1
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,399
Speaker 1: Hey, bright Side fam, Hello Sunshine.

2
00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:08,959
Speaker 2: We have a deliciously exciting show lined up for you today.

3
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 2: Joining us is the fabulous Gobby Dalkin, cookbook author, chef,

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,600
Speaker 2: and food and lifestyle writer. Gobby will be sharing her

5
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,920
Speaker 2: secrets to sizzling summer eats and proving why women are

6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,680
Speaker 2: taking over the grill. Plus, you won't want to miss

7
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:26,560
Speaker 2: her incredible story about how slutty Brownies changed her career

8
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,880
Speaker 2: and hear her open up about her fertility journey. It's Tuesday,

9
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,400
Speaker 2: August sixth I'm Danielle Robe.

10
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,760
Speaker 1: And I'm Simone Voice, and this is the bright Side

11
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,760
Speaker 1: from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together

12
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:46,879
Speaker 1: to share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day. Okay, Besties,

13
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,000
Speaker 1: you've heard me say it more than once on our show.

14
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:54,760
Speaker 1: I believe dinner parties are the solution for everything, birthdays, breakups, pivots.

15
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 1: A dinner party just cures at all. Danielle, do you agree,

16
00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,240
Speaker 1: thoughts Simone?

17
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:02,440
Speaker 2: I love that for I don't agree, but I've also

18
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,840
Speaker 2: never been to a Simone dinner party. So maybe you

19
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,480
Speaker 2: could change my mind or my life.

20
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:10,280
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, let me change both. I'm so ready. Well,

21
00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:13,080
Speaker 1: our guest today is known for her life changing dinner

22
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,920
Speaker 1: parties and so much more. Gobby Dalkin is the chef

23
00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,480
Speaker 1: behind the popular website What's Gobby Cooking. She launched the

24
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,039
Speaker 1: website in two thousand and nine, right after she graduated

25
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,080
Speaker 1: from college and decided to go the culinary route, and

26
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,080
Speaker 1: now fifteen years later, Gobby has gone on to build

27
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:33,320
Speaker 1: an entire multimedia platform. I'm talking cookbooks, social media, and

28
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,360
Speaker 1: even a show on QVC. And here's the thing about Gobby.

29
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,800
Speaker 1: She's all about the California lifestyle. She's written a whole

30
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:43,039
Speaker 1: book about avocados, and she brings that sunny Calli perspective

31
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,720
Speaker 1: to everything she does. She really does.

32
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,800
Speaker 2: But last year, Gobby revealed that there was a lot

33
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,800
Speaker 2: more going on behind the scenes in her life. She

34
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,960
Speaker 2: shared that she and her husband had spent significant time

35
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,800
Speaker 2: on an IVF journey with the hope that they could

36
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:02,760
Speaker 2: conceive a second child, and after a miscarriage, a failed transfer,

37
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,520
Speaker 2: and a chemical pregnancy, they were out of embryos. In

38
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,320
Speaker 2: a post she made online, she urged her followers to

39
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,920
Speaker 2: remember that the path to motherhood isn't always linear.

40
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:17,280
Speaker 1: This launched a whole new conversation that Gobby has continued

41
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,280
Speaker 1: to engage in on Instagram. She's shown how she's given

42
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,280
Speaker 1: herself hormone injections, and she's also been a resource to

43
00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:27,920
Speaker 1: answer people's questions and just document her journey as she

44
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,840
Speaker 1: and her husband have continued the IVF process.

45
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,840
Speaker 2: And fertility challenges are more common than we all may think.

46
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,120
Speaker 2: This year, the US Department of Health and Human Services

47
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,080
Speaker 2: reported that millions of Americans have experienced infertility at some

48
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:45,000
Speaker 2: point in their lives. Even some of the most public

49
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,240
Speaker 2: women we know, like Michelle Obama, Brookshields, Nicole Kidman, They've

50
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,240
Speaker 2: all opened up about their own struggles with infertility, and

51
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,120
Speaker 2: the chances are we all know someone or are that

52
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,079
Speaker 2: someone who's been touched by this issue exactly.

53
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,400
Speaker 1: That's why treating everyone with compassion is so important, because

54
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,800
Speaker 1: you never know what people are going through, and we

55
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,200
Speaker 1: do have some good news to share. Earlier this year,

56
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,799
Speaker 1: Gobby announced that she is pregnant with our second child.

57
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,320
Speaker 1: So let's bring her in to get an update on

58
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,840
Speaker 1: all things Goby. Gobby Dalkin, Welcome to the bright Side.

59
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,320
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to be here. Thank you guys.

60
00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:21,359
Speaker 1: Gobby.

61
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,960
Speaker 2: California is so embedded into your brand's DNA. How do

62
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:30,200
Speaker 2: you describe the What's Gobby Cooking spirit, ethos and aesthetic?

