Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 3: time and a terminol and gay a. We want to
Speaker 3: send you off InStyle. We want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 5: Porn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride.
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chris?
Speaker 5: Welcome to Do you need to ride? This is Karen Kilgariff.
Speaker 5: There's no Chris Fairbanks because we are going to pick
Speaker 5: him up right now at the airport. This is a legit,
Speaker 5: old school, actual, back to the old form canon version
Speaker 5: of do you need a ride? We're actually going to
Speaker 5: the Bob Hope Airport.
Speaker 1: Is this? Yes?
Speaker 6: This is it?
Speaker 1: This is it?
Speaker 6: Guys.
Speaker 1: Guys, maybe it's a little crazier than we thought.
Speaker 5: Oh, also, Steve and I just realized we got into
Speaker 5: the car. It's Oscar Sunday here in Los Angeles, which
Speaker 5: means there's no traffic anywhere. There's no one on the freeway,
Speaker 5: there's no one any anywhere.
Speaker 1: It's the greatest. It's like it's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5: Everyone's indoors trying to see the one person they know
Speaker 5: four degrees away from Kevin Bacon is going to win
Speaker 5: their prize.
Speaker 1: It was very stormy today.
Speaker 5: There was like a straight up downpour in Los Angeles,
Speaker 5: which is very rare. Oh, I wonder if it affected
Speaker 5: the red carpet cover.
Speaker 6: Did you get did you hail at your place? Hail? No,
Speaker 6: it hailed.
Speaker 1: You know what's funny. I could hear from where my
Speaker 1: house is.
Speaker 5: I could hear something going on, but it sounded like
Speaker 5: I was like, that's super loud traffic or something. And
Speaker 5: now that would make sense if it was a hailstorm,
Speaker 5: because it was like a distant, distant weather noises. All right,
Speaker 5: now we're in the we're pulling into the prime area
Speaker 5: of the Hope Airport, passing the luggage and Jet Blue Southwest.
Speaker 5: He should be somewhere right in front of us.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, there is HI. How's it going?
Speaker 6: Yeah? I mean this airport.
Speaker 1: Is the best.
Speaker 6: It's just the best. Everyone is happy, they're so convenient.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a vibe at lax and here it's just
Speaker 7: like people look at all that's hugging and kissing, and
Speaker 7: these are just the uber and lyft drivers. Oh, right,
Speaker 7: as I said it, Right as I said it, we
Speaker 7: got an aggressive honker.
Speaker 1: An aggressive lyft driver, and I.
Speaker 6: Probably shouldn't be over here. That's the shared ride area, sir.
Speaker 5: Please clear our area. Sir Chris, where are you coming from?
Speaker 7: I am right now in real time, but now when
Speaker 7: you listen to this, let's just be open that it
Speaker 7: would be.
Speaker 6: Impossible for us to you know, stream live, yes to
Speaker 6: stream life.
Speaker 7: I have just done Milwaukee and Minneapolis.
Speaker 5: How to go?
Speaker 7: And I have you know, usually I have something to
Speaker 7: complain about. I really, I've never had. All the shows
Speaker 7: were sold out. Yes, all the audiences were amazing. There
Speaker 7: wasn't one stinker. Nice uh. I only had fun. And
Speaker 7: even the booking of all these shows just fell on
Speaker 7: my lap. I didn't even have to try hard with
Speaker 7: this tour.
Speaker 6: I have no complaints. That's amazing it is, but it's
Speaker 6: not good for comedy.
Speaker 5: Oh you've joked something out to complain about it?
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, let's see. Let's see. It was kind of cold.
Speaker 1: I'm too happy.
Speaker 6: I had to buy a new jacket that I like.
Speaker 1: Was it snowing right when I left?
Speaker 5: It?
Speaker 6: Like snowed Christmas levels. Really yeah, it was.
Speaker 7: It just dumped, But I knew I'd be okay because
Speaker 7: no Ice, good visibility.
Speaker 6: Minneapolis can handle their snow.
Speaker 1: They know their shit.
Speaker 7: They probably have a heated tarmac or tarmac term a hormige.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: The show that we in Minneapolis, I was headlining, but
Speaker 7: I Michelle recorded an album in fifteen minute increments because
Speaker 7: she gets tired as MSS and gets tired on stage.
Speaker 7: But she was so sharp and funny and had great
Speaker 7: It's so fun to do stand up with someone you
Speaker 7: started with, like I have her first set memorized, and
Speaker 7: we were just hearing each other's new jokes because you
Speaker 7: never get to do stand.
Speaker 6: Up with your friends, that's right. So it was great.
Speaker 7: And all these amazing people showed up as usual and
Speaker 7: said sweet things and handed me miniature gifts and we like, what, oh,
Speaker 7: I have some in my bag just so I could share.
Speaker 7: Here's one of the best things and given to me
Speaker 7: by someone named Laurie, and it is a miniature golden
Speaker 7: microphone with a little mic scan.
Speaker 4: What all.
Speaker 7: It goes in there? It's like a little like a
Speaker 7: hip hop necklace, like a.
Speaker 5: Little almost like well, it would be like an award,
Speaker 5: except for it's very small.
Speaker 6: It feels like an award.
Speaker 7: And I gave an acceptance speech, and she gave me
Speaker 7: a scorpion in honor of the story I've told twelve times,
Speaker 7: which I just put in the middle of my bag.
Speaker 7: So I hope it's yes, it looked pretty real, I
Speaker 7: hope as guy opened it up and.
Speaker 6: Said, scorpion, that's so funny.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and little bottles, and I got some cool artwork.
