1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: Buckle up hold sixth. They never heard of buckle up, 2 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: hold on tight here it is job every let all right, 3 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: thank you enough subject. I don't have time for these games. 4 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and I have been married 5 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: for eleven years and one of our main problems is 6 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: his fourteen year old daughter, my stepdaughter. To put it nicely, 7 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: she is a liar and a manipulator. I have always 8 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,480 Speaker 1: treated her as if she was my own child, and honestly, 9 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: I treated her better than her own mother does. I 10 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 1: often made sacrifices to make sure she has what she 11 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 1: needs and wants. My issue is, as long as I 12 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: was spending my money, she loved me to death. The 13 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: moment I told her no and I had to discipline her, 14 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: she turned on me. It's March and this child has 15 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 1: not spoken to me then to December. She even put 16 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,839 Speaker 1: a very hurtful post about me on her Facebook page. 17 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: I showed the Facebook post to her daddy and he 18 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: blew me off. Now he allows her to walk around 19 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: our house and not speak to me. If I say 20 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: anything to her, she acts as though I don't exist. 21 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,760 Speaker 1: She recently texted her daddy lies about me, and he 22 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 1: had the nerve to come home and blow up at me. 23 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 1: She's daddy's baby. So now I have just checked out. 24 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 1: And when it comes, when it comes to her, I 25 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: have blocked her number in my phone, and when she 26 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:33,679 Speaker 1: comes to our house, I stay in my room. My 27 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: husband doesn't understand why I'm so upset. I feel used 28 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,960 Speaker 1: and disrespected. How can I resolve this issue and get 29 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: my husband to see the truth. I'm at the end 30 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: of my rope. Please help. Yeah, this is a bunch 31 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: of disrespect right here, and it's it's on her part, 32 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: the fourteen year old. You shouldn't be in this kind 33 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: of a uh you know, a standoff and impass with 34 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: a fourteen year old child. You shouldn't be. You're a 35 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: grown woman. You've been married to her dad, your husband 36 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: for eleven years. It's time for him to step up 37 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: and be a man and put his fourteen year old 38 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: daughter in her place and let her know that she 39 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: has no right or reason to be disrespecting you, because 40 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: as long as he lets it go on, she feels 41 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,360 Speaker 1: you know, um, she has a right to continue to 42 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: disrespect you. So you don't have to play her games. 43 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: You said you don't you say you don't have time 44 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: for these games. Don't play her games. That's not just 45 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: her dad's house, is your house too, So you have 46 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: to let her know that when she comes to the house, 47 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: she has to speak, not be disrespectful to you. And 48 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: uh you you need to have a conversation with your husband. 49 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: I mean a conversation, not one where you blow up 50 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: and get mad and all of that. You gotta tell him. 51 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: You know, this is your house, and you guys have 52 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: to present a united front to this fourteen year old child. 53 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 1: How is she able to just walk around your house 54 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: and and do all these things? I mean, it's completely disrespectful. 55 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: You gotta let her know. You gotta let him know, 56 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: and you guys got to talk about this situation and 57 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 1: put this fourteen year old child in a child's place 58 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: where she should be. Steve, you know, this is simply 59 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: when adults have allowed a child to get away with 60 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: something and act a certain way without consequence. Far too long. 61 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: She fourteen, who does this? First of all, I know 62 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: exactly where you're coming from with this. As long as 63 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 1: you're spending money, you're cool. But then you don't. I've 64 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 1: seen that before. But let me help you out with 65 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: a couple of things. First of all, this is on 66 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: the father. He cannot let nobody come into your house 67 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 1: and disrespect you. That cannot happen. As a man, he 68 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: should not allow that to happen. The fact that it 69 00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: is March and she ain't spoke can she hasn't spoke 70 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: to you since December? Really? Are you kidding me? I 71 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: wish you would come in my house and don't open 72 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: your mouth to me. I promise you wish you wasn't 73 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: standing in there. I'm gonna tell you, man, you're not gonna. 74 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: You're not gonna. You're not gonna come in my house 75 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: and disrespect me. You shouldn't have to go to your 76 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 1: room because a child is over at the house. Now, 77 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: you're dumb ass husband, Let's just talk. Who's sitting up 78 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,599 Speaker 1: in here? Man and gonna lose his wife over his child. Now, 79 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 1: if it were reversed, I would understand a woman could 80 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,839 Speaker 1: lose her man over a child. If a man is 81 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: disrespectful to the child or to her, then a woman 82 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:57,039 Speaker 1: is different. But this man right here, it is listening 83 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: to everything she said. Ain't listen to nothing you say. 84 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: Now you're in your house, unhappy day downstairs? Eating green 85 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:10,480 Speaker 1: or cheese. Man, what you are. You should not allow 86 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: anyone to come in your house and make you have 87 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: to run for cover. You shouldn't have to do this. 88 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: I promise you, I'm not gonna be the only one 89 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 1: uncomfortable in my house. I bet you, I am. I 90 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: bet you. I'm gonna say that for the second half 91 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: of the left, I'm gonna just come up with a 92 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: list of stone tighten everybody up in here. But hear 93 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: what you're not gonna do though, You're not going to 94 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: ruin my day. And her father should step in and say, 95 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 1: you know what, enough enough, you don't come in here 96 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: and disrespect a woman in her first she just said, 97 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: that's just common courtesy. Skip whatever she feels. You can't 98 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: come to another person's home and disrespect them in their home. 99 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 1: That's basic. I don't want if you don't like the 100 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: rules of a person's house, like my father. Mama always 101 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: told me, if you don't like what's happening down the 102 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: Ricket house, don't go down to Ricket House because it's 103 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,040 Speaker 1: popping off down there. Don't come back up in here 104 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 1: and time out, she hollered at me. Rickey. Mama said 105 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,359 Speaker 1: we had to stop playing marvels and took out marvels. 