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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so. My sister sets an

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Speaker 1: ultimatum for my baby's gender reveal, so I set my

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Speaker 1: own demands.

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Speaker 2: You have now entered negotiations with a master.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend Female twenty six and I Mail twenty nine

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Speaker 1: found out in August that we were going to be

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Speaker 1: parents who our first child. Generally, everyone was very happy

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Speaker 1: about the news. By the way, this comes from primary

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Speaker 1: Tumbleweed eighty nine on the r slash Okay Storytime Celebrate It.

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Speaker 1: So I felt shocked because at the time wasn't planned.

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Speaker 1: I called my mother for reassurance and help. She wasn't happy.

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Speaker 1: I told her over the phone call, which I understand

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Speaker 1: and I'm a likely ahole four. I apologize and we

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Speaker 1: put it behind us. My sister has been supportive. She

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Speaker 1: helped us move to a new house, wanted to take

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Speaker 1: my partner out. Baby shopping in a few weeks. However,

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Speaker 1: my mother was less helpful. We had a FaceTime mid

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Speaker 1: August about housing options, and then my mother randomly asked

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Speaker 1: me if my partner was on the pill. I said yes,

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Speaker 1: and I've seen her take it. And she asked if

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Speaker 1: I was short, almost like she was insinuating that I

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Speaker 1: was baby troup.

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Speaker 2: Are you sure that wasn't a little breath mint she

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Speaker 2: was taking.

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Speaker 1: I have had worries about my sister. I'm happy she's excited,

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Speaker 1: but I feel sometimes she's too much. She was talking

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Speaker 1: about having the baby every weekend so we could do

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Speaker 1: stuff as a couple, and I said, we have to

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Speaker 1: consider both families. She was also concerned about us moving

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Speaker 1: a bit closer to my girlfriend's family instead of mine.

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Speaker 1: She said I wouldn't get as much support. In question

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Speaker 1: the support from my partners, as her mother lives two

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Speaker 1: hours away. I said, she comes down every weekend to

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Speaker 1: look after her mother with dementia. We'll be fine. My

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Speaker 1: sister offered to pay for our gender reveal scamp. We

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Speaker 1: both thought this was a lovely gesture and said yes,

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Speaker 1: my sister understandably wanted to come because she's paying for it.

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Speaker 1: I think that's that's allowed. And my sister told told

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Speaker 1: me that the one she was booking allowed up to

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Speaker 1: five people to come and suggested we bring my mom along.

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Speaker 1: I then said, if she's coming, then my girlfriend's mom

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Speaker 1: should come too. She disagreed because it's the only involvement

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Speaker 1: they'll have during the pregnancy, and my girlfriend's family will

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Speaker 1: be at other events. We said, it's not about who

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Speaker 1: we're including, it's about having support during a personal appointment,

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Speaker 1: and my girlfriend doesn't want only all my family there.

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Speaker 1: My mom previously said either it's just my family or

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Speaker 1: no scam. I said, fine, we'll pay for it ourselves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an easy decision right there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm kicking you out ASA. My sister then messaged

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend to explain her reasoning, which left her in tears.

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Speaker 1: She also said, my family likes to do things separate

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Speaker 1: and they're a bit antisocial. They think meeting my girlfriend's

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Speaker 1: mom at the scan will be awkward. We think this

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Speaker 1: kind of reasoning is selfish and not putting our wishes first.

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Speaker 1: My mom and sister are getting me to understand their reasoning.

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Speaker 1: I do understand it, I just don't agree with it.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend's mom isn't bothered by them not wanting her there,

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Speaker 1: just more by how it's affected us. He told me

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Speaker 1: not to worry about them and hug me. She said

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Speaker 1: she's happy to pay for it and for me to

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Speaker 1: invite whoever I want. This is a post here because

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Speaker 1: despite many agreements about our side of things, I have

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Speaker 1: doubt because my sister was going to pay for it,

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Speaker 1: and I was considering my dad, but my girlfriend's mom

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Speaker 1: believes that that would anger my family. Am I the

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Speaker 1: A hole? So it seems like it's like a disagreement

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Speaker 1: about the guest list for this.

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Speaker 3: Scam, which at this point, if I'm ope, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: no one's coming to the scam. You've all lost scan

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Speaker 3: privileges and you will have to have the gender revealed

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Speaker 3: to you at yeah, assuming they'll do some kind of

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Speaker 3: slive stream it, you know, for something, make some kind

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Speaker 3: of event out of it.

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Speaker 1: We got an edit and an update, so, in conclusion,

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Speaker 1: not the A Hole to elaborate on a few things.

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Speaker 1: The phone call with my mom, it wasn't an initial

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Speaker 1: reaction of how dare I tell her? On the phone,

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Speaker 1: she was happy said congrats. Based on if we were

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Speaker 1: deciding to keep it at the time. It was only

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Speaker 1: found out. She wasn't too happy when we recorded my

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Speaker 1: sister's reaction. And at this event, I told my mother

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Speaker 1: that I was driving to my dad's to see him

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Speaker 1: the next day. My mom doesn't think my dad does

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Speaker 1: enough for me. We see each other rarely in person,

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Speaker 1: maybe like once or twice a year, but we get

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Speaker 1: on fine. It was his first time being a grandfather

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Speaker 1: and my mother's fourth time. My sister has three kids already.

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Speaker 1: He's desperate for a fourth of her own, but my

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Speaker 1: brother in law keeps telling her no.

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Speaker 4: My mom, when I.

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Speaker 1: Mentioned this, suggested just facetiming him, but I said no,

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Speaker 1: and then she said, so he gets a live surprise

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Speaker 1: and I get a phone call.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there it is.

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Speaker 1: I told her I needed initial support and sorry she

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Speaker 1: found out this way. People have asked what's the situation

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Speaker 1: with my dad. Him and my mom have been divorced

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Speaker 1: for twenty four years. He wasn't the kindest to my

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Speaker 1: mother at the time, and I had a stepmother who

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Speaker 1: kept driving a wedge between my dad and I, who

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Speaker 1: has been out of the picture for a few years now.

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Speaker 1: I've told him about this situation and he thinks they're

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Speaker 1: being ridiculous. I get people telling me I need a backbone,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, it's something I've worked harder in therapy to

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Speaker 1: get over. And provide a little backstory, I was an

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Speaker 1: impressionable kid who was suspected of autism at a young age.

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Speaker 1: My mom refused to take me to get assessed because

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Speaker 1: she felt at the time that I should learn alongside

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Speaker 1: the other neurotypical kids. This obviously didn't work because I

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Speaker 1: constantly questioned myself and with the aid of people like

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Speaker 1: my sister reminding me of the little mistakes I made,

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Speaker 1: it continued to knock my confidence back. It seems like

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Speaker 1: the sister has been a problem child from the beginning.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like there has been a conflict, a

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Speaker 3: long history of conflict here.

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Speaker 1: It was only until a breakup, which happened when I

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Speaker 1: was twenty three and a downward spiral depression that I

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Speaker 1: got more help. Doctor said I didn't have autism, but

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Speaker 1: more likely anxiety. Mom and sister insist I do because

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Speaker 1: they think i'll get more support, but linking it with

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Speaker 1: stuff in the post, it feels like grooming, and I

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Speaker 1: pushed back on several occasions just to let me be

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Speaker 1: I get comments about how something I did was autistic thing,

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Speaker 1: which I said stop to. My sister has two kids

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Speaker 1: died dignos with autism and one kid with ADHD, and

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Speaker 1: she works for an autism charity, one on prozac after

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Speaker 1: being diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was also with

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Speaker 1: an ex at the different time and saw subtle controlling

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Speaker 1: method through that and we didn't work out afterwards. That

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Speaker 1: was something my family helped me through. But I'm getting

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Speaker 1: that narcissistic people can often not get along with other

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Speaker 1: narcissist people because they'll try and expose the other person

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Speaker 1: to make themselves look better. So my growing up was

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Speaker 1: conflicted because on one hand there was nitpicking and on

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Speaker 1: the other care that seemed genuine. My mom has also

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Speaker 1: suffered abusive relationships and grieved the death of a partner,

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Speaker 1: so I pinned weird behavior on that. There's a comment

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Speaker 1: somewhere in here which explains the list of stuff my

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Speaker 1: sister did a few years ago which stopped her going

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Speaker 1: to my mom and dad's wedding. And now I'm with

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Speaker 1: a beautiful human being to start a family with. And

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Speaker 1: while it's a shame my family couldn't be cooperative and understanding.

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Speaker 1: She and our baby come first, and we need each

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Speaker 1: other first and foremost. No one is dictating to us

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Speaker 1: about who cares for them or anything else. I called

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Speaker 1: my mom out for what she said about the baby trap.

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Speaker 1: She apologized to me, but not to my partner, who

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Speaker 1: overheard conversation. Ever since then, she's been distant. Writing this now,

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Speaker 1: I'm wondering to myself why I'm even letting her come

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Speaker 1: to with a scan if my partner's mom comes after

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Speaker 1: her behavior. My mom backpedals a lot, says something that

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Speaker 1: would annoy or upset someone and then says it was Joe.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like she just has a bad filter, and then

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Speaker 1: in post is like, oh, take it from the record,

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Speaker 1: that can.

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Speaker 3: We actually roll that back? That was a funny judging

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Speaker 3: from everyone's reaction. I didn't mean anything that I said.

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Speaker 3: I've since told her there was backpedaling, but she denied it.

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Speaker 3: My mom's weird views and separating from my partner's family

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Speaker 3: stems from her own anxiety. I believe, we believe she's

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Speaker 3: on the spectrum. She's in denial about it. We've seen

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Speaker 3: moments of her having some sensory overload, moments being obsessed

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Speaker 3: with specific topics, mostly conspiracy theories, lack of filter at times,

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Speaker 3: and struggle to see things from other's point of view.

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Speaker 3: My sister, I believe, wants to be seen as the

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Speaker 3: best guardian very possibly parents and sees her family as

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Speaker 3: a threat. And there is an update.

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Speaker 1: Hi all, a quick update, but a fair bit has

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Speaker 1: happened in the last twenty four hours and it is

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Speaker 1: not good. First of all, thank you to everyone for

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Speaker 1: your advice. I took it on board, especially the stuff

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Speaker 1: about setting our boundaries now and not taking any more manipulation.

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Speaker 1: There were some people questioning the need for a reveal scan.

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Speaker 1: We just thought it would be nice for our first child.

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Speaker 1: I understand that's not for everyone's liking, but that's what

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Speaker 1: we want to do anyway. My sister called me on Sunday.

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Speaker 1: I explained that my girlfriend should be allowed to have

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Speaker 1: whomever she wants there.

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Speaker 4: That is called great support.

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Speaker 1: Yes, she reiterated the awkwardness of it at the scan,

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Speaker 1: so I suggested a coffee meetup, which he said she'd

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Speaker 1: chat to my mom about. My mom turned it down

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Speaker 1: and said it was too formal. Nothing is good enough

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, straight out, it's like, stop I don't care what

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Speaker 3: your critiques are at this point. You are just going

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Speaker 3: to come and support and accept the conditions.

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Speaker 4: That's it.

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Speaker 1: In her words, I'm sure I'll meet them someday. She

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Speaker 1: suggested we have two separate scans for each of the family.

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Speaker 1: I turned this down because I thought it was gross.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend is not a test subject for other people's enjoyments.

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Speaker 1: Then I said, we'll book our own and invite who

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Speaker 1: we want, or just have it be us. She then

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Speaker 1: turned passive aggressive and said, fine, you do what you want.

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Speaker 1: I've been nothing but supportive, and my girlfriend is going

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Speaker 1: to want her family there for everything I said, this

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Speaker 1: isn't true. She said she wants both families involved. Knowing

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Speaker 1: that they continue to try and make offers for the scan.

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Speaker 1: I sent them a long message to both of them

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Speaker 1: in a group chat. I've out of the screenshots on

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Speaker 1: the Insane Siblings subreddit which you can see on my profile,

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Speaker 1: and as you can see in the reply for my sister.

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Speaker 1: She attempted to gaslight me into feeling bad after she

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Speaker 1: said we part ways. I blocked her on everything. I'm

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Speaker 1: not having that kind of influence in my life and

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Speaker 1: certainly not subjecting my girlfriend to it, especially if they're

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Speaker 1: not going to respect our boundaries. My mom called me

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Speaker 1: a short time after and told me the message was condescending,

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Speaker 1: cold and formal. Oh, now this message is formal. I

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Speaker 1: didn't understand why I was overreacting about the scan. Told

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Speaker 1: me not to interrupt. Even a message I sent her,

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Speaker 1: which was among the same lines as the one in

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Speaker 1: the screenshop. I told her it's not about the scan,

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Speaker 1: it's about the over involvement in general. Clearly my sister

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Speaker 1: left details out because she didn't know about my sister

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Speaker 1: wanting to look after the baby every weekend and being

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Speaker 1: insecure about the support for my girlfriend's family. She said

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Speaker 1: we should all meet up to chat. I'm not having

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Speaker 1: them bully me though. If I'm there to chat, I'm

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Speaker 1: having someone in my corner. She said she didn't want

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Speaker 1: us arguing, but I said, the ball is in my

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Speaker 1: sister's courts. My mom is attempting to play peacemaker and

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Speaker 1: has sided with my sister's erratic behavior, so neither of

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Speaker 1: them I feel like I can really trust. As for

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Speaker 1: this scan, my girlfriend and I booked our own scan

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Speaker 1: and we're having a reveal party next weekend where everyone

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Speaker 1: is welcome.

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Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, that's probably the best, although right now I'm not

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Speaker 1: inviting my mom and sister. I've explained the situation to

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Speaker 1: my dad and he's disgusted at them. My sister and

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Speaker 1: I have different dads.

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Speaker 4: Edit. Sorry, I forgot to add.

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Speaker 1: You're right that I should not have apologized to my

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Speaker 1: mom for how I broke the news to her. He

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Speaker 1: often comments on how my dad doesn't come down to

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Speaker 1: see me, and it's mostly me going up there. My

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Speaker 1: dad and I do talk, and when I go up there,

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Speaker 1: he often wants to pay for everything, no questions asked.

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Speaker 1: I don't take this for granted. Of course, I get

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Speaker 1: rounds of be in to or chip in for takeaway.

