WEBVTT - Mercedes “MJ” Javid:  When Your Only Choice Is Divorce

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, I do Part two.

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<v Speaker 2>It's Kelly Klaren Bensimon, one of your celebrity mentors, and

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<v Speaker 2>today I'm catching up with one of the stars from

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<v Speaker 2>The Valley Persian Style.

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<v Speaker 1>So she's been stuck in the middle of a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of conflict.

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<v Speaker 2>On the show this season, and now she's going through

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<v Speaker 2>a divorce. I can't wait to catch up with her

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<v Speaker 2>and see how she's coming through this difficult situation.

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<v Speaker 1>Please help me. Welcome Mercedes MJ to the pot.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Hori, Kelly, it's good to see you.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, it's so good to see you. I know

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<v Speaker 1>that you've been going through a lot, but I want to.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell you your show was fantastic and you are a baller.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so proud of you with you know, changing your narrative,

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<v Speaker 2>raising your son, you know, everything you've been through with

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<v Speaker 2>your ex house. We're going to get into that, the

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<v Speaker 2>real estate business. You've been doing so well. I am

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<v Speaker 2>so proud of you on all fronts. Let's get started. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So this season's been We've been seeing a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>things playing out between you and your soon to be

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<v Speaker 2>ex husband Tommy and attention with you guys, you caught

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<v Speaker 2>in the middle.

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<v Speaker 1>What was that like for.

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<v Speaker 3>You, it's very hard because you know, we're doing it

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<v Speaker 3>with this big cast of friends and instead of six

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<v Speaker 3>people who are now twelve. I find a lot of

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<v Speaker 3>the episodes to be hard to watch. The scenes between

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<v Speaker 3>Tommy and I, I close my eyes, I turn it off.

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<v Speaker 3>I just you know, I was with him for ten years,

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<v Speaker 3>married seven, very in love, with no intention of following

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<v Speaker 3>the footsteps of a divorced family, same age as when

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<v Speaker 3>my son, as my son is is when my parents

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<v Speaker 3>got separated. It's the worst thing ever, and I hate

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<v Speaker 3>it and I never really got any closure with Tommy.

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<v Speaker 3>So we're just a married couple going through communication breakdowns

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<v Speaker 3>and then, like you always want to have a healthy

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<v Speaker 3>conversation to follow up things, and that's how it feels

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<v Speaker 3>when you don't get to do that.

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<v Speaker 2>I really like what you just said about communication breakdowns,

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<v Speaker 2>and I think that that is such a big, big,

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<v Speaker 2>big thing that happens in relationships, especially guy. You guys

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<v Speaker 2>have been together for so long and you've been through

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<v Speaker 2>so much together. It's just obviously wildly serendipitous that this

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<v Speaker 2>happened at the same time as you know your parents.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm so sorry for that, so this season your

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<v Speaker 2>ex Tommy, he was involved in filming the show less

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<v Speaker 2>than when you guys were on shows of Sunset? Was

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<v Speaker 2>that an effort to save your marriage? Did you just

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<v Speaker 2>not want to film?

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<v Speaker 1>What was?

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<v Speaker 2>What was?

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<v Speaker 1>What happened?

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<v Speaker 3>I think he hadn't healed at all from the last

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<v Speaker 3>time that we were on TV. It was extremely heavy

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<v Speaker 3>on him because you know, we've just had our baby,

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<v Speaker 3>and then the falling out with Res it just made us.

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<v Speaker 3>It just gutted him. And then coming back. I think

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<v Speaker 3>he did want to do the show, but I don't

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<v Speaker 3>think he wanted to put himself vulnerable for like getting

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<v Speaker 3>you know, hurt again. I mean, he had to serve

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<v Speaker 3>time for even I think it was might have just

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<v Speaker 3>been for a day, to be honest, I don't know

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<v Speaker 3>if he had to go more than a day. It

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<v Speaker 3>was probation. Sorry, I don't mean to like spread false information,

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<v Speaker 3>but yeah, that's why he didn't. He's he's very fragile

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<v Speaker 3>when it comes to what am I going to do?