63
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, well, A thank you for noticing that

64
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,320
Speaker 4: that is what we strive to do, so I'm honored

65
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,720
Speaker 4: that it's coming through. But I think What's Gobby Cooking

66
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:43,000
Speaker 4: is all about living a very happy, sunny, approachable life

67
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,760
Speaker 4: where food is really at the center of everything. Whether

68
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:51,560
Speaker 4: we're having a complicated conversation about something, it's done over food,

69
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,720
Speaker 4: because inherently that's what brings people together.

70
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,120
Speaker 2: There's also this like ease and comfort element there. I

71
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,200
Speaker 2: notice that you do a lot of comfort foods, but

72
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,240
Speaker 2: in a healthful way. As a Chicago and I have

73
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,600
Speaker 2: a particular love for that. How do you think that

74
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,600
Speaker 2: we can all channel the essence of the quintessential California

75
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,960
Speaker 2: girl in our food and embrace that lifestyle no matter

76
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:13,640
Speaker 2: where we're living.

77
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,600
Speaker 4: I think it's really all about using what is in

78
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,320
Speaker 4: season where you live and letting the ingredients shine. You

79
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,760
Speaker 4: don't need if you're cooking with stuff at the height

80
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,760
Speaker 4: of the season, you don't need to make it overly

81
00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,520
Speaker 4: fussy and make more work for yourself in the kitchen.

82
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,920
Speaker 4: I think you know if you just pick a couple

83
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,560
Speaker 4: things and let them do their job.

84
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:35,960
Speaker 3: You're going to be in a good place.

85
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,440
Speaker 1: Well, your philosophy and approach to cooking also has a

86
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,960
Speaker 1: lot to do with where you buy your food, right, Yeah.

87
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,400
Speaker 4: I mean, fortunately, I live in Los Angeles, so I

88
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 4: have access to some of the most incredible farmers markets.

89
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,839
Speaker 4: But I grew up in Arizona. I never went to

90
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,320
Speaker 4: a farmer's market. That's not a thing there. But I

91
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,920
Speaker 4: still think when you are going and searching, no matter

92
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,200
Speaker 4: where you are, you just are looking for things that

93
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,200
Speaker 4: are look the best, smell the best, and that way

94
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,160
Speaker 4: you're letting those flavors really shine.

95
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,080
Speaker 1: It's funny that you brought up farmers markets, because I

96
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,320
Speaker 1: think it's something that I take for granted living in LA.

97
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:11,640
Speaker 1: But whenever people are visiting or they're telling me things

98
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:16,159
Speaker 1: that they that remind them of LA, farmers markets really

99
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,760
Speaker 1: come to mind. So we are really lucky. I just

100
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,680
Speaker 1: needed to take a moment to acknowledge that we're so lucky.

101
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,520
Speaker 4: And it's so funny. I just got back from a

102
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,120
Speaker 4: book tour and even going to places where you think

103
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,240
Speaker 4: there would be farmers markets on every day of the week,

104
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,479
Speaker 4: it's not as much of a thing, like I would

105
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,919
Speaker 4: spend a lot of time with some of my friends

106
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,679
Speaker 4: in Dallas, and that's not something you do on the weekend.

107
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,039
Speaker 1: Well, you just brought up that you have been on

108
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,119
Speaker 1: a book tour, and I want to ask you about

109
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,880
Speaker 1: your most recent cookbook, which is called What's Gobby Cooking

110
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 1: Grilling all the Things, and it's geared toward anyone who

111
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,480
Speaker 1: might be intimidated by grilling. I think this is so

112
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,839
Speaker 1: important in America because grilling is not just an appliance,

113
00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,240
Speaker 1: it's not just a tool. It is an identity for

114
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,200
Speaker 1: a lot of people. And I always find it so

115
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:04,640
Speaker 1: interesting that advertisers make grilling ads for men, for dads,

116
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,960
Speaker 1: but they never make it for us. They never make

117
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:07,719
Speaker 1: it for the moms.

118
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:12,200
Speaker 4: We're trying, we're trying to pivot that frame of mind

119
00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,040
Speaker 4: as far as advertisers go. But you know, I had

120
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,080
Speaker 4: a girlfriend over a couple of years ago and we

121
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:19,719
Speaker 4: did an Insta live together and she had texted me

122
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,840
Speaker 4: and she said, I just want to feel confident turning

123
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 4: my grill on and off and not burning my food.

124
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,320
Speaker 3: Can you teach me that?

125
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:27,240
Speaker 1: Right?

126
00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:28,880
Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, of course, come over, let's

127
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 4: do it an insta live together. That way, if this

128
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,440
Speaker 4: is something people are interested in, we can share it

129
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:38,960
Speaker 4: with everyone. And the response was absolutely wild. There's a

130
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,440
Speaker 4: common theme from many people, both men and women, that

131
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,480
Speaker 4: they're just not comfortable grilling. So I wrote this book

132
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:48,800
Speaker 4: to demystify rilling and teach people that it really is

133
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,360
Speaker 4: just as easy as turning on your stove or your

134
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,640
Speaker 4: burner or your instant pot or your air fryer or

135
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:55,320
Speaker 4: whatever it is.