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Speaker 1: Either way, I'm happy with the relationship my dad and

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Speaker 1: I have. We've had issues in the past, but we

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Speaker 1: move forward. Also re uploaded screenshotted text message reply from

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Speaker 1: my sister to my profiles and keeps getting taken down

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Speaker 1: on the sub for spam, although Reddit kept blanking the images,

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Speaker 1: so I've added an imager link to them and update two.

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Speaker 1: Since my last update, both my sister and UH and

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Speaker 1: mom have contacted me via text. I borrowed fifty dollars

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Speaker 1: from my sister to help fix my car. My girlfriend

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Speaker 1: and I spent a lot of time moving in my

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Speaker 1: tire blue good timing. I said i'd pay her back

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Speaker 1: on payday, which was Thursday. Her text asked me for

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Speaker 1: the money back and also said I sent the money

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Speaker 1: and I have kids to feed, basically trying to make

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Speaker 1: me out to be a thief. I suspected it was

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Speaker 1: to try to get a reaction out of me, but

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Speaker 1: I silently paid her back the money. After that, I

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Speaker 1: want my distance from her, but I'm not a thief.

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Speaker 1: Then she texted my girlfriend, even though in my long

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Speaker 1: message I added on imager to both of them, satly

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Speaker 1: told them not to make her In regards to the stuff,

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Speaker 1: the message said she hopes the scan went well. She

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Speaker 1: thinks it was this weekend for some reason, even though

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Speaker 1: she was originally going to book it for the fifteenth

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Speaker 1: and we have it booked for the fifteenth. She also

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Speaker 1: told her not to be upset about any of this

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Speaker 1: and wants us both to be happy. I suspect she's

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Speaker 1: fishing for information and as clear as she cares more

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Speaker 1: about the baby than her own relationship. My girlfriend hasn't responded,

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Speaker 1: but nand texted me earlier in the week. Because of

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Speaker 1: the issues with Reddit uploading my images, I'll post the

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Speaker 1: contents of the chat here. Here is the quote. I

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Speaker 1: hardly ever involved myself, but I love you all and

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Speaker 1: I want to put it right. Before sister knew all

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Speaker 1: the people in school, I went to every meeting with her.

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Speaker 1: She feels socially shy meeting new people. So, like mom,

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Speaker 1: I was her comfort blanket. I've now stepped back. Please

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Speaker 1: mend this rift. I think she realizes that you need space.

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Speaker 1: She's breaking her heart. Hold out your hand. Her intentions

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Speaker 1: are good. You made your point, but she adores you

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Speaker 1: and thinks a lot of my girlfriend. I loved you

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00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,959
Speaker 1: both always. Please mend this rift. So Grandma is now.

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Speaker 2: Like Grandma's Grandma's getting involved.

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Speaker 4: Grandma was getting involved.

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Speaker 2: Grandma's being like, you're tearing me a b Is this

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Speaker 2: dementia grandma too? No, I think this is just tactical.

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Speaker 1: But she had because I remember there was someone who

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Speaker 1: was taking care of a dementia.

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Speaker 4: I think this that was on the sister's side.

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Speaker 2: That was yeah, yeah, yeah, that was on the or

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Speaker 2: are exactly girlfriend?

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Speaker 3: Yes, the girls you know and this is why, you know,

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Speaker 3: sometimes as you get older, you get wiser. Yeah, and

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Speaker 3: Grandma said, I know exactly how to tactically to this.

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Speaker 1: Like what Grandma is saying, Oh, the sister's just super

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Speaker 1: shy and that's why she didn't want anyone over, and

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00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,800
Speaker 1: like this is something that's been happening throughout her whole life,

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Speaker 1: and like I was her security blanket back in the day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so she's like, I'm giving you the sneak peek

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Speaker 3: unto what you might not understand. Yeah, because you know,

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Speaker 3: we all have vulnerabilities and insecurities and like things.

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Speaker 2: You know, we all have our own right.

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Speaker 3: But it's like, just because the sister's anxious doesn't mean

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Speaker 3: that she like is allowed to.

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Speaker 4: Could have this kind of control.

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Speaker 1: And you know, someone has an issue of security problems,

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Speaker 1: you know, doesn't mean you have to invite their insecurities

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Speaker 1: and problems to your life. I left it a day,

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Speaker 1: but I replied back that it's not my rift to men.

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Speaker 1: I don't want any breakups in the family, but I

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00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,880
Speaker 1: want my space. They've hurt me and controlled me too

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Speaker 1: many times and I'm not putting up with it anymore.

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00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,840
Speaker 1: My nanas replied, saying she understands and won't take sides.

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Speaker 1: My mom messaged me yesterday morning saying she hopes I'm okay,

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Speaker 1: and also thinking the scan was this weekend, saying she's

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00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 1: away so it wouldn't be able to make it. She

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00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,400
Speaker 1: wanted to come, but is now away. Little she wanted

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Speaker 1: to catch up in a week and talk. Nothing more

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00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,280
Speaker 1: than that. But it doesn't look like either of them

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00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,880
Speaker 1: have any remorse for the way they've behaved. And if

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00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,520
Speaker 1: you want to behave like the good little girl little

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Speaker 1: boy that you are, you should listen to our podcast

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00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,160
Speaker 1: where we released these stories every single day and you

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00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,119
Speaker 1: can listen to them. Well, I don't know dwin laundry,

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00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,120
Speaker 1: freaking work in driving. It could just be in your

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Speaker 1: ear holes twenty four to seven.

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00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,760
Speaker 3: Any podcast platform, just search Okay story time and you

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00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:54,080
Speaker 3: will find whole kit end the boodle.

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00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,320
Speaker 1: But we got a little bit more, a little bit

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00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,360
Speaker 1: more to this story, a little update, so the gender reveal.

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00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,560
Speaker 1: I would have been happy with either gender, but today

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00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,120
Speaker 1: was beautiful with so many supportive people. Haven't spoken with

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Speaker 1: either my mom or my sister since falling out and

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Speaker 1: not told them any details, but we're happy have so

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Speaker 1: many supportive people around, including my dad and my younger

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Speaker 1: siblings who traveled down for today.

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Speaker 2: There.

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Speaker 4: I didn't put that there.

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Speaker 5: Why is there one of.

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Speaker 2: The blue guys from the Hiful of forty or whatever's

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Speaker 2: how is that there?

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Speaker 3: I'm Blue Hamony and I'm that is one of those guys.

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Speaker 4: That is where that story ends. Well, I guess he's

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Speaker 4: so happy that sad? Oh my goodness, he's blue? Is that?

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Speaker 1: I want to say, like someone put that in this effort.

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00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:52,360
Speaker 1: I resent my mentally handicapped sister. I get neglected because

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Speaker 1: of her.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure what to say about this.

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Speaker 4: Maybe say it's bad.

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Speaker 2: That well, the title.

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00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,840
Speaker 1: Makes me sound horrible, but hear me out. My sister

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Speaker 1: is severely autistic. She requires attention almost twenty four to

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Speaker 1: seven and cannot be left alone. She is nonverbal and

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Speaker 1: cannot take care of herself at all, despite the fact

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Speaker 1: that she's only twelve. She's extremely destructive and violent and

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Speaker 1: destroys anything she gets her hand on. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from a renegade's Rule thirty three on the

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Speaker 1: r slash Okay Storytime celebrut It. I hate her. That

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00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,360
Speaker 1: would be wrong to say, but it doesn't feel like it.

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00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 1: I was only six years old when she was born,

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Speaker 1: and since then I've never solely had my parents attention.

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Speaker 1: Even since I can remember, the world has revolved around her.

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Speaker 1: I was moved out of my room into the basement

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Speaker 1: at seven because she needed to be in the room

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Speaker 1: next to my parents. All of my toys as a

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00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:45,520
Speaker 1: child were destroyed by her. My parents simply ignored me

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00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,040
Speaker 1: when I complained. Even when I was fourteen and she

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Speaker 1: destroyed a mac my school gave me, I was in

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00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 1: the wrong. Along with this, I am expected to take

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Speaker 1: care of her and drop everything I do for her.

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00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,000
Speaker 1: I can never make plans with a friend because my

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Speaker 1: parents expect me to be there if they need me

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Speaker 1: to take care of her. Even when I do somehow

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Speaker 1: get the time to myself, I am required to leave

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Speaker 1: if they need me. If I do not, I am punished.

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Speaker 1: The recent example of this is when I went to

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Speaker 1: see the New Spider Man movie and was grounded because

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Speaker 1: I turned my phone off in the theater. It seems

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Speaker 1: as if I am nothing more than a slave to them,

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00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:24,200
Speaker 1: and anything involving her simply overshadows me. This last week,

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00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,160
Speaker 1: I was chosen to give a speech at a school event.

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00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,160
Speaker 1: I was so excited, and my parents promised to be there,

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Speaker 1: but they never showed and claimed it was because of

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Speaker 1: my sister. Anytime anything like this happens for me, they

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00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 1: are simply too busy with her. I've held this in

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Speaker 1: for so long, and it finally spilled out today while

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00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,240
Speaker 1: talking about colleges with my father. He joked that I

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Speaker 1: should get a degree that pays well so when they're gone,

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Speaker 1: I can take care of my sister. I don't know why,

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00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,520
Speaker 1: but this caused me to break down. I cried and

400
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 1: screamed about how it was always about her. I'm nothing

401
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 1: more than a caretaker to them, and they always make

402
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 1: it about her, and that I'm expected to be her

403
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 1: slave for the rest of my life. Locked myself in

404
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,119
Speaker 1: my room since, and my parents have not come to

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Speaker 1: check on me. Am I the a hole here And

406
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,160
Speaker 1: there is an update. When the parents have a kid,

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00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,119
Speaker 1: it's really up to the parents to take care of

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Speaker 1: that child. It's not like you can't parentify your other children.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that being said, when it's like such a high

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00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,320
Speaker 3: degree of like needs, yeah, care that's required.

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Speaker 1: That being said, I wasn't in this situation, but like, uh,

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00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,919
Speaker 1: there were a lot of moments where I had to

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Speaker 1: do things as an older sibling for my younger sibling.

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00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:32,399
Speaker 1: I don't think my parents, you know, completely pushed that

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Speaker 1: on me. I think they did a really good job

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00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:38,400
Speaker 1: of that balance. But I think there are cases where

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00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,760
Speaker 1: you the parents, like are it's okay for parents to

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Speaker 1: ask for help with the younger kids, but to this degree,

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Speaker 1: no way.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for all the support and love that you

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00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,159
Speaker 1: guys have given me. I never expected this post to

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Speaker 1: reach the popularity it did.

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Speaker 4: Thank you all.

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00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,399
Speaker 1: After thinking about it for these past hours. You are

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00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,199
Speaker 1: right that I don't despise my sister. It's not her

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00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,720
Speaker 1: fault that she was born the way she is. My

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00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,400
Speaker 1: parents came to talk talk to me a while after

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Speaker 1: my breakdown, but I was unable to bring myself to

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Speaker 1: talk to them and only cried and asked them believe.

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00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 1: They have made arrangements with my grandfather for me to

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Speaker 1: stay with him for the time being, and I'm getting

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00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,240
Speaker 1: ready to go to his house. My parents want to

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00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,520
Speaker 1: talk to me, but we've decided it's best I leave

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00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,879
Speaker 1: for now to have some space and time to collect myself.

436
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,920
Speaker 1: We will be sitting down and talking later this week

437
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:19,639
Speaker 1: about this issue.

438
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 4: Thank you.

439
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 1: All again love and support through this. I'll send an

440
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 1: update your guys's way later this week if people are

441
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,920
Speaker 1: interested and there is another update, I'm back, like I

442
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 1: said I would be. My original post got a lot

443
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:33,159
Speaker 1: of attention in seeing as you guys seem interested. Here's

444
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 1: my updates. Well, since that day I made a post,

445
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 1: I've been staying with my grandfather. The week's been honestly

446
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 1: a huge change for me, for better and for worse.

447
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:44,119
Speaker 1: But I'll try to run it down. I started by

448
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 1: telling my grandpa the story of why I broke down

449
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 1: the way I did, and to be honest, he seemed horrified.

450
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 1: No one in my family knew my parents were using

451
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,879
Speaker 1: me as essentially a free care service for my sister.

452
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,120
Speaker 1: My grandma told me some things that I don't feel

453
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 1: comfortable repeating here, but in essence, my sister is supposed

454
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 1: to be getting care from a professional and that my

455
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: parents were ignoring that. Along with this, I was not

456
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 1: supposed to be caring for her at all with her

457
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 1: mental state, as apparently she is a danger to herself

458
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 1: and others. With everything else I told him, along with

459
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 1: stuff like the movie Indecent. He was really mad and

460
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 1: told me not to contact my parents without him being there.

461
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 1: He pretty much told me that he would be meeting

462
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,439
Speaker 1: with my parents beforehand, and that he was going to

463
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 1: be there when I sat down with them. Shout out, Grandpa.

464
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 1: I didn't end to here either. The rest of the

465
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 1: week consisted of other family checking in on me and

466
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 1: telling me things my parents hid from me. This included

467
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:38,280
Speaker 1: the fact that my parents have been taking money from

468
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,919
Speaker 1: family to fund a caretaker that doesn't exist.

469
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 3: Oh my god, your parents is stung, dad, Oh my god.

470
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 4: Wow.

471
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 1: Device to say, this week has been rough, But the

472
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,440
Speaker 1: upside is that even through all of this, my extended

473
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,240
Speaker 1: family has been giving me more love than I felt

474
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:00,080
Speaker 1: in a while. My grandfather spent this last week making

475
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,200
Speaker 1: up for time I've lost, encouraged me to spend time

476
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,919
Speaker 1: with friends and do things I want to do. My

477
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: aunts and uncles have also been helping me through the week.

478
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 4: Well.

479
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 1: Saturday night, I sat down with parents to talk. I

480
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 1: went badly, To say the least, They came clean to

481
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 1: me about everything. They told me things I will not

482
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 1: repeat here, but they did not apologize. My parents still

483
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 1: claim that I somehow owed my sister my time. My

484
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 1: father even saying you were put here to be her caretaker.

485
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: You chose to have a child, and it is your

486
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,000
Speaker 1: responsibility to take care of that child, not to just

487
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 1: flip it on whoever is nearest. I won't lie and

488
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 1: say I was composed after everything I learned. I confronted

489
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: them on the fact that my sister needed a caretaker,

490
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,119
Speaker 1: the money my dad was taking from a sister, and

491
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,680
Speaker 1: a few other things. They denied it or made excuses,

492
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 1: and in the end we ended off in a worse place.

