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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Keon and this is Angie, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from our sponsors that keep the show running.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend loved me like a princess, then gave me

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Speaker 1: rules to keep them calm.

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Speaker 3: Even princesses can break the rules.

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Speaker 1: I've been with my boyfriend for four months. He is

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Speaker 1: a lawyer and has a very stressful job. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from Lyon Helpful thirteen forty six And if

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Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 1: r slash Okay Storytime subride at I'm Savannah, I'm Keon,

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Speaker 1: and we are here to give some good advice. Goofy.

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Speaker 1: Yet we do not have all of the answers. We

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Speaker 1: don only tell you what we would do in this situation,

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Speaker 1: but let us know what you would do down in

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Speaker 1: the comments. As Opie says, to give a backstory, things

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Speaker 1: were amazing in the beginning. He took me to fancy restaurants,

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Speaker 1: cooked dinners by candlelight, and I could tell he was

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Speaker 1: very nervous about making a good impression. He would kiss

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Speaker 1: me from head to toe and tell me that I'm

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Speaker 1: perfect his princess blah blah blah. It was honestly a

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Speaker 1: bit much. Over time, he became more sit short tempered,

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Speaker 1: and needed my attention a lot more. I slowly began

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Speaker 1: cooking while he was too busy working to help. Then

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Speaker 1: he could only have spicy sleep for forty five minutes

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Speaker 1: before going back to work. One night, I joked that

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Speaker 1: he could only have spicy sleep if he worked for it,

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Speaker 1: and he became greatly upset and told me I had

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Speaker 1: crossed a major boundary. Things started to get a little weird.

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Speaker 1: He told me he doesn't usually date women who work

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Speaker 1: in marketing, but it seemed he made an exception for me.

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Speaker 1: Then sometimes he would powercall me if I didn't answer

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Speaker 1: right away, fourty five times in a row. He started

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Speaker 1: becoming a bit jealous. Example, I mentioned Zach Glifanakis is funny,

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Speaker 1: and my boyfriend's face turned completely dark. I had a

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Speaker 1: friend paint me nude, and my boyfriend said, I don't

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Speaker 1: know how I feel about someone seeing my woman unclothed.

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Speaker 1: I mentioned an ex boyfriend and he wanted to know

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Speaker 1: what school he went to, and he became super defensive

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Speaker 1: and aggravated. Sometimes at night, I turned my phone onto

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Speaker 1: airplane mode, and my boyfriend explained it makes him feel disay,

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Speaker 1: connected and unsafe, and could I please check in and

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Speaker 1: check out before doing so. From my understanding, I thought

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Speaker 1: we were dating until one day. He talked about partnerships,

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Speaker 1: in his needs, et cetera, et cetera. Finally, he stated

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Speaker 1: he is paranoid about gold diggers. He said, because he

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Speaker 1: has a high income job, he doesn't want women who

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Speaker 1: will only request fancy restaurants. He said, it's good that

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Speaker 1: I cook for him because it proves that I'm not

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Speaker 1: a gold digger and that I'm not like those other women.

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Speaker 1: The thing is, I don't want to always cook, but

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Speaker 1: now I feel kind of guilted about it. He's become

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Speaker 1: a bit weird about communication, and he will literally say, okay,

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Speaker 1: I expect to hear from you by six pm. He said,

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Speaker 1: he needs our partnership to be organized and predictable. Dude,

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Speaker 1: nothing about a relationship is organized and predictable. It's always

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Speaker 1: like I mean organized, I could see, but like predictable.

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Speaker 1: You never know what's gonna happen, like day to day.

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Speaker 1: Nobody knows. We're all improv you know what this guy

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Speaker 1: is giving me what virgo?

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Speaker 2: No, well, maybe Patrick Bateman aka the American Psycho.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever seen, Oh, I have seen America.

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Speaker 3: It's like giving that. It's giving that vibe right now,

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Speaker 3: do you understand?

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Speaker 2: Yah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like the underlying themes of like control and like

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Speaker 1: putting on a happy phase and just like having this

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Speaker 1: whole other person.

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Speaker 2: Just weird little things here and there that like it's

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Speaker 2: just very niche.

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Speaker 3: It's giving like it.

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Speaker 2: Sure hopefully he's not one of those guys, but it's

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Speaker 2: giving that where like he's a high like high working man.

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Speaker 2: He gets all this money and he's just like the

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Speaker 2: dynamics and power all this and that all that. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is make sure make sure you check he doesn't

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Speaker 2: have an axe somewhere in his apartment.

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Speaker 1: He needs to know I will respond in a certain timeframe,

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Speaker 1: and if I can't do that, it won't work. I

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Speaker 1: just found these exchanges really bizarre. There are some relevant comments.

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Speaker 1: Disastrous Airline twenty eight says, yep, four months about how

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Speaker 1: long it takes for the mask to slip. Congrats, you've

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Speaker 1: met the real him. It only gets worse from here.

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Speaker 1: A Opie responds, honestly, I'm getting major power, hungry and

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Speaker 1: obsessive vies from him. Disaster's Airline twenty eight again responds,

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Speaker 1: he will try to escalate things to see how far

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Speaker 1: he can push your boundaries. It's called a crap test.

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Speaker 1: Tell him no to anything and watch his reaction. Controlling

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Speaker 1: men think boundaries are a harmful act on them. He

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Speaker 1: will retaliate against any attempt to assert your needs and

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Speaker 1: set healthy boundaries. Ohp, he responds, It took about forty

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Speaker 1: eight hours to myself saying I wasn't feeling well and

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Speaker 1: needed a bit of space. He said, take all the

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Speaker 1: time you need. But then when he did talk, he

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Speaker 1: said how unsafe and angry he felt, and hopefully in

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Speaker 1: time I can win his trust again. Lol, my God.

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Speaker 1: Concussions of a Parrot responds, Oh geez, well have you well?

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Speaker 1: Have you repented now or are you doing a misdeed

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Speaker 1: from your incorrect thoughts? Still he's waiting. Lol, I'm sorry

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Speaker 1: you're in this position. He seems hella heavy to be around.

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Speaker 1: Opie responds, I have repented many times. Hopefully the Lord

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Speaker 1: will forgive me and there's an update.

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Speaker 2: Repenting, Yeah, I know, like the power of Christ compels

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Speaker 2: you Opie. Yeah, at first that's what he was like,

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Speaker 2: the mask is falling off. This man is a little

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Speaker 2: looney and he's got some crazy standards in crazy rules

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Speaker 2: that he's trying to see how like tiny he can

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Speaker 2: make that little box on you and like how you

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Speaker 2: can like just like be okay with it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, not cool. It's kind of weird how like they

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Speaker 1: present themselves in this way and then always it just

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Speaker 1: never never fails that, you know, they show their true

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Speaker 1: colors eventually then you're like wait what and then you're

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Speaker 1: kind of stuck because you're like, well, I saw you

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Speaker 1: one way, but now you're this way, and I want

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Speaker 1: to get back to the old way. But they never

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Speaker 1: go it's never.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that's because because that's not who they are.

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Speaker 3: That's who they are.

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Speaker 2: They they were acting like or they put on like

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Speaker 2: a persona or a personality like I know what they

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Speaker 2: want until I like, like it's like the bait, you know,

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Speaker 2: like like like when you're trying to fish, the fish

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Speaker 2: is like that looks yummy, that looks fun, This is tasty,

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Speaker 2: and then you get hooked and it's like, well, now

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Speaker 2: now you got caught, and what can you do now? Well,

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Speaker 2: luckily it's still it seems very early that the best

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Speaker 2: thing you can do is I don't think you can

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Speaker 2: communicate with this guy.

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Speaker 3: I think you just break up with him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think there's any like healthy communication that

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Speaker 1: can happen, because it seems like he's just very irrational

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Speaker 1: about everything and needs it done a specific way, very controlling,

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Speaker 1: very manipulative. You know, it's just e you gotta get out, girl.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and get out before it gets any worse, or

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Speaker 2: it gets any more controlling, or that you start confiding like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is great, this is fine.

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Speaker 3: I'm worried with someone like this that they're.

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Speaker 2: Gonna be like, yeah, I knew it, you are a

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Speaker 2: gold digger, you did use me, blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: I could just get really aggressive.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's that's also. I'm worried that he's gonna

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Speaker 1: get more aggressive, more aggravated, and it's going to escalate

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Speaker 1: to something not just verbally but maybe physically. And I

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Speaker 1: hope that doesn't happen.

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Speaker 3: We don't want that to happen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's an update December first, twenty twenty one, a

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Speaker 1: little over a month later. Holy crap balls, mother of Pearl?

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Speaker 1: What the F was that relationship? We broke up shortly

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Speaker 1: after I posted in that forum nice awesome good?

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Speaker 3: Did he break up? Or did you did?

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Speaker 1: I would hope that you did it.

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Speaker 3: I hope it was just a very easy in it.

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Speaker 2: I feel I feel it was a very easy just

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Speaker 2: like a little rip off of the band aid, but

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Speaker 2: nothing too painful.

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Speaker 1: No. I doubt he did it because he seems like

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Speaker 1: the person that he wants to be the victim, so

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Speaker 1: like he can never break up with someone. They always

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Speaker 1: had to break up.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, you can out crazy him. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: those guys, you can try out crazy them. But then

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Speaker 2: that it gets just gets again. He just gets really crazy,

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Speaker 2: like doing weird, gross stuff.