136
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,120
Speaker 3: You just have to know a couple basics.

137
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,640
Speaker 4: It's also one of the only grilling books written by

138
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,320
Speaker 4: a in the last ten years, so I feel very

139
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,240
Speaker 4: proud of that fact.

140
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,600
Speaker 1: I learned about the stock market from another woman, and

141
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,000
Speaker 1: so I think it's so important to have people like

142
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:16,200
Speaker 1: you educating us on the realms of life that are

143
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,080
Speaker 1: typically reserved for men. There's something that just makes it

144
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,360
Speaker 1: so much more approachable when you can actually learn about

145
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,400
Speaker 1: it from another woman, from a pier. So end of

146
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,760
Speaker 1: summer is upon us, we're in August already. What is

147
00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,240
Speaker 1: one tip that you can offer to anyone who wants

148
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,080
Speaker 1: to conquer cooking on the grill while we still can

149
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:33,680
Speaker 1: this season?

150
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:36,520
Speaker 4: I would say there are a couple of things you

151
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,640
Speaker 4: should keep in mind when you're grilling. Number One, you

152
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,640
Speaker 4: always have to preheat your grill, similar if you were

153
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,480
Speaker 4: preheating a cast iron skillet or a brazer or something

154
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 4: like that. You want those grill greats to be hot

155
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:52,440
Speaker 4: before you put anything on chicken, steak, fish, a peach, vegetables.

156
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,560
Speaker 4: That way, it's going to like cook quickly, and then

157
00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,320
Speaker 4: you don't flip it until it releases naturally. You don't

158
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,800
Speaker 4: lose any of the beautiful food to the grill grades

159
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 4: and you know it's ready to flip. So those two things,

160
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:09,120
Speaker 4: preheating and letting the food naturally release, are two of

161
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:12,440
Speaker 4: my biggest takeaways no matter where you are in your

162
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,520
Speaker 4: grilling career. And also, just don't be afraid to grill anything.

163
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,760
Speaker 4: I grill lettuce and I make grilled salads all summer long,

164
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,440
Speaker 4: and it just takes it up that slight notch and

165
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,040
Speaker 4: you feel like a total badass.

166
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:28,120
Speaker 1: Hell yeah, we love a grilled romaine awesome. I just

167
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,960
Speaker 1: have been so in love and infatuated with summer. I'm

168
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,480
Speaker 1: just here for the relaxation that it brings, this sense

169
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,600
Speaker 1: of recuperation and like feeling more rested and just these

170
00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:42,959
Speaker 1: longer days. I love it so much. I'm always thinking

171
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,960
Speaker 1: of how can I make it last longer? And I

172
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,520
Speaker 1: feel the same way about vacation, And for me, some

173
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,959
Speaker 1: of my best vacation memories are just like these really

174
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,080
Speaker 1: absurdly long dinners and like sitting in the moment and

175
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,679
Speaker 1: savoring it. So what are your tips for bringing that

176
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,920
Speaker 1: vacation feeling home through our meals?

177
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,640
Speaker 4: You are speaking my love language, because that is my

178
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,679
Speaker 4: favorite thing to do, and we aren't allowed to get

179
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,880
Speaker 4: on a plane right now, so we quite literally can't

180
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,600
Speaker 4: go on vacation because of where we are in our pregnancy.

181
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,840
Speaker 3: For me, it is finding those.

182
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,440
Speaker 4: Really special moments that you enjoyed on a trip, whether

183
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,760
Speaker 4: it was a year ago, five years ago, ten years ago,

184
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,240
Speaker 4: and then recreating an entire night around it. I started

185
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,720
Speaker 4: doing dinner parties and I would plan an entire dinner

186
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:29,280
Speaker 4: menu and have everyone bring a bottle of wine from

187
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:33,200
Speaker 4: that specific region, like Champagne, France, and come to my

188
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,760
Speaker 4: house for a menu curated with food that was inspired

189
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,240
Speaker 4: by that region of wine, and have this beautiful night

190
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,800
Speaker 4: that felt look at vacation, but we were very much

191
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:46,679
Speaker 4: in Los Angeles. But I think having that slight thematic

192
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,080
Speaker 4: nod to somewhere you would go on vacation and have

193
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,520
Speaker 4: a beautiful experience Like that is a really nice way

194
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:57,960
Speaker 4: to have a long summer, beautiful evening at home without

195
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,160
Speaker 4: having to get on a plane.

196
00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,640
Speaker 1: I love that idea, incorporating the destination into the theme.