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<v Speaker 3>What's going to happen to me? I think I was

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<v Speaker 3>probably afraid too, because I didn't want to have another

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<v Speaker 3>falling out with Resa or Valanessa, so fear.

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<v Speaker 2>Again like another just compliment to you about just being

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<v Speaker 2>so thoughtful for him and his feelings and how that

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<v Speaker 2>was going to play out for him. You know, I

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<v Speaker 2>think you know I was going to ask you, did

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<v Speaker 2>the show contribute to your decision.

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<v Speaker 1>To get divorced.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw you guys in two scenes that were really

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<v Speaker 2>like pop up scenes. Like the first scene was when

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<v Speaker 2>you guys were on the podcast and just like the

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<v Speaker 2>back and forth banter seemed difficult, but also you guys

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<v Speaker 2>were like in that conflict resolution mode, which I really

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<v Speaker 2>really loved. But then when I saw you guys at

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<v Speaker 2>the open house where Tommy wouldn't come in, and you're

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<v Speaker 2>at this open house, you're filming, You've got stress, you're

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you've got so many things going on.

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<v Speaker 1>You're trying to, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Show Maricio how great you are, because you are so great.

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<v Speaker 2>Your open house was amazing. No one comes from an

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<v Speaker 2>open house, by the way, so that was fantastic. There

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<v Speaker 2>was just a lot of variables, and I think you

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<v Speaker 2>handled that really well.

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<v Speaker 1>But I could see at that moment he was just

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<v Speaker 1>like shutting down. What are your thoughts?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, my thoughts are like, you want to be able

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<v Speaker 3>to feel love from your spouse, And if the neglect

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<v Speaker 3>and the isolation outweighs the love and the breakdown, then

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<v Speaker 3>it just doesn't make sense. If I would have thought

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<v Speaker 3>that Tommy was willing and open to like working things out,

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<v Speaker 3>then I wouldn't have had a reason to leave. He's

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<v Speaker 3>the one that ended the marriage, not me. He's the

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<v Speaker 3>one that stopped participating and checked out for years. It

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<v Speaker 3>had it had just come to a head, I just

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<v Speaker 3>had to file the paperwork. He was the one that

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<v Speaker 3>stopped being to me like so many things that he

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<v Speaker 3>was when we first met ten years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, that's big. Usually it's the woman leaving the man.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's very unusual that the man like checks

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<v Speaker 2>out and you know, the woman has to leave like that.

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<v Speaker 2>That is I'm so sorry. I mean, I just feel

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<v Speaker 2>like I just have so much empathy for you. Just

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we have a lot of similarities in

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<v Speaker 2>our lives. I mean, I just know that for my

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<v Speaker 2>own self, I you know, broke up with a boyfriend

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<v Speaker 2>in December because I was going to be filming a

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<v Speaker 2>new show and I'm just.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I can't, you know, I just can't bring him along.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm afraid, you know. I mean, I've had.

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<v Speaker 2>I had two very very bad situations happen when I

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<v Speaker 2>was filming, and I just was like, I just can't

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<v Speaker 2>do this. And I'm just like honestly making me emotion

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<v Speaker 2>right now because like, you know, you do work really hard,

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<v Speaker 2>and I mean another moment that really like I can't

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<v Speaker 2>even tolerate.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like you know, like, first of all.

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<v Speaker 2>Having someone pick up your child is one thing, but

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<v Speaker 2>like not showing up that really like and you just

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<v Speaker 2>kind of going back and figuring saying it was fifteen minutes,

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<v Speaker 2>it was forty five minutes. Like I could feel, I

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<v Speaker 2>could hear the pain in your voice, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>I just know. I know you're filming a show, but

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<v Speaker 2>there are moments for the listeners out there that are

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<v Speaker 2>so wildly real, and that was one of them.

