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Speaker 1: Lokata Radio is a radiophonic novela.

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Speaker 2: Which is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.

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Speaker 3: I'm fiosa fem.

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Speaker 4: And I am ma la munios.

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Speaker 2: We're podcasting through another Trump election year. We've been podcasting

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Speaker 2: through election years, a global pandemic, civic unrest, political controversies,

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Speaker 2: the Me Too movement, the rise of TikTok, and we

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Speaker 2: are still here.

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Speaker 4: We're not done telling stories.

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Speaker 1: We're still making podcasts. We're older, we're wiser, We're even

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Speaker 1: podcasting through a new decade of our lives.

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Speaker 2: Since twenty sixteen, we've been making Loca to Our Radio

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Speaker 2: independently until we joined iHeartMedia's Michael Dura Network in twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty two.

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Speaker 1: From our Lips to your ears, fall in love with

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Speaker 1: Loka to a radio like you never have before.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Season nine, Love that first Listen, O.

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Speaker 1: Lao La Loka Motes. Welcome to see than nine of

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Speaker 1: look at Dora Radio.

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Speaker 3: I'm the Osa and I'm Mala.

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Speaker 1: Look at Otra Radio is a podcast dedicated to our

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Speaker 1: chiving our present and shifting the culture forward. You're tuning

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Speaker 1: in to Capito one ninety seven.

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Speaker 2: Last time on loc at Totter Radio, we interviewed Mariana

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Speaker 2: de Miguel aka Girl Ultrap.

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Speaker 5: This is actually my Mike Coachilla first time ever. I

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Speaker 5: haven't even went to the festival before, but I wanted

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Speaker 5: to keep the core of like Girl Ultra, like talking

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Speaker 5: to people on stage and just coming up, coming down.

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Speaker 2: Go back, listen to that episode, leave us a review

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Speaker 2: and share with a friend, and make sure you stream

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Speaker 2: Girl Ultra's music.

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Speaker 4: She has bangers.

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Speaker 1: So before we get into today's interview, we have a

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Speaker 1: really great interview, by the way, but before we get

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Speaker 1: into that, we just want to take some time to

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Speaker 1: check in, catch up. If you've been listening since the

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Speaker 1: launch of season nine, you may have caught on that

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Speaker 1: our episodes are not necessarily current, you know, because we

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Speaker 1: had to shift things around, and so yeah, just check in,

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Speaker 1: and also announcing a couple fun things coming.

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Speaker 2: Oh, super fun things the podcast. We have been just

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Speaker 2: grinding and putting out episodes for a while now, and

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Speaker 2: we have a big anniversary coming up that we want

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Speaker 2: to celebrate with you all.

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Speaker 1: We like the true latinas that we are, find any

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Speaker 1: reason to celebrate. Yes, it's not just an anniversary, right,

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Speaker 1: It's not just an anniversary, a birthday.

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Speaker 3: It's like a milestone.

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Speaker 4: Yes, it's a milestone, right, we must celebrate.

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Speaker 1: We have to celebrate every little thing here. I look

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Speaker 1: at our radio because we deserve it, and so do y'all.

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Speaker 1: And so we are hosting a pop up an activation

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Speaker 1: at Boulevard Market on June eighth, in celebration of our

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Speaker 1: two hundredth episode.

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Speaker 2: I'm so excited, and we know some of you have

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Speaker 2: listened to all well. By the time the activation happens,

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Speaker 2: you will have listened to all two hundred episodes. We

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Speaker 2: know we have some rider Die dedicated listeners out there,

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Speaker 2: some of you who have been listening since you were

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Speaker 2: in high school, in undergrad and now you're fully fledged adults.

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Speaker 2: We have raised children, we are mothers, and so we

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Speaker 2: want to invite you all to come out to Boulevard

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Speaker 2: Market in celebration. The party's going to start at six

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Speaker 2: and from six to eight, we are going to be

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Speaker 2: collecting sound bites from our listeners. If you want to

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Speaker 2: come and bring a memory, a favorite episode, if you

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Speaker 2: have ever attended Loca Live a podcast party you want

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Speaker 2: to talk about it, We're going to be collecting some

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Speaker 2: audio and you might just have a chance to be

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Speaker 2: featured on a future episode of Look At What Our Radio.

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Speaker 1: On the two hundredth episode. It's a milestone episode, a

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Speaker 1: big episode, and it's so fun because when we hit

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Speaker 1: our one hundred episode milestone, we launched our crowdfunding campaign,

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Speaker 1: yes you know, and that was like on the road to.

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Speaker 3: One hundred k. We crowdfunded, y'all.

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Speaker 1: Gave us money, thank you, and because that we were

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Speaker 1: able to launch loc a thought our productions. This was

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Speaker 1: all pre iHeart and so pre dated iHeart right like

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Speaker 1: maybe two years even a year or two. But we

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Speaker 1: really wanted to commemorate our two hundredth episode, not just

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Speaker 1: with an episode that comes out we weekly like the

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Speaker 1: rest of them, but with an activation where we could

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Speaker 1: involve y'all. And we know in the past we've put

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Speaker 1: out calls for y'all to submit voice memos and that

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Speaker 1: has been really fun. But in case you haven't notice,

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Speaker 1: we've kind of been on a hiatus from live events

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Speaker 1: from pop ups, and so this is like our return

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Speaker 1: pre pandemic. We used to do pop ups all the time.

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Speaker 1: If you're an OG you went to our Meho Sola.

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Speaker 3: Pop up at.

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Speaker 1: So fun where we like hit a big olda that's

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Speaker 1: a dump him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and people put in memories of their exes inside

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Speaker 2: the piginata and then hit it.

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Speaker 3: It was camp.

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Speaker 4: It was like, it was cute.

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Speaker 3: It was so cute.

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Speaker 2: We had a big mirror there and people wrote affirmations

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Speaker 2: on the mirror.

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Speaker 4: It was a great time.

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Speaker 3: It was a great time. We've done. We had a

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Speaker 3: Pianna party.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, the Piatna party was so fun.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and DJ Sizzle was there too. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, so we've hosted lots of pop ups, lots of

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Speaker 1: live events over the last eight years, and so this

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Speaker 1: is like our comeback, launching summer with a cute pop

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Speaker 1: up activation.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Like Mala mentioned, from six to eight, we're going to

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Speaker 1: be gathering soundbites, we're going to be talking with y'all,

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Speaker 1: and then it's going to be a party.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: If you've never been to Boulevard Market, it's a great time.

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Speaker 1: It's a food hall, there's a brewery, there's wine, there's cocktails.

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Speaker 1: There's going to be a specialty look at cocktail. And

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Speaker 1: so we're really excited to just be out and about again.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, And this is not a live podcast, it's not

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Speaker 2: a live show, but we are going to have our

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Speaker 2: little microphones and we will be collecting some audio again

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Speaker 2: from listeners. So think about think about what you love

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Speaker 2: most about us, and then come prepared to tell us

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Speaker 2: live at in person. We're probably gonna have merch as well.

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Speaker 1: We're definitely going to have yeah, brand new merged never

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Speaker 1: before seen. We're gonna have some og merge, some old merch,

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Speaker 1: some of the boppy hats, the originals that you know

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Speaker 1: are kind of out of print right now, but we

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Speaker 1: have some, yeah, so come and grab those.

