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Speaker 1: Motherfucking many year soul, motherfucking many years sold. Yep, yep, yep,

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Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

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Speaker 1: to another spectacular mini episode of My Mama's Told Me,

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Speaker 1: the podcast where we died deep, deep into the pockets

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Speaker 1: of black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove

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Speaker 1: the theories that you the listeners have at home. That's right,

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Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen. I don't know why I keep doing this,

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Speaker 1: this sort of midnight whisper sort of That's right, ladies

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Speaker 1: and gentlemen, just sexy. Let's get sexy with our conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 1: Let's fun while while the soft whispers of Lee Harvey

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Speaker 1: Oswald lay in the background. I don't know what why

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Speaker 1: would funk with Lee R. V. Oswald talking? It's probably

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Speaker 1: crazy talk. Who knows, Maybe he's an innocent man. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure there's some some white devil out there who wants

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Speaker 1: me to believe that Lee Harvey Oswald didn't absolutely nothing wrong.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, whitey can't trick me, can't trick me.

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Speaker 1: He was wrong by being a white man in America.

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Speaker 1: So even if he didn't kill JFKA or who are

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Speaker 1: it's Jakay. I'm pretty sure even if he didn't kill JFK,

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Speaker 1: I blame him. I blame him for a lot of

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Speaker 1: other things that he's done. I'm your host, Lengthening Kerman.

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Speaker 1: It's a long way to go to get me to

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Speaker 1: introduce myself. I guess either way, I'm excited to be

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Speaker 1: here because, as always I'm coming at you not with

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Speaker 1: my own conspiracy theories, not with the conspiracy theories of

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Speaker 1: my friends, but the conspiracy theories of absolute strangers who

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Speaker 1: for some reason continue to invest in the stupid ship

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Speaker 1: that I'm putting out in the world. Now, today's conspiracy

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Speaker 1: theory is a unique one because this coming. Usually when

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Speaker 1: people send me ship, it requires me to do a

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Speaker 1: fair amount of research. I have to go digging into

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Speaker 1: a pile of Google searches to make sense of this

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Speaker 1: whole thing. I have to be inquisitive and and and

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Speaker 1: curious in a way that takes a little bit out

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Speaker 1: of your boy, if I'm being honest, exapts my energy

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Speaker 1: a little bit. But that said, today's conspiracy theory comes

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Speaker 1: from a person who chose to remain anonymous coward, fucking coward,

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Speaker 1: but they chose to remain anonymous. But they sent me

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Speaker 1: a message where they had done quite a bit of

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Speaker 1: the research on their own, you know, where they had

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Speaker 1: already taken care of a lot of the work. Now

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Speaker 1: that doesn't mean it's legitimate, but it does mean they

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Speaker 1: did a bunch of work. And so I'm gonna read

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Speaker 1: you their message and then we'll jump into some of

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Speaker 1: the research that they've assembled for me to unpack with

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Speaker 1: you all, and and we'll talk about it. We'll see

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Speaker 1: how this goes. So this person, this anonymous coward, coward

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Speaker 1: said dear light skin links and not how I'm commonly

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Speaker 1: referred to, nor is that my preference. But here we

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Speaker 1: are dear light skin links and alternatively lengths and hughes

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Speaker 1: mixed misspelled hughes, but still hughes is what they were attempting.

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Speaker 1: I am writing with a conspiracy. I know your butter

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Speaker 1: scotch ass hasn't heard of because I made it up.

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Speaker 1: That's right, I'm the mama. I like that. I'm here

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Speaker 1: to tell you that the COVID nineteen virus was not

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Speaker 1: created by a government or by Chinese man eating a beat,

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Speaker 1: but by two corporations looking to increase their profits. Amazon invisor. Oh,

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Speaker 1: check with legal if you can use company names. Well,

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Speaker 1: you probably should have mentioned that before you listed the names.

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Speaker 1: As I re read the email, don't want to black

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Speaker 1: men going to jail for libel weds too late, because

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Speaker 1: now they're they're knocking at my door, anonymous coward. They're

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Speaker 1: kicking down my door to send me to jail for

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Speaker 1: saying Amazon and or viser. Oh no, I'm gonna attach

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Speaker 1: a paper, he says, or she who knows what this

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Speaker 1: person is. I'm going to attach a paper I wrote

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Speaker 1: on Amazon's expansion. Only read the Amazon Behemoth porchun because

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Speaker 1: it has all of the sources you need on Amazon's

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Speaker 1: growth in the midst of the pandemic. You'll have to

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Speaker 1: do your own research on fser unless you want to

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Speaker 1: give me a producer credit. I do not, in which

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Speaker 1: case I will demand five percent of your sponsorship earnings.