197
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, or I mean, if you're not into wine, you

198
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,080
Speaker 4: do it via food, like I would love to do

199
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,800
Speaker 4: one from Tuscany and from somewhere in southern Spain or

200
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,800
Speaker 4: Morocco or whatever it is, and you just really curate

201
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,280
Speaker 4: a night around that and get all your guests involved

202
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,120
Speaker 4: in it as well, have them make a dish from

203
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,000
Speaker 4: that area, and that way, there's like a talking point.

204
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,319
Speaker 4: Who's been to Morocco? Who wants to go to Morocco?

205
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,680
Speaker 4: What do you want to do there? I love talking

206
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,800
Speaker 4: about travel, so like that to me is a great

207
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,000
Speaker 4: kickoff to an evening, a conversation with people who may

208
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,839
Speaker 4: or may not already be familiar with each other.

209
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,680
Speaker 1: It's a great idea. Gavi.

210
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,120
Speaker 2: I've been aware of your work since we met at

211
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,440
Speaker 2: the gym years ago, and you used to feed so

212
00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,440
Speaker 2: many people there. Your recipes and your food bring people

213
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,840
Speaker 2: so much joy. The thing I didn't know about you

214
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,880
Speaker 2: is that you were a private chef before all of this,

215
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 2: and I'm so curious what that aspect of your career

216
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,240
Speaker 2: taught you as opposed to culinary school.

217
00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,439
Speaker 3: Honestly, I could have skipped culinary school.

218
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,440
Speaker 4: I think culinary school teaches you the base and the formula,

219
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,880
Speaker 4: which certainly makes cooking easier because you're automatically just like

220
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,320
Speaker 4: a little bit more comfortable with winging it. But being

221
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,320
Speaker 4: a private chef, it's so funny because you are in

222
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,640
Speaker 4: someone's home, the heart of their home, where like everybody congregates,

223
00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:19,360
Speaker 4: you're feeding this person and their family, which is such

224
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,960
Speaker 4: an intimate thing, and you are exposed to all of

225
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,960
Speaker 4: their friends and family, so like you really become a

226
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,840
Speaker 4: part of their BAM. I'm lucky that the two families

227
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,319
Speaker 4: I private chef for were incredible. I think if you

228
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,600
Speaker 4: worked for a family who wasn't quite as welcoming, it

229
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,720
Speaker 4: would be a little bit harder of a career path.

230
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,800
Speaker 4: But both families I cook for were the most lovely

231
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,280
Speaker 4: human beings, and we would eat together and have a

232
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,360
Speaker 4: glass of wine together, so it was really nice. But

233
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:48,719
Speaker 4: it taught me how to stretch a menu because I

234
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,959
Speaker 4: would plan many times to cook for six and then

235
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,640
Speaker 4: twelve extra people would show up, So like, how do

236
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,440
Speaker 4: you shop at eight in the morning for six people

237
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,640
Speaker 4: and then get a call at three that like, oh,

238
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,880
Speaker 4: or how having four families over for dinner and there's

239
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,480
Speaker 4: no time to go to the store. How do you

240
00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,160
Speaker 4: pivot and like expand upon what you were doing?

241
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,680
Speaker 1: This sounds like my nightmare? How did you? How do

242
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:10,520
Speaker 1: you do that?

243
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,720
Speaker 4: You keep a stocked pantry, so like, if you're making

244
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,640
Speaker 4: steak and you had only bought steak.

245
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,000
Speaker 3: For six people, make a pasta, you make a rice.

246
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,200
Speaker 4: You like add things that are just already available to

247
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,080
Speaker 4: you where you're not having to like go find the

248
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,560
Speaker 4: produce or the protein or anything like that. I'm a

249
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,800
Speaker 4: big fan of doing like a small amount of whatever

250
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,040
Speaker 4: you buy steak, fish, chicken, and then having lots of

251
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,640
Speaker 4: sides so everyone has lots of options, but you're not

252
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:40,160
Speaker 4: necessarily having to eat six ounces of steak or whatever

253
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,760
Speaker 4: people think is a reasonable amount to serve themselves. It

254
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,600
Speaker 4: taught me to be very confident and flexible in the kitchen,

255
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:51,280
Speaker 4: which I think plays into what's God be cooking because

256
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,960
Speaker 4: there was no room to be like I hope this

257
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,840
Speaker 4: is okay, Like you fake it till you make it.

258
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,920
Speaker 3: Just pray that everyone is into it.

259
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,000
Speaker 2: So word on this street is that you were a

260
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,720
Speaker 2: private chef for Jessica Simpson.

261
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,880
Speaker 1: Was that one of the families that you were talking about.

262
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,199
Speaker 4: Yes, And I love her so much because her palette

263
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,240
Speaker 4: is my palette.

264
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,959
Speaker 3: We both she grew up in Texas.

265
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,200
Speaker 4: I grew up in Arizona after we left Chicago, so

266
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,240
Speaker 4: like we both love those southwestern Texmex flavors.

267
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,960
Speaker 3: So cooking for her was a true treat.

