1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Danny and Samantha and welcome to stuff. 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 1: I never told you production about iHeart Radio. I was 3 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 1: a little gruffy, there was it. I was not you 4 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:30,479 Speaker 1: meff Oh you know what gruffy is definitely a word. Well, 5 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: gruffy is just fine for this Happy Hour episode, which 6 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: is going to be a fun, interesting one. But I 7 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: do want to put a content morning in here. We 8 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: are going to be talking about sex toys, yes today, 9 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: so you know you might want to take a listen 10 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: if there's any younger people in your life that also listen, 11 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: which is so cool and hello, but you know, maybe 12 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: give it a listen before you let them check it out. 13 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 1: And he says, I it is with these Happy Hour episodes. 14 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us. Drink responsibly if you choose 15 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: to do so. Samantha, what are you sipping on? I 16 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: decided to just be real. Is it basic for me 17 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 1: to do rum and diet coke with a little splash 18 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: of lime? Is that basically it sounds good to me? 19 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: Basic or not? It sounds lovely. I just see a 20 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: little something peppy like caffeine to go with the liquor portion. 21 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,680 Speaker 1: But yes, this is what I'm drinking. For my winter cocktail. 22 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: That's not I think it's a cocktail all the way. 23 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:39,479 Speaker 1: I in my continuing effort to get rid of some 24 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 1: things that I have a lot of them, drinking bourbon 25 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:51,640 Speaker 1: and contro quintro contrue orange liqueur and lime and soda water. 26 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 1: Which is interesting because, as I told Samantha, my landlord, 27 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: my water is off and it has been off for 28 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: about two days. It so he turns it back on 29 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: at night. But yes, yes, so it's like a real 30 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:15,519 Speaker 1: planning gang of things. Uh So, anyway, it's gonna be 31 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 1: an interesting day for me because he I went to 32 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: go fill up my water and totally forgot. I can't 33 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: do it, can't do it right now. But yes, we 34 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: are talking about sex toys today, and this was on 35 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:35,359 Speaker 1: my mind because I was just thinking something we talked 36 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: about it past episode. I can't remember what, but it 37 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:42,559 Speaker 1: made me think about my experience buying my first sex toy, 38 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: and I was curious if that was most people's experiences. 39 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: So I have said before, I did not know women 40 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:58,079 Speaker 1: could masturbate until college. Um, I think that's very demonstrative 41 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: as to how little we talk about women's pleasure and 42 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 1: women's bodies. But I did not know it was the thing. 43 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,359 Speaker 1: And then when I was in college, I was going 44 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: to move to China, and a friend in China said, advice, 45 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: BI sex story and bring it with you. And so 46 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: I asked all of these women at a party for 47 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: their advice, and they all had these recommendations and all 48 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: these things I should look for. I happened to live 49 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:31,639 Speaker 1: across the street to my parents extreme displeasure from an 50 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:35,000 Speaker 1: insurrection sex toy store, and the night I would see 51 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: the blue and pink flashing lights, and so I went 52 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: over there and I was just completely overwhelmed. And I 53 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: went with two friends, but I was just like, I'm 54 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,360 Speaker 1: pretty sure, very obvious that I'd never been before, that 55 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: I didn't really know what I was doing. And I 56 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: chose something that was in my price range that looked easy, 57 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,840 Speaker 1: easy to operate. And when I checked out, the place 58 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: was drawn by a man and he was kind of 59 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: following me around as I was shopping and putting things out, 60 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 1: and it made me really uncomfortable, to be honest, And 61 00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: when I was checking out, um, he showed me how 62 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: to operate it and like put in the batteries and 63 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: did the whole thing, and I was just so embarrassed, 64 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,359 Speaker 1: and he was he was giving a smile that like, 65 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:23,839 Speaker 1: I don't know if I was reading too much into it, 66 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 1: but felt very like leering looking back. And I was 67 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: just thinking about that experience, and actually the six story 68 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 1: turned out to be great, Um, it was a great purchase, 69 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,919 Speaker 1: but just thinking about that experience of buying it, and 70 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 1: I was like, I wonder if that's kind of what 71 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: the situation is. Because they have been since then, obviously 72 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 1: to other obviously to other sex story stores, and I've 73 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: had some different experiences, and I've just felt better when 74 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: it's women who were the person selling, selling me on something, 75 