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Speaker 1: Give me the coriander from your Hello Fresh Box nigger. Look, man,

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Speaker 1: I hate I hate that you guys want to be

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Speaker 1: so funny in your goddamn emails. Just tell me the

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Speaker 1: ship that's interesting, you pieces? God damn it, all right,

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Speaker 1: one interesting fact, Oh, here he goes, that's the interesting part.

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Speaker 1: One interesting fact to add to the Amazon notes. While

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Speaker 1: it is the largest e retailer in the US, it

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Speaker 1: is the second largest in the world, behind the Chinese

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Speaker 1: company Ali Baba blaming Covid on China to deflect question

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Speaker 1: mark question mark question mark, great strategy, You better exacerbate

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Speaker 1: those geopolitical tensions. I like that I can talk more

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Speaker 1: at length about why I think a company would want

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Speaker 1: to start a global pandemic. But it's late here and

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Speaker 1: I'm tired. I hope you enjoyed this email to light skinned,

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Speaker 1: brown skin and dark skinned solidarity anonymous coward. Oh and

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Speaker 1: they also said, and don't you dare use my real

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Speaker 1: name or my fake name. Don't need the FEDS on

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Speaker 1: my case like whiteness on a biracial man's conscience. Okay, bye, bitch.

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Speaker 1: Is the sign off this that that's what this person

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Speaker 1: wrote to me. Now, the aforementioned study, the the case

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Speaker 1: study that this person assembled is not a small assemblage.

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Speaker 1: It's actually a fifty four page document that they sent

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Speaker 1: my way, ten thousand words that they sent to me expecting,

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Speaker 1: I guess, for me to to read a small portion

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Speaker 1: of it. Certainly I wasn't planning on reading the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I don't care for reading at all,

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Speaker 1: which is why I'm so bad at it. But at

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Speaker 1: the core of their argument, and this is where they

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Speaker 1: tell me to go to the Amazon Behemoth section, which

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Speaker 1: I did read. I read the entire Amazon Beheman section,

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Speaker 1: and afterwards I felt very proud of myself. I sat

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Speaker 1: back and I said, you did it, big man. You're big,

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Speaker 1: and you're strong, and and you know nobody can tell

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Speaker 1: you otherwise. But the core of the argument that this

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Speaker 1: person is making is that Amazon grew exponentially during the pandemic,

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Speaker 1: both Amazon, the the corporation, as well as Amazon's chief face.

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Speaker 1: I guess that now he is no longer sort of

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Speaker 1: like the the the main guy, but at the time

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Speaker 1: was the main guy, which is Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos

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Speaker 1: basically doubled his billions in the pandemic because of the

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Speaker 1: sales from Amazon. Now, one of the things that that

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Speaker 1: I think I immediate lea latched onto and hearing this

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Speaker 1: conspiracy theory because it is an interesting one. There's something

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Speaker 1: interesting in the suggestion that corporations might intentionally introduce a

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Speaker 1: type of problem. Let's let's let's be careful with our words,

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Speaker 1: they might introduce a type of problem into the world

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Speaker 1: that only their corporation could solve and or benefit from.

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Speaker 1: That's an interesting conversation. Where it starts to fall a

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Speaker 1: little short for me, or where the the connection isn't

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Speaker 1: quite landing in my mind, is that there's not a

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Speaker 1: lot of evidence of the actual of Amazon cooking up viruses.

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Speaker 1: There is a fair amount of evidence of Amazon benefiting

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Speaker 1: from the virus. And I think it's one of those

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Speaker 1: things that that we we as people might do better

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Speaker 1: if we finally reach a point where we acknowledge that

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Speaker 1: a lot, a lot, a lot of the people who

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Speaker 1: are in power are very very dumb. They're not smart people.

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Speaker 1: And I think for years and this is what the

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Speaker 1: Illuminati suggests. This is what sort of like that deep state,

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Speaker 1: all the bullshit trigger words that people have about all

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Speaker 1: of these things. It suggests that there there's like these

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Speaker 1: masterminds sitting behind these giant tables coming up with with

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Speaker 1: beautiful conspiracy theories that are almost like like three D

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Speaker 1: chess games that played out with with poor people. And

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Speaker 1: the reality is it's a bunch of dumb fucks. Nobody's

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Speaker 1: smarter than George W. Bush. You know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: nobody's nobody's a brilliant person. But when introduced to the

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Speaker 1: opportunity to take advantage of poor people, to make money