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Speaker 3: It's basically going to be like live worshiping.

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Speaker 2: Yes, actually, now that you mention it, just come worship

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Speaker 2: us and each other live and in person.

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Speaker 4: And I miss our look at live.

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Speaker 2: I miss our live shows because we would always have

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Speaker 2: listeners who ended up making friends and then became besties

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Speaker 2: and relationships would form. I know that's even happened for

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Speaker 2: us basically at our own shows. So it's another opportunity

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Speaker 2: to meet other listeners. There is a little community of

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Speaker 2: locomotives out there, and so if you haven't connected with

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Speaker 2: other listeners, this is going to be a really great

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Speaker 2: chance to do that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So come through June eighth at Boulevard Market from

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Speaker 1: six pm to eleven pm.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna eat, we're gonna drink, we're gonna chat.

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Speaker 2: Come through, come through, And.

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Speaker 1: Now we're super excited to bring on Annavette Martinez, co

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Speaker 1: founder of the Radical Monarchs. But before that, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: go on a quick break and we'll be right back. Awesome,

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Speaker 1: and we're back, Okay, Loka Motives without further ado, We

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Speaker 1: are so excited to have Anna Yvette Martinez, co founder

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Speaker 1: of the Radical Monarchs, with us today. Annaivette, can you

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Speaker 1: introduce yourself to our listeners?

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Speaker 6: Yes, Hello, my name is Anievett Maria Martinez. Pornouns are she,

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Speaker 6: her and femme. I am a queer mother of color.

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Speaker 6: I identify as a high fem Centro Americana. I recently

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Speaker 6: crowned Olricia Santa born and raised in the Bay and

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Speaker 6: I am one of the co founders and CEOs of

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Speaker 6: Radical Monarchs.

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Speaker 4: Amazing, Thank you so much for joining us today.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we have been following your journey, your work,

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Speaker 2: and the Radical Monarchs in particular for years now, and

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Speaker 2: watching the Radical Monarchs grow and feeling just like really

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Speaker 2: proud of the organization and the program and what you're

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Speaker 2: doing for the community.

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Speaker 4: So thank you for joining us.

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Speaker 2: I'm look at Dora today.

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Speaker 3: Yes, of course, So let's get started with that.

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Speaker 1: With the origin story of the Radical Monarchs. I know

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Speaker 1: was inspired by your own daughter, your own child, So

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Speaker 1: can you tell us more about how it got started

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Speaker 1: and just its evolution.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 6: So when my daughter Lupita was in fourth grade, a

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Speaker 6: lot of her classmates for joining a local traditional Scouting troupe,

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Speaker 6: and so naturally she wanted to join too, and she

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Speaker 6: was like, Mommy, there's this like troops starting up in

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Speaker 6: my class and my friends are joining, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 6: I was like okay, And you know, like no shade

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Speaker 6: to the Girl Scouts of America that I was never

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Speaker 6: a girl Scout. That didn't exist in my community, so

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Speaker 6: I didn't know much about it. But when I started

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Speaker 6: to look at the composition of what that troop would

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Speaker 6: look like for my daughter, she would have been only

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Speaker 6: one of two girls of color, and so that concerned me.

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Speaker 6: In addition to that, you know, Lupita was raised in

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Speaker 6: a very politically conscious radical household, and so Lupita's been

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Speaker 6: attending marches and pride events and visuals and actions since

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Speaker 6: she was a baby, since she was like literally out

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Speaker 6: of the womb and a stroller. And so I also

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Speaker 6: kind of felt like what traditional scouting looked like was

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Speaker 6: very kind of watered down, was a very water down

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Speaker 6: version of what justice looks like for us, And so

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Speaker 6: I started to kind of dream about what would it

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Speaker 6: look like for us to have something they had some

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Speaker 6: elements of scouting right, this idea of like camarodity, right

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Speaker 6: of building, like fear, sisterhood, earning badges right based on things.

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Speaker 6: But I was like, what would it look like if

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Speaker 6: they actually earned badges on like radical cool shit that

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Speaker 6: you don't typically learn until you're much older. And so

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Speaker 6: I had this idea and I literally just pitched it

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Speaker 6: to Lupita and I was like, I don't know about

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Speaker 6: you joining that, like you know, traditional scouting troupe, but

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Speaker 6: what if we do this kind of like on our own.

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Speaker 6: And she immediately like lit up and was just kind

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Speaker 6: of like, oh my god, Mommy, like yes, that's what

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Speaker 6: I want to do.

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Speaker 7: Let's do it. And I was like, okay, like let's

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Speaker 7: do it.

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Speaker 6: At the time, I was, you know, a full time

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Speaker 6: community organizer. I also have a second child, and so

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Speaker 6: I was really busy and so to be honest, I

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Speaker 6: kept forgetting about it, like and Lupita like never let.

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Speaker 7: That idea go, Like she was like, when are we

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Speaker 7: doing that thing? When are we doing that thing?

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Speaker 6: And she was like literally recruiting her classmates. She's like,

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Speaker 6: my mom and I are starting this troop, like do

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Speaker 6: you want to join?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 6: So I was like, oh my god, Okay, I guess

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Speaker 6: I have to do this for my kid. And so

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Speaker 6: at that point I turned to one of my best

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Speaker 6: friends and chosen sister Feends Marilyn Hollandquest and I was like, Hey,

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Speaker 6: I have this idea of doing this thing for my kid.

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Speaker 7: I can do this by myself. Both her and I are.

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Speaker 6: Longtime you know, community organizers, activists, youth workers, and educators,

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Speaker 6: and so I knew that she'd be a great person

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Speaker 6: to do this with. And so I was like, what

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Speaker 6: do you think about doing this with me? It would

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Speaker 6: just be for Lupita and her homies. And she was

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Speaker 6: like hell yeah, Like that is a dope idea, Let's

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Speaker 6: do it.

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Speaker 7: And so that's how it started, like really organically.

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Speaker 2: And how did you come up with the name Radical Monarchs?

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Speaker 2: I think, you know, monarchs, butterflies have this symbolic meaning historically,

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Speaker 2: and like movement spaces, migrant immigrant spaces. How did you

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Speaker 2: decide to land on that name?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so it wasn't our initial name. Our initial name

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Speaker 6: was actually the Radical Brownies.

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Speaker 3: Do you remember, Oh yeah, right, yeah totally.

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Speaker 6: So initially it was very much like, oh, like the

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Speaker 6: girls got brownies, but radical, so Radical Brownies, and so

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Speaker 6: that was our initial name. But the minute we started

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Speaker 6: to get some media attention the first time we attended

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Speaker 6: our first action. Now it's important to note that, like

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Speaker 6: we launched in December twenty fourteen, that was like right

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Speaker 6: in the middle of all the uprisings around like the

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Speaker 6: Michael Brown, the murder of Michael Brown, et cetera, et cetera,

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Speaker 6: and so it was kind of like go time, you know,

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Speaker 6: when we launched. And so the minute we attended our

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Speaker 6: first action, a lot of folks were kind of like, oh, like,

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Speaker 6: who is this group with these berets and these brown vests,

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Speaker 6: and so we got interviewed by someone from I want

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Speaker 6: to say, the San Franciso Chronicle, and so little did

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Speaker 6: we know that that media coverage would just kind of

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Speaker 6: put us everywhere, and we kind of blew up and

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Speaker 6: we started to get you know, both death threats and

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Speaker 6: people who were interested in joining our movement. And so

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Speaker 6: one day we got an email from the Girl Scouts

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Speaker 6: of America's like.