Speaker 6: One girl.
Speaker 7: I wish I had the envelopes and everything in front
Speaker 7: of me, But one girl.
Speaker 6: Took a picture of her laying on the hood of
Speaker 6: her Ford Taurus like like sprawled out smoking as it's
Speaker 6: the funny and I am hanging it up.
Speaker 7: And I got a nice cross stitch Breddy stonellis nice
Speaker 7: and that work looks familiar. I bet you've you've gotten
Speaker 7: my favorite murder of cross stitch from this person.
Speaker 6: And so yeah, it was just it was just the best.
Speaker 1: You seem happy. It's good.
Speaker 7: Well, yeah, it it gives you makes you feel valid
Speaker 7: when you go do a bunch of shows. And because
Speaker 7: I took time off and when I'm just pacing around
Speaker 7: my apartment, I forget what I do for a living.
Speaker 7: Mm hmmm, and uh, it was a nice reminder that
Speaker 7: everything's going to be fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was great.
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I'm in town for a little while and
Speaker 7: then I go to Denver and that place is great.
Speaker 6: The fun is never going to stop.
Speaker 5: Denver is awesome comedically there. The community they have there
Speaker 5: is huge and cool. Yeah, it's very It just makes
Speaker 5: me think of doing the year I did a couple
Speaker 5: of years, but doing high planes and the people I
Speaker 5: met that were like people that would drive you around
Speaker 5: and it's like, I'm a comic too, and then they
Speaker 5: would tell you stuff about themselves.
Speaker 1: It was really awesome.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: One of the guys that drove me around, I'm gonna
Speaker 7: go snowboarding with him.
Speaker 6: We've become real life friends.
Speaker 5: Nice.
Speaker 7: Yes, will in Denver. In Denver, yeah, if they are
Speaker 7: being bombarded with snow. So I got a new jacket
Speaker 7: as mine gets wet fast, and I'm bringing my I'm
Speaker 7: just stopping here to water some plants and pick.
Speaker 1: Up my snowboard and then you're off.
Speaker 7: And then I'm off to another cold place. And I'd
Speaker 7: sold all these posters that I worked on. I didn't
Speaker 7: know they would these nice people and Milwaukee printed them
Speaker 7: immediately great for hardly any money. Yeah, and I pretty much.
Speaker 6: Sold them all.
Speaker 5: That's great. I know you were concerned about that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, And I don't know why all these concerns I
Speaker 7: had were unfounded.
Speaker 1: Well, you know what it is.
Speaker 5: It's things are changed and the details of going to
Speaker 5: do clubs used to be one way for a while,
Speaker 5: and now you're you have to update that information because
Speaker 5: now it's different.
Speaker 7: Yeah, the money was everything was better. I'm like, I
Speaker 7: had no compliance. Even the flights were comfortable.
Speaker 5: It's a new Chris. It is now, Chris. Do you
Speaker 5: realize today is Oscar Sunday.
Speaker 7: I did see some clips of Brad Pitt looking wonderful.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't. I don't know. You can go ahead
Speaker 6: and spoil away.
Speaker 5: Well, we've only had three or four awards given, right,
Speaker 5: Stephen Ford versus Ferrari is one two of them.
Speaker 1: To the delight of dads everywhere.
Speaker 7: Yes, Yes, to the delight of Manden's man caves, whatever
Speaker 7: you come see?
Speaker 6: Am I a real man? And I don't even know
Speaker 6: the phrase man.
Speaker 4: Dan?
Speaker 6: How the man van Deloian? Do? I'm sorry?
Speaker 4: Do you?
Speaker 7: And I'm sorry? I tore you away from the Oscars.
Speaker 7: I know you're a real Academy awardhead.
Speaker 5: I had no idea what was happening i Stephen until
Speaker 5: I was in the McDonald's start through getting a deck coke,
Speaker 5: and I was like, how.
Speaker 1: Come I'm the only one here?
Speaker 5: Everywhere I was driving tonight, which is usually jam packed
Speaker 5: with a thousand too many people, has been completely empty.
Speaker 5: And it took me until basically seeing Stephen to put
Speaker 5: it together that it's Oscar night.
Speaker 7: Okay, why did I already know? Do they tell or
Speaker 7: is it public made public who the nominees are?
Speaker 6: Yes, okay, so that's why all I.
Speaker 7: Just remember people saying Adam Sandler was snubbed, and then
Speaker 7: he made fun of it during his Spirit Award and
Speaker 7: it was pretty funny.
Speaker 6: Oh good, because he doesn't take it seriously.
Speaker 1: He's I think he might be legitimately cool.
Speaker 6: Yeah. In the little time I've been near him in
Speaker 6: the Largo green room, he.
Speaker 7: Seemed to be absolutely a genuine nice person.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think it's nice that people love that
Speaker 5: performance so much. But it was not as good as
Speaker 5: the super fans think it was.
Speaker 6: Right, It was just good. Did you like the movie?
Speaker 1: It was good.
Speaker 6: I was made. I was on the edge of my
Speaker 6: seat the whole time because I wanted to get out
Speaker 6: of it.
Speaker 5: Yes, well, but if you if you watched it another
Speaker 5: time and we may have had this conversation, ye say,
Speaker 5: special attention to music.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's horrifying, Yes it is.
Speaker 7: It is that it's kind of like the music in
Speaker 7: Punch Drunk Glove.
Speaker 6: Where it's like just tense, Yeah, like.
Speaker 7: Swift percussion and pots and pans back and like that,
Speaker 7: the kind of jazz that my mom would play while vacuuming.
