1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: I'm wanting to call off my wedding because my fiance 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: is a control freak. 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:05,800 Speaker 2: Do it. 4 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: Background. I'm thirty two, she's thirty four. We're Catholic. She 5 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: has three kids from a previous marriage. We were dating 6 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: for about eight months, then decided to get engaged because 7 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: things were going well. Eight months to engagement is some 8 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: point quick fast. I felt like she was my person. 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: She felt the same. I did great with the kids. 10 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:32,319 Speaker 1: We were both only getting older. We're supposed to get 11 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:37,959 Speaker 1: married in December, but I don't want to anymore. By 12 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from yep, you got me on 13 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 1: the r slash Okay, storytime, subredd it. So I moved 14 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: in about a month ago to save money in name 15 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: of trying to pay off as much debt before the 16 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: wedding so we can buy a house soon after. This 17 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: is when everything changed. I feel for the worse. She 18 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: instantly wanted a joint bank account. I didn't want to 19 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: because I felt it turned into a control situation, and 20 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: it has. When I told her I didn't want to, 21 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: she said, well, maybe we shouldn't be getting married. 22 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 2: Oh wow. 23 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 1: Maybe she controls every bit of the money and everything 24 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: else down to what I eat. You're hungry? Why don't 25 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: you eat me? Is that not enough? Ma'am? Get down? Yeah, 26 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: good boy, you. 27 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:34,919 Speaker 2: Like duck sauce. 28 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 3: Look down to get you some. 29 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:43,479 Speaker 1: To ask to spend four bucks on medicine. When I'm 30 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: fighting a sinus infection, eat a daffadil. You eat a davidel. Dude. 31 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: We aren't hurting for money. I make seventy five k 32 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: after taxes. Backstory of my health. I have al sortive 33 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: colitis since I was twenty had my coal and removed 34 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: when I was twenty five. I literally have to eat 35 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 1: more than I used to because I don't absorb everything 36 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: like a normal person. But who was bro me? It's true, 37 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 1: jeez golly. She gots mad at how much I eat. 38 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: I have to sneak food at work. I've tried to 39 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: explain it to her, and so has her mom, but 40 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 1: she doesn't get it. Still. She tells me I have 41 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: to work at least seventy hours a week Monday through Friday, 42 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: and what I can on Saturday when we don't have 43 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 1: the kids, so we have extra. So she's like, get 44 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: the freakin work. You get the freaking work. I don't 45 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: spend money on anything. I use my personal money, so 46 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: I have the amount of food I need. This was 47 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: a fight to get what food I do have for work. 48 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: Why don't you just take back the bank account, take 49 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: back some power, say say no, ye, come on. 50 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 3: Invest everything into a CD that's long for ten years, 51 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 3: and to be like you want more money here you go. 52 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 4: Well, I guess it's it's and also it's it's so 53 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 4: challenging because you're like, you're you're newly married and everything. 54 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 2: You're like, I want, like I want to like be 55 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 2: a good partner and be together. But it's like, but 56 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 2: you wilin out. So what do I do? 57 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: I think, Oh, it's finally gotten to that point where 58 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: OPI He's like, wait, this isn't normal. Yeah, this was 59 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: a fight to get what food I do have for work. 60 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: Proper nutrition and arrest, which if I want to sleep 61 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: in I get fussed, are super important due to my health. 62 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: I mistakenly take something that was for the kids, I 63 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: get in big trouble. Even if it just costs. 64 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 2: A buck, Toddy needs age, or. 65 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: Even if I didn't take some leftovers to work that 66 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: I try to leave for others so I'm not greedy. 67 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: I get blamed for wasting food, even though she didn't 68 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: tell me to take it and has yelled at me 69 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:01,680 Speaker 1: for taking too much. So dang if I do, damned 70 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: if I don't. Right, she shows a little to no affection. 71 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: I work twelve hours on my short days, around fifteen 72 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: on my long days. I only have one or two 73 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: short days a week. I'd like to feel wanted and 74 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: desired when I come home. He wants to use that 75 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 1: long days of his and extend it and extend it. Look, 76 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: you did nothing, but I feel nothing. I don't ever 77 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: get a hug, a kiss, or any kind of excitement 78 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,720 Speaker 1: when I get home after a long day. Some of 79 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: the long days mean I don't see her for two 80 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:41,479 Speaker 1: to three days at a time. There's no sort of excitement. 