00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: or telling me about something. But what do you mind 76 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: sharing your first experience buying a sex story? So at 77 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,720 Speaker 1: the so I have two different stories because I absolutely 78 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: knew about masturbation because I was very sexualized at a 79 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: very young age. We know this conversation moving on. However, 80 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 1: my first actual experience in a sex shop was in 81 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: Paris and I went with a super nice guy. He 82 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: was in my hostel room, and it was really funny 83 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,080 Speaker 1: because this whole story was I went to bed, no 84 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,359 Speaker 1: one was in there. I woke up, dude was staring 85 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,160 Speaker 1: at me. Shirtless, and I was like, what the hell 86 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: is happening and he was like, hey, there, how are you? 87 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,599 Speaker 1: Very sweet, very gay, young white dude who just came 88 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:48,359 Speaker 1: by himself and was so excited to meet somebody. Turns 89 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: out he was so nice. We became really good friends. 90 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 1: I think this was my second time through. I was 91 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: trying to leave France at this point. They trying to 92 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: leave Europe and go back home. So I've gone through 93 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: Paris only back to Paris to England, and this was 94 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 1: my second round through with the same hostile I've been 95 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 1: at before because I had such a great experience there. 96 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: They're super nice, and before then I had only had 97 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: one roommate. This one had like three or four, and 98 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: I was very confused about what was happening. And he 99 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: was so nice and he was like, we gotta go 100 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: do these things. And we had to go look because 101 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: the French openings were happening. So he's like, I need 102 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: to see I think it was Andy Roddick at this time. 103 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: He's like, I got I got a little cost shirt too, 104 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 1: and I just need to see if I can see him. 105 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: He was so excited, so we went there and then 106 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,800 Speaker 1: I was talking about pretty much my naive experience of like, 107 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: I cannot believe we're this close to the red light 108 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: district and we were like within I think we were 109 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: in that community. We were in that area, and he 110 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, yeah, have you looked at 111 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 1: the sex shops? I was like, I've never gone to one. 112 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 1: Of course, he felt very horrified that a college graduate 113 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: had never been to a sex shop, so he immediately 114 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: took me in, and I was so horrified, so like, 115 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: because off again Paris red Light district, they market this 116 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: as being sexually open to everything, and obviously the tourists 117 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 1: know this area, so they're gonna pump up that whole 118 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,520 Speaker 1: thing even more when in IM not gonna lie. I 119 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: blacked out. I can't exactly remember what was in there 120 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: because he was laughing at me the entire time, and 121 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: I was trying to get the apt so that I 122 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: didn't buy anything, because there was no way in hell 123 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy a virator, put it in my suitcase 124 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: and have someone searched through it, not doing it, not 125 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 1: doing it. So I didn't buy anything there. But the 126 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: experience was so great that, like, even though it was 127 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: so mortified at that time, so great I wouldn't change 128 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: that for a minute. Then I came into the US, 129 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 1: I really started thinking about my life, realized I've missed 130 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: some opportunities, kind of talked about roommate about it. My 131 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: roommate actually got me one. That's how we first started 132 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: because she was like, girl, girl, let me help you, 133 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: let me help you out. And it was great. It 134 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: was great. It was very basic, and every since then 135 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: I have never actually, now that I thinking about it, 136 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: I bought it in person. Everything is through mail for me, 137 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: and I've had some hit or missus. I will say 138 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 1: that I have as well. Um, I definitely have one 139 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: that was like highly recommended to me, but it's a 140 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: little too complicated for me. But I mean, as I've 141 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: said though, like not that I'm not open to exploring, 142 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: because I am, but I'm pretty like I can get 143 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:31,080 Speaker 1: off pretty easy for a good amount of time. Yeah, 144 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,199 Speaker 1: I can't help it. Look, I can't help it. Superpower 145 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: it is. It is one of my favorite pictures. If 146 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,720 Speaker 1: you know, if we were a different network, not a 147 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: different network, a different show, i'd share it. But one 148 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: of my favorite pictures I've ever taken was I went 149 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,559 Speaker 1: to this Harry Potter party and I was dressed this 150 