundred dollars for my birthday and we don't get food

1050
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,399
Speaker 3: stamps for nine days, so maybe we should just get

1051
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 3: a couple of loaves of bread for lunch during this

1052
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 3: week and go home. I asked him about it, if

1053
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 3: he had any thoughts for dinner, and he said, it's

1054
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 3: your birthday. What do you want to make? Nothing? We

1055
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 3: had nothing for dinner.

1056
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:53,280
Speaker 4: What do you want to make for your birthday dinner? Brother?

1057
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 4: What are you doing?

1058
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 3: This is a tutorial on how not to be.

1059
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 4: This titorial of like following the steps of being the

1060
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 4: first partner in the history.

1061
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 3: How to not be a guide by Opie's husband fiance.

1062
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,040
Speaker 3: Are they even dating? Is this a child you have

1063
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 3: to take care?

1064
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 4: Gonna say? Oh piece, what's going on? Oh Pie's college roommate.

1065
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 3: Today is my actual birthday and I was denied three

1066
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 3: birthday wishes before six am. I'm always the person on

1067
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 3: dog duty because I'm the lightest sleeper and I'm more

1068
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 3: aware when the dogs are signaling they need to go outside.

1069
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 3: Shortly after midnight, they wanted to go out. I had

1070
00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,319
Speaker 3: already been in bed for ninety plus minutes and my

1071
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,120
Speaker 3: husband just decided to go to bed, which woke up

1072
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 3: the dogs in the first place, and they were whining

1073
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 3: and signaling they needed to go out. When they made

1074
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 3: noise and he ignored them. I asked, so I can

1075
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,760
Speaker 3: start using my wishes now. He got upset and grumbled

1076
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 3: about needing to find a shirt, so I got it

1077
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 3: out of bed and did it. He was asleep by

1078
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 3: the time I got them back inside. Around three am,

1079
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 3: there was a noise outside and I asked again if

1080
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 3: he'd handle looking at it or taking the dogs out,

1081
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,400
Speaker 3: and asked to use one of my forty four wishes

1082
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,240
Speaker 3: and he grumbled. At the same time, the dogs went crazy,

1083
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 3: so I took them out. Just after six, the dog

1084
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 3: started to signal to go out, which is normal wake

1085
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:04,680
Speaker 3: up time, and I said, from under the covers, can

1086
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,560
Speaker 3: I please at least try to sleep in on my birthday?

1087
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 3: And he totally lost his crap. He huffs and puffs

1088
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 3: and gets out of bed and takes the dogs out,

1089
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 3: slamming all the doors as he goes, and when he

1090
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,560
Speaker 3: comes back inside, he says, well, I'm efing awake now,

1091
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 3: so sleep bed and leaves the bedroom. I'm breaking up

1092
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:20,959
Speaker 3: with this guy.

1093
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,360
Speaker 4: Follow these steps if you just want to lose your partner.

1094
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 3: I'm breaking up with this guy that day. The fundamental

1095
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 3: lack of respect there is so vast that I refuse

1096
00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 3: to participate in that relationship.

1097
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 4: If I'm op, I haven't heard anything positive from this

1098
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 4: partner one bit, not one positive thing.

1099
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 3: I tried to get up to offer to make him coffee,

1100
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 3: but he tells me to go back to bed. Then

1101
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,720
Speaker 3: I reminded him that we don't have sugar for the coffee,

1102
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 3: and he told me not to worry about it, and

1103
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 3: he was going to go to the store for like

1104
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 3: zero point zero one seconds. I thought maybe he'd come

1105
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 3: home with something for me from the store, But all

1106
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 3: he did was get a coffee at the gas station

1107
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 3: and a honey bun for himself.

1108
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,880
Speaker 4: Again, and follow these steps if you just want to

1109
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 4: lose your partner.

1110
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 3: But you know what's even better than bad gas station

1111
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 3: coffee and a honey bun that will clog your arteries?

1112
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 4: That sounds pretty good.