81 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: Just what more can you do around the house. Hell, 82 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: I've even got in trouble for sitting down for ten 83 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: minutes when I get home one day. Because I need 84 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: to use my time better. I take care of everything 85 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: around the house, such as yardwork, home repairs, doing everything 86 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 1: else when no one feels like it. Heaven forbid me 87 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,559 Speaker 1: if I do one thing after a long day, getting 88 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: up from the kids is a chore. I'm feeling used 89 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: and much like I'm just here to give money, do 90 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 1: as much as I can, and if I bring something up, 91 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: it gets turned back on me. Am I crazy for 92 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: not wanting to go through with this. We already had 93 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: to talk about how I can't live like this, and 94 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: it was good for a couple of days, then back 95 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: to the regularly scheduled program. I don't feel like anything 96 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: will ever change. Ever. Well, we had the talk. She 97 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: straightened up, which is easier for her to do with 98 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: the double spine a bit, but over the next few 99 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: days she made jokes about what I brought up, so 100 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: I feel like it meant nothing to hurt at all. 101 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I do what throw 102 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:55,920 Speaker 1: that back out? 103 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:56,679 Speaker 2: Run away? 104 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, run away? And we got another update. But I 105 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: want to pause right here, and actually I want to 106 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: pause right here and read Irish Gigs and kind of 107 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,799 Speaker 1: get like a feel from chat, feel in the comments, 108 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: feel from you guys Iris gigs. People treat you the 109 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: way you allow yourself to be treated. Next time she 110 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: best beaches at you about food, take her off your 111 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: bank account, Tell her this is the result of her 112 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:33,320 Speaker 1: actions and run. What do we think about that, y'all? 113 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 4: I mean, I like the philosophy here of like actions 114 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 4: have direct consequences, where it's like, hey, you do this 115 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 4: crazy manipulative, controlling thing again, then why happens? Consequence happens. 116 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 4: But I think we're already at the point where OP 117 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 4: can rather just go and be like, hey, listen, you've 118 00:06:55,920 --> 00:07:00,280 Speaker 4: done here's the like law, the laundry list of things 119 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:04,799 Speaker 4: that you've done to me ergo I it's his own account, right. 120 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I think something. So everyone's just uh. Nicole 121 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,800 Speaker 1: h says prevorce. Artemis Fain says, just leave her. I 122 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 1: think in a situation like this, when you have a 123 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: partner that's so controlling and when you ask for what 124 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: you need and the partner, you know, eases out for 125 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: a day and then just starts controlling again, I think 126 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: the only thing that can reset a dynamic, if you're 127 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: trying to save any kind of dynamic, is separation, right Like, 128 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: I think she needs to know that you're not a 129 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: bank account, so like cut her off and make her 130 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:42,600 Speaker 1: feel like, make her know what it looks like to like, 131 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: I guess, live maybe with her own resources. And I 132 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: think you need to understand what it looks like for 133 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: you to live for yourself, because I think you've only 134 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: ever lived through her eyes of what you need to 135 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 1: do for your for her and your family, and you've 136 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: never known what it looks like to live for you. 137 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: So I think like separation therapy and then potentially like 138 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: you might need a divorce, you might like this is 139 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: this is deep rooted. I don't know if this is 140 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: something that that is going to change easily. Yeah, I'm curious, 141 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,040 Speaker 1: what if you guys have anything to add there. 142 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 4: I feel like Op literally cannot operate as like a 143 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 4: functioning human properly because of the way because he's literally 144 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 4: like he's being suffocated. I can't even like get food 145 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 4: to nourish myself to work these seventy hour work weeks 146 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 4: or demanded. 147 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: He literally makes no decisions for himself. He literally makes 148 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: no decisions for himself. And he's like, why am I 149 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: so unhappy? I make no I mean, but he makes 150 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: no decisions. Of course he's going to be unhappy. He is. 151 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: He is completely subjugated to this woman's will. Clark says, 152 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,439 Speaker 1: it's not easy to leave. Stuff like this happens slowly, 153 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: it feels normal eventually, and you know it's great about 154 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:05,439 Speaker 1: places like Reddit is yes, agreed. Often people get caught 155 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:10,319 Speaker 1: in these terrible situations because they don't advocate for themselves 156 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 1: when the initial transgression happens, and then these transgressions build 157 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: up and build up and up, and then they're five 158 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,840 Speaker 1: years into a relationship being like, how did I get 159 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: into something disabused of? How did I get into a 160 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: place where I forgot how I deserve to be treated? 