493
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 1: So today will be my last time talking to them

494
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 1: for a while. After talking with my grandfather and uncle

495
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 1: last night, I'm not going back later today, I'm going

496
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,439
Speaker 1: there and picking up my stuff and moving on with

497
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 1: my grandfather. When I graduate high school, I'm planning on

498
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 1: leaving the state to go to school. My aunt has

499
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 1: told me that the money she was sending my dad

500
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 1: will be instead be coming to me from now on.

501
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: Imagine if OPI didn't have the grandpa, Like the grandpa's

502
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 1: really stepping in right here. Yeah, And I think also

503
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 1: that just goes to show if you feel like something

504
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 1: is going on in your family that is like unfair,

505
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 1: I don't know, just like seems like that makes you unhappy,

506
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: probably going to your extended family, like you might be

507
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,680
Speaker 1: surprised with the support that you get.

508
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it. It pays to speak up.

509
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 3: It pays to speak I think in this context, like

510
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 3: if you had even spoken up to your parents, they

511
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,200
Speaker 3: probably wouldn't have done anything about it from the sound

512
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 3: of it.

513
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 2: Like, but at the very least, like, but.

514
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 4: You can start letting it be.

515
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,440
Speaker 1: You can start with your parents and then yeah, are terrible,

516
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: you know, move up the ladder.

517
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, because your parents have parents.

518
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,640
Speaker 4: Your parents have parents, and those parents have parents.

519
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 3: And then those parents have also who are statistically probably

520
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 3: no longer.

521
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know with a prairie ancestor just read,

522
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 1: just read. My parents have called me twice on Saturday.

523
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 1: Neither of them were to apologize, and only ask when

524
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,040
Speaker 1: I was coming home. I won't be going back to

525
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 1: them right now. I'll feel pretty uneasy about everything, but

526
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 1: I feel like that will pass. The rest of my

527
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 1: family is showing their support to me, and honestly I

528
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 1: feel great, But in the end, I lost my parents.

529
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: Over all of this, I've learned something that I wish

530
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: I saw earlier. I don't hate my sister. In fact,

531
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 1: I love her. With all my heart. I should have

532
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: never projected my hate onto her.

533
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 4: That was wrong.

534
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 1: Someday I hope to make up for it, but for

535
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: now I need to leave. So there's my update. Thanks

536
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 1: again for the support my original post Scott. There is

537
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 1: more to the story. I really appreciate everyone who took

538
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,159
Speaker 1: the time to comment or show me support. Thank you,

539
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: and there is an edits. I wish I could respond

540
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: to every post or every comment. I'll be update tonight

541
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 1: on how the move went, but until then, thank you all.

542
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 1: I want to say that your support has been amazing

543
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 1: and your kindness means more than anyone could imagine. And

544
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 1: late edit whow. I never imagined my story would reach

545
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 1: the popularity it did. I know it's kind of cliche,

546
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 1: and I've said it a thousand times. Thank you all.

547
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 1: We just got back from moving things out of my parents' house.

548
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: Everything I wanted to take. My grandpa and uncle help move,

549
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,159
Speaker 1: and it's at my grandpa's house now. I have my

550
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 1: birth certificate, focal security card, and every other document and

551
00:23:57,600 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: record I could think of. My parents were quiet the

552
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: whole time. Was Shortly after I arrived, my dad left

553
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 1: with my sister and my mom only hovered over us

554
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: silently as I moved. It took a while, but as

555
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 1: we left, he broke down and told me she loved

556
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: me and would miss me. I hugged her and said goodbye.

557
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 4: That was that. But you should never say goodbye.

558
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 1: Us, because you can listen to us twenty four to

559
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 1: seven in your ear holes on our podcast Okay story

560
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: Time wherever you get your podcasts, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, one

561
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: of the weird ones that I'm not mentioning, just freaking

562
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 1: put us.

563
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 4: In your ear holes.

564
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: You could do it while you're running, while you're working,

565
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: while you're doing the dishes, while you're making food.

566
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 3: The possibilities are endless, endless, endlessly. I gotta do a search. Okay,

567
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:40,159
Speaker 3: story Time, there's a.

568
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:42,360
Speaker 1: Little bit more to this story. Even now I sit

569
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 1: here and think, if she really meant it.

570
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 2: I mean, that's what I was gonna say.

571
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,720
Speaker 3: It's like, how are you gonna like do that weird

572
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 3: silent hover and then be like I love you, I'm

573
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 3: gonna miss you. It's like it feels like you're weird

574
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 3: silent hover tactic to I guess what, try to get him.

575
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 2: To be like okay, fine, alms, yeah.

576
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 3: And then it's like you're like, well, let me try

577
00:24:58,680 --> 00:24:59,919
Speaker 3: to emotionally guilt me.

578
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 4: I don't know.

579
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: I think I think it card sorry though you're not sorry,

580
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 1: and they didn't do what was right. But there's more

581
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: to the story. But I do think that maybe maybe

582
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 1: that it was genuine where it was like a oh,

583
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 1: I actually am slowly realizing what I did was wrong

584
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 1: or like the effects of my actions. At least we

585
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,359
Speaker 1: can hope. Right now, I think I just need to

586
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 1: look ahead. Maybe one day me and my parents can reconnect.

587
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 4: I hope.

588
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 1: So thank you for all the advice and love. It's

589
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,159
Speaker 1: been amazing and I'm glad that through this experience I

590
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,880
Speaker 1: at least got some positives out of this mess. Will

591
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 1: I come back, I don't know. If something happens and

592
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 1: you guys still want an update, I'll maybe come around again.

593
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: But for now I'm going to move on. For all

594
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 1: those out there who shared their stories with me, thank you,

595
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: and I hope to see you on the other side.

596
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:53,719
Speaker 1: See you space cowboys, and that is where that story is. Wait, look, oh,

597
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 1: we did you embroider that.

598
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 2: I am?

599
00:25:58,119 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 3: He?

600
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 5: Did you know?

601
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,200
Speaker 4: He's a real one?

602
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 3: Hey, John Ogi host here, We're gonna get back to

603
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 3: this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads

604
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 3: from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

605
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 4: I broke the cycle of poverty and I'm proud of myself. Bravo. Yeah,

606
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,280
Speaker 4: stand up, stand up, get that crop shot on here.

607
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 1: I grew up in a single wide, two bedroom trailer

608
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 1: with my mom stepdad, the dad who at seventeen fell

609
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 1: in love with my twenty two year old single mom

610
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: with three kids. He is my dad and my two brothers.

611
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Pretty Pink Nails on

612
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytimes Robert It So. We were poor,

613
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 1: but they always made sure we did extracurricular sports, Scouts,

614
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 1: church stuff in this summer for free daycare and so

615
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 1: many camping and hunting trips. I didn't see that we

616
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: were below poverty until junior high. I began going to

617
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: friends houses whose homes were so big and nice and

618
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: they had their own rooms. I never had friends over

619
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: because I shared a room with my two brothers and

620
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 1: our bathroom didn't even have a door. But I had

621
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: an amazing child. At fourteen, my parents divorced and my

622
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: mom couldn't afford a place, so we lived in a

623
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: camper from November two thousand and four to June two

624
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: thousand and five. During that time, I had no leash.

625
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 1: My dad had always been very strict with me about curfew,

626
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 1: phone actors, et cetera. But with the freedom of an absent,

627
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 1: overworked mother and a dad who didn't care, I went

628
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 1: a little while. I began drinking and hanging out with

629
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: the wrong kids, with all the parties and stuff. I

630
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 1: never did substances. I never missed a day of school,

631
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: and I worked three days a week of bussing tables

632
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: and doing dishes at a cafe near the RV park.

633
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 1: Sounds like you worked hard, play hard. I bought my

634
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 1: own clothes, food, and kept minutes on my track phone

635
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: where my nineties baby's at, and did whatever I wanted.

636
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: I figured it wasn't a big deal because I was

637
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: good at home, had good grades, and never got in trouble.

638
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 1: My brothers were doing enough of that for my mom.

639
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: My older brother was doing hard substances and getting into trouble.

640
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,959
Speaker 1: My little brother was diagnosed with multiple mental health issues

641
00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 1: and had my mom in tears half the time. Our

642
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: biological dad tried coming back around, but couldn't stay out

643
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 1: of jail. He passed away in prison when I was

644
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: twenty three due to a hemorrhage in his stomach. So

645
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 1: we were told and I say biological because that is

646
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 1: another can of worms. And my dad and I only

647
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,920
Speaker 1: talked once a month if that. End of my freshman year.

648
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: We moved in with my grandparents until my mom had

649
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: enough save for an apartment. And then I found out

650
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 1: I was pregnant.

651
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 2: Dang, that is a on slot all stuff. Oh my goodness.

652
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: I knew exactly who the father was and I knew

653
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 1: I would never see him again. Okay, well he was

654
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: front and we only met twice. I was terrified. I

655
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: didn't know what to do. I cried a lot. I

656
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: tried so many things to lose my pregnancy. I don't

657
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: think I actually accepted that I was pregnant until life

658
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: was forced to tell my mom, and that didn't happen

659
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: until I was six months along. I did not care

660
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 1: for my body, starved myself. I wore loose fitting clothes.

661
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: I was also lying to everyone about my pregnancy. It

662
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: was getting too hard to and I ended up confiding

663
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 1: in someone who helped me tell my mom. She took

664
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 1: it better than I could have imagined. My whole family did.

665
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: Looking back at it now, I had no reason to

666
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: be worried. I have an amazing family. Once the news

667
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: was out, I never disclosed who the father was. I

668
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: told everyone it was a one night stand and that

669
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: it didn't matter. I was not sure if I wanted

670
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: to give the baby up for adoption or keep them.

671
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: That my mom suggested that she and her new husband

672
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,239
Speaker 1: would adopt the baby. It was never an option. As

673
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: soon as she said those words, I knew this was

674
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 1: my baby. No one was going to raise my child

675
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: to be in the same cycle I was raised him.

676
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: How could I guarantee that whomever adopted them would be

677
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 1: a good parent. What if they ended up like my

678
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 1: parents and the baby continues the poverty cycle. No, this

679
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: was my child, and I'm going to break the cycle.

680
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 1: Just two months after my sixteenth birthday, I gave birth

681
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 1: to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I didn't know what

682
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: to do with this thing. By this point, my dad

683
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 1: and I had begun healing our relationship, and he stayed

684
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: with me all night at the hospital. He's the one

685
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: who talked to me about my hormone changes and body

686
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 1: changes for after giving birth. This was coming from a

687
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: man who at the time had no biological children and

688
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 1: had to raise three that were not his. My dad

689
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: is my role model when it comes to my standards

690
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: of men and fathers. From the beginning, he was such

691
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: an easy baby, always happy and on the go, walking

692
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: at ten months and learning every day. I was able

693
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: to finish high school with my class in two thousand

694
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,480
Speaker 1: and eight with honors. My family was my support system

695
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: to graduate high school. I was determined to finish high

696
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 1: school like a normal teenager. Are they able to do

697
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: all the things you do in traditional American high schools

698
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: and raise my son. My family helped so much so

699
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 1: I could still experience life. I moved out after high

700
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 1: school multiple times. I worked dead end jobs after dead

701
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 1: end waitress jobs. I had so many failed relationships that

702
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: I felt like a failure. I was living with my

703
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 1: son and my grandparents dilapidated motor home. But if he

704
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 1: needed something, I made it happen. New clothes, field trips, movies,

705
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: anything I could make memories. By the time he started school,

706
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 1: I was drowning. I was broken, sad all the time.

707
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 1: Then I was given a new job opportunity, and I

708
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: swooped that up fast. A year after I took that job,

709
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 1: I was able to afford my first apartments. I bought

710
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: my first grown up car for adventures with my son

711
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: and dog, and I was beginning to become happy. Still

712
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: in date much because I never met anyone who I

713
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: felt was the right man to be in my son's life,

714
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: and I never tried to find his dad because I

715
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: only had maybe three identifiers for him. We lived in

716
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,719
Speaker 1: that apartment for five years. I was beginning to make

717
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 1: some decent money, but always lived like I was going

718
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: to be broke the next day. I was never taught

719
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 1: financial planning and was in so much debt. I was

720
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 1: making really good money but could never make ends meet.

721
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: But in twenty nineteen, I met my now husband is

722
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 1: everything we needed to make our world right. He is

723
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 1: my true soulmate, and I knew I was destined to

724
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 1: go through all I did to end up where I

725
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 1: was when we met.

726
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 2: That's the alchemist type stuff right there.

727
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: He is the father my son needed at the time

728
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: in his life where he needed a father most. I

729
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,640
Speaker 1: raised my son when I needed him most. He is

730
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 1: truly the best thing I've ever done in this life.

731
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: Plus he got two siblings that he gets along with

732
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 1: so well. I love all of my kids. This year,

733
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: our son turned eighteen and wanted to find his biological dad.

734
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: I have never lied to him about what I knew

735
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: of his father. It was never information that anyone else needed,

736
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: so I never shared with my family until he was

737
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: old enough to understand why he was not around. It

738
00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 1: was a very hard decision for me to make, so

739
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: I had my husband start the twenty three and MES process.

740
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: Here we go, here we find in the dead.

741
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: It was the longest four weeks ever. I couldn't sleep,

742
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 1: I couldn't eat. I had so many anxiety attacks. What

743
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: if he was a deadbeat and he breaks his heart?

744
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: What if he doesn't accept him? There were so many

745
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: what ifs that I couldn't function. Then we get the

746
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 1: result and he is a decent human being. Oh okay,

747
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: he has other kids and has been married a few times.

