WEBVTT - Healing Requires Practice with Devi Brown 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.800 Welcome to Deeply Well. This show is a soft place 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:10.160 to land on your journey, a space where we explore 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.080 what it truly means to live well from the inside out, 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:21.640 not perfectly, but honestly. This is deeply Well. Welcome back 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:25.079 to Deeply Well. I'm Debbie Brown. If you haven't yet, 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:28.240 please make sure you're subscribed to the show wherever you're 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.920 listening to it now so Apple, Spotify, even YouTube. Okay, 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:38.560 today we are diving in to practice. I want to 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.120 talk about something that I think has become deeply misunderstood 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:45.440 within the wellness industry and the overall culture of wellness. 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:50.800 It is the idea of having a practice. We have 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:56.480 confused having a practice with performance perfection and aesthetics, but 0:00:56.640 --> 0:01:00.280 real practice is not about creating an ideal version of 0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:04.520 yourself or an aspirational version of yourself. It's about building 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:09.720 a relationship with yourself that you can return to consistently. 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:15.680 And all of life is about building relationship. And I 0:01:15.720 --> 0:01:17.679 think that's one of the areas that even as we 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:21.800 continue to deepen conversations about community and not self isolating 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:26.000 and really the loneliness epidemic, we have to understand is 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:32.199 that relationship can be found in any end, absolutely everything 0:01:32.840 --> 0:01:38.280 whatever involves your participation, you are in relationship with, so 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:40.400 that can be a person, that can be a place, 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.160 that can be a thing, that can be a limiting 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:47.400 thought and idea, and that can absolutely be the system 0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:51.520 of self care practices that you employ every day. One 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:54.480 of the reasons that they start to feel hard or 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:58.720 honestly even annoying as you're getting started is because you're 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:01.920 at the beginning stages of what it takes to be 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:06.880 in relationship. There is a certain amount of ego death 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:11.640 that happens. There is a unmasking, there is a letting 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:15.640 down of walls and armor. There is an opening to 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:20.760 the unknown, and there is a pushing and stretching of 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:24.920 your capacity and the feelings that you have access to 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:29.320 that begins to happen when you lock in to do something, 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:33.680 especially when it's something that is nourishing to you each 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:36.640 and every day. I talk about this a lot in 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:39.920 my book Living in Wisdom. What are your barriers to healing? 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:43.560 And most people's barriers to healing is the ability to 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:48.200 connect to a practice that is supportive for who you 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:51.560 are and where you're going and what healing work you 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:55.480 need to do mind, body, soul or spirit, because somewhere 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:58.839 along the lines, we've lost the meeting and it's time 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:00.960 to learn what it means so that it can actually 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:05.839 serve us. Accordingly, when we make our daily practice another area. 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:07.880 Of our lives that we let our. 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:12.919 Egos relax in, it can create so much pressure inside 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:17.160 of us, real irritation, sometimes even anger, instead of what 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:20.079 it's there to actually do, which is help us regulate 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:23.360 and support our lives. So I want to gently disrupt 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:28.360 that today, real practice is not performance. It does not 0:03:28.520 --> 0:03:32.120 matter who is there, who validates you, who sees you, 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:37.839 or who is inspired by you. That real practice is relationship. 0:03:38.400 --> 0:03:41.040 And to be quite honest, if you feel called out 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.680 right now, just know this is part of the process. 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:48.000 Even this calling out and perfecting and refining it is 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:52.720 a dance we do with ourselves and our practice for months, 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:56.720 for years, for decades, And the older I get, the 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:01.000 more I've realize that the work is certainly not about 0:04:01.000 --> 0:04:05.320 building a perfect ritual. The work is about learning how 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:09.320 to stay connected to yourself while living your actual life 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:13.720 and integrating all of the rituals that you amass and 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:17.760 your ways of doing them to positively benefit you. And 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:23.000 really keep you in alignment. Recently, I did this event 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:28.600 with a few other authors and we have this big 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:31.320 audience in front of us big stage. I was on 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:35.680 a panel and I shared that I believe that everyone 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:40.120 should attempt to meditate for twenty minutes a day. That's 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:45.800 just the leading background understanding of meditation. Twenty minutes is 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:51.119 a great beginning that you really get to see benefit from. 