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<v Speaker 3>Like because people are like, oh, you're so calm, You're

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<v Speaker 3>so calm, like and I was like, yeah, yeah, because

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<v Speaker 3>I have had to learn to be home. There were

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<v Speaker 3>years when I was reactive and I would cry and

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<v Speaker 3>I would beg and scream. There were years and you know,

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<v Speaker 3>so many Christmases and days and Mother's Days and things

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<v Speaker 3>like that where I was like, bro, like please don't

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<v Speaker 3>phone it in with me like I care too much

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<v Speaker 3>and I had my heart in my hand, and I

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<v Speaker 3>eventually had to harden and put on more of like

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<v Speaker 3>the brave face and be a healthy mom to your son.

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<v Speaker 3>And so I shoved everything that I had for Tommy

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<v Speaker 3>so that I could be positive. And then you know,

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<v Speaker 3>here we are.

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<v Speaker 1>How's the co parenting going.

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<v Speaker 3>The co parenting? We live a minute away, we see

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<v Speaker 3>each other, and we're both one hundred percent in with Shams.

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<v Speaker 3>He doesn't miss a beat and he gets the best

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<v Speaker 3>of both of us. And you know, it's that part

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<v Speaker 3>is really healthy.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank god, that is That's a huge blessing.

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<v Speaker 2>I never had a co parent, so I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, this co parenting, I'm like, that sounds fantastic.

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<v Speaker 2>I had no idea what you're talking about.

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<v Speaker 3>I raised my.

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<v Speaker 2>Kids on my own, and I have like that is

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<v Speaker 2>just something that like is just like, you know, foreign

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<v Speaker 2>language to me.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't I even imagine that because when I'm working

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<v Speaker 3>and I have days that I come home from work

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<v Speaker 3>and I am spent, especially yes, especially at the end

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<v Speaker 3>of the day, I'm like, I am not capable of

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<v Speaker 3>cooking a meal. I you know, it's going to be pizza.

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<v Speaker 3>It's going to be like takeout and when when you

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<v Speaker 3>do have somebody, And Tommy is a very good father

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<v Speaker 3>and he's very present then and he's become more present

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<v Speaker 3>actually since we separated. So I am extremely grateful for that.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that.

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<v Speaker 2>I love that who on the cast has been the

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<v Speaker 2>most supportive during this process, everybody.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I'm not close with Sky right now, which

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<v Speaker 3>you know, I know that she feels like she's a

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<v Speaker 3>little bit on an island. But I'm really close with

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<v Speaker 3>and I feel a lot of love and his support

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<v Speaker 3>from Natasha and Amir and Reza and Golnessa and Tanny

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<v Speaker 3>and like, they're very, very real. And I've known we've

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<v Speaker 3>known Tanny and you know for fifteen years. She just

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<v Speaker 3>was one of those people that wasn't going to do

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<v Speaker 3>reality TV. And I know it's a huge risk. You

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<v Speaker 3>know that too, But yeah, they're they're amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>They are the whole cast is amazing. The dynamic is unbelievable,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's just to hear your storyline is just it's heartbreaking.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean it's just heartbreaking.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you thought about dating? Oh?

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<v Speaker 3>No, custom Mark, No, I am so actually I feel

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<v Speaker 3>so distrusted, distrusting of men. I have zero faith in men.

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<v Speaker 3>If this is what love is, then no, thank you.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel so It's been so long since I've been single.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't even imagine. I just feel like I will

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<v Speaker 3>die a celibate like lady. Maybe if I'm locky enough

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<v Speaker 3>to live to like I'm one hundred, you know, for

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<v Speaker 3>the kid, right, But no, I don't see it. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't see it being naked in front of of anybody ever.