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: her mine, and somehow in the night we ended up 151 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: at a sex story shop at the end, and so 152 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 1: I'm dressed this her mine in this sex story shop, 153 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 1: and I have a picture that I just happened to 154 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: snap at the perfect moment where I look so like 155 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: innocent and cute as her bonny and my friend is 156 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:12,960 Speaker 1: vomiting right by all these vibrators love it. It was 157 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: quite a night. Now, I will say we've done past 158 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 1: episodes past us have done past episodes, and we've done 159 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: past episodes on the history of the vibrator, some of 160 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: the current issues. And we talked to the founder of 161 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: oh Say um, which is a type of sex toy, 162 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 1: and I hesitate because when in that conversation we talked 163 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 1: about why that term is problematic and kind of dismissive 164 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: of women's pleasure UM, and that's just something like we're 165 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 1: going to use that term, but that is a converse 166 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: station about like better terms that we could have. Also, 167 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 1: I was thinking about marital aids, like that's kind of 168 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: um an exclusionary and interesting term right for a lot 169 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 1: of this because again it hinges on like you have 170 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: to be married and then we're gonna talk a little 171 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: more about it, but the morality stuff about it, and 172 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: so if you rename it, maybe it's okay. Type of conversation. Um, 173 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: I know in the state of Georgia is complicated in itself. 174 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,679 Speaker 1: But yeah, I know people who after they got married 175 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,719 Speaker 1: it felt free to do such things, but buying it beforehand, 176 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: and part of my shame factor and not buying anything 177 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: and fearing myself out when it came to toys and 178 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: such is because we are taught in religious background that 179 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,959 Speaker 1: this is a no no, a huge no no, and 180 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: for women even more so. And so this whole level 181 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,679 Speaker 1: of shame factor in it. Yes, and by renaming it 182 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: nal Aids Against Commission, m hmm, it's such a weird, 183 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: like albeit purposeful technique to give someone permission you enjoy 184 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: themselves right right, right right, And that that again also 185 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: just implies like, you know, marriage is the only space 186 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: you should be having this kind of pleasure and this 187 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: kind of sex or yeah, any kind of any kind 188 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: of sexual experience. So when I had this question, my 189 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: main question was like, what is it in these sex shops? 190 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:37,439 Speaker 1: Are they are they mostly run by men? Are they sexist? Um? 191 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, Yeah, pretty much, but we did want to 192 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: briefly go over some of the history very quickly, and 193 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: then some of the things that are going on now, 194 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: because despite a history of obstacles, sex toys are a 195 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: very big business. UM. A lot of times the policies 196 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 1: of banks and payment processing services don't allow anything in 197 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: the vicinity of adult oriented businesses is to use their service. 198 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: This hasn't stopped the industry, though, and the retail market 199 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 1: is estimated to be well on its way to being 200 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 1: worth fifty billion dollars. On top of that, popular properties 201 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: like broad City have their own sex stories, oh, their 202 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: own sex way lines. UM Target sells them now. I 203 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: know that made the news recently, and I believe a 204 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: couple of years ago I told this story. But I 205 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 1: was at home with my mom and we were getting 206 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: ready for Christmas and looking at this magazine she'd gotten 207 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: in the mail, and it was like lawnmower like all 208 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,680 Speaker 1: this stuff, you know, And then we flip a page 209 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 1: and it's entire two pages of vibrators, and I took 210 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:46,199 Speaker 1: a picture. I still have it because it was so surprising. Oh, 211 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 1: I mean, they've gone mainstream. Did your mom react? Oh? Yeah, 212 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: she did. She did but she was very much like, wow, 213 00:12:55,760 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: all right, good for the ladies, get what you need. Yeah, yeah. 214 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: So sex toys were first introduced directly to consumers in 215 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: the US at the beginning of the twentieth century, though 216 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: they were sold under euphemistic labels, often medical in nature. 