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:53.680 And I know that is counterintuitive to a lot of 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:57.599 the hack style infographics you may see online that say, oh, 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.880 just two minutes, that's enough. If you can do just 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:04.679 five minutes, that's enough. Totally get that to each his own. 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.039 But as a meditation teacher and someone that studies the 0:05:08.120 --> 0:05:11.479 sciences of meditation in the brain, it just isn't true. 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:14.600 Anything is good. But if you want to build a 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:17.799 practice and you want to work to really rewire yourself 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:23.600 and reshape yourself, pushing yourself to start at twenty minutes 0:05:25.000 --> 0:05:29.919 is where the journey begins. Now, part of the relationship 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:35.520 of being able to eventually enjoy and find that twenty 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:42.560 minutes useful is all of the kind of agony that 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:45.840 moves through you as you learn how to hold that 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:49.800 space of twenty minutes. So you're gonna feel restless, you're 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:53.680 gonna feel irritated, you might feel sad, you might feel hysterical. 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:57.320 You're going to feel that's the thing you're going to feel. 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:59.840 And everything that was simmering under the surface is going 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:03.000 to come up to be reviewed, to be met, to 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:06.279 be released, and then that's when it gets quiet. 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:08.760 But that is part of the process. 0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:12.080 And so when we go too quickly to rely on 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.560 the one minute or the five minute because we think 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:19.039 that's more approachable, or we'll feel accomplished or proud from 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:22.880 having got to that point, we're actually robbing ourselves of 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:27.760 the entire process and the benefit that meditation brings. So 0:06:27.880 --> 0:06:30.040 while I was on that stage and I was having 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.320 that experience, I explained that science has shown us that 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:39.320 those measurable benefits from consistent meditation practice, especially around rewiring 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:45.960 the brain and supporting mental, emotional, and physical healing, could 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:49.760 be profound. Another person on the panel responded by saying 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:54.000 to me with the audience, oh, well, that's too hard, 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:57.080 and that's too much to ask of people. And I 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:01.480 found that she kept instead of answering the questions that 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:05.360 were being asked of her, she kept reframing them and 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:09.800 throwing them back at me, looking for me to tell 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:16.560 people this was how I received it, Looking for me 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:19.440 to tell people that they don't really have to do 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:23.160 any of this, they just need to let go. I 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:26.360 don't believe that I'm a trauma informed educator who's been 0:07:26.400 --> 0:07:31.040 meditating for fifteen years and teaching for a decade. I 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:36.520 have worked with people who have had profoundly traumatizing experiences. 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:41.800 I have my own background of trauma and ADHD, and 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:47.559 so I take this work so deeply, deeply serious because 0:07:47.560 --> 0:07:50.320 I remember all the times that I couldn't reach it, 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:53.240 that I was learning how to move through it and 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:57.080 then feeling the benefits and experiencing the benefits in my life. 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:00.000 And a lot of my teaching style is wrapped up 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:04.560 up to do just that. From the standpoint of you're 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:08.800 not escaping, you're not looking for perfect peace, you are 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:12.200 finding ways to rise in the challenges of your life 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:17.040 and feel more connected to yourself and feel an alleviation 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:18.720 of internal suffering. 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:19.920 And so. 