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Speaker 7: Like head office, and they were like.

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Speaker 6: You know, knock knock, like hey, like, it seems like

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Speaker 6: you're doing something really cool for your community, but you

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Speaker 6: also are creating what they call brand confusion because people

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Speaker 6: are confusing your organization for our organization, which at that

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Speaker 6: point where we're not even an organization, and so you know,

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Speaker 6: they very politely kind of were like, y'all have to

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Speaker 6: like cease and desist using Brownie's because they legally own

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Speaker 6: that word as meaning a group of young girls. But

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Speaker 6: the nice part about that was, and at first I

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Speaker 6: was like really irritated with that. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 6: like screw that, like we're going to fight them for

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Speaker 6: this name. And then it was kind of like, you

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Speaker 6: know what, like this gives us an opportunity to actually

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Speaker 6: name ourselves and have the monarchs themselves or like you know,

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Speaker 6: our trupe members name themselves and have them be a

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Speaker 6: part of that process, right, And so we had them

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Speaker 6: brainstorm some names and then they voted, and they voted

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Speaker 6: on monarchs, and they loved the idea of the monarch

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Speaker 6: butterfly and how one how it you know, how there

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Speaker 6: are no borders, and how it they migrate and also

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Speaker 6: how you know they also represent like this idea of

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Speaker 6: transformation and how social justice is very transformational.

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Speaker 2: We hope you've been enjoying this interview with Anna Yvette.

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Speaker 2: We will be right back with more.

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Speaker 1: I love that story so much because I remember when

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Speaker 1: I first started following you at Annaievette was when you

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Speaker 1: founded the Radical Brownies and then seeing the evolution, so

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Speaker 1: it's so beautiful to see, like you know, we launched

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Speaker 1: in twenty sixteen, and so we're not that much younger

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Speaker 1: than you, but so like I feel there's you and

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Speaker 1: I have connected so much and like growing our our businesses,

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Speaker 1: the practice all of that taking care of ourselves and

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Speaker 1: to see this evolution from like Indie Rascuatche even like

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Speaker 1: to then five A, one C three to you, like

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Speaker 1: going on retreats with your organization and really prioritizing care

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Speaker 1: and WHI the talk has been so beautiful to see

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Speaker 1: this evolution of the Radical Monarchs and the organization and

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Speaker 1: to see you too, like at the center of it.

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Speaker 1: So how do you think aside from the ways that

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Speaker 1: I just mentioned, Like, how else has the Radical Monarchs

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Speaker 1: evolved since it's founding in twenty fourteen, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 7: So much.

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Speaker 6: We're now our own five O one C three. So

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Speaker 6: we were a physically sponsored project for most of our years,

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Speaker 6: and then just last year we actually became our own

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Speaker 6: five O one C three. We are now national, so

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Speaker 6: we now have troops in New York in Brooklyn and

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Speaker 6: the Bronx Minneapolis, Denver, Los Angeles soon to be Long Beach.

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Speaker 6: So we're now a national organization and we're still a

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Speaker 6: small team, but we you know, initially this was much

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Speaker 6: like Loco, like a labor of love, right, So me

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Speaker 6: and Maryland, my the other co founder, my best friend.

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Speaker 7: This was what we did on the side.

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Speaker 6: We would literally come home from our full time jobs

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Speaker 6: and work on Radical Monarchs until we literally could not

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Speaker 6: keep our eyes open anymore. And so the biggest transition

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Speaker 6: happened in two thousand and seventeen when we got to

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Speaker 6: actually hire ourselves and pay ourselves for this work, and

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Speaker 6: that was like a huge moment for us. And then

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Speaker 6: now we're actually a staff of five. So the fact

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Speaker 6: that we have five full time paid staff members is

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Speaker 6: like so major for us.

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Speaker 3: That's huge, that's huge.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And for those listening who are curious, you know, the

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Speaker 2: Girl Scouts I think historically are for girls. And who

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Speaker 2: are the Radical Monarchs for? And what type of children

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Speaker 2: is the Radical Monarchs serving?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Radical Monarchs is for young girls and gender expansive

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Speaker 6: youth of color, beautiful.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know that brings us to the topic

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Speaker 1: of today's episode, which is radical mothering. And when I

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Speaker 1: first met you so many years ago, ten years ago now,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe it.

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Speaker 4: You.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I first came across your Instagram in

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Speaker 1: your bio, it was like Cuma, queer mother of color,

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Speaker 1: and I knew, like off the bat, okay, like this femme,

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Speaker 1: this woman is like, ah is a radical mother. Just

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Speaker 1: by having identifying as like a queer mother of color,

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Speaker 1: I know you're a radical mother.

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Speaker 3: Obviously. I've gotten to know you more over the years,

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Speaker 3: and I know that.

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Speaker 1: That's part of your praxis, that's the way you part

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Speaker 1: of the way you raise your children, and you've raised

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Speaker 1: them because I know Lupita's grown now, right, So talk

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Speaker 1: to us about like what radical mothering means to you

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Speaker 1: and maybe how that's also evolved for you over the

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Speaker 1: years in like birthing the radical monarchs and also your

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Speaker 1: actual children.

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Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, yes, there's definitely been. It's definitely evolved,

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Speaker 6: I would say, right. I think when I was first,

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Speaker 6: I was also a young mother, and I think that

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Speaker 6: that also has a lot to do with it. Right,

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Speaker 6: So I was pregnant with Lupita. I got pregnant Lupita

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Speaker 6: when it was in my last year in undergrad at UCLA.

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Speaker 6: So she literally like walked across stage with me in

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Speaker 6: my tummy when I graduated.

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Speaker 7: And I think that initially, as.

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Speaker 6: A young mother and as a young radicalized mother, I

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Speaker 6: felt very much like, okay, like I'm not doing nothing

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Speaker 6: that I was raised with, right, Like I'm gonna like

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Speaker 6: my you know, my baby girl is like nothing is

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Speaker 6: going to be pink and everything's going to be like blued.

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Speaker 6: I'm just gonna flip everything on its head. And I

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Speaker 6: think that initially that's what felt right to me. And

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Speaker 6: I think that what I learned as as my motherhood

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Speaker 6: progressed was like, oh, it's actually less about you know,

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Speaker 6: having my daughter wear like you know, mask or boy

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Speaker 6: representing things, or my son wearing feminine you know, presenting things,

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Speaker 6: and more about giving them all the options to explore

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Speaker 6: and to be curious, right, and giving them the space

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Speaker 6: and agency to explore what it is they like and

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Speaker 6: what it is they want to do, and what it

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Speaker 6: does they want to play with.

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Speaker 7: And so I think that that.

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Speaker 6: Was one of my earliest lessons that I had in

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Speaker 6: radical motherhood.

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Speaker 7: And I think that now that my kids are.