748
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: He looks exactly as I remembered. How can I forget

749
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: when my son has his eyes? We tell our son

750
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 1: first and show him on the DNA side, and then

751
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 1: that we found him on Facebook. We gave him the

752
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 1: option to reach out or not, and he asked me

753
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,920
Speaker 1: to send a message. One thing led to another, and

754
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: the next thing we know, he is coming to our

755
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: state to meet him. I am so relieved and happy

756
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: that they are getting along so well. His father and

757
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: I had a chance to talk, and I made it

758
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 1: very clear that I held no ill will towards him,

759
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: that I don't think he ruined my life, and that

760
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 1: he gave me the greatest blessing ever. He told me,

761
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 1: I raised a wonderful young man. Now I'm sitting here

762
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: in the house that my husband and I closed on

763
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 1: last week, reflecting on how far I've come from living

764
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: in a single wide trailer with parents who resented one

765
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: another to becoming a successful, confident mother, wife, and businesswoman

766
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: who loves her amazing husband and family. And if you

767
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: love us, you should listen to our podcast that we

768
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: released every day on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you

769
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 1: listen to your podcast and you can listen while you're

770
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: doing other stuff.

771
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 4: It's great, it's awesome. Listen to us in your ear holes.

772
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: Search okay, story of Time, wherever you get your podcasts.

773
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 1: I'm a woman who celebrates being in her career for

774
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 1: eleven years tomorrow, a single teen mom who's raised an amazing,

775
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: caring and trade school bound young man. I broke that

776
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: cycle of poverty in my family. I am not a

777
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 1: statistic I am proud of myself. I am proud of

778
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 1: my husband and I and I am so proud of

779
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,680
Speaker 1: my son. I chose to be happy and keep breaking

780
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: the cycle. That is where that story and that's right.

781
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: And I think that last sentence was a call to action.

782
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 4: Yeah it was not.

783
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:12,760
Speaker 2: I chose. It was choose shoes and break the cycle.

784
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,240
Speaker 3: Choose to be happy and keep breaking It is a choice,

785
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,359
Speaker 3: right choice I had. I've told this to so many

786
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 3: people today. I had one of the main the maintenance

787
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 3: guide our apartment. Like I woke up today, I was

788
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:23,320
Speaker 3: kind of I woke up on the wrong side of

789
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 3: the bed, like my shoulders bugging me. I had some acne.

790
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 3: I ate bad last night, not a good morning. Woke up,

791
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 3: got to the elevator maintenance guy one eighty my day.

792
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,879
Speaker 2: He was like, you're going to make some money today, man.

793
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 2: I was like yeah, and he's like, yeah, you got

794
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 2: a million dollar smile.

795
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 3: You're gonna make all this money. Oh we only got

796
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 3: one today. He was basically just like, seize the day,

797
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 3: but are you so wholesome about it? It was like, yeah,

798
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 3: and you can choose to seize the day. Yeah, this

799
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,160
Speaker 3: is this, this is what I've been doing lately.

800
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 1: Like you know, there's a lot of things going on

801
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,520
Speaker 1: behind the scenes that we got to keep track of

802
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,280
Speaker 1: for the show, and sometimes it gets a little overwhelming

803
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 1: and a little stressful. But every time, like like sometimes

804
00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: like you know, I'm thinking like two or three years out,

805
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,640
Speaker 1: like yeah, I was gonna take over, and I'm like

806
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be out of a job and like

807
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: all this stuff, and then I just kind of like

808
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,719
Speaker 1: move back my focus to the present moment and the

809
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,839
Speaker 1: closer I am to just being in my little seat

810
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: and my body and be like, oh, this is nice,

811
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 1: Like the happier I am. I took up my I

812
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,680
Speaker 1: have a little clicker. You guys know about my clicker clicker?

813
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 4: Yes. Yeah.

814
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: For my sister's birthday present, I got her jazz piano

815
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 1: lessons and she had her first lesson this morning, and

816
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 1: I like was going down the stairs and I was

817
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: looking at her play piano and I made eye contact

818
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 1: her with her, and I was just like like.

819
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 4: She was like smiling.

820
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: I like I was smiling, and she was playing girl,

821
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: put your records on, it's awesome, and I think you know, yes,

822
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 1: there's always bad crap going on, but you can really

823
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,400
Speaker 1: change how you feel in every moment if you just

824
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 1: choose to just go back into the present, like, oh.

825
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 3: It's exactly and it's like we are alive today and

826
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 3: there might not be it tomorrow and there yesterday is gone.

827
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 3: So literally, the only thing that is a real thing

828
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 3: is today. So every day we can choose to just

829
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 3: be this is the best day. Yeah day, I'm alive today,

830
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 3: So today is the best day.

831
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 1: I went outside after I saw my sister play, and

832
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: I was looking at a blue trash can and I'm like.

833
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 4: That blue is great.

834
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 2: It's a nice blue.

835
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 4: That's a nice blue.

836
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:14,919
Speaker 2: It's a nice shade of blue.

837
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 4: That's a nice shade of bit.

838
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 2: That's truly appreciating the little things right there.

839
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 5: Yeah.

840
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 4: So yeah, this is your your your daily reminder to

841
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 4: just love every moment.

842
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 3: My late husband had an a fair baby, and I

843
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 3: refuse to lend any money.

844
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 4: That's tricky money.

845
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 2: Please that baby. I ain't getting my money.

846
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 3: My husband passed away almost three years ago, leaving me

847
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,239
Speaker 3: a solo mom of an eight year old. I've learned

848
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 3: a lot about who he really was. Since then, let's

849
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 3: just say if he were alive, we wouldn't still be married.

850
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user one teaching three

851
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 3: five seven seven, and you can submit your stories on

852
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 3: the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So about six weeks ago,

853
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 3: a process server showed up trying to serve him with

854
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,520
Speaker 3: a court order to submit DNA tests for a kid.

855
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 5: Serve who whoa serve? Opie's late Husband's like, hey, he's

856
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 5: oh gone.

857
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, oh my god, Okay. I gave him a

858
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 3: copy of the certificate and sent him on his way.

859
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 3: WHOA shortly after that, a woman shows up on my

860
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 3: doorstep saying that the kid she had with her was

861
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 3: my late husband's child. Is it?

862
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 2: I don't know and I don't care.

863
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,839
Speaker 3: It kind of looks like him, but also looks young

864
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 3: enough that they would have had to have been conceived

865
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 3: very very shortly before his I told her that he

866
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 3: was gone and where she could find his grave. She

867
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 3: almost immediately started demanding her half of his estate. What

868
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 3: what the heck you're talking about?

869
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 2: I laughed and told her that half of nothing was

870
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 2: nothing and she was welcome to that.

871
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 5: Like is you can multiply zero all you want, there's nothing.

872
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 2: She's like, Oh, okay, hold out your hand. Ooh do

873
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 2: you feel that? Yeah, that's the weight of nothing. Just

874
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 2: blow in her face. There it is a light breeze

875
00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 2: is all you will receive.

876
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 3: Where I've been informed that I might be the a

877
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 3: hole is that while it's true there was no estate,

878
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 3: there were assets that passed outside of probate. One of

879
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 3: these assets was a rental property that his parents gave

880
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 3: us years ago, deeded with him and I as joint

881
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 3: tenant with rights of survivorship. In short, it became mine

882
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 3: when he passed. I've already sold it and that will

883
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 3: be the money that sends my kid to college. Legally,

884
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 3: I'm good. I've already talked to my attorney about this.

885
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 3: But while I do feel bad for the child, I

886
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 3: also have a child of my own to look out for.

887
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,240
Speaker 3: I'm going to edit this to answer a few questions

888
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 3: that I've gotten. No, there was no will in place

889
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:43,439
Speaker 3: for him in my state. Intest state inheritance laws say

890
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 3: that if the only heirs are me and my child,

891
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 3: then the first fifty thousand dollars of the estate go

892
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 3: to me and my child gets half of what's left.

893
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:52,759
Speaker 3: If this does turn out to be his child, then

894
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:54,959
Speaker 3: half of the estate would go to me and half

895
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 3: to the children. So my child would get twenty five

896
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 3: percent and the other child would get twenty five percent.

897
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 2: We are good, okay, Yeah, so this is not a

898
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 2: copy of this.

899
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 3: However, that is a moot point because his estate was

900
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,720
Speaker 3: literally an empty bank account and forty dollars in cash.

901
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 5: He's like, Okay, you get ten bucks, my kid gets

902
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 5: ten bucks, and I get twenty.

903
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 3: Yes, and we're gonna take a time machine back to

904
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 3: the seventeen hundred so they can buy a house with that.

905
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 5: Woo.

906
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 3: Everything else passed outside of probate. A good estate attorney

907
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 3: is worth every penny. Even if I never could get

908
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 3: him to meet with her to do this, dang will.

909
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 3: There was no life insurance. Yes, I'm in the US

910
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 3: and my child is receiving survivors benefits. They aren't huge,

911
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 3: but they do pay for the therapy bills. He hadn't

912
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,760
Speaker 3: worked for a vast majority of our marriage, but luckily

913
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 3: did have enough credits to qualify. At this point, I'm

914
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 3: not opposed to helping the other child receive the same

915
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 3: benefits since it won't affect mine. However, my attorney is

916
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 3: recommended to hold off at this time because we don't

917
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 3: know what she's planning.

918
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 2: Yes, you never know what they could be plotting.

919
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 5: Coins though, because like I mean, no, he hasn't really

920
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,479
Speaker 5: brought up like my husband cheated on me. She doesn't

921
00:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 5: seem that shocked.

922
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 3: Well, I mean she did like start off with being

923
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 3: like I would not be marrying this man. To be

924
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,080
Speaker 3: married to this man, well, I think it's because Op

925
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 3: wrote this story. Yeah, right, I think and the heat

926
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 3: of the moment, I'm like, yeah, wouldn't you be sho

927
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 3: kind of.

928
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,439
Speaker 5: Like shot like, oh my god, shed me. It doesn't

929
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 5: seem like she knew about it.

930
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 6: Like he's long gone now.

931
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean it sounds like the vibe was

932
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 2: just like, look, I'm not dealing with this right now.

933
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 2: It's like, okay to talk to my lawyer. I'm sorry,

934
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 2: you figure it out with him.

935
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 4: That's too much.

936
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 3: She assures me that if the other mother files with

937
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 3: Social Security that they will backdate any payments to at

938
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,800
Speaker 3: least the date filed, so holding off won't affect the

939
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 3: total amount. If it does turn out to be his child.

940
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 3: I have no idea if she knew he was married

941
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,320
Speaker 3: at the time or not. My husband's parents are alive,

942
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 3: but our relationship is strained at best. I haven't told

943
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,200
Speaker 3: them about any of this and have done my best

944
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 3: to let them keep believing that their son was a saint.

945
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 2: And we do have some relevant comments. Number one, not

946
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 2: the a hole.

947
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 3: For having nothing to offer, but you are definitely the

948
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 3: a hole for referring to this child as an it,

949
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 3: like he or she isn't even alive to you. How

950
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,759
Speaker 3: hateful That child is innocent completely and they are a

951
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,479
Speaker 3: person who did literally nothing to ask for your cruel

952
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 3: dismissiveness of their very humanity.

953
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 5: Okay, that's a little bit going way too far.

954
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:15,439
Speaker 4: That's pretty extra.

955
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 5: That's pretty extra. Ob He literally said, Yeah, I would

956
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 5: be totally fine with getting the kid, you know, the

957
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,839
Speaker 5: same benefits, since there's no hate here.

958
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 2: She's just killing She's just like, I don't have room

959
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 2: to think about another kid when I have my kid

960
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 2: to take care of.

961
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 5: That's a that's a huge reach.

962
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's why that comment was downvoted.

963
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 3: Ope responds, I'm trying to maintain some semblance of privacy

964
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 3: here by not referring whether it's a boy or a girl.

965
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,440
Speaker 3: I live in a small town, and their rumors are

966
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 3: already flying. Comm Enter two says, not the a hole,

967
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,760
Speaker 3: and for what it's worth, that's not a terribly uncommon scam.

968
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 4: For some reason.

969
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 3: If you still have the papers, I'd look into if

970
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 3: they were even legitimate. OHP says they were. That's the

971
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 3: first thing my attorney looked into. The working theory is

972
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 3: that she really didn't know when she filed why she

973
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,440
Speaker 3: waited so long as anyone's guess. Commentry three also agrees,

974
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,320
Speaker 3: not the a hole. You owe her nothing looking for

975
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 3: more info, though, other than her word, do you have

976
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 3: any proof that he actually did sleep with her? Do

977
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,959
Speaker 3: you have any other reason to change your opinion about

978
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 3: your husband? At this point, Opie says, I haven't found

979
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,840
Speaker 3: anything definitive that he was sleeping with anyone else. But

980
00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 3: I did find out that he was hiding a substance

981
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 3: addiction and lying about a lot of other things, so

982
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 3: it's possible. OPI clarifies on the estate. When I say

983
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 3: there was no estate, I mean there was no estate.

984
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 3: We had separate bank accounts. His was empty, and there

985
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 3: was forty bucks in his wallet.

986
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:27,839
Speaker 2: It's still there.

987
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 3: Actually, he didn't work, he had no life insurance and

988
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 3: was generally uninterested in handling financial stuff. There was nothing

989
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 3: else that wasn't jointly owned or solely in my name,

990
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 3: and another comments er says, not the ahole, but keeping

991
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 3: a rental property would have been a better choice other

992
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 3: than selling it and letting it sit in a bank

993
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 3: account for a decade. Opie says that place was an albatross.

994
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 3: It needed thousands of dollars worth of work, and I

995
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 3: just didn't have the bandwidth to be a landlord at

996
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 3: the time. It's actually in a brokerage account, so it's

997
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,919
Speaker 3: not losing ground to inflation. Does Ope or her child

998
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 3: qualify for survivor benefits? Opie says, my child does receive benefits,

999
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 3: but not nearly that much. It's enough to cover their

1000
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,839
Speaker 3: therapy bills. My husband hadn't worked consistently in at least

1001
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 3: ten years, but thankfully did have enough credits to qualify.

1002
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 3: What is that credits? Survivorship credits survivors I've never heard

1003
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 3: of that.

1004
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 5: I don't know. That might not be the US thing.

1005
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 3: I don't know it's said that. I think she said

1006
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 3: they are in the US, though I have no idea

1007
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 3: but yeah, I don't know. Here's the update 'ro ount

1008
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 3: of the comments. We're into the update. So several months

1009
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,880
Speaker 3: ago I posted here and thought i'd make it update

1010
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 3: now that almost everything is settled, So it is in

1011
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,720
Speaker 3: fact his child, or at least there's enough shared DNA

1012
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 3: to determine that my in laws are their grandparents, and

1013
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,280
Speaker 3: there's no way that it's their other sons. The biggest

1014
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 3: update is that the mother doesn't currently have custody. I'm

1015
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 3: still a bit unsure of the timeline, but there might

1016
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 3: have already been a CPS case open when she first

1017
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 3: contacted me. She's apparently a fan of the same illicit

1018
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 3: substances that my husband was, so this kid might not

1019
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 3: even like she might not even have been able to

1020
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 3: keep this The kid might not even be in her

1021
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 3: I mean, I hope the kid's not in her customer.