1113
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,640
Speaker 3: Joining our live stream every weekday at three pm PST.

1114
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,840
Speaker 3: When we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch.

1115
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 3: All you gotta do is tap on our profile and

1116
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,399
Speaker 3: you're in the live But we do have a little

1117
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 3: bit more story here. I think we've made it perfectly clear.

1118
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 3: Who's it fault here? Oh one billion? Though I want

1119
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 3: to maybe throughout there as a theory, OPI mentioned being

1120
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 3: on food stamps. I wonder if this relationship has slipped

1121
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 3: into the realm of sort of financial codependence where they

1122
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 3: both are living in a situation where without each other's

1123
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 3: income supporting each other, they would be like really in

1124
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 3: a bad spot.

1125
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 4: I don't know, I don't know, but this is not

1126
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,560
Speaker 4: somebody I want to be with remotely exactly. This is

1127
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,839
Speaker 4: a one day and this is OP special day. Can

1128
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:55,799
Speaker 4: you imagine just a normal day of the life.

1129
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 3: God mean, it's probably the exact same, probably worse. And

1130
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,280
Speaker 3: this is why OP does everything, because if OPI asks

1131
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 3: her husband to take the dog out, he goes, oh, fie,

1132
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 3: I won't even have a shirt on. If she wants

1133
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 3: to go do something for her own birthday, He's still like,

1134
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,120
Speaker 3: let's go to GameStop, Let's go to the disc golf story.

1135
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 4: It's your birthday. It is your birthday Monday. You have

1136
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 4: one hundred dollars, let's spend it on stuff I want.

1137
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,839
Speaker 3: I also have a conspiracy theory that Op's not forty four.

1138
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:18,360
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1139
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 3: Sometimes we get people that like anonymize their ages, and

1140
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 3: I just feel like, well, maybe Op's forty four and

1141
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 3: their partner's like we younger who I don't know. I

1142
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 3: don't know the partner's age.

1143
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 4: We don't want to assume or jump to that confusion.

1144
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 3: So maybe let's not It.

1145
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:33,879
Speaker 4: Does sound like OP is just dating twenty year old.

1146
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, if this is a grown man, this is a

1147
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 3: man child, just like the Dictionary definition of a man child.

1148
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 3: So to finish the story, I don't keep seeing the

1149
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 3: point in trying to celebrate me on my birthday. I

1150
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 3: haven't even mentioned a cake or candles, or even a

1151
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,799
Speaker 3: gift I didn't have to pick and pay for myself,

1152
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 3: because what's the point. Would I be the a hole

1153
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 3: if I just told him not to worry about my

1154
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 3: birthday anymore? My mom passed when I was thirty one,

1155
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 3: and she was the only only one who ever seemed

1156
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 3: to care about it. I don't know, I just feel

1157
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 3: like an a hole because I've never seen a reason

1158
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 3: to feel like my birthday is important.

1159
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:10,800
Speaker 4: Stop that. Stop that. I don't like that that idea

1160
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 4: right there. No, you deserve to be celebrated. It is

1161
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 4: your birthday, you know.

1162
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,680
Speaker 3: I heard recently that that is actually a trauma response.

1163
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:21,879
Speaker 3: Yeah and not, which makes sense because I didn't want

1164
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:23,919
Speaker 3: anything to do with my birthday for a long time.

1165
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,040
Speaker 4: I'm also one of those people who I personally don't

1166
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 4: like my birthday.

1167
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've had a lot of bad things happen to

1168
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 3: me on my birthday, so it's just turned into I

1169
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:35,919
Speaker 3: avoid my birthday. But I'm coming out of it now.

1170
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:39,720
Speaker 3: But Op, you're worth every single day. It is worth

1171
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:43,160
Speaker 3: celebrating with you around. Yeah, and especially the day you

1172
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 3: were shot, Like a cannonball out of your mother. Basically,

1173
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 3: what I'm trying to say is, OPI, your birthday's worth it.