161 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:32,439 Speaker 1: Completely agree, But I think something that's beautiful about Reddit, 162 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 1: something that's beautiful about writing in general, when you just 163 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: put it out all in front of yourself and the 164 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: world is finally maybe you get those rose colored glasses off, 165 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 1: and then that's where the real work can start, right 166 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: And I think this is what Op is doing right 167 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: here is the first step towards real work. Sassy Sin says, 168 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 1: does OPI realize he's being abused? I think probably realizing 169 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 1: it right now. 170 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,199 Speaker 2: And that's all period. 171 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 1: That's all period. But we got another update. 172 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 2: Let's go. 173 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: We had an additional talk. Oh and some of y'all 174 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 1: stated that she will say what I want to hear 175 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: and then it goes back to the same old crap 176 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:23,559 Speaker 1: And you were one hundred percent right, Spoom, I've been 177 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: playing the game and seeing her responses on things, she 178 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 1: flips the responses to seemingly being different than they were, 179 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: when she really is just saying the same thing. For example, 180 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: I explained that I was still hungry after dinner, and 181 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 1: she said, word for word, I think you should just 182 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: focus on not being hungry. Then you won't want to eat. 183 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 3: There we go. 184 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,719 Speaker 1: Did you ever think about that? 185 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, stop being so fat? 186 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:55,320 Speaker 4: And did you ever think about you should just manifest 187 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 4: food into your into your stomach, with your your your telepath. 188 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 4: I think food creating thought waves. 189 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 2: Have you ever thought. 190 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 1: About your attitude is your reality? You know? 191 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 2: My attitude is I'm starving. 192 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 1: Just meditate abundance, you know. I think if you just, 193 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 1: if you just meditate on abundance, if you manifest abundance, 194 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: an abundance in your belly, you will not be at all. 195 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 2: If I can meditate a full body, oh can I 196 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 2: not meditate a full stomach? 197 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:40,199 Speaker 1: Oh it's possible, it's stoppable, It's possible, it's possible. So 198 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 1: so I just grabbed the water and went about. My 199 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: business man needs to just eat. Brock, please, f this girl, 200 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: just eat, He says, like, are you kidding me? But 201 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 1: he says like, are you kidding me? Internally, but that 202 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 1: he just has a water and doesn't eat, like she's starving. 203 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 2: Him really bad, really really really really bad. 204 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: Right after we had the discussion about my body and 205 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,840 Speaker 1: my condition. Anyway, I've got a plan together. I won't 206 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: be able to enact this plan till Friday next week. 207 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,839 Speaker 1: The car we got is in both of our names, 208 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: but I'm only on the loan as a co signer, 209 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: so I'm getting a rental because I can afford it 210 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: when some psycho isn't corn rolling my money. I've never 211 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: heard that phrase, roll the corn, roll that corn. And 212 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:31,079 Speaker 1: I'm loading everything i can in there into the car 213 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: and heading out of town. While she's at work, I'll 214 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 1: be going to my parents, and the next day over 215 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: she won't be able to find me, which is good. 216 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,440 Speaker 1: I'm so getting a new phone and number before i 217 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: head out of town. I've got my direct deposit changed, 218 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: new bank account, and while I'm at work, I'm calling 219 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: to get her off my credit card and everything. I'm 220 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,679 Speaker 1: waiting for the payment to post to the card from 221 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 1: our joint account well next week so I'm not stuck 222 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 1: with the balance that's on there. I'm also pulling what 223 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: money is rightfully mine out of the account before I leave, 224 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:13,880 Speaker 1: and then taking my name off of it. There's a 225 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: significant amount in there. I'm cutting my losses on what 226 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: I've already paid towards the wedding and everything else. I 227 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,920 Speaker 1: don't want that money to taint my new money. I'm 228 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 1: expecting you to freak the heck out and blow my 229 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: phone up. 230 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:27,600 Speaker 5: But. 231 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: I don't care. There we go. Just getting my plan 232 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:36,959 Speaker 1: together has been so liberating. On my way to my parents, 233 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 1: I'm meeting a really good friend of mine who's been 234 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: here through this whole process, meeting them for lunch, then 235 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 1: onto my parents. I haven't even told my parents yet, 236 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: so they don't know. I've got all these crazy ideas 237 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,559 Speaker 1: of things I want to do and we'll finally be 238 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: able to do once I'm out, and it feels so 239 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 1: dang good. I can't wait. I don't know if I'm 240 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: more anxious to get back to who I was or 241 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: more anxious about her reaction. Either way, I don't care. 242 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,280 Speaker 1: I have to go. So now, if he has a plan, yes, 243 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: he's exiting the relationship, yes, and we do have another update, yes, baby, 244 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 1: So what do we think about this plan? Are any 245 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 1: of these kids his because they're not married yet? 246 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 2: A good question. They this is true, They are not. 247 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 1: She has three kids from a previous marriage. We're dating 248 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: eight months and we got engaged, so these three kids 249 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: are not his, to be. 250 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:39,240 Speaker 4: Clear, poyfect, I am seeing, you know. We talked about 251 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 4: earlier about oh there's the roastin and glasses and everything. 