1022
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 5: Yeah. And also it seems like if she's like, you know,

1023
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 5: after it seems like a while going after Ope's late

1024
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 5: husband and being like, oh, I need the money, blah

1025
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 5: blah blah, it might also be a case of she

1026
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 5: doesn't have the money to support this kid either, which

1027
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 5: is why a CPS also might be able.

1028
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 3: When you're also when you're inactivit, your money's probably going

1029
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 3: to get spent on other things.

1030
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 5: That's also true.

1031
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 3: That's sad anyway, So that would explain how she met

1032
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 3: my husband. Unfortunately, that means that the child is now

1033
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 3: in foster care. My in laws were not deemed in

1034
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 3: appropriate placement and I won't do it. I have been

1035
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 3: working with the caseworker with regards to getting Social Security

1036
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 3: benefits for the child.

1037
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 4: In my state.

1038
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 3: Survivor benefits offset any child support obligations, so even if

1039
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 3: there was in a state, social Security benefits most likely

1040
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,319
Speaker 3: exceeded the amount he would owe based on his work

1041
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 3: history prior to this hasn't affected my own child's benefits.

1042
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 3: By the way, I just want to let you know

1043
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 3: that you can listen to full episodes with stories like this.

1044
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 3: All you need to do is go to spotif or

1045
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts from and

1046
00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 3: search Okay, story time and do it, and there you

1047
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 3: can peruse do it through our entire catalog. There is

1048
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 3: a little bit of story left, but before we finish up,

1049
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:16,919
Speaker 3: like this is a very specific situation, like I don't

1050
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 3: like would you take in the child?

1051
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 5: Probably not. I mean like, this is I guess you

1052
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,800
Speaker 5: have to think about it a lot, but this is

1053
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 5: not you know, you have no relationship this child. The

1054
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:32,520
Speaker 5: child doesn't know you. You're already trying to take care

1055
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 5: of your own child and stuff, and it seems like

1056
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 5: you're not. You haven't received any money from your late partner.

1057
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 5: So I think it would probably make everyone maybe worse off.

1058
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it might. It doesn't sound like the situation is like, oh,

1059
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 2: I'll take the child.

1060
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. It's like you already low key hate your husband, yeah,

1061
00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 3: and now this is just like a reminder that he

1062
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 3: had an affair.

1063
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1064
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 3: So it's like you shouldn't take in the kid, especially

1065
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 3: if you're gonna like actively hate it, yeah, which you

1066
00:46:00,239 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 3: might give it me or.

1067
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,800
Speaker 5: Even like just the resentment, you know what that's for

1068
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 5: the kid.

1069
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 3: Orcatively resent Like I think just figuring out how to

1070
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 3: get the kid the benefits is like enough.

1071
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 5: Yes, I think that that is a pretty big new

1072
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 5: for you to do.

1073
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so let's finish this story.

1074
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 3: I still haven't exactly determined what I will do with

1075
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 3: this information going forward. I have set aside some money

1076
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 3: in an online savings account, but it's still in my

1077
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,360
Speaker 3: name until the mother's rights are completely terminated or the

1078
00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 3: child ages out of the system. I don't want anything

1079
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,439
Speaker 3: that would possibly give her access to it. I will

1080
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 3: also eventually have to tell my child that there is

1081
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 3: a sibling out there. I've been through the ringer over

1082
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 3: the last couple of months, and I'm just so effing

1083
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:43,359
Speaker 3: mad that I'm still cleaning up my husband's mess.

1084
00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,760
Speaker 2: And that is a good point. I didn't even consider

1085
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 2: that the child will have to know that they have.

1086
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 5: It's getting tricky.

1087
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 3: We got some relevant comments here. Does Op's husband have

1088
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,160
Speaker 3: any siblings that could take the child in? Op says

1089
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 3: there are two siblings, both of them are out of state.

1090
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,879
Speaker 3: His brother is in the military and isn't a good option.

1091
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 3: His sister is let's just say, militantly child free. There

1092
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,760
Speaker 3: are a couple of cousins that might be suitable eventually.

1093
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 3: I'm not really sure what's going on with that process,

1094
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 3: because even though I'm friendly with the caseworker, I'm also

1095
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 3: not related to this child, nor am I a licensed

1096
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 3: foster provider, So there are limits to what she can

1097
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 3: tell me due to privacy. And why can't OP take

1098
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 3: the child in? So? Op says, I won't go as

1099
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 3: far as calling them a burden, but I'm in no

1100
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 3: position to take on another child and have taken measures

1101
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 3: to prevent that. I already feel like I fail my

1102
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 3: own child on a weekly basis, which.

1103
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 5: Hey, oh he's a single mom. That's tricky.

1104
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 3: It's just like, I feel like anytime you have a kid,

1105
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 3: you're always gonna be like, am I you're a huge

1106
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 3: You're being honest, You're gonna be like, yo, did I

1107
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 3: just mess that kid up?

1108
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 2: Yeah? It's scary all the time.

1109
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 3: You're gonna be thinking that yeah, or I would hope so,

1110
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:51,320
Speaker 3: because then that that's what allows you to be a

1111
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 3: better parent. Yeah you go ooh, Okay, I feel like

1112
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 3: that might have low keep been traumatic.

1113
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 2: Let's not do that again. We'll pivot around that next.

1114
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 5: Time to keep taking alive. Yeah, first and foremost.

1115
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 3: True commenter says, Wow, I can't imagine how hard this

1116
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,719
Speaker 3: has been for you, and I'm so sorry you're dealing

1117
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 3: with this. You're not just managing the fallout of your

1118
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:13,320
Speaker 3: late husband's actions, you're also being incredibly thoughtful about protecting

1119
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 3: your child and this other child's future, all while trying

1120
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 3: to navigate your own emotions. I think it's really commendable

1121
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:21,280
Speaker 3: that you're ensuring the child gets the social Security benefits

1122
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 3: they're entitled to, even though you're under no obligation to

1123
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 3: do so. Setting aside money for their future is above

1124
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 3: and beyond, especially given the situation with the mother keeping

1125
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 3: it in your name until things stabilize. Sounds like the

1126
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 3: smart and safe call, which I agree with. When the

1127
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 3: time comes to tell your child about their sibling, I

1128
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,719
Speaker 3: hope you have the support to help navigate that conversation.

1129
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 3: You've already shown so much strength and grace in a

1130
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 3: really unfair situation. Don't forget to give yourself space to

1131
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 3: process everything. You deserve peace after everything you've been through.

1132
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:49,880
Speaker 3: You're doing amazing, even if it doesn't feel like it.

1133
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 3: And that is the nice end of that story.

1134
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 2: And that was a nice comment.

1135
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, nice parents need to know that doing the best

1136
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 5: you can.

1137
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1138
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: But here's three was of ads from our sponsors that

1139
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 1: keep the show alive.

1140
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 5: My wife accuse me of emotionally stealing our son all

1141
00:49:07,360 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 5: because I started spending more time with them.

1142
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 3: You have absconded with the boy emotionally, you made him like.

1143
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 5: You stop it. I've been married to my wife for

1144
00:49:18,680 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 5: fifteen years now. We married in our senior year of college.

1145
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,239
Speaker 5: Upon graduation, she worked for three years to help pay

1146
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 5: for our finances while I was in law school. By

1147
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 5: the way, this comes from Throwaway three seven thirty eight

1148
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 5: seventy two eighty two on a Okay Storytime subbered it.

1149
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 5: So during my last year of law school, my wife

1150
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 5: got pregnant with our son, Zane. After his birth, in

1151
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 5: my graduation, I found work at a big firm out

1152
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 5: in NYC. I began making a good six figures and

1153
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 5: my wife asked if she could become a stay at

1154
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,360
Speaker 5: home mom to help raise our son. I agreed with

1155
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:49,839
Speaker 5: her and told her I would cover the house finances.

1156
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 5: We've never had any issues with this. True. I would

1157
00:49:53,239 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 5: work long hours, but she understood the house would always

1158
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,480
Speaker 5: be clean and there was always food ready when I

1159
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 5: got home. It was a great dynamic. The only issue

1160
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 5: was that I rarely saw my kid, Zaane was usually

1161
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,439
Speaker 5: asleep by the time I got home because I would

1162
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 5: get home late. Zay and his mom are close because

1163
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,080
Speaker 5: they spend a lot of time together. Fast forward to

1164
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 5: twenty twenty and the pandemic hits the VID. During the pandemic, firms,

1165
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 5: including the one I worked at, move to remote work.

1166
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 5: I was happy I could work from home and spend

1167
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 5: more time with my wife and kid. Zaye loved it.

1168
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 5: He would bring his legos and toys into my room

1169
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 5: and sit on the floor and play near me, and

1170
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 5: we could talk and have a good time. That's so cute.

1171
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 5: At the beginning, my wife was happy about it. She

1172
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 5: liked seeing us together and she would join in the

1173
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:39,720
Speaker 5: room too, me doing my work and them hanging around. However,

1174
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 5: if everything stayed great, I wouldn't be writing this. It's

1175
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:46,320
Speaker 5: been three years since twenty twenty, and my firm still

1176
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 5: allows remote work, so I still take advantage of it.

1177
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:51,840
Speaker 5: Dane still comes into play on a switch or iPad

1178
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 5: and even does his schoolwork in there while I work.

1179
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,000
Speaker 5: This is so cute it is my wife doesn't join

1180
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:00,720
Speaker 5: us anymore. She just sits in the other room watching TV.

1181
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 5: So a few nights ago, I asked her if everything

1182
00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 5: was okay, and she got loud and mad, which she

1183
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,320
Speaker 5: has never done before. She began accusing me of stealing

1184
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 5: Zane from her. How it used to be the two

1185
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 5: of them laughing and having fun time, but now all

1186
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:16,120
Speaker 5: he wants to do is stay near my office or

1187
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,080
Speaker 5: in my office. I was shocked. I told my wife

1188
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 5: that he's my kid too, and that with me here,

1189
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,240
Speaker 5: we can all spend time together, unlike how we couldn't before.

1190
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,919
Speaker 5: She said I was trying to emotionally steal her son

1191
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 5: from her. I reminded her that he was my son too,

1192
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 5: and I deserved to be around him as much as

1193
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:35,880
Speaker 5: she did. My wife began crying and packed an overnight

1194
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 5: bag and decided to go stay with her sister. I

1195
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,759
Speaker 5: was left dumbfounded at how south everything had gone in

1196
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 5: this conversation. It's been three days since she left, and

1197
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 5: her texts have basically been dry and basically asking me

1198
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:49,959
Speaker 5: to go back to working on site in my firm.

1199
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 6: How everyone's calling her a boy mom.

1200
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 5: That's really messed up. I don't want to have to

1201
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:58,240
Speaker 5: do this, as I'd much rather work from home, closer

1202
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 5: to my family. I've spoken with her sister and she

1203
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 5: said that she sees no issue in what I'm doing

1204
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,720
Speaker 5: and said she will try to reason with my wife.

1205
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 5: I told one of my friends and he asked if

1206
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 5: it was possible that Zane wasn't my kid and my

1207
00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:12,839
Speaker 5: wife was feeling guilt seeing us together. I told him

1208
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 5: that wasn't possible, not only because my wife has never

1209
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,880
Speaker 5: shown any signs of being unfaithful even while dating. But

1210
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 5: we did a paternity test for safety measures. That was

1211
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,399
Speaker 5: the lawyer part of me that wanted it. We also

1212
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 5: have security cameras in and around the house due to

1213
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,640
Speaker 5: two security incidents a few years ago. My wife never

1214
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,279
Speaker 5: leaves without texting me and nothing is off at home.

1215
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 5: We also share each other's locations on iPhone, so I

1216
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:36,439
Speaker 5: doubt there's an affair being covered up. He also still

1217
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 5: spends a lot of time with her and likes to

1218
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,560
Speaker 5: go with her when they go out. Zain is wondering

1219
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 5: where mom is, and I'm left really confused. Has anyone

1220
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,920
Speaker 5: ever dealt with this before? Any thoughts on what I

1221
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 5: should do? And there are some real in the comments,

1222
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:52,800
Speaker 5: but my comments are absolutely, do not go back to

1223
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,920
Speaker 5: work just because your wife is feeling jealous. I think

1224
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 5: there are Hopefully she'll come around so you guys can

1225
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 5: just havething a conversation because there was no issue. You

1226
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 5: guys were all hanging out together. That should be like,

1227
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 5: that should be the goal that you're all hanging out together.

1228
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 7: Yeah, adds some peanut butter to her jelly because she's

1229
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 7: just jealous that she doesn't have that. I guess it's

1230
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 7: just it feels like it's just like a small phase,

1231
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 7: like she got all the time and now the child

1232
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:18,439
Speaker 7: spending all the time with the dad.

1233
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:20,400
Speaker 6: It doesn't make any sense.

1234
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 2: It feels like she should be happy about it.

1235
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,399
Speaker 6: But yeah, exactly, I'd be like, oh my god, that's

1236
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 6: so cute. Let me take a photo.

1237
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 5: So go back together.

1238
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:30,439
Speaker 2: What's what was going on when the flip?

1239
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 3: I wonder if when someone talked to her or something,

1240
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 3: somebody say something. She gets pressure from her book club.

1241
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 5: But there are some ellone comments. CJ. Nebraska in nineteen

1242
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 5: eighty two says, what does your wife do all day

1243
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 5: when Zaye is in school? Does she have friends or hobbies?

1244
00:53:43,760 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 5: It really sounds like she has some personal issues and

1245
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 5: she's using your son as a scapegoat to cover them up.