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Speaker 1: By the end, things had become so bad that I,

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Speaker 1: even insecure and needy, didn't have the patience anymore.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 1: He needed me to comply with all of his rules,

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Speaker 1: listen to his work problems, talk him through his anxiety attacks,

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Speaker 1: cater to him spicy sleep. Uh, it was too much.

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Speaker 1: When we broke up, he told me how devastated he

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Speaker 1: was and how important I was to him. He was

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Speaker 1: manipulating me by saying we can only be friends and

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Speaker 1: that we should meet just to test the waters. It

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Speaker 1: was the most confusing time of my life. He started

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Speaker 1: to create weird communication rules after the breakup by saying

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Speaker 1: I need space. I cannot talk now. Contact me in

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Speaker 1: two weeks because he needed to heal to heal, But

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Speaker 1: then he would call me and tell me all about

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Speaker 1: his work problems and how he got a raise, et cetera, etcetera.

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Speaker 3: Great easiest blocke of all time.

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Speaker 2: Just we broke up, I'll hit you. We'll talk in

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Speaker 2: two weeks. I just need time to heal. I'm going

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Speaker 2: through a lot right now. And you go, cool, good

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Speaker 2: luck block. You got all that pretty much scott free. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like all the hard all the hard work was done

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Speaker 2: by him, and all the confusing stuff.

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Speaker 3: Get out of that great, don't look back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean he kinda was like, oh, I'm very devastated,

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Speaker 1: da da, I'll talk to you later. And that's like

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Speaker 1: wait what No, And then he's like, well, okay, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I can't talk right now. Two weeks and

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Speaker 1: then he calls you and it's like, well, you know

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Speaker 1: this thing happened at work, and like, but I got

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Speaker 1: a raise and I really wanted to tell you because

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Speaker 1: I know you'd be happy for me. Me, me, me, And

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Speaker 1: that's like, dude, what's going on? You're you're gonna be

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Speaker 1: MiG signals here.

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Speaker 2: Well, so I don't think we're together, but I think

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Speaker 2: we're kind of together. But like, we're not together, but

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Speaker 2: I think we're together, but I think we're friends. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think we should be friends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, dude, got it. Then he would flip to

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Speaker 1: the other side and angrily tell me I never want

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Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with you again. I want

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Speaker 1: to see other people. We are over forever. You know

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Speaker 1: what happened. I woke up. I realized that this man

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Speaker 1: has serious issues that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

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Speaker 1: I can honestly say it was like being sucked into

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Speaker 1: an effing vortex. And we only dated seriously for seven weeks.

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Speaker 3: Seven weeks.

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Speaker 1: Oh whoa, that's he did not He sped that process

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Speaker 1: up so quick.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, his entire like, do I want my future with

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Speaker 2: this woman? Do I want my future? What is my future?

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Speaker 3: What is life like? All these things like.

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Speaker 1: Ooh Eggshaustin, But all your comments truly truly helped me.

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Speaker 1: You all have no idea how many times I read them.

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Speaker 1: Pretty much every day, So thank you, thank you. I'm

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Speaker 1: moving on and feeling oh so strong.

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Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

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Speaker 2: to the next one. My boyfriend bought himself a console,

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Speaker 2: then bought me lemon soap.

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Speaker 1: I love lemon cello.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I have been together for four years.

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Speaker 2: We lived together, and he's never been the best at

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Speaker 2: gift giving. For example, last year he got me a

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Speaker 2: PlayStation five, which is nice, but I have never expressed

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Speaker 2: wanting one, so it felt more for him. I like

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Speaker 2: gangs now then do use it. Also for my birthday,

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Speaker 2: he got me kitchen hand soap and hand sanitizer and

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Speaker 2: lemon scent. I do not like lemon scent. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from user key yam eight eight zero zero.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 2: to the r slash. Okay, sorry, time suppred it.

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Speaker 3: I'm key On, I'm Savannah, and we're here to give

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Speaker 3: good advice. Goofily.

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Speaker 2: We don't have all the answers, guys, we only know

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Speaker 2: what we do, so let us know what you do

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Speaker 2: in the comments, like if you like lemon soap or not.

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Speaker 2: As Opie says, well this year since his birthday is

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Speaker 2: on the seventeenth. I ended up doing these notes leading

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Speaker 2: up to Christmas with cute, flirty rhymes hints about the

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Speaker 2: next gift. I got him some decent gifts. I'll pack

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Speaker 2: a socks weighed, heating blankets, snacks, board games for us,

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Speaker 2: and a bookie wanted. I gave him his final gift

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Speaker 2: at one am on Christmas. I asked him if I

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Speaker 2: could have mine yet. He said he felt bad that

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Speaker 2: he didn't do.

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Speaker 3: As much as me.

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Speaker 2: He didn't for me, he didn't get as many hours

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Speaker 2: as he wanted at work, and that he wanted to

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Speaker 2: save some money for our anniversary trip next month. I'm

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Speaker 2: paying for the entire hotel, by the way, and it's

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Speaker 2: not a far trip fun. I don't care how much

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Speaker 2: he spends, but I do care if it's personal and thoughtful.

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Speaker 2: I will admit I'm upset. He didn't say anything about

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Speaker 2: a budget before the day of, as he had more

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Speaker 2: than enough time to tell me. I even asked him

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Speaker 2: a few days earlier if he already has.

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Speaker 3: Something for me.

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Speaker 2: He said that I already know what I was getting,

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Speaker 2: but didn't tell me what. I discussed jewelry with him,

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Speaker 2: so that is what I assumed it would be, and

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Speaker 2: I was excited.

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Speaker 3: What I actually got? You ready for this?

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Speaker 2: I got a thing of rocher acolates with three flavors,

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Speaker 2: two of which I won't eat because I hate coconut

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Speaker 2: and it has coconut.

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Speaker 1: Ah, he don't know you, girl, He don't know op.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting also a nice uh. I see a pattern

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Speaker 2: here of that. You don't like fruits.

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Speaker 1: You don't like lemonion, like coconut. What's next? You hate mangoes?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Oh no, I love mango.

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Speaker 2: I also got a pair of boxed lounge pants with

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Speaker 2: Christmas lights on them as the design. I really don't

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Speaker 2: like Christmas that much. The last thing a purple Stanley cup.

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Speaker 2: I just got a new one for myself last month.

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Speaker 2: My favorite color is also definitely not purple. I can't

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Speaker 2: be too mad at the Stanley cup, as it was

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Speaker 2: the nicest thing he got me. I'm really hoping this

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Speaker 2: was a joke and that there will be more tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: I do feel selfish and ungrateful for.

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Speaker 3: Even being mad about this.

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Speaker 2: I feel like he got it all last minute and

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Speaker 2: even put any thought into it. He never once asked me.

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Speaker 3: But I want it.

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Speaker 2: I am just so disappointed, and I think he knows

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Speaker 2: I am, since I'm not the best at hiding my feelings.

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Speaker 2: He hasn't really said anything about it. We went to bed,

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Speaker 2: but I'm just so stressed out about the whole thing.

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Speaker 2: I can't even sleep. I just wanted something personal and special.

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Speaker 2: Was that too much to ask? Our relationship has been

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Speaker 2: rocky this last month, and it feels like this was

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Speaker 2: the last straw. And we have an update with some clarification.

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Speaker 2: First off, thanks everyone. I really didn't think this would

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Speaker 2: get so much attention. I kind of just wrote it

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Speaker 2: when I was upset to let it all out. Hearing

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Speaker 2: that other people got other bad gifts helped. There were

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Speaker 2: some really funny ones. I did confirm with him that

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Speaker 2: he did, in fact get the gifts last minute after

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Speaker 2: his shift.

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Speaker 3: Shocking. Yeah, we all know he did.

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Speaker 2: I was pretty mad, but try not to be because

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Speaker 2: it was Christmas. The sadness turned to anger real quick.

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Speaker 2: I'm not mad about the PlayStation. I like it now

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Speaker 2: and probably play more than he does. He was never

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Speaker 2: really a gamer. I think he got it so we

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Speaker 2: can have something to do together which you have to play. Well,

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Speaker 2: that's fun. Good PlayStation's fun. I guess if you guys

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Speaker 2: are playing it together.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love two player games.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, yes, I will take the PlayStation if I

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Speaker 2: leave him.

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Speaker 3: Ooh, that's.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 1: I mean it is technically yours.

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Speaker 3: I guess it was a gift to you. It is yours,

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Speaker 3: I promise it. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I haven't read anything about this being communicated. If he

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Speaker 2: can switch it up from now, do you think can

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Speaker 2: the relationship be saved?

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Speaker 1: I mean it seems I don't see that's that's also true.

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Speaker 1: I didn't hear anything about like communicating, so like maybe

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Speaker 1: they're just not communicating and she's just like, oh, like cool,

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Speaker 1: But I feel like she also said she hasn't hired

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Speaker 1: her like feelings your feelings?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so and again, is it like I said earlier,

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Speaker 2: men are dumb, like not to be out of that

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Speaker 2: as an excuse, but like he should know when you

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00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,800
Speaker 2: feel upset, he should know all of this.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean also like he can't read your mind.