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:27.760 I will never tell you one or two minutes. I 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:31.360 think people need to know much as I did, that 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:35.079 we are capable of rising to this, and part of 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:36.880 the journey, and I can definitely say this if you 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:41.839 have neurodivergence, it is so hard someone with ADHD, like 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:45.520 meditating was so hard. And then when I got into 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:49.760 the breakthrough point of it, by that consistency I spoke to, 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.720 not only did it become so easy, it becomes the 0:08:53.760 --> 0:08:56.800 first thing I grab whenever I get a chance, and 0:08:56.840 --> 0:09:01.400 it becomes deeply pleasurable. Benefit it has brought to my 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:05.599 life and my ability to be myself, and my ability 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:09.520 to quell some of the constant brain chatter and anxiety 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:16.280 that I experienced. It's been worth every second. It's been 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:20.280 worth every piece of friction. And you know, we tell 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:23.000 people you can do hard things quote unquote when it 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.959 comes to every other example in our lives, but then 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:29.200 when it comes to us, that's the first thing we 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:31.800 take off the table. And I want to reintroduce something 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:34.640 that doctor Mark Bracket said on an episode of the 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:39.319 show earlier this year, was, you know, it's not difficult. 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:46.240 It's effortful. It's effortful. And part of the reason that 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:49.280 sometimes it feels so overwhelmingly difficult is because of the 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:52.240 amounts of shame that can rise up when we create 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:53.360 judgments about. 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.120 Ourselves as we are. 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:59.079 Beginning to understand and open to what our unique practice 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:03.320 and process is. It is so easy to decide that 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:07.280 something is too difficult before we even give ourselves the 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:14.040 opportunity to grow through it. That relationship is everything. It 0:10:14.080 --> 0:10:18.040 helps you transcend in such a multitude of ways. And 0:10:18.080 --> 0:10:23.120 that mindset overall keeps so many people really disconnected from 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:27.600 who they truly are and what effect healing might. 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:31.559 Actually have for their lives, how. 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:36.160 Healing might actually be available to them. You miss that window. 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:41.080 So later during the book signing, it was wild. I 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:44.240 had a woman approach me as we were signing books 0:10:44.280 --> 0:10:47.079 after we got off the stage, and she shared that 0:10:47.160 --> 0:10:51.280 her husband works with children who have ADHD and that 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:55.199 there is no way that they can meditate, really kind 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.000 of extending to me a certain kind of punitive, passive, 0:10:58.040 --> 0:11:02.160 aggressive and dismissive adde like she was angry at me 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:08.680 for saying people could. It was a really surprising thing 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:12.320 to encounter. I gently explained to her that, you know, 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:20.600 I teach trauma informed meditation, I also am neurodivergent, and 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:25.200 all of my work is shaped by supporting people have 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:30.880 complex lived experiences, who have trauma, who have neurodivergents who 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:35.079 have different brains and bodies. As I said, I had 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.360 shared with her that I also have ADHD and that, 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:43.679 you know, I once believe that that kind of inner 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:47.679 freedom could never be accessible to me. But I've been 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.680 able to maintain a practice now for fifteen years, and 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.720 sure I can dip in and out. Sometimes sometimes it 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:57.360 feels great. Sometimes I still get mad at it. But 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:02.960 as I began responding about what the process is, that 0:12:03.040 --> 0:12:07.280 I was speaking to my thoughts or my experience, she 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:10.160 just completely turned away. She turned her body and her 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.520 back to me. She stopped listening, and she fixed her 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:16.120 eyes on the author that was next to me and 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.960 just looked to get their attention. And so, you know, 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:20.839 in that moment. 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:21.360 You do what you do. 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.800 I realize that you can't meet me because you haven't 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:28.000 met yourself. So someone that has no attachment to being 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:34.480 right and can easily maneuver out of a situation like that, 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:37.360 I just put my hands together and said, God bless. 