252 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 4: The glasses have come off, and now he is seeing 253 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 4: everything for what it is. And not only is he 254 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 4: seeing it, he's acting on it and standing on business 255 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 4: and putting himself in a position to live a fruitful 256 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 4: life once again. 257 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 1: And that is hard. You know something, I was talking 258 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: to a friend who's trying to exit an abusive relationship 259 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: right now, right, and we're talking about this idea of like, 260 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 1: you don't often find yourself an abusive relationship because everything 261 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: is bad, you know, like when you look at that relationship, 262 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 1: there's a reason you stayed in it, right, there's comfort, 263 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 1: there is love. You might actually really love that person, 264 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: but that's not what makes it abusive, and abusive is 265 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 1: the polarity of the love with that evil that like 266 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: that control that that that person or that side of 267 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: the person that wants to hurt and with OP leaving 268 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 1: like they're probably there's a reason that he's there. It's 269 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: not like all bad. There probably is a reason that 270 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 1: he has stayed in that relationship so long. So I 271 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: just want to like lot Op, because when you leave 272 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: a situation like this, you're not only leaving all the 273 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: bad and heard stuff, you're also leaving all the good stuff, 274 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: the stuff that makes you feel safe, the stuff of 275 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: like maybe it feels good to be a step dad 276 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 1: to these to these three kids, Like this is like 277 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: maybe that's something that that he enjoys and feels a 278 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: lot of purpose out of right, And I really think, 279 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 1: like what, uh what what? What we like need to 280 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 1: laud OP four and recognize is like it is hard 281 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: to leave an abusive relationship because you're leaving some parts 282 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 1: that are actually good, which is like the it's kind 283 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: of like a weird paradox of abuse totally. 284 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 2: I mean, even the bad stuff can feel like. 285 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,080 Speaker 4: Quote unquote comfortable or quote unquote normal, and just leaving 286 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 4: you know, big change. Humans are often you know, averse 287 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,400 Speaker 4: to big changes. So and not only some of the 288 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 4: good stuff maybe like the normal and the comfort zone, 289 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 4: but even the abusive parts and negative parts can be that, 290 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 4: so very very very. 291 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 2: Much should be applauded. 292 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, for taking his life into his own hands and 293 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 4: doing the dang thing, freaking freaking beautiful decease. 294 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,960 Speaker 1: And I also recognize that is not always the case, 295 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: Nicki Wolf says, no, Sam, I stayed out of fear, 296 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,040 Speaker 1: fear of what he'd do. When I left. I went 297 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:14,880 Speaker 1: to hiding until he was served with the restraining order 298 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: and three day eviction notice. I had two male friends 299 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,560 Speaker 1: sleeping on my couch for months. You're totally right, Nicki Wolf. Uh, 300 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,919 Speaker 1: safety always first, Yeah, safety always first, and obviously not 301 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: every situation is an absolute I think you know, some 302 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: people stay out of comfort, some people stay out of fear. 303 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 4: Uh. 304 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,200 Speaker 1: People are not a monolith. And Nikki, that is a 305 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:43,880 Speaker 1: wonderful reminder. So thank you for sharing your uh take. 306 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: But but we got an update. Oh god, so update 307 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: two if you have already asked for updates, so here 308 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: goes some then all good news. Oh okay, So I 309 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: am out and free and I feel great, wool. I 310 00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 1: left early in the morning with as much stuff as 311 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,679 Speaker 1: I could. I went to the next town over and 312 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 1: sat in the parking lot waiting for the rental place 313 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,360 Speaker 1: to open, so she wouldn't have the chance of browsing 314 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:29,160 Speaker 1: around town before work and find me Before I got 315 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: the rental, I got all my money out as well. 316 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 1: After getting the rental, I went back to the house 317 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 1: got more stuff she had I guess gotten the hint 318 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,280 Speaker 1: and locked me out of the house. But I got 319 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 1: all the important expensive stuff, so that's good. I went 320 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 1: back to the bank and got a print out of 321 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 1: all the transactions from the joint account, and I was 322 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,280 Speaker 1: immediately pissed off. I had asked for medicine, but there 323 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 1: were so many Amazon charges going out to eat, transfer 324 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: the money to different accounts and everything. But I had 325 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: to ask to spend four bucks on medicine sort of 326 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:00,640 Speaker 1: science infection. So she's spending all this money which way, 327 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 1: but he had to ask for four dollars. It looks 328 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,360 Speaker 1: like she was transferring money, so I couldn't track it all. 329 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: I gave the print depth to a friend so she 330 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 1: can get me a spreadsheet together to track everything easier. 