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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: firm Elvis Represents Minute Morning Show. Dang, what an intense

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Speaker 1: show we had this morning. This, of course, is this Thursday,

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Speaker 1: February fourteen, Valentine's Day. We just finished our live show

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Speaker 1: and now we're doing the fifteen minute Morning Show podcast.

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Speaker 1: So we're sitting around the elongated penis table. We've got Gandhi.

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Speaker 1: They're scary, but who is but hurt over something I

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Speaker 1: don't know, And there's and there's Brody the cause of it,

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Speaker 1: and there's Garrett who's here just in time to hear

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Speaker 1: the hurt story. It walks Sam, producer. Sam's walking out,

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Speaker 1: she's walking part of the podcast. But I just realized,

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Speaker 1: fine if you and then Danielle just realized something. Gandhi

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Speaker 1: and I are the balls of the penis um this tapeall. Actually,

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Speaker 1: I'm actually at the I'm at the base. I'm at

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Speaker 1: the balls, and you're at the base of the penis table.

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Speaker 1: You're at the I'm the venus, the venus the balls.

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Speaker 1: And then y'all and Garrett and Rodya are sharing the

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Speaker 1: tip of VPS. The girls would be the foliage. If

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Speaker 1: the penis table had foliage. There's an entire story about

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Speaker 1: the penis table in my new book. Oh did you

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Speaker 1: do that on purpose? I think in a minute, the

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Speaker 1: penis tables in the book. But we got cut out

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Speaker 1: the penis table made it should I should have been

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Speaker 1: a counter. So, as Elvis just described, we have a

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Speaker 1: penis shaped you know, desk here in the studio. Did

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Speaker 1: they show you blueprints of what this would look like? No? No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: he was doing now. I had a totally different layout

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Speaker 1: for the studio and they ignored all of it. So

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Speaker 1: someone else went on their own goes, I think this

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Speaker 1: will look good. I had a big round table with

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Speaker 1: a big hole in the middle, and then in that

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Speaker 1: hole would have been cameras that would have gone around

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Speaker 1: and caught everyone like straight on. It was really a unique,

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Speaker 1: wonderful design, and so I said, okay, do it, and

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Speaker 1: they said you got it. So I came to work

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Speaker 1: when they were finished with the table and it was

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Speaker 1: a big, long penis table. Are you trying to convince

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Speaker 1: this room that you originally wanted a round thing with

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Speaker 1: a hole in the middle and ended up with a

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Speaker 1: penis table And you didn't decide that. I did not decide.

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Speaker 1: I was decided for me. Okay, all right, so yes,

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Speaker 1: you're about to say something, Gandhi, Well, I was just saying,

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Speaker 1: speaking of penises, the girls, the girls have been sending

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Speaker 1: new shots to their their significant others. Really okay, so wait, Daniel,

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Speaker 1: you just you just took a picture of your what

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Speaker 1: and sent it to your husband's took my I took

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Speaker 1: my tank top and I pulled it forward and I

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Speaker 1: took a shot down my shirt and I said, have

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Speaker 1: a Valentine's Day, and I sent it over to him.

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Speaker 1: And Gandhi, you sent out a nude photo of yourself

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Speaker 1: here in the room. I well know. It wasn't here

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Speaker 1: in the room, it was before where I had a

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Speaker 1: full length mirror. Because if you're gonna send the good parts,

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Speaker 1: you got us on them all. It's a good yeah.

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Speaker 1: And then I showed Danielle and then other people were like,

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Speaker 1: I don't get to do it down, Calm down, call

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Speaker 1: hr no. I don't want to harass the visually with things.

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Speaker 1: That's not okay. I can harass daniel She showed me

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Speaker 1: your boobs, so the knife showder mine and then tell

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Speaker 1: you what the conversation was going on. Everyone was so

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Speaker 1: excited about looking at each other's private parts. And then

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Speaker 1: someone said I want to see it, and someone else

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Speaker 1: said me too, and then we heard the words me too.

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Speaker 1: Were like immediately after after Danielle hit sent, you went,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. Oh yeah, because here's the thing. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm having a problem with my Apple phone. So your

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Speaker 1: kids did not get it. No, no, no, So my

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Speaker 1: husband's phone number is just the number right now, there's

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Speaker 1: no name. And for a moment, I wait, wait, I

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Speaker 1: thought I sent you to my dad because my dad

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Speaker 1: and I are talking because my dad has been sick

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Speaker 1: the last couple of days and I was asking him

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Speaker 1: how he was and he was the last person I texted.

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Speaker 1: So you sent your booby shot to your dad, my husband.