1174
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 3: You deserve that You're better than this guy. And like

1175
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 3: I said, if there is financial circumstances notwithstanding a way

1176
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,120
Speaker 3: for you to get out, now do it. And if

1177
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 3: the finances are preventing you, it is time to either.

1178
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,160
Speaker 3: You gotta grind. You need to get out for me

1179
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 3: to get away to this guy is nothing but a

1180
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 3: dead weight to you.

1181
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 4: You are not the a hole you need to voice.

1182
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 4: You deserve to be celebrated. It's your day. You deserve

1183
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 4: so much more, at least a cake, or at least

1184
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,479
Speaker 4: some love, at least something. This guy I hadn't seen

1185
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,399
Speaker 4: one positive thing from this partner of yours. No, that's

1186
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 4: the one thing that sticks out to me. If if

1187
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:26,879
Speaker 4: it's your birthday or it's the holidays, he hasn't done

1188
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 4: a single thing for you.

1189
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 3: He's just stinky trash. We're gonna put him in a

1190
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 3: big chebbuchet and fling him into the sun, and then

1191
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 3: he won't be a problem for anyone anymore except for

1192
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 3: the sun. That is the end of that story. We

1193
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:41,719
Speaker 3: have another one for you, though, We have another one

1194
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 3: coming right out. My husband accused me of cheating with

1195
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 3: my brother in law, so I kicked him out.

1196
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 4: The brother in law or the husband.

1197
00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 3: I twenty six female, have been married to my husband,

1198
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 3: twenty seven male for a year. I dated him for

1199
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 3: five years and finally got married to him last year.

1200
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 3: He's always been perfect for me and I seen we

1201
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 3: cannot understand why he is acting like this all of

1202
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 3: a sudden and so suspicious about me and my brother

1203
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 3: in law. By the way, this comes from user No

1204
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 3: Heart thirty eight, twenty seven on the r slash Okay Storytime.

1205
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 3: So how about it. I didn't even know that my

1206
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,760
Speaker 3: husband was insecure about my relationship with my brother in law.

1207
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 3: I got to know about it from my brother in law,

1208
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,319
Speaker 3: and I don't like this at all. I also don't

1209
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,640
Speaker 3: want to ruin my perfect marriage over some misunderstanding, but

1210
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 3: I am really mad at my husband for not trusting me.

1211
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 3: I always had a great relationship with my brother in law.

1212
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:33,960
Speaker 3: He's three years younger than me, and ever since my

1213
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 3: husband introduced me to his family, I and my brother

1214
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:39,279
Speaker 3: in law got along. I think of him as my

1215
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 3: younger brother. It's kind of funny that I get along

1216
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 3: with him more than my own brothers, and we even

1217
00:53:44,040 --> 00:53:46,600
Speaker 3: joke about it. My brother in law is very frank

1218
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 3: with me and so am I. He often jokes and

1219
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 3: makes me laugh in front of our family or if

1220
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,439
Speaker 3: we spend time alone, and he always helps me, which

1221
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 3: is why we are so dang close to each other

1222
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 3: in the first place. Like seven months ago, when I

1223
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:02,839
Speaker 3: was sick, my husband wasn't present to help me as

1224
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 3: he was in a different city because of his new job.

1225
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 3: It was my brother in law who ended up helping

1226
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 3: me and stayed with me for a week. He helped

1227
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 3: me with chores, cooking, laundry. Even when I asked him

1228
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,800
Speaker 3: to not let me bother him, he just said, Sis,

1229
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 3: it's my responsibility to help you and take care of you.

1230
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 3: In my brother's absence. Three months ago, though my brother

1231
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:25,160
Speaker 3: in law became distant. Usually my brother in law would

1232
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 3: check up on me and call every few days, but

1233
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 3: he got distant. He would come over for dinner and

1234
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 3: spend time with me when I'm alone, but he stopped.