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Speaker 1: As a woman, we give signs, and some of those

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Speaker 1: signs may be no, no, it's fine, And some of

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00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 1: the signs may be like, hey, listen, I freaking hate

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00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,960
Speaker 1: when you do this, you know. So I mean I

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00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,480
Speaker 1: don't think that we're the best at communicating either, But

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00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:21,080
Speaker 1: I also believe that you if you want something, just

341
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,760
Speaker 1: communicate that, you know, how or how else are they

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00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 1: gonna know? And so, you know, no one's a mind reader.

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Speaker 1: Everyone expects people to just know, like, oh, we've been

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Speaker 1: together for twelve years, you should just know. And it's like, actually, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the thing again, that you guys have been

347
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,880
Speaker 2: together for four years. He should know these things, but

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00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:43,320
Speaker 2: it seems like he doesn't. Yeah, which is dumb.

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00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 1: But there's obviously evidence that he just doesn't get it. Yeah,

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00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you just have not communicated

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00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: that or you have and he hasn't listened, because those

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00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 1: are two different scenarios.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I know this is like the last straw

354
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,120
Speaker 2: your relationship's been on the rocks here, but maybe this

355
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,800
Speaker 2: can change it, you know, telling him, Hey, I appreciate

356
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,280
Speaker 2: those gifts, but come on, those weren't really thoughtful.

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Speaker 1: You got me and soap, you got me in a

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00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:08,399
Speaker 1: cent that I hate.

359
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,919
Speaker 2: You got me chocolates that obviously I'm not eating. What

360
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,960
Speaker 2: can we like, can we talk about this kind of stuff? Yeah,

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00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,919
Speaker 2: So hopefully guys can save it.

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00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,080
Speaker 3: If not, I don't blame you.

363
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,400
Speaker 2: Let's go and fishes up the story, though I hope

364
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,120
Speaker 2: he continues saying I'll take the switch in the TV too.

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00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:28,080
Speaker 2: I appreciate the concern, and he does have other great

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00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:33,919
Speaker 2: qualities I swear, just not gift giving, obviously. He is

367
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 2: really sweet sometimes and we'll do things when I ask.

368
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 2: He gets me flowers and chocolates that I do like. Again,

369
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,240
Speaker 2: he does it when I'm sad. I love his personality

370
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Speaker 2: a lot. He just happens to be the biggest only

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Speaker 2: child I've ever met. You know, you know, he does

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00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 2: know me really well, I think. But he and the

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00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,080
Speaker 2: gifts say two completely different things. We talked and he

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00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 2: knows he messed up. I told him sorry, just wasn't

375
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,680
Speaker 2: going to cut it this time, because, yeah, this is

376
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,679
Speaker 2: a pattern I need out of him if we're going

377
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 2: to continue. This isn't just gift giving either, as I

378
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,159
Speaker 2: once asked him to cook my chicken and he just

379
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,159
Speaker 2: threw it in the oven with no seasoning or oil

380
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,919
Speaker 2: or anything. It was pretty gross. So we'll see again.

381
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 2: Thank you for all the support and Mary Freakin' Christmas

382
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:25,399
Speaker 2: and Happy Holidays. Well that was a rollercoaster at the

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00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:25,800
Speaker 2: end there.

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00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I still I mean, there was no conclusion,

385
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,520
Speaker 1: so colusion.

386
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,680
Speaker 2: But it seems like Op's like more than halfway out

387
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,760
Speaker 2: the door ready to leave.

388
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's made up her mind. She's just waiting

389
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,119
Speaker 1: for an excuse to say.

390
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like the things I'm getting here, I asked

391
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 2: him once to cook, like he does have good qualities.

392
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,040
Speaker 3: We always get that he has good qualities.

393
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Speaker 1: Girl.

394
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:49,520
Speaker 2: He doesn't know your favorite color. Yeah, girl, you've been.

395
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 1: Together for four years and he doesn't know what you like.

396
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,160
Speaker 3: He doesn't know what you like or what you want.

397
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,199
Speaker 2: But again, is that on ope as well of not

398
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,920
Speaker 2: saying these things directly to him?

399
00:18:59,119 --> 00:18:59,639
Speaker 1: Yeah?

400
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 2: Or is that is that both on them? It's it

401
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 2: seems like it like you asked him to cook chicken.

402
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 2: Is he a good cook?

403
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 1: Technically he did get technically.

404
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,159
Speaker 2: Did cook the chicken? Did you tell him you need

405
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 2: to put seasonings? This that all the the whole nine yards?

406
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,960
Speaker 2: Or you said cook the chicken and the man said processing. Processing.

407
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: She only said cook the chicken, So I'm gonna do that.

408
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,480
Speaker 1: Processing is so good.

409
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,040
Speaker 3: Like when he's like.

410
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 2: I want gifts, he's like processing. She just said gifts

411
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,719
Speaker 2: so like, what kind of gifts.

412
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 3: I don't know. She didn't tell me exactly what.

413
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I don't know. He just doesn't seem like

414
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 1: he puts much thought into anything. And if that's gonna

415
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 1: be you know, if this has been your entire relationship,

416
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 1: which it seems like it has been that, he's just

417
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,639
Speaker 1: he doesn't put really much thought into anything. And if

418
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,040
Speaker 1: that bothers you, then yeah, then just get rid of them.

419
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. If nothing changes after this conversation, then I say

420
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 2: break up with him. You've you've given hints, you've told

421
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,160
Speaker 2: him straight out now what you want, and if he's

422
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,400
Speaker 2: not doing what do that?

423
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,200
Speaker 3: I think it's best for you to leave.

424
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: You've literally given him four years to figure out who

425
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 1: you are and what you want. If he doesn't figure

426
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,560
Speaker 1: out by four years, he's not gonna figure out in ten.

427
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 1: He's not gonna figure out in twenty. So you might

428
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 1: as well get out now before it gets any words.

429
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

430
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,719
Speaker 1: My fiance says he needs more food, but our budget

431
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 1: can't keep up.

432
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 3: I guess we need more money too.

433
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 1: My partner at twenty four male and I twenty three female,

434
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 1: are in a long distance relationship. We had a bag

435
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 1: of frozen salmon in the fridge. One day, I cooked

436
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 1: us each a file a with rice, and I gave

437
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: him the larger flea and more rice because I know

438
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,920
Speaker 1: he eats more than me. He ate an entire bucket

439
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,880
Speaker 1: of fried chicken after didn't even offer to share. By

440
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from college pretend eighty seven oh eight.

441
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

442
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 1: to the llar slash Okay, story time separated it. I'm Savannah,

443
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: I'm Keon, and we are here to give some good

444
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: advice gool for me. But we do not have all

445
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 1: of the answers. We'd only tell you what we would

446
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 1: do in this particular circumstance. Just know what you would

447
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 1: do in this particular circumstance in the commons, as Op says, today,

448
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,359
Speaker 1: he's cooking, and I notice he is cooking two salmon

449
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 1: filets for himself and one for me. Now I only

450
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,080
Speaker 1: need one file at. That's not the problem. The problem

451
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,679
Speaker 1: is we are both on shoe string budgets. He's in

452
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 1: grad school and I'm working a low paying job until

453
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 1: I can find something better. So taking double and massive

454
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 1: portions of meat without even thinking about the consequences feels wasteful.

455
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: He is always hungry, and I just don't see eating

456
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,679
Speaker 1: double the meat and making our budget so much tighter

457
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: as a solution. I'd rather he take double rice so

458
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,479
Speaker 1: that we can have another day of eating this frozen

459
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: salmon instead of two days of him taking double portions.

460
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,880
Speaker 1: We can't afford to buy the salmon on our own.

461
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 1: My parents gifted us this bag of frozen filets. It's

462
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,400
Speaker 1: a limited quality, and him taking double feels like he's

463
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 1: taking it directly out of my future mouth. He also

464
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 1: doesn't eat breakfast. It feels like he just thinks there's

465
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,679
Speaker 1: unlimited meat. When I bring it up to him, he

466
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,160
Speaker 1: says he's hungry, so he has to eat more. He's

467
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: not overweight by any means, probably underweight. He eats more

468
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 1: than twice what I do, and I am not a

469
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,879
Speaker 1: small person. I just don't understand why the more he

470
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 1: has to eat has to be the most expensive parts

471
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 1: of our meals. Is this normal for men? Should we

472
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 1: just try and find a way to budget for more meat.

473
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 1: Is there a better way to approach this than there is?

474
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: An op days?

475
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 3: I mean, we've said it, Yeah, I eat I eat

476
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 3: a lot. I do all you can eat all the time.

477
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,200
Speaker 1: I love all you can eat.

478
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, Carly sees it all the time. I eat. I

479
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:37,639
Speaker 3: love food.

480
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean like every time we go, Carly and

481
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 2: I go out, like you know, I will pay for

482
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 2: our meals, but obviously I'm going to have like a

483
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 2: more expensive portion. Yeah, because I got more. The same

484
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 2: thing was like sushi, I'll get more because I can

485
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 2: eat more. It makes sense that as someone who's it's

486
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 2: like the good old thing of like everyone split the bill,

487
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 2: but the guy over there got like a the Prime

488
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 2: Prime New York stake and I got a salad.

489
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,480
Speaker 3: Like what's going on here? Like this isn't fair? Yeah,

490
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 3: back to that.

491
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you just can't have a conversation with him.