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<v Speaker 2>Again, well, you look gorgeous, so do not do not

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<v Speaker 2>talk about don't talk like that because that's not fair.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've seen you on the show and you're gorgeous.

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<v Speaker 1>You put that makeup like you are.

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>So this is a really good question.

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<v Speaker 2>If you do get in a relationship, hypothetically, let's say

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<v Speaker 2>you started to date.

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<v Speaker 1>And you get into your relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, how important is it for that new partner to

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<v Speaker 2>get along with your friends?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's important because look, people forget this falling out

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<v Speaker 3>with my husband and I was not because of you know,

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<v Speaker 3>him not partying. It's not like that. It's more of

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<v Speaker 3>like going to weddings by yourself. That shouldn't be a thing.

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<v Speaker 3>Wanting to play tennis and going on a hike and

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<v Speaker 3>just experience, like, let's go swim in our pool. We

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<v Speaker 3>have a beautiful which in California is you know, costs

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of money just to have a pool of

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<v Speaker 3>running water. It's a lot. Your husband be like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to go swimming, I don't want to

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<v Speaker 3>go to the beach. I don't want to go to

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<v Speaker 3>this wedding all you baby, Like that was not fun.

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<v Speaker 3>So if I were hypothetically with somebody, they would have

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<v Speaker 3>to not just writ and bear it or hopefully I

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<v Speaker 3>didn't watch that statement, but that they really really just

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<v Speaker 3>think that grinn and bear that you really want to

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<v Speaker 3>see that as an adventure, like, hey, this wedding is

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<v Speaker 3>going to be so boring. Let's get trashed and have

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<v Speaker 3>the best time ever, like Bonnie and Clyde. Let's have fun.

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<v Speaker 1>You just want to create memories. And I love that.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I had so I had that relationship with

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<v Speaker 2>my with my first and only husband, he was literally gone.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm the girls.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I gave birth my first daughter and he

0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:57.960
<v Speaker 2>was gone, like literally came back like once a month.

0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:01.520
<v Speaker 1>So you know, I am so I'm so used.

0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:04.240
<v Speaker 2>To being with someone who's not around and all the

0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.079
<v Speaker 2>memory I was just looking at these memories because I

0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:08.720
<v Speaker 2>just sold my department them living in and I was

0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.520
<v Speaker 2>looking at all these memories of my girls.

0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm says, they're all of me and the girls. It's

0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:15.920
<v Speaker 1>a party of three. I'm like, this is not what

0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:17.520
<v Speaker 1>I want. This is not my future.

0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.600
<v Speaker 2>So I totally empathize with you. And you're right, like

0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.280
<v Speaker 2>you want to create these memories. You want to have

0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:26.200
<v Speaker 2>a photo album of like good, bad and ugly, like

0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.120
<v Speaker 2>you did it together exactly.

0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:30.960
<v Speaker 3>We went to my cousin's wedding. It was a destination wedding.

0:12:31.000 --> 0:12:32.440
<v Speaker 3>And when I came back and I looked at my

0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:35.120
<v Speaker 3>camera role, I was like, you dumb bitch, what are

0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:35.839
<v Speaker 3>you doing here?

0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm literally, you're gonna make me cry, Like I'm so,

0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh my god, I'm so.

0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:44.880
<v Speaker 1>I just I hate this. I hate this. So Okay,

0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:45.760
<v Speaker 1>you're you're.

0:12:45.600 --> 0:12:48.440
<v Speaker 2>A fellow, you're you and you're and now there's a

0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:50.840
<v Speaker 2>new friend of yours, Britney cart Right. She's in she's

0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.640
<v Speaker 2>in the valley, she's a resident, and she's gone through

0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 2>a similar experience. Are you guys talking, do you guys,

0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:58.839
<v Speaker 2>because you're both on similar shows.

0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:00.439
<v Speaker 1>Do you guys have any like connection?