1235
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 3: I thought maybe he's going through something, so I asked him,

1236
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,360
Speaker 3: but he just brushed it off. He started avoiding me

1237
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:40,279
Speaker 3: more and more and stopped visiting me entirely, and I

1238
00:54:40,320 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 3: started growing anxious, so I visited him four days ago.

1239
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:46,040
Speaker 3: I wanted to know the reason, and after I visited

1240
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 3: him and pressured him, he told me that his brother

1241
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,760
Speaker 3: asked him to stay away from me, as he doesn't

1242
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,919
Speaker 3: like the fact that we're so close, especially when he's

1243
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,040
Speaker 3: not around, and he finds our close bond disgusting.

1244
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,320
Speaker 4: Somebody's insecure, somebody's insecure.

1245
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 3: I hugged him and said I will talk to my

1246
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:06,759
Speaker 3: husband and comforted him because I think he's just as

1247
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 3: hurt as I am. My husband is accusing his own

1248
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:12,239
Speaker 3: brother and his wife, and it's disgusting. I love both

1249
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 3: of these men. The only difference is I love my

1250
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:17,959
Speaker 3: husband romantically and s vasily, and I love my brother

1251
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 3: in law because I think of him as my own brother. Anyway,

1252
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 3: I confronted my husband and he kept telling me and

1253
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,800
Speaker 3: explaining himself how he wanted to hide it from me,

1254
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 3: and how he thinks that me being close to my

1255
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 3: brother in law is icky and people will judge us,

1256
00:55:31,880 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 3: et cetera, et cetera. I said, f those who think

1257
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 3: about us like this, and I don't care. I will

1258
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 3: continue to be close to my brother in law, and

1259
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 3: I am disappointed that you have so little trust in

1260
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:45,480
Speaker 3: me and your own brother. He said that he's sorry.

1261
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,400
Speaker 3: I told him to get out and do not return

1262
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 3: until you tell him sorry. My husband left, but he

1263
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 3: constantly calls me and texts me. I reply to him

1264
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 3: and ask him how he's doing. But I didn't tell

1265
00:55:57,560 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 3: him to come back. Even though he has asked me

1266
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 3: a lot. I'm still angry at him for how he's thinking.

1267
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 3: So am I the a hole for kicking my husband out?

1268
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 3: I don't like that I kicked my husband out, but

1269
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,360
Speaker 3: I am angry and hate the way he's thinking. I

1270
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,520
Speaker 3: don't know if you're the a hole. You might maybe

1271
00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 3: a little for kicking him out, but I think the

1272
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 3: main point is that by kicking him out, you're not

1273
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 3: really helping yourself. You're just kind of escalating the situation.

1274
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 4: And it's going to make things get worse before it

1275
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 4: gets better.

1276
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 3: So we do have some relevant comments. Your brother in

1277
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 3: law isn't acting like a brother, he's acting like a boyfriend.

1278
00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 3: He comforts you when your husband is away, he helps

1279
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 3: you out when you're alone, and that's why you're so

1280
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,399
Speaker 3: dang close. He took care of you for a week

1281
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,959
Speaker 3: and stayed at your house while doing so. He says

1282
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 3: he has to act this way due to your husband

1283
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 3: being absent, and you're acting like a girlfriend. You provided

1284
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 3: physical comfort to this man right after he told you

1285
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,600
Speaker 3: your husband wasn't okay with it. You're the ahle oh,

1286
00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 3: he responds to this. F No, my brother in law

1287
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 3: isn't acting like a boyfriend, and I'm not acting like

1288
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:58,839
Speaker 3: his girlfriend. I am married, and my brother in law

1289
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 3: looks out for me when my my husband isn't present

1290
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,239
Speaker 3: to help me. Why is it so bad for me

1291
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 3: to share a roof with my brother in law. I

1292
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 3: am instead very happy that my husband's family is so

1293
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 3: accepting and helpful to me. I was sick, so he

1294
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 3: stayed with me. I'm sure if my husband's parents know