492
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 1: I agree. Update. Oh boy, I expected to get like

493
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: three responses and I'm overwhelmed and can't keep up. To

494
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 1: answer some common questions and give a little more relationship context.

495
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 1: We lived together for a year. He supported me while

496
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 1: I finished grad school and looked for a job. Now

497
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: I'm working. He got into grad school elsewhere, so we're

498
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 1: doing long distance until he graduates. Only a two year program.

499
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 3: Wait, also, you're long a long distance. That's like the

500
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,399
Speaker 3: biggest thing. Wait what hold on?

501
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: Was that explained before?

502
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 3: They said they were doing long distance and I totally

503
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 3: forgot about that?

504
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 2: Wait, how does this make any sense to that?

505
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,159
Speaker 1: Are you like paying for me?

506
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 2: What do you guys have a shared budget from food?

507
00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 3: I'm very okay. Go on, go on.

508
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 1: We are engaged and already treat our finances as being

509
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,199
Speaker 1: combined because we are committed to each other and our partnership.

510
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 1: He is not a selfish person or a man child.

511
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,600
Speaker 1: When we are together. He contributes equally to household labor.

512
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 1: The few months we were both working, we contributed equally

513
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 1: to finances. It's my turn to support him a little

514
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: more in this season of life, and I'm okay with that.

515
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: I'm not going to ask him to contribute to groceries

516
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 1: while he's here. We also aren't breaking up over this.

517
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,400
Speaker 1: It really is one problem that I believe we can

518
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 1: work through. He is so generous to me in so

519
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: many other ways. We just have two completely different relationships

520
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: with food and are struggling to reconcile them. I did

521
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 1: also see that men do need to eat a lot

522
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: more than I anticipated, which was good context for me

523
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 1: to enter the conversation with.

524
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 2: You don't have any like male friends or like any exes?

525
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, every man?

526
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 1: I know you ever been around to eat like literally,

527
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,240
Speaker 1: like I don't know twelve year old boys. They will

528
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 1: drink a whole gall of milk in front of you.

529
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 2: It's disgusting. Yeah, but we can do it.

530
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: And then eat like five burgers and three hot dogs

531
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 1: and then be like, oh, oh, is there any more left?

532
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 1: And it's like what if? Are you just a vacuum?

533
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: I am?

534
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 3: Thank you for asking.

535
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 1: To those of you who gave suggestions for cheaper protein options,

536
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 1: thank you. That's probably going to be our path forward

537
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,439
Speaker 1: because I want him to feel full and happy and

538
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: have no plan of forcing him to eat less by

539
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 1: withholding food or money. When we have chicken, he'll take

540
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 1: a larger portion. When we have a nicer food, he'll

541
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,399
Speaker 1: have the same meat portion as me, but add a

542
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: nagg or two. I think a big part of this

543
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: was filtering through your comments and seeing which felt true

544
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 1: as what was really bothering me about the issue. That

545
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: helped me approach the conversation from a perspective where I

546
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,719
Speaker 1: could present why I was feeling upset, and we were

547
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: able to find a solution together the rest my comments.

548
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,159
Speaker 1: Comment number one says, I'm confused. How are you in

549
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: a long distance relationship but sharing meals all the time?

550
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: How is it our budget? Whose house slash groceries are these?

551
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: If it's yours, then ask him to cut back or

552
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,360
Speaker 1: contribute financially. That was also my.

553
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 3: Question, Yeah, big one.

554
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,360
Speaker 1: If it's his, why the f do you care? Oh

555
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: and there's a second update. Okay, just a little more clarification.

556
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 1: We don't only eat like meat and rice and salmon

557
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,919
Speaker 1: is not a normal meal for us. We've been dealing

558
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: with so major power outages due to high winds and

559
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: basically lost everything in our fridge where the chicken was,

560
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 1: and we're forced to cook something from frozen and salmon

561
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: seemed to be the best option.

562
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with all those comments.

563
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I kind of want an answer of the long

564
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 2: distance thing too.

565
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 1: I want to know, like how does the how is

566
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: this working? If you're long distance? Like I don't understand,

567
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: Like you do you have like two like do you

568
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: send him money or something? I don't. I don't even

569
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: know because.

570
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 2: I know the long it's the again, they share their budgets,

571
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 2: So that's why I think is happening is even if

572
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 2: they're doing long distance that like I don't know, very

573
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 2: confused by that. Maybe he comes to visit or vice versa.

574
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 2: They come to visit and like they shared the budget

575
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 2: for food, but he's spending a lot of money on

576
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 2: food because he wants double the meat. I know there's

577
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 2: other recipes out there. Tuna's the chicken of the sea.

578
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 2: I don't know, you like salmon, there's tuna.

579
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: Tuna's pretty cheap. We do normally eat cheaper proteins, but

580
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 1: he still takes double of them. Veggies we eat. But

581
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,719
Speaker 1: we could absolutely work more into the diet and I

582
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: really appreciated some of the suggestions on how to not

583
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: make it feel like eating vegetables. And yes, he does

584
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 1: kind of eat like a toddler, so do I. Okay,

585
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 1: I'd say I eat more like an eight year old.

586
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: We're both working on building healthier food habits, which I

587
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 1: think is a journey you're on your entire life, and

588
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 1: that's the end.

589
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 3: I need answers of the long distance How does it work?

590
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:49,719
Speaker 1: Yeah?

591
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 2: Maybe, like again, if it's like we're having like little

592
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 2: dates of like we spent the money for our meals,

593
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 2: Like I made this. He made this when he's over

594
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 2: there and we're doing a FaceTime and you just see

595
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 2: him eating like three stacks of steak or.

596
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: Do you just like have like a credit card and

597
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: like you just see, Ah he spent you know, two

598
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: hundred of groceries. Again, Ah, I'm gonna kill him or.

599
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 3: I don't know, long distance or not.

600
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 2: When it comes to this, definitely have a conversation with

601
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 2: him of why are we spending so much money on food?

602
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 2: Or the budget for food is too much. We need

603
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 2: to cut back and we need to find alternatives. If not,

604
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,120
Speaker 2: you pay for your own, like your own meals because

605
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 2: you want triple the protein and I can't eat as

606
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 2: much and I'll pay for my own meals kind of thing.

607
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,479
Speaker 2: It does sound sounds does sound ridiculous, but something's got

608
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 2: to happen. Or you're just gonna keep getting upset when

609
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 2: he eats food, which you shouldn't. But yeah, hopefully you

610
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 2: guys can work it out.

611
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I just feel like this isn't

612
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: really that big of a deal. This is just yeah,

613
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: a man eating.

614
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 2: This is just a man eating because like op he said,

615
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 2: like he's not like he doesn't have a bad relationship

616
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 2: with food.

617
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 3: He just is a vortex.

618
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, like he can eat a lot of food and

619
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 2: I can't eat as much food as he does. That

620
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 2: just sounds like a normal, yeah relationship.

621
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: Some people could eat, some people can't.

622
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: Carly literally is like I can't eat anymore. Take my

623
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 2: food and I go yay, Yeah, I go wow more.

624
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like I don't know. I just I just

625
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 1: feel like it's really not too big of a deal.

626
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 1: But also I don't know your financial situation, so you.

627
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: Know it if you really are gonna I mean the

628
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: good old college budget, you know, when you're like cup

629
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 2: noodles every night.

630
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, does suck.

631
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 2: No, literally not healthy. But hopefully guys can find like

632
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 2: a nice middle ground. But if it's really that much

633
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 2: of a struggle there there are some videos online and

634
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,959
Speaker 2: some people are like you all you need is this eggs.

635
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,959
Speaker 3: Eggs shouldn't be that expensive, and then and oats.

636
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,120
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story. And we

637
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:56,719
Speaker 1: got another one. I'm a run up.

638
00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 2: My girlfriend got jealous of my therapist and it be

639
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 2: came a deal breaker.

640
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: Ooh, that sounds very therapeutic.

641
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 2: I twenty seven mail have been dating lol La twenty

642
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: four female. For about six months things have been going

643
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 2: really well, and I genuinely like her. I have a

644
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: chronic pain from disc problems and have dealt with it

645
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: since I was a teenager. By the way, this comes

646
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: from user final Remote thirty sixty nine. And if you

647
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

648
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 2: slash Okay story Time supper at it. I'm Keon and

649
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 2: I'm Savannah, and we're here to give good advice Goofily,

650
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

651
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 2: what we do, so let us know what you'd do

652
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: in the comments. As Opie says, I go to physical

653
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 2: therapy and get consistent massages to manage the pain and

654
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 2: both help me a lot with what would otherwise be debilitating.

655
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 2: I go to a massage and facial chain for my

656
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 2: massages because it is fairly affordable and easy to get into.

657
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,479
Speaker 2: About two years ago, the massage therapist I had been

658
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 2: seeing for several years retired and recommended that I start

659
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:55,960
Speaker 2: seeing her coworker, Sarah. Sarah is probably in her early twenties,

660
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 2: though I honestly do not know her exact age. She

661
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 2: has been very effective in helping with my pain management.

662
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 2: I have tried other massage therapists at the SPA just

663
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 2: to shop around, but ultimately she is the best at

664
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 2: the deep tissue work that I need. When Lola and

665
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 2: I became official and discussed boundaries, I told her that

666
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 2: I get regular massages for my back pain and that

667
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: the therapist is a woman who is roughly our age.