0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:04.360
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so Michelle son I and Britney Carr right, and

0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.600
<v Speaker 3>I are definitely overdue for a lunch. I'm very funning

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:10.800
<v Speaker 3>with the Rolls on the Valley and we do DM

0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:13.000
<v Speaker 3>and say like when are we gonna have lunch? And

0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.560
<v Speaker 3>you know, sunk right now. It's like, it's so painful

0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:19.880
<v Speaker 3>that I have to push myself to get out there

0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:23.280
<v Speaker 3>more because between working and then being with the baby,

0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:25.280
<v Speaker 3>you just want to you know, he's six, He's always

0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:28.400
<v Speaker 3>my baby. You want to be able to like this

0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:32.480
<v Speaker 3>that I'm doing here today for you is so new.

0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:37.280
<v Speaker 3>I want to literally carve myself back into my life

0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 3>where I am not putting my hair on the top,

0:13:39.720 --> 0:13:42.080
<v Speaker 3>not for forty five days in a row. I literally

0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:45.440
<v Speaker 3>think from December to January, I might have left the

0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.360
<v Speaker 3>house in ways that people would be looking at me

0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.640
<v Speaker 3>going like is she okay? Like where it's not okay,

0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.840
<v Speaker 3>it's not okay. And you can't just you know, do

0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:57.480
<v Speaker 3>a slick phony to show up. You have to actually

0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 3>feel it inside. So connecting with girl Brittany and checking

0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.720
<v Speaker 3>in with Michelle and having fun is so important. We

0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:08.800
<v Speaker 3>need to support and laugh at the you know, the craziness,

0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.240
<v Speaker 3>and you know, maybe she has some cheers. I haven't

0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:12.280
<v Speaker 3>cried yet.

0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:19.040
<v Speaker 2>I met Brittany at Swim Week at the oh SI Show,

0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:24.200
<v Speaker 2>and she is so much fun, Like she is literally

0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:27.040
<v Speaker 2>hilarious and we had such a good time. I think

0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.040
<v Speaker 2>that you'll like her also because she's very authentic like

0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:30.400
<v Speaker 2>you are.

0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:33.360
<v Speaker 1>But she's also just fun doing to me. She's smiling

0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:36.320
<v Speaker 1>and she's just like I'm trying to get through things.

0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.360
<v Speaker 2>And I think you guys should definitely if you have

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 2>the if you have the opportunity to do that, you should.

0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 1>Guys should definitely hang out. She's great.

0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna literally message her right now.

0:14:46.440 --> 0:14:50.120
<v Speaker 2>She's sunshine and she'll get you whether or not you

0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:51.280
<v Speaker 2>even meet.

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.120
<v Speaker 1>She's just got like a very sunny personal.

0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:56.720
<v Speaker 3>No, like like we run into each other all the time.

0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 3>We see together Michelle as well from her show. We

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:04.240
<v Speaker 3>definitely have intention and should it's really just being on

0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.280
<v Speaker 3>that like that hamster wheel lifestyle where you're just like

0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.080
<v Speaker 3>busting your ass trying to get from point A to B.

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:13.080
<v Speaker 3>That's not cool. That's not a way to live. We

0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.680
<v Speaker 3>have to change that. We will, right will.

0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:20.040
<v Speaker 2>And speaking of your top knot and your burnout, What

0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.640
<v Speaker 2>are you going to do so that we slick the

0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:24.280
<v Speaker 2>hair back and we feel good?

0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Like, what do you? What do we? What are we

0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:27.960
<v Speaker 1>doing for for your self care?