331 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,120 Speaker 1: While driving down to my parents four hours from where 332 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 1: I live, I was able to get all my passwords 333 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,960 Speaker 1: to every account, reset and removed her as an author. 334 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: I'd user on everything boom. Also before leaving, I got 335 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: a new account slash debit card and switched all that over. 336 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 1: After meeting with my parents, I went to an old 337 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: friend's someone I've known for ten plus years but hadn't 338 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,359 Speaker 1: seen in two Her mom made me a heck of 339 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: a meal fit for a king. We later went ax throwing. 340 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,920 Speaker 1: I had a good time. I spent the night there 341 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 1: and her mom made me a really good breakfast. Her 342 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 1: family is such a good family and they considered me 343 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 1: a son, so they were happy to have me over. 344 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: Her mom asked if I just need a key to 345 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 1: the house this morning. I drove back to my parents 346 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,919 Speaker 1: and we went to the flea market and I was 347 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:04,440 Speaker 1: able to spend money on whatever I felt like. Yes, 348 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: I felt so good. This is the life I want 349 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,639 Speaker 1: to live, not a life constrained by a crazy person. 350 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 1: I feel great. I'm doing great. Leading up to leaving, 351 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: I was getting super anxious about it and having trouble sleeping. Hell. 352 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: I saw my ex Monday and some Tuesday, but because 353 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 1: of my schedule, didn't see her for three days. No 354 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 1: I miss you know, nothing, just messages asking me to 355 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 1: do things. Also, on the way down, she didn't try 356 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,200 Speaker 1: to contact me at all. I left messenger open and 357 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: will until everything is buttoned up, but everyone else is 358 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 1: blocked on everything. She did try to contact my parents, 359 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 1: but they didn't answer it, thankfully. I've got quite the 360 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 1: road ahead of me to get where I want to, 361 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,920 Speaker 1: but it will be an easier road to travel than 362 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,199 Speaker 1: what I was doing. I've already contacted a fight school 363 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,400 Speaker 1: and we'll be enrolling to get my private pilot's license 364 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,119 Speaker 1: in the next few months. 365 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 4: I love how he's a little spreading his wings and 366 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 4: learning to fly literally and. 367 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: Literally, Yeah, that's beautiful. That's beautiful and also just a 368 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 1: short tangent if you're feeling like down or sad, or 369 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: you need a new beginning, learn a new skill, and 370 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 1: you know, like private pilot license. You know, that's that's expensive, 371 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:22,359 Speaker 1: But there's plenty of stuff that you can pick up 372 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 1: and learn that is free and easy to get a 373 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: hold of the materials. All you need is YouTube. YouTube 374 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 1: can teach you so much. YouTube university, YouTube university, like 375 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 1: you know, learn to knit, learn to like do, like 376 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:40,160 Speaker 1: like yoga, like that. There is nothing that is more 377 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: of a cure for a soul than learning something new. 378 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: And I think OP has gone into that fully. I 379 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: love it. I can't wait. It's been a huge dream 380 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: of mine since I was little, and if it's been 381 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: a huge dream of yours to spend time with us. 382 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: You should join us live on YouTube every week day 383 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,120 Speaker 1: at three pm PST. Also, you can join us on Facebook. 384 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 1: Just tap our profile. There's another relevant update. But John, 385 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: anything to add on this man's journey. 386 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,160 Speaker 4: I mean, this is what we love to see. This 387 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 4: is a guy who realized he was being controlled to 388 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 4: a insane degree, insane and you know it was able 389 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,879 Speaker 4: to thankfully see it for what it was, create a 390 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,160 Speaker 4: plan for himself and get out of there. 391 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,120 Speaker 2: And now he is absolutely reaping the rewards. 392 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 4: And I think that he has the all the tools 393 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 4: and mindset to build an amazing, fruitful life for himself. 394 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 4: And I can't remember who commented it, but somebody said, oh, 395 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 4: he's gonna get super rich and she's gonna be freaking pissed, 396 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,960 Speaker 4: and I'm like, uh, yeah, he's gonna be like a 397 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,640 Speaker 4: freaking rich, sexy. 398 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 2: Planelet plane pilot. 399 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 4: He's like, oh, sorry, I'm gonna be jetting off to grease. Sorry, babes, 400 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 4: I can't respond to you anymore because I gotta visit 401 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,959 Speaker 4: my fat stacks of offshore counts. 