668
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 2: Lola was fine with this and said she trusted me

669
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 2: to be loyal and she trusted Sarah to be professional.

670
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 2: Sarah is, in fact very professional. When we talked during

671
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 2: a massage, it is exclusively about my back, and she

672
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: only addresses me as mister, my name or sir. Here's

673
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 2: where the problem started. About a week ago, I gifted

674
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,320
Speaker 2: my girlfriend a gift card for a facial at the

675
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 2: place where I get my massages. We went together to

676
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 2: get her facial and for me to get my massage.

677
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 2: Sarah came out and called me back to the massage

678
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 2: room before Lola's esthetician came to get her, so Lola

679
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 2: saw what Sarah looked like for the first time. When

680
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 2: we got home, Lola told me we needed to talk.

681
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 2: She said she wanted to go back on being okay

682
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,479
Speaker 2: with me getting massages because she was not aware that

683
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 2: Sarah was quote unquote that pretty. She said that because

684
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 2: I am taken, it was inappropriate for me to pay

685
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 2: a pretty girl to quote unquote rub up on me

686
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 2: like that. I told her that this hurt my feelings

687
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 2: and that I am not attracted to Sarah, nor is

688
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: she attracted to me. I explained that I pay her

689
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 2: because I need very intense work, and that there is

690
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 2: nothing sensual about getting an elbow digging into your lower back.

691
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 2: I also pointed out that it felt really unfair to

692
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 2: both of us for her to go back on her

693
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,440
Speaker 2: word just because she thought Sarah was quote unquote pretty.

694
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 2: I am confused about why Lola thinks that Sarah simply

695
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 2: existing is a threat, especially given that she looks nothing

696
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 2: like my girlfriend and I very obviously have a type,

697
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 2: which is my girlfriend. There has never been any infidelity

698
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 2: on either side of the relationship. We are both very

699
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: split on this. Lola says it is fine if I

700
00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 2: continue seeing a younger female therapist, as as long as

701
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 2: it's not someone I'm obviously seeing because she is attractive.

702
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 3: I say it's.

703
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 2: Unfair to go back on an agreement when I was

704
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 2: upfront about seeing a female therapist from the very beginning,

705
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 2: and again she said she was okay with it in

706
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 2: the beginning. I also tried to explain that I have

707
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 2: shopped around and no one else is nearly as effective

708
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 2: with the deep tissue work that I need in order

709
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 2: to function without pain. We have both been very respectful

710
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,480
Speaker 2: in calm when disagreements have come up in the past,

711
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 2: and we have remained respectful during this one as well. However,

712
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,680
Speaker 2: we cannot seem to come to a resolution. We share

713
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:37,959
Speaker 2: a friend group, and our friends refuse to take sides,

714
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 2: saying they can see both perspectives. Because of that, we

715
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 2: decided to come to the Internet together to ask for advice. Ah,

716
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: the good old place where you're gonna have a lot

717
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 2: of fun. People are gonna be pretty pretty blunt. OPI ask,

718
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 2: is there a resolution that can make both of us

719
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 2: happy in this situation?

720
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: And we have an update.

721
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,160
Speaker 1: I mean, I just think she needs to get over it. Truthfully,

722
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 1: this is her insecurity talking. And if she really believes

723
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,920
Speaker 1: that that's gonna be like the final straw of this

724
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,240
Speaker 1: relationship or something like that's gonna be a deal breaker,

725
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: that's on her, not on you. Because no one's doing.

726
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 2: Anything wrong, No one's doing it.

727
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 3: It's like your dentist is hot, your doctor is hot.

728
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:23,280
Speaker 2: This is your physical therapist that helps you and she's

729
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 2: the best for you.

730
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 3: And the fact that your girlfriend.

731
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,879
Speaker 2: Is upset about that and she's like you can get

732
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:30,800
Speaker 2: it from somebody else, but just not hurt because she's

733
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: hot and she's not even your type you're not into her,

734
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: is like it's very weird.

735
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 1: And you have been like and it's also like, it's

736
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: not like you haven't been to other people. You have

737
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: been other people. You've literally, as you said, shopped around,

738
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 1: like to see which one's the best. This girl happens

739
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 1: to be the best, and she just happens to be

740
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 1: pretty as well.

741
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,720
Speaker 3: But again that's in Lola's mind.

742
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, sure, Sarah could be very objectively pretty, but

743
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,880
Speaker 2: in Op's mind, not pretty. Not attracted to her, Like

744
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 2: she's great, but I'm attracted. I have a very specific

745
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:08,720
Speaker 2: type aka my girlfriend, Lola. It's very interesting, very odd.

746
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 2: I don't know, man, this seems very breakup worthy if

747
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 2: she keeps going on this this tie rate, especially when

748
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 2: you guys agreed, Will agreed upon this in the beginning

749
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 2: of your relationship and was like everything was cool.

750
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, like, would you have to, like now show her

751
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: pictures of like your doctor and show her pictures of

752
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: like like you know, your dentist or your I don't

753
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: know other people that people have you're op toptrist? Does

754
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 1: do you need to show a picture of that too?

755
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 1: Like you can't have a hot person like be your

756
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 1: like therapist, Like it's just that is just nonsense to me.

757
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 3: Hey, yeah, you can't listen to Okay storytime because they're

758
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 3: all hot?

759
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just betrayal.

760
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 3: Right there, what can I say? We have an update.

761
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,680
Speaker 2: Lola and I read all the comments and we discussed

762
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 2: them together. We did not expect more than a few

763
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 2: responses and definitely did not expect the extremely harsh ones

764
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 2: toward Lola. You came to the internet, what did you expect?

765
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're gonna be really mean.

766
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 2: I will be honest and say they made me feel

767
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 2: defensive of her, but Lola wanted to think everyone instead,

768
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,359
Speaker 2: they were really a wake up call. Long story short,

769
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 2: we have amicably broken up.

770
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: Wow, that's great. So she really just couldn't get out.

771
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 3: You couldn't handle it.

772
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:28,280
Speaker 2: She couldn't handle it, like OP not cheating, OP faithful.

773
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,839
Speaker 2: But I guess this was a control thing of like,

774
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 2: if you can't do this for me, I'm out.

775
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 1: That's crazy. That's not even like, that's not a normal

776
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: response like her not op, yes, sure, that's you can

777
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 1: do whatever you want. But Lola's response of just being

778
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:51,280
Speaker 1: intimidated by like other girls who she thinks are pretty,

779
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: like what a way to go through life? Yeah, that's crazy.

780
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 2: Hey, Lola, I guess you should train to be a

781
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:58,320
Speaker 2: pet now.

782
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, since you know those are the only people who

783
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: are hot.

784
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 2: The longer version is that Lola initiated the breakup because

785
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 2: she does not think she can contribute healthily to a

786
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 2: relationship right now.

787
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 3: Okay.

788
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 2: I did not mention this originally because there are a

789
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 2: lot of stigmas around it and I did not want

790
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:16,960
Speaker 2: to influence the responses.

791
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 3: But Lola does have bpdha.

792
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 2: She believed that she was managing it well without intervention,

793
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,560
Speaker 2: but seeing the responses to a post she approved and

794
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 2: thought she was right, it made her realize she needs

795
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 2: support before being in a relationship.

796
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 3: I guess I don't know.

797
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 1: I don't think like bipolar or BBD.

798
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

799
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 1: I I don't know if you can blame it on that,

800
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,759
Speaker 1: because I think it's more more to it.

801
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 2: But you know what, at that point, especially for someone

802
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 2: like that, you just have to respect their wishes. You

803
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,439
Speaker 2: can't you can't change it, and that's honestly a very

804
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 2: mature thing to do rather than like just keep butting heads.

805
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 1: And like blame it on you know, op and whatnot.

806
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 2: So I will give props to Lola being like, you

807
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 2: know what, I don't think I'm mentally ready for this

808
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: because obviously this is not healthy for me, definitely not

809
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: healthy for you. We have to break up just because

810
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: it's just not going to work, which means that Lola

811
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:16,800
Speaker 2: needs to talk to someone, go see someone. And that's great,

812
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 2: good for her to realize that, and like honestly own it.

813
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 3: Good on that.

814
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 2: It does suck that you have to break up. But

815
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 2: if this was going to be continuing down that path,

816
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,000
Speaker 2: I don't think there was going to be a resolution

817
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 2: because no one was going to be happy in this.

818
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 2: If someone gave up, you know, if you gave up

819
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 2: Sarah your massage therapist, or if she allowed you to

820
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,879
Speaker 2: keep seeing Sarah, no one was going to win.

821
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true. I feel like there was no there

822
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 1: was not going to be a compromise. Here, it was

823
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 1: either all or nothing, and neither of you wanted to

824
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 1: give up what you believed in. So I mean, I

825
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 1: do think it was I do think that it's like

826
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,439
Speaker 1: extreme to like, you know, break up over this.

827
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 2: There's probably more. I mean, op, you did say there

828
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 2: was like more underlying things.

829
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, as well, but it's just like to be that

830
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 1: insecure that it like ruins you know something that something

831
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,399
Speaker 1: good too, Yeah, something good. It didn't seem like that,

832
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: Like you know, I obviously we don't know all the

833
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 1: issues in the relationship, but I mean that one seemed

834
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: to be the main one, and like that's I don't know,

835
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: I feel like that's an easy fix. But I don't know,

836
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 1: Like obviously I don't have bipolar or anything, so I

837
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 1: don't know how that like relates to it. But you know,

838
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've just never really been intimidated by

839
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: other women.