217 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,320 Speaker 1: We part of this and promising to improve a blood flow, which, 218 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 1: by the way, still kind of happens today, whether it's 219 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 1: a discrete packaging. I know it's a term. I hear 220 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: a lot when in referencing any of the sex toys 221 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: adult toys instead of saying sex because you don't want 222 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 1: to say sex, right right, Yeah, I mean we we 223 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 1: do hear a lot about the medical benefits, but now 224 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 1: that's much more of a like plus sexual pleasure, there 225 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,679 Speaker 1: are medical benefits. But yeah, it was they were all 226 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 1: kinds of ads that were much more like trying to 227 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: hide what it was and being like, oh, this is 228 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: from medical purposes only. Uh. This started to change with 229 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 1: the sexual Revolution in the nineteen sixties, and people didn't 230 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: feel the need to hide hid anymore, or they want 231 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: to hide any more of the people often still had 232 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: to go into the so called red light districts to 233 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 1: get sex toys, The growing sex toy adult novelty industry 234 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,160 Speaker 1: as it was called, was unsurprisingly ran by men. In 235 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,440 Speaker 1: nineteen seventy six, the Doc Johnson brand Dad of California, 236 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 1: led by the then most successful pornographer in the US, 237 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 1: launched and quickly became a go to. Oh so many 238 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 1: euphemisms that would be cautious though so at the time, 239 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 1: a majority of the sex toys available were intended for 240 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: women or couples. Aside from blow up dolls and pocket 241 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: pussies the flesh Light, uh, they were not at all 242 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,800 Speaker 1: marketed that way. In the words of Hailey Lieberman, a 243 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: dildo ographer with a PhD in the History of sex toys, 244 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,160 Speaker 1: she says, a lot of the packaging was mail directed 245 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 1: in the nineteen sixties and the nineteen seventies, with sixty 246 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 1: women on it. Not surprising even the packaging of sex 247 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: toys and geared towards homosexual men. So the men who 248 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: didn't care about women women on it. Uh. And no 249 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,040 Speaker 1: matter the product or the intended audience, the advertising and 250 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: packaging was laced with sexism and it's still kind of is. 251 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: But women in feminism started to get a foothold in 252 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,760 Speaker 1: the industry and more and more like the feminist vibr 253 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: or business Eve's Garden and the first sex positive and 254 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: women friendly store, Good Vibrations. Where do we have anywhere 255 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: near us Good Vibrations? I don't know, we said, looking 256 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,880 Speaker 1: just look into it, because all I see is Tokyo Valentino, 257 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: which took over Insurrection, which sounds very the Asian fetish 258 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 1: level of marketing, and I hate it, hate it. I 259 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: hate it. So in the nineteen eighties at home sex 260 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: toy parties, I started to become popular. I did go 261 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: to one of those. I forgot about that. Did you 262 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: go to one of those? Two? Yeah? I was so 263 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: naive and I think I hadn't had sex yet. They 264 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,240 Speaker 1: really really the people who threw it did it for me, 265 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: and they said, like they really really found joy and 266 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: seeing how embarrassed I was, and so anytime they needed 267 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: to demonstrate something and I'm when I say demonstrate something, 268 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 1: it was a very sanitary. Uh, they were trying to 269 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 1: get me to do it. I'm like, why are you 270 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: doing this to me? Obviously I'm not the one, right, Yeah, 271 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 1: I think the wee Day it was a bridle, so 272 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 1: like a bachelor red type of thing or something, and uh, 273 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 1: I brought some lube and I have never used, but 274 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: I do still have it. I'm trying to remember if 275 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: I bought anything. I think it was just so embarrassed 276 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: because one of the things that I do remember them 277 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 1: giving out was the thing that's supposed to uh allow 278 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: you to have oral sex and not get like a 279 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 1: flavor numbing agent that was supposed to help you. And 280 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: I remember like we all kind of tasted it and 281 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: it did like none of you a little bit. But 282 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 1: I was like, what what is this? So that a 283 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: lot of things I do remember that, Yeah, miss game, 284 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,359 Speaker 1: if I remember it correctly, I mean, always look into 285 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:33,480 Speaker 1: those kinds of things. Silicon and sex stories became popular 286 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: by the nineties. Reuben Sterman, the so called Walt Disney 287 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: of porn, controlled much of the distribution, and his business 288 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,199 Speaker 1: was largely focused on sex stories important. So again like 289 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 1: a man running a lot of this industry, Yes, And 290 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 1: I was hoping we could talk about this. Of course, 291 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 1: in a Sex and the City episode which we will 292 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 1: come to featured a plot line with a Charlotte and 293 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: the Rabbit vibrator and nor realizing sex toys even more 294 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: and the business for that specific toy Sky rocketed, and 295 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 1: even to the point that, yes, they brought on the 296 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 1: most naive, innocent of characters to be the one that 297 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,159 Speaker 1: falls to the trap of a rabbit saying that she 298 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 1: didn't need a man because he was the rabbit was 299 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:25,359 Speaker 1: so consistent and got her off every time. My big 300 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,879 Speaker 1: complaint about that whole episode is it was obviously like 301 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,119 Speaker 1: she cancels on them, will come to it and hides 302 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,119 Speaker 1: the vibrator, and they kind of man handle this vibrator. 