1246
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 5: Opie says she does have friends that she visits or

1247
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 5: come over. As far as hobbies go, she likes cooking

1248
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,279
Speaker 5: and pastry baking. She used to love having Zaane sit

1249
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 5: in his chair by the kitchen counter and she would

1250
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,319
Speaker 5: let him taste her new recipes and pastries. While Zane

1251
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 5: is at school and I was working in office, she

1252
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 5: would do house stuff like cooking, cleaning, then watching TV

1253
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 5: or looking up culinary ideas. If she's not going out

1254
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,120
Speaker 5: with her friends, she still cooks and bakes even with

1255
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 5: us at home, and in those moments she's happy because

1256
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 5: Zaane likes cooking with his mom, so he's with her

1257
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:22,719
Speaker 5: when she does. Yet, Marionetka says, you were married with

1258
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:26,879
Speaker 5: no reason to suspect infidelity and still require a paternity test.

1259
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 5: Assuming this is real, you need couples counseling because both

1260
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,560
Speaker 5: of you are approaching the relationship in an unreasonable way.

1261
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:34,919
Speaker 2: Guys, it was the guys.

1262
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:35,760
Speaker 4: It was the lawyer.

1263
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:39,120
Speaker 2: Happened with the lawyers, true, guys. One of them is

1264
00:54:39,239 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 2: a fun dad and the other is lawyer.

1265
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 5: And you can't. You can't have one without the other.

1266
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 2: Oh, says doctor lawyer and mister dad.

1267
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 5: Oh, it's a new musical. Opie says, like I said,

1268
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,759
Speaker 5: it was the lawyer in me, trying to cover all

1269
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 5: possible baby.

1270
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: Moon was full that night, and you know what happens,

1271
00:54:58,440 --> 00:54:59,920
Speaker 3: I'd become doctor lawyer.

1272
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:02,760
Speaker 5: Every month I become a lawyer.

1273
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 2: I can't stop, and I also get very hairy and

1274
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 2: I now at the moon.

1275
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 5: I merely suggested it, and she was totally fine with it.

1276
00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 5: She has no issue with it. I don't know why

1277
00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:14,320
Speaker 5: some people see the asking of a paternity test to

1278
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 5: be some large active betrayal. If it's yours, everything is fine.

1279
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,319
Speaker 5: If not, then you know this was twelve years ago.

1280
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 5: It hasn't been an issue ever in our relationship. Wait,

1281
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 5: is this kid twelve? I guess must be. I'm not

1282
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,239
Speaker 5: sure nothing in this relationship has ever been approached in

1283
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 5: an unreasonable way. Fun Homework thirty four fifty six says,

1284
00:55:32,840 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 5: A big part of your wife's identity is that she's

1285
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 5: a mother. You earn the money, she raises the kid.

1286
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:41,560
Speaker 5: You're stealing that from her by parenting more actively. Her

1287
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 5: reaction is totally inappropriate, of course, but the solution might

1288
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:46,440
Speaker 5: be for her to get a job or a hobby

1289
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:48,799
Speaker 5: or more friends. She could also learn to parent together

1290
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 5: instead of separately. I told him that was impossible, not

1291
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:54,080
Speaker 5: only because my wife has never shown any signs of

1292
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 5: being unfaithful even while dating, but we did a paternity

1293
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 5: test for safety measures. Quote. It sounds like there's a

1294
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,759
Speaker 5: lack of trust. In your marriage. The paternity test would

1295
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 5: be incredibly insulting to most women, and her never leaving

1296
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 5: the house without texting you is really odd and concerning

1297
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 5: to me, Opie says. I plan on making an update

1298
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 5: a little later since I spoke to my wife and

1299
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 5: got where she was coming from. Okay, if currently we're

1300
00:56:15,600 --> 00:56:18,760
Speaker 5: the me back then, I wouldn't ask for a paternity test,

1301
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:21,319
Speaker 5: but that. But back then, I was a student working

1302
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 5: in family law, and I kept hearing cases where people

1303
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 5: found out that they were raising children that weren't theirs,

1304
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 5: and people telling their spouses during arguments that they never

1305
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 5: actually love them. They got a bit paranoid. I'll admit.

1306
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 5: As for the texting without leaving, that's something we both

1307
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 5: started doing. I'll text her whenever I leave the office,

1308
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 5: even if it's for lunch. It's NYC, and we've both

1309
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:42,400
Speaker 5: been mugged before. I got mugged right outside of my

1310
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:45,320
Speaker 5: office before, so we do it so that if anything happens,

1311
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 5: we know where the other last was. And update.

1312
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 3: Good update, good update, I hope The update is we

1313
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,920
Speaker 3: both love our kid and we're cool about it now.

1314
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 5: Now we've gotta love our kid together.

1315
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 6: And we love each Otheroooooooo.

1316
00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:04,920
Speaker 5: I went to speak with my wife the night I

1317
00:57:05,040 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 5: made this post. I went over to her sister's house

1318
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,959
Speaker 5: to try and understand why she said what she said.

1319
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 5: Upon seeing me, she immediately began crying and asking me

1320
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:15,480
Speaker 5: to forgive her and that she was sorry that she

1321
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 5: said what she said. Apparently, she talked with her sister,

1322
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 5: and her sister tried explaining to her that our son

1323
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 5: was growing up and becoming more independent. The majority of

1324
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 5: the comments on the original post were right. She had

1325
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,040
Speaker 5: been a stay at home mom for the past twelve years,

1326
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 5: but now that our son was exploring his independence, she

1327
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 5: didn't know what to do and felt lost.

1328
00:57:34,320 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 2: Good communication here, good communication there.

1329
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 5: I asked her what caused the big blow up, and

1330
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 5: she said that her son had told her that he

1331
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 5: wanted to stop doing the weekly baking Saturdays with her

1332
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:46,040
Speaker 5: Oh No, because he wanted to instead start watching college

1333
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 5: football with me. His schools also asking them to explore

1334
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:52,080
Speaker 5: their extracurriculars for next year, and my wife wanted him

1335
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 5: to do a cooking extracurricular that the school provides. He

1336
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 5: told her he didn't want to do that and wanted

1337
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 5: to start playing football. This is going into that one

1338
00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:02,240
Speaker 5: home where it's like your kids are not your own

1339
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 5: and you can you can try and you know, push

1340
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 5: them towards the path that you want them to, but

1341
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 5: in the end, they're gonna go where they want to do.

1342
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 2: Yep, it's free will, is what a problem?

1343
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 5: Isn't it important to note that in my office that

1344
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 5: I said my son spends a lot of time in.

1345
00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,919
Speaker 5: There is a lot of my football memorabilia. I played

1346
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 5: in high school, as did my brother and my father.

1347
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 5: Now I had few trophies and a state championship ring

1348
00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:30,880
Speaker 5: that Zayan liked to hold and look at. No, I

1349
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:33,640
Speaker 5: didn't play in college. I was a backup on the team. Basically,

1350
00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 5: what did it for her was that Zayne started to

1351
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:39,480
Speaker 5: ignore all the old hobbies they did together and wanted

1352
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 5: to align himself with my interests. She felt the connection

1353
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 5: between them weakening. He's just grown up.

1354
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 2: I don't know, you can figure something else out.

1355
00:58:47,120 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes you just have to like change and be like, Okay,

1356
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,120
Speaker 5: well maybe he doesn't like this, but maybe there's something

1357
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 5: else that we can kind of talk to.

1358
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 6: Her hobbies all together, but you can also have a

1359
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 6: like a loone time.

1360
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, pivot build legospare we go.

1361
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 5: She was in tears the entire time she was speaking.

1362
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 5: I listened to her and understood where she was coming from.

1363
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:07,440
Speaker 5: It can't be easy to have your identity be attached

1364
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 5: to one thing and then have that one thing changed.

1365
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,280
Speaker 5: I asked her why she was gone for three days.

1366
00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:14,480
Speaker 5: She said that she didn't mean to be gone for

1367
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 5: this long, but that when her sister mentioned she put

1368
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 5: all her identity into our son, she thought it would

1369
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 5: be a good idea to be away for a few

1370
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 5: days give herself some separation. I told her that he

1371
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 5: will always be her son, and that she will always

1372
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 5: hold a special place in her heart. That no matter

1373
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 5: how old he gets or how his interests change, he

1374
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:35,200
Speaker 5: will always need his mom. He's just changing, and part

1375
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 5: of our job as parents is to embrace that change

1376
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 5: and support him.

1377
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,600
Speaker 2: Yes, beautifully put this is lovely.

1378
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 5: She came home with me that night. She hugs Aye

1379
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 5: and cried, telling him that she was sorry for leaving.

1380
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,960
Speaker 5: I took your advice and suggested family counseling, marriage counseling,

1381
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:51,360
Speaker 5: or individual therapy. She said she would like to put

1382
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 5: off the first two for now, but did ask for

1383
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 5: help finding a therapist for herself. So that should help.

1384
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,480
Speaker 5: I suggested her getting a job or something that she

1385
00:59:58,600 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 5: can do so that her entire life identity isn't being

1386
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,440
Speaker 5: a mom. She said she doesn't like her college degree,

1387
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 5: so I told her to go back to school if

1388
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:07,400
Speaker 5: she wants, and I'd foot the bill. She's planning on

1389
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 5: doing culinary school and wants to open a YouTube cooking channel,

1390
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 5: and I told her I'm behind her one hundred percent.

1391
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 5: There's more, but this is wonderful.

1392
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 2: That is wonderful.

1393
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:18,720
Speaker 5: This is absolutely wonderful. They had kind of a fight,

1394
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 5: and then they came back and said, what's the problem.

1395
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 5: This is how we're going to fix it. And I

1396
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,919
Speaker 5: want you to go pursue the things that you love

1397
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 5: because it is never too late to go back to school,

1398
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 5: and it's never too late to find a new interest.

1399
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 5: Because our life is all about learning, It's true, and

1400
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:35,440
Speaker 5: just because you're out of school does not mean that

1401
01:00:35,480 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 5: you have to stop learning.

1402
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 4: And I will say this as well.

1403
01:00:37,880 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be like the we actually don't

1404
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 2: go to.

1405
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 3: School, but like for that specifically, it's like you're going

1406
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 3: to culinary school because you want to start a YouTube channel.

1407
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:47,760
Speaker 3: It's like, don't go to culinary school. Every single thing

1408
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,240
Speaker 3: that you need to learn is already on YouTube. Yeah,

1409
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:52,720
Speaker 3: already on the internet. Everything that you need is already

1410
01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 3: out there, and you can document the whole process of

1411
01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 3: you going from I don't know, I'm not an expert,

1412
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 3: I'm not a professional, and then you can have that

1413
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,160
Speaker 3: entire the journey and the growth that you go through

1414
01:01:03,280 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 3: cannot be documented, and now it's part of your channel

1415
01:01:05,560 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 3: and it's part of the entertainment package. It's like, don't

1416
01:01:08,120 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 3: let like the preconceived notion of what you quote unquote

1417
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 3: need to have before you can officially be something stop

1418
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 3: you from being that thing.

1419
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 5: Absolutely. I do think though different pe like different things

1420
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 5: work for different people. Yeah, I would say for me,

1421
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:23,440
Speaker 5: like school works really well for my brain, but for

1422
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 5: other people, like for Samy, he's able to figure out.

1423
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:29,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, to emphasize again, I was not I'm not the

1424
01:01:29,520 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 3: guy being like you don't need But it's like, if

1425
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:34,400
Speaker 3: you do, all of the stuff you need to learn,

1426
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:37,560
Speaker 3: those kind of skills are are all floating around out

1427
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 3: there outside of school. But like exactly what Sophia said,

1428
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 3: the structure of an environment like that can really be

1429
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:46,480
Speaker 3: necessary for people. But you know, if you don't have

1430
01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 3: the money or you can't afford it, and you're not

1431
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 3: in a situation like op. Don't let that stop you

1432
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 3: because the Internet is wonderful, very true, full of information

1433
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:54,800
Speaker 3: just like this.

1434
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:58,160
Speaker 5: She also wanted to start working at her friend's bakery,

1435
01:01:58,320 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 5: so she'll be starting there next month. This is so exciting.

1436
01:02:01,200 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 5: I'm also asking Zane if he would want to do

1437
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 5: designated mom time and designated dad time. He can do

1438
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 5: activities with his mom and I can do activities with him.

1439
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:12,720
Speaker 5: He asked me to help him practice football, so I'm

1440
01:02:12,800 --> 01:02:14,880
Speaker 5: thrilled to do that with him. We also decided that

1441
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:17,040
Speaker 5: mom and dad need to have their alone time, so

1442
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 5: he's going to get more free time to himself. These

1443
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 5: past two nights have been great and I'm happy seeing

1444
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 5: my wife happy and back home with us. Thank you,

1445
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 5: guys for all your support and comments. And by the way,

1446
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 5: I love when you guys support us by listening to

1447
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,720
Speaker 5: full episodes of stories like this. Just go on Spotify,

1448
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 5: Apple Podcasts for your favorite podcast, down and search up. Okay,

1449
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:38,920
Speaker 5: story time.

1450
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:39,360
Speaker 4: That's right.

1451
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:42,000
Speaker 2: That's all it takes. That's all it takes, and then

1452
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,160
Speaker 2: you have something to do for basically the rest of

1453
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:44,560
Speaker 2: your life.

1454
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 5: The whole time. Yeah, but there is a little bit

1455
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 5: left to the story. Do you have any final thoughts?

1456
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, nothing that's not already been touched on.

1457
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:57,240
Speaker 3: Or it's like this is just progressed wonderfully, this is

1458
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 3: progressed wonder we love to see.

1459
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 5: Yes, but let's finish off the story. A few answers

1460
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 5: to things in the comments from last time. Why does

1461
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 5: my wife have to text me when she's going somewhere?

1462
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:08,560
Speaker 5: She doesn't. We both text each other out of our

1463
01:03:08,640 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 5: free will. It is New York City and we have

1464
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:13,520
Speaker 5: both been mugged before. This is a protective measure, so

1465
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:16,000
Speaker 5: we know where the other is in case anything happens.

1466
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 5: Why did I ask for paternity test if I knew

1467
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:20,919
Speaker 5: she didn't cheat when she gave birth. I was working

1468
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:23,440
Speaker 5: at a family law clinic my last year of law school.

1469
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:25,560
Speaker 5: I had to be around couples who were finding out

1470
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:27,520
Speaker 5: that their children weren't actually theirs. It made me a

1471
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:30,480
Speaker 5: bit paranoid that my wife understood. Was it a stupid

1472
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 5: in hindsight? Yes, And if currently was the meme back then,

1473
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:36,480
Speaker 5: he definitely wouldn't have asked for one. And that is

1474
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,120
Speaker 5: the end of that story.