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Speaker 1: I hate to interrupt this, Tim, I'm so it's all happy,

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Speaker 1: All all is well. That ends well, okay, So Josh

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Speaker 1: come here. Wow, this is Chief Engineered Joe. Come here.

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Speaker 1: He's the one who designed the room. Let's ask him

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Speaker 1: why it's in the shape of a penis. Well, he's

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Speaker 1: never here. This is this is he's the vice president

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Speaker 1: of engineering for the world at I Heart Radio. Right

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Speaker 1: we're doing our podcast, but we have a question for you.

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Speaker 1: Since you were such an instrumental part of the design

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Speaker 1: of the studio. I originally designed a studio that with

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Speaker 1: a round table with a whole mill so you could

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Speaker 1: put it, you could put a camera. But when we

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Speaker 1: came back to a new studio, it was in the

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Speaker 1: shape of a penis. How did my show end up

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Speaker 1: with a penis table? I mean, there's so many different

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Speaker 1: ways that I can answer that and really be snarky

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Speaker 1: and get in and get in trouble. That's the one

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Speaker 1: we wanted. You thought it would turn me on. Get

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Speaker 1: the gay guy the show a penis tabe. Really, when

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Speaker 1: when you drew the plans out, did you really not

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Speaker 1: see that it looks like a penis? Totally saw that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, how could you not Why he's the head engineer,

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Speaker 1: all right, I mean, and I mean what you saw

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Speaker 1: was after I was like, we got to do something

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Speaker 1: about the nutsack. That was a little bit. And guess

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Speaker 1: who's sitting at the nutsack at the base. I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: at the base and the nuts everybody else is on

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Speaker 1: the shaft, interrupting our flow. When the engineers were like

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Speaker 1: hanging around hammering stuff out in the in the room,

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Speaker 1: banging this stuff together. What did you did you say, like, way,

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Speaker 1: Elvis gets a load of this? I mean, did you

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Speaker 1: guys joke about it out loud? No? Did someone go hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, by the way, did you notice that Elvis's

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Speaker 1: studio has a desk that shaped like a penis? It was,

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Speaker 1: but you know, being engineers, we look at things practically,

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Speaker 1: and there was practically there was there was a design criteria,

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Speaker 1: there was there were needs and alright, best what we

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Speaker 1: all do that best reflected those needs? Thank you. The

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Speaker 1: morning guy needs a penis, so we're gonna get him

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Speaker 1: a penis. Elvis needed a round table and you shafted

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Speaker 1: on it. Anyway, I was reaching for something like that,

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Speaker 1: but you're always much faster than you reach them something.

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Speaker 1: He's someone about the ball, Ladies and gentlemen, the president

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Speaker 1: of Engineering, for all of my heart, the one and

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Speaker 1: only Josh, if you would like a penis the table

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Speaker 1: for moonlights on? What's that? I want to know? Do

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Speaker 1: they joke around that it's your penis because obviously you're

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Speaker 1: the head of of the of the desk. Well, if

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Speaker 1: I'm at the head of the penis, I'm at the

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Speaker 1: wrong end. Well, no, no, where you are, because if

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Speaker 1: we're standing. No, because if it's your penis, this would

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Speaker 1: be your penis. That's right. If I stand up like this,

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Speaker 1: you're sitting at the end of my penis. So do

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Speaker 1: you joke that this is Elvis's penis? No, you don't

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Speaker 1: that person. You should put your hands on your hips.

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Speaker 1: If you're gonna stand there with a penis that side,

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Speaker 1: you know, everything lights up in red. So these are

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Speaker 1: like they bumps on the penis, irriten penis. A thank

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Speaker 1: you Josh, everyone, Josh, the engineer that gave us the

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Speaker 1: penis table. Irritated penis. Hey, so you're talking earlier about

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Speaker 1: sending your pictures of your boobs to each other. So

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Speaker 1: I was at a party there the night and my

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Speaker 1: friends Mike and Ritchie said, Ah, we just went to

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Speaker 1: a wonderful party full of lesbians. Here's what they did. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So all these lesbians, they're all best friends. They've known

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Speaker 1: each other for years. They I'm sure they've they've all

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Speaker 1: they're all very close. They each went, each one of

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Speaker 1: them went into the bathroom and took a close up

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Speaker 1: of their boobs and then they actually print them out

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Speaker 1: on their on their instincts camera and put them all

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Speaker 1: out on the table and everyone had to try to

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Speaker 1: guess whose boobs were there was like named that boot.

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Speaker 1: I smell the game for tomorrow, a little identifiable one

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Speaker 1: of you. Here's the thing we have mostly guys. I'm thinking, well,

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Speaker 1: every guy has to go to the bathroom and take

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Speaker 1: a picture of his let dong. We named the penis.