1295
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 3: about this, they will back us up instead of thinking

1296
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 3: about this disgusting crap. Also, no, I didn't provide physical

1297
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,680
Speaker 3: comfort to my brother in law. I gave him a hug,

1298
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 3: which is I have been doing for years. I'm not

1299
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 3: ashamed of hugging him alone or in front of everyone else,

1300
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:31,720
Speaker 3: because I think of him as my brother. We have

1301
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 3: another comment. I would say your reaction was a little extreme. Obviously,

1302
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 3: This is an insecurity with your husband, but you're treating

1303
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:40,840
Speaker 3: it like he's the one that cheated by having those

1304
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 3: valid thoughts. He finally became honest with you, and you

1305
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,480
Speaker 3: responded by kicking him out. It will hinder your communication

1306
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 3: going forward. OHP does say yes, I agree. My reaction

1307
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 3: was extreme because I am extremely effing disappointed that my

1308
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 3: husband doesn't trust me. He basically accused me of having

1309
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 3: an affair, which is not good at all in marriage,

1310
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 3: and I am extremely angry with him. He became honest

1311
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 3: to me. Why didn't he just communicate with me about

1312
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 3: his insecurities? He told me after I confronted him. If

1313
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 3: I didn't talk to my brother in law, I would

1314
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 3: have never known that my husband doesn't trust me. Do

1315
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:11,600
Speaker 3: I not have the right to be angry at my

1316
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:14,720
Speaker 3: husband after I found out he doesn't trust me and

1317
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 3: accuses me of sleeping with my brother in law? We

1318
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 3: do have an update I posted two days ago and

1319
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 3: realized that I truly effed up by kicking him out

1320
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 3: and dismissing his concern with my brother in law. For

1321
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:27,600
Speaker 3: those who are asking me if I'm in brother in

1322
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 3: law's sheets or I got the hots for him, I don't,

1323
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 3: and it's disgusting. I truly think of him as my

1324
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 3: younger brother and always thought of him as one. I

1325
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 3: would never cheat on my husband, and I kicked him

1326
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 3: out of his house because I was pissed at him

1327
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 3: for accusing me of having an affair with his own brother.

1328
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 3: My husband indirectly accused me of having said affair, and

1329
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 3: there's no way he can justify it. If my brother

1330
00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 3: in law or my brother ever hinted or asked me

1331
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 3: that he wants to be with me, I would literally

1332
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:57,360
Speaker 3: slap and tell everyone in our family, especially my husband,

1333
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 3: and avoid him. But after all these years, I know

1334
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 3: that my brother in law thinks of me as his

1335
00:59:02,440 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 3: sister and I adore him. He stayed with me and

1336
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 3: visits me because he's concerned about me. So please stop

1337
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 3: with the disgusting dms and replies.

1338
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 4: We should get the brother in law's point of view

1339
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,320
Speaker 4: because she's speaking on behalf of the brother in law.

1340
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:14,920
Speaker 4: What if the brother in law was like, yeah, I

1341
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 4: have the huts for we.

1342
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 3: Have another story. That's just like I'm secretly in love

1343
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 3: with my sister in law.

1344
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 4: My brother is catching on.

1345
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. I asked my husband to come back and told

1346
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 3: him it's better for us to talk it out than

1347
00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,680
Speaker 3: just stay apart and become paranoid.

1348
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 2: Wow.

1349
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:32,480
Speaker 3: Yeah. My husband came back and told me that he

1350
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:34,919
Speaker 3: doesn't like how close I am with my brother in law.

1351
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:36,920
Speaker 3: He said that his friends keep telling him that he

1352
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 3: and his brother are sharing a woman and tease him.