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Speaker 6: Lupita is nineteen, she's about to turn twenty in July,

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Speaker 6: which feels like next month, and my son Diego is seventeen,

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Speaker 6: I think that that continues to like really evolve and

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Speaker 6: change as to what it looks like. I think that

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Speaker 6: it also looks like them seeing me as more than

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Speaker 6: just their mother, right. I think it's about them also

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Speaker 6: seeing me as a whole person and ask someone that

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Speaker 6: needs to care for myself and love myself and that

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Speaker 6: I'm not self sacrificing.

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Speaker 7: So to free that mother that a lot.

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Speaker 6: Of us kind of grew up with, right, There's been

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Speaker 6: a lot of undoing of that that I've had to

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Speaker 6: do that I feel like is incredibly radical and I

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Speaker 6: think that my and I think that my kids are

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Speaker 6: only going to be stronger people by seeing that, by

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Speaker 6: seeing that that side of myself that I think that

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Speaker 6: a lot of us weren't able to see of our

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Speaker 6: own mothers. And so I consider that also a part

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Speaker 6: of my queer motherhood and my radical motherhood.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Do you see similarities with the other parents of the

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Speaker 2: other Radical Monarch members. Are they tending to, like be

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Speaker 2: walking a similar path as you and trying to sort

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Speaker 2: of redefine parenthood for themselves. Do you find like they

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Speaker 2: tend to be like minded in that way?

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Speaker 7: It's definitely a mix. We definitely have a mix.

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Speaker 6: I think that the Monarch's families that come to us

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Speaker 6: live on a spectrum. We have some that are like

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Speaker 6: the radical like they you know, there were also organizers

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Speaker 6: and activists, and then we have some that are more

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Speaker 6: like newly arrived migrant families that haven't had the kind

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Speaker 6: of space and capacity to be able to engage politically

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Speaker 6: in that way. And so we definitely have a mix

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Speaker 6: of families and how they show up in their radical parenthood.

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Speaker 7: But I think that one.

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Speaker 6: Of the commonalities is definitely and a common thread between

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Speaker 6: all of us is that we're all we all want

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Speaker 6: our kids to be able to be active and making

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Speaker 6: a difference in this world, and we want to center

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Speaker 6: their voices and their experiences.

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Speaker 1: I love that so much, knowing a little bit about

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Speaker 1: the types of parents that find y'all and arrive to y'all.

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Speaker 1: And I love what you said about you being a

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Speaker 1: person outside of your role as mother, because I think

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Speaker 1: that there are you know, adult children that can go

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Speaker 1: their whole lives without seeing their mothers as people and

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Speaker 1: just like the Soufrida, like you said, the subservient like

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Speaker 1: mother role and that's it. And so to see you

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Speaker 1: be able to embody that and be more than just

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Speaker 1: like the one role that is often forced upon us

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Speaker 1: by depending on who you ask, right, I think is

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Speaker 1: really powerful. I recently realized this. I've all come to

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Speaker 1: recognize my mother, of course, as her own person. But

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Speaker 1: there was something she said to me a couple of

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Speaker 1: months ago that made me really see, like, oh, my

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Speaker 1: mom is like really just figuring it out, even in

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Speaker 1: her late sixties, just like the rest of us.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's ongoing.

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Speaker 1: We're all people, were all evolving, right, just because we

440
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: take on this role of mother or father or parent

441
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 1: or not. You know, it doesn't mean we stop being

442
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,199
Speaker 1: people outside of that.

443
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, I remember, just to piggyback off of that.

444
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,440
Speaker 2: When I was a child, I remember once my mom

445
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 2: got so mad at us for something. There's three of

446
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 2: us siblings, and I remember being in the car and

447
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,639
Speaker 2: she was so upset with us.

448
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 4: I don't know what we did.

449
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 2: We were being little shits, of course, and.

450
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,680
Speaker 4: We're like mo mo mo mo. Mom.

451
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 2: She turns around and she says, my name is not

452
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 2: mom mmm, and it flipped my world upside down. It

453
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 2: was like, I remember, it was like getting smacked.

454
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 4: In the face, like, oh, who is this lady? I

455
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 4: don't even know her name?

456
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 1: Right?

457
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 4: But she has a name too. I didn't know. I

458
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 4: didn't realize.

459
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's some those realizations are pretty wild.

460
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 1: That's so interesting because then for some people, for some mothers,

461
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: it's like the biggest sign of disrespect if you call

462
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 1: them by their actual name.

463
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 7: Right.

464
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 1: There was a period where my mom and I were

465
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 1: we weren't working together, but she was working for an

466
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,639
Speaker 1: organization that I was working for, and so my boss

467
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: was like, when you're around her, I know it's gonna

468
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 1: be really hard.

469
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 3: But don't say mom, say her. You have to say

470
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 3: her name.

471
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: So now I refer to her as her name all

472
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 1: the time when I'm talking about her, and people are like,

473
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 1: you call your mom by her name, and I'm like, okay,

474
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 1: there's a backstory. But also yeah, at this point, like

475
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: I got used to it, and so when I'm talking

476
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: about her, yeah, I say her name.

477
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 3: So yeah, it is definitely like, well, that is her name.

478
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 4: You know you do that. How's Maggie, how's Murtha? Oh

479
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 4: my god, you're not going to believe what Mirta just did.

480
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 7: We're whole ass people.

481
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 2: Yes, it's beautiful Annie that I'm super curious. I want

482
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 2: to go back to something that you shared earlier about

483
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 2: when you first launched, that you guys got death threats.

484
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,840
Speaker 2: Now I'm curious, as the years have gone by, have

485
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 2: you still experienced that type of pushback or that type

486
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 2: of vitriol And what is it that people is rubbing

487
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 2: them the wrong way?

488
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 3: Like?

489
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 4: What is it that is like.

490
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:10,679
Speaker 2: Fueling that that bitterness and that anger towards the organization?

491
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, we definitely get it less. If we get it

492
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 6: spikes when we get like mainstream media coverage.

493
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 7: That's when it spikes.

494
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 6: That's when like all of a sudden, we get flooded

495
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 6: with like terrible death threats and just like called every

496
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 6: name in the book. Particularly, I would say it happens

497
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 6: mostly on Facebook, like these these Facebook trolls are like

498
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 6: a other like brand. It happens less on Instagram and

499
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 6: more on Facebook and in our emails, because our emails

500
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 6: are public because they're in you know, they're on our website.

501
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:53,159
Speaker 6: And so so whenever we get any kind of mainstream

502
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 6: media coverage, we expect to get the like the clowns

503
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,879
Speaker 6: come out, the trolls come out. So so anytime that happens,

504
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 6: we like prepare ourselves.

505
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,360
Speaker 7: And I think that the.

506
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 6: Things that we mainly hear are like, oh, you're raising

507
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 6: you're brainwashing kids, You're raising little racist like you're pimping

508
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 6: out kids, just like wild as wild wild accusations. Yeah,

509
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 6: it's really intense. And you know, at the very beginning,

510
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,439
Speaker 6: when we first got our biggest media coverage, it was

511
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 6: like like CBS ran something on us, and then oh,

512
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 6: who is that person from Fox?

513
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 7: Is it Hannity, Joe Hannity or something.

514
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 6: He's like the bill o, right, Kennedy, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

515
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,520
Speaker 6: So he invited us to be on his show.

516
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 4: Trap A trap, Yeah.

517
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 7: A trap.

518
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 6: Instantly we were like, what we're not gonna do is

519
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 6: go on, But they still ran the segment, and they

520
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 6: used coverage from another news media outlet, like an affiliate.