402 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 2: That's be as. 403 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:05,360 Speaker 1: Okay, pilot. Yeah, dude, I honestly think like that's what 404 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,920 Speaker 1: happens when you live your best, most authentic life. Is 405 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,199 Speaker 1: like usually good stuff, like the universe wants you to 406 00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:16,159 Speaker 1: be happy. Oh yeah, so go out and freaking do stuff. 407 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 1: Go get it, baby, But we got a little bit 408 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,880 Speaker 1: more of this story, so we're going to close out 409 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 1: with that. So this has been the best thing I've 410 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: ever done for myself and my well being. Looking forward 411 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 1: to see where things go and where I can take it. 412 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: Thank you guys again for the sound advice. Only thing 413 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: I have left to button up is the vehicle we bought, 414 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: but I ran out of time. I've got a meeting 415 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: with the lawyer next week to get it taken care of. 416 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 1: Much love to y'all, But yeah, that's that story. But 417 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 1: we got another story for y'all come in fresh off 418 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 1: the press. 419 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 2: Yeah we do. 420 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I really I really love how Op he's just 421 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 1: investing in their interest in future. 422 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 4: Yeah. I think this is this is exactly what you 423 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:58,399 Speaker 4: should do getting out of a horrendous relationship like the 424 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,960 Speaker 4: one that Ope is in. He's investing in himself. He's 425 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 4: uh literally just leveling up so much. It's it's a 426 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 4: It is a beautiful thing to see. 427 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's awesome. It's awesome. Yes, yes, yes, let's hitd it. 428 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: Let's get it another story for you in this episode. 429 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: All right, So I cheated on my fiance at my 430 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 1: bachel uret party. You don't you don't, Yeah, don't, I do? 431 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:30,920 Speaker 1: Don't do? That was good? That was good. Hey, one 432 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 1: way to say I objected a marriage. So I don't 433 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,920 Speaker 1: even know why I'm writing this here. Everyone is going 434 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 1: to say it's rage bait and I'll get banned. I 435 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 1: just did the worst thing that I could possibly do, 436 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,879 Speaker 1: and I just want to confess to everyone, but I can't. 437 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 1: I know for a fact that the most important relationship 438 00:24:54,240 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 1: of my life will be ruined. Oh my god. By 439 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from throw away I am terrible 440 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,159 Speaker 1: on the r sash Okay story Times subreddit. So my 441 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 1: fiance Alex fake name mail thirty two and I female 442 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,160 Speaker 1: twenty eight have been together for four years and we're 443 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 1: supposed to get married on the twenty eighth of December, 444 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 1: which is coming up. Oh, you're right, we had our 445 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 1: bachelor slash bachelorette parties last weekend because everyone was in 446 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 1: town for the holiday. That's why we're having the wedding 447 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: on the twenty eighth. Everyone will be here anyway for 448 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 1: the holiday, so coming to the wedding won't be a 449 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:44,200 Speaker 1: big thing. Alex is everything I want in a man 450 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 1: Edder's note. At first, she wrote, Jake is everything I 451 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 1: wanted a man. She edited it once the comments pointed 452 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: out he's kind, he's funny and charming. He's tall and handsome. Oh, 453 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 1: he's helpful, he's a leader, he's successful at his work 454 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:04,239 Speaker 1: with a great future. He's really thoughtful. One time we 455 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: were shopping and I looked at a butterfly decoration just 456 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:11,360 Speaker 1: in passing, and later on I got it for my birthday. 457 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 4: Oh that's that's professional at work. That's a professional. 458 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 1: Professional boyfriend material. That's marriage material. You're right there, yo, wife, 459 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: that yeah, but maybe maybe maybe you should maybe you specifically, Ope, 460 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: he shouldn't, but let's go. I'm sorry, I don't know 461 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: if I'm sorry. Let's see, let's do it. So he 462 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: remembered that I liked it and went back and bought 463 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: it for me and surprised me with it. Our spicy 464 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,680 Speaker 1: sleep life. It's very satisfying to me, and I think 465 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 1: to him as well. He's not perfect, of course, and 466 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 1: we have our disagreements like any other couple, but we're 467 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 1: great together. I feel safe and loved with him. When 468 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: we first got together, the subject of our past partners 469 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: came up. I didn't have a lot of past partners, 470 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 1: as all my relationships were long term. I had three 471 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 1: boyfriends before Alex. The previous one was Jake fake name. 472 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,879 Speaker 1: Jake was gorgeous. He had a very magnetic personality and 473 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: always dominated whatever room he walked into. Oh good, I 474 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,359 Speaker 1: felt so lucky when he chose me to be his girlfriend, 475 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,719 Speaker 1: with a very intense physical connection that I sort of 476 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 1: lost myself in. And every other way though, Jake was terrible. 477 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,240 Speaker 1: He cheated on me, he stood me up on multiple occasions. 