268
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,240
Speaker 4: Plus she had so many friends and people over all

269
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,360
Speaker 4: the time, people I'm still friends with to this day.

270
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,760
Speaker 3: So she was a good time.

271
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,599
Speaker 2: Was there a signature Jessica Simpson dish?

272
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,760
Speaker 4: I mean when I cooked for her, she was pregnant

273
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,760
Speaker 4: with her first daughter, Maxwell, so we were baking a lot.

274
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,480
Speaker 4: I have a recipe on my website called Slutty Brownie's

275
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:43,760
Speaker 4: that she single handedly took viral. She was on Leno

276
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,120
Speaker 4: one night. She did not tell me she was going

277
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,079
Speaker 4: to talk about them.

278
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,680
Speaker 1: Wait, you're behind the slutty brownie.

279
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, like the homemade scratch ones.

280
00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,040
Speaker 1: Yes, Wait what is this? What does the slutty Brownie

281
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:54,600
Speaker 1: educate me.

282
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,320
Speaker 4: Slutty brownie is a layer of cookie dough, a layer

283
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,560
Speaker 4: of oreos, and a layer of brownie her and you

284
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,480
Speaker 4: bake it all together.

285
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:02,360
Speaker 3: Listen.

286
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 4: I'm sure people in the fifties made this with Betty

287
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,040
Speaker 4: Crocker mix, but I make it all from scratch, so

288
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,000
Speaker 4: it's just like next level. And I would make them

289
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,120
Speaker 4: all the time for Jess and we would all eat

290
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:16,360
Speaker 4: them because they're delightful. And she was on Leno and

291
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,080
Speaker 4: did not give me a heads up sitting there at

292
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,920
Speaker 4: eleven o'clock at night with my boyfriend who's my husband

293
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,720
Speaker 4: now watching it and she Lenno's like, what are you craving?

294
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,040
Speaker 4: And She's like, well, you know, Godby's been making these

295
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,680
Speaker 4: things called slutty brownies. And Leno goes, well, what makes

296
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,360
Speaker 4: them slutty? We've never had this conversation. I've never talked

297
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,200
Speaker 4: to her about it. It's just like the name. And

298
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,920
Speaker 4: she goes, well, I guess it's because a lot of

299
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:46,360
Speaker 4: things go into them. And I'm crying laughing because she's

300
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,680
Speaker 4: just so funny and she knows her brand so well,

301
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,480
Speaker 4: and also in a full panic because my website breaks

302
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,840
Speaker 4: like twelve minutes later. Oh and it's like eleven pm

303
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,840
Speaker 4: at night. Everyone's trying to get this recipe. I'm like

304
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:03,440
Speaker 4: crying because my website's down. Anyways, it's a great recipe even.

305
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:03,840
Speaker 3: To this day.

306
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,000
Speaker 1: Was that a game changing moment in your career?

307
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, because it was really back when websites and blogs

308
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,760
Speaker 4: were just starting and things were just starting to take

309
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,840
Speaker 4: off on Pinterest, and like the idea of a viral

310
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,400
Speaker 4: recipe just started. So that was one of the first

311
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,920
Speaker 4: ones that ever really took off. And it's because of her.

312
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,200
Speaker 2: Okay, we have to take a quick break, but when

313
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,480
Speaker 2: we come back, New York Times best selling author and

314
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:31,640
Speaker 2: chef Gobby Dalkin shares a different kind of life changing moment,

315
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,320
Speaker 2: one that's set it off on a year's long fertility journey.

316
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:36,320
Speaker 1: That's after the.

317
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:50,320
Speaker 2: Break and we're back with Gobby Dalkin. So, Gobby, I

318
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,200
Speaker 2: want to talk about family because you are pregnant for

319
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,040
Speaker 2: the second time.

320
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 1: Congratulations, thank you.

321
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,440
Speaker 4: I mean I'm technically pregnant for like the twelfth time,

322
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 4: but this is the second one.

323
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,320
Speaker 3: That's Amazing's lock.

324
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,800
Speaker 2: Well, that's what I wanted to ask you about because

325
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 2: I know on social you've been really open about your

326
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,240
Speaker 2: entire fertility journey. But I actually don't quite know the

327
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,200
Speaker 2: whole story. Do you mind sharing what happened?

328
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 3: No, I don't.

329
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,240
Speaker 4: It's my favorite topic. So Thomas and I Thomas is

330
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 4: my husband. We started trying to get pregnant.

331
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,160
Speaker 3: Gosh, I don't know.

332
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,600
Speaker 4: I want to say in like twenty seventeen, and I

333
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,080
Speaker 4: think the first time we ever got pregnant. I remember

334
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,520
Speaker 4: going over to my parents' house to tell them and

335
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 4: we walked in and we brought the camera to record

336
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 4: it for the secret video we wanted to do, and.

337
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,160
Speaker 3: We're like, we're pregnant.