521
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 7: It was like a Fox affiliate, which we didn't know.

522
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 6: You know, all the things you learned where you're like,

523
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 6: you're not knowing this world, world. And so when that

524
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 6: coverage hit, that's.

525
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 7: When it was most intense.

526
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 6: And that's what actually someone even called a bumb threat

527
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 6: into my kids' school.

528
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 7: No, and so it was really really scary.

529
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 2: Oh, Sean Hannity, Yeah.

530
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 6: Sean Hannity, Sean Hannity, Yes, and so scary.

531
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 7: Yeah.

532
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 6: And what we've learned and what we still implement today

533
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 6: because of all this, all this, you know, terrible experience

534
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 6: we have had in the past is we never post

535
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,439
Speaker 6: what we are in real time, So we always post

536
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 6: after the fact as a safety percussion for our monarchs

537
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 6: because that's our number one priorities, keeping them safe.

538
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 3: Wow, thank you for sharing that.

539
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 4: That's intense.

540
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:46,879
Speaker 2: We over the years, we've got nothing that bad, nothing

541
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 2: like a bomb threat, but we have also received horrible

542
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 2: emails and death threats and rape threads trigger warning. So yeah,

543
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 2: and I think it has also coincided with there's been

544
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 2: an interview, there's something we've been highlighted somehow, and they're

545
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: like waiting, They're like laying in wait for something to

546
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 2: pounce on.

547
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

548
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, the most recent one wasn't It wasn't bad, but

549
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: it was it was funny. People got really upset about

550
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: our name, Like we had Spanish speakers, Spanish speakers emailing

551
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 1: us saying like we need to learn grammar and spelling

552
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: because it's actually and I'm like, well, no, that's you

553
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: didn't listen to the segment then, because we explained how

554
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: we flipped it, But okay, sure, yeah, go off.

555
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah. It seems like there's a lot of people out there.

556
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 2: I think that this sort of coincides with a lot

557
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:38,800
Speaker 2: of the hatred towards like gender affirming care for trans children, right,

558
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 2: people who like it's not their kids, They may not

559
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 2: even have kids, but they get very up in arms

560
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 2: about like children being brainwashed and like children you know,

561
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 2: and I don't know, is that sort of the energy

562
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,959
Speaker 2: that you guys have seen, is that what it is

563
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 2: that they're coming at you with when it happens.

564
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's definitely the energy.

565
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,719
Speaker 6: I would say that coupled with we're being exclusionary, like

566
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 6: why can't my white daughter join?

567
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 7: What about the white kids?

568
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 3: You know?

569
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 6: Like we get that a lot too, So I would

570
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,200
Speaker 6: say it's both those kind of energies that we get.

571
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 3: What is your stance on that as an organization, Like

572
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 3: what do you say?

573
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 7: We say no, what about.

574
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 3: Go to the brownians?

575
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 6: Oh my god, you know, we've gotten really good how

576
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 6: to answer this question because you've had to answer it

577
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 6: so much. And so what we typically say to people

578
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,399
Speaker 6: is radical monarchs came out of a very specific need

579
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 6: to center young girls and general expansive youth of color,

580
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 6: and so it wouldn't like and so because of that need,

581
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 6: this is what we are here to bring. This is

582
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 6: what we are here to serve, and we haven't quite

583
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 6: figured out where white allies fit into this picture. Yet.

584
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 6: You are more than welcome to create your own like

585
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:57,479
Speaker 6: affiliate no organization if you'd like to. But you know,

586
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 6: this came out of a very specific need of central

587
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 6: in young girls and kids of color, and so that's

588
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 6: what makes us unique.

589
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, they can always write a check, honey, they can

590
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 2: always make a donation.

591
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 7: Exactly exactly.

592
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 3: I love that so much.

593
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's like it's kind of like read the Room,

594
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 1: but also like I can imagine there are like these

595
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 1: you know, progressive white liberals that are like, you know,

596
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 1: they want to radicalize their children in that way or

597
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: like have them in this like more progressive group, but

598
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: also like read the Room. You know, there's so many

599
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: other places for y'all. Yeah, it's interesting how you navigate that.

600
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: And as your daughter, as Lupita has gotten older, she's

601
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 2: a whole adult now. Yeah, and the friendships that she

602
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 2: made in the Radical Monarchs, do you see those Like

603
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 2: do the kids stay with the program until they're teenagers?

604
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 2: Do they age out? Do they keep in touch? Like

605
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: I'm so, I mean, the Girl Scouts is a really

606
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: really old organization and this is almost the first generation

607
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 2: Lupite's like the first generation of the Radical Monarchs. And

608
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 2: so how has that worked as they've gotten older?

609
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, so we have. So Lupita's troop was our first

610
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 6: inaugural troop, and the first inaugural troop. Most of them

611
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 6: are either like in their second or first year in

612
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 6: college now wow, or they're graduating from high school like

613
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 6: this year or next year, so it is wild and

614
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 6: so of course as they've gotten older and as they

615
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,719
Speaker 6: graduated from the program, because so the way our program

616
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 6: works is it it's a cohort model. So the troop

617
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 6: is together for three years and after three years they graduate.

618
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 6: So for three years they're together as a troop, they

619
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 6: earned badges, and then they graduate. And then once they graduate,

620
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 6: we have alumni opportunities, so we have paid internships. So

621
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 6: we have many of our alums from Troop one and

622
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 6: Troop two have come back and been paid interns where

623
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 6: we pay them to work on our newsletter. There's an

624
00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 6: alumni newsletter. They help us on the socials, make it

625
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 6: the tik takis because we're not good at you know.

626
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 6: So we've also had our alumni interns fly with us

627
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 6: to observe the new troops, our new national troops, and

628
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 6: so they're able to come with us and observe them

629
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 6: and give feedback to the troop leaders about like what

630
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 6: they saw and what they liked and things they could

631
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 6: do differently. We also have our alumni involved in our hiring,

632
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 6: so whenever we bring on new troop leaders, we bring

633
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 6: on our alums to help interview them because they know

634
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 6: what they're looking for, because they've been a part of

635
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 6: the program and know what makes a good troop leader.

636
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 6: So we definitely are very much still engaged with our

637
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 6: alumni who have graduated from the program.

638
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 3: That's so cute.

639
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 4: That's so cute.

640
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 3: I love that so much.

641
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 4: That's so cute.

642
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: So pivoting a little bit, but still related to motherhood,

643
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: you know. I think one of the things one of

644
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: the reasons we wanted to talk about radical mothering one,

645
00:31:55,360 --> 00:32:00,479
Speaker 1: we've never really talked about motherhood, right, We're think so

646
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: like other than talking about our own mothers and the

647
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 1: ways like patriarchy like has affected women and mothers. Right,

648
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: I feel like in those ways, we've definitely talked about motherhood,

649
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: but we ort least me, I've noticed, like, a we've

650
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: grown up, our listeners have grown up. Some of them

651
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 1: are becoming mothers, right.

652
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 3: I know some of my friends are talking about.

653
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: Becoming mothers, and so we're like, Okay, we need to

654
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: have like a radical mothering episode. Yeah, And so that

655
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 1: was one of the reasons, aside from all the incredible

656
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: work that you do, Like, to me, you have like

657
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: been this person that has really modeled like what it

658
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: means to be a radical parent, a radical mother, And

659
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: so how has your idea of motherhood changed over the years.

