Speaker 1: Motherfucking many year soul, motherfucking many years sold. Yep, yep, yep,
Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
Speaker 1: to another spectacular mini episode of My Mama's Told Me,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we died deep, deep into the pockets
Speaker 1: of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove
Speaker 1: the theories that you the listeners have at home. That's right,
Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen. I don't know why I keep doing this,
Speaker 1: this sort of midnight whisper sort of That's right, ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, just sexy. Let's get sexy with our conspiracy theories.
Speaker 1: Let's fun while while the soft whispers of Lee Harvey
Speaker 1: Oswald lay in the background. I don't know what why
Speaker 1: would funk with Lee R. V. Oswald talking? It's probably
Speaker 1: crazy talk. Who knows, Maybe he's an innocent man. I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's some some white devil out there who wants
Speaker 1: me to believe that Lee Harvey Oswald didn't absolutely nothing wrong.
Speaker 1: And you know what, whitey can't trick me, can't trick me.
Speaker 1: He was wrong by being a white man in America.
Speaker 1: So even if he didn't kill JFKA or who are
Speaker 1: it's Jakay. I'm pretty sure even if he didn't kill JFK,
Speaker 1: I blame him. I blame him for a lot of
Speaker 1: other things that he's done. I'm your host, Lengthening Kerman.
Speaker 1: It's a long way to go to get me to
Speaker 1: introduce myself. I guess either way, I'm excited to be
Speaker 1: here because, as always I'm coming at you not with
Speaker 1: my own conspiracy theories, not with the conspiracy theories of
Speaker 1: my friends, but the conspiracy theories of absolute strangers who
Speaker 1: for some reason continue to invest in the stupid ship
Speaker 1: that I'm putting out in the world. Now, today's conspiracy
Speaker 1: theory is a unique one because this coming. Usually when
Speaker 1: people send me ship, it requires me to do a
Speaker 1: fair amount of research. I have to go digging into
Speaker 1: a pile of Google searches to make sense of this
Speaker 1: whole thing. I have to be inquisitive and and and
Speaker 1: curious in a way that takes a little bit out
Speaker 1: of your boy, if I'm being honest, exapts my energy
Speaker 1: a little bit. But that said, today's conspiracy theory comes
Speaker 1: from a person who chose to remain anonymous coward, fucking coward,
Speaker 1: but they chose to remain anonymous. But they sent me
Speaker 1: a message where they had done quite a bit of
Speaker 1: the research on their own, you know, where they had
Speaker 1: already taken care of a lot of the work. Now
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean it's legitimate, but it does mean they
Speaker 1: did a bunch of work. And so I'm gonna read
Speaker 1: you their message and then we'll jump into some of
Speaker 1: the research that they've assembled for me to unpack with
Speaker 1: you all, and and we'll talk about it. We'll see
Speaker 1: how this goes. So this person, this anonymous coward, coward
Speaker 1: said dear light skin links and not how I'm commonly
Speaker 1: referred to, nor is that my preference. But here we
Speaker 1: are dear light skin links and alternatively lengths and hughes
Speaker 1: mixed misspelled hughes, but still hughes is what they were attempting.
Speaker 1: I am writing with a conspiracy. I know your butter
Speaker 1: scotch ass hasn't heard of because I made it up.
Speaker 1: That's right, I'm the mama. I like that. I'm here
Speaker 1: to tell you that the COVID nineteen virus was not
Speaker 1: created by a government or by Chinese man eating a beat,
Speaker 1: but by two corporations looking to increase their profits. Amazon invisor. Oh,
Speaker 1: check with legal if you can use company names. Well,
Speaker 1: you probably should have mentioned that before you listed the names.
Speaker 1: As I re read the email, don't want to black
Speaker 1: men going to jail for libel weds too late, because
Speaker 1: now they're they're knocking at my door, anonymous coward. They're
Speaker 1: kicking down my door to send me to jail for
Speaker 1: saying Amazon and or viser. Oh no, I'm gonna attach
Speaker 1: a paper, he says, or she who knows what this
Speaker 1: person is. I'm going to attach a paper I wrote
Speaker 1: on Amazon's expansion. Only read the Amazon Behemoth porchun because
Speaker 1: it has all of the sources you need on Amazon's
Speaker 1: growth in the midst of the pandemic. You'll have to
Speaker 1: do your own research on fser unless you want to
Speaker 1: give me a producer credit. I do not, in which
Speaker 1: case I will demand five percent of your sponsorship earnings.
