00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear, but you're a guess to me, you gotta come to be empty, and I said, no, guests, your own presence is presence. And I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to. 00:00:36 Speaker 2: S obey me? Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. If you're at the grocery store and the line is too long, I just want to remind people that you can frequently be checked out at the pharmacy, just depending on the size of your order. Just be polite to the pharmacist and that usually works for me. That aside, I'm very excited. We have a wonderful guest today, an incredible act or very funny improviser podcast or you name it. Lauren lapkuz Hi, Lauren welcome. 00:01:16 Speaker 3: Thank you. 00:01:17 Speaker 4: I love that tip. That's nice. 00:01:18 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've only really done that when I've been getting my prescription and then I'll throw a couple more things in there. 00:01:23 Speaker 2: Right, which still feels a little crazy. You don't need to be sick, you don't need to be getting medicine. Just march over there. They're usually not that busy, don't. 00:01:30 Speaker 3: You feel like it's kind of sad with the way it's going with like self checkout my local CVS, there's self checkouts and there's only one person working in the counter usually, and they're like, go to the self checkout. They are telling like, if you need something extra, you can come talk to me. 00:01:46 Speaker 2: But it should little does that person know that they are helping to remove themselves from the system exactly. Let me ask you at CVS. The voice of the woman on the self checkout, I've long held suspic is that Shelley Long. 00:02:01 Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's amazing. 00:02:04 Speaker 2: You know. 00:02:04 Speaker 3: That would piss me off because I feel like every commercial, everything, every voice of everything is now like some old celebrity, and it's like, can you just give someone a chance, Like here's somebody who needs There used to be like a whole market for these voice. Actors do the voice of these things, and now it's like the guy from Modern Family. 00:02:20 Speaker 4: You have to be the most famous person in the world. 00:02:22 Speaker 3: I don't like that. 00:02:23 Speaker 2: I don't understand the mentality of the consumer or the moviegoer or whoever who has to hear a celebrity voice. 00:02:32 Speaker 4: I don't I agree. It's like, what is that helping kind of familiar. 00:02:37 Speaker 3: I don't know. 00:02:37 Speaker 4: I spend the time trying to think of. 00:02:38 Speaker 3: Who it is, right, like Tie whatever Burrell from Modern Family does the orange juice Dad from Modern Family, the older guy whose name I. 00:02:47 Speaker 4: Can married with children? Yes he does. 00:02:51 Speaker 3: He has. 00:02:51 Speaker 4: Another commercial's name is el Bundy. 00:02:54 Speaker 3: I'm just like, come on, people, they've got all mine in the world that shows me on for ten years. 00:02:58 Speaker 2: What do they what are they doing with this money at this point? 00:03:01 Speaker 3: They don't know what's coming in that My belief is they have no idea how much or where and what's happening with it. 00:03:07 Speaker 4: It's just like, yeah, sure, I'll go in. 00:03:08 Speaker 2: There's some manager that oka and the money just continues to be a never ending fire, just a stream. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't make sense to me. I'm also like, I'm just I saw this commercial with Jonah Hill and Martin Scorcese. 00:03:23 Speaker 4: Have you seen this? 00:03:24 Speaker 2: No? Was it a super Bowl commercial? Because I assume it was. I didn't see it during the Super Bowl, naturally. Yeah, what is Martin Scorsese doing in a commercial for Coca Cola? That is so crazy? That is just ridiculous. And the whole premise is like Martin is texting Jonah to come to a party, and then Jonah needs an energy during coked sick and then this all reminds me of do you remember like there were maybe thirty minutes in twenty twelve when there was coke with vitamins? 00:03:55 Speaker 4: Ew, no, what was that? 00:03:57 Speaker 2: I have no idea I had this. I remember this recently, and what was anyone doing. 00:04:05 Speaker 3: That's like just trying to make people think they're being healthy, right, still not changing anything about their habits exactly. 00:04:11 Speaker 4: That's disgusting. I'm sure it tasted bad. 00:04:14 Speaker 3: I always think about crystal pepsi, which, oh yeah, of course it hooks you up because it's probably not hard to make. 00:04:20 Speaker 4: It's probably exactly the same thing. 00:04:21 Speaker 2: It's probably easier, right, they're not putting in like the brown leave the color out. 00:04:26 Speaker 4: But it makes me ill to look at. 00:04:28 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I had kind of a resurgence. 00:04:31 Speaker 4: Yeah I didn't. 00:04:32 Speaker 2: People were like buying expired crystal pepsi on eBay, and then pepsi got into the game. And then I think, because most people or soda has fallen so far, I'm sure crystal pepsi failed again. 00:04:44 Speaker 3: Yeah, I stopped making it. You're from Utah and from Utah. Yeah, can I ask if you're Mormon? 00:04:51 Speaker 2: You can absolutely ask. I grew up Mormon. Oh interesting, but as a homosexual that became complicated later life. My parents are still practicing Mormons. 00:05:03 Speaker 4: Interesting, but yeah, people anyone care that you're not? 00:05:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I'm sure my parents have feelings about that. They're still like, we still have a good relationship or whatever. But the Mormon Church makes it a little difficult for those of us who can't. 00:05:20 Speaker 4: You know, want to do anything different, do anything. 00:05:22 Speaker 3: I mean, I follow a handful of Mormon mommy bloggers that I've been reading for years. There are just I mean Stephanie Nielsen. I don't know if you've heard of her. 00:05:30 Speaker 4: I am familiar with, but nini right dialogue. 00:05:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been reading that. I've been reading that since I was like twenty one. It's been about thirteen years of following this woman. And she has five kids and they are now like some of them are eighteen today. I mean I've been following since they were little. Her whole story she was in a plane craft right, I mean, like a horrible yeah crash, I mean just like she and her husband and the pilot were the only people in the plane. The pilot passed from the accident. Her husband got out with a lot of burns, and she had like eighty percent of her body was burning then recovery. Yeah, actually, I think I started following her blog right when the crash happened to my friend had been following it and she but leading up to that, she was just like a beautiful woman who curried was like a very successful blogger, right yeah, just like her pretty family and her anthropology home. And of course, yeah, my friend was like, you got to see what happened here, and so then I started following that because her family took over the blog while she was in recovery. Oh okay, and she was in a coma for months. 00:06:30 Speaker 2: Wait and she's still doing it. She's still she goes every day. What is she blogging about? 00:06:35 Speaker 1: Oh? 00:06:35 Speaker 4: I know, everything they do every day? Everything they do. 00:06:38 Speaker 2: Is it kind of still the same thing where it's just like kind of blown out photos of people? 00:06:42 Speaker 3: The photos are better. Okay, she probably got a great iPhone or whatever, but right she has she posts about like their day to day life and what they're up to and just little random shit that's going on. I mean, nothing of importance, Like. 00:06:56 Speaker 2: Are you getting readers getting it vice tips? I mean, are they getting like a grocery store pharmacy level tip or truly. 00:07:04 Speaker 3: If anything, it's like it's it teaches you nothing. And I mean I don't even mean that in a mean way. 00:07:09 Speaker 2: It's just it's just like a weird look into somebody's life. Yeah, curated. Look, there is like. 00:07:14 Speaker 4: This website called go Me Get off My Internet. 00:07:17 Speaker 3: Have you heard of this? 00:07:17 Speaker 2: I have, and I can't remember what it is. 00:07:20 Speaker 3: It's like a forum where people just shit on bloggers. Oh perfect, So it's like every category of blog exists on this website and you click and find the people you want to shit on or just he oh, you got to check it out. So if you have a blog that you're familiar with, it's even more fun because then you can go see what everyone's saying. So on Nini. I mean people go off on Nini like every day. But like, if there's something you're like, because I don't like to write mean things online, but I don't mind seeing if someone else wrote me of course, of course, so I'll be like, oh, I have this negative opinion of what she just did. Let me see if someone else said it already and then I'll feel like validated by that. 00:07:52 Speaker 2: So I mean, obviously the plane crash, all this was horribly tragic or whatever I remember up to that point. And I think this with the most mommy bloggers, I personally found a lot of extremely irritating. Yeah, what are you getting out of it? Just is it a similar thing where it's like this weird like can't look away from how annoying? 00:08:14 Speaker 3: And yeah, and I have some I've developed like like feelings for the people. 00:08:21 Speaker 2: Right, let's say some emotion. It's like watching a TV show for a bunch of seasons. Yeah, like you care about the characters. Like I'm like invested. 00:08:27 Speaker 3: I've seen these kids grow up, so I'm like kind of curious like what they're interested in. And but the religion element is is like it's not it's like it just doesn't do anything for me because I don't relate to that. But I find it kind of fascinating, Like how seriously they take it. 00:08:44 Speaker 1: I guess. 00:08:45 Speaker 4: And is she like going hard on the religion thing. 