1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:01,920 Speaker 1: Buggle up, hold on tight. We got it for you. 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: Here it is the Strawberry Letter. Ready for the letter, 3 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: Here we go. Subject. I am a mother and a wife, 4 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: not a maize Ready. Dear Shirley and Steve. I'm hoping 5 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: that you will choose this letter because at this point 6 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:22,280 Speaker 1: I really don't know what to do. I've been married 7 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,119 Speaker 1: for close to nine years to a wonderful man, have 8 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: one child and another child that will be born in 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 1: about two weeks. When my husband and I were dating, 10 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: I did notice that he wasn't always the neatest person, 11 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 1: but I cut him some slack because it was a 12 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: bachelor and living on his own. When we got married 13 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,159 Speaker 1: and moved into our apartment, he would help out, but 14 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 1: the majority of the housework fell on me. Shortly after 15 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,960 Speaker 1: moving into our first home, I began to repeatedly ask 16 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: him for help around the house. It would usually take 17 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: me acting like a lunatic before he would help, but 18 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 1: the help would only last for about two or three weeks. 19 00:00:56,600 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: Fast forward three years later, and I'm still responsible for 20 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: the housework. Granted, my husband does not have a regular 21 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: night of five like I do, but on the on 22 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: his days off, I expect him to do something anything? 23 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: Am I wrong for asking him to take care of 24 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: the yard, do a few loads of laundry and clean 25 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: up the house if he saw him all day without 26 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: our child to take care of. As well, When I'm 27 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 1: off on the weekend, I get more done in five 28 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: hours than he does in two full days of being off, 29 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: and that's with having to take care of our child 30 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 1: and being pregnant. One more thing, whenever I asked him 31 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,559 Speaker 1: to do something that affects his family, I never asked 32 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,840 Speaker 1: him more than once. Please help me what should I do? 33 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I respect your advice and usually agree with 34 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: the advice that you have given others. I'm hoping that 35 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,680 Speaker 1: you will give me a solution that no one else 36 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: has already given me and didn't work. Signed. My name 37 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: is not Florence from the Jefferson's Dear Nut, Florence. You 38 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: just married your opposite, your neat, and he's a slob. 39 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: You like to clean up and he doesn't. You've already 40 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: said that he was a wonderful man, and just because 41 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: he's a slob and doesn't like to clean up doesn't 42 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: make him a bad person. But him not being supportive 43 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: of you when you're about to deliver his baby in 44 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: two weeks. Makes him lazy, lazy, lazy and selfish to me. 45 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: He needs to get up off his butt. He needs 46 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: to um, like you said, do something anything. You're pregnant. 47 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to lift a finger to do anything. 48 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: You know, he wasn't He wasn't neat when you when 49 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: you were dating you did notice that. I say, you know, 50 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: call a professional made service mary maid, see if they're 51 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,639 Speaker 1: in your area. Okay, just call a professional maide service. 52 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,679 Speaker 1: You shouldn't have to do all this while you're pregnant. 53 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,119 Speaker 1: Come on, this man needs to step up and help 54 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: you and be supportive. You're having his baby for God's say, 55 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: twelve minutes. You're mad at me, aren't you? Tommy. I'm 56 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: going to talk to you. We'll have part two of 57 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: Steve's response coming up. Come on, Steve, let's get to 58 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: part two of your sponsor to today's Strawberry letter. This shellon, Steve, 59 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: I'm hoping you chew this letter because at this point 60 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: I really don't know what to do. I've been married 61 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: for close to nine years to a wonderful man, have 62 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: one child and another one that would be born in 63 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: about two weeks when my husband and I were dating, 64 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: I did notice that he wasn't the neatest person, but 65 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 1: I cut him some slack because he was a bachelor 66 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: living on his own. When we got married and moved 67 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: into our apartment, he would help out, but the majority 68 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: of the house work fell on me. Shortly after moving 69 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: into our first home, I began to repletedly ask him 70 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 1: to help around the house. I would usually take me 71 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: acting like a lunatic before he would help, but the 72 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,799 Speaker 1: help would only last for about two or three weeks. 73 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: Fast forward three years later, and I'm still responsible for 74 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: the housework. Granted, my husband does not have a regular 75 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: nine to five like I do, but on his off days, 76 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: I expect him to do something anything. Am I wrong 77 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: for asking him to take care of the yard, do 78 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: a few loads of laundry, or clean up the house 79 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: if he's home all day without our child to take 80 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: care of. As well, when I'm off on the weekends, 81 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: I get more done in five hours than he does 82 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: in two full days of being off, and that's with 83 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 1: having to take care of our child and being pregnant. 