Speaker 5: But also the low level sounds of bees. Just yet
Speaker 5: it's unnecessary.
Speaker 7: Everything that triggered my fears as a child. Bees and homework.
Speaker 7: And I think there was some mash theme song in there.
Speaker 1: Well that was when You're depression kicked in.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, have you read the lyrics?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, Oh that's the best.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's one of the only songs about suicide that
Speaker 5: people really latched on too.
Speaker 6: And you have you been Karen?
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you for asking.
Speaker 5: I've been good. My dad was in town. My dad
Speaker 5: had kind of like an epic stay where he came
Speaker 5: down and stayed for like four or five days. Then
Speaker 5: he went to Palm Springs with all his fireman friends
Speaker 5: for the Super Bowl and was there for five days,
Speaker 5: and then he came back to my house for a
Speaker 5: couple of days before he ended up driving home. So
Speaker 5: but I didn't know he was coming back, so I
Speaker 5: had to cancel a bunch of plans, like I was
Speaker 5: because you know, my new thing, Like I'm going to
Speaker 5: leave the house see music or whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got tickets to go see the band Luna.
Speaker 6: And I think I know who is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're from the nineties. They're they're good.
Speaker 5: If you heard them, you'd know, I mean, you'd recognize.
Speaker 6: I'm not going to make you like do karaoke.
Speaker 1: But I don't think I could. I like them enough.
Speaker 6: I guess I was going to make you.
Speaker 5: I mean, here's what's fascinating. You cannot Oh No, I
Speaker 5: wouldn't be able to because it's not they're not I
Speaker 5: don't know them that well.
Speaker 1: I just know them as a vibe.
Speaker 7: Look at that moon right, Like I love stereo lab
Speaker 7: but I could never That is a fake moon.
Speaker 1: Look at the moon is haunted.
Speaker 7: That is a Truman show. Fluorescent light moon on a soundstay.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's it's amazing. It has like fog around it. Wow,
Speaker 5: look at it. That's like almost like a Dracula moon.
Speaker 6: That's an Oscar moon.
Speaker 1: Hello, is it you I'm looking for? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: look at it.
Speaker 5: It looks like the ocean underneath it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a cloud. It's a beautiful cloud that someone
Speaker 6: could serve on if they were an angel.
Speaker 5: It was supposed to be a super moon last night.
Speaker 5: So I think this is the waxing supermoon. Did you
Speaker 5: say waxing, you know?
Speaker 1: Or maybe it's waning?
Speaker 6: Oh right, right? The waning? Oh wow? Is waxing philosophically
Speaker 6: to happen after a thing?
Speaker 5: Oh see, I just don't know which one. I think
Speaker 5: waning means going away, so it would be waning.
Speaker 7: Right, And weaning is making your child stop breast fading.
Speaker 1: That's right, which you have to do.
Speaker 4: Leave go.
Speaker 1: No one wants to look at that ship.
Speaker 6: It ruins a high school graduation.
Speaker 5: It's disgusting time, sun.
Speaker 6: I mean, if it's a baby, do it everywhere?
Speaker 1: That's yes, and it's you're right, and we even get to.
Speaker 6: Say, I mean, and I'm talking to you, Andy mcdell.
Speaker 7: That changed my sophomore year at college when she hit
Speaker 7: it right in the hop Knob Restaurant.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, I thought, were you there.
Speaker 7: I was sitting right across from her. She's a Missoula person.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right.
Speaker 7: And then uh and I saw that, but I was
Speaker 7: immature at the time, so sure I made eye contact
Speaker 7: with another man and we high five from across the room.
Speaker 7: Because yeah, because she's the pretty lady from Santamo's fire
Speaker 7: Yeah and Loril commercials mm.
Speaker 5: Hmm and still pretty. I mean she looks exactly the same.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, there's eighties. There's some tickle. Yeah, it's she does.
Speaker 7: She works weather standing, probably doesn't use Loril product.
Speaker 1: Everyone knows.
Speaker 5: Now the moon is hidden behind clouds.
Speaker 6: This is like, it's still beautiful. It's the memory of it.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 5: If there's a little glimmer, you know, it's still there.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, that's almost creepy. It's oh okay, it's just
Speaker 6: a light source.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 7: I think it's adorable that your dad hung out with
Speaker 7: its fireman friends in Paul Springs.
Speaker 6: I know they're all pals.
Speaker 1: They're all pals.
Speaker 5: There's well, you know, because they're retired and they're retired.
Speaker 1: They played Pedro together.
Speaker 5: It's a card game, okay, in groups of three and five,
Speaker 5: I think, so a whole bunch of them went down,
Speaker 5: and then they played Pedro and drank for like four days,
Speaker 5: and then watched the forty nine Ers lose in the
Speaker 5: Super Bowl sadly, but my dad he was sad because
Speaker 5: we're from San Francisco, but he liked that the Chiefs
Speaker 5: won because it's such a long time Yeah.
Speaker 6: I uh oh okay. And it's the same.
Speaker 5: Colors, right, so that's really all he's in it for
Speaker 5: his colors.
Speaker 7: I just wore a generic red Haynes shirt when I
Speaker 7: rode the train during the Super Bowl. I did watch it,
Speaker 7: though I got Hulu Live, thank you. I need to
Speaker 7: remind myself to cancel it. Yeah, it's one week trial,
Speaker 7: but great for sports, you know.
Speaker 6: I don't care.
Speaker 7: But I did have I did pack my San Francisco gear.