660
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 3: Like at the top of the episode, you said.

661
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 1: I knew I was I wanted to do everything different, right,

662
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: But I know you also have a really close relationship

663
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: with your own mom. So how have you balanced those

664
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: two of having this close relationship, wanting to do things

665
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: differently and honoring like who you are in this moment.

666
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 6: I think that it's a work in progress. I think

667
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 6: that therapy has been really helpful for me and being

668
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 6: able to unpack what are things that I have learned

669
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 6: from my mother that I want to unravel and cycles

670
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 6: that I want to break, and then also what are

671
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 6: things that I really love that I inherited from my

672
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 6: mother that I want to continue and I want.

673
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 7: To share with my own children.

674
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 6: And so I think it's constantly a work in progress.

675
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 6: It's constantly it kind of like sorting of like what

676
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 6: serves me what doesn't you know? And I'm constantly kind

677
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 6: of looking at like, okay, like there are ways in

678
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 6: which my mom mother that actually really didn't serve me, right,

679
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 6: And I find myself in a trap where I start

680
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 6: seeing that I'm doing those same things, and I'm like, Okay, no, wait,

681
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 6: stop pivot. Like what I'm not going to do is

682
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 6: continue these cycles, right, And so I think it's just

683
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 6: it's a constant thing, and I think that it's it's

684
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 6: a part of the work. And I think that I

685
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 6: am grateful that I have an amazing therapist. I think

686
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 6: that I'm really grateful. Especially I think what was really

687
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 6: hard for me too, was it because I was a

688
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 6: young mother. A lot of what you see now wasn't

689
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 6: available to me back in the day. You know, Like

690
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 6: I always tell my boo who my boo recently had

691
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 6: a baby, right who is now?

692
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:21,879
Speaker 7: She just turned two.

693
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 6: Yesterday, And I'm like, oh my god, Like when I

694
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 6: had kids, like you would not find a lactation room,

695
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:30,280
Speaker 6: a like, you know, like none of that shit.

696
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,959
Speaker 7: I kind of figure that shit out, Like I was.

697
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,600
Speaker 6: In bathrooms, on toilet seats, breastfeeding my kid, like the

698
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 6: and the world is still completely not catering or not

699
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 6: like in favor of like you know, mothering or parenting.

700
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 4: Right.

701
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 6: But I am so grateful to see what kinds of

702
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,799
Speaker 6: resources are available now because I didn't have that, and

703
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 6: as a young mother, I was really just kind of

704
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 6: lost and trying to figure shit out, you know.

705
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 7: And I was also a student.

706
00:34:58,120 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 6: I went to grad school when luk At that was

707
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 6: months old, and then I had my son when I

708
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,800
Speaker 6: graduated from grad school, so I had like two kids,

709
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 6: you know, like by the time I get out of

710
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 6: grad school. And so I think that I love seeing

711
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 6: all the content that is available to us now online

712
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 6: and the types of conversations, and so I think that

713
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,760
Speaker 6: I'm also someone that's constantly learning, you know, even though

714
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 6: I am a mother of a nineteen or seventeen year old,

715
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 6: I'm not like I have it all figured out. Like

716
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 6: I'm very much like looking for other other resources and

717
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 6: other parents and other moms that are having conversations about

718
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,879
Speaker 6: things that I feel like I also need to hear

719
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 6: or learn.

720
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 2: This is fascinating because I'm curious now that reflection about

721
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,359
Speaker 2: what was available to you and what wasn't and how

722
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 2: it informed your own mother ing. Does that lead you

723
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:48,959
Speaker 2: to reflect on what was available to your mother and

724
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 2: what wasn't available to your mother and how that you know,

725
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 2: impacted or was reflected in her mothering of you.

726
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 6: One hundred percent on thousand percent, Yeah, I'll have conversations

727
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 6: with my mom all the time now, you know, in

728
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 6: reflecting about her motherhood and about you know, her relationship

729
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 6: with my father for example, and you know, she'll tend

730
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 6: to like really kind of get down on herself and

731
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,759
Speaker 6: apologize and she'll just be like, I'm so sorry, miha,

732
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 6: Like I'm so sorry, Like I should have done X

733
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 6: y Z, I should have done this better, I should

734
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 6: have left your father sooner. You know, she has said

735
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 6: these things to me, and I'm like, mommy, it is okay,

736
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 6: Like you were doing the best that you could do

737
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 6: with what you had, with what you had available to you.

738
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 6: And so it definitely has opened up a space or

739
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 6: of empathy right for my own mother as well, and

740
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 6: I think it has also caused her to have more

741
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 6: empathy for her own mother.

742
00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:42,319
Speaker 7: Right.

743
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 6: So there's that saying, right that we feel ourselves we

744
00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 6: heal seven generations.

745
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,760
Speaker 7: I'm like, oh my god, here it is and it's happening.

746
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 7: Action mode. Yeah, it's happening.

747
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 3: That's so beautiful.

748
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, that's so powerful because it's like it's not just,

749
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: of course, we do the work for ourselves to be

750
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 1: better people and to be a better verse universals, but

751
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 1: we really are healing like the family line. Like it's

752
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,840
Speaker 1: not just some cheesy instagram saying, you know, like we

753
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: really are healing the family lines if you're like the

754
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: chosen one to be the like cycle breaker.

755
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 6: Honestly, yeah, And I think that one of the most

756
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 6: beautiful things that I've been able to witness now is

757
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 6: seeing that in my own children, you know, and so like,

758
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 6: there'll be times, you know, Lupita now lives on.

759
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 7: Her own, she lives on her own in Oakland.

760
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 3: I can't believe.

761
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I know it is wild.

762
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 6: It is wild, and sometimes well she called me like

763
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 6: three times a day first of all.

764
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 1: But.

765
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 6: There was one time where, you know, she called me.

766
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 6: We were talking because we're incredibly close, and she was like,

767
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 6: oh my god, you're not gonna believe what happened. And

768
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 6: she tells me this like wild story and I'm like,

769
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 6: oh my god, like and it happened like the week before.

770
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 7: I was like, why didn't you tell me?

771
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 6: She's like, Mommy, I'm trying to hold healthy boundaries and

772
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,759
Speaker 6: I don't want to put stuff on you and I

773
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 6: wanted to figure it out on my own.

774
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 7: And I was.

775
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 6: Just like, wow, damn, thank God, Like it it was

776
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,320
Speaker 6: just so yeah, I don't even know what to say.

777
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 7: Like, I was just blown away. I was like, wow, wow, wow.

778
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,919
Speaker 2: And you modeled that. Yeah, you modeled that. She knows

779
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 2: that she can come to you if she really really

780
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:19,280
Speaker 2: really needs your help, but she's also learning to be

781
00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 2: independent and handle things on her own.

782
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:22,240
Speaker 7: Yeah.

783
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 6: She was like, you carry so much. I wanted, like,

784
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 6: I don't want to put everything on you. I have

785
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,440
Speaker 6: my she has her own therapist. And she was like,

786
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 6: and I needed I wanted to work this out on

787
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 6: my own and not stress you out and not put

788
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 6: that on you. And I was just kind of like,

789
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 6: oh my gosh, Like it's just something that I never

790
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 6: imagine was even possible.