0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.840
<v Speaker 3>So I just did. I'm gonna tell you. I just

0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:34.960
<v Speaker 3>went to one of the moms from my school. She

0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:38.160
<v Speaker 3>was like, get your ass in here, I'm giving you

0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:43.000
<v Speaker 3>a signature facial. She laminated my brows. I went to

0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:47.840
<v Speaker 3>my friend's house. She did the hair. I have to

0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:49.880
<v Speaker 3>do the spray tand there's nothing that makes me feel

0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:52.640
<v Speaker 3>quite as good. I'm very fair right now, and I've

0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:55.960
<v Speaker 3>got like pounds of dark like you know, bronze on

0:15:56.920 --> 0:16:02.920
<v Speaker 3>so that I'm all about a steam room, red light therapy,

0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:07.560
<v Speaker 3>my f forty five for muscle tone, and I walk

0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:11.160
<v Speaker 3>my dog, you know. So I'm just committed to doing

0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:11.840
<v Speaker 3>more of that.

0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:14.120
<v Speaker 1>Do you know the red light therapy?

0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:17.240
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, I feel so like even just putting that mask

0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.600
<v Speaker 2>on for a couple of seconds, I'm just like, WHOA.

0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean, obviously there are had so many benefits, but

0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:25.960
<v Speaker 2>I know, even for myself, I'm very like, I'm very

0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:28.520
<v Speaker 2>light sensitive, and I'm just like when I get light, my.

0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:31.280
<v Speaker 3>Body goes yes, and then when I have no light,

0:16:31.360 --> 0:16:35.200
<v Speaker 3>it's like, well, yeah, well I do the thing I

0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:38.640
<v Speaker 3>subscribe to the wake up, open the door, let the

0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:42.040
<v Speaker 3>sun hit you, and get that vitamin D. You have

0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:45.160
<v Speaker 3>to actually be your skin meets the vitamin D. It's

0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.440
<v Speaker 3>not just your face and you want to protect your

0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:51.040
<v Speaker 3>face from sunspots. But yes, this is an eighty degree

0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:54.440
<v Speaker 3>day in La. By the way, we have no excuse,

0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:57.520
<v Speaker 3>so I just have to take more advantage of what

0:16:57.600 --> 0:16:58.960
<v Speaker 3>we have here, which I am.

0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:02.000
<v Speaker 2>But I literally I had a when I after I

0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:04.679
<v Speaker 2>broke up with my my boyfriend, I literally had a

0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.959
<v Speaker 2>Carrie Bradshaw moment and I darkened my hair and I

0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:11.240
<v Speaker 2>was like inside it was like the semmer and I

0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:12.560
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh.

0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:16.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh this is this is my name. I mean, everything

0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:17.120
<v Speaker 3>is okay.

0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:18.959
<v Speaker 2>I am not like that though, by the way, I'm

0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:22.720
<v Speaker 2>always like okay, you know, maybe this isn't right, okay.

0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:25.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean granded never had anyone break up with me.

0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:27.280
<v Speaker 2>I've always been the one that's like no, no, no, no,

0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.240
<v Speaker 2>no no no, And this I was.

0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:30.040
<v Speaker 1>Just like no.

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:33.800
<v Speaker 2>But I was just like, oh, I've never like thought

0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.560
<v Speaker 2>about going back with someone, right, No.

0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:39.400
<v Speaker 3>But I mean I know that you were when we

0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:43.160
<v Speaker 3>ran into each other at Jeff's at radio, you were

0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:47.000
<v Speaker 3>with somebody, and then when it ended, I was like, God,

0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:49.080
<v Speaker 3>I wish I should have reached out to you at

0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:52.200
<v Speaker 3>that time too, because I know it wasn't it wasn't

0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:53.160
<v Speaker 3>what you were expecting.

0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:54.560
<v Speaker 1>That was awful.

0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So being this is not being on Europe, being

0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:11.080
<v Speaker 2>on our own, being on our own.

0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.120
<v Speaker 1>You know, what's it been like for you? I mean,

0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:14.920
<v Speaker 1>what's I mean? I know that you've.

0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:17.119
<v Speaker 2>You're doing some self careac your friends, you know, have

0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:18.359
<v Speaker 2>done so many nice things for you.