Speaker 5: Sure I have some, and I wore it. Yeah great, Yeah,
Speaker 5: I support them.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I bonded with the guy in front of me because
Speaker 7: he also was pretending to like sports, and then we
Speaker 7: finally admitted to each other because I noticed neither of
Speaker 7: us were watching.
Speaker 6: He was kind of reading a newspaper and it was
Speaker 6: on He's.
Speaker 7: Like, oh yep, touchdowns like we just kept saying the
Speaker 7: were a touchdown to each other.
Speaker 6: I'm like, you don't care about sports either. He totally
Speaker 6: looked like he did too.
Speaker 1: Wait where were you?
Speaker 6: I rote?
Speaker 7: I went on a train from Milwaukee to Minneapolis. There
Speaker 7: was one flight I realized I should have purchased or
Speaker 7: I thought it was like an hour and a half away,
Speaker 7: but it was more like five and a half hours away.
Speaker 7: So shit, I took a tra I had never been
Speaker 7: on a amtrak. It's like a classic way to travel.
Speaker 7: And you know, they got a food cart, beverage car,
Speaker 7: I mean, and I almost had a completely frozen hamburger,
Speaker 7: but I stopped myself because I want to live, Karen, Okay,
Speaker 7: I want to live.
Speaker 1: Do it done?
Speaker 7: I mean lived my life, continued living? Oh okay, not
Speaker 7: temporary hamburger living. Got it prolonged, that prolonged, non frozen
Speaker 7: hamburger living, right, that makes sense.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so you were on a train. You were and
Speaker 5: you're a man who you thought was a jock. Turns
Speaker 5: out your bilk nerds. You got to admit it. And
Speaker 5: then there was bonding over the fact that you feel
Speaker 5: pressure as men to like sports because that's a male
Speaker 5: ritual where men can feel less uncomfortable with themselves exactly,
Speaker 5: and they're feelings right.
Speaker 7: And he was sitting in front of me, but we
Speaker 7: still talked about everything. He just kind of toss it
Speaker 7: over his shoulder like we do on this podcast.
Speaker 1: That must have been irritating for him in his neck.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, he seemed the little chiller.
Speaker 7: But that's when I just started grilling him with more
Speaker 7: questions because he's there.
Speaker 1: One more thing, excuse me.
Speaker 6: What color shoes am I wearing? Wrench owl? Now, he
Speaker 6: was a nice man. Nice and yeah.
Speaker 5: And did you see Demi Levado sing the national anthem?
Speaker 5: Because she did an amazing job.
Speaker 1: I was very nervous.
Speaker 5: We all know how hard the national anthem is to sing.
Speaker 6: I think around that time.
Speaker 7: I was trying to figure out how do I watch
Speaker 7: this game because it wasn't working. So I got I
Speaker 7: did my trial of Hulu Live post National Anthem, got it.
Speaker 7: But it is, Yeah, we all know it's a hard
Speaker 7: song to sing, or a hard song to.
Speaker 6: Make sound good.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's right.
Speaker 6: It's up there with a happy birthday song.
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 5: And Demi has also I think just recently returned to
Speaker 5: the stage, right.
Speaker 1: I mean, ah for a while.
Speaker 6: I haven't heard her name for a while. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think this was a bit of a part of
Speaker 5: a comeback. She just released an album. This was a comeback.
Speaker 5: So I was and I didn't know I cared at
Speaker 5: all about Demi Lovato right right now she began to
Speaker 5: sing yeah, and then I was like, please do this correctly.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: It was kind of like, yeah, your experience it's the
Speaker 7: same as mine with football.
Speaker 6: I thought I didn't care, and then I'm like, go.
Speaker 1: Bay Area, right, please throw it forward.
Speaker 6: I was born in Monterey.
Speaker 7: The two year old in me is very very prideful
Speaker 7: of geographically.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean, I wonder if you were any you
Speaker 5: weren't around when the when the Joe Montana era of
Speaker 5: the forty nine ers, because that was kind of legendary.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just know.
Speaker 7: It was my dad's second team after Raiders. It was like, okay,
Speaker 7: they are out, so now forty nine ers.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
Speaker 7: And then one time we were riding bikes in Missoula
Speaker 7: and from behind from a distance, just by looking at
Speaker 7: his denhim clad butt, my dad's like, there's Joe Montana.
Speaker 1: Amazing.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, my dad knows an ass. His son was
Speaker 7: playing for university of Montana.
Speaker 6: He's like, it was just a going to school.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I was going to say, do you think Joe Montenna,
Speaker 5: Montana hangs out in the state it's named after him.
Speaker 7: I don't know, it's it makes sense. I've been meaning
Speaker 7: to go to Fairbanks, Alaska.
Speaker 4: Huh.
Speaker 5: I want to go to kilgar Kill, gaff Griff Townland.
Speaker 5: You could give an oscar to any movie, any movie?
Speaker 1: Which one would it be?
Speaker 7: I'm afraid and I keep hammering it, hammering it, damn
Speaker 7: people's throats.
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 6: I really like that Marianne series.
Speaker 7: I loved it for French horror, for a French horror series,
Speaker 7: not a movie divided into eight parts. But yeah, I
Speaker 7: guess if it's a series, No can I ask to
Speaker 7: be an Emmy? Are you I'm giving it an early Emmy?
Speaker 6: Okay?
Speaker 1: Are you saying?
Speaker 5: Are you saying this because this is the only Netflix
Speaker 5: series you've.
Speaker 7: Watched, so it's fair too early to give it to
Speaker 7: the Outsider A show I've.
