1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: Buggal up, Hold on tight, we gotta call you here. 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:07,280 Speaker 1: It is jaw Berry Letta. I know subject kind of 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 1: manage TOI save my marriage. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've known 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: my husband for twenty years and we've been married for 5 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 1: three years. He cheated on me multiple times with multiple women, 6 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: but I'm standing by my wedding vows. I always prayed 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: that the Good Lord would see us through his infidelity, 8 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,560 Speaker 1: and now we're rebuilding our marriage. Not many women would 9 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,840 Speaker 1: be as forgiving as I am. Having said all of that, 10 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:38,600 Speaker 1: I still have plenty of good sense, and I've reached 11 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: my limit on foolishness, So you can only imagine how 12 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 1: I felt recently when my husband asked me for a threesome. Yes, 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,479 Speaker 1: he asked me more than once to have another woman 14 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: join us in the bedroom. He said that it will 15 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: keep him from fantasizing about other women and having the 16 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: urge to cheat. I told him he needs profession, final help, 17 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: and a better relationship with the Lord. He told me 18 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: that I need to obey him like I obey the 19 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: Lord and give him what he wants. Like I said, 20 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: I stand by my vows, and I do submit and 21 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: obey my husband to an extent, but this time he 22 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:20,039 Speaker 1: has gone too far. The God that I served would 23 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: not condone this. I don't want to lose my marriage, 24 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: but this man may need more than I can give him. 25 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,680 Speaker 1: Please help me figure this one out. Wow. And as 26 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 1: we mentioned earlier, Steve will not be responding. Tommy will Jesus, 27 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:40,399 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to I can, okay? All right? All right? 28 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: Well you know what you ask for us to Please 29 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,119 Speaker 1: help you figure this one out. I think you know, 30 00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: in your heart of hearts you you already have this 31 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: figured out. You know what the deal is. Uh, you 32 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: just want Steve and I to confirm it for you. 33 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: I mean, you have to ask yourself wedding vows aside 34 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: for a second, why are you still taking this, this 35 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: cheating and these ridiculous requests from your husband? I mean, 36 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: why are you still standing in all of this? Your 37 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 1: husband is disrespectful, he's selfish, uh, and has obviously no 38 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: regard for you, your marriage or your marriage vows. Just 39 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: because you've known him for twenty years and have been 40 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: hanging in there, it doesn't mean you can't put his 41 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: trifling but in his place. Let him know how you 42 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: really really feel. Just like you told us in the letter. 43 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: I mean, you're right. Not many women would be as 44 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: forgiving as you are. Uh so many women are, though, 45 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: But I you know, this is a lot. Twenty years, 46 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: he's been cheating on you with multiple women, and you're 47 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: still there. I mean, I just don't know how much 48 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: more you think you can take. I mean, or are 49 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: you willing to take? Why are you willing to take this? 50 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,959 Speaker 1: You don't have to. You don't have to. There is 51 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,960 Speaker 1: nothing in the marriage vows that say you have to 52 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: stay here if he's cheating on you like this. This 53 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: is ridiculous. Um. You know, like I said, I think 54 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 1: you've figured this out on your own. You know what 55 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: to do. You just want Steve and I to confirm it. 56 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: If he continues to do this, you gotta get out 57 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: of this. I think you made a good suggestion. He 58 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: does need professional help and a better relationship with the Lord. 59 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: Having said that, Tommy, you're up, glad you finished with 60 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:23,959 Speaker 1: the Lord. Obey me like you obey the Lord, obey 61 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: me the same way. What do the biles say? What 62 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: do they say? Ana and obey? Don't they say that? Yeah? 63 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: A lot of women don't keep those in there, though, 64 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: but but they but so you can't just take out 65 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: what you want. So let me say this to you. 66 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: Get some old people in this room. I didn't ask 67 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: for it, and ask for it now I quit flirting 68 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: with other women. If you do what, get some old 69 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: paper in this room. I apologize for the twenty years 70 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: of disrespecting you and cheating. I'm asking you not so 71 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: I don't have to cheat on you. We do this together. 