303 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:40,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, that's not that's nasty. Don't be touching that. 304 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 1: I always had an issue with that whole scene. Yeah. Yeah. 305 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: And Samantha's hinting at our forthcoming sex in the City 306 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: Watch party series, which you talked about a lot, and 307 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 1: it is happening. I don't know when, So that's like 308 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: pretty close in the earlier y'all. It's gonna be fun 309 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:05,359 Speaker 1: because some surprises along the way. Oh my god. Yes, 310 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,159 Speaker 1: I will say in that conversation I had with the 311 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: women at the party about what I should buy, which 312 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,439 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it, and I thought it was a 313 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 1: great instance of women like women I didn't even know 314 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: and something I did, but like people coming out to 315 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: help me and be like, you should buy this, should 316 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 1: buy this. A lot of people said the rabbit or 317 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 1: some type of rabbit, and I think Sex and City 318 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 1: might have been part of that. Uh, there's also the dolphin, 319 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: which is similar to the rebit. If you so choose 320 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,679 Speaker 1: to use a different creature, different creature. I guess we 321 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: should say we're not sponsored by anybody we're talking about currently. 322 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: I do need to ask did you buy the say? 323 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: I did it? God? Yeah, personal didn't. I need I 324 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: need to look into it. Okay, keep going, Shall I 325 00:19:54,560 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 1: go down the list of maybe a future episode? But okay, 326 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,520 Speaker 1: so we've got this normalization of of women using these items, 327 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,919 Speaker 1: but still we do have a huge hang up around 328 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 1: female pleasure. Recently we saw ces provoking an award from 329 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 1: a sex story that won, and again sex story feels 330 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 1: so like minimal compared. This item had patents like eight 331 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 1: patterns if I remember correctly around it, and then cs 332 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: unrevoked the whole thing and then they apologized it was 333 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 1: a big deal. We did a whole episode on it, 334 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,439 Speaker 1: and then we did a follow up episode on it. 335 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 1: We did talk about it in the episode we did 336 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,719 Speaker 1: with oh Say, and a lot of the advertising as 337 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 1: you said, Samantha is still very very sexist, and a 338 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: lot of it is fat phobic, agist, body shaming. A 339 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 1: lot of women who enter the industry have said it's 340 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 1: very slut shaming to them in a way that it 341 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:51,639 Speaker 1: is not to their male counterparts. Right, and as like 342 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: social media has kind of grown too, uh, it's interesting 343 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: to see how the men will comment and really be 344 00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: visibly I guess angry because that like they're typing out 345 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: the comments about how this is so bad, and it's 346 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,399 Speaker 1: typically men just being angry about it, and it's like 347 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: very in so e we'll say that when I see 348 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: these comments, um so as of sene of sex toys 349 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 1: industries belong to men, even harder to get into the 350 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: business for women of color, and we've seen that in 351 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 1: every route. I think, even when there are businesses by women, 352 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,200 Speaker 1: unless it's a woman of color who runs these industries, 353 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 1: it's still hard for women of color to be a 354 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,359 Speaker 1: part of it, no matter what I think. There was 355 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,159 Speaker 1: a complaint at one point it spanks. Even though it's 356 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:39,159 Speaker 1: an amazing company and they are fairly diverse. The handful 357 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 1: of women that you could see when they had their 358 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,720 Speaker 1: like announcement for the giant like giving away and it's 359 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,160 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. She treats her employees really well, it seems, 360 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,919 Speaker 1: but you can only see like a handful of black women, 361 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: a few Asian women. You're like, okay, but a whole 362 00:21:56,040 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: other story. Yes, some stores have women in trans hours only, though, 363 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: with the option of buying sex toys at places like 364 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: Target and Amazon, this has threatened the existence of feminist 365 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 1: sex toys shops, with which has been a big topic 366 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 1: of conversation lately. Right, which is partish really why I 367 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,320 Speaker 1: also do it online? Then