Speaker 6: Very much been enjoying. So good, right, Yeah, I love
Speaker 6: it very good.
Speaker 7: You don't see the supernatural coming, and then it comes,
Speaker 7: and then it.
Speaker 5: Comes, but in a way that's mostly blisters.
Speaker 1: They Stephen King knows how to do it.
Speaker 6: Yes, he does.
Speaker 5: Also, Cynthia Revo, I think that's how you pronounce your
Speaker 5: last name, the woman who plays the kind of on
Speaker 5: the spectrum totuch.
Speaker 6: Yes, she's amazing.
Speaker 5: And also the relationship she's having with that cop where
Speaker 5: he actually said to her, I have the strength of
Speaker 5: ten because my heart is pure. Do you remember that?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that line came out of his mouth
Speaker 5: and I was like, whatever, this relationship is, I am
Speaker 5: absolutely for it. I needed to happen. This is so romantic.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it really is. Yeah. And that guy's just he's
Speaker 6: the copyest looking cop and he's just he's.
Speaker 5: Like Bill Pullman's cousin type of white guy. You know,
Speaker 5: he's just like average as fuck.
Speaker 6: He's just so average a lifetime. I'm not making an impression,
Speaker 6: very vague face. No one has anything bad to say
Speaker 6: about him.
Speaker 5: No, And also but then he says things like could
Speaker 5: you go? He says things like I have the strength
Speaker 5: of ten because my heart is pure, and then you're like,
Speaker 5: hold on, I think he might be the best looking
Speaker 5: man of all timer.
Speaker 7: Right, Yeah, that was like that was a verbal Colin
Speaker 7: Ferrell's eyebrows you have to see, Uh, Gentleman, The Gentleman.
Speaker 1: It's oh, it is very is it out?
Speaker 7: I very much liked it. Yes, Colin Ferrell, it's kind
Speaker 7: of his movie. And you know I didn't care either way.
Speaker 6: I mean you, his.
Speaker 7: Eyebrows do do the thing you were talking about where
Speaker 7: they come up in the middle.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 6: And even when he's mad and being tough, there's some concern, yes,
Speaker 6: and it's there and your whole I.
Speaker 7: Think fifteen minute monologue on his eyebrows came to life
Speaker 7: when I watched that movie.
Speaker 6: Yep.
Speaker 7: Uh, he's so great. Hugh Grant is so good in it.
Speaker 7: Oh shit, I didn't like he is.
Speaker 1: This is the new Guy Ritchie movie?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 6: Yes? Yes? And Guy Ritchie for some reason, I was.
Speaker 7: Confused. I know he made lock Stock and Too Smoking
Speaker 7: Barrels and Snatch, but for some reason.
Speaker 6: In Rock and Roller. In Rock and Roller, and that's
Speaker 6: all I know.
Speaker 7: L Cake be a completely different human and completely different
Speaker 7: genre of films. Who made Fight Club? I was telling people, Oh,
Speaker 7: it's the guy that made Fight Club. Fincher, Yeah, why
Speaker 7: I Finch, the finch Man. I think Ritchie and the
Speaker 7: Finch they were like making movies around the same time
Speaker 7: fifteen years ago. Coming you know, they were both dirty
Speaker 7: and eager pretty realists. Yeah, yeah, now, and boy it
Speaker 7: I very much like it. I may see it again.
Speaker 1: Did you see it in the theater?
Speaker 5: I did, indeed, Okay, Okay, so that must mean it's
Speaker 5: out here.
Speaker 7: Yes, And I just kind of went because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 7: I don't know care how much I care about these
Speaker 7: other films. I guess I'll watch whatever the Gentleman is,
Speaker 7: which is my favorite.
Speaker 6: I forgot that it was this ensemble kind of heisty movie. Yep,
Speaker 6: and it made me.
Speaker 7: Also the only thing to say is I want a
Speaker 7: hound's tooth or plaid sweatsuit. They all have track suits
Speaker 7: in their plaid like the column Farrell's boxing group.
Speaker 6: I'm like, Okay, me and my friends.
Speaker 7: Are all getting these sweatsuits for some get together And
Speaker 7: because we used to.
Speaker 6: Dress up together.
Speaker 1: You've got to go back to that.
Speaker 7: We gotta get back to It's a thing adult men
Speaker 7: with kids who own homes should.
Speaker 6: Start doing, playing back to seventh grade dress up with
Speaker 6: your friends. Yeah, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: Work and all the time, and you have to tell me,
Speaker 1: point me to where you are.
Speaker 7: Oh, yes, we're going to take a left in three blocks.
Speaker 6: Oh okay, yah'll be uh.
Speaker 7: Oh, guess what the name of the street is, montana
Speaker 7: O what.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a real theme.
Speaker 6: It's the reason I moved here. So yeah, take a
Speaker 6: left on this blue signed street.
Speaker 7: Sweet, and and then I will give you further directions, okay,
Speaker 7: without letting.
Speaker 6: People know exactly. While I was gone, I sort of
Speaker 6: airbnb in my apartment, but for free. Oh my neighbor's
Speaker 6: been so sweet.
Speaker 7: She waters my plants and looks after make sure no
Speaker 7: one climbs in my window. And she said, I have
Speaker 7: a friend who's coming or a friend of a friend.
Speaker 7: And I just was like, I'm going to trust that
Speaker 7: she's normal.
Speaker 6: And she was. She enjoyed my apartment, and she's out
Speaker 6: already for a few days. She's gone.
Speaker 1: Nice to go there. It's stripped to the bone.