00:08:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's it's there's a lot of religious elements to her posts. And they read the Book of Mormon from start to finish every year as a family, and so that becomes like a thing. And they have a lot of traditions and right, there's a lot about it that I think is cute. But then there's, you know, also something I'm like, I wonder if any of these kids are gay or they have feelings that are like not with this. 00:09:06 Speaker 2: Could be yeah. Wait, and all of her kids are like in high school now. 00:09:10 Speaker 3: Now one of them is like five or six? 00:09:13 Speaker 4: How many kids does she had? 00:09:14 Speaker 3: She has five? Five, she's like younger than me or something. Confusing. 00:09:18 Speaker 2: Yes, that's done so much. Step into Utah and you're like, oh, these people this is the life I want at sixty Yeah, and these people are below thirty yeah, and it throws you off. 00:09:29 Speaker 4: Do you have like friends from back home who are like doing that or they have like ten kids? I do. 00:09:33 Speaker 2: I don't know as many, don't know as many anymore. But and most of my even Mormon friends are more moderate leavers or like they're not really going hard on the lifestyle as much. But definitely people from high school who have like teenagers or whatever, And like, what is happening if I had, like if I had never come out, if I had stayed in Utah and like married a women and just been this closeted man, I would probably have like a fourteen year old I'd like sending him off to eighth grade. 00:10:05 Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my god, makes no sense on any level for me. 00:10:09 Speaker 3: No, and I could be in the same I mean it's like if I just had a kid in my early twenties that. 00:10:14 Speaker 2: We could both be like almost like adult children at this point. 00:10:19 Speaker 3: But I feel like I am an adult child. 00:10:22 Speaker 2: Of course I should not be in charge of I shouldn't be in charge of me, let alone any child. 00:10:29 Speaker 3: But it's crazy because, like I think, to a lot of the country, we sound insane. You believe we could have a nine year old? 00:10:35 Speaker 2: You're responsible show some Well, I'm sorry, I'm busy enjoying myself. I have television to watch, I have books to read, I've got friends to get dinner with. 00:10:46 Speaker 4: Yeah. I actually I. 00:10:47 Speaker 3: Have a friend who has almost one year old, and I was going to see her last night, and on my way there, I was thinking like, oh, I might say this to her. I was like so bored leading up to come over to her house that I got I was like, should just go early, like putting our baby down and stuff like I'm really bored. And then I was gonna say, do you ever get so bored leaving? And I was like, no, she doesn't get that bored. She does not have that luxury. I was sitting here, I'm going, I guess I should read this thing I've been putting off. 00:11:17 Speaker 4: Do you have any interest in having kids? 00:11:19 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:11:19 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, but yeah, it's just so interesting. I think with like our career choice, right, that stuff just gets put to the side. Yeah, until you're like fully said, it's a scary thing. It feels like it feels irresponsible to do it in a creative field before you feel like secure. 00:11:36 Speaker 4: Right, just exactly, I don't know. 00:11:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I had a realization recently that like I'm now like I'm in my thirties, so I'm past the point, or like I have friends who are starting to maybe have kids or whatever. I'm like, well, I'm probably not going to have kids, and eventually I'm going to be this nuisance friend who's like wanting to do things and they're like, oh, I'm taking kids to sucker. Yeah, and then I feel like that's going to become a real intense loneliness in my life. 00:12:04 Speaker 4: Or so you have no interest in having kids. 00:12:06 Speaker 2: I don't really. My boyfriend does, but he I mean, I was very clear upfront that it probably wasn't going to happen, so and yeah, like, also, who knows career wise what's going to happen. And I worry enough about money as is to think about paying thousands of dollars in hospital bills for a kid or totally sending them off to college or any of them. I'm like, how does anybody do this? 00:12:30 Speaker 3: I don't know. And I have some friends who are like in their late forties or fifties and stuff who don't have kids, and it seems awesome, like they're just like, oh yeah, they're just living it up. They don't seem to be disappointed by that joy. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure. I think unless your kid is the worst person in the world, it's probably the best thing. 00:12:50 Speaker 4: You could But it doesn't that suck that they could be. 00:12:52 Speaker 3: I know, that's that little ra very, that element of just like the unknown. She could go to hell, man, like that could be crazy. 00:13:00 Speaker 4: Of course, when. 00:13:00 Speaker 3: They're nine and they're like they start biting you or something, who knows, Like, who know's gonna happen? 00:13:04 Speaker 2: I just want to adopt like a twenty four year old with a master's Yes, they just need this mentorship, yeah, exactly. Just someone who needs like an older person in their life. Yeah for Christmas, right, just somebody to see around the holidays. 00:13:19 Speaker 4: Did you grow religious at all? 00:13:21 Speaker 3: No, My mom is Greek Orthodox, my dad was, like they were raised. My dad was raised Catholic and he went to Catholic school. But really, like it was not like my parents didn't really enforce any sort of religious thing. And my mom we would go to church on like Christmas and Easter whatever growing up until I started just going like I don't want to go, and then like my mom would just not fight me on it, and then we just didn't go. Yeah, but now she'll be like, and we never went to church. I'm like, you were the one who would force it, you know what I mean, Like it was it wasn't up to me. Yes, you could have changed the rules. Yeah, but I'm glad it didn't work out that way. I'm like, you know what I mean, Like, it's nice. 00:14:02 Speaker 2: Greeks love Easter. It's a big thing for Greek Easter. Yeah, what is that? 00:14:07 Speaker 3: So? I couldn't tell you a lot of the religious stuff. But I can tell you one tradition that I think is very fun, which is you take Easter eggs, hard boiled eggs that are colored, you know, and you everyone sits in a circle with their egg and you hit your egg against the person next to you, and whoever's breaks is out, and then so you keep hitting until one person has an unbroken egg, and then you win whatever the prize is. 00:14:29 Speaker 2: Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, it's really fun little gu you get to hit someone. There's the smell of eggs in there. 00:14:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's fun for anyone who wants to add that to your Easters. 00:14:37 Speaker 2: You don't have to do that. You don't have to wait tell Easter to hit. 00:14:42 Speaker 4: I don't know. That's a nice little thing you could do. 00:14:44 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:14:45 Speaker 2: Gift giving was that a big thing in your family? 00:14:47 Speaker 3: Yes? Yes, Christmas, every holiday. My mom made gifts like a very important thing, really special. I was thinking, actually, as I wrapped your gift that I brought you, Yes. 00:14:58 Speaker 2: What I mean, didn't want to say anything, but I did say, no gifts, Yeah, show up here with this beautifully wrapped gift, with this. 00:15:07 Speaker 3: It just felt inappropriate to not bring you something I work, you know, I know how to make this ribbon be uh springy like that's amazing, And that's from my mom rapping gifts and I would help her and put my finger on the ribbon while she told it, and we had I enjoyed that activity and learned how to you know, kind of rap nicely. And my mom really I think gift giving would be her love language. If you're familiar, Oh yeah, of course. 00:15:33 Speaker 2: I feel like I figured out mine a while ago and then immediately forgot same. 00:15:37 Speaker 3: I don't remember what mine is either. I think it's quality time. Yeah, there's like, oh is service one? Yeah, I think service might be mine. I think I like that too. I feel like all of them. Actually, if you want to give me gifts, hang out and write chores for me. 00:15:50 Speaker 2: Anything that just improves my life in any way, or that you're showing me some level of attention, yeah, I'm happy, happy to have it. 00:15:57 Speaker 4: Was gift giving big in your family? Yeah, I mean I. 00:16:01 Speaker 2: Think, well, let's say, let's say like a normal American amount where you would get gifts on your birthday and Christmas. 00:16:09 Speaker 4: And did you get like big things? 00:16:11 Speaker 2: Was it kind of like Christmas you would get like a big item a big ticket item. 00:16:15 Speaker 3: What was like one that you loved when you were a care. 00:16:18 Speaker 2: I mean, I think this is just about any male my age. The Nintendo sixty. 00:16:22 Speaker 3: Four of course, yes, my brother got that. 00:16:25 Speaker 4: What about you? 00:16:26 Speaker 3: I got a TV one year from my room, which was the best thing ever. And that's when I would like watch Conan as like. It kind of like was really critical formative. Yeah. 00:16:39 Speaker 2: Was it like a TV VCR combo. 00:16:41 Speaker 3: No, it was just a big one, you know, a small size but chunky white TV that got like five channels, right, and it was great. 00:16:51 Speaker 4: How old were you when you got it? 00:16:52 Speaker 3: I think I was like in fourth grade maybe, Oh that's a great fourth grade. Yeah, you feel like the king of the cast. Oh I felt amazing. My brother got one too, And. 00:17:02 Speaker 2: Your parents did not want you in there watching their TV. 00:17:05 Speaker 3: We honestly just watched so much TV that I think it was just like, well, well they like this. 00:17:10 Speaker 2: We know this is something that we're doing, and we all like to do this. 00:17:13 Speaker 3: We watched TV together every night, like, and we would pile into our small den and watch Seinfeld or you know whatever and stuff. 