72 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: You want to do stuff together, Let's do stuff together. 73 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: Get some more people in this room. That's what I want. 74 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: I'm asking you to your faith for a manage whatever 75 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 1: they called it, creo. It's what I want. Threesome. Yes, 76 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: asking you for Oh I hope she listening this morning? 77 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 1: Another thing. The cheating stops. And soon as you get 78 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 1: somebody in this room, we could do it together. So 79 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: it's okay to cheat as long as you're in the 80 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: bed together. This is fun, This is this is Shane, 81 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: this is ansome. Yeah, yeah, what kind of you want? 82 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,480 Speaker 1: What you want me to say to him? Oh? He wronged. 83 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,400 Speaker 1: He shouldn't be asking you. He's down the question. Steve 84 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 1: is wrong for letting you do this. No, this is 85 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. We got to get it all out 86 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: in the open. You understand that that's how naked gets 87 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,919 Speaker 1: better when you get it out and open. You ain't 88 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 1: felt naked to you out there comfortable with yourself, and 89 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: see out there with you naked together, and we invite 90 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: me for ends over, Come on to you understand. Come on, 91 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: We're gonna have food, We're gonna have oh drinks, We're 92 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: gonna be naked all that. U's gonna be in there 93 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: together having what butt naked fun? I've never been butt 94 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: naked not having fun? Tell me that. But if but 95 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: she don't know, what if she don't try, and she 96 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: wants this to work. She loves him, man, she don't 97 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: want to leave to your body. What did she say? 98 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: I'm standing by my wedding vows. Yes, you are standing 99 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:32,360 Speaker 1: by your man, baby, standing by your man naked naked eal. 100 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: I'm trying to say something profile Yeah, we'll be back. 101 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 1: This strawberry letter, the subjects kind of manage twice save 102 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: my marriage. Please. Let's first of all, it's a ridiculous 103 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 1: statement for this woman to make. She's been with this 104 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: husband for twenty years, they've been married three He's cheated 105 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: on her multiple times with multiple women. You are. She 106 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,960 Speaker 1: standing by her wedding vows. She's prayed that the Good 107 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: Lord would see us through this infidelity. Now they're rebuilding 108 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: their marriage, and she realizes that not many women would 109 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: be as forgiven as I am. Having said that, uh, 110 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: and she still got plenty good sense, she has reached 111 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 1: her limit of foolishness. So I can only imagine how 112 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: we felt when he recently asked her for a threesome. 113 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: He asked this lady more than once to have another 114 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: woman join us in the bedroom. He said it will 115 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: keep him from fantasizing about other women and having the 116 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: urge to cheat. She told him he needs professional help 117 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 1: and a better relationship with the Lord. He told her 118 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 1: that I need to obey him like I obey the 119 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:53,279 Speaker 1: Lord and give him what he wants. Well, the lady 120 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: then said, I stand by my vials, and I do 121 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: submit and obey my husband to an extent. But this 122 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: time he's gone too far. God I served would not 123 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: condone this. I don't want to lose my marriage. That's 124 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: a key line here. But this man may need more 125 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: than I can give him. Please help me figure this out. 126 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: It's nothing to figure this out. Listen to me. First 127 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: of all, you're the only one honoring the Vials in 128 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:23,440 Speaker 1: this relationship. You're the only one. He has never honored 129 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: de Vials, and he's not willing to honor him. Now, 130 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 1: you don't really have a real marriage. You have something, 131 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: but he's not married to you. You're just married to him. 132 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: Not a cold part about this dude is he didn't 133 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: ask you to have a threesome. And the reason he 134 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: told you that because it would keep him from fantasizing 135 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:51,640 Speaker 1: about other women and having the urge to cheat. What 136 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 1: so you think if you bring another woman in the bedroom, 137 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: it will stop you from fantasizing about him and it 138 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: cause you not to want to cheat eat when the 139 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: whole time you in that living out of fantasy and 140 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: cheating and your wife watching boy bye, I mean for real, 141 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: are you serious? So what this man has done, he's 142 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: pulled to Donald Trump on you. He has flipped the narrative. 