106 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 1: Don't go to Ricket house playing marvels no more, because 107 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:26,559 Speaker 1: that's that woman house. You should be the same way 108 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: now you're not. So this fourteen year old is disrespecting. 109 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 1: Run all up now. She didn't text him at work. 110 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,679 Speaker 1: He come in and blow up at you over something 111 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: she texts, and she lies. You can fix that. Come 112 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: in here and blow up in me again, and a 113 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: woman in here can't fix that. He come in the 114 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,920 Speaker 1: house and blow up at you over something. She said, 115 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,599 Speaker 1: Come in here one more time, snapping off on me 116 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: with some yoler line as baby then said, m one 117 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 1: more time. Come in here one more time and snap 118 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: off with me with some yellow lines. And don't happens 119 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: you are her, don't. I'm telling you how to end this. 120 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:20,120 Speaker 1: You can end this with some direct conversation sitting up 121 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: in here disrespecting me and my house. When we come back, 122 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a list of things you can do 123 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: where you ain't got the only woman be tightened. This 124 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: happen all right? Come on, let's get part two of 125 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: your response to today's Strawberry letter. I don't have time 126 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 1: for these games here. This fourteen year old girl comes 127 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: over to this woman's house who's married to her father 128 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: for eleven years, and it's just a problem. She hasn't 129 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: spoken to this woman, sins de symbol. She's very disrespectful 130 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: to her when she comes over. Now, the woman goes 131 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: her room until she's gone. A fourteen year old coming 132 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: to my house and I'm going in my room. That's 133 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 1: not for happen. Can I tell you something I didn't 134 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: tell y'all before? Her mama behind this year her mother, 135 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: her mother is blaming this woman in the letter, the 136 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,679 Speaker 1: reason why her dad ain't your relationship? Wow, because listen 137 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: to me, they've been married eleven years. She let's do 138 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: some math. They've been married eleven years. The girl ain't 139 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 1: be four teen. One of them years of her fourteen, 140 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: her mama was pregnant. Hello, some time before that the 141 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: baby had to be conceived. Oh hello, break it down. 142 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: See now do you understand why I'm going with this? Now? 143 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: You had the conception period, the dating period, you had 144 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: the pregnancy. We're only looking at at max. At max 145 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: a year and a half that we can't exactly explain. 146 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,839 Speaker 1: And during that year and a half, and promise you 147 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: he was dating the woman he's married to. Wow, that 148 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:10,959 Speaker 1: woman had just had this baby or pregnant. Now she 149 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: gets the ring and her ass left with the protein. Yell, 150 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: huh so now while she in the hole, when she 151 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: go to visit that healther over. There is the reason 152 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: me and your daddy ain't together. And now she's bringing it. 153 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: She's poisoning the girl's mind. That's your problem. It ain't 154 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:40,959 Speaker 1: the girl, it's her mama. I promise you that's behind now. 155 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: Whether it's behind it or not. What you ain't going 156 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: to come up in my house and do is disrespecting me. 157 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna be the only one in here tight 158 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: what's happening? So I got a few things you can 159 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 1: do here. Now here's the most the one that requires 160 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,320 Speaker 1: the less guts on your part, because you don't want 161 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: hiding in your room from this child every time she 162 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: come over. Leave for two days and don't call your hood. 163 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: Just leave for two days. No, no, Just go somewhere 164 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:26,959 Speaker 1: two days, enjoy yourself, get your spy treatment, going somewhere 165 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 1: in chill, go to work every day. Don't answer his 166 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: call nothing, don't as answering to something. Got a question 167 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:40,439 Speaker 1: that's for one. Here's the next thing you should do. Okay, 168 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: when they put their seal on the table or put 169 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: any plates on your kitchen table, turn the damn table over. 170 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: Ain't nobody else, damn thing you ain't speaking to me, 171 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 1: ain't nobody eating, or turn the damn table ball of seal, 172 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:09,079 Speaker 1: but forgetting whatever, turn it down. That's right. I like it, Steve. 173 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 1: Uh huh, I wish time before we go, Before we go, 174 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 1: walk right up to her as soon as you get 175 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: right in her face, kiss her dad in her damn mouth, 176 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:34,480 Speaker 1: which some tune that I loved you, okay, and that no, 177 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: we're gonna go. Uh we gotta. Yeah, that's how you 178 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 1: throw a person into something. Certainly throw me into something, alright. Please, 179 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. Email us or Instagram 180 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 1: and your thoughts at my girls, Shirley and don't forget 181 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: to join me today at one thirty pm Eastern Time 182 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: for the Strawberry Letter Live after show on Facebook Live. 183 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: You're listening see the Stained Harday Morning Show