00:17:21 Speaker 2: Oh, what a beautiful thing. I'm so jealous of people who grew up in homes that watch good television. 00:17:29 Speaker 4: Yeah, what did you guys watch Home Improvement? 00:17:31 Speaker 1: Oh? 00:17:32 Speaker 2: We watched that, but that was it, so we didn't get Seinfeld none of this. 00:17:38 Speaker 3: I mean I watched everything, but I yeah, Home Improvement. Someone was just talking about this on a podcast and they were talking about an episode of Home Improvement where Tim the tool man Taylor makes his bathroom into like his man cave and the toilet is like a lazy boy, and then he orders a pizza and he like the pizza guy that. I don't know what leads this. He's like, I'm in my bathroom and then they hang up on him because it's so gross. 00:18:03 Speaker 4: Huh. 00:18:03 Speaker 3: But like the idea of like shitting into a pizza lazy boy and then eating a pizza, it's like that lazy boy is covered in fecal. 00:18:12 Speaker 4: That's a revolted. That character is the worst. 00:18:17 Speaker 3: Absolute my god, he's I mean, he's a misogynistic like asshole. 00:18:21 Speaker 2: And then poor Jill, poor common sense Jill is standing there and she's kind of colored as. 00:18:27 Speaker 4: The nag of the fan ry. Yeah, she had no chance to not be. 00:18:30 Speaker 2: And then he's off like hitting on Pam Anderson or something Meanwhile, the oldest boy is growing a ponytail. 00:18:38 Speaker 3: And the middle one became goth Or. 00:18:41 Speaker 2: The little one JTT did not become att is the. 00:18:44 Speaker 3: Middle one, but he's smaller than the little one. So confused. 00:18:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, where's he now? I was just, what is the situation with him? 00:18:53 Speaker 3: I'm I don't know. I remember he went to Northwestern. I'm from Evanston. I think I think this is true. This might just be like folklore that I like have attached my house. But there was one point where a car parked in from my house and it had license plate JTT, and I thought, my god, it. 00:19:10 Speaker 4: Had to be him. 00:19:10 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, he's an absolutely insane person if that's him. 00:19:15 Speaker 3: But maybe it was his mom. Yeah, so we went to north so we did. I think that might not be true. You know, I don't know what I think that. 00:19:22 Speaker 2: You know, we've said it on a podcast, so now, yeah, nor he quit the show early. I remember he like left and they like wrote him off and like he's going to another country or something, which felt he say. 00:19:34 Speaker 3: What do you think about child actors trying to break away from it? 00:19:38 Speaker 4: I feel like you write it out that's. 00:19:39 Speaker 2: My Oh yeah, of course you're in it. Listen, you made the choice or Mommy made the choice. 00:19:46 Speaker 4: Just do it. We've all fallen in love with you. 00:19:49 Speaker 3: The problem is like, when I mean thinking about money, it's like you're basically set. So you should just keep going until the train runs off the track. 00:19:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, and then open a small business with the cash. 00:20:02 Speaker 3: Apparently the oldest brother opened up Buffalo Wild and he started Buffalo Wild. 00:20:06 Speaker 2: That cannot be true. It's exactly like someone who would own a buffalo I might be doing like telephone of information. I'm like just giving you like the weirdest but of. 00:20:15 Speaker 4: Course it's now true as mentioned. 00:20:18 Speaker 2: Wow, Zachary Tyyler, Yeah, Zachary ty Bryant, Yeah. 00:20:24 Speaker 3: Is now the proud owner of a bw W or the entire chain or something he started. 00:20:30 Speaker 2: Okay, well, you can say a lot of things on a podcast and they become true, but he is not the CEO. 00:20:35 Speaker 4: Of Buffalo Wild. 00:20:36 Speaker 3: Wind out later and then. 00:20:38 Speaker 2: We'll see what is that's my new destination. I've never been there before me neither. I feel like it's discussed. 00:20:44 Speaker 3: I don't want to go there. I don't think I can eat like most things like that anymore. But growing up I would eat like all sorts of just throw garbage in the pit. 00:20:53 Speaker 4: So that was the ideal diet, right, But now I'm like, feel second, I'm not. 00:20:58 Speaker 2: I just feel like I'm vicious of everything going on there. I feel like there's some connection to Pizza Hut that makes me even wow more scared. 00:21:06 Speaker 3: They're like a crossover. I feel like there might be, But they have one of those like half and half. 00:21:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I've seen one of those. But I could be wrong, and in that case, I apologize to both parties and to Zach, But yeah, I'm not into that. I don't mind a buffalo wing about once every four years, you had buffalo sauce. 00:21:26 Speaker 3: No you don't like it, but you don't like it. I would eat like, you know, buffalo cauliflower, Like, I'll eat that. Yeah, that's fine. 00:21:32 Speaker 2: If you put buffalo sauce on something, I will eat it. It can't be spicy. 00:21:36 Speaker 4: No, you don't like a spicy No, okay, that's. 00:21:39 Speaker 3: A little spicy. 00:21:40 Speaker 4: What are you eating? I'm eating? 00:21:43 Speaker 3: You know? 00:21:44 Speaker 4: I actually feel okay. 00:21:45 Speaker 3: So I used to be extremely picky growing up, Okay, and we ate a lot of fast food in my house, So I would eat a lot of that, but I also ate the same lunch every day from like kindergarten through senior year of high school. What which was a variation on like a peanut butter sandwich with no jelly okay, chip, bag of chips, a sort of dessert like a Hostess cupcake or cookies or something, and then like a coke or a juice box. 00:22:08 Speaker 2: It's a beautiful little lunch, a classic lunch. For thirteen years, it was just like a stable, consistent choice. But you've broken away from that. 00:22:19 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:22:19 Speaker 3: I think as I in my twenties, like I think being a picky eater started to become like just really annoying because people don't really love. 00:22:27 Speaker 4: That, Like, oh I live with someone who's a picky okay, yeah, how do you feel? 00:22:30 Speaker 1: Like? 00:22:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think people start to get annoyed, like with you, like if you just won't go with the flow. 00:22:35 Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, So I. 00:22:36 Speaker 3: Was always the person like I needed something very specific on the menu or like you know, I kind of like, I mean it would be like chicken fingers and fries. By the way, It's not like I was like I had some like salad that I loved. Yeah, it was like gross kid food. But really over the last few years, I would say maybe the last like five to six years, I've really changed And I like eat sushi now, which I never would have touched, and like pretty much I can go to any rest I mean no, without a doubt. I can go to any restaurant and be fine and not care and not feel like there's any problem with it. That's a beautiful skill to have. I think it feels amazing. It's really liberating. So I used to panic about going out to dinner, of course, because I'm like, what am I gonna do? Yeah, and I'm gonna look dumb if I get something like weird, It's like, no one would we eat now? 00:23:18 Speaker 2: And so what was the initial step away from that? How did you do it? Was it scary or was it just like it kind of slowly chipped away, slowly chipped away. 00:23:26 Speaker 3: I think it was like I kind of just started eating, like I'll just go, let me just try that thing that I've been afraid of and just try it. And if I didn't like it, then final least I know that I tried it. 00:23:35 Speaker 4: It didn't kill you. 00:23:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, And so it was kind of like slowly trying new things and then I started dating someone who was like, you gotta try sushi, like just try it, and then I loved it. But it was so shocking to me because it looks crazy and as someone who's like a picky eater, like I don't want to eat put that weird thing in my mouth, but like loved it. And then that kind of broke open the whole seal, I think, because like once I was eating like weird looking raw fish. Why am I saying no to like this like Mexican food? 00:24:04 Speaker 4: Of course? 00:24:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, I need to get you in touch with my boyfriend. Yeah, it's truly meatballs, Hamburger's chicken fingers. 00:24:12 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I relate to that so hard. 00:24:14 Speaker 2: I feel like that's essentially what he's eating. 00:24:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I mean left my own device is like if I'm cooking spaghetti is like a main Oh sure, like it's just easy and I like it and whatever. I'll eat that all the time. 00:24:25 Speaker 4: Now, what your mom is Greek? Yeah? Do you like Greek food? 00:24:30 Speaker 3: Not? 00:24:30 Speaker 1: Really? 00:24:30 Speaker 4: Wow? No, none of it? Some of it, Like there are certain I like meat and stuff. 00:24:36 Speaker 3: So like that opens up a big like a chick totally like Euros and like, oh I love a hero. Yeah, like, you know, there's a lot of good chicken stuff, but it's not like I would like choose to go to a Greek rust. 00:24:51 Speaker 4: Okay. 00:24:51 Speaker 3: I like Italian food the most. 00:24:53 Speaker 4: Oh Okay, I. 00:24:55 Speaker 3: Like Chinese food. I like Japanese food. But like your people, no, my mom wasn't like cooking Greek food tup, so I think that would be another element that's missed. Okay, we were eating, like I mean, not to throw shit at my mom, but it was like bird King and McDonald's and like you know, spaghetti and mom, you could have changed everything. She's relatively picky too. Though I realized this, it took me like into my adult years to understand that, like a lot of the reasons why I had never tried any like very obvious things like blueberries until I have a little belt, was because my mom. 00:25:24 Speaker 4: Is afraid of blueberries. 