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Speaker 1: off of those who are most vulnerable susceptible, God damn it,

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Speaker 1: do they lean in If there's an injured deer walking

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Speaker 1: on the side of the road, You goddamn right there,

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Speaker 1: gonna beat it with the back of their gun and

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Speaker 1: put it in their truck and hang that motherfucker on

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Speaker 1: the wall. Do you know what I mean? That that's

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Speaker 1: their thing. They love to see the weakest of us struggling,

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Speaker 1: and then they take advantage of it. More so so

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Speaker 1: I I say all of this to say, do I

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Speaker 1: personally believe that these corporations have cooked up a magical

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Speaker 1: poison to put out in the atmosphere and kill off

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Speaker 1: all of our people? Probably? Not. Probably, I don't think

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Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos is that savvy. He hasn't even learned to

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Speaker 1: fix his eye, folks. His eyes still fucked up, and

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Speaker 1: he has the most money, literally the most money any

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Speaker 1: human being has ever had in the history of this planet,

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Speaker 1: and he still cannot get his eye working the way

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Speaker 1: that regular eyes are meant to work. You're telling me

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Speaker 1: this motherfucker thought of COVID. I don't think so. I

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Speaker 1: think what he did think of is the fact that

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Speaker 1: a bunch of people were at home and stranded and

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Speaker 1: without communication and without resources, and his company, which he

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Speaker 1: had already sort of like laid out and had working perfectly,

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Speaker 1: was in a great position to take advantage of that.

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Speaker 1: Jeff Bezos, he's a monster. Let's not not even for

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Speaker 1: a second do I want to suggest that he's not

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Speaker 1: a monster. I just don't know if he's as intelligent

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Speaker 1: as some of the monstrosity that we sometimes attached to

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Speaker 1: these these figures. There aren't that many criminal masterminds. A

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Speaker 1: lot of these people are just sort of like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're limping, they're limping along and just taking advantage of

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Speaker 1: our us in our weakest form. Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: This didn't I didn't really get into any of his research.

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Speaker 1: He has so much, so much detailed reass he or

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Speaker 1: she has so much detailed research here about the the

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Speaker 1: thirties seven point six to percent increase that Amazon saw

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Speaker 1: in sales over over the course of end and the

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Speaker 1: the ways in which Jeff Bezos hit it all the

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Speaker 1: way into the two hundred and twenty billion dollar point,

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Speaker 1: like he's he's a he's a two hundred billionaire, and

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Speaker 1: all of this ship is very valuable information, but it

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Speaker 1: doesn't really introduce very much connective tissue to accuse this

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Speaker 1: man of cooking up COVID. That said, I think he's

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Speaker 1: cooked up a lot of fucked up things that are

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Speaker 1: maybe worse than COVID. I think there's an argument to

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Speaker 1: say that the way that uh that people are misusing

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Speaker 1: and misusing is a probably a weighted word here. The

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Speaker 1: way people are taking advantage of capitalism at this point

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Speaker 1: might be worse than than whatever could have happened with COVID.

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Speaker 1: Capitalisms kill way more people than a fucking pandemic did,

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Speaker 1: and will continue to kill a lot more people afterwards.

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Speaker 1: But that's neither here nor there. I don't know. This

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Speaker 1: didn't end up being as fun of an episode as

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Speaker 1: I imagined, and I apologize to this anonymous coward for

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Speaker 1: not giving more length to their to their very thought

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Speaker 1: out research, although probably extremely dangerous research if it were

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Speaker 1: ever to be published in a in a peer reviewed space.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't imagine that Jeff Bezos is

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Speaker 1: being chill about people accusing him of creating COVID. Either way,

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Speaker 1: if you want to accuse a billionaire of creating a

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Speaker 1: uh A world ending virus, then please send your conspiracy

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Speaker 1: theories to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. I

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Speaker 1: would love to hear from you, and as always, subscribe

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Speaker 1: to the podcast. Come on, say something nice, say something mean.

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Speaker 1: I just need more of you to say something, say something.

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Speaker 1: I'm giving up on you. It's that that classic song

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Speaker 1: that that I don't know which which white sung it,

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Speaker 1: but but I liked it. I secretly liked it quite

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Speaker 1: a bit. And maybe that means I'm part of the problem,

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Speaker 1: you know. Maybe that means I've got to do some

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Speaker 1: work on myself. Anyway, that's it, Okay, bye, bitch. Motherfucking

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Speaker 1: miny years, so many years, so motherfucking mini EPs, so

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Speaker 1: motherfucking Mini years, so many episode motherfucking Mini ever so