143 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: He actually got you thinking that it's because of you 144 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: that he's having to fantasize and cheat. And if you 145 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,920 Speaker 1: wanted to stop, you would bring in a third party. 146 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 1: Then you would have your husband not cheating and fantasizing. 147 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: But the whole time he played living out of fantasy, 148 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: and he's cheating right in front of you, with your permission. Lady, 149 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: you're not that stupid, you can't be. And then he 150 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: keeps talking about you should obey him the way you 151 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: obey the Lord. What boy, You ain't the Lord. You 152 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 1: ain't even close. Here's the problem with the bringing the 153 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 1: woman into the marriage that's already in trouble. How do 154 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 1: you fix what's wrong with another wrong. He's not trying 155 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: to fix his marriage. He's trying to get all his 156 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: urges in fantasies fulfill and they don't include you, They 157 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: include other women. I can't believe you entertaining this. I 158 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: can't believe you still manage it. Why are you married 159 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:39,960 Speaker 1: to him? It's only be y'all only got twenty years invested. 160 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:44,319 Speaker 1: My question is why don't you leave so you can 161 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:48,960 Speaker 1: stop this misery you in? And do you want twenty 162 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 1: more years of this? Because that's all he trying to do. 163 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: He needs to be married to a striple. Yeah, he 164 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 1: didn't go down there and just get one of the 165 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,839 Speaker 1: girls down off the pole. That he don't mind doing 166 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,719 Speaker 1: this way, and then that that look man, that work 167 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: with you, right, they will work with you. This is 168 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: so sad, and I want to apologize for my dam 169 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 1: Thank you, I'm so But meanwhile around this country, I'm 170 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,559 Speaker 1: just telling me, they're blowing their horn up on this 171 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: with him telling you now. A lot of them can't 172 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 1: see it at the house, but a bunch of them 173 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,000 Speaker 1: in their car right now. You know what they're doing. 174 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 1: Why are they blowing their horn? They're blowing their horn 175 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: because I see it. If you are a brother, that's 176 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,240 Speaker 1: a man is riding around right now, you would like 177 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: to have a threesome at the high n blow your horn, 178 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,400 Speaker 1: That's all I said. And they are blowing, and that 179 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 1: is so crazy. Get your life, get some Lord in 180 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: your life. All right, we'll see. We gotta get out 181 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 1: of here. Um, you can email us or instagram at 182 00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter. Two minutes. I didn't know. 183 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: All right, Well you can say Morris Steve if you 184 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: want no, Okay, So so let me just ask you, 185 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: so this man of man, you ain't never had that 186 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: thought again, before marriage, before marrig you ain't never had that. Yeah, 187 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 1: he's told us his experience, though Tommy, he didn't know 188 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: what he was doing. He didn't the most confusing thing 189 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: happens most of damn confusing things. I didn't know how 190 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: to do it. I needed some instruction. I need a manual. 191 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 1: When I was in there, I didn't know. Okay, we've 192 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 1: been kissing for five seconds. I'm gonna kiss half of five. 193 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,080 Speaker 1: I was back and forth. I was I was so 194 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: tired of turning over in the bed. Were exhausted, stories ever, 195 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,599 Speaker 1: slipping from side to side. I was something. It was exhausted. 196 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: Ain't coming. I ain't even like one of them with 197 00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:01,679 Speaker 1: the other one tapping me. I'll hold on. But let 198 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: me ask you this day hold on before did you 199 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,280 Speaker 1: think this was like the greatest thing? Oh you could dog? 200 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:16,080 Speaker 1: I thought this was it the pinnacle you had reached. 201 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: And then you got there. Lord mare myself even alright, See, 202 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: we gotta go email us or Instagram. That's your thoughts 203 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 1: on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey dot com and 204 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: uh Steve Harvey f M and at My Girls Shirley 205 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: and today don't forget. At one thirty pm, joined me 206 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: for the Strawberry Letter Live after show on Facebook. You're 207 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,360 Speaker 1: listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show