00:25:26 Speaker 3: She's like, I don't want to eat that. So there's like so many things my mom won't eat, and that's why I'm like, this is where it all comes from. 00:25:33 Speaker 4: Like I don't like jelly. She doesn't like jelly, Like I just don't know if I like jelly. 00:25:38 Speaker 2: Wow, So this I mean, I feel like you do it twenty three and me, and it's going to go back generations to somebody who like four hundred years ago wouldn't eat a blueberry, and it's just been this avalanche of just eating peanut butter sand or something. 00:25:51 Speaker 4: I did do twenty three and me. Have you done that? I haven't. What were your results? 00:25:54 Speaker 3: They were pretty fairly interesting. There's like it tells you a lot of stuff, like if you are likely to ease in the sunlight, and like what I Oh. 00:26:03 Speaker 4: I didn't realize that there was this element. 00:26:05 Speaker 3: There was like there are a lot of like weird categories like if you would like sweeter salty, and like it was right about most of them, or like if you're likely to have blue eyes or brown eyes or. 00:26:14 Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. Are you sure this wasn't a horoscope? 00:26:16 Speaker 3: Or yeah, it did tell me my birthday even though I submitted that. 00:26:21 Speaker 1: No. 00:26:21 Speaker 3: There's like it's like cheek dimples, like fifty two percent chance you do not have dimples, forty eight percent chance you have. 00:26:27 Speaker 4: That's fifty five fifty fifty. 00:26:29 Speaker 3: Don't report that sixteen percent chance that I have sixteen percent chance that I have a left chin. I don't have a cleft chin though, right, okay. Sixty one percent chance I've never had dan druff. That's feels true to me. Eighty six percent chance you have detached ear lobes. I do have detached ear lobes. 00:26:44 Speaker 4: What. Ninety three percent chance you have wet, sticky earwax? 00:26:47 Speaker 3: I do, sorry everyone. Fifty percent chance of blue eyes, that's accurate. Fifty nine percent chance your ring finger is longer than your index finger. 00:26:55 Speaker 4: That's true. Oh yeah it is, Yeah, mine's longer. 00:26:58 Speaker 3: Seventy three percent chance you have few any freckles. That's true. You know it goes I had no idea, Like how long has it goes on and on? 00:27:06 Speaker 4: This is insane. It's kind of fun. 00:27:08 Speaker 2: So it's not just your ancestry. It's like, yeah, it tells you all about your DNA is doing to you. 00:27:13 Speaker 3: And it tells you about like your predisposition or whatever for like your chance of like certain diseases. 00:27:18 Speaker 4: Like oh wow, you are like. It tells you if you have the BRACA gene. Did it give you any scary results? Was there anything? 00:27:24 Speaker 2: No? 00:27:24 Speaker 3: Thankfully, But I was afraid to click on them because you have to be like you. I agree to this information, like and this is not from a doctor, and this you know, it's kind of like it has all these warnings and I was kind of afraid to click it, but. 00:27:37 Speaker 4: Open that door. H oh good great? 00:27:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, was there anything in particular you were afraid you might have? 00:27:43 Speaker 3: No, it was just like the idea of like any of them, right, Like, I'm just like I don't want any of these. 00:27:48 Speaker 4: Sure, A wow, that's terrifying. 00:27:51 Speaker 2: I know I haven't done it. I am going back to Mormons. I feel like they're kind of the original family history people. They did all the you know, they're doing a bunch of nonsense with that, so my family has a decent sense of where it comes from or whatever. Somehow I've managed to ignore it completely. I have like a vague, very vague idea Scottish something. Yeah, and that's as far as I can go. 00:28:19 Speaker 3: Well, it's kind of interesting because my parents both did it, but they did ancestry dot com or whatever the other one is, OK, and they then I had their results, so I was like, well, that's what I am, right, But then doing this like it kind of breaks down the actual percentage that you received from each so it's kind of cool. 00:28:37 Speaker 2: Well, maybe it's time for me to do it. We did it for our dog and that was worthwhile. 00:28:42 Speaker 4: Would you find out cleft. 00:28:43 Speaker 2: Chin dandruff is all over the place? No, she was actually, I mean she's a rescue and something that I didn't realize that what would happen when I rescued a dog. Well, I didn't rescue. I'm now claiming this. My boyfriend did about a month before we met. But you're part of that. Yeah, that's neither here nor there. We got her as like a one year old or whatever, so she was basically full grown. But every six months I seriously consider hiring a private investigator to find photos of her as a puppy. Oh all I want in the world to see pictures that this dog as a puppy. But we got the DNA results back and she is a full American bulldog, which is crazy. What so now I'm just like looking constantly looking up puppy, Yeah, pictures of American bullet dog. 00:29:31 Speaker 4: Can't you just tell? Well, no, I guess not. Is there a wide range of what that can look like a. 00:29:38 Speaker 2: Little bit and I think at the rescue they said she's American bulldog mix, and so that immediately threw us off. So we were always making assumptions or whatever, and I don't know anything about dogs, so I was like, oh, part pitbull, part boxer, just taking just saying things that had no basis in reality. 00:29:55 Speaker 3: Well, my dog, I know her exact lineage because I got her from like basically, someone knew I was looking for a dog and their groomer or someone dropped off like a load of puppies they were just giving away. They knew the mom and dad of the puppies, okay, and it's one parent was a Morky, which is a Yorkie Maltese. 00:30:14 Speaker 2: Okay, and one was a Chiuahua. Oh my god, this must be an adorable animal. 00:30:18 Speaker 4: It's so cute. I'll show you. 00:30:19 Speaker 3: But I was kind of like, it's kind of annoying to know that because now if someone asks, she's a Yorki Maltese Chiuahua, it's just annoying to like know that. 00:30:28 Speaker 2: To have to say, I do feel like we've turned a corner as far as oh. 00:30:34 Speaker 4: She's got like a little chicken. 00:30:36 Speaker 3: Legs, Yeah, probably. 00:30:38 Speaker 4: That's incredible. 00:30:39 Speaker 2: It's like it's almost like another a dog wearing a big dog costume. 00:30:43 Speaker 3: I've never thought about it because I'm so used to it. What's her name, Franny. 00:30:47 Speaker 4: Oh, that's a cute dog name Edie. 00:30:49 Speaker 1: Cute. 00:30:50 Speaker 2: She's very cute. But she has started eating just a lot of things. She I had a nine page outline. I was working on a show and eight the entire thing, and there was no evidence to the point that I was I felt like I had lost my eyes, like maybe I'm just going insane, and where would I have missed places? But then it eventually revealed itself on walks, you know, Oh my god, she ate the entire thing. And then she recently ate ten protein bars. Gee, she's gone. Something's happening. And I don't know what. We put her on a diet, so maybe that's part for something. 00:31:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, eating a nine page report, that's like outline, that's really upsetting. 00:31:31 Speaker 2: It's very odd and to leave no trace because I'm used to, like our family dog growing up, like would rip things apart and E would know, right, But she just like she did lawn mowered through this thing and it was in her stomach. 00:31:43 Speaker 3: And did you have no other way to access this inform? 00:31:46 Speaker 2: I fortunately had a way to access most of it, but I had like network notes on it and stuff which just were which I didn't tell my boss at the time, so I just kind of guessed at it. Unfortunately things worked out. But yeah, my dog's trying to just destroy my career. Oh yeah, that's where I am. My dog doesn't eat stuff, thankfully. She ate like when she was a puppy, she ate through my Christmas lights cord that was plugged into the wall. That just pissed me off because they were attached to the tree like it was like they came. 00:32:13 Speaker 4: With the right that's kind of like rodent behavior. 00:32:17 Speaker 3: Yeah, but then she never did anything like that again, so I don't know. 00:32:19 Speaker 4: Lesson. 00:32:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe she got electrocute. 00:32:22 Speaker 4: Got zad. 00:32:32 Speaker 2: Well, look, we've talked, we've we've mentioned it, we've circled this thing. You did bring a gift I did. I feel like it would be terrible to send you away without opening this and see, so let's give it a shut. It's a wonderful little package. I described it earlier. It's probably I'm not good at estimating. My spatial skills are bad, but maybe eight inches long by five inches accurate in a very fun little wrap, which is like a These are faces I want to. 00:33:02 Speaker 3: See It kind of looks like electrical sockets to me, and it's from Ikia wrapping paper for my Kia. 00:33:07 Speaker 4: These are all Swedish electrical sock. That's probably what it is. 00:33:10 Speaker 1: There. 00:33:10 Speaker 4: You go, okay, I'm opening it up. You're gonna love it. 00:33:17 Speaker 2: Oh what is happening here? Thank you cards? This is a psychotic thing to bring someone who's but also the perfect. I feel like there's some other real world equivalent of giving somebody a gift that you will be able to just give them a thank you. Mean, but you've given me thank you, a ten count thank you card. It says thank you so very much, Lauren. Tell me why you brought me this? 00:33:48 Speaker 3: Well, So, okay, so your podcast is called I said no gifts, which, of course I know you don't want gifts, but I assume other people are bringing you gifts. And it's just. 00:33:57 Speaker 4: A really useful gift for you. 00:33:59 Speaker 3: I thought immediately, who put that to use by thanking your previous gift? 00:34:02 Speaker 2: This is incredible. This is a really an outstanding. 