Speaker 5: There's not even like, yeah, I know it has crossed
Speaker 5: my mind, but wrenches you entirely.
Speaker 1: Every item.
Speaker 7: It's just sliding somehow, even though I'm out of town,
Speaker 7: sliding my my candy cane from my little fingers.
Speaker 6: Oh then I go to sleep. But yeah, she was fine, she.
Speaker 1: Was, she was, Are you tired?
Speaker 6: I am?
Speaker 7: I had some coffee in preparation for this. Nice, but
Speaker 7: I'm more like hysteria. Yeah right please, And I haven't eaten,
Speaker 7: so i'm a little.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 5: You're on the verge because it's Oscar Sunday. You can
Speaker 5: eat any anything you want as quickly as you want
Speaker 5: because no.
Speaker 6: One it wants to have me when an oscar, no
Speaker 6: one's around. See you look at that and then take left.
Speaker 1: Everything's empty. It's very weird.
Speaker 7: Oh it's I guess it's the thing people watch at home, right,
Speaker 7: I guess I can.
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 7: Will it be on one of my inner TV Samsung channels?
Speaker 6: Probably not.
Speaker 1: I think it's inside your TV. Yeah, it'll be in there.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, because I don't pay for cable, you see, right,
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 7: I don't know if there's a network. I really haven't
Speaker 7: watched a lot of TV, but boy I did in
Speaker 7: my hell, I.
Speaker 6: Stayed in these couple of nice hotels too. I can't
Speaker 6: say enough good things.
Speaker 1: Where'd you say?
Speaker 7: Oh I Marriott and then Hilton by Marriott? Helly series
Speaker 7: of Marriotts and or.
Speaker 1: Hilton's nice and makes a huge difference.
Speaker 7: The Midwest thing. People really are nice right away? Yep,
Speaker 7: and you hear that all the time, so you want
Speaker 7: to look for examples of it not being the case.
Speaker 7: But it was just constantly reinforced. Everyone's nice in your face,
Speaker 7: and the best people came to the shows. And sometimes
Speaker 7: one thing I didn't ever like about comedy clubs, it's
Speaker 7: groups coming. It's usually a date, and that's fine, but
Speaker 7: it is two people kind of glancing over at each
Speaker 7: other making sure it's okay to laugh at something because
Speaker 7: they're on a date or a bachelorette party or a
Speaker 7: birthday party where it's not about you at all.
Speaker 6: They're just wearing funny penis balloon hats.
Speaker 1: Are you doing?
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 7: And then but people come alone because they listen to
Speaker 7: the podcasts alone, and then they're embarrassed and there's a
Speaker 7: couple of the nicest people ever.
Speaker 6: I actually, oh, it's a right here.
Speaker 7: I'm so sorry, but I kind of wanted to take
Speaker 7: a ride up here because I want to see I
Speaker 7: thought it'd be cool to see Angelina Heights, this neighborhood,
Speaker 7: like the thriller houses there, and there's all these old
Speaker 7: for real, Yeah, it's in a house from one Tree
Speaker 7: Hill or something.
Speaker 6: I don't know. There beautiful mansions.
Speaker 7: People that made millions in downtown Los Angeles move to
Speaker 7: this neighborhood and it's right by my place and it's big,
Speaker 7: beautiful houses.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 6: So it's kind of fun and it's easy to access
Speaker 6: where I lived from there. Okay, great, it'll be great.
Speaker 1: This is going to be you unbelievable.
Speaker 7: Yeah, architecture or talking about it without any visuals is
Speaker 7: everyone's favorite. The sweetest people came and I wanted to
Speaker 7: say thank you too. And I quote Sherry and Jean
Speaker 7: Marie who came, and they were like, I drove here
Speaker 7: by myself.
Speaker 6: Is that weird? And I'm like, no, it's the best.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the coolest. Sherry and who Jean Marie.
Speaker 6: Oh, Cherry was in Wisconsin, Jean Marie was in Minneapolis.
Speaker 5: No, go straight, oh two people both coming separately.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, yeah a lot of people do, Like I
Speaker 6: like this podcast. I'm going to drive from my small town,
Speaker 6: like maybe go left here.
Speaker 7: Okay, it's just neat that this is my neighborhood because
Speaker 7: look at this house. Yeah, they're always yeah, they're big
Speaker 7: beautiful houses that have some are still haunted and thriller looking,
Speaker 7: and other ones are gorgeous, like we.
Speaker 6: Picked the right street. Oh, look at these houses. I
Speaker 6: pretend this is my neighborhood because it is.
Speaker 5: But also a lot of these people have like very
Speaker 5: clear open front windows where you can just see into
Speaker 5: their house.
Speaker 7: It's and it's one thing I love about the holidays
Speaker 7: is just peeping in and watching.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 7: It's been my dream always to go drive by a
Speaker 7: house and see a family during Christmas eating and then
Speaker 7: see that they're watching TV.
Speaker 6: And then I'm on TV doing the stand up.
Speaker 1: Oh that specific for Christmas.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Christmas specials have the comedy Christmas specials.
Speaker 1: You should be.
Speaker 6: Around two thousand and thirty.
Speaker 5: You can wear that big sweater with the teer on it.
Speaker 5: These houses are nuts.
Speaker 6: I knew it was a good idea.
Speaker 1: They're really pretty.
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is Angelino Heights and and there are little
Speaker 7: places to hitch your horse. Little hitching posts in are
Speaker 7: shaped like little horses. Those will be coming up any
Speaker 7: moment now. Otherwise I'm alive.