1475
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 3: My husband got a vasectomy behind my back.

1476
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:45,880
Speaker 2: Now my dreams are ruined.

1477
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:47,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, that should have been a conversation.

1478
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:49,520
Speaker 6: Snip snaps, snipsnap throw away.

1479
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:52,200
Speaker 3: Because my husband knows my main account, I don't know

1480
01:03:52,280 --> 01:03:55,480
Speaker 3: what to do. My thirty one female husband, thirty two

1481
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 3: male who's named Chris and that's a fake name, and

1482
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 3: I have been married for four years, together for six

1483
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:03,280
Speaker 3: And by the way, this comes from a deleted user

1484
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:05,040
Speaker 3: and you can submit your.

1485
01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,920
Speaker 2: Stories on the r slash Okay storytimes, so I reread it.

1486
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:10,480
Speaker 3: So when we first got together, we had several long

1487
01:04:10,560 --> 01:04:12,960
Speaker 3: talks about how we both wanted a big family. I

1488
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 3: wanted to be very upfront that child free is not

1489
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 3: an option for me. I am an only child, and

1490
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 3: I know how lonely it is.

1491
01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 2: Was was my childhood.

1492
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:22,919
Speaker 5: Now, Yeah, are you sad?

1493
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:23,600
Speaker 6: Look at him?

1494
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 5: Look at him?

1495
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:25,400
Speaker 2: No, But I'm funny.

1496
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 5: There's something wrong with him.

1497
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 7: I'm funny and Trump he hates dogs, he hates cities,

1498
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 7: he hates countries, he hates everything.

1499
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:34,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't hate any of those things.

1500
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:37,200
Speaker 3: So I wanted to be very upfront that child free

1501
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 3: is not an option, and I said I wanted to

1502
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:39,959
Speaker 3: have at least four kids.

1503
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 2: I'm an only child, and I know how lonely it is.

1504
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,360
Speaker 3: I also said I wanted to have them about a

1505
01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 3: year or year and a half apart, so they could

1506
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 3: grow up close to the same age. He always wholeheartedly

1507
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 3: agreed to this and often made jokes like whether we

1508
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:54,919
Speaker 3: have four or six, have as many as we want.

1509
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:56,920
Speaker 3: It's your call, since you pretty much had to do

1510
01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 3: all the work. And since our wedding day, before we

1511
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 3: left the reception for our honeymoon, he whispered.

1512
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 2: Can we get out of here and get started own

1513
01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:11,480
Speaker 2: baby number one? WHOA Why?

1514
01:05:11,680 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 3: I loved how excited he seemed to be clear. I

1515
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 3: didn't go off my birth control until about two months

1516
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:20,080
Speaker 3: after we were married, and I got pregnant soon after

1517
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:22,960
Speaker 3: with our first daughter, Joy. Joy was a happy pregnancy,

1518
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:25,760
Speaker 3: long birth, but she was a beautiful, healthy baby. She

1519
01:05:25,840 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 3: went through colic, which was trying, but other than that,

1520
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 3: she was a happy first edition. According to me, I

1521
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:34,320
Speaker 3: noticed Chris became distant during my first pregnancy, but when

1522
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 3: I asked him about it, he just said he had

1523
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 3: a lot on his mind being a new father. He

1524
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 3: said he was still excited, but something changed for reference.

1525
01:05:41,280 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 3: We both work full time. I make about twenty thousand

1526
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,560
Speaker 3: more per year than he does, and the five bedroom

1527
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 3: house that we live in was a gift from my mom,

1528
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:52,880
Speaker 3: who was very excited to be a grandma to many.

1529
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:56,439
Speaker 3: My job is fully remote but still offers maternity leave,

1530
01:05:56,520 --> 01:05:59,000
Speaker 3: and I have a nest egg savings for emergencies and

1531
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 3: feel it's important to mention this because I know finances

1532
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:03,960
Speaker 3: can be a major stress factor when it comes to

1533
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 3: having kids, but not for me and Chris. Then Joy

1534
01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:10,400
Speaker 3: came out perfectly. Chris had three months of paternity leave

1535
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:12,480
Speaker 3: and was home with us for the majority of that time.

1536
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:15,600
Speaker 3: My mom visited a lot and paid to have cleaners come.

1537
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,760
Speaker 3: There were still a lot of long nights and it

1538
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:21,200
Speaker 3: was tough for me to feed, but overall nothing unexpected.

1539
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,480
Speaker 3: Chris still seemed distant but always.

1540
01:06:24,240 --> 01:06:25,320
Speaker 2: Helpful with Joy.

1541
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:28,480
Speaker 3: We have an agreed open phone policy, so I did

1542
01:06:28,640 --> 01:06:31,720
Speaker 3: check his phone quite often, but didn't find any sign

1543
01:06:31,760 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 3: of cheating. He goes through my phone whenever he wants

1544
01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 3: as well. I asked if he found me unattractive while pregnant,

1545
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:39,600
Speaker 3: and he assured me no, he loves me and is

1546
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 3: excited for our family. Fast forward a year after woooo,

1547
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:46,480
Speaker 3: we're sleeping through the night and I am back to work.

1548
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:48,760
Speaker 3: I saw my doctor and was cleared to try for

1549
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:53,040
Speaker 3: Bundle of Joy number two, and Chris seemed very enthusiastic

1550
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 3: at that point. He even downloaded an app to track

1551
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:58,240
Speaker 3: my fertility cycle so we could make the most of

1552
01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:01,440
Speaker 3: our ovulation times. We had a lot of fun and

1553
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:04,360
Speaker 3: he was always very passionate. But six months of trying

1554
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:06,960
Speaker 3: with no pregnancy, I started to worry. I'd voiced my

1555
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:09,439
Speaker 3: concerns and Chris would brush them off, so I tried

1556
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:11,880
Speaker 3: to be patient. But then almost two years passed and

1557
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:14,520
Speaker 3: Joy is growing up by herself. I broke down to

1558
01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:16,720
Speaker 3: my mother crying, and she agreed to come with me

1559
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:18,880
Speaker 3: to the doctor to get checked out. I was very

1560
01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:21,920
Speaker 3: emotional and scared, but the doctor assured me everything is

1561
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,160
Speaker 3: fine and that I should be able to conceive without

1562
01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 3: any issues. I went to Chris with this knowledge, and

1563
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:29,160
Speaker 3: he was very upset. I went to a fertility specialist.

1564
01:07:29,280 --> 01:07:31,280
Speaker 3: I explained that I thought something might have gone wrong

1565
01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:34,280
Speaker 3: during my last pregnancy, concerned that I was maybe blocked

1566
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 3: or infertile somehow. He said, why not wait and quote

1567
01:07:37,520 --> 01:07:40,480
Speaker 3: just let nature take its course, and I said, our

1568
01:07:40,560 --> 01:07:43,120
Speaker 3: little girl is almost three and growing up by herself.

1569
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 3: I reminded him of our plans and he just nodded

1570
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:47,480
Speaker 3: and said, we can do his try do this guy,

1571
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:51,520
Speaker 3: this is this is this is number fifteen. Base is

1572
01:07:51,640 --> 01:07:53,440
Speaker 3: number fifteen. This is let me get him with a

1573
01:07:53,840 --> 01:07:56,439
Speaker 3: No one should ever force you into having a child,

1574
01:07:56,640 --> 01:07:59,960
Speaker 3: but to lie to your partner about wanting a child

1575
01:08:00,400 --> 01:08:02,960
Speaker 3: and also getting her hopes up about the prospect of

1576
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:05,000
Speaker 3: having a child and just say, oh, yeah, it's gonna happen,

1577
01:08:05,040 --> 01:08:07,600
Speaker 3: It's gonna happen. Just wait while you know it never will.

1578
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:13,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's he's despicable, the ultimate behaved like you, freaking

1579
01:08:14,120 --> 01:08:16,840
Speaker 2: I hate you're living an open lie to your wife.

1580
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:18,000
Speaker 5: Partner, your wife.

1581
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,920
Speaker 2: Guys, we can we just have conversations? Can we just

1582
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:24,160
Speaker 2: have talks? I reminded him of our plans, and he

1583
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:26,040
Speaker 2: nodded and said, all we can do is try.

1584
01:08:26,160 --> 01:08:28,640
Speaker 3: I asked if he would see a fertility specialist, and

1585
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:31,439
Speaker 3: he got angry, saying there's nothing wrong with him, and

1586
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:33,920
Speaker 3: we don't have the money for facility treatments anyway. This

1587
01:08:34,040 --> 01:08:36,479
Speaker 3: confused me, since we do have the money and we

1588
01:08:36,600 --> 01:08:38,680
Speaker 3: have my savings and are doing pretty well. When he

1589
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:40,639
Speaker 3: went to sleep, I decided to go through his phone

1590
01:08:40,680 --> 01:08:43,400
Speaker 3: again and went back through his calendar and call logs.

1591
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,360
Speaker 3: I noticed, about eight months after Joy was born, there

1592
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:49,240
Speaker 3: was a blocked day indicating he'd taken off from work.

1593
01:08:49,320 --> 01:08:50,600
Speaker 3: But it was in the middle of the week, and

1594
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 3: I don't remember any sort of special occasions behind why

1595
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:55,760
Speaker 3: he'd take this random day off. I went through the

1596
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:58,719
Speaker 3: call logs and found an office number about a week before,

1597
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:01,240
Speaker 3: and when I googled the number, a local business where

1598
01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:03,280
Speaker 3: you could get a vasectomy appeared.

1599
01:09:03,920 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 5: I couldn't believe what I was looking at it, not

1600
01:09:06,040 --> 01:09:08,559
Speaker 5: even how him be the one to tell you just like, yeah, you.

1601
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 2: Had to smooth it.

1602
01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:14,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. I instantly felt cold all over and started to panic.

1603
01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:16,559
Speaker 3: I woke him up and confronted him. He just stared

1604
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:19,680
Speaker 3: at me while I went off and admitted babies were

1605
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:21,840
Speaker 3: harder than he thought, and he felt like my first

1606
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:27,320
Speaker 3: pregnancy took forever. Newsflash, dummy, it takes nine months, pretty standard.

1607
01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:30,439
Speaker 5: Him out, how many babies, Oh, No, I thought it

1608
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:33,720
Speaker 5: was less than that. I thought it was like they say,

1609
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:36,680
Speaker 5: nine months, but sometimes it gets delivered early, kind of

1610
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:40,280
Speaker 5: the old yes, like maybe express delivery. Oh, I don't know.

1611
01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:44,479
Speaker 2: Can I pay extra for express shipping on the baby? Imagine?

1612
01:09:44,479 --> 01:09:46,240
Speaker 2: He really was like I thought the stork was gonna

1613
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:46,920
Speaker 2: get here earlier.

1614
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:48,240
Speaker 5: Where is it?

1615
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:52,519
Speaker 3: I just couldn't believe it. I packed my things, Joy

1616
01:09:52,680 --> 01:09:55,320
Speaker 3: and her things and drove to my mom's house. She's

1617
01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:58,160
Speaker 3: in distress with my sudden appearance and my inability to

1618
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:01,280
Speaker 3: stop crying. I finally told her yesterday morning what happened,

1619
01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:02,759
Speaker 3: and she's just beside herself.

1620
01:10:02,800 --> 01:10:03,519
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do.

1621
01:10:03,720 --> 01:10:06,840
Speaker 3: But every time I think about how during Spicy Sleep

1622
01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:09,400
Speaker 3: Chris would talk to me about giving me a baby. Oh,

1623
01:10:09,479 --> 01:10:11,840
Speaker 3: and he had to assected me the entire time. Oh

1624
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 3: my god, I feel so disgusted and stupid. I can't

1625
01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:16,120
Speaker 3: believe my little girl is going to grow up alone.

1626
01:10:16,240 --> 01:10:18,000
Speaker 3: Chris has been blowing up my phone, but I just

1627
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:20,559
Speaker 3: keep letting it ring and haven't read any of his texts.

1628
01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:24,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, like to be such a liar. It's unbelievable

1629
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:25,720
Speaker 2: to do that.

1630
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:26,040
Speaker 3: Lie.

1631
01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:28,479
Speaker 4: It's just just there's no going back.

1632
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 5: No, it's like your relationship is over it whenever that

1633
01:10:31,200 --> 01:10:32,479
Speaker 5: finds out, whenever she finds off.

1634
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:34,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, to lie like no trust.

1635
01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:37,240
Speaker 3: Fun that you can earn back after that, Oh, you're

1636
01:10:37,360 --> 01:10:41,240
Speaker 3: just ugh, you're disgusting, and there's an edit to those things.

1637
01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 2: I coerced my poor husband and agreeing to a big family.

1638
01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:46,040
Speaker 2: That's not what happened.

1639
01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:49,200
Speaker 5: No, did we read the same story. He seemed excited.

1640
01:10:49,840 --> 01:10:52,560
Speaker 3: I was always open and honest about my dreams and

1641
01:10:52,600 --> 01:10:54,720
Speaker 3: told him that it's okay if he wanted different things.

1642
01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:59,200
Speaker 3: He not only repetitively agreed and accepted, also helped me

1643
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 3: plan the nest egg and put together the nursery, and

1644
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:07,439
Speaker 3: enthusiastically participated in conversations regarding having multiple children around friends

1645
01:11:07,479 --> 01:11:09,960
Speaker 3: and family, and always said we'd have at least four.

1646
01:11:10,120 --> 01:11:12,400
Speaker 2: That was our number. Him getting of vaseectomy behind my

1647
01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:14,559
Speaker 2: back was a complete shock.

1648
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,919
Speaker 4: Also, we've both.

1649
01:11:15,840 --> 01:11:18,000
Speaker 2: Always agreed to the open phone policy.

1650
01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:20,519
Speaker 3: I never betrayed his trust by going through his phone

1651
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,640
Speaker 3: since I always had his consent to do so and

1652
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,519
Speaker 3: he has mine. We even have the same phone pass code.

1653
01:11:25,560 --> 01:11:27,400
Speaker 3: I never wanted to be in a relationship where we

1654
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:29,960
Speaker 3: kept secrets from each other. I know other couples feel different,

1655
01:11:30,040 --> 01:11:32,479
Speaker 3: but this is another thing. He always one hundred percent

1656
01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:35,960
Speaker 3: claimed he agreed with me on I vaguely remember one

1657
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:39,120
Speaker 3: week where he actually turned me down for the spicy sleep,

1658
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:41,280
Speaker 3: claiming that he had a head cold and he didn't

1659
01:11:41,360 --> 01:11:43,559
Speaker 3: join me in the shower like usual during that time.