00:34:06 Speaker 4: I don't want to thank you card. Okay, so you're. 00:34:08 Speaker 2: Not getting it, ok because you've now given me. Now I have to give people cards. This is a new element of the job for me which I was not planning on. But to have thank you cards is actually it's something I never think to buy. 00:34:22 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm obsessed with stationary, and so this gift actually does have meaning to me, and that I think sending cards and notes is very important and I love collecting. I buy stationary and pens and paper and stuff all the time and stickers, and I have many types of thank you cards at my disposal, okay, at all times, and I have I try to stock up on birthday cards every holiday so that when the time comes, I just have something. 00:34:49 Speaker 2: Right now, Like with birthday cards, where are you buying birthday cards? 00:34:52 Speaker 3: So a great tip is Trader Joe's because they're a dollar right now. Because I think it's kind of disgusting how expensive cards are. 00:34:59 Speaker 2: They've gone to like ten dollars. You know, it's crazyrus. The Pirates is out of control with their price. But I'll also tell you what they're out of is business. They're going out of business. I saw the one is closing Studio City. 00:35:10 Speaker 4: It's funny. 00:35:11 Speaker 2: I guess they're just going to be like a at Target, this sort. 00:35:14 Speaker 3: Of thing that makes more sense for them. It's too much what they're trying to do. They're charging eight dollars a card because it has a gemstart. Well, they're selling pop up books exactly. No, when he wants this, I don't need that. You don't need it. But I do think a cheap card is great. These are from Target. I think they're probably like four dollars for a pack, and then you get like I like to buy like birthday cards in bulk. I think it's like a pack of cute ones. I might spend a little more on like a rifle paper company or something. Right ten, Yeah, this company, Oh, they do really cute cards. But like then they'll get like ten of them at once, and it's like, well, now that's worth the sixteen dollars. 00:35:47 Speaker 2: Right ten for sixteen doesn't seem It's probably not like pirates lelah Okay, Well now we're headed towards that territory, so you're just stucking up your non stuff Trader Joe's. Something I really appreciate about Trader Joe's is they're pretty minimal about what they're writing on the card. 00:36:06 Speaker 3: I don't need to have a card that has a whole long message inside. Mother, you have always been the one. But it's like, think it's so weird. 00:36:12 Speaker 2: Leave that out, leave jokes out. Just put the message happy birthday and happy annivers leave some. 00:36:18 Speaker 3: Room for some creativity. And now, if you're giving a card, don't just sign the card. Write a message, yeah, something nice, like oh my god, I hate when people just sign them. And then what are we doing here, You're just spending money. 00:36:28 Speaker 2: To give me trash? Yeah, something that's literally nothing. Yeah right, I mean usually the card is the most thoughtful part of the gift for. 00:36:36 Speaker 4: Me, should be Yeah. 00:36:37 Speaker 2: I try to leave some level of message in every card. 00:36:41 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:36:42 Speaker 2: But I guess maybe maybe we're the aliens here. Maybe the rest of America is like Hallmark, please write my Mama poem. 00:36:51 Speaker 3: I mean that's true, because we're interested in writing and sure stuff. So, like, you have a natural tendency to have something funny you want to put in the card or whatever, something to say, something you want to say. I guess it's true that most people probably don't want to have to exert that extra effort. I don't know. 00:37:08 Speaker 2: I feel like a natural human thing to do is to say how you feel. 00:37:14 Speaker 3: Just you know what, if you're out there and you don't know, let's give a few tips. I think inside joke classic. Of course, it could be I just sent my Grandma and inside joke and her Valentine that I sent her in the mail, which I do send Valentines. 00:37:26 Speaker 4: Oh that's wonderful. 00:37:27 Speaker 3: I like doing that. But I think you could write a little memory of the person, like, oh, one of my favorite memories with you is like the time we did this. It doesn't have to be like that special, but people really will like, oh, it's very touching. 00:37:40 Speaker 2: You have no idea, yeah, so yeah, just share a little extra something, and you know, if the occasion calls fort say I love you. 00:37:50 Speaker 4: That's nice too. Everybody likes to hear that. It's nice write. 00:37:54 Speaker 2: Them a card, say something nice, just a little effort. So you're sending Valentines some things, giving cards? 00:38:00 Speaker 3: Okay? 00:38:00 Speaker 4: On Halloween cards? Wow, what is a Halloween card? 00:38:04 Speaker 2: Actually? I need to know what a Thanksgiving card is? 00:38:07 Speaker 3: First? 00:38:07 Speaker 4: What are you who? Are you sending them to? Relatives distant? 00:38:11 Speaker 3: You know, people far away Okay that I don't get to see for the holiday. 00:38:16 Speaker 4: Maybe a friend if I feel like it. 00:38:18 Speaker 3: But usually just like Grandma, for sure, Grandma really expects the cards. So I send her card first and foremost, and then my family and then aunts and stuff. 00:38:28 Speaker 2: So how many cards total are you sending on like Thanksgiving? 00:38:32 Speaker 4: I would say maximum six? 00:38:34 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, but I'll buy a pack, right and they will say like I'm grateful for you something like that, and then you just send like I wish we could be together, blah blah blah, that kind of thing. And so then Halloween just boo, yeah, it's a spooky kind of like have a spooky you know, it's a it's a sillier one, right, Yeah, Well, I have nephews, I send them cards and stuff. 00:38:57 Speaker 2: How many cards totally? I mean what other holiday, Let's say Christmas. 00:39:01 Speaker 3: Probably, so I do Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter. Okay, then we're getting into what summer months, there's not really anything. 00:39:10 Speaker 2: Sob oh, your god is the fourth of July and if you're sending a fourth of July, I don't I want to tell you, that. 00:39:14 Speaker 4: Would be I'm proud you're an American. I don't know. 00:39:20 Speaker 3: When we jump to Halloween, right, then we're at Thanksgiving and the. 00:39:24 Speaker 2: Okay, that's like six six So you're sending probably fifty cards a year in the middle of Actually, this feels you're keeping a postal service fully in business. Birthdays. Yeah, I mean I wouldn't complain. If I got a Thanksgiving card, I would be thrown probably initially, and I would accept it. But you're kind of, I mean, a real ray of sunshine, and. 00:39:46 Speaker 3: You're I think getting mail is so fun. 00:39:49 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, of course. 00:39:50 Speaker 3: So that's part of why I like to do it and put stickers on them and like, because mail is so boring. 00:39:54 Speaker 2: Often, like I love to get a nice, nice little piece of mail. Think the most memorable piece of mail I got from Jake Weisman years and years ago. I got a kind of anonymous looking envelope, just no return of dress. I opened it up. It was kind of puffy. I opened it up and it was a Yamica. It's sent in a regular business envelope. 00:40:19 Speaker 4: Oh my god. 00:40:19 Speaker 3: That's fun. 00:40:20 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:40:20 Speaker 4: So what was that for? 00:40:22 Speaker 1: That was? 00:40:23 Speaker 2: I think just to throw me off. You just kind of give my life some level of uncertainty. And it did, and I, as far as I know, I still own it. 00:40:32 Speaker 4: But that's fun. To do more of that sending random things, Yeah, to just. 00:40:36 Speaker 2: Get something truly non non holiday related, just in the middle. I mean, maybe that's around July for you because you do have that dry spell. 00:40:44 Speaker 3: I do there's something going on. I yeah, that's a good that's a good ideas really confused. 00:40:51 Speaker 2: Yeah, people have no idea what's going on at that point. But that's fine. That's what that's the element of that. Yeah, I don't know. I'm very bad at thanking, sending thank you cards. 00:41:03 Speaker 4: I feel stressed by this gift. 00:41:04 Speaker 2: I'm not stressed by it because I think the problem is that I never have thank you cards. Yeah, that the idea of like having to go buy them. But if I have them at the handy, is that something something people say? 00:41:14 Speaker 4: It works for me. It sounds real. 00:41:15 Speaker 2: I think that makes sense. People know what I'm talking about. If I receive any criticism, I'm going to freak out. 00:41:22 Speaker 1: No. 00:41:22 Speaker 2: If I have them, I'll definitely write a thank you card. Yeah, but if I don't, I'm grateful. 00:41:28 Speaker 3: You know what's funny is when I when you first opened this gift, you said it was like an insane gift to give somebody, which it is. But I have done this before my cousin when she was graduating college and she's younger than me, like nine years are going to be. 00:41:41 Speaker 4: I gave her a. 00:41:42 Speaker 3: Bag of like cards because I was like, you're gonna have to write shit to people, and she was going high school and she was going to college. I was like, you're going to be writing to all the people who gave you gifts, and you're gonna be going to college where you're going to be lonely, and you're gonna want something to do when you're gonna write letters people, and she I sort of I didn't get I never got a single. 00:41:58 Speaker 2: I was gonna ask, Okay, this this person is a bad person. I hope she's not getting any more cards from you. 00:42:05 Speaker 3: I have never done it again. I mean I do send her cards back. Oh, I should be very grateful. Honestly, I've regretted the gift ever since because I thought, Wow, was that a crazy gift because she didn't ever send me one, which makes me think anyone, which makes me think she just kind of threw them in the closet. 