Speaker 1: I've seen that we have this in my hometown.
Speaker 6: No horse ones. M Well, your hometown is immediately like,
Speaker 6: I get it. You're beautiful and quaint. This you're right,
Speaker 6: this is near where you know I have a problem
Speaker 6: with people breaking into my garage.
Speaker 7: And then all of a sudden it's like kettalooma quaint
Speaker 7: beautiful town.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's this weird street. Yeah, this is also different,
Speaker 1: I believe now.
Speaker 6: Yeah, we're on.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's gonna make sense. This is that street that
Speaker 7: where we could get on the one on one.
Speaker 6: If we're right. Okay, but we won't want to. Well,
Speaker 6: we'll see how we feel when we get that.
Speaker 5: Okay, let's play it by ear.
Speaker 6: I like you, maybe we'll be feeling it.
Speaker 7: It's two blocks away, so it's too early, okay, Parna
Speaker 7: MEI wants to dive into freeway oscar traffic.
Speaker 6: Speaking of Parasite one Best International Language.
Speaker 1: Oh they should have won Best Film.
Speaker 6: I haven't seen Parasite.
Speaker 1: Ooh, what's good? You gotta see it?
Speaker 7: Is it a is it Japanese film? Korean Korean film?
Speaker 6: Yeah? I need this really brilliant.
Speaker 5: Also, did you ever see the Host, which was a
Speaker 5: like kind of a monster horror movie?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 1: No, same director.
Speaker 6: Oh, I want to see that too.
Speaker 5: Then I would see it first just because simply just
Speaker 5: to get the full range. Because I went to Parasite
Speaker 5: thinking it was going to be a host like movie
Speaker 5: and it is not.
Speaker 1: And I was very impressed by this. How do how
Speaker 1: do you say his last name? Stephen boom jung Ho
Speaker 1: boom jong Ho.
Speaker 6: That's his full name, oh bong Juno. Let's take it
Speaker 6: right on this street right here.
Speaker 7: That's great Kensington, which is the name of my childhood street.
Speaker 6: That's weird.
Speaker 7: Yep, you know what. That's where I pick an area.
Speaker 7: Are the street names familiar.
Speaker 1: Names.
Speaker 6: I didn't have breath and then suddenly I achieved.
Speaker 1: Forced it out, you know, perfectly.
Speaker 6: I bit my cheek, did you made me? Yell?
Speaker 5: I've actually bitten the left lower lip, my left lower lip,
Speaker 5: probably seven times in the last two days, and it's
Speaker 5: driving me into your borderline.
Speaker 6: Chewing your cat am for real. Yeah. I used to
Speaker 6: be such a my dad too.
Speaker 7: We have sharp molars, I think, and just biting the
Speaker 7: side of my cheek and that just makes it bitible,
Speaker 7: swollen thing, so you bite it more.
Speaker 1: You just keep biting it. Yeah, this is nuts. I
Speaker 1: told you it's a mansion town.
Speaker 6: I don't want to say I told.
Speaker 1: You, but I told your face.
Speaker 6: And you look right in the windows.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Craftsman's like perfect, perfectly redound every one.
Speaker 7: Of these houses was a was a talented woodworker.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then it starts to become, you know, my neighborhood.
Speaker 7: But you know, once we take this left here, okay,
Speaker 7: skid rows, it's fine. But the one thing I like
Speaker 7: about my street it is it's wide enough to have
Speaker 7: a boat race.
Speaker 1: Yes it is.
Speaker 6: Look at this.
Speaker 1: This is a roller skating street if I've ever seen.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, you can go right down.
Speaker 1: There are cracks, just trying to get this guy away
Speaker 1: from me. Sorry, I'm going. I'm still going straight down.
Speaker 6: Yeah. I mean there's my there's my street.
Speaker 7: There's the new Okay, see this woman she is she's
Speaker 7: always fiddling about.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 6: Sometimes she'll be sweeping the curb and she's yelling.
Speaker 7: And oh you've told me about her, Yes, and that's
Speaker 7: that's the woman where she'll be yelling at cars and
Speaker 7: seeming to be angry and then I'm like hi, and
Speaker 7: then she snaps out of it and she's like hi, Chris,
Speaker 7: and I, uh, it breaks my heart. Here we are,
Speaker 7: this is where I live. It is I'm going to
Speaker 7: go water my thirst plans and have a daily harvest.
Speaker 1: Oh a nice cup of fruit?
Speaker 6: Maybe, yeah, I think I do I think I'm down
Speaker 6: to some movies? Yeah, well, thank.
Speaker 1: You, Oh my god, my pleasure.
Speaker 6: We absolutely did what we were supposed to do.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we you know, we didn't have to put in
Speaker 5: as much effort because this was a legit. As I
Speaker 5: was explaining when I pulled into the airport, it was
Speaker 5: old school actual.
Speaker 6: Do you need a ride?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, airport style. But I'm not lax. What a miracle.
Speaker 6: It's the best.
Speaker 7: And had we done this when I get back from
Speaker 7: this next trip, it would have been lax.
Speaker 6: I'm really glad you guys were available.
Speaker 1: Same here tonight. That worked out perfectly.
Speaker 6: It's like flying into Mayberry.
Speaker 1: It really is.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: It's just high sheriff, high town, drunk, high loving families.
Speaker 5: Oh oh it's Christmas again. Yeah, and there's Chris poking
Speaker 5: as sent into your window and on your TV.