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:40.840 Someone had shared with me later that actually, while I 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:43.600 was on the stage and talking, she was crying in 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:47.200 the audience. And you know, I came to understand that 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:53.200 this can really be a process that is filled with shame, 0:12:53.600 --> 0:13:00.280 with our own stories, with our own frustrations. They are 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:04.920 our limitations and our barriers. And you know, she wasn't 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:07.040 in that moment with me, and I think neither was 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:12.600 the woman who shared the stage with me. It wasn't 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:16.040 actually a moment for there to be dialogue. It was 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:20.520 a moment for there to be projection. There was something 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:26.440 painful about hearing that or how you might regulate it 0:13:26.559 --> 0:13:31.640 or heal it, that felt impossible, that felt inaccessible to them, 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.600 to their understanding, to the experience. And you know, over 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:36.720 the years, that is something that I have learned deeply 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.640 through teaching this work. And I love that because I 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:43.920 was one of those people too before I started. People's 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.960 resistance to self care is rarely about the practice itself. 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.319 It's usually tied to something much. 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.240 Older, much deeper, and much. 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:57.760 More emotional than the actual habit or modality that they 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:02.720 claim to reject. I remember another example I have years ago. 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:05.480 I was leading a retreat and there. 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:07.080 Were probably it was a big group. 0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.280 There was probably like maybe one hundred people there, and 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:14.240 so we were doing processes and you know, in the 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:18.400 work every day, meditating, doing tai chi, doing yoga, doing 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:22.600 breath work, and she was very vocal, and she was 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:25.640 always standing up and presenting her knowledge. I believe she 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.080 had told me she was a therapist or a coach, 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:31.200 and so she was always kind of standing up in 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:35.800 group share and looking to lead really and looking to. 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:38.240 Give advice. 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:42.600 But you don't really do at retreats, but that I 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:47.160 think that is where she felt most comfortable. And anytime 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.120 it came time to practice throughout the day, she would 0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:54.200 gently completely leave the group and go beyond her phone 0:14:54.320 --> 0:14:56.640 in the back or the side of the room. And 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.640 I remember we went and did this beautiful breathwork journey 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.920 one of my favorite teachers, and we were all in there. 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:05.640 We were in it for an hour and if you 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.000 ever do like holotropic breath work, you know, it's like 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:13.400 like whoosh, it gets spicy, so many things go on. 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.000 It is so powerful. 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:17.920 And at the end of it, you know, all of 0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:20.400 us were sitting there, we had beautiful you know, tears 0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:23.040 in our eyes. You were either laughing or crying, but 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:27.400 you felt, you felt something. And she came from the 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:29.360 back of the room and I asked her, you know, 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:32.200 how is your experience, how did you like breath work? 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.520 And her response was just, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.600 I know all about that. Yeah yeah, I do breath 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.000 work all the time, so I didn't need to do 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:40.240 it tonight. I do it all the time. 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:40.520 Yeah. 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.600 I read a book on breath work, and so that. 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:44.520 Was the process. 0:15:44.640 --> 0:15:47.120 And I encounter that a lot. I mean, even some 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.920 of your faves, y'all, like not all meditation teachers meditate 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.800 to be honest, and that's what makes the difference though. 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:58.280 That's how you know who is living their work, who 0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:06.280 is embodied in their advice, who has integrity with their 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:11.880 own process and their own limitations. And so I always 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:17.800 urge people when you feel rejecting towards caring for yourself, 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:21.800 take a second and think about why, because it's actually 0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:24.400 an absurd feeling to have. When we think about it, 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:28.000 it's rooted in deep things, so we're not undervaluing what 0:16:28.160 --> 0:16:31.600 leads us there. But there is a kind of funniness 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:35.840 to it when you realize that it's your body and 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.840 you don't want to take care of it. So it's 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.760 just ways to kind of begin to approach these conversations 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:45.560 if they feel tender, if they hold charge. Hi, I'm 0:16:45.600 --> 0:16:46.240 Debbie Brown. 