1353
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 3: I asked him what he wants. I asked, does he

1354
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:44,720
Speaker 3: want me to stay away from his brother? He said

1355
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 3: he does. I said, then I will do it. I

1356
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:50,000
Speaker 3: will not talk to his brother as much and forget

1357
00:59:50,040 --> 00:59:52,400
Speaker 3: about treating him as my brother. I called my brother

1358
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 3: in law and told him that we should stay away

1359
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:56,520
Speaker 3: from each other and should only interact when our family

1360
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:59,080
Speaker 3: members are present and keep it minimal. He said he

1361
00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 3: is okay with it, and he's been thinking and he

1362
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 3: thinks it's not worth so much drama, and we'll keep

1363
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 3: his distance from me. My brother in law asked me

1364
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,000
Speaker 3: to pass the phone to my husband. My brother in

1365
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 3: law apologized to him and said he would stay away

1366
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,840
Speaker 3: from me and won't be as close as he was before.

1367
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 3: They talked and agreed, and now my brother in law

1368
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 3: is going to avoid me, which is better than my

1369
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:21,560
Speaker 3: husband being mad at me and avoiding me. But I

1370
01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 3: told my husband that he better not think about that

1371
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 3: I would secretly meet his brother. We were both transparent

1372
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 3: and never hid anything from you. If I'm losing my

1373
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 3: friend and my brother just because he's your brother and

1374
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:35,080
Speaker 3: you've known him for years, then I will stay away

1375
01:00:35,360 --> 01:00:39,200
Speaker 3: from all men. But don't you dare suspect me of

1376
01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 3: anything like this ever. Again. I said that he's not

1377
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 3: allowed to stay close to other women, either his friends

1378
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 3: or cousins or my cousins, because it goes both ways.

1379
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,600
Speaker 3: I stay away from his brother and cousins, and he

1380
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 3: does the same. He agreed, and he's back, and we

1381
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 3: want you back. Every weekday at three pm PST, when

1382
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:02,840
Speaker 3: we go live on YouTube, on Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch,

1383
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 3: all you have to do is tap our profile and

1384
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 3: you're in. You could even go check on that right now,

1385
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 3: but pause, because we're about to finish this story and

1386
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 3: we're going to talk really quickly about where we're at.

1387
01:01:12,440 --> 01:01:13,160
Speaker 3: I don't like.

1388
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:15,800
Speaker 4: This at all, so I'm saying it's very weird. This

1389
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 4: is not a good it's a very weird. There is

1390
01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:20,920
Speaker 4: a weird connection here. You're not seeing your point of

1391
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 4: view of your husband, right now, well.

1392
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:24,439
Speaker 3: It's more like the husband's point of view is being

1393
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,960
Speaker 3: forced where he just goes no matter what you tell me,

1394
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 3: I will always be uncomfortable with the dynamic you have

1395
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 3: with you, my brother. I've dated people with siblings, and

1396
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 3: I've had relatively serious relationships with those people. Yeah, and

1397
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 3: their siblings. It got to a point where, yeah, it

1398
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:41,880
Speaker 3: felt like they.

1399
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 4: Were part of the they're part of the family.

1400
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 3: Yes, you forge a close bond with those people.

1401
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 4: But even at this point, like it's just like I

1402
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 4: think we're around the both we're in two different sides here.

1403
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 4: I think the brother in law, I think you're spending

1404
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 4: too much time with Opie.

1405
01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:55,520
Speaker 3: I'm going to stay away from all men. I guess

1406
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 3: now we're going to stay away from all women. Yeah,

1407
01:01:57,560 --> 01:01:59,880
Speaker 3: so exactly what I said, where does it end? It doesn't,

1408
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,080
Speaker 3: And they immediately took it to all right, every single

1409
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 3: man and woman is off the table.

1410
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's where and that's why. That's why it's like,

1411
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 4: I don't agree with that.