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Speaker 1: I have asked for this game, Gandhi for years. I

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Speaker 1: have said, I guarantee I could pick out half of them,

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Speaker 1: go and take picture and line them up. I think

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Speaker 1: we should test your skills. Right, let's go tomorrow. So

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Speaker 1: so far we're talking about breasts and penises. Right, is

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Speaker 1: going to be great important body parts. The hip hop

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Speaker 1: station has the same counter, but it's much bigger. H.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand what that means. They just ordered the

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Speaker 1: bigger one. That's all right. So I got a lot

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Speaker 1: going on today. I have a lot. Do you care

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Speaker 1: to share? Yeah? I mean all right. So I have

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Speaker 1: to do my due diligence and do the Valentine's Day thing.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going out to dinner and then a show.

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Speaker 1: We have much effort. We've kept opening session, but I

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Speaker 1: have to before that. I have to go and pack

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Speaker 1: for eleven days because tomorrow morning I had a wheel

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Speaker 1: suitcase in here and uh and head out because I'm

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Speaker 1: going to Kanku. Oh my poor bastards. I also have

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Speaker 1: to do a Broken Boys podcast with this guy over

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Speaker 1: here who says, all right, let's get started right after

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Speaker 1: the show. And then one o'clock he comes to me

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Speaker 1: and says, let's start recording. So all next week you'll

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Speaker 1: be in Cancoon and then on Saturday, I'll meet you

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Speaker 1: at the drag Brunch in Fort Lauderale. To Rich Carlton,

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Speaker 1: I cannot wait. There still tickets available for the available

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Speaker 1: just do a search for South Beach Wine and Food

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Speaker 1: Festival Drag Brunch. Yeah. So halfway through my trip to Cancun,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to Miami because the South Beach Wine

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Speaker 1: and Food festivals going on, and and now I heard

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Speaker 1: that it's it's extended to Fort later Dale. They have

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Speaker 1: events all the way. Feel bad? Can we start to

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Speaker 1: go fund me for scary? He's really got it dressed

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Speaker 1: over on the amount of amount of stuff. I have

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Speaker 1: a lot to do in a little bit of time,

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Speaker 1: and I don't like being on a time plunch, and

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Speaker 1: I've got to I've got to get to I've got

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Speaker 1: to get to the drag b I have to open

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Speaker 1: my Valentine's presence. I know you call it a session session,

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Speaker 1: but don't you understand what don't you ever have so

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Speaker 1: much to do in a day yesterday, in the day before. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just I'm coming home to two children every day

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Speaker 1: and having to do that on top of everything else.

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Speaker 1: And then I gotta clean my apartment. I gotta do

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Speaker 1: the dishes. Cleaning lady, No, no, she doesn't come once

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Speaker 1: every two weeks. I have somebody who's who tidies up

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Speaker 1: once every two weeks. I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you don't say that. It's like calling a flight

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Speaker 1: attendant a stewardess. You just don't do that. I guess,

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Speaker 1: not say the cleaner. What's your biggest problem? Okay? I

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Speaker 1: have fresh produce, fruits and vegetables that are going to

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Speaker 1: go bad because they're not going to be I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be gone for eleven days. Can I bring in my

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Speaker 1: tomatoes tomorrow at not going anywhere. I'm going to do

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Speaker 1: a staycation and do some stuff with my bring them

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Speaker 1: to bring them to Daniel Ganda. You're so quiet because

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Speaker 1: we talked too much. This is one thing you needed

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Speaker 1: to know before you came to join our shows several

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Speaker 1: months ago. You gotta like fight for your right to

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Speaker 1: talk in. Yeah, We've had this conversation before, but I

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Speaker 1: just can't do it once everybody starts yelling. I'm just

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Speaker 1: listening and hearing what's going on, silently judging and the

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Speaker 1: funniest stuff to say, and were never hearing because everyone else.

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Speaker 1: Oh thanks. I don't have any produces or anything to

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Speaker 1: bring in, and I'm not started out about this awesome

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Speaker 1: vacation week we're about to have. I'm very happy. Everything's good. Tomatoes.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing for vacation? Do you care to share?

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Speaker 1: I do care to share. I'm doing Kesha's weird and

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Speaker 1: wonderful Rainbow Cruise. Talk about it. Kesha a Norwegian hooked

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Speaker 1: it up. So we're gonna go to the Bahamas and

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Speaker 1: there's tons of really cool stuff on the On the ship,

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Speaker 1: they're gonna be drag queens. There's dirty karaoke, dirty bingo,

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Speaker 1: Kesha in general, and I get to take one of

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Speaker 1: my best friends in the whole world, which is making

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Speaker 1: me super happy because I missed her wedding and it

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Speaker 1: was awful and she cried about it when I missed it.

