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Speaker 1: I absolutely wrecked an old lady because of my dog's name.

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Speaker 2: You know sometimes, you know, you look at Humphrey and

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Speaker 2: Humphrey's like.

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Speaker 3: You gotta go in on this lady today. You know

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Speaker 3: what I mean? You you you gotta live up to

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Speaker 3: my name. Oh yeah right.

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Speaker 1: I feel like dogs should be more important than I

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Speaker 1: think dog names should be more important than human names.

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Speaker 3: Stop part of my name. My dog name, Scotty, change

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Speaker 3: your name? Come on, do it? Do it right now? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Like uh like my uh. My mom's best friend names

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Speaker 1: her dogs after famous politicians. Yep, move over, Winston Churchill,

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Speaker 1: we have pug Winston Churchill. That's right, most important person

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Speaker 1: in my life. Eight years ago, I got a gorgeous chug.

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Speaker 1: Chug Chug? Is that like a pug something?

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Speaker 3: Maybe chiaha pug? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I think that might be why, while extremely high, I

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Speaker 1: decided the greatest dog name ever thought of is ask him?

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Speaker 1: Because then people asked me his name, and I tell

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Speaker 1: them about fifty percent of a time they'll awkwardly bend

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Speaker 1: down and asked my dog its name.

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Speaker 3: It's hilarious. What's your dog name? What's your dog's name?

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Speaker 3: Ask him? What's your name? Who that's funny. I like that.

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Speaker 3: I like that good high idea.

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Speaker 1: I had my fun for the first few weeks, but

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Speaker 1: eventually everyone had just gotten used to the name and

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Speaker 1: the joke faded away. Occasionally I'll be chatting to someone

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Speaker 1: that hasn't met asked him yet, and when they ask

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Speaker 1: his name, I have my little laugh, But other than that,

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Speaker 1: it's a dead joke. Well, I just moved into a

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Speaker 1: new neighborhood with a great park that has lots of

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Speaker 1: dogs and very chatty regulars, very nice. An elderly lady

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Speaker 1: asked ask him his name and said what so, I

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Speaker 1: repeated myself, and she turned to my dog and asked

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Speaker 1: him his name. I quickly explained, but instead of getting

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Speaker 1: the usual chuckle, she became extremely upset and felt very humiliated.

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Speaker 1: Since then, a couple of people at the park have

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Speaker 1: approached me and told me they heard about my joke

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Speaker 1: and that they didn't appreciate Frank's in a nice family park.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Yo, these people can't take a joke in this neighborhood.

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Speaker 1: I honestly don't get it. But since the people that

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Speaker 1: have reacted well to my dog's dumb name have been

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Speaker 1: friends coworkers and family, and these strangers are having very

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Speaker 1: different reactions. I'll accept your judgment on it, and there

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Speaker 1: is an edit. But what do you think? Is it

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Speaker 1: a mean prank that should be stopped to ask to

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Speaker 1: name your dog? Ask him?

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Speaker 3: It's not even a fucking prank.

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Speaker 2: It's like like it's just like so benign, Like it's

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Speaker 2: just like it's like a dad joke.

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Speaker 3: Like I don't understand what's wrong. Bro, If you are the.

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Speaker 2: Type of person that has a problem with this, you

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Speaker 2: need to dig a very deep poll, give it it

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Speaker 2: and never come out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, Come on, like the world should be fun.

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Speaker 1: I could joke everyone.

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Speaker 3: Come on.

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Speaker 1: And the edit is I absolutely think that the reason

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Speaker 1: for her reaction is that I made her feel foolish,

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Speaker 1: and she undoubtedly thought it was intentional. This is a

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Speaker 1: pretty close knit community, and she sought support from her friends,

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Speaker 1: who took her distress at face value and confronted me

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Speaker 1: about it. The truth is is that I say the

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Speaker 1: word ask him multiple times a day. I'm aware that

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Speaker 1: the name originated as a joke, but at this point

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Speaker 1: it's just the thing I call my dog when going out.