00:42:21 Speaker 4: She probably threw them away. And plus I. 00:42:23 Speaker 3: Also gave a gift card with that. It wasn't like it was the only thing I give her an incredible gift to give her. This was a cousin. 00:42:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, my cousins aren't getting alike on Instagram. I'm giving them nothing, and you're out there like setting her off onail. 00:42:39 Speaker 3: She's younger. It's like I want to like kind of like set an example, give a gift, and like this is what you should do, and like. 00:42:44 Speaker 2: I wonder if that gift should have waited until she graduated from college when she had a little bit more under her belt. 00:42:50 Speaker 4: Look, she's back in grad school. Now she do again. 00:42:52 Speaker 2: Oh there you go. Give her another chance. Don't give up on her yet. 00:42:56 Speaker 4: I have. I hope she hears the and I want. 00:43:01 Speaker 3: Do you hear this? You show me a card in the mail? 00:43:03 Speaker 4: That's all. 00:43:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, send your poor cousin a card. Do you get cards from other people? 00:43:09 Speaker 3: I do, not, as bananas i'd like I do, though. My grandma always sends me cards. That's the main one. And then sometimes some of my aunts will, But that's kind of tapered off now that I have nephews who are little and they. 00:43:18 Speaker 4: They're getting the attention, of course, but I. 00:43:21 Speaker 3: Will get it sometimes for my sister in law because now she knows that's a meaningful communication style for me. 00:43:26 Speaker 4: She'll send it on behalf. 00:43:27 Speaker 3: Of my nephews or from her as like a thank you for something I've done, so I really appreciate it. 00:43:32 Speaker 4: Just like a very healthy family dynamic for that, I. 00:43:35 Speaker 3: Think relatively, Yeah, there's I'm sure there's a bunch of And do you just have the one sibling brother? Okay, how about you? I've got three. I've got two older brothers and a younger sister. And are you in touch often with my sister? Absolutely? We talk maybe once a week. 00:43:52 Speaker 2: She has two daughters now who are getting the bulk of the gifts and this sort of thing. Oldest brother and not that often other brother occasionally. Isn't that interesting with siblings? 00:44:06 Speaker 3: How like you have I mean I only have the one, but from my friends, you have multiple siblings. You have like these totally different dynamics with each other. 00:44:13 Speaker 2: Oh it's weird when you become when you're all adults and you're just like, oh, that's just another adult in the world that we just happen to share the same gene. 00:44:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I know, may not have stuff in common with you or. 00:44:24 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, we don't have anything to talk about except for like the fights we would get in as kids or whatever. But yeah, I'm like I'm friends with my sister. 00:44:33 Speaker 3: That's nice. 00:44:34 Speaker 2: And then I'm brothers with my brothers. Yeah yeah, are you friendly with your brothers? 00:44:40 Speaker 4: Yeah? 00:44:40 Speaker 3: We get along, well, we've always gotten along. We don't like talk on the phone. That's just not that's never been a thing we do. We text, okay, and we are on a chain, me and my husband and then my brother and his wife are on a group chain that we often will write on okay, And I like that dynamic. I kind of like a group text. 00:44:58 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a good group text is uh my, I've never been on a good group text with my family. 00:45:05 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:45:05 Speaker 2: Those are always they're not. Nobody seems happy in them all. 00:45:11 Speaker 3: My mum will start them with like nine people and it's like it's the group is too random. 00:45:16 Speaker 2: Yes, and then the core we need a focused mission. Yeah. 00:45:21 Speaker 4: Yeah. 00:45:21 Speaker 2: I whenever I'm in a group text with my family, I'm just immediately I don't we're all bringing a weird energy to it. And I mean I think that speaks to just our communication in general, about our communication in general. But yeah, I guess you're lucky. Yeah it works out, that's okay. 00:45:39 Speaker 3: Now, you got married pretty recent, Yeah, like we've been we got married a year ago. 00:45:44 Speaker 2: Okay, so I assume you received gifts for. 00:45:47 Speaker 4: This we did. It was interesting. 00:45:49 Speaker 3: It's my second marriage, so I didn't have like a registry or something. Okay, and I'm hat a small wedding, but we one thing I think is interesting and it's not I It's totally fine. 00:46:00 Speaker 4: But not everyone brought a gift. 00:46:01 Speaker 3: Oh and I felt like, even though I didn't say I said no gifts, you know what I mean, it wasn't It wasn't exactly like that. 00:46:07 Speaker 4: I didn't write anything about the gifts. 00:46:09 Speaker 3: I just didn't. 00:46:10 Speaker 4: There was no registry, but I didn't says the assumption. We are getting messed. You know, it's normal to right. 00:46:16 Speaker 3: There are a handful of people who didn't bring even a card, and I found it interesting. But there's this one element to the situation that makes it a mystery. So my friend, my best friend from childhood, made a had everyone emailed everyone who was invited. It was like fifty people to write a card for each year anniversary. 00:46:34 Speaker 4: Okay. So my belief, what I'm thinking. 00:46:36 Speaker 3: Might happen is that a year twenty, I open up and there's a hundred bucks from someone who din't give me a gift, you know what I mean, Like, I'm like, there might that might be. 00:46:42 Speaker 2: A thing, which could I mean, if things go badly, you might need that hundred bucks. 00:46:46 Speaker 3: I might be glad that it's there, but I'm like kind of like, let's see. 00:46:49 Speaker 4: How that plays out. 00:46:50 Speaker 3: Wow, that's yeah, And maybe the card that they brought was that card and so they didn't consider that. 00:46:55 Speaker 2: I just didn't like even think oh interesting. 00:46:58 Speaker 3: So I don't know. So I can't really be mad at anymore, right, but I do think it's weird you have to bring and gift to a wedding if you're this is my belief, if you if the person is like really rich, it does throw things off. I'm not that person, but I have been to weddings where the person is really rich and I'm like, what do they want a hundred bucks from me? I don't know. This is kind of mirror but so you can get something weird for them or like I had friends like have a painting made of me, like from someone that they knew who was a good artist. So that was a cool game. Yeah that's very yeah, and I'm sure it wasn't that expensive. I love it, though it hangs up in my house, and it's like great. 00:47:31 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think with like a rich person, you're just like you just get them something that's going to throw them off, something that's strange, because otherwise it's like you might as well just I mean, you're essentially not getting them anything. If you get them that's just like a nice gift totally because it's something I probably already have in their giant mansion. 00:47:49 Speaker 4: You could get it, no problem. Yeah, it is weird. 00:47:51 Speaker 3: I feel like as I get older, I'm more inclined to give a weirder present. But when I was younger, it was like right off the registry or something that just. 00:48:01 Speaker 2: Cash sure, something that like through college, h friends and I would get, which I think is a good wedding gift is we would all pitch in to buy a kitchen aid mixer, which I think is an incredible thing to happen. 00:48:15 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a really nice gift. 00:48:17 Speaker 2: And but since then I'll just go to the registry and find whatever thoughtless nonsense. 00:48:23 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:48:24 Speaker 2: The weirdest thing I've seen on a wedding registry somebody requested an Xbox on their registry and I remember thinking, this is your birthday party, just do whatever you want. No, you don't just know. They need to be things that you use in your life. 00:48:38 Speaker 3: Your wife might want to act that she's not playing that well, I don't know. 00:48:44 Speaker 2: If it's twenty twenty, she could be a gamer, she could be I guess what it was. I thinking it's maybe it isn't the husband. Maybe this wife wanted to play Halo. Yeah yeah, but uh no, that's inappropriate. 00:48:58 Speaker 3: Sometimes people put weird shit on there, and it's like a little crazy. I've seen people like where you know, I've been invited to a few weddings, like through actually this is kind of interesting through people who know me from like podcasts. I've been invited to weddings from like a fan, a listener. Sure, and I will send a gift. Actually, you do. 00:49:14 Speaker 2: Happen to out of control as a gift gift or this is insane. I had no idea, but. 00:49:20 Speaker 3: I've been I look at some of these registries and I'm like, some of the things people put on these things are so expensive that it's like, what do you think is happening here? Like some two thousand dollars thing or something. It's like what, who? Who's giving you? 00:49:34 Speaker 2: That is like buying a lottery ticket is like, well, maybe somebody will buy some like expensive ass chair or something. 00:49:41 Speaker 4: I'm like, what is this couch? 00:49:45 Speaker 2: It's crazy, it's too much unless everyone that you've invited is a billionaire, right, and you're at that point. Yeah, what's happening? 00:49:53 Speaker 4: I don't even know. 00:49:54 Speaker 2: Wow, you're just really buying people gifts. 00:49:56 Speaker 3: I really love to buy gifts. 00:49:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I think with that in mind, we're going to play a game. 00:50:02 Speaker 4: Great. 