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Speaker 1: So this is my makeup to her. When do you

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Speaker 1: guys uh depart Sunday? On Sunday? Are there still I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is so last minute this podcast, But are there

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Speaker 1: still ways to get on the Kesha Cruise? Are there

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Speaker 1: are a couple of places spots available? Still not a lot,

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Speaker 1: but you can still grab them if you want to

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Speaker 1: go to n c L dot com and do a

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Speaker 1: Google for yes, come party with us. I love that.

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Speaker 1: I know I can't wait, and I'm not starts about

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Speaker 1: the point. Is Kesha gonna be there? Okay? Just checking?

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Speaker 1: I saw her post something on her Instagram the other

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Speaker 1: day and I was like, oh, maybe I should dam

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Speaker 1: her like, hey cruise buddy, Oh god, you're using your God,

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Speaker 1: this is the last podcast before our vacations. About that

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Speaker 1: too out Normally you like us to lie and don't

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Speaker 1: tell people on vacations scary. I'm just saying, why would

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Speaker 1: you do that? It's like we're gonna make it seem

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Speaker 1: like it's flawless. People know we're on vacation, Daniel, they

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Speaker 1: hear the same old crap they've heard before, and the

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Speaker 1: ratings go up by the way. Yeah, that is something

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Speaker 1: Garrett that just said. It's so true. When we're on

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Speaker 1: vacation for like two weeks during the holidays and stuff,

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Speaker 1: the ratings go up. We're worried we're worth more dead

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Speaker 1: than a lot. We shouldn't tell people this, No, and

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Speaker 1: we have so many years of shows in the can.

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Speaker 1: We could basically be fired now and they could run

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Speaker 1: those for the next five years. They have the rights

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Speaker 1: to do that. They do, they do interesting they All

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Speaker 1: I can think about right now is if we had

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Speaker 1: to kill someone in the room, who would it be? Daniel?

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Speaker 1: I'm very quick. I didn't didn't think about that, really

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Speaker 1: have to all these years now, I would kill Scary.

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Speaker 1: That's another thing for him to stress about. But don't worry.

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Speaker 1: I'll wait till after your eleven day vacations. I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: There's no one. Why would you ask that question? There's

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Speaker 1: no one in here. You're always thinking when I'm in

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Speaker 1: a group of people, like if we were to get

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Speaker 1: started on a desert island, who am I going to eat?

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Speaker 1: I like to decide that. Okay, don't that's easy? You

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Speaker 1: eat Scary? You want to know why? Look at his

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Speaker 1: calf muscles. There's so much meat on those bones, you'll

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Speaker 1: keep you going for days. You thought about that too,

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Speaker 1: You have to like gall I mean, they have more

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Speaker 1: meat than real calves. You really don't think a lot

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Speaker 1: of pineapples. It's like Popeye. Look here, here's the thing

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Speaker 1: about that question. About that question, Gandhi asked. We would

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Speaker 1: never be able to find Gandhi because I stood in

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Speaker 1: the studio for almost two hours one day, just recording

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Speaker 1: stuff for our show. She was hiding in the corner

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Speaker 1: the entire time, salamander like a lamp. Like, yeah, she

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Speaker 1: had a coat over her head. Didn't say a word. Wait,

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Speaker 1: hold on, back up. What you were standing in a

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Speaker 1: corner of the studio with a coat over your hand.

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Speaker 1: It was like a little suitcase over there. There was

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Speaker 1: a tiny little spot for me to tuck myself into.

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Speaker 1: And all I wanted to do was terrorized Scary and

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Speaker 1: Brody Brodie and Scary whatever. And they were supposed to

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Speaker 1: come in and do the podcast, like Scary said, they

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Speaker 1: were supposed to be at eleven thirty, twelve fifteen twelve thirty.

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Speaker 1: Garrett rolls in and he's talking to someone. And then

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Speaker 1: finally I was just like carrot. I'm here, don't worry

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Speaker 1: about it. Scared the crap out of me. We had

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Speaker 1: sat in the corner with a coat on her head

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Speaker 1: for an hour. I know that sounds so relaxing. Well,

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Speaker 1: my legs fell asleep after like fifteen minutes. I couldn't move,

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Speaker 1: So it was really Yeah, you were so weird. Garrett

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Speaker 1: was like, you were really committed to this. I'm like

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Speaker 1: I was. Now, I'm dying never find her on the A.

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Speaker 1: If we had to eat someone, I would eat Gandi

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Speaker 1: because I love Indians. Yeah, minute morning, l