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Speaker 1: I'm not looking for new victims. Or inviting people to

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Speaker 1: get tricked, and I wasn't trying to trick her. It

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Speaker 1: was just small talk, and I didn't even think about

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Speaker 1: it until I got a negative reaction. It's been pointed

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Speaker 1: out that elderly people can feel really insecure about their

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Speaker 1: diminishing faculties, and I know from personal experience that it's

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Speaker 1: very true. I really like the idea of posting an

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Speaker 1: explanation on the community Facebook page, especially now that I

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Speaker 1: know it's Turkish meaning and that it's a town in

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Speaker 1: Norway and a neighborhood in Sweden.

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Speaker 3: Nice. Wait, what's this Turkish meaning? My love?

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Speaker 2: That's great, that's great. He worked on so many levels.

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Speaker 2: Now you can be like, hey, it means my love.

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Speaker 2: I love my dog.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what we love. We love you,

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Speaker 1: so tell us what you would do in the commons. Also,

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Speaker 1: what are your dog's names? Yeah, those dames, we gotta

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Speaker 1: get some pet names in the show.

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Speaker 3: Best pet name will read it on the show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And to all my ask hims out there, we

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Speaker 1: love you and we'll see you soon.

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Speaker 3: My love.

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Speaker 2: Today by thinking a crazy homeless lady had a heat stroke,

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Speaker 2: but really she just wanted.

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Speaker 3: Me to lick her kiddy meowow.

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Speaker 1: That's that's the weirdest hub category that I've ever heard.

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Speaker 2: You know, people are getting real specific in these days,

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Speaker 2: real dialed in the most lady breaks into my house

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Speaker 2: from heat stroke.

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Speaker 3: That's not the only thing heating opera.

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Speaker 2: Oh this happened in the UK while we were going

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Speaker 2: through the hottest heat wave on the record. Damn you

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Speaker 2: okay you okay, b It's four pm and I'm mining

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Speaker 2: my own dang business in my back garden, trying.

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Speaker 1: To Hey, that's redundant. Everyone in the UK is always

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Speaker 1: mining their own business.

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Speaker 3: Does that mean something? That's just like they're polite.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, there's some sort of

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Speaker 1: reference here. I am missing something like business? Is there

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Speaker 1: some sort of like London business things? But we're gonna

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Speaker 1: get like more hate for the UK, I think something

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Speaker 1: like everyone so we got about it us for like

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Speaker 1: hating on the UK too much.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, multiple time. I don't even remember what it was.

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Speaker 3: Stupid yeah, because it was so eighty odds. Oh, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: You like tea and crumpets. Oh my god. Wow.

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Speaker 1: We won once, that's it, and for that reason we

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Speaker 1: could say whatever we want In America.

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Speaker 2: Baby, you know what, we're tripling down. Fuck the UK,

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Speaker 2: it's all over.

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Speaker 1: Our forefathers literally gave a giant middle finger to the

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Speaker 1: United States of Kingdoms.

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Speaker 3: That's right, big big wedgie.

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Speaker 1: Up the Yeah, yeah you're because you're between the legs babies.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 2: I was minding my own business in my back garden,

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Speaker 2: tidying up my shed when I hear somebody trying to

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Speaker 2: get into the back gate.

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Speaker 3: Oh, she's trying to get in through the back gate.

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Speaker 1: All right, hey you know, you know, you know when

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Speaker 1: you're a lady's trying to get to sneak a finger

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Speaker 1: into your back gate and I'm like, hey, what you're doing?

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Speaker 1: Does a little dirty back there?

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Speaker 3: Hey? Why are you using only one?

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Speaker 1: Okay, we've talked about this, talking about this for me

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Speaker 1: to feel anything multiple times. Let's let's go for five.

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Speaker 1: You know what, Yeah, throw caution to the way. You've

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Speaker 1: heard of the high five, but have you heard of

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Speaker 1: the low five? So back because that's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's like like uncles always go to the kids like oh.