338
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,000
Speaker 4: And I come from a family of doctors, and my

339
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,520
Speaker 4: dad was like, Okay, how many weeks are you? And

340
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,960
Speaker 4: I was like, I just missed my period, so you're

341
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,480
Speaker 4: four weeks at the time. And he's like, that's amazing.

342
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,880
Speaker 4: Let's see how this goes. You have to get past

343
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 4: that first trimester. One in four people miscarry in the

344
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:57,320
Speaker 4: first trimester. Just so you know that's the statistic. Let's

345
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,240
Speaker 4: keep that in mind, and like, we're going to celebrate

346
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,600
Speaker 4: hard when you make it to thirteen weeks. We never

347
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,239
Speaker 4: made it to thirteen weeks. We miscarried. You know, a

348
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:09,639
Speaker 4: handful of weeks later, and it was the first of many.

349
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 4: We ended up miscarrying eight times over the course of

350
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,640
Speaker 4: the last couple of years. But it was an incredibly

351
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,960
Speaker 4: sobering experience and to have that conversation with my parents

352
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 4: up front, and it was such a gift that they

353
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,159
Speaker 4: gave us because Thomas and I had no idea. You

354
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 4: go into this situation so blindly. Sometimes we were so

355
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 4: naive that it really levels set our expectations for this.

356
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,000
Speaker 4: And when we did miscarry for that first time, it

357
00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,840
Speaker 4: was like, Oh, this happens to one in four people.

358
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 4: That's twenty five percent of the population.

359
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:41,880
Speaker 3: That's no big deal.

360
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 4: Were cool, and then it kept happening and I'm like, Okay, well,

361
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,600
Speaker 4: if it happens five times in a row, that's a

362
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,800
Speaker 4: little alarming. Like the chances of that happening are much lower.

363
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 4: Maybe we need to, you know, seek some fertility treatment

364
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 4: or figure out what's happening. So that's when we started

365
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,240
Speaker 4: going down the fertility route and I found an incredible

366
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 4: doctor and I really started educating myself about what was

367
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,480
Speaker 4: going on because I had no idea previous to that.

368
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 1: It can feel like we're spinning our wheels for so

369
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 1: much time whenever we're just seeking a diagnosis or trying

370
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,119
Speaker 1: to understand a problem. Were you ever able to figure

371
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 1: out what was the cause of the miscarriages?

372
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,679
Speaker 4: No, we have something called unexplained infertility. So when you

373
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,639
Speaker 4: start going to a fertility doctor, they try and rule

374
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,960
Speaker 4: everything out. They put me on some thyroid medicine. Even

375
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 4: at my thyroid we did a procedure on my uterus.

376
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 4: I had a heart shaped uterus, which means I have

377
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 4: a little septum at the top. So we shaved off

378
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,200
Speaker 4: the septum, if you will, because if an embryo had

379
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 4: implanted there, there was no blood flow, so that could

380
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,560
Speaker 4: have been causing the miscarriages. We did that surgery didn't

381
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,159
Speaker 4: necessarily stop the miscarriages, so who knows if that was

382
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 4: what it was. But in my mind, it's just a

383
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 4: statistical egg thing. I was thirty three at the time

384
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,479
Speaker 4: when we started trying to get pregnant. Not all my

385
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 4: eggs were good. I was past, you know, my twenties

386
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 4: epic fertile time. But just for me, I learned that

387
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 4: one in eight of my eggs is viable. We learned

388
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 4: that after we had done a couple egg retrievals. This

389
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,520
Speaker 4: was after we had Poppy, because we had more miscarriages

390
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 4: after our first daughter. One in eight times we try

391
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 4: and get pregnant, we'll get a good egg. So it's

392
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 4: just an egg quality thing for us.

393
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 2: Gobby I this is a different situation. But I froze

394
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:41,040
Speaker 2: my eggs in January of last year, and I recorded

395
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,880
Speaker 2: it and shared it on social media, and I got

396
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 2: a lot of messages from people saying like, I can't

397
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 2: believe you're sharing this publicly. This is so personal. And

398
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 2: the interesting part about it for me was that I

399
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 2: set out to do it because I wanted to sort

400
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 2: of destigmatize it or share with other people. But what

401
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 2: I actually received was like an incredible amount of support

402
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 2: from women who made me feel less alone.

403
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's beautiful.

404
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 2: It was sort of this like backwards thing that happened.

405
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 2: I'm so curious if that happened to you and why

406
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 2: you decided to share on socials so publicly and really

407
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 2: in real time.

408
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,520
Speaker 4: And I think freezing your eggs, if you're able to

409
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 4: do it, is the most incredible gift you can give

410
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 4: to your future self. It's just like a great insurance

411
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 4: policy to take out. But for us, I was getting

412
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 4: questions all the time, When are you and Thomas gonna

413
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 4: have kids? When are you going to have what do

414
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 4: you want kids? Are you pregnant? And nobody knew we

415
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,320
Speaker 4: had gone through these miscarriages. So for me, I needed

416
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 4: people to stop asking those questions for my own mental health.