00:50:03 Speaker 2: This game is called gift Master. Oh, gift Master. I'm going to name three celebrities, three famous people. I'm going to name three objects, items, whatever, and you're going to tell me which of those you'll give to which celebrities. Oh, I love this game, but I need a number between one and ten. Okay, six, Okay, I'm going to calculate this. In the meantime, I want you to promote whatever you want, pod, your current podcasts, whatever you have. There's no telling how much time you have. Great, So and you said six, Yes, okay, I have a Patreon podcast now call. If you go to patreon dot com slash Lauren Lapis, you can follow that. I'm doing different things every week. It's like improv. Sometimes it's a conversation with somebody. Sometimes it's a solo episode. There's video of the podcast that you can watch watch us improvising, and my short film that I made is also up there so you can see that. I have a podcast called Newcomers with Nicolebyer where we watch Star Wars for the first time. Neither of us have ever seen it. This is free and available to everyone on every platform. And we even have a bonus episode with the first movie where you can sync it up to the movie and here are commentary over it like Mystery Science Theater. 00:51:13 Speaker 3: It's very fun. And beyond that, I have a movie coming out in the spring called The Wrong Missy. It's me and David Spade and you know, essentially a rom com, so that'll be on Netflix. This is more time than I was expecting. So well, you've I mean, I feel like you fieled it perfectly. Okay, great, we've got the results. We've got the results. You're about to be challenged in a way that I mean could break you. Okay, Okay. The three gifts that you are going to be giving m m are I've already lost them, but I'm going to find them, and everything's going to be fine. 00:51:50 Speaker 4: I trust you. 00:51:51 Speaker 2: Okay, an indoor water fountain, kind of a decorative indoor. 00:51:56 Speaker 3: Water fountain that's really interesting. 00:51:58 Speaker 2: A crock pot, okay, And the band Franz Ferdinand. They are for sale at this point. Yes, yeah, So those are the three gifts you'll be giving to the following people. Number one Sigourney Weaver, Number two Metallica drummer and internet hater Lars Ulric Okay, and finally Korean pop sensations bts. 00:52:30 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 00:52:30 Speaker 4: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I think and you've got to tell me why. 00:52:40 Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, I think Sigourney Weaver gets the crock pot because I imagine maybe she's had a point in her life where she's relaxing more okay, and cooking, might be taking a step forward in her life. I assume she had a chef at some point. You know, I don't know. I don't know how rich she had. 00:53:03 Speaker 2: That Alien's money, Yeah she had. I mean, let's be honest, that Avatar. 00:53:07 Speaker 4: Money, I've never seen it. 00:53:09 Speaker 2: Well, if you're the one person that made the right choice, I. 00:53:14 Speaker 4: Think she might think that's like quaint in a way. 00:53:17 Speaker 3: And I do think she's really she has a very like tough vibe, so there's a chance she'll think it's shit. Yeah, but I also think like I can't please her, and the giving her the water fountain and the band are both going to be issues for her. So I think the crock pot is like a straight down the middle, like what you know what it is like you might. 00:53:35 Speaker 2: Like this and I might unlock some new part of her personality. 00:53:39 Speaker 3: Totally, get a crock pot cookbook and you just see what's up, you know, throw. 00:53:42 Speaker 2: Like a roast beef in there or is that something you throwing a crock pot Jones? Right? Uh, what do you make in a croc. 00:53:49 Speaker 1: I don't know. 00:53:49 Speaker 4: I have one. 00:53:50 Speaker 3: I've only made like a couple of things in it because I got it my friend, Like was she never used it? She probably got it for a wedding. 00:53:55 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, gave it such a real wedding gift. Totally. 00:53:58 Speaker 3: I got a waffle maker for my first wedding. That's oh a garment I have. I use it one time and that's that's the thing that I put on the thing. And it's like, no one should have given me that. No, that's unnecessary. I'm opening a waffle restaurant. It's so stupid, but I'm not going to throw it out because I mean, you know, if I ever want. 00:54:15 Speaker 2: Well, you might have your Sigourney moment where you have the time and waffles stake that step forward sounds. 00:54:20 Speaker 4: Kind of fun right now, maybe I will make them so but okay, so. 00:54:24 Speaker 3: That's for her. 00:54:25 Speaker 2: Sigourney is getting the crock pot. Set it and forget it, set it forget. Is that a crock pot? I think that is a crock pot. 00:54:31 Speaker 3: It is set and forget. Okay, So here's my dilemma, Lars, all right, all right, oh yeah, what now that I've said it, who knows? I don't know, Lars. 00:54:42 Speaker 2: Our friend like attacking Napster, okay, and then maybe you know, and then and then band Metallica. 00:54:50 Speaker 3: So my first thought was he should have the band because he'd be able to like do something with them. 00:54:54 Speaker 4: Right because they're second drummer. 00:54:56 Speaker 3: Thinking that he hates like the internet makes me think like he would be annoyed by that idea and think that I was being like really like trying to be funny and it's like not cool, right, or. 00:55:06 Speaker 2: Being like, well, get rid of your old band. Here's a new this is what we're. 00:55:10 Speaker 3: Looking for now in two thousand, of course, yes, but I think the water fountain is the is the thing because he's kind of like old school then, so maybe he would like maybe that would remind him of like his childhood or something right and like going to school, and like it would be kind of quirky and interesting in his house. And someone who is like that might appreciate something weird. 00:55:35 Speaker 2: Sure, and he does seem like somebody who needs a relaxing white noise and maybe the dribbling sound of water. 00:55:42 Speaker 3: Now, wait, are you talking about a water fountain, like, Oh, we're on a very different patre drinking fountain, Lauren. 00:55:49 Speaker 4: I'm well, I don't know what because that's a fizzure. 00:55:53 Speaker 3: Because if it's a fountain like you would find in a park, then I want to give that to Sigourney. 00:55:57 Speaker 2: Oh everything has been thrown off. I okay, so this is my failure as a host. 00:56:03 Speaker 4: Well, water fountain might be a like a local, you know, regional. 00:56:07 Speaker 2: I was thinking, so that's that's something. I would call it drinking fountain. Okay, I call it water fountain. But I but I've made the mistake. A water fountain does sound like something you would drink from. I should have said a decorative fountain with the water being implied. And so now everything has been thrown off. Sigourney's getting a crockpod that she's not gonna use. No, exactly, I can't give her that. Lars is I mean, he now has like a Schroden what is it cat? Which is could be a water fountain to drink from, or could be something that's nice and everything I've said. 00:56:38 Speaker 3: Sigourney gets the decorative fountain, Okay, Okay, that's just gonna make her house look nice. It's that simple, right, she can relax listen to the noise. Lars gets the crock pot. Okay, because he hates modern stuff, right right, so he would like that. That actually makes more sense. Makes my job a lot ease. Okay, Okay, Now the band would find it really like quirky and american to receive this band as a gift. 00:57:01 Speaker 4: Of course. 00:57:03 Speaker 2: And also the band is so large that you know, the five four members of Franz Ferdinand might just kind of blend in totally. 00:57:10 Speaker 3: They could start learning the dance moves and just be on stage with them and not even know what's. 00:57:14 Speaker 2: Going exactly, or they play is the backing band. Yes, or I feel like that that's a crossover America is looking for. 00:57:21 Speaker 3: Anyway, we would Oh my god, if Franz Ferdinand just teamed up with a band like that, Oh my god, I would love oh. 00:57:26 Speaker 2: For them to be they should produce the next BTS. That's really smart BTS fan base reach. 00:57:32 Speaker 4: Out to me. Does BTS stand for something? 00:57:34 Speaker 2: I've wondered about this. I mean, it can't be behind the scenes. I'm gonna guess bat tell star, that tells star. That's that makes sense. Boys that sing that's the best? 00:57:47 Speaker 3: Oh, you really found that? 00:57:49 Speaker 4: I like that. 00:57:51 Speaker 2: I think I If that's not it, then they've made a huge mistake. I think it has to be boys that saying boy that stings. That one's a little more con he is a little more confusing. But that could potentially boys twelve, but there are probably twelve of them boys twelve. 00:58:09 Speaker 3: Sorority Yeah, yes, they fraternity. Yeah translates close enough. 00:58:16 Speaker 2: Yeah, h Stephen, do you have any idea what BTS stands for? 00:58:21 Speaker 3: Believe this since for Bankton boys literally meeting bulletproof boy scouts. 00:58:26 Speaker 4: What bulletproof boy scouts? I love that that's white cooler, possibly expect. 00:58:33 Speaker 3: I don't know where the te comes into play. 00:58:34 Speaker 2: But boy scouts, that's great. Bless them. I mean that's uh, you know, that's a lot cooler than I expected. BTS congrats, I mean behind the scenes or boys that sing are still available for other bands? 00:58:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, any bad. 00:58:49 Speaker 2: Telstar is a beautiful I feel like that's like maybe kind of a an indie band or something that'd be cool up and coming. Pitchfork be on the lookout. Okay, well you've what happened here is you. I threw you a curveball with the water found thing and you've totally adjusted to And I think that just speaks to the fact that you're giving people gifts constantly and know how to work the system. 