478 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,879 Speaker 1: He forgot important events like my birthday and my best 479 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: friend's engagement party, and I finally broke up with him. 480 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 1: He didn't seem to really care about it though, which hurts. Oh. 481 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: He just ghosted me when I said enough. Wow, okay, 482 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: Jake no good, but hey, at least we got the 483 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 1: new guy. Yeah. The reason I mentioned this is because 484 00:27:55,359 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 1: I told Alex about Jake. Alex's good guy, Jake's bad guy. Yes. 485 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,399 Speaker 1: At first he didn't connect the dots, but when I 486 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: described Jake, he asked me if it was Jake last name, 487 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,360 Speaker 1: Jake last name? I said, how do you know? And 488 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 1: he told me that Jake had stolen his girlfriend from 489 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 1: high school when they were all freshmen in college. 490 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 2: You're joking. 491 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 1: It really hurt Alex as he thought he would marry 492 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: this girl. Jake later dumped her and she tried to 493 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: get back with Alex, but Alex rejected her, telling me 494 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: that she was disgusting. So basically, Alex dating this girl 495 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 1: that he thought he would marry Jake Steele's girl then 496 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 1: breaks up with girl. Girl goes back to Alex, crawling like, nah, 497 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:44,680 Speaker 1: I don't want it. 498 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 3: I'm not a poop, I'm not number two. 499 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 1: Alex was quiet around me for a few days after that, 500 00:28:55,800 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 1: but he came around thankfully. During my bachelorette party last weekend, 501 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 1: one of my bridesmaids, Claire fake name, invited a bunch 502 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,960 Speaker 1: of old friend groups to the airbnb we were renting 503 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 1: as a surprise. I thought they had all moved away, 504 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 1: but they showed up and yes, you guessed it. Jake 505 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: was there. 506 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 3: Do we even need to read this story? 507 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: My heart is already hurting. My heart is already hurting. 508 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 1: I was pretty drunk, but I can't say I didn't 509 00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 1: know what I was doing. Jake was still really good looking, 510 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: and he talked to me that night. He only flirted 511 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: with me and no one else. He was charming and 512 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 1: my inhibitions were down, and we eventually went to a 513 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 1: bedroom and we had spicy sleep there. 514 00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:58,000 Speaker 2: It is. 515 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 5: Oh god, dang, dude, you have to Jacob, you gotta 516 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:12,640 Speaker 5: tell dude, Alex is gonna be freaking tell Jake. 517 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 3: To brow leave the country, and then tell Alex like. 518 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 4: Broken already, like already already, the cheating is going to 519 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 4: break his heart. 520 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 2: But the fact that it was this guy, Bro, Bro, 521 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 2: what did Alex do to you? Jake? How did Alex 522 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 2: hurt you? My friend? 523 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 4: Because this is just unfathomable evilness. 524 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, unfathomable. Man, I hate Caro. 525 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,000 Speaker 2: Says cousin to Jim Vains. 526 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: You're for Jim Vaines. I don't well. Remember the girl 527 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:48,920 Speaker 1: was always going to the gym to hook up with 528 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 1: this guy. We named him Jim Fanes. 529 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 2: Because of all the veins and the mini he's doing. 530 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, mister Jim Vaines forgot about that, guy Eco says again, 531 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 1: it's worse, guys, this is a combo fourteen. This is 532 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 1: a combo en for freaking Jake and op Op is 533 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,800 Speaker 1: is uh yeah yeah, number fourteen. Brittany Ice you in 534 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 1: the next morning, I was mortified. I told Jake that 535 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: it meant nothing and he needed to leave and not 536 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: get in contact with me again. Jake told me that 537 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: he changed, don't look like it, and was a serious 538 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 1: person and serious about me. Yo, all right, if Op's 539 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 1: just looking out for herself and also looking to be 540 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:54,440 Speaker 1: as honest as possible, tell Alex he doesn't want anything 541 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 1: to do with you. Get with Jake, and then Jake's 542 00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 1: just gonna preaky coup with you. 543 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, and he's gonna run his whole play 544 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 4: back on his play he does the Jake Satan special. 545 00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 2: He's just God, he's just got it, like he can 546 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,200 Speaker 2: just pull it out anytime, No pun intended. 547 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: All right. I told him to go and to please 548 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 1: just shut up and leave. He seems sad, but he left. 549 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: I made sure to make him swear to forget about it. All, 550 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,760 Speaker 1: and he did swear. I told Claire to keep quiet 551 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:28,479 Speaker 1: about it and to not tell anyone about Jake bad. 552 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 1: She was the only one who really knew about our 553 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,800 Speaker 1: past relationship as she was part of our friend group. 554 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: She agreed and said it was no big deal and 555 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 1: it was just one last fling before marriage. I hate that. 556 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 1: I hate that. I hate that. That is like a thing. 