417
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 4: I've developed a really thick skin because of my job,

418
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 4: which is perhaps healthy, perhaps not healthy. But I also

419
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 4: wanted to educate the larger audience that those are not

420
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 4: questions we can ask people anymore. I wanted it to

421
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 4: stop selfishly for my but I also wanted it to

422
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 4: stop for other people who didn't have the voice to

423
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,679
Speaker 4: tell their answer, their friends or their cousins to stop

424
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 4: asking those kinds of questions. So that's really when I

425
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 4: started sharing it, and similarly to you, the response was overwhelming.

426
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 4: It was absolutely wild, the comments I got, the DMS,

427
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 4: the people who were like, thank you for destigmatizing this.

428
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 4: We've been going through something similar. They're so brave. I

429
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 4: don't need anyone to tell me I'm brave for sharing this.

430
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,719
Speaker 4: I'm just so happy I can make someone else feel

431
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 4: less alone.

432
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think women find fertility to be incredibly isolating,

433
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 2: Like every aspect of it. We actually have a clip

434
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 2: of your husband Thomas talking about those questions that I'd

435
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,400
Speaker 2: love to play.

436
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 3: Sure.

437
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,120
Speaker 5: I just want to give props to my parents because

438
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:55,360
Speaker 5: during all this, like they definitely want grandchildren, but they

439
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 5: never asked when you're getting pregnant, when are you going

440
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,040
Speaker 5: to get a grandkid for me? None of that, And

441
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 5: so not having that pressure from your parents, like it's

442
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 5: so nice and yeah, like just thank you mom and dad.

443
00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 4: It was very helpful because and I'm guilty of this,

444
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 4: Like I used to ask my friends all the time

445
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:12,439
Speaker 4: a couple of.

446
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 3: Years ago, when are you gonna have a baby? When

447
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:14,440
Speaker 3: are you gonna have a baby?

448
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 4: When you have a baby, And I realize now how

449
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 4: wildly inappropriate that was on my behalf.

450
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 2: Having experienced all of this, how do you think we

451
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 2: can be having more compassionate conversations.

452
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,119
Speaker 4: That's a great question. If someone wants to talk about

453
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,239
Speaker 4: their fertility journey, they will bring it up. If they

454
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 4: are not interested in sharing it, that is for them

455
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 4: to decide when it is right on their own time.

456
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 4: Or maybe the answer is it's never right for them

457
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 4: and they just don't want to talk about it. But

458
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,360
Speaker 4: we have to let that person come to the table. First,

459
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 4: and I think as a friend being supportive of someone

460
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 4: in their decision, even if you know something's going on.

461
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 4: Like I have friends who are going through embryo implants

462
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 4: right now. I will send them a text and be like, Hey,

463
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 4: I'm thinking about you. I do not need an update,

464
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,719
Speaker 4: but just know I'm here if you need something.

465
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 3: That's it.

466
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 4: No specificity about whatever I'm trying to find out. I

467
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 4: just want them to know that I'm here and I'm

468
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,199
Speaker 4: a sounding board. They don't need my opinion if they

469
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 4: don't want it, but if they want a vent, I'm here.

470
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,760
Speaker 2: The update thing is so big because you don't have

471
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 2: the emotional bandwidth to update.

472
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 4: No, you're so anxious, you're so tired, you're if you're

473
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 4: doing the drug stuff, your emotions are running wild. Just

474
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,280
Speaker 4: hearing that reassurance from a friend is a really beautiful

475
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 4: gift that you can give someone.

476
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: We have to take a quick break, but we'll be

477
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: right back with Gobby Dualkin. We're back with New York

478
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: Times bestselling author and chef Gobby Dalkin. Gobby, I'm really

479
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 1: inspired by your resiliences. I just want everyone to understand

480
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: the gravity of eight miscarriages. That's every month of anticipation,

481
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 1: of hope, of thinking, oh, this could be the month

482
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: that it's going to happen, and then it doesn't, and

483
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 1: falling off of that emotional cliff and then having to

484
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:13,199
Speaker 1: pull yourself up and pick yourself back up again. What

485
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,880
Speaker 1: brought you hope while you were trying to get pregnant?

486
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 1: How did you find it?

487
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 4: For me, it was making sure all the other aspects

488
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 4: of my life were full. For us, we miscarried typically

489
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 4: around a nine to ten week mark, so that means

490
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 4: we had gone in for this six or eight week appointment,

491
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 4: we'd heard a heartbeat, we went in again, no heartbeat,

492
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 4: and then it takes another four to six weeks to

493
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 4: get your body back to normal.

494
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 3: So during that chunk of time.