840
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,400
Speaker 2: I support other women. Yeah, no, I think they just

841
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 2: teach their own Yeah. I mean again, this shouldn't control

842
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 2: her relationship or her for you know, her future relationships.

843
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,919
Speaker 2: But hopefully she sees it now and understands like that's

844
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 2: not okay, especially when especially in this scenario. So maybe

845
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 2: she has some more trauma or something that she experienced

846
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 2: in the past, which again can relate to it. But

847
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 2: I think breaking up was the best thing you guys

848
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 2: can do. There's a little bit left, let's go and

849
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 2: finish it up. Opie continues, saying, we had a long

850
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 2: conversation where she said that while she really likes me,

851
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:09,240
Speaker 2: she needs.

852
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 3: To work on herself. First.

853
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,759
Speaker 2: We were friends before we dated, and she does not

854
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 2: want to lose a great connection because of her own issues.

855
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,799
Speaker 2: With my permission, she told our mutual friends that we

856
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: broke up, that we are still friends, and that the

857
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 2: breakup happened because she wants to seek therapy before being

858
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 2: romantically involved with anyone. I cannot say I'm not sad,

859
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 2: but I agree with her and I respect the choice.

860
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,240
Speaker 2: I would rather keep a great friend, and I'm glad

861
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 2: she is taking steps to better herself and that is

862
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 2: the end of that story. Yeah, I think it's it's

863
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 2: you know, it's just like shake hands, will be friends.

864
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 2: I feel like it's gonna it sucks because this is

865
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 2: people dating in the friend group always messes things up.

866
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: But as long as she's bettering herself great, As long

867
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 2: as you know, it's the best decision for both of you.

868
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 3: Great.

869
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that she went about it in a

870
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 1: very mature way. At first, I see, like it seemed

871
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 1: like she was kind of being controlling and you know,

872
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 1: like she was letting her insecurity get in a way

873
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 1: of her relationship. But then she kind of, you know,

874
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: when she read the comments, was like, oh, okay, so

875
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: this is my issue. Let me work on this then,

876
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: and she, you know, kind of took it as a

877
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: very matureish She had a very mature response to it. Yeah,

878
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 1: and kind of went about it, I think in like

879
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: a very good way. So good for you, Lola, even

880
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: though I didn't like in the beginning, but now I'd

881
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 1: respect you.

882
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's the end of this story. We're going

883
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 3: on to the next one. Hey, it's key on your

884
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 3: favorite Filipino. Here.

885
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories. But here's

886
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 2: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

887
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 1: I tried to pair my girlfriend with my brother and

888
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 1: it backfired hard.

889
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:46,479
Speaker 3: Saw that one coming.

890
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: My girlfriend, twenty one female, and I, twenty one male,

891
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,399
Speaker 1: have been dating for about seven months now. We both

892
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 1: used to work at the same restaurant, and I asked

893
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: her out. I've always felt like we were very different people,

894
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,320
Speaker 1: but that's what I liked about our relationationship. I feel

895
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 1: like I'm always learning something by being around her and

896
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 1: try my best to indulge in her interests. By the way,

897
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: this comes from Worried Prize fifty three eighty seven, and

898
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

899
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,800
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay story time Sepreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Keon,

900
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: and we're here to give some good advice goofly, but

901
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: we do not have all of the answers. We'd only

902
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 1: tell you what we would do in this situation, but

903
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 1: let us know what you would do in the comments.

904
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: As Opie says, three months ago, I introduced her to

905
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: my family and they all seem to like her, especially

906
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: my brother twenty mail. I didn't really think much of

907
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: it and was happy to see them get along since

908
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: I'm very close to my brother, But I've realized over

909
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,919
Speaker 1: time that they just fit way better with each other.

910
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 1: They both have the same interest in movies, books, music, sports, foods,

911
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: you name it. Although my girlfriend was hesitant at first

912
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,840
Speaker 1: about it, I encouraged her to go for things alone

913
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: with my brother if it wasn't something I was really

914
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 1: into and they both had a great time. And I

915
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: know just having the same hobbies sounds trivial, but it's

916
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 1: also their personalities. They're both very free spirited and adventurous,

917
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: and I can't help but notice that they look so

918
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 1: much happier with each other than with me. Sometimes I

919
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: feel really out of place around them, as if I'm

920
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 1: not supposed to be there. But I swear this is

921
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,919
Speaker 1: not out of jealousy. I just genuinely think they're better

922
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,399
Speaker 1: for each other. I love both of them, and if

923
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: this is what makes them happy, then I'd rather they

924
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 1: date each other and let me move out of their way.

925
00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: I'm not exactly sure how to execute this or talk

926
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 1: about this with either of them, though. How do I

927
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: go about setting them up? There's an updates?

928
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,319
Speaker 3: Whoa that was? That's a little let me let me

929
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 3: absorb all of that. What?

930
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 2: No? Literally no, I okay, that's a very I don't

931
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 2: even know is that is that a mature thing? But like, wow,

932
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 2: you guys really connect, Like you guys share the same interest.

933
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: You're dating me?

934
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,799
Speaker 3: But you like you guys are cool? Buddy, buddy? Are

935
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 3: you just not into your girlfriend?

936
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't know.

937
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 2: I mean I I like you, you can be friends.

938
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 2: I don't know.

939
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 3: It's very interesting.

940
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 1: One time, my sister was seeing this guy and my

941
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 1: mom thought he was better for me, and she's like,

942
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,439
Speaker 1: you should set them up, and she's like, yeah, no,

943
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: and yeah, it was like really weird. It's just a

944
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,720
Speaker 1: weird thing. I don't know. Like some people do connect better,

945
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean they have to like date together.

946
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, especially.

947
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: If like you're dating and I don't know, why do

948
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 1: you want.

949
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: To especially when yeah, if you guys are together still

950
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 2: and you haven't broken up, that's kind of weird.

951
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: That is weird. Why do you want to share it

952
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: with your brother? I understand that, like maybe it like

953
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 1: they're happier together, but like, I don't know, she she's

954
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 1: choosing you, So I feel like that, Yeah, I don't know.

955
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 2: I feel like before you start setting them up, maybe

956
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:51,279
Speaker 2: I don't even know. I think one first is because

957
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: you said it wasn't jealousy, but you're like, oh, they

958
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 2: look like such a happy couple. If you really aren't

959
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 2: happy in your relationship or you think things aren't going

960
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 2: well in your relationship, and why you want do you

961
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 2: want to continue it? If you want to continue it

962
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 2: to have a conversation with your girlfriend. If too, you're

963
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 2: like I kind of checked out, break up with her,

964
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 2: stop stop being in a relationship with her. Then let

965
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,080
Speaker 2: them figure it out. This is weird that you're still

966
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 2: in the middle of your relationship thinking, you like, maybe

967
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 2: I should set them up.

968
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It's this is not a normal

969
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,360
Speaker 1: thought to have, Opie. I don't know. I never I

970
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 1: never think that.

971
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 3: I never think that too.

972
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:29,280
Speaker 2: You know, Carly gets so like that, she gets along

973
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 2: with like all my guy friends, she should date all

974
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 2: of them.

975
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It is weird. I don't know.

976
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 1: Weird people choose each other for a reason, So I

977
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't think you have to bruin this relationship.

978
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: Is make your brother half I don't though.

979
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 3: I don't know.

980
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 2: If she's openly flirting with your your brother and like

981
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 2: they're flirting with each other, that's one thing. But if

982
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 2: they just get along and like they like things, that's

983
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,759
Speaker 2: good for you. Good. Yeah, I'm very confused.

984
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:58,040
Speaker 3: Are you just not happy in your relationship?

985
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:01,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. There is an update. I'll cut

986
00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: to the chase. After writing that post, I did a

987
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 1: lot of introspection and self reflection. I think a lot

988
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 1: of people caught this, but I do indeed suffer from

989
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: low self esteem and struggle with low confidence. I didn't

990
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: want to acknowledge it, but it did get in the

991
00:46:16,719 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 1: way of my relationships. Often. I'm a brutally honest man,

992
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 1: and that is exactly what I did. I was very

993
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: honest about all of this to my girlfriend. I didn't

994
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,400
Speaker 1: tell her that I thought my brother and her were soulmates,

995
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 1: but I told her that sometimes I feel like I

996
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,879
Speaker 1: can't directly connect with her because we're so different, and

997
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: what she said really changed my perspective on our relationship.

998
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 1: She said that she loves that I'm different and compliment

999
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,560
Speaker 1: her in a way that completes her. She also expressed

1000
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 1: that she would want to get more involved in my hobbies.

1001
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: So the past few months we've spent time doing random

1002
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:52,399
Speaker 1: things together that we've individually enjoyed, and it's turned out

1003
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 1: great for us. She makes me really happy, and I

1004
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 1: try my best to make her life better too. I've

1005
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 1: also met her family now, and they're all lovely people

1006
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:05,320
Speaker 1: as well. I mean, cool, you did it, I yeah,

1007
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: you sat and added conversation and it turned.

1008
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 2: Out well you're like, wait, this girl likes me. Yeah,

1009
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 2: and again, yeah, I'm from the low self esteem. I

1010
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 2: hope this boosted your confidence and made your relationship even stronger.