791
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 3: That's so beautiful.

792
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 1: So, Anivetta, in addition to being this wonderful queer mother

793
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: of color and the co founder of the Radical Monarchs,

794
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 1: you are also in a really beautiful relationship that we

795
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 1: admire from afar And so I wanted to ask you

796
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 1: about like creating your chosen family, creating a family with

797
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 1: someone where you're not necessarily co parenting but you kind

798
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: of are but kind of not. So can you tell

799
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 1: us more about that?

800
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 6: Yes, Oh my gosh, So when my boo, when I

801
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 6: first met It was like one of our first dates.

802
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 6: She was like, you know, I really want to be

803
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 6: a parent, I really want to be a mother. And

804
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 6: I instantly was like, oh, this ain't going to work.

805
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,759
Speaker 7: I I have already done this.

806
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 6: I am almost out of this, Like my kids are

807
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 6: like you know, in their late teens. And so I

808
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 6: was like, there's no way you couldn't pay me to

809
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 6: start over, Like a girl is tired, like.

810
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:41,240
Speaker 7: I am tired.

811
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:45,439
Speaker 6: But something told me like wait a minute, Like, one,

812
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 6: she's not asking anything of you, right, She's just saying

813
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 6: what she.

814
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 7: Wants for herself.

815
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 6: And two like who knows if it's even gonna happen, right,

816
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:54,840
Speaker 6: Like who knows?

817
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 7: Right?

818
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 6: So we began dating right before the pandemic hit. Then

819
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 6: a pandemic hit, and like everything was kind of like

820
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 6: no one knew what was going on, and so that

821
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 6: conversation didn't come up again. And then we, in the meantime,

822
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 6: you know, started to really solidify as a really.

823
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 7: Beautiful, deep relationship.

824
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 6: Right, which was very unexpected. I wasn't looking to be

825
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,280
Speaker 6: in a long term relationship. I wasn't looking for love

826
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 6: at all at that time. I had just come out

827
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 6: of an almost twenty year relationship with an ex, and

828
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,200
Speaker 6: I had taken a year after that separation to just

829
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,319
Speaker 6: really heal and grieve and let go, and so I

830
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,879
Speaker 6: was like, I'm never getting a long term relationship again.

831
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,399
Speaker 7: I'm never getting married again. I just want to date

832
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 7: and have lover. It's like that's it.

833
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 6: But then the pandemic slowed everything down and we fell

834
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 6: in love and two years after because we're like still

835
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 6: in this pandemic, right, So like two years after us

836
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 6: linking up, in April of twenty twenty, my boo was like,

837
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 6: I still really want to have a baby, and I

838
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:06,320
Speaker 6: was like, damn okay, Like who am I to tell you?

839
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 6: Like no, like this is like your dream to be

840
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 6: a mother. And so we had some really hard and

841
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 6: really really hard and really honest conversations about what that

842
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 6: would look like. And the conversations were just kind of continuous,

843
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 6: and you know, I was very clear and that I

844
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 6: wasn't going to stand in her way in any way

845
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 6: or form. I was going to support her, and that

846
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 6: I really needed to feel like I didn't have a

847
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 6: whole other child to raise, and so you know, we

848
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:42,280
Speaker 6: made some insemination magic happen. I'm an official fan baby daddies,

849
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 6: I like to say, and it was a one and

850
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 6: done sharpshooter, and.

851
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 7: The baby came and the baby.

852
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 6: Is here and it's beautiful. I also feel like, so okay,

853
00:41:56,120 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 6: so I also feel like experiencing motherhood in this way,

854
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 6: not as the direct mother, has also been.

855
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 7: Healing from my own motherhood.

856
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 6: And so the baby calls her mama because that's mama,

857
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 6: Like that's who birthed you, that is your mama. And

858
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:14,720
Speaker 6: then she calls me mammy Thiiti.

859
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,839
Speaker 3: It's my favorite. That's my feah thing in the world. Honestly, Yeah,

860
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,359
Speaker 3: whenever you post that, I'm like.

861
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 7: Oh, yeah, yeah, because my boo is Puerto Rican.

862
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 6: So everyone's tie thi, right, like every like you know,

863
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 6: like every chosen thea is thi Thi. And so I

864
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,879
Speaker 6: was like, I don't want to just be Thithi because

865
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 6: I'm not going to just be thifi, you know, like

866
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 6: I'm aa love this baby like this is like you know,

867
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 6: but I'm also not mama, and so I was like,

868
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 6: what about mammy Thithi? And so I just kind of

869
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 6: made up that term and went with it. And the

870
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 6: minute the baby was able to put those like syllables

871
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 6: together and say, I just like melted and so I'm

872
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 6: like forever mammy thithi. And it's the perfect way to

873
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 6: kind of describe my relationship to her, Right, I am

874
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 6: like a mother figure, but I'm also kind of like

875
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:01,959
Speaker 6: a deepie.

876
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 7: Figure, right, like her mama is her mama.

877
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 6: And so I think that's really important to me because

878
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 6: I'm tired. I've been doing this for nineteen years, and

879
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 6: so the thought of having to like have the responsibility

880
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 6: of raising a whole other child, especially because with my

881
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 6: own children I did a lot of the parenting myself.

882
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 6: That feels exhausting. I don't get that in this situation, right, So,

883
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 6: like g is the main mama, Like when that baby

884
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 6: wakes up, it is her who is picking up that baby,

885
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 6: Like it is her who is leading all the like

886
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 6: all the things, right, But I am one hundred percent

887
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 6: there in support. Of course, I'm with the baby. I

888
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 6: love the baby. I'll help out with the baby, but

889
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 6: it is not my full responsibility. And I think that,

890
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,759
Speaker 6: like I mentioned earlier, I think that that has felt

891
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 6: really healing for my young for my like young mother self,

892
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 6: because I felt like I had to do everything. I

893
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 6: felt like I had to hold everything for so long

894
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 6: with my kids, and so to be in a relationship

895
00:43:59,239 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 6: with a little one who is you know, my.

896
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,680
Speaker 7: Booze baby and our baby and.

897
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 6: Not feel like it's all on me feels like I

898
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 6: get to finally just like enjoy enjoy being like a

899
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,400
Speaker 6: mom and not have to like worry to death about

900
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 6: a through zi things that need to get done.

901
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 3: Yeah. I love that.

902
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you don't hear that very often, you know,

903
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 2: Like I mean, I think we've talked about this on

904
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,879
Speaker 2: the podcast before, but the unequal division of labor when

905
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 2: it comes to parenting in motherhood. You just talked about

906
00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:32,080
Speaker 2: it with your own young motherhood experience. So I just

907
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 2: I don't know that I've met a mother figure mother

908
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 2: who has you can enjoy the child, like you're saying,

909
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 2: without being the you know, Sufreira and giving away your

910
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: whole life to dedicate to raise this child. And it's

911
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 2: that sort of thing where like you get it's like

912
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 2: the best the best parts, You get to experience the

913
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,320
Speaker 2: best parts one hundred percent.

914
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 7: That's how it feels.

915
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is like it encompasses like that the

916
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 1: feeling where it's like okay, your mind but Also they're

917
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: going back to your mom.

918
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 3: You know, I'm giving you back.