Speaker 1: Give me the coriander from your Hello Fresh Box nigger. Look, man,
Speaker 1: I hate I hate that you guys want to be
Speaker 1: so funny in your goddamn emails. Just tell me the
Speaker 1: ship that's interesting, you pieces? God damn it, all right,
Speaker 1: one interesting fact, Oh, here he goes, that's the interesting part.
Speaker 1: One interesting fact to add to the Amazon notes. While
Speaker 1: it is the largest e retailer in the US, it
Speaker 1: is the second largest in the world, behind the Chinese
Speaker 1: company Ali Baba blaming Covid on China to deflect question
Speaker 1: mark question mark question mark, great strategy, You better exacerbate
Speaker 1: those geopolitical tensions. I like that I can talk more
Speaker 1: at length about why I think a company would want
Speaker 1: to start a global pandemic. But it's late here and
Speaker 1: I'm tired. I hope you enjoyed this email to light skinned,
Speaker 1: brown skin and dark skinned solidarity anonymous coward. Oh and
Speaker 1: they also said, and don't you dare use my real
Speaker 1: name or my fake name. Don't need the FEDS on
Speaker 1: my case like whiteness on a biracial man's conscience. Okay, bye, bitch.
Speaker 1: Is the sign off this that that's what this person
Speaker 1: wrote to me. Now, the aforementioned study, the the case
Speaker 1: study that this person assembled is not a small assemblage.
Speaker 1: It's actually a fifty four page document that they sent
Speaker 1: my way, ten thousand words that they sent to me expecting,
Speaker 1: I guess, for me to to read a small portion
Speaker 1: of it. Certainly I wasn't planning on reading the whole thing.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I don't care for reading at all,
Speaker 1: which is why I'm so bad at it. But at
Speaker 1: the core of their argument, and this is where they
Speaker 1: tell me to go to the Amazon Behemoth section, which
Speaker 1: I did read. I read the entire Amazon Beheman section,
Speaker 1: and afterwards I felt very proud of myself. I sat
Speaker 1: back and I said, you did it, big man. You're big,
Speaker 1: and you're strong, and and you know nobody can tell
Speaker 1: you otherwise. But the core of the argument that this
Speaker 1: person is making is that Amazon grew exponentially during the pandemic,
Speaker 1: both Amazon, the the corporation, as well as Amazon's chief face.
Speaker 1: I guess that now he is no longer sort of
Speaker 1: like the the the main guy, but at the time
Speaker 1: was the main guy, which is Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos
Speaker 1: basically doubled his billions in the pandemic because of the
Speaker 1: sales from Amazon. Now, one of the things that that
Speaker 1: I think I immediate lea latched onto and hearing this
Speaker 1: conspiracy theory because it is an interesting one. There's something
Speaker 1: interesting in the suggestion that corporations might intentionally introduce a
Speaker 1: type of problem. Let's let's let's be careful with our words,
Speaker 1: they might introduce a type of problem into the world
Speaker 1: that only their corporation could solve and or benefit from.
Speaker 1: That's an interesting conversation. Where it starts to fall a
Speaker 1: little short for me, or where the the connection isn't
Speaker 1: quite landing in my mind, is that there's not a
Speaker 1: lot of evidence of the actual of Amazon cooking up viruses.
Speaker 1: There is a fair amount of evidence of Amazon benefiting
Speaker 1: from the virus. And I think it's one of those
Speaker 1: things that that we we as people might do better
Speaker 1: if we finally reach a point where we acknowledge that
Speaker 1: a lot, a lot, a lot of the people who
Speaker 1: are in power are very very dumb. They're not smart people.