Speaker 6: It is a weird dream of mine. But I want
Speaker 6: it to happen one day. Will it will? Well, thank
Speaker 6: you again, Hello Steven. Hello, it's good to see you.
Speaker 6: It's good to be back home. Yeah, but I'm going
Speaker 6: to leave it a couple more days.
Speaker 5: Well, it's nice that you have like the that the
Speaker 5: first wave of touring went so great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really nice.
Speaker 6: It really felt good. All all shows sold out.
Speaker 5: Thank you everybody that listens to this podcast for first
Speaker 5: of all, for listening. There's people that have been listening
Speaker 5: to this podcast back before anyone gave a single.
Speaker 7: Shit about it, and they tell me, and it feels good.
Speaker 7: It's so nice, and and other people are like, I
Speaker 7: will admit I learned about this from my favorite murder
Speaker 7: like they're a shamed or something. But I've listened to
Speaker 7: all of it and I've listened to it twice, so
Speaker 7: I feel and I'm like, there is no you know,
Speaker 7: I know, I think on a contest.
Speaker 5: Well, people understand it's a completely different thing because this
Speaker 5: is just like you know, Riffin, it's riff.
Speaker 7: Town, the two friends riffing. And again, thank you for
Speaker 7: doing this to my life. These people wouldn't be I mean,
Speaker 7: I could do stand up for another ten years, even
Speaker 7: successfully getting better and better at it.
Speaker 6: Maybe fans would come, but not bearing.
Speaker 7: Gifts and art I know, and really specific things that
Speaker 7: I'm like, why are you giving me a scorpion?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 7: Your story that you told seventy times? God, I forgot
Speaker 7: I keep forgetting.
Speaker 6: That I told it.
Speaker 1: They're right, here with us.
Speaker 6: Yeah, every single time.
Speaker 1: It's the best feeling.
Speaker 7: It's great. And I have so many cards. I have
Speaker 7: so many we should have a card reading party. This
Speaker 7: bag is filmed.
Speaker 1: That's a great idea.
Speaker 7: Your supply of coffee and so many cards, and I
Speaker 7: do I feel like maybe there should be an episode
Speaker 7: where I gather the one because there are really sweet things,
Speaker 7: just folded piece of paper that says the kindest I
Speaker 7: just want you to be happy, you know, like, and
Speaker 7: it's the best I really or even just when I'm
Speaker 7: getting on stage and people are cheering in a way
Speaker 7: that I've never heard, like recognize, like they care, and
Speaker 7: it gets I'm so easily get emotional.
Speaker 5: Well, it's such a difference, like the difference between that,
Speaker 5: I mean having done stand up for years and having
Speaker 5: zero success I would say at it, and then having
Speaker 5: this podcast and then going to do live shows where
Speaker 5: it's like it's the dream response. Yeah, it's audience members
Speaker 5: who are understand what their job is in that audience
Speaker 5: to how to support you.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they do it so well totally, and it's indicator.
Speaker 7: It just feels good to be at a club and
Speaker 7: then they're like, why are all these people here? Like
Speaker 7: they don't know yep, because I'm not on you know,
Speaker 7: a character on Two Broke Girls or something that's a
Speaker 7: weird example, but just on it, you know what I mean,
Speaker 7: Like right, because a lot of clubs don't really have
Speaker 7: their finger on the podcast pulse, not really. And and
Speaker 7: all these clubs were like really happy with what was happening.
Speaker 7: And I've never experienced that in my whole career, Like
Speaker 7: we are really happy here, we feel good about paying you,
Speaker 7: whereas before it's like here's your check.
Speaker 6: Yep, spitting yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 7: Now they provide the peanuts on a front of platter.
Speaker 1: Oh, mister Fairbanks, your peanuts are here?
Speaker 6: Is it on the peanut platter? Pewter? I'll take them.
Speaker 1: Made of pewter.
Speaker 6: I forgot about my allergy. Well, thank you, Karen.
Speaker 5: You're welcome, my friend. I'm welcome home. And then safe
Speaker 5: travels when you leave again, okay, and then we'll see
Speaker 5: you when you come back again.
Speaker 6: Okay. Great. It sounds like a plan.
Speaker 1: Keep up the good work and the good feelings.
Speaker 7: I was also given a this is for this, uh,
Speaker 7: this will help with the closing of the show.
Speaker 6: Here we go. You've been listening to do you need
Speaker 6: a ride? Do you w and you are?
Speaker 5: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 3: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 3: time and they termino and gay.
Speaker 5: We want to send you off in style.
Speaker 3: You want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 5: Tell us all about every scared or was it fine? Malborn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you ride?
Speaker 4: Ride with Karen and Chris.
Speaker 6: Hey, it's Stephen here. I just wanted to say at
Speaker 6: the end of this episode of Do You Need a Ride,
Speaker 6: that Chris Fairbanks has more tour dates. He's going to
Speaker 6: be at Liquid Laughs in Boise, Idaho, March fifth through
Speaker 6: the eighth, and go to Chris Fairbanks dot com and
Speaker 6: check out all those details. Also, at the end of
Speaker 6: this episode, you're going to hear a trailer for the
Speaker 6: brand new Exactly Right podcast I Said No Gifts with
Speaker 6: Bridger Weineger. He's a hilarious comedy writer. You've heard him
Speaker 6: on the show as a guest, So stay tuned and
Speaker 6: stick around for the trailer for I Said No Gifts
Speaker 6: and be sure to subscribe Apple podcast, iTunes, Stitcher for
Speaker 6: when it goes live on March twelfth. Oh Also, Amy
Speaker 6: Man did the theme song fuck Yeah.