1011
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 1: I like, honestly, Op, I like your response of being like,

1012
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: maybe she deserves better rather than like tearing her down,

1013
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 1: because I feel like that's what a lot of guys do. Yeah,

1014
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:31,479
Speaker 1: if like another person is you know, if another guy

1015
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 1: is talking to your girl, you know, then you get

1016
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: threatened and they're like then they're like, my girl's doing

1017
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 1: this and na da da, and she's like going after

1018
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 1: all these guys and she's just you know, friendly and

1019
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 1: too friendly to day.

1020
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, a question of like why she with me? Like

1021
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 2: what do I got?

1022
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Instead, it didn't go to like what's wrong with her?

1023
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 1: It went to how am I feeling? Which I think

1024
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: is a very mature thing of you to do, because

1025
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,640
Speaker 1: not a lot of men, I feel are threatened.

1026
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's good on you that you're like I

1027
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 2: want her happy?

1028
00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: Yes, Like that's so sweet of you. That's like an

1029
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,200
Speaker 1: actual genuine human concern for someone.

1030
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,600
Speaker 2: But it's sorry, die, I don't even want to cut

1031
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 2: you off.

1032
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 1: Go ahead, but no, no, that's that's basically it.

1033
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, she should be happy with you,

1034
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 2: you should be happy with.

1035
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: Her, right thing.

1036
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 2: It looks like you guys genuinely care for each other.

1037
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, And there's like sometimes opposites attract I've always been

1038
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 1: attracted to opposites always, And that's just I don't know,

1039
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:37,120
Speaker 1: what is your opposite, my opposite someone like really nerdy, boring,

1040
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,040
Speaker 1: like doesn't like I'm the star of the relationship, which

1041
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 1: is what I need. I have to be the star.

1042
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,879
Speaker 2: Sorry, I got no one in my wheelhouse for you.

1043
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:51,759
Speaker 1: No, and that's why I'm here. But I yeah, I

1044
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: feel like I don't know, it's just there. I feel

1045
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 1: like a lot of times men just get threatened when

1046
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 1: they're woman like talks to someone else, like you know,

1047
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 1: of the saying or of the opposite gender, and then

1048
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, like they're wanting to get with that person.

1049
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 1: They're wanting to do this, like how dare they blah

1050
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: blah blah, what's you know? What's wrong with me? Blah

1051
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:16,960
Speaker 1: blah blah. But instead you took it as this is

1052
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,080
Speaker 1: a time for me to reflect on how I feel

1053
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:21,919
Speaker 1: about this, rather than like, let's blame it on her,

1054
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 1: you know. So good for Europe.

1055
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 2: I love that you responded we had to have a

1056
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 2: conversation rather than like bring it up between all three

1057
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:30,879
Speaker 2: of you, like yeshould date.

1058
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would have been freaking weird. We still do

1059
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:37,440
Speaker 1: things together with my brother, and it's also a good time.

1060
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,319
Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day, the root

1061
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,959
Speaker 1: of all of this was indeed my insecurity. It really

1062
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: wasn't about my brother, because I think I would have

1063
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 1: been insecure if it was a friend or really anyone else. Besides,

1064
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,879
Speaker 1: it is true that I enjoy my brother's company because

1065
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 1: of the kind of person he is, so it has

1066
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 1: made sense for me to be with someone who is similar.

1067
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,439
Speaker 1: It attributes more to the fact that she fits really

1068
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 1: well in my life. I've also come to realize that

1069
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 1: I was looking at this from a very trivial perspective.

1070
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 1: My girlfriend is so much more than her hobbies and

1071
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: interest and there's so many other things about her that

1072
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 1: actually set her apart from the other people in my life.

1073
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 3: And that's the end of this story. We're going on

1074
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:16,800
Speaker 3: to the next one.

1075
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite Riley's girlfriend knows here We're

1076
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 1: going to get back to the stories. But here's three

1077
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1078
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 4: My father stole my savings to buy a house and

1079
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,080
Speaker 4: never put my name on it.

1080
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 1: Put my name on that house.

1081
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 4: I twenty four female, live with my boyfriend twenty seven

1082
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 4: male for one and a half years, and he has

1083
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 4: a mortgage. I lived with him since May six months.

1084
00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 4: He's well made, earns buckets more than me and never

1085
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 4: asked me for money to pay for things if he

1086
00:50:50,560 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 4: can help it. By the way, this comes from username

1087
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 4: medical by sixty forty nine, and if you want to

1088
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1089
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 4: I'm Vincent, I'm Savannah, I'm Riley, and guys, we're here

1090
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 4: to give good advice. Goofully, but I mean Savannah and I.

1091
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 4: We don't know all the answers. We know almost nothing,

1092
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 4: but we only know what we would do, So tell

1093
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 4: us what you would do. In the comments, Opie says

1094
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 4: that the deeds in the mortgage are all in his

1095
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 4: name since he bought it, and I am currently jobless

1096
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 4: as I got made redundant from the job I had,

1097
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:30,800
Speaker 4: so I can't help out much. I still pay twenty

1098
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,919
Speaker 4: percent to thirty percent of the bills, though, since it's

1099
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 4: only fair. I'm doing random jobs. I can find pet sitting,

1100
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 4: selling on vined, and temp admin to keep my account

1101
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 4: from going empty because my entire savings of forty five

1102
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 4: K since I was seventeen years old. All of her

1103
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,200
Speaker 4: savings that forty five ks and seventeen years old are

1104
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 4: with her dad. He bought the house next door to

1105
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 4: put on rent and the property is going in his

1106
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 4: will for me and my two siblings. I thought it

1107
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:07,280
Speaker 4: was a good future investment since I got my forty

1108
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,480
Speaker 4: five K back with interest, which would put me at

1109
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,960
Speaker 4: fifty K and one and a third houses to inherit.

1110
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 4: Since our family home goes solely to me and the

1111
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 4: new house will be split between me and my two siblings.

1112
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 4: My dad never steered me wrong before, so I did it.

1113
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 4: Being jobless, though, is getting difficult. I've had arguments about

1114
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 4: my money with my mom, probably getting me five K

1115
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:36,200
Speaker 4: of which she said was her money she's given to

1116
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 4: me my spending habits. She forces me to show her

1117
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 4: my bank account bill's, which she says I shouldn't be

1118
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,920
Speaker 4: paying because it's not my house. Really, any money that

1119
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 4: leaves my account since I left, because the forty five

1120
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 4: K was taken when I was with my parents and

1121
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 4: had a job. So Op's mom said things like, I

1122
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,760
Speaker 4: don't want you to have too much money, then spend

1123
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 4: it all. I don't know if I want to give

1124
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 4: you your money back because of him, I gave you

1125
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:09,760
Speaker 4: my five K, and now I'm struggling too, and similar things,

1126
00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:13,440
Speaker 4: even though they owe me that darn money in the

1127
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 4: first place. The recent argument was about my name being

1128
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 4: on the title deeds of my boyfriend's house. We thought

1129
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:25,360
Speaker 4: it'd be best to wait until marriage, but recently my

1130
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 4: BF suggested that I get my forty five K back.

1131
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 4: I could put some money in the house and get

1132
00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:34,839
Speaker 4: my name on the deed and the mortgage since I've

1133
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 4: been stressed and my mom is high strung about it.

1134
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 4: My parents both seem to think he's using me and

1135
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,239
Speaker 4: manipulating me to try to lower his mortgage now, but

1136
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 4: I've worked in remortgaging as a caseworker. This is normal,

1137
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:55,600
Speaker 4: isn't it. They hate that we bought two cats. They

1138
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,799
Speaker 4: think we're irresponsible. They don't like that I pay for

1139
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:01,879
Speaker 4: the cat's food and he pays for the litter. They

1140
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 4: hate any money I spend here. My mom says it

1141
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 4: was all a mistake and I would never be spending

1142
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:12,759
Speaker 4: so much money if I was still at home. It

1143
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,399
Speaker 4: sounds like you have an issue with mom and dad.

1144
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 4: It sounds like mom and dad don't like you in.

1145
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,800
Speaker 1: Charge of the money, or they just they don't trust

1146
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: you with it.

1147
00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 4: I think you have too much, like your parents have

1148
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 4: too much access. Your parents know everything that they're doing

1149
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 4: that you're doing with your money.

1150
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 1: My parents do too, My mom does. Yeah, my mom's

1151
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,640
Speaker 1: uh so it's not that I like have like linked

1152
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,239
Speaker 1: accounts or anything, like I have my own account, but

1153
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:42,239
Speaker 1: she obviously has like access to it, and she'll take

1154
00:54:42,400 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 1: but she takes money out of mine to like pay

1155
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,319
Speaker 1: for like car insurance or pay for you know, this

1156
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: and that and the other thing. So like that's how

1157
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:51,440
Speaker 1: she gets her money.

1158
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, for like stuff that they're helping you because you're

1159
00:54:54,160 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 4: still in their car insurance.

1160
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 1: Yeah car. Yeah, well car insurance. So the insurance is

1161
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:02,439
Speaker 1: in my name and her name family plan, family plan.

1162
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: Mostly because my mom just like she likes to have

1163
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,920
Speaker 1: things like that. She likes to be in control. But

1164
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: honestly do it because I don't want to do it.