0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:20.480
<v Speaker 1>But have you like made over your house? Have you

0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.160
<v Speaker 1>like done something different?

0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:25.320
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything that you've done for yourself that like

0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:27.960
<v Speaker 2>the you can help our listeners kind of go through,

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, how to make themselves feel better, you know,

0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:34.280
<v Speaker 2>because you do look so great by the way, you

0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:35.440
<v Speaker 2>look really great.

0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:38.560
<v Speaker 3>Thank you. I you know, we moved out of the

0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:41.399
<v Speaker 3>house that we were married in. I moved into a

0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:47.520
<v Speaker 3>townhouse which was the polar opposite vibe, full of white light.

0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:50.120
<v Speaker 3>It was just like the place that I moved into

0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:55.160
<v Speaker 3>is so bright and high ceilings and everything that I'm

0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:58.600
<v Speaker 3>choosing to put in this new home is a very

0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:03.639
<v Speaker 3>conscious choice of and I there were things that I

0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:06.000
<v Speaker 3>just said, can't come in, they can't go with me.

0:19:06.480 --> 0:19:10.000
<v Speaker 3>So I purged probably eighty percent of what we had.

0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:13.280
<v Speaker 3>I only kept the things that felt one hundred and

0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:15.840
<v Speaker 3>if it didn't like belong, then I just said like

0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:20.960
<v Speaker 3>thank you and goodbye. Because I saw Lala Kent when

0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:25.920
<v Speaker 3>she separated from her marriage their engagement, and I saw

0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:29.600
<v Speaker 3>her put like every single piece back into her house

0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:32.840
<v Speaker 3>and I was like, that was that should be there, right,

0:19:32.920 --> 0:19:35.320
<v Speaker 3>and then goodbye to the out with the old, in

0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:38.040
<v Speaker 3>with the new. It's also a huge part of Persian

0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:42.399
<v Speaker 3>culture is symbolism and how things feel. And you know,

0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:45.280
<v Speaker 3>we've all heard of the Marie condo. So it's like

0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:48.840
<v Speaker 3>when you have to connect with your body, you have

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:51.840
<v Speaker 3>to connect with your womanhood, you have to connect with

0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:56.199
<v Speaker 3>like the shower is an extra luxurious shower, Like I

0:19:56.240 --> 0:20:00.440
<v Speaker 3>would slather on everything that made me feel spoiled as

0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:04.440
<v Speaker 3>possible on a daily basis, like take time, extra extra time,

0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:09.160
<v Speaker 3>and that is you know, it's fun, it's fun. Plans.

0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:11.480
<v Speaker 1>I actually did that. I put on this like really

0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.359
<v Speaker 1>really nice lotion today.

0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:17.960
<v Speaker 3>I was like, I feel like I deserve that's actually good.

0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:20.400
<v Speaker 2>Advice for your clients because you can say when they're

0:20:20.480 --> 0:20:22.720
<v Speaker 2>when they're you know, buying or selling, that you can

0:20:22.760 --> 0:20:24.480
<v Speaker 2>say that these are the things that you've done, and

0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:26.280
<v Speaker 2>this is something that people are always looking for to

0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:29.320
<v Speaker 2>They're looking for advice and how to like navigate that

0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:31.879
<v Speaker 2>next chapter of their lives. And so, I, you know,

0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:34.720
<v Speaker 2>I feel like that's just like such a good you know,

0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:38.200
<v Speaker 2>also takeaway. Before I let you go, I want to

0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:39.760
<v Speaker 2>ask you about the Traders because you were such a

0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:40.960
<v Speaker 2>superstar on.

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:42.479
<v Speaker 3>That show, Thank You.

0:20:42.560 --> 0:20:46.760
<v Speaker 2>Would you ever like want to go back or come back?

0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:49.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean, is there everybody loved you on Traders?

0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:53.240
<v Speaker 3>Thank You? The first time is always the best