Speaker 1: And I think for years and this is what the
Speaker 1: Illuminati suggests. This is what sort of like that deep state,
Speaker 1: all the bullshit trigger words that people have about all
Speaker 1: of these things. It suggests that there there's like these
Speaker 1: masterminds sitting behind these giant tables coming up with with
Speaker 1: beautiful conspiracy theories that are almost like like three D
Speaker 1: chess games that played out with with poor people. And
Speaker 1: the reality is it's a bunch of dumb fucks. Nobody's
Speaker 1: smarter than George W. Bush. You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: nobody's nobody's a brilliant person. But when introduced to the
Speaker 1: opportunity to take advantage of poor people, to make money
Speaker 1: off of those who are most vulnerable susceptible, God damn it,
Speaker 1: do they lean in If there's an injured deer walking
Speaker 1: on the side of the road, You goddamn right there,
Speaker 1: gonna beat it with the back of their gun and
Speaker 1: put it in their truck and hang that motherfucker on
Speaker 1: the wall. Do you know what I mean? That that's
Speaker 1: their thing. They love to see the weakest of us struggling,
Speaker 1: and then they take advantage of it. More so so
Speaker 1: I I say all of this to say, do I
Speaker 1: personally believe that these corporations have cooked up a magical
Speaker 1: poison to put out in the atmosphere and kill off
Speaker 1: all of our people? Probably? Not. Probably, I don't think
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos is that savvy. He hasn't even learned to
Speaker 1: fix his eye, folks. His eyes still fucked up, and
Speaker 1: he has the most money, literally the most money any
Speaker 1: human being has ever had in the history of this planet,
Speaker 1: and he still cannot get his eye working the way
Speaker 1: that regular eyes are meant to work. You're telling me
Speaker 1: this motherfucker thought of COVID. I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think what he did think of is the fact that
Speaker 1: a bunch of people were at home and stranded and
Speaker 1: without communication and without resources, and his company, which he
Speaker 1: had already sort of like laid out and had working perfectly,
Speaker 1: was in a great position to take advantage of that.
Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos, he's a monster. Let's not not even for
Speaker 1: a second do I want to suggest that he's not
Speaker 1: a monster. I just don't know if he's as intelligent
Speaker 1: as some of the monstrosity that we sometimes attached to
Speaker 1: these these figures. There aren't that many criminal masterminds. A
Speaker 1: lot of these people are just sort of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're limping, they're limping along and just taking advantage of
Speaker 1: our us in our weakest form. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: This didn't I didn't really get into any of his research.
Speaker 1: He has so much, so much detailed reass he or
Speaker 1: she has so much detailed research here about the the
Speaker 1: thirties seven point six to percent increase that Amazon saw
Speaker 1: in sales over over the course of end and the
Speaker 1: the ways in which Jeff Bezos hit it all the
Speaker 1: way into the two hundred and twenty billion dollar point,
Speaker 1: like he's he's a he's a two hundred billionaire, and
Speaker 1: all of this ship is very valuable information, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't really introduce very much connective tissue to accuse this
Speaker 1: man of cooking up COVID. That said, I think he's
Speaker 1: cooked up a lot of fucked up things that are
Speaker 1: maybe worse than COVID. I think there's an argument to
Speaker 1: say that the way that uh that people are misusing
Speaker 1: and misusing is a probably a weighted word here. The
Speaker 1: way people are taking advantage of capitalism at this point
Speaker 1: might be worse than than whatever could have happened with COVID.
Speaker 1: Capitalisms kill way more people than a fucking pandemic did,
Speaker 1: and will continue to kill a lot more people afterwards.
Speaker 1: But that's neither here nor there. I don't know. This
Speaker 1: didn't end up being as fun of an episode as
Speaker 1: I imagined, and I apologize to this anonymous coward for
Speaker 1: not giving more length to their to their very thought
Speaker 1: out research, although probably extremely dangerous research if it were
Speaker 1: ever to be published in a in a peer reviewed space.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't imagine that Jeff Bezos is
Speaker 1: being chill about people accusing him of creating COVID. Either way,
Speaker 1: if you want to accuse a billionaire of creating a
Speaker 1: uh A world ending virus, then please send your conspiracy
Speaker 1: theories to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. I
Speaker 1: would love to hear from you, and as always, subscribe
Speaker 1: to the podcast. Come on, say something nice, say something mean.
Speaker 1: I just need more of you to say something, say something.
Speaker 1: I'm giving up on you. It's that that classic song
Speaker 1: that that I don't know which which white sung it,
Speaker 1: but but I liked it. I secretly liked it quite
Speaker 1: a bit. And maybe that means I'm part of the problem,
Speaker 1: you know. Maybe that means I've got to do some
Speaker 1: work on myself. Anyway, that's it, Okay, bye, bitch. Motherfucking
Speaker 1: miny years, so many years, so motherfucking mini EPs, so
Speaker 1: motherfucking Mini years, so many episode motherfucking Mini ever so