1412
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 3: Absolutely absurd. So now things just don't feel the same

1413
01:02:10,640 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 3: to me. I feel like he accused me of sleeping

1414
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:14,880
Speaker 3: with someone else and that it was with his own

1415
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:17,840
Speaker 3: dang brother and I know my brother or a brother

1416
01:02:17,880 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 3: in law I guess wouldn't betray his brother. And even

1417
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:23,880
Speaker 3: if I'm to stay away from him, my husband would

1418
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 3: think that I'm cheating when he's not around, and I

1419
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:29,280
Speaker 3: don't feel comfortable about this. I love my husband because

1420
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 3: he's mine in every way, but I also love my

1421
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:36,040
Speaker 3: brother in law emotionally because I think entreat of him

1422
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:38,959
Speaker 3: as my brother. I have no idea if I could

1423
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:42,120
Speaker 3: have handled my situation any better, because I'm also currently

1424
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 3: angry about all of this. Here's some relevant comments before

1425
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 3: we finish the story. Illustrious Bus ninety seven eighty six says,

1426
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 3: your demands just heightened his suspicions that you will go

1427
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 3: behind his back. No, if he's still suspicious of me,

1428
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 3: then we do not trust each other and we should divorce.

1429
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 3: If I were to go behind my husband's back and

1430
01:02:58,640 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 3: sleep with his brother, why would we even tell him

1431
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 3: the truth? We can continue our quote unquote affair while

1432
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 3: my husband is away. Heck, I can even have affairs

1433
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 3: with other men when he's not around and nobody would

1434
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 3: know about it, at least not now. But me and

1435
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 3: my brother informed and kept updating my husband whenever he

1436
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 3: was around. And when he stayed with me. I think

1437
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 3: it's perfectly reasonable that to fix my marriage, I should

1438
01:03:19,680 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 3: stay away from other men and not be as close

1439
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:23,840
Speaker 3: as I am to my brother in law and he

1440
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,280
Speaker 3: does the same, which is I agree. Again, I don't

1441
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:28,720
Speaker 3: think that's reasonable. I don't think that's reasonable at all.

1442
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,200
Speaker 3: He's your brother in law, not a stranger, yeah, not

1443
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:33,760
Speaker 3: a co worker, all of those things. I would agree

1444
01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:36,919
Speaker 3: that that needs to stop. This is basically the next

1445
01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:39,520
Speaker 3: step behind your blood relative. I think it should go

1446
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:42,560
Speaker 3: both ways, and we should stop suspecting each other of

1447
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 3: all this disgusting crap.

1448
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 4: So I want to do some takeaways here. One, I'm

1449
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:49,880
Speaker 4: not happy with how the husband enacted all of this.

1450
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:52,600
Speaker 4: He was the wrong way. The statement from the brother

1451
01:03:52,720 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 4: when the husband's away is what was like a big

1452
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:57,320
Speaker 4: red flag to man like well, that stands out. I'm

1453
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:59,479
Speaker 4: kind of weird the way you worded that. I don't

1454
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:01,680
Speaker 4: like the eye for an eye. Thing like this definitely

1455
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:04,600
Speaker 4: needs to be communicated with all three parties. That's what

1456
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 4: needs to be done. The brother in law, the husband,

1457
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 4: and OP. You need to talk. Hey, we are a family.

1458
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:12,080
Speaker 4: I love you both. I love him as a brother.

1459
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:14,680
Speaker 4: I love you as my husband. That's that maybe less

1460
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:16,240
Speaker 4: than the time to see each other to make things

1461
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:19,880
Speaker 4: heal great. It's just like, ah, I don't like controlling people.

1462
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:22,280
Speaker 3: Well said, I knew that this was this was doomed

1463
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 3: the moment that, the moment that he was like, it's

1464
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 3: all men. It immediately as soon as I was like,

1465
01:04:27,360 --> 01:04:29,200
Speaker 3: if you're gonna cut off the brother, it's not gonna stop,

1466
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 3: and it immediately became literally.

1467
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 4: Everybody of the Aya was a domino effect.

1468
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,640
Speaker 3: Communication and trust in relationship two of your biggest pillars.

1469
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:38,760
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story. If you

1470
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:42,240
Speaker 3: love us, make sure you subscribe. We love you and

1471
01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 3: see you tomorrow.