495
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 4: I always made sure I was seeing my friends. I

496
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 4: had some fun trips planned, whether it's just like somewhere

497
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 4: an hour away or a great day trip or something

498
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,199
Speaker 4: like that, or something a little bit more international. I

499
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 4: made sure I was showing up at work. I was

500
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 4: just really making sure that I was never sitting around dwelling,

501
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 4: because I think that's when you can really get into

502
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 4: your own head and you start thinking what's wrong with me?

503
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 4: And the answer is nothing's wrong with you. There's nothing

504
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 4: wrong with me. That's just bad luck. These are my numbers,

505
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,679
Speaker 4: this is my reality. But there's nothing I could have

506
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,719
Speaker 4: done differently. So for me, it was making sure Thomas

507
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 4: and I were still celebrating each other, going out on date,

508
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,439
Speaker 4: talking to my parents every day, stuff like that was

509
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 4: really helpful in getting us through those, you know, chunks

510
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 4: of bummer times. I also realize that it's very easy

511
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 4: for me to say a lot of these things being

512
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 4: on the other side of it. I have a daughter,

513
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 4: I'm pregnant with my second. The other thing I will

514
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 4: say is seeing the humor in this situation was really

515
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 4: helpful for me because you realize how unhinged of a

516
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 4: situation you're going through and how strong you are as

517
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 4: an individual, and the female bodies just incredible at what

518
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,719
Speaker 4: it can endure. And being able to find like funny

519
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 4: moments in all of that was really therapeutic for me.

520
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 4: I went out for sushi every night after we had

521
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 4: a DMC and a big fat glass of wine, and

522
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 4: I was like, well, this is my silver lining. So

523
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:23,199
Speaker 4: being able to kind of giggle when you're bummed was

524
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 4: a really great coping mechanism.

525
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: For me, we believe in the power of the giggle.

526
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 3: You gotta laugh.

527
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 4: You have to see how crazy something is and be

528
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,959
Speaker 4: like this is unhinged, Like how does you just have

529
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 4: to be able to, you know, laugh at yourself.

530
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,359
Speaker 1: I've realized I am a person who wants to laugh

531
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 1: when it's inappropriate, Like I want to laugh through the pain.

532
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 1: I think it's the only way through.

533
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 3: I think it's healthy.

534
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

535
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 2: Is there anything that another woman shared with you during

536
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 2: all of this that really helped you or supported you

537
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 2: or got you through? Was did anybody come through with

538
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 2: a gift, a word, a moment.

539
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 4: One of my best friends had experienced a miscarriage before me,

540
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 4: and her mother in law had told her to practice

541
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 4: extreme moments of self care. So whether that meant and

542
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 4: going and getting one hundred and twenty minute massage, she

543
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,880
Speaker 4: was like, you should do that and just really focus

544
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 4: on making yourself happy and giving yourself that extra little

545
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 4: love because you deserve it, especially right now when you're

546
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 4: dealing with a lot.

547
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is really personal, But did this test your

548
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 2: relationship with your husband?

549
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 1: How did you guys remain close through it all? Oh?

550
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's for sure, Like put us through the ringer.

551
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 4: I actually oddly think it made us closer. I mean,

552
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,920
Speaker 4: we had to really lean on each other, and I

553
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 4: always was really aware that he was going through it. Also,

554
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 4: he wasn't the one having to go through all the

555
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 4: procedures and the surgeries and all that kind of stuff,

556
00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,120
Speaker 4: but like mentally, he was in it with me. So

557
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 4: I think it really encouraged us to have a really

558
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 4: open dialogue about how we were feeling all the time.

559
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 4: And I think you saw that play out on other

560
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 4: aspects of our life. We're better communicators at work. We

561
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 4: know what each other's strengths are, so we can lean

562
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 4: on each other for those kinds of things. He knows

563
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,880
Speaker 4: I'm going to provide the comedic relief, and he's going

564
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,719
Speaker 4: to be like operationally just better at executing things than

565
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 4: I am when we're going through hard time.

566
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 3: Such as fertility.

567
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 4: So I think it really showed us our different strengths.

568
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 3: It was great for us.

569
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 4: I know that's not always the experience with a lot

570
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 4: of my friends.

571
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to hear that.

572
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 2: Gobby, thank you so much for sharing with us today.

573
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, thank you for having me.

574
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 1: It was great. Thank you so much. Gobby, thank you.

575
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 3: This was so fun.

576
00:28:52,960 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 1: Gobby Dulcan is the founder of What's Cooking with Gobby.

577
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: That's it for today's show.

578
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 2: Tomorrow, we're going on a journey of joy and self

579
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,120
Speaker 2: discovery with Laura McCowan, the author of We Are the

580
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 2: Luckiest and push off from here. Listen and follow the

581
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 2: bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

582
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 2: you get your podcasts.

583
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: I'm Simone Boye. You can find me at Simone Boice

584
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok.

585
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 2: I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.

586
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: That's r b A Y See you tomorrow, folks. Keep

587
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 1: looking on the bright side.