1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: Support for today's podcast comes from Cricket Wireless. Are you 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: looking for a ways in summer on a high note, 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: They've got just the thing. Get ready for unlimited smiles, 4 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: unlimited times. For Get four lines of unlimited data for 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: a hundred dollars a month. Please note that Cricket Core 6 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: is required on four lines. Data speed limited to three 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: megabits per second. Cricket may slow data speeds when the 8 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: network is busy. Additional fees, usage and restrictions apply. Support 9 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:34,880 Speaker 1: for today's podcast also comes from Helix. It's been about 10 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: four months now and I'm still in a very happy 11 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: and committed relationship with our Helix mattress. I'm not sure 12 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: if you've been on the hunt for a mattress lately, 13 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: but there are so many choices. The thing I loved 14 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,519 Speaker 1: most about Helix was that I was able to take 15 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,080 Speaker 1: a two minute quiz that matches your body type and 16 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 1: sleep preference to the perfect mattress for you. Ordering was 17 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: super easy and delivery was very fast. 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Just go to Helix 25 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: Sleep dot com slash Therapy for Black Girls, take their 26 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a 27 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,200 Speaker 1: customize mattress that will give you the best sleep of 28 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: your life. Now let's get into the show. Welcome to 29 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about 30 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we 31 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. 32 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed 33 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 1: psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find 34 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy 35 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,520 Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you love 36 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not 37 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a 38 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so much for 39 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,920 Speaker 1: joining me for session one of the Therapy for Black 40 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: Girls podcast. We started this conversation last week when I 41 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: shared a few questions for you to check in with 42 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,239 Speaker 1: yourself about your mental health, and given that September is 43 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: National Suicide Prevention Month, I thought it was important today 44 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: to continue the conversation by discussing how you can cope 45 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 1: and manage if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts or 46 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: suicidal ideation, as it's sometimes called, often occurs when people 47 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: are in unbelievable amounts of pain and feel like there's 48 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 1: nothing that will make them better. It's often as signed 49 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 1: that people want to escape their lives for one reason 50 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: or another. It's important to note that simply having thoughts 51 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: of suicide does not necessarily mean you will hurt yourself, 52 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: but it does mean that something's going on that needs 53 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: some attention and support. There are lots of risk factors 54 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: or things that might make it more likely that someone 55 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 1: might think about suicide, including several things we discussed last 56 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: week like unemployment, isolation, feelings of hopelessness, and the history 57 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: of trauma. Suicide risk also increases if someone in your 58 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: family has died by suicide or if you've attempted suicide before, 59 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: So if you've been experiencing suicidal thoughts. Here are a 60 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: few things that want to offer you that might help 61 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: in those moments. Number one, tell someone and get support. 62 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: I know that this may be incredibly difficult, especially if 63 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: this is a new feeling for you or mental health 64 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: is not something you typically share a lot about. But 65 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,919 Speaker 1: one of the things that can take some of the 66 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,680 Speaker 1: intensity out of these thoughts is to share it with 67 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: a trusted person, someone you know will listen and be 68 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: there to support you. People with suicidal thoughts often feel 69 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: like there'll be a burden to loved ones by sharing 70 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: their thoughts, but many loved ones are happy to show 71 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: up for someone in their time of need. You can 72 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: talk to a loved one, but also consider meeting with 73 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,039 Speaker 1: the therapist who might be able to help you start 74 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 1: through how you're feeling, offer some support, and maybe offer 75 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: some suggestions you might not have considered. Also remember that 76 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: in the US, you can text the word tribe t 77 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: r I B two seven four one seven four one 78 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: and text with the trained listener seven at the crisis 79 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 1: text line. Number two, remove the means. Something else to 80 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: consider if you've thought about suicide and have thought about 81 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: how you might hurt yourself is to remove the means 82 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: you use. This might mean allowing a trusted family member 83 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 1: or friend to temporarily take possession of any firearms, knives, medication, 84 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: or anything else you've considered using to hurt yourself. Number three, 85 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: utilize your coping kit. In session one two of the podcast, 86 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:46,839 Speaker 1: I discussed making a collection of pleasurable activities, calming sense puzzles, 87 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: and other things that can be useful to engage in 88 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 1: when feelings start to become overwhelming and you need to 89 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: take the steam out of them. When you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, 90 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 1: using your coping kit may be a good way to 91 