919
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 7: Yes, I get to give this one back, Yes, because mine,

920
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 7: like I can't do that. I have never been able

921
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 7: to do that. So it feels.

922
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 6: Yeah, it feels so healing and so different. So I'm

923
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,360
Speaker 6: really thankful for this experience.

924
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: Fabulous, and thank you for sharing.

925
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 7: Absolutely of course.

926
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think our listeners are going to love that

927
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:26,320
Speaker 2: story that you just shared.

928
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't know if it's just my algorithm

929
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 1: or like I mentioned earlier, like my friends are really

930
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:37,120
Speaker 1: talking about becoming mothers in like very real ways, especially in.

931
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 3: The coming years.

932
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: We're definitely not on that timeline, Mala, you and I

933
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: right now, but we see others around us, and so

934
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,879
Speaker 1: it feels like, I don't know how it feels for

935
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 1: you because you're you know, like you said, your your

936
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 1: kids are in their late teens. But I feel like

937
00:45:56,200 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: there is so there's so much conversation about whether or

938
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: not to be a mother, you know, I feel like

939
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 1: people are really interrogating it in ways that I've never

940
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 1: seen before. And I don't, like I said, I don't

941
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: know if it's just because I'm now at this age

942
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 1: and everybody around me is talking about it, or if

943
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,600
Speaker 1: there really is like a shift happening where it's like,

944
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,440
Speaker 1: you know what, I actually have a choice in this.

945
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:19,960
Speaker 1: I actually don't have to, but I can if I

946
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: want to, and if I don't want to, I also

947
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: can can do that.

948
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think there's definitely been a shift one hundred

949
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:30,320
Speaker 6: percent because I feel like, you know, on one side,

950
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:32,399
Speaker 6: I was a young mother, and so it was hard

951
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 6: for me because I felt very like like none of

952
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 6: my none of my friends had kids, like I've I've

953
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 6: been the only friends with kids for a very long time,

954
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 6: Like it's like my friends just now are starting to

955
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,959
Speaker 6: have kids, if at all. But I feel like I've

956
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 6: always been the kind of mother too where I've never

957
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 6: sugarcoated motherhood, Like from the very beginning, I was like,

958
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 6: this shit is hard, this shit is not cute, like

959
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 6: breastfeeding sucks, like like you know, like I've always been

960
00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:01,759
Speaker 6: like it's really important to like to to kind of

961
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:05,840
Speaker 6: like break up the narrative about how motherhood comes naturally

962
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:09,360
Speaker 6: as well. Like I also, I have often said that

963
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 6: I don't feel like I came into my motherhood truly

964
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 6: until I had my second.

965
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 7: Born, like I did, I didn't.

966
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,359
Speaker 6: It didn't come naturally to me to be a mother

967
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 6: with my first firm, Lupita, Like it was hard.

968
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 7: I was tired. I was like what am I doing?

969
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:20,840
Speaker 4: You know?

970
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 6: And it wasn't until later that I started to hear

971
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 6: and meet folks who were like, yeah, like I don't

972
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 6: want to have kids, like and I would be like,

973
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 6: that's great, that is like good for you.

974
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,759
Speaker 7: I'm glad that you know that.

975
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 6: And I am glad that, like, yes, like it is

976
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 6: not what you see on TV at all whatsoever. But

977
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 6: I feel like that was very rare, and I feel

978
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 6: like the reactions people would have to that were very like, oh,

979
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:47,320
Speaker 6: something's wrong with them, like they don't want to have kids,

980
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 6: like you know.

981
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 7: And I feel like now I love that there's so.

982
00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 6: Much dialogue around, like people proudly being like, I, you know,

983
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 6: I am choosing to not have kids because X y

984
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 6: Z reason Like I'm just like, like I live for it.

985
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 6: I'm like, hell yes, Like some of my staff feel

986
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 6: that way. And I'm always like whenever we do those

987
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:07,919
Speaker 6: of us that do have kids, when we talk, they're

988
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 6: just like, y'all ain't selling it.

989
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 7: For me, And I'm like, I'm not trying to sell

990
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 7: you nothing, and like, I love that. I love that.

991
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,399
Speaker 6: I definitely feel like there's been a shift, and I'm

992
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 6: so thankful. I'm so thankful for that. I think that

993
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 6: conversation is well deserved and needed.

994
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 2: Anaevett, thank you so much for joining us today and

995
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 2: for sharing all the gems that you have shared. You

996
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:34,359
Speaker 2: mentioned earlier that there are Radical Monarch chapters all over

997
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 2: the country now, and so I'm curious if there's somebody

998
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 2: out there that wants to start a Radical Monarchs chapter

999
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:42,879
Speaker 2: in their city, in their town, what do they do,

1000
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: how do they start?

1001
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 4: Where should they look?

1002
00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,920
Speaker 6: Yes, so we are now at the point where every

1003
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,280
Speaker 6: fall we launch a new cohort of Radical Monarch troops.

1004
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 6: Like every year we're just like launching them. So I

1005
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:59,320
Speaker 6: would say to look at our Instagram, follow us on Instagram,

1006
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:01,839
Speaker 6: which is you know, at Radical Monarchs, because that's where

1007
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 6: we do most of our work and our callouts. And

1008
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 6: so in the fall, we have an info session where

1009
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,919
Speaker 6: anyone who's interested to start their own Radical Monarch troupe

1010
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 6: will join in the zoom a zoom call and then

1011
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 6: we basically give you all the information about starting your

1012
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 6: own troop and then you can apply to be a

1013
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 6: troop leader and then we go through the application process.

1014
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: I love that. And if someone wants to join an

1015
00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 1: existing troop like you mentioned La Long Beach, Oakland right

1016
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 1: and other parts of the country. If there's an existing chapter,

1017
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 1: how can folks join that one.

1018
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 6: The best way to join that one would be to

1019
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 6: go to our website and to email us and to

1020
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 6: let us know which troop you are interested in joining,

1021
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 6: and we can let you know whether there is space

1022
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 6: in that troop or not.

1023
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 3: I love that. Thank you so much for everything.

1024
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: Thank you for all the work that you do, for

1025
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:51,280
Speaker 1: your vulnerability or honesty. This is such a great interview.

1026
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,479
Speaker 7: Thank you so much, Jo, Thank you so much.

1027
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 1: Thank you to Annavette Martinez for joining us. Thank you

1028
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: to the Radical Monarchs for all the incredible work that

1029
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,279
Speaker 1: they're doing. And we will catch you next time. Lokomotives,

1030
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 1: we hope to see you on June eighth.

1031
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 3: You don't want to.

1032
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 7: Miss itos.

1033
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 1: Lokata Radio is executive produced by Viosa Fem and Mala Munios.

1034
00:50:14,719 --> 00:50:16,280
Speaker 4: Stephanie Franco is our.

1035
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 1: Producer, Story editing by Me Viosa.

1036
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,720
Speaker 2: Creative direction by Me Mala Look.

1037
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:25,320
Speaker 1: At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Dura podcast Network.

1038
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,400
Speaker 2: You can listen to Loka to a radio on the

1039
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

1040
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 1: Leave us a review and share with your prima or

1041
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: share with your homegirls.

1042
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 2: And thank you to our locomotives, to our listeners for

1043
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 2: tuning in each and every week.

1044
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 1: Besitos Loka Loon