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:50.360 I am so excited to share that. 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:54.040 This July fifth through the tenth, I'll be guiding a 0:16:54.240 --> 0:16:58.840 five day Living in Wisdom Retreat at the Omega Institute. 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.040 For Holistic Studies. 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.760 Last year, I released Living in Wisdom, a book that 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:07.439 is devoted to embodying your authentic self, embracing grief, and 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:11.399 developing self mastery. And this year we are going to 0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:16.840 be stepping into that work together. In practice, this retreat 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:21.200 is a potent container to devote real time to your 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:26.200 inner life. We're going to spend time in daily meditation. Yes, 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.240 you will learn how to do it, how to enjoy it, 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:31.679 and how to use it as a powerful tool in 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:36.359 your life. We'll have movement every day, breath work, community 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:41.159 sharing which can get so deep and expansive and deep reflection. 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:45.520 We're also going to be having creative exploration and intentional 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:50.520 rest to not only strengthen your discipline, but also create 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:54.840 the space to envision what is next and align your 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:58.520 life accordingly. So, if you feel called to this work, 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:00.720 I would truly love to share this. 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:01.399 Space with you. 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:06.520 It's going to be so so special and the grounds 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.840 alone are just what brings. 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:09.200 Me to life. 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:13.600 It's so beautiful, it's so nourishing, You can reserve your 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.280 spot through the Omega website. The link is in the 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:30.480 bio of this video. Really hope to see you there. Now, 0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:33.040 let's talk about what a practice. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:34.760 Really actually is. 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:41.480 Practice feels very synonymous with the word discipline, and something 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:45.199 that I've opened my work up two years ago was 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:50.560 that it's not discipline. It is devotion. It's not achievement. 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:57.160 It supports your relationship with yourself, and it supports your 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:05.679 human experience. Is awareness, regulation, consistency, and habit. But the 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:10.520 point is not mastery overnight, because your practice evolves as 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:14.720 you evolve. And I say that in a really beautifully 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:20.639 exciting way watching one's practice evolve. And I know for 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:23.480 all the teachers that are listening, or any facilitators that 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:27.760 are listening, oh, I know, you might be smiling to yourself, 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:31.480 maybe even grimacing, to be honest, because this part can 0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:35.320 be like oough, it can be gnarly. It can be 0:19:35.400 --> 0:19:39.120 gnarly when you learn what you really need and then 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.159 bring about the courage to give it to yourself. So 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:46.160 when I think about practice now, I think about it 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:50.959 much more like a devoted relationship that I'm honestly honored 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:54.399 to be a part of. Than a routine. Sometimes I 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:56.359 don't feel like doing it. Sometimes you don't feel like 0:19:56.400 --> 0:20:00.960 being in relationship. Sometimes you know, you feel like it's 0:20:01.000 --> 0:20:04.080 falling short. Sometimes you have to get creative. Sometimes you 0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:07.560 have to invest a lot more thought, time and energy 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:12.400 into it. But your practice gives you what you put 0:20:12.400 --> 0:20:14.440 into it. And you know, as we explore at the 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:17.760 beginning of this episode, everything and everyone that we participate 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:23.360 with is a relationship we are relating to. They require listening, 0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:31.480 it requires a little bit of adjustment, It requires compassion, compromise, attention, 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:36.400 and intention. And that's really what a practice is. It's 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:42.080 not punishment, it's not rigidity. It's not proving how evolved 0:20:42.160 --> 0:20:47.399 you are or proving how knowledgeable you are about the 0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:50.840 things that you've picked up. A practice is simply the 0:20:50.920 --> 0:20:57.920 collection of ways that you choose to support your inner life, 0:20:58.080 --> 0:21:01.960 and that can change all the time anytime. Matter of fact, 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:05.480 it does change all the time, and that's the fun 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.119 and that's the mastery in it. There were seasons of 0:21:08.160 --> 0:21:11.119 my life where my practice looked incredibly structured. 