1660
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:45,920
Speaker 3: But I didn't think anything about it. And no, men

1661
01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:48,400
Speaker 3: never need a wife's signature to get a vasectomy.

1662
01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:50,800
Speaker 5: We have an update, man, I really hope that you

1663
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:54,120
Speaker 5: break divorce this man, because this is I cannot imagine

1664
01:11:54,240 --> 01:11:56,920
Speaker 5: trying to how you would come back from this.

1665
01:11:57,240 --> 01:11:59,000
Speaker 6: What's crazy to me is like it seems like these

1666
01:11:59,040 --> 01:12:00,320
Speaker 6: two had perfectly.

1667
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:03,280
Speaker 5: Open They were so aligned seemingly it.

1668
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:05,519
Speaker 7: Seemed like the perfect thing, like a perfect relationship. You have,

1669
01:12:05,760 --> 01:12:08,280
Speaker 7: you know, clear communication, you can use each other's phones,

1670
01:12:08,320 --> 01:12:10,080
Speaker 7: you guys know each other's pass codes.

1671
01:12:10,280 --> 01:12:12,560
Speaker 6: And this guy just seems like, nah, this this is

1672
01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:13,240
Speaker 6: a tiny thing.

1673
01:12:13,479 --> 01:12:14,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's hit the update.

1674
01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:16,759
Speaker 3: Some of you made some comments about my mom gifting

1675
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:20,360
Speaker 3: my husband and I a house paying for occasional cleaning services,

1676
01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:24,439
Speaker 3: implying that Chris feels somehow emasculated by this, also implying

1677
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:27,000
Speaker 3: I'm too financially dependent on my mom. I make very

1678
01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 3: good money, I have a sizeable savings and don't need

1679
01:12:29,439 --> 01:12:31,760
Speaker 3: any help. My mom was excited to buy this house

1680
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:34,040
Speaker 3: for us as a wedding present. My dad passed away

1681
01:12:34,080 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 3: when I was young. He was wealthy and left my

1682
01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:38,720
Speaker 3: mom everything, so she shares his love since I'm her

1683
01:12:38,800 --> 01:12:41,679
Speaker 3: only kid. I make more money than Chris and always have. Yes,

1684
01:12:41,800 --> 01:12:43,760
Speaker 3: his name is on the house, so yeah, I'm gonna

1685
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:45,920
Speaker 3: get screwed over in the divorce. Some of you complain

1686
01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:47,960
Speaker 3: that I broke his trust by going through his phone,

1687
01:12:48,040 --> 01:12:50,760
Speaker 3: but we already talked about this. They have an open

1688
01:12:50,840 --> 01:12:54,600
Speaker 3: phone policy. Some comments called this arrangement between us unhinged,

1689
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:57,360
Speaker 3: which to me is bizarre. Chris, I thought, was my soulmate,

1690
01:12:57,439 --> 01:13:00,280
Speaker 3: my husband and best friend. We don't have secrets or so,

1691
01:13:00,479 --> 01:13:02,920
Speaker 3: I thought, isn't that the whole point of marriage to

1692
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:05,320
Speaker 3: finally have one person in the whole world that you

1693
01:13:05,439 --> 01:13:08,280
Speaker 3: can tell everything to, to always be on the same team.

1694
01:13:08,479 --> 01:13:09,559
Speaker 2: Obviously I was.

1695
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,840
Speaker 3: Wrong, and as many of you pointed out, that kind

1696
01:13:11,880 --> 01:13:15,360
Speaker 3: of love, trust and openness doesn't really exist and none

1697
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:15,880
Speaker 3: of that matters.

1698
01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:16,040
Speaker 7: Now.

1699
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:16,920
Speaker 2: That was kind of sad.

1700
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:18,320
Speaker 4: I feel like that can exist.

1701
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:21,120
Speaker 2: It can, yeah, with him, just not with the guy.

1702
01:13:21,320 --> 01:13:23,439
Speaker 2: Just not with this one guy Flyer, just not with

1703
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:23,800
Speaker 2: this guy.

1704
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,559
Speaker 3: Chris and Joy seemed fine to me, but in hindsight,

1705
01:13:26,640 --> 01:13:29,639
Speaker 3: there's always been hesitation on his part. I always thought

1706
01:13:29,680 --> 01:13:32,160
Speaker 3: it was just typical since the short while my dad

1707
01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:34,599
Speaker 3: was alive in my life, I don't really remember him

1708
01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 3: being affectionate or warm. He was nice and played with

1709
01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:39,400
Speaker 3: me sometimes, but I don't remember being held by him

1710
01:13:39,520 --> 01:13:42,200
Speaker 3: very much. I asked Chris many times if everything was

1711
01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:44,599
Speaker 3: okay when I noticed he was distant. He always said

1712
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:47,600
Speaker 3: things were great and gave an excuse, just tired or

1713
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:48,439
Speaker 3: worked his draining.

1714
01:13:48,600 --> 01:13:49,360
Speaker 2: It was no big deal.

1715
01:13:49,520 --> 01:13:51,519
Speaker 3: We're in the US, and here a man can go

1716
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:54,160
Speaker 3: get a vazectomy at any time. I don't know what

1717
01:13:54,360 --> 01:13:56,479
Speaker 3: Chris told his doctor. For all I know he took

1718
01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:58,519
Speaker 3: his wedding ring off and gave a sob story, or

1719
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:01,000
Speaker 3: probably just walked in and asked for the procedure.

1720
01:14:01,040 --> 01:14:01,599
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter.

1721
01:14:01,680 --> 01:14:03,960
Speaker 3: I'm really thankful for my mother. She's heartbroken for me,

1722
01:14:04,160 --> 01:14:06,679
Speaker 3: and like many of you, she already knows my marriage

1723
01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:08,720
Speaker 3: is over. There's been a lot of long nights of

1724
01:14:08,800 --> 01:14:11,880
Speaker 3: me crying that she's endured. I'm numb when I'm not crying,

1725
01:14:12,080 --> 01:14:15,840
Speaker 3: and keep getting this creepy feeling that nothing matters, no

1726
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:16,920
Speaker 3: things matter.

1727
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,640
Speaker 5: You're just going to right now. It's gonna take you

1728
01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:22,720
Speaker 5: some time. To recover from this, because this was a big,

1729
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,120
Speaker 5: a big deception from a person that you thought that

1730
01:14:26,160 --> 01:14:28,120
Speaker 5: you could trust. True, it's gonna it's gonna take some

1731
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:29,040
Speaker 5: time because you.

1732
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:30,519
Speaker 2: Were being actively deceived.

1733
01:14:30,680 --> 01:14:33,559
Speaker 4: That's that's hard. We are getting a divorce.

1734
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:36,240
Speaker 3: I finally called Chris and he sobbed, he was sorry,

1735
01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:38,639
Speaker 3: said he might be able to get it reversed. I've

1736
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:41,040
Speaker 3: read a lot about visectomy since my last post, and

1737
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:42,839
Speaker 3: sometimes it can't be reversed.

1738
01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:43,920
Speaker 4: It's always a risk.

1739
01:14:44,160 --> 01:14:46,080
Speaker 5: Well, it doesn't really matter whether or not he can

1740
01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:50,400
Speaker 5: get it reversed or not, because the betrayal already happened.

1741
01:14:50,080 --> 01:14:53,160
Speaker 3: Right, You've already done the It's it's not really the visectomy.

1742
01:14:53,240 --> 01:14:55,400
Speaker 3: It's more like that you did it and didn't say

1743
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:57,960
Speaker 3: anything about it, and then lied and was like, oh, yeah,

1744
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:00,600
Speaker 3: we're gonna have a baby tonight. It's like you're just

1745
01:15:00,640 --> 01:15:04,639
Speaker 3: a disgusting liar. Yeah, again, none of this matters. It's

1746
01:15:04,760 --> 01:15:07,400
Speaker 3: not actually about the physeectomy. It's that the person who

1747
01:15:07,479 --> 01:15:09,600
Speaker 3: I thought was the one person in the world I

1748
01:15:09,640 --> 01:15:12,160
Speaker 3: could trust that I was on the same page as

1749
01:15:12,479 --> 01:15:15,720
Speaker 3: literally writing the book together, made this decision without me

1750
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:18,839
Speaker 3: and kept it from me and then lied for years,

1751
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:21,200
Speaker 3: I really thought what we had was true love, and

1752
01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:24,000
Speaker 3: now I'm pretty certain that doesn't even exist. Chris has

1753
01:15:24,040 --> 01:15:26,640
Speaker 3: not offered any explanation. He cried and begged for my

1754
01:15:26,760 --> 01:15:29,000
Speaker 3: forgiveness and said again that he could get it reversed.

1755
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:32,320
Speaker 3: Even if he can, what happened is he irreversible. He

1756
01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,840
Speaker 3: never once answered my question. It's really painful to talk

1757
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:37,479
Speaker 3: to him. So after three times of asking in him,

1758
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:40,920
Speaker 3: each time dodging the answer and begging forgiveness, I finally

1759
01:15:41,080 --> 01:15:43,439
Speaker 3: just said please leave the house and told him he'd

1760
01:15:43,479 --> 01:15:45,760
Speaker 3: hear from my lawyer. He texted that he's packed up

1761
01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:47,800
Speaker 3: and left, and I haven't heard from him since he

1762
01:15:47,920 --> 01:15:50,680
Speaker 3: never once asked about joy Ugh. My lawyer says I

1763
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:53,200
Speaker 3: might wind up paying alimony, but I might be able

1764
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:54,960
Speaker 3: to get the house since it was a gift from

1765
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:57,919
Speaker 3: my mother and Chris has never made any financial contribution.

1766
01:15:58,040 --> 01:16:00,840
Speaker 3: He also says Chris committed a kind of fidelity since

1767
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:03,160
Speaker 3: he went behind my back to have this life altering

1768
01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:04,400
Speaker 3: procedure and admitted it.

1769
01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:06,519
Speaker 2: So that might help me. God, I would hope that

1770
01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:07,040
Speaker 2: would help you.

1771
01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:08,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's got it.

1772
01:16:08,760 --> 01:16:11,000
Speaker 2: How could it not help you? Like I'm gonna help you?

1773
01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:11,479
Speaker 7: Right?

1774
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:14,479
Speaker 3: Now by letting you know you can listen to full

1775
01:16:14,640 --> 01:16:18,000
Speaker 3: episodes with stories like these. All you have to do

1776
01:16:18,479 --> 01:16:21,240
Speaker 3: is go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever you

1777
01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:23,960
Speaker 3: get your podcasts and search, okay, storytime thing.

1778
01:16:23,960 --> 01:16:26,120
Speaker 4: And then boy, oh boy, you're off to the races.

1779
01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:28,280
Speaker 5: And then we're here with stories and you're there.

1780
01:16:28,479 --> 01:16:30,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we do have a little bit left here,

1781
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:32,280
Speaker 3: and I don't even think there's anything left to say

1782
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:33,280
Speaker 3: other than that force.

1783
01:16:33,680 --> 01:16:36,400
Speaker 5: It's just divorce. It's the only path forward here. And

1784
01:16:37,320 --> 01:16:40,400
Speaker 5: you knowing so that you guys can co parent, but that's.

1785
01:16:40,439 --> 01:16:41,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably that.

1786
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:43,920
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I would do joint counseling.

1787
01:16:43,960 --> 01:16:46,679
Speaker 3: I think maybe just he goes to his own counseling.

1788
01:16:46,720 --> 01:16:48,720
Speaker 3: You go to your own counseling because it's like, you know,

1789
01:16:49,040 --> 01:16:52,599
Speaker 3: I don't know, but co parenting like co parenting, yeah,

1790
01:16:52,760 --> 01:16:55,120
Speaker 3: because it's just gross. I can't imagine having to be

1791
01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:58,160
Speaker 3: around somebody who lied to me in that way for

1792
01:16:58,280 --> 01:17:03,000
Speaker 3: so long. It just feels so despicable, utterly despicable. Yeah,

1793
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:04,759
Speaker 3: but you know what, you're gonna be on the upswing

1794
01:17:04,880 --> 01:17:05,240
Speaker 3: hero pe.

1795
01:17:05,479 --> 01:17:07,400
Speaker 5: Yes, you're better without this person, for.

1796
01:17:07,560 --> 01:17:09,160
Speaker 2: Brighter days are ahead.

1797
01:17:09,360 --> 01:17:11,519
Speaker 3: So to everyone telling me it's gonna be okay and

1798
01:17:11,640 --> 01:17:14,200
Speaker 3: I can still have more children. All of that seems

1799
01:17:14,280 --> 01:17:17,560
Speaker 3: impossible right now. My heart is broken. I've never experienced

1800
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:20,519
Speaker 3: such sadness, and the only relief is when I'm playing

1801
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:24,360
Speaker 3: with my daughter. Her happiness is infectious. She's blissfully unaware,

1802
01:17:24,479 --> 01:17:26,599
Speaker 3: having the time of her life at Grandma's. But unlike

1803
01:17:26,640 --> 01:17:31,559
Speaker 3: her father, she actually asks, where's Dan dad ouch ah, Well,

1804
01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:33,920
Speaker 3: you'll find a better man than him, because clearly he's

1805
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:35,920
Speaker 3: not even really invested in his own child.

1806
01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:37,160
Speaker 4: So you're on the up.

1807
01:17:37,320 --> 01:17:39,839
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know it seems impossible right now with children,

1808
01:17:39,920 --> 01:17:42,719
Speaker 5: but you will find the love that you deserve true

1809
01:17:43,040 --> 01:17:44,920
Speaker 5: and it's It may not be from this man, but

1810
01:17:45,080 --> 01:17:45,680
Speaker 5: you will find it.

1811
01:17:45,840 --> 01:17:48,439
Speaker 3: I called work and took a medical leave of absence,

1812
01:17:48,520 --> 01:17:50,880
Speaker 3: and I found a therapist. My mom has offered to

1813
01:17:50,920 --> 01:17:52,960
Speaker 3: stay with me for a while, as well as Higher

1814
01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 3: and Nanny, And that is the end of that story.