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Speaker 3: Uncle, hey some people some people have those uncles. This

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Speaker 3: is true.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where it came from. Dark Okay, back to

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Speaker 1: the lights, Back to.

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Speaker 3: The back to the light.

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Speaker 1: This this woman trying to get her kitty licked. I

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Speaker 1: love how that's that's our version of light.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, you know, keeping it from I peeked through

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Speaker 2: the gap to see an elderly woman looking very hot,

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Speaker 2: in distress, spicy.

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Speaker 3: She notices me and starts shouting, please help me, please

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Speaker 3: help me. But I can't open the gate. But what

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Speaker 3: does she want to help with? Bouch getting that kiddy?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, that noise, like, yeah, maybe what's up, granny?

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Speaker 3: I know you've been around the block. John's trying to

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Speaker 3: pull all the guilts listening. Hey, what's good, grannie? If

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Speaker 3: you're over seventy, come over. Hey, if you turn fifty

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Speaker 3: when I was born, call me.

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Speaker 1: Up, call me, h bro, I'm trying to make that

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Speaker 1: Sahara frick in the Amazon. If you don't want them

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Speaker 1: to say, that's right, you haven't seen that much wetness

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Speaker 1: since seventy three.

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Speaker 3: Blushed.

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Speaker 2: But I cannot open the gate, so I tell her

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Speaker 2: to go around to the front door. I ran through

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Speaker 2: the house and I told her to come in and

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Speaker 2: take a seat while I get her a glass of water.

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Speaker 3: He told her to come in. Did she tell you

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Speaker 3: to also come in.

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Speaker 2: Get a glass of water so I can get you

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Speaker 2: nice and hydrated. Oh my god, she's mumbling gibberish and

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Speaker 2: rocking back and forth telling me that she's lost.

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Speaker 3: Do that.

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Speaker 2: She's rocking back and forth if you catch from adrift.

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Speaker 2: I suspected she had heat stroke and was suffering from

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Speaker 2: delirium and exhaustion, which is a fair assumption.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because the UK is like ridiculously hot right now.

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Speaker 1: I mean everything's hot, global warming.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 2: I like it hot, though, poor woman, and thank god

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Speaker 2: that I saved her. Now I pop upstairs to get

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Speaker 2: it's a great human bad like because he knows how

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Speaker 2: the story ends. But he's still saying like, oh this

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Speaker 2: poor woman, Like, thank god I was here to help her,

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Speaker 2: you know, shout out to you, like.

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Speaker 1: Shout out shout out to OPI for being a good Smaritan.

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Speaker 1: I pop upstairs and get a damp towel on the fan.

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Speaker 1: When I return, I find the woman sitting on my sofa,

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Speaker 1: smoking a cigarette and playing with her little kitty.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, she's being a little dj. What do

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Speaker 3: you do? Like, what do you say to that? Stop? Please?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: Ah, let me, Oh, yeah, I think you had heat

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Speaker 1: stroke before.

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Speaker 3: But wait until we turn it up a couple of.

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Speaker 2: Deeks, so you hear you feel the second wave from

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Speaker 2: my wave penus. Yeah, he's thinking the same as me.

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Speaker 2: You can't do that. I yell and be amusement. But

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Speaker 2: she carries on telling me how that is she can

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Speaker 2: do that.

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Speaker 3: She can't.

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Speaker 2: She carries on telling me how nice it feels. But

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Speaker 2: it feels great. Why would I stop, Sam? It feels great.

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Speaker 3: She got a point. She's got a point, so she's

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Speaker 3: not lying. She's telling that. She's being honest.

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Speaker 1: I know, maybe if you weren't so judge and took

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Speaker 1: some notes, you would become a better lover.

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Speaker 3: Op what happened to respecting honesty? Yeah? How about you

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Speaker 3: learn a thing, or do about a thing, or do

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Speaker 3: for real? Can you lick my little kidd?

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Speaker 1: She asks, to which I said, yes, Damn, I've been

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Speaker 1: awaiting all year for this.

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Speaker 3: I said, no way, And she has to get out?