557 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 1: I think she was the only one who saw us 558 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 1: go back to the bedroom, but I can't be sure. 559 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:49,040 Speaker 1: All I know is that Jake and I were the 560 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:56,000 Speaker 1: least drunk people there, and we were all pretty drunk. Oh. Meanwhile, 561 00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: it's been eating at me all the time. I can't sleep, 562 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 1: I can't eat. I'm afraid my wedding dress will be 563 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,440 Speaker 1: too big for me because I had this fear in 564 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: the pit of my stomach. And I throw up when 565 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,320 Speaker 1: I think about Jake and what I did, which is 566 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 1: all the time. I think about it all the time. 567 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 1: Good good, I mean, I have to confess to someone, 568 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: so I think a bunch of internet strangers is the 569 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 1: easiest way to do it. No, confess to Alex. I 570 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:29,160 Speaker 1: know I'm terrible, I know I f this up. I 571 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 1: can't lose Alex. Why didn't I think of him when 572 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: I was there last Saturday? Why didn't I consider Alex? 573 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,960 Speaker 1: I'm such an effing idiot. He's the best thing that 574 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 1: ever happened to me, and Jake is the worst. Alex 575 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 1: has noticed the change of my attitude. I lied to 576 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 1: him again and told him that I think I'm coming 577 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 1: down with the flu and that he should stay away 578 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:54,040 Speaker 1: for the for a few days. Meanwhile, I'm crying my 579 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 1: eyes out in bed, and Alex is being his usual 580 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:01,280 Speaker 1: great self and bringing me homemade chicken noodle soup his 581 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 1: mom made. I can't tell him, but I can't stand this. 582 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: Does it go away over time? That's not the right 583 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 1: with yourself? Yeah, I don't. It is not definitely not 584 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 1: the right question. Feel free to demean me. I deserve it. 585 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,799 Speaker 1: It's not fake, it's not rage bait. I honestly wish 586 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:30,000 Speaker 1: it was. I wish this was just a nightmare. F 587 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:36,359 Speaker 1: m L. And there is an update. Don't look, don't look, 588 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,160 Speaker 1: don't look. There is an update. There is an update. 589 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:46,880 Speaker 1: But but before we get into this update, Yes, what 590 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,080 Speaker 1: should OP do? And what do you think OPI will do? 591 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 4: I mean you, you just have to tell him like 592 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:59,880 Speaker 4: like even even in in your your logic if you're like, oh, well, 593 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,439 Speaker 4: don't want to tell him and heard anything else. 594 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,400 Speaker 2: Look at how your body is physically reacting. 595 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: There's listen to your body. 596 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, like like your body is telling you, like. 597 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 1: I am, listening to her body is what got her 598 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:11,360 Speaker 1: into this situation. 599 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,960 Speaker 4: Actually, God, but like your body is literally has this 600 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 4: like sickness. It's literally think about it. If it's like 601 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,279 Speaker 4: sitting in your stomach and it's like you have. 602 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 1: To like. 603 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 2: Get it out. 604 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 4: You have to expel this this secret demon from your 605 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,200 Speaker 4: body and just tell him and be like, listen, I 606 00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 4: just need to tell you right now. And you know 607 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:33,280 Speaker 4: you can't know what's going to happen after that or anything, 608 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,440 Speaker 4: but yeah, you just gotta tell him that. 609 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 1: That's I feel like living with the lie is worse 610 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 1: than living with the consequences of the truth. Indeed, well said, 611 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,440 Speaker 1: well said, but we got it. 612 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 6: Update So up day Yep, Alex found out and he 613 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:56,840 Speaker 6: is done with me. 614 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:02,440 Speaker 1: I mean, of course you cannot both expected bro. 615 00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 2: Got he got the same play run on him twice. 616 00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:10,040 Speaker 1: Dude. I would feel like the biggest jump in the 617 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,160 Speaker 1: world if I was Alex, Like, it's totally it's not 618 00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,000 Speaker 1: his fault at all. But if I was Alex, I 619 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 1: would be like, I would feel so cooked. Yeah yeah, 620 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,880 Speaker 1: I would feel so emasculated. Oh, which is totally like 621 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: Alex shouldn't. It's totally not on it on Alex, but 622 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,960 Speaker 1: damn yeah what I feel like. 623 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,840 Speaker 4: A piece of shit. And you know what's gonna happen. 624 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:35,000 Speaker 4: Alex is gonna change his name, grow a beard, shave 625 00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 4: his head, move to Alaska. Ten years later, find and 626 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 4: beautiful girl, and then the night before she's like, oh, 627 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,000 Speaker 4: I just reached out tobut it. Somebody's like, oh Jack 628 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,799 Speaker 4: or Jake, Jake who Jake last name? 629 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:48,919 Speaker 1: Oh man? 630 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,440 Speaker 3: What would kill me on the inside is all the 631 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,840 Speaker 3: sweet things I did with her throughout the relationship, like 632 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,640 Speaker 3: cooking chicken noodle soup, getting that present right, So, like 633 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,680 Speaker 3: that's what would get to mess waste. 634 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:05,200 Speaker 1: The big boyfriend, perfect boyfriend, bro Bro. 635 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,759 Speaker 3: I mean, let's just send Op to the sun. Why 636 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:09,839 Speaker 3: not Ope to the Sun.