00:59:13 Speaker 3: You know, if you have a pile of gifts in your house, you could figure out how to give them to anyone. This is like you got to just work with what you got. I do have a basket of like things that will be used for gifts in a punch. I haven't really had to dip into that, but I like the knowing that it's. 00:59:28 Speaker 4: Just that little safety. 00:59:29 Speaker 3: Yeah, and a lot of it's like stuff I've gotten for free that I think people might think is fine, of course, that I just don't want like things like swag stuff from like TV shows sure that. 00:59:37 Speaker 2: You're not going to be using in any other context. 00:59:39 Speaker 3: Sometimes I give them on stocking stuff first, Like I gotta I went to a ninety Day Fiance, just started watching it. That's show on TV. I'm so excited for you. You're so much ahead of your first episode. I I'm not kidding, had trouble breathing. I didn't know what was happening. 00:59:53 Speaker 4: Are you starting from the beginning or. 00:59:55 Speaker 3: Like episode one? I love that episode one, and then all the spin offs are going to come Ino play. 00:59:59 Speaker 4: You're gonna have to I just heard about ninety days. Before the ninety. 01:00:02 Speaker 3: Days, we got niney days. Happily, ever after a question Mark we got ninety days pillow talk. This is thousands of episodes. There's too much. It's so so so good, it's so funny. You'll get obsessed. But I got invited to a ninety day Fance mixer which was for talent from the show, and then just like. 01:00:17 Speaker 4: TLC employees, and then somehow I was there. 01:00:19 Speaker 3: I don't know. It was very rare, and Jerry O'Connell also got oh sure, sure. So we were there and I got to meet a handful of them. But one of the best things was that there was a gift bag at the end, and it came with a pillow talk I'm asked to sleep with, and then a ninety day fance like Loomy for your phone that lights up to your selfies are better Okay, And I think that was it. But I gave those to my family and they really enjoyed it. 01:00:41 Speaker 4: Oh, I bet they were thrilled. Yeah, the show is insane. 01:00:44 Speaker 3: It's so insane that people are I just met someone who knows one of the people from it, and I was like, that's my dream. I could know someone from my high school or something who's on that show. 01:00:55 Speaker 4: That's their ultimate fantasy. I would watch it over and over again. 01:00:58 Speaker 2: Oh wow, Yeah, we're gonna move on to the final thing here. 01:01:02 Speaker 1: An. 01:01:02 Speaker 2: I feel very happy to have you now that you've demonstrated so much gift giving knowledge. This is called I said no questions. People are writing in they're asking I said no gifts. At gmail dot com. They're asking for help giving gifts. We'll do one, maybe we'll do two. We'll see what happens. I'm gonna read this and then you're gonna help me here. Bridger, My fiance is impossible to shop for and never says he wants anything because if he did, quote, he would just buy it for himself. What do I get him for our anniversary? 01:01:37 Speaker 4: Thanks? Laura in Los Angeles. 01:01:39 Speaker 3: Wow, we don't have any information about what he's into. Yeah, zero information, But you know what I hate? And tell me if you agree with this. When you google like gifts for men, there's like such a small breadth of what they will have. You considered a shaving kit, it's like shaving kit, anything that's brown, leather, all listened leather, keychain thing like it's like so boring, or like something technological like a charger. How about a Bluetooth speaker exactly, And it's like they have all of those things. Men are like, already you have a keychain, a wallet, a speaker, Like you're done. So those are not helpful. I hate those kinds of things. Here's a suggestion, Zappo's gift card. 01:02:22 Speaker 4: Oh not a bad, very cool. 01:02:25 Speaker 3: They're from me. 01:02:26 Speaker 2: Well, this is this podcast is becoming very pro gift card because I think that there were those few years that we were all saying that gift cards are thoughtless. They're fantastic, They're wonderful. Everyone loves one, especially when it's to a specific type of buying. Shewline all the time. If it could be free, why would you not want that? Of course, it's great got a new pair of shoes that you weren't expecting. 01:02:47 Speaker 3: But I think Zappos could be good like specific in that, like everyone wants new shoes, it's really hard to pick out shoes for someone. Yes, the only person I ever have bought shoes for is my sister in law because she always buys the same shoes I have. She always likes my shoes. If I pick out something I like and she has feet there half the size of mind, so I'm like, it'll look even cuter on her. 01:03:03 Speaker 2: How did you let me ask you? How did you find out her shoe size without giving away the surprise? Asked my brother. Okay, yeah, see that's the one thing that you run the risk of. But if you can find a third party to get the information for you, then you can get the surprise shoe. But yeah, they are a hard thing to buy for people. So yeah, Zappa's gift card is not a bad idea and coming up on my fifth anniversary with my boyfriend, and he's out of town, and so we've promt well, he made me promise we wouldn't get anything for each other until he was He said no gifts. He literally said no gifts. He demanded no gifts, and I'm staying true to that. But I'm I guess I'm going to make him a little playlist, just something, just a little something too. I love Yeah, And I'm also going to give him the upfront knowledge that he has to listen to it or it's going to break my heart absolutely. 01:03:52 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:03:53 Speaker 4: If that goes on listening to. 01:03:54 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a real devastating little yeah five years in, no listen to my podcast playlist. 01:04:00 Speaker 4: I love a playlist. 01:04:01 Speaker 3: I do think for someone like this when my next inclination is to give something like that, where it's like not something you could buy, but something meaningful to your relationship. I once drew a comic strip for a partner that was like of a moment that we shared. It's not even that great of an artist, but it was kind of fun. 01:04:19 Speaker 2: Okay, just something. It doesn't matter if this skill is that high. It's like you know, the old cliche. It's the thought that counts totally. It's true for you. Hear it all the time for a reason. Yeah, and then maybe, as we've talked about, write a thoughtful card, move on, you've shown you've done your work. 01:04:38 Speaker 3: Also another idea for this a gift card to a restaurant that he has been wanting to try as a date night for you both. Oh, but then it's like you pick the day and we'll go do that. That's not and that's already set. Like it's not like you're just going to pay at the end of dinner. 01:04:52 Speaker 2: Like right, it becomes an event. 01:04:54 Speaker 3: And you went out of your way to get the card, like shows effort. Yeah, you really want to show effort. You want to show that you sweat. 01:05:01 Speaker 2: And then it was difficult and this person is kind of just a burden and they're just going to keep needing things. 01:05:08 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have another idea. Oh, I want to hear it if he likes his computer, if he cares about his computers. My husband recently got like a cover for his keyboard, like has his has all the shortcuts for like things that you can do on your computer. I don't really care what that, but there are fun, colorful ones and it like keeps your keyboard. 01:05:30 Speaker 4: And this is going on a laptop. 01:05:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, yeah, it's like a thin sheet. It's like silicon that sounds kind of nice to touch. Yeah, it makes typing field funds kind of softer. 01:05:40 Speaker 2: And all these shortcuts like for control, taking a screenshot, this sort of nonsense on there. 01:05:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a more expert level. But yeah, yeah you really just maybe you just take over the podcast. 01:05:54 Speaker 2: On ideas. These are just I am happy to just go away. Lauren Lapus, a new host. Well, I think we've answered enough. Yeah, that was we really just nailed. 01:06:07 Speaker 4: Well. 01:06:08 Speaker 2: I'm taking credit for what large largely you put the work in here. 01:06:11 Speaker 3: I'm honestly, I'm feel pretty good about my suggestions. I hope one of those is helpful. 01:06:15 Speaker 2: If they aren't, then I don't know what to tell you about that relationship, because these all feel like solid gifts. 01:06:20 Speaker 4: If he doesn't like it, he's. 01:06:22 Speaker 2: At Yeah, he's a real dickhead, and it's time to say goodbye. He's still the fiance, so there's a chance you just break it off now, get out clean gov On Lauren, I mean you, I'm not going to, but I feel like I should be writing you a thank you card. I don't want one right now, and you're not going to get one thank you, But somewhere down the line you're going to get a thank you card. Who knows for what? Yeah, but I really appreciate you being here and just shining like a star. 01:06:54 Speaker 3: This was a blast. 01:06:55 Speaker 4: I loved it. I think we're done here. I think that's the end of the show. Great. 01:06:59 Speaker 2: Remember the tip about the pharmacy. That's a good one. Yeah, yeah, all right, Nie I said no gifts isn't exactly right. 01:07:06 Speaker 4: Production. 01:07:07 Speaker 2: It's engineered by Earth Angel Stephen Ray Morris. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann. You can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter. At I said no gifts, And if you have a question or need help getting a gift for someone in your life, email me at I said no gifts at gmail dot com. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you found me. And why not leave a review while you're at it? 01:07:34 Speaker 1: Hello? And why did you hear thot a man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your presences, presents And I'm already at him stop. So how do you dare to surbey me?