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Speaker 3: How do you like move her? Like?

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Speaker 1: Where do you pick her up? Because you don't know

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Speaker 1: what's gonna happen? Do you try to put pants on?

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Speaker 1: Maybe like throw a blanket and then just like burrito

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Speaker 1: and just yeah, you get a carpet and roll it

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Speaker 1: up in the carpet like a little little little burrito

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Speaker 1: Brady Brito exactly.

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Speaker 2: This next part is you know, Sam, we thought it

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Speaker 2: was we thought the story was terrible. Yeah, but the

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Speaker 2: antie is up by one thousand percent.

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Speaker 3: Okay, next time it's anti.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a dog? What if you catch my

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Speaker 1: drift like like putting peanut butter.

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Speaker 2: Putting peanut butter in certain places and letting dogs do

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Speaker 2: what they do best. Wow, man's best friend just became

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Speaker 2: woman's best friend.

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Speaker 1: If you know it, I mean, you know, when you

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Speaker 1: got a tongue that long, you can you know all

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Speaker 1: the place.

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Speaker 2: The question is what that tongue do?

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I'll do everything.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is genius. I see my chance to get

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Speaker 2: her out of the house. Why yes, I do have

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Speaker 2: a dog, come with me? And I managed to get

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Speaker 2: her up and out into the garden. She's really trying

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Speaker 2: to come with them come together right? Nah, how over me?

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Speaker 2: But that's that's a whole new meaning on that song.

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Speaker 2: She not a Beatles fan.

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Speaker 3: Few ones. Yeah, come in with the dogs and a

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Speaker 3: peanut butter. Please that she just do what she please?

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Speaker 3: Come together with my dog on my couch. New song

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Speaker 3: of art. Yeah, he beatles who come together parentheses with

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Speaker 3: my dog grabbed the peanut butter basic.

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Speaker 2: But as she's walking to get to the garden, she

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Speaker 2: collapses onto the floor, making gagging noises, telling me she's

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Speaker 2: going to die still with her hand.

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Speaker 1: Between her legs. Yoh when she gagging that sweet look

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Speaker 1: so bad. This woman's dying from heat.

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Speaker 2: Literally, I'm trying to make her die from a different

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Speaker 2: kind of stroke.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, we're going down.

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Speaker 2: It's one hundred degrees and I myself am struggling to

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Speaker 2: be fair, so I know she will be in trouble

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Speaker 2: if we do not get her out of the heat. Oh,

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Speaker 2: he is still trying to be a good Samaritan here

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Speaker 2: and get her out of her arm's way.

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Speaker 3: Oh he's the most British person I know.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I call nine nine nine, Call nine one one, buddy, Yeah, what.

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Speaker 3: Are you German? Nine?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: Come on?

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Speaker 1: No, don't say no, no, no, say yes yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: that's right.

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Speaker 3: We're just like clouding.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we're taking. We're taking like everything you love. If

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Speaker 2: you have a number, I don't care what it is.

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Speaker 2: I am destroying you with it. They take five minutes

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Speaker 2: to answer, of course, and we love the UK, we

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Speaker 2: love them. We'll actually I'm planning going to London soon.

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Speaker 2: See there you go, we go, Yeah, just take a

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Speaker 2: piss on the freaking big bed.

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Speaker 1: I'm only going to London so I could take a

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Speaker 1: crap on your city. Yeah, yeah, kidding, just kidding, just kidding.

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Speaker 1: I will poop in your town.

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Speaker 2: Buy our tickets when we eventually tour there. Eventually they

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Speaker 2: answer and they tell me that there's no ambulances available.

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Speaker 1: Because you're calling nine facts. Nine one would never do

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Speaker 1: you like, yeah, one comes quick, that's right, don't even

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Speaker 1: need to say it.

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Speaker 3: They ask is she breathing? Is she conscious? Okay?

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Speaker 2: Then if she passes out, put her in a discovery position,

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Speaker 2: fan her and then calls back and we'll try to hurry.