0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:12.680 It had to. I needed it. 0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:20.919 I was falling, I was broken, I was flailing, and 0:21:20.960 --> 0:21:29.440 I needed a practice that could really push me thrust 0:21:29.600 --> 0:21:33.840 me into a new life, into a new way of 0:21:33.880 --> 0:21:38.520 relating to my body and myself. And then there were 0:21:38.560 --> 0:21:44.000 seasons where my practice was simply surviving gently doing nothing. 0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:48.760 Some seasons my practice has been really fun, especially if 0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:52.440 I'm not in active healing about anything in particular. Then 0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:55.879 I get to really just explore, like, ooh, what is 0:21:55.960 --> 0:21:56.520 my body? 0:21:56.600 --> 0:22:01.280 Wow? What does this body need? Sometimes your practice is just. 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:05.960 One thing, like a long meditation. Sometimes your practice is 0:22:06.040 --> 0:22:20.119 taking one conscious breath before responding to someone that you 0:22:20.240 --> 0:22:24.480 love or someone that you care about. That counts this 0:22:24.720 --> 0:22:29.119 practice too, So it's not the time unless you're looking 0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:33.280 to run away from the time spent. It's really about 0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:36.560 what are the things that you are actively applying that 0:22:36.600 --> 0:22:39.000 you know are for your betterment and are for your 0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:41.480 higher good and are for your health and well being. 0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:48.359 The way I've taught wellness practice for many years, especially 0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:53.359 at a beginner's level, is settle into creating a roadmap 0:22:53.600 --> 0:23:00.040 or kind of like a paper put into quadrants, and 0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:05.920 identify the four areas of your human experience that needs 0:23:05.960 --> 0:23:11.560 support mental, emotional, physical, spiritual that is existing inside of 0:23:11.600 --> 0:23:14.480 us at all times. At the same time, having each 0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:18.399 their own experience. And so if you put one in 0:23:18.520 --> 0:23:21.240 each square of that piece of paper that's folded so 0:23:21.280 --> 0:23:21.960 that there's. 0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:25.600 Four there's four squares. 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:27.720 You would just write down a list of things that 0:23:27.760 --> 0:23:30.880 you would consider doing that can fit within those categories 0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:34.880 what you do to help and support your mentality, your physicality, 0:23:34.920 --> 0:23:38.199 your spirituality, and your emotional world. 0:23:40.320 --> 0:23:43.080 That is a great way to get started. 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:47.960 And then you get to pick and choose what enters 0:23:48.000 --> 0:23:51.560 and leaves that box based on the information you're receiving 0:23:52.080 --> 0:23:57.240 from trying from beginning. The problem with modern wellness culture 0:23:57.960 --> 0:24:05.439 is that wellness has become aestheticized. People are teaching who 0:24:05.480 --> 0:24:11.040 have not created real process or practiced themselves. Advertisers that 0:24:11.080 --> 0:24:13.680 have no idea what any of this means anyway, are 0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:17.240 just putting the best buzzwords on the projects that they're 0:24:17.280 --> 0:24:21.840 working on, and people feel like they are failing before 0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:26.040 they even begin. And that is the biggest difference of 0:24:26.080 --> 0:24:29.840 why it's so important who and what you consume and 0:24:29.880 --> 0:24:35.960 that you make practice and process your own. A lot 0:24:36.000 --> 0:24:41.399 of people in the world are grifters, y'all, and that 0:24:41.480 --> 0:24:46.080 hits every industry, every in any industry, and yes, even 0:24:46.160 --> 0:24:50.879 this one, even mental health, even wellness and wellbeing. So 0:24:50.960 --> 0:24:54.520 there are people giving advice that they don't live. It 0:24:54.600 --> 0:24:58.360 is so much harder for you to apply it if 0:24:58.400 --> 0:25:02.520 you're not being shown by someone who knows and understands 0:25:03.280 --> 0:25:08.760 the process, who has moved through the process themselves, so 0:25:08.840 --> 0:25:14.760 that they can adequately and properly guide you about the experience, 0:25:15.040 --> 0:25:20.520 what to expect and what the possibilities are. Quick fixed 0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:24.320 culture will have you thinking that you can change your 0:25:24.320 --> 0:25:28.280 life in a weekend. You can't, I'm. 0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:28.920 Sorry to say. 0:25:29.480 --> 0:25:34.359 You can spark profound awareness that over time leads to 0:25:34.560 --> 0:25:42.080 profound change, but the change happens when the awareness is practiced. 0:25:44.080 --> 0:25:51.440 Wanting healing without devotion, wanting healing without practice, I do 0:25:51.480 --> 0:25:58.360 not believe is possible. Practice cannot be rushed. It has 0:25:58.480 --> 0:26:06.960 to be surrendered to, It has to be integrated, It 0:26:07.040 --> 0:26:11.919 has to be authentic. I think one of the biggest 0:26:11.920 --> 0:26:15.760 distortions right now is that the mainstream wellness has that 0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:19.400 level of performance. Because it's so linked to instant payment 0:26:20.160 --> 0:26:28.360 and monetary success. People think that practice needs to look impressive. 0:26:29.119 --> 0:26:30.720 Healing is usually. 0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:32.240 So much quieter than that. 0:26:33.600 --> 0:26:37.400 And what I notice often is that many of us 0:26:37.560 --> 0:26:42.920 want transformation without the relationship, which is why it becomes 0:26:43.119 --> 0:26:47.119 harder to reintegrate into the world in a world of 0:26:47.160 --> 0:26:51.240 community if you have been on your own healing journey. 0:26:51.640 --> 0:26:54.239 We want that thirty second version, right. I think I 0:26:54.280 --> 0:26:56.680 shared this story before, but I did this other event 0:26:56.800 --> 0:27:00.520 recently and I was teaching this group of women leaders 0:27:01.280 --> 0:27:05.040 and I did a like nervous system regulating breath took 0:27:05.119 --> 0:27:13.840 probably thirty seconds a minute at most. And I remember 0:27:13.960 --> 0:27:16.480 later on I had opened it up for questions and 0:27:16.560 --> 0:27:19.479