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 1: distract yourself and allow the intensity of your feelings to 92 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: pass day by day, and maybe even hour by hour 93 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: if necessary. As one of my favorite authors, Bossy Ip says, 94 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: allow yourself mourning if you can distract yourself, reach out 95 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:25,279 Speaker 1: for help, fall asleep, et cetera. In the morning, you 96 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: have another opportunity for things to change, for things to 97 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 1: be different, so allow yourself mourning. Number four. Be mindful 98 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: of your drug and alcohol use, as these things can 99 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:44,480 Speaker 1: increase impulsivity. We know that many times when people do 100 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: die by suicide, it's an impulsive act. Even if they've 101 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: thought about it before. So if you're feeling suicidal, be 102 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:58,719 Speaker 1: mindful of your substance use. And number five, be gentle 103 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 1: with yourself. Having suicidal thoughts is not a personal failure. 104 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: It does not mean that you've done anything wrong, that 105 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 1: you're weak, are broken. It likely means that you're in 106 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: a considerable amount of pain. Work hard on silencing those 107 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: negative voices, and treat yourself with radical kindness. I also 108 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: think it's important to spend some time talking about how 109 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: we can help loved ones who might be experiencing suicidal thoughts. 110 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,160 Speaker 1: Here are a few things for you to consider. No. 111 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: One get comfortable directly asking loved ones if they're thinking 112 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: about suicide, and then be ready to respond. Often we're 113 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: uncomfortable asking this question because we worry that will plan 114 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: an idea that wasn't already there. This is not true. 115 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: This is one of the largest misconceptions about suicide. When 116 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: we ask this question, we make the unspeakable speakable and 117 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: allow for the beginning of the conversation. Another concern is 118 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 1: that we don't know exactly what to say. But you 119 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: don't have to be perfect. You just have to be present, 120 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: even virtually, be careful not to get into offering any 121 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: platitudes like everything will be fine or you have so 122 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 1: much to live for, because those kinds of comments can 123 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 1: invoke shame or invalidate the pain that your loved one 124 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 1: is feeling. Number two, gather resources that you think would 125 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 1: be helpful before you need them. Does your area have 126 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: a crisis response team made up of social workers and 127 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: others trained to respond in a mental health crisis. Get 128 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 1: that information and have it on hand. If your loved 129 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 1: one doesn't currently have a therapist, can you offer to 130 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: help them search and maybe even schedule their first appointment. 131 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:58,319 Speaker 1: Number three. Check in often and try to anticipate what 132 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: they may need. If they're struggling with cooking, see if 133 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: it be okay for you to drop off a dish 134 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 1: or have some food delivered to them. That may be 135 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 1: more helpful than saying, hey, just let me know if 136 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,960 Speaker 1: you need anything, because oftentimes, when people are struggling with 137 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: things like depression or suicidal thoughts, it's really hard for 138 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: them to anticipate what they'll need. So if you can 139 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: do some of that leg work for them, that can 140 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: be incredibly helpful. Number four, try not to make them 141 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 1: staying alive about other people saying things like so many 142 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 1: people will be hurt if you die. Our comments about 143 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: how suicide is selfish can leave people feeling even worse. 144 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 1: And number five ask if you can remove any medications, firearms, 145 00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: or other things they may have been thinking about using 146 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: to hurt themselves. I hope that you'll join me this 147 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: month in bringing awareness to this topic by sharing resources, 148 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,640 Speaker 1: starting conversations in your circles, and being intentional about showing 149 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 1: up for others who might be a need. Make sure 150 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,439 Speaker 1: to visit Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Session 151 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: one seventy one for the show notes to check out 152 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 1: some of the resources that I discussed this episode, and 153 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: don't forget to text two of your girls right now 154 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: and tell them to check out the episode. Be sure 155 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,680 Speaker 1: to share your takeaways with us on social media using 156 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: the hashtag tv G in session. If you're looking for 157 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, be sure to check out 158 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com 159 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into 160 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,320 Speaker 1: this topic and connect with some other sisters, come on 161 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: over and join us in the Yellow College Collective. But 162 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,120 Speaker 1: we take a deeper dive into the topics from the 163 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: podcast and just about everything else. You can join us 164 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,839 Speaker 1: at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C. 165 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: Don't forget that if you're looking for a way to 166 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: in summer on a high note, Cricket Wireless has got 167 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 1: just the thing. Get ready for unlimited smiles, unlimited times. 168 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 1: For get four lines of unlimited data for a hundred 169 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 1: dollars a month. Thank you all so much for joining 170 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: me again this week. I look forward to continue in 171 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care,