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Speaker 3: What's the discovery position.

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Speaker 1: I feel like she would want you to put her

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Speaker 1: in the discovery position. You know, That's how I'd want

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Speaker 1: to discover you.

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Speaker 2: She keeps asking for the dog, shocking.

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Speaker 3: When that dog is a doll.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, the mouth is probably warm and incomfortable.

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Speaker 1: It's like, not have you ever have you ever been

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Speaker 1: acquainted with the ice cube? Tricks, a little sloppy toppy

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Speaker 1: with an ice cube inside.

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Speaker 2: I do, I do love air conditioning on my ass,

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Speaker 2: but I don't know if I would enjoy that. Actually,

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Speaker 2: I never know until you try, though, You never know.

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Speaker 3: That's what I say. That's what I always say.

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Speaker 2: And then she keeps asking for me and the dog

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Speaker 2: to make sweet.

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Speaker 3: Love to weirdest threesome ever.

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Speaker 2: When I try to move her into the house, she

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Speaker 2: keeps trying to grab and kiss me. What the heck

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Speaker 2: is going on? You kiss back, bro, Hey, you know

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Speaker 2: you say smooth double down. The hospital is a five

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Speaker 2: minute walk, so I make the decision to get her

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Speaker 2: there by carrying her.

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Speaker 3: In the one hundred degree weather. Literally.

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Speaker 2: He says, it's either this or she's gonna die from

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Speaker 2: a heat stroke, or you just let her finish in

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Speaker 2: your apartment, you know, be a gentleman. Good God, bring

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Speaker 2: the dogs, Bring the dog. So I tell her I

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Speaker 2: know a really nice dog across the road, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to take her to it.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, man's a dog. This is what really

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Speaker 1: happens on those wagwalks.

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Speaker 2: Oh God, these poor doggies. Roger No, Her eyes light

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Speaker 2: up with gleeful excitement, and she heads with me.

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Speaker 3: Out in the garden, just God to love it.

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Speaker 2: I get her to put her leggings on and begin

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Speaker 2: to walk to the hospital while being essayed the entire way.

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Speaker 2: Nine nine nine rings me back and I tell them

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Speaker 2: the plan. The closest door is the ear and throat

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Speaker 2: department or something like that. So I'm going to carry

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Speaker 2: her to where there's air conditioning and sit her down.

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Speaker 2: I shout for help in a nurse of peers. She

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Speaker 2: fetches some water, and I leave her in their capable hands.

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Speaker 2: They all seem to know who she was, and apparently

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Speaker 2: that she had been in the mental ward, a repeat defender.

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Speaker 2: As I walk out, she yells, where's.

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Speaker 3: The dog to lick my kitty cat?

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Speaker 1: My god, Wow, she's one track mind. You know some

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Speaker 1: some people say that persistence is dead, but entrepreneurial, entrepreneurial

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Speaker 1: spirit right there, you know, live for the pursuit.

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Speaker 3: Hey, you have a dream. Don't let anyone tell you different.

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Speaker 3: They't let anyone stop you.

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Speaker 1: You have that dream, and you persue it by any

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Speaker 1: means necessary, even if that means you have to go

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Speaker 1: all the way to the worst country on planet Earth.

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Speaker 1: That's right, the country that birthed our country forcibly, m hm,

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Speaker 1: the United Kingdom.

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Speaker 2: That's right, Make it happen America. The nurses looked puzzled.

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Speaker 2: I shrug my shoulders and I walk out. I return home,

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Speaker 2: lock all the doors and gates, and have a shower

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Speaker 2: to wash the woman's sweat and fanny juice off of me.

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Speaker 1: My god, he literally said, fanny juice. That's we're gonna

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Speaker 1: take that one. That's a great one.

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Speaker 3: I have not seen her today, but I hope she's

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Speaker 3: feeling better.

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Speaker 1: She would feel better if you gave her a dog.

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Speaker 1: Let the dog lake her glitters. Yeah, I'm sorry, who

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Speaker 1: let the dogs out? You should, that's right,