84 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 1: One more thing, Whenever I asked him to do something 85 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: that affects his family. I never have to ask him 86 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 1: more than once. Please help me what should I do? 87 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: Stephen Sherley. I respect your advice and usually agree with 88 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: the advice that you have given others. I'm hoping that 89 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: you give me an solution that no one else has 90 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,720 Speaker 1: already given me and didn't work. Signed. My name is 91 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 1: not Flauence from the Jeffersons. Well, uh, lady, that ain't 92 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 1: Flaunce from the Jeffersons. Let me help you out. I 93 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: think the solution is in the way you look at 94 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 1: this letter. I think you your situation has to be 95 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,359 Speaker 1: looked at a little bit different. Uh. This is not 96 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:37,280 Speaker 1: a letter about pregnancy at all. I respect the fact 97 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: that you are pregnant. Now, I love women for that 98 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: ability that God given gift, and you are to be 99 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 1: honored and respected and uphill for that duty that you 100 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: all performed so eloquently. But this letter really ain't about 101 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 1: your pregnancy. This letter really is about your man that 102 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: you knew prior to getting married was sloppy. So after 103 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 1: you gotten married, see you say I cut him some 104 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,119 Speaker 1: slack because he was a bachelor living on his own, 105 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: and this was supposed to change because y'all did what 106 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: y'all exchange rings and vow to live and love and 107 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: richard for poor, better, for work, sickness, and in health. 108 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 1: Thus far, he is not breaking any of the vows 109 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: that he committed to. Thou shall clean the house is 110 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: not a wedding, vial or commitment of any kind. You 111 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 1: have a wonderful man, it's just something about your man. 112 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:39,600 Speaker 1: You don't like your man sloppy and you want him 113 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: to be neat. Well, I got news for you. You 114 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: and all the ladies is having this problem. Your man 115 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: ain't gonna be that for you. I began to repeatedly 116 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: ask him help around the house and usually take me 117 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,719 Speaker 1: acting like a lunatic before he would help. Okay, so 118 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 1: now you're snapping, going off with it. He cleaned straighten 119 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 1: up for a couple of weeks, and that ain't good 120 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: for you when you're pregnant. No, how, he's straighten up 121 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 1: for two weeks. Fast forward three years later, you still 122 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: ninety nine percent responsible for the housework. Granted, here's the 123 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: key in the letter. Granted, my husband does not have 124 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,640 Speaker 1: a regular nine to five like I do. Well, let's 125 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: read in between those lines for minute, folks, does this 126 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,280 Speaker 1: mean that this man has a job that takes him 127 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: away from the home a lot more than an eight 128 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,479 Speaker 1: hour job. Is he in some type of running his 129 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,720 Speaker 1: own business? Is he in sales? Is he in a 130 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: salary position that requires him to be a do job 131 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: until the job is through? What type of job does 132 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: he had? What she admits? Granted, he does not have 133 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,840 Speaker 1: a nine to five, meaning he working more than eight hours. 134 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: That's what I see in this letter. So when dog 135 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: come home, see the man got to plug up and 136 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: get rejuvenated for the next day. He fit to clean 137 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: up your house. That ain't what he do. He wasn't 138 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: cleaning up the house for he met you. He didn't 139 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: sign up for the match to clean up the house. 140 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,239 Speaker 1: Now now you want some help or everybody say getting 141 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: maid service. Everybody ain't got money for no maid service. 142 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: So if I was you, ma'am, so you can quit 143 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: driving yourself crazy with this wonderful man you'd have, who 144 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: is number one dude taking care of three p's. He's 145 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 1: professing his love for you because you know he's a 146 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: wonderful man. He's providing for you because you're in a 147 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: new house. Somebody paying for it, And I bet it's 148 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: got a lot to do with that man that's got 149 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: that job. That ain't no regular nine to five. He 150 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: turned in the change over and he willing to protect you. 151 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: So this ain't about him cheating. This ain't about him 152 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: not being there for you emotionally. All you, mad body, 153 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: is he won't clean up the house. Now you've got 154 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: the pregnant, the majority of women will be in their 155 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 1: life pregnant. Well, had a baby, and then let's move on. 156 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: I'm just telling you what you can quit expecting from 157 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: your man. I'm telling you the letter ain't about her pregnancy. 158 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: What do you want the man to do cause you're 159 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: pregnant now? Is he taking care of prenatal care? Providing 160 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: all the medicine? And she said nothing about lifting no 161 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: finger sharlet, She don't want to do no housework. But 162 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: what you cannot expect this man to do, it's crimping 163 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: be something that he ain't heat going to do the housework. 164 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: That ain't what you do. All right, Steve, we gotta 165 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: get out of here. Email us or instagram us your 166 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 1: thoughts on today's strawberry letter at my girls, Shirley and 167 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: please please join me this Thursday at one thirty pm 168 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: Eastern Time. I'll be on Facebook for the Strawberry Letter 169 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: Live after show. All right, I want to see you there. 170 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: You're listening to The Steve Harvey Morning Show.