there are laws, and it 368 00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 1: wasn't until two thousand eight. The nineteen seventy three Obscene 369 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: Device Law was declared unconstitutional. But laws in Alabama and 370 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:32,400 Speaker 1: Georgia outlaws sex toys, and that includes vibrators. And yeah, 371 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 1: if you go and look, everything is very obviously like 372 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: it has to be blacked out. You can't have any 373 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: advertisements for it. It can't be called I don't think 374 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: it can be called sex toys. Is called it has 375 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: to be called novelties even today. Yes, yeah, and I 376 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: mean that just compounds. If you're already nervous, or you're 377 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:55,240 Speaker 1: already unsure, you feel ashamed of your body, you're like pleasure, 378 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 1: then this is just telling you, like, oh yeah, you 379 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 1: should be like obscene. It's against the wall. It's a 380 00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,359 Speaker 1: weird black bag that you have to use when you 381 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:11,640 Speaker 1: check out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I mean that's that's 382 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:13,359 Speaker 1: kind of what I wanted to talk about. Is I 383 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:18,199 Speaker 1: feel like it's still as much as we've made a 384 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: lot of ground, and if we're talking about it, more 385 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: and more women are getting into it. When I look 386 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: back on my experience buying the first my first sex story, 387 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,640 Speaker 1: just I just felt so sexualized in there, right, even 388 00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:33,120 Speaker 1: though for me, yeah, and and all the movies are 389 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 1: depicted and I think for the most part, I would 390 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:38,439 Speaker 1: say probably I'll run these lines because there was definitely 391 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,919 Speaker 1: a Buzzfeld article about a dude who weren't there and 392 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,359 Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, his experience there, But many 393 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: of them just seemed bored and like I really could 394 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: care less. All Yeah. I feel like that was a 395 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: special level of humph for him to explain all those 396 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,600 Speaker 1: things because even like maybe like the few times I've 397 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,880 Speaker 1: heard people going I did actually go with I did. 398 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: I did go with a friend to help her find 399 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 1: a sex toy because she was having some complications of 400 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 1: like let's go do this, we'll buy it together. They 401 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,160 Speaker 1: could care less. They're like, yeah, it works. You can't 402 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: bring it back like that, right. Oh yeah, they're very 403 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: they're very key on that, and I get it, but 404 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,879 Speaker 1: you cannot bring it back. Yeah. Well, and that was 405 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,639 Speaker 1: my curiosity because I've only been like a handful of times. 406 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 1: No matter what I'm making it sound like, but I 407 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: just I just remember so clearly that first time in 408 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:31,199 Speaker 1: thinking like, you know, no wonder women right have troubled it, 409 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:32,879 Speaker 1: and I'm so glad I had like two friends is 410 00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,480 Speaker 1: back up? That does seem like it's changing? Um I did? 411 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 1: I found these like list of etiquette and tips for 412 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 1: anybody who hasn't gone, and maybe as curious. If you're 413 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 1: really worried, you can call ahead for rules, and the 414 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:50,959 Speaker 1: rules are generally like don't ask about the employees preferences 415 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,679 Speaker 1: or sex lives, Like maybe they'll offer something about that 416 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 1: to you, but they don't want anything about that to you. Yeah, 417 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 1: if it's your first time and you're really nervous, ask 418 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,040 Speaker 1: for an overview of the store and then go in 419 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,480 Speaker 1: kind of thinking about your own experience and what you want. 420 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be super like firm, especially if 421 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 1: you're new and you're not sure, but just kind of 422 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,479 Speaker 1: think about those things and you you won't feel as 423 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 1: overwhelmed as idea when I first walked in where I 424 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: was like, maybe I should just walk right back out. 425 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 1: I don't know that I should be in here. Yes, 426 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: So cheers Samantha, cheers friend, cheers to you listeners, and 427 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 1: Cheer's your Christina whose birthday it is? Today's your court 428 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:36,920 Speaker 1: that happy birthday. Yes, yes, and as always, we would 429 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 1: love to hear from you if you would like to email, 430 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,359 Speaker 1: as you can our emails Stuff Media, mom Stuff at 431 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 1: iHeart media dot com. You can find us on Twitter 432 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: at mom Stuff podcast or Instagram and stuff I've Never 433 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,200 Speaker 1: told you. Thanks as always to our super producer Christina 434 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,879 Speaker 1: Birthday Girl, Yes ed, thanks to you for listening so 435 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,600 Speaker 1: I never told you. His protection of I Heart Radio 436 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: for more podcast. When I hear radio, is I hear radio? 437 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: App Apple podcast already listen to your favorite