1165
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,440
Speaker 4: Now they're saying I should only put my name on

1166
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,839
Speaker 4: the house, not the mortgage, that I shouldn't have to

1167
00:55:18,880 --> 00:55:22,280
Speaker 4: pay him or be on the mortgage. I think that's wrong.

1168
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 4: But now I'm starting to doubt myself. Okay, there's a verdict.

1169
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 4: What do you think so far?

1170
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:29,760
Speaker 1: One for a hole, two.

1171
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 4: For not the a home.

1172
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 1: Well, who's the a hole? Oh?

1173
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:33,200
Speaker 3: P yes?

1174
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 1: I mean is it her money or is it her

1175
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 1: and her dad's money? I don't like. That's where I'm

1176
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 1: kind of confused.

1177
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 4: So it was her money that she gave to her dad.

1178
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 4: I believe or or or her dad had access to it,

1179
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 4: because I know, like a lot of times like kids.

1180
00:55:51,239 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 4: Actually I'm not one harpsent. Sure, Riley, do we know

1181
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 4: if it? I think it?

1182
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 1: I think with five k forty five k and savies

1183
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: is struggling as their dad invested it in a house

1184
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,800
Speaker 1: facing financial and family attentions.

1185
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it is heard, but the dad invested it.

1186
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: Okay, So would she be the a hole for like

1187
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,760
Speaker 1: wanting it back, wanting it back and doing something different

1188
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 1: with it?

1189
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 4: Yes?

1190
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 1: No, it's your money. It's your money. You could do

1191
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:14,600
Speaker 1: whatever you And that's.

1192
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,160
Speaker 4: What the verdict is. The verdict is not the a hole.

1193
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 4: Relevant comments op should be looking into getting a good

1194
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:24,040
Speaker 4: job or she won't be in this mess. So op

1195
00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 4: I literally got made redundant, and I did have a

1196
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 4: job when everything went down. I also said, I'm taking

1197
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:36,240
Speaker 4: tempt jobs everywhere since I've had no luck with permanent ones.

1198
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:40,800
Speaker 4: I am trying comment your number one curious why will

1199
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 4: your siblings not be getting a share of the family home?

1200
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 4: Is the forty five k you mentioned in pounds or dollars?

1201
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,919
Speaker 4: That was an impressive amount for a seventeen year old.

1202
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:54,600
Speaker 4: Either way, if the forty five k was deemed a gift,

1203
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 4: then you really aren't going to be getting it back

1204
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 4: from your parents. Honestly, your parents don't sound like very

1205
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 4: honest or moral people, so I'd not be taking any

1206
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:09,439
Speaker 4: financial advice from them. Opie responds, I was and only

1207
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 4: child at the time my parents wrote their wills, so

1208
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 4: I was the only one mentioned to inherit it. I

1209
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:19,480
Speaker 4: asked them if they were going to change it for

1210
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 4: my siblings too, but they said it was too much hassle. Apparently,

1211
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 4: the forty five k is in pounds, and it took

1212
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 4: me from the age of seventeen to twenty three to

1213
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 4: save all of it because I started as an apprentice,

1214
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 4: so I didn't get much. I think you might be right.

1215
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:42,240
Speaker 4: I don't want to get legal about things, even if

1216
00:57:42,280 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 4: I can with the circumstances, but I might have to.

1217
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 4: There's an update over fifteen months later. So wait, thing's

1218
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 4: going to happen.

1219
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:55,040
Speaker 1: I got an idea, So let me show you this.

1220
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: First of all, hate the red light. Yellow light's okay,

1221
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 1: green leg Yeah, Opie is in the will and that's

1222
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 1: about all I got.

1223
00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 4: So op Opie was in the original will, but the

1224
00:58:10,280 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 4: two other siblings weren't at the time of the will writing.

1225
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 4: And the parents don't want to change it.

1226
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 1: That's crazy that they don't want to change it.

1227
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it's quote unquote too much hassle.

1228
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 1: So they're just not gonna be given.

1229
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,440
Speaker 4: Well, well it's not though. They're not getting the original

1230
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 4: family house. They're getting a third of the new the

1231
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 4: new house that they're buying.

1232
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:30,120
Speaker 1: Okay, So Opie gets the old house.

1233
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 4: Opie gets the old house or like interest on the

1234
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 4: money and a third of a house.

1235
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:39,800
Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, so we got this house, then we got

1236
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 1: to house.

1237
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 2: All right.

1238
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:45,080
Speaker 4: Update over fifteen months later. Hi, all, I want to

1239
00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:47,480
Speaker 4: start by saying thank you to everyone who commented on

1240
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 4: my original post and opened my eyes to cut to

1241
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:54,920
Speaker 4: the chase. My boyfriend is now my fiance and we

1242
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 4: are planning for our wedding in the next two or

1243
00:58:57,840 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 4: three years. Money a little well, I won't be putting

1244
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 4: my name on his deed until after we are married.

1245
00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 4: You are all right, and I think I was just

1246
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:12,360
Speaker 4: angry at my parents for tricking me, so I wanted

1247
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 4: to do something reckless to clarify some misunderstandings in the

1248
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 4: original post. I am from an Indian family and I

1249
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 4: was raised to obey every command that comes from my parents,

1250
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:26,320
Speaker 4: which is what made it difficult for me to stand

1251
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 4: up to them. I suffer with anxiety and depression, which

1252
00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:34,120
Speaker 4: I am now medicated for and doing well, which is

1253
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 4: what made it even harder. I was sheltered, coddled, and

1254
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:41,320
Speaker 4: I didn't know how the world worked because I had

1255
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 4: no understanding of selfish and greedy people. The forty five

1256
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 4: k in pounds that I lost was taken by my

1257
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 4: dad to buy the house next door to him and

1258
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 4: then rented out to my aunt who was being evicted

1259
00:59:56,360 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 4: from her flat at the time. I was told my

1260
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 4: name would be on the paperwork, but it wasn't. I

1261
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 4: have since grown a backbone, and my fiance has helped

1262
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 4: me demand some legal paperwork and contract of agreement for

1263
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 4: my dad to pay me back every penny with interest.

1264
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 2: Yes, oh wow.

1265
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:22,280
Speaker 4: Get that interest, girl, We need that. I've already received

1266
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 4: a good chunk of it. And it's going well. But yeah,

1267
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 4: I mean good. It sounds like things are working out.

1268
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 4: And get your money back. And I wonder how things

1269
01:00:34,440 --> 01:00:37,360
Speaker 4: went with the will I have some thoughts. Sarana's got

1270
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:37,760
Speaker 4: some more.

1271
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 1: This calls for a truly devastating realization. Also, here's op

1272
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 1: not being able to stick up for themselves. And look

1273
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 1: they have a little top hat because it's a top

1274
01:00:50,040 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 1: of the morning to you're Saint Patrick's day. Eh. And

1275
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 1: then and then uh oh yeah, I also drew. I

1276
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 1: see I drew the house over here. But then realize

1277
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 1: there's two houses. So then this is the old house

1278
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 1: that's Ope's house, and this is the house this is

1279
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: the new house that I forgot to label, but that

1280
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 1: is the house that everyone gets the one third of.

1281
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 1: Huh yeah yeah. And then I also put give me

1282
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 1: the money, because you gotta give Ope the money. And

1283
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 1: that's all all right.

1284
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 4: Fantastic now let's let's get into this. I think it's

1285
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:32,800
Speaker 4: just a continuation of the update. All right, So it's strained,

1286
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 4: but I think I have a bit more of my parents'

1287
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:38,919
Speaker 4: respect now as well. Since I've put my foot down

1288
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:41,760
Speaker 4: about my money, I should have it all back before

1289
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:45,000
Speaker 4: our wedding, which is something I wrote into the contract

1290
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,760
Speaker 4: since the money can be used in the wedding instead.

1291
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 4: Things are going well. I've grown from this and I'm

1292
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:54,760
Speaker 4: moving forward with a better understanding. In short, put your

1293
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,480
Speaker 4: foot down, don't let people walk all over you, and

1294
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 4: don't make decisions in anger. Thank you for opening my eyes.

1295
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:06,600
Speaker 4: Relevant comment comment are number one. Oh excellent, so good

1296
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 4: to hear. If I might just ask, is it really

1297
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 4: necessary to wait up to three years to get married.

1298
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:16,440
Speaker 4: No one has to have a huge, expensive wedding, and

1299
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,760
Speaker 4: just being married doesn't cost anything more than the cost

1300
01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 4: of two people living together, Ope, responds thankfully. My family

1301
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:27,160
Speaker 4: doesn't expect a big Indian wedding, and I've grown up

1302
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:29,280
Speaker 4: in the UK, so I have no interest in either.

1303
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,680
Speaker 4: To be honest, the two to three year mark is

1304
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 4: just an estimate. If we save money quickly enough, we'll

1305
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:39,760
Speaker 4: just do it next year. We're just extra cautious people,

1306
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 4: because the wedding will cost, the honeymoon will cost, and

1307
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,840
Speaker 4: we will still need money after that for paying for

1308
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:51,520
Speaker 4: all of that jazz. Okay, and then that's the end. Yeah,

1309
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:55,440
Speaker 4: finances are definitely a thing to take into consideration with

1310
01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:56,520
Speaker 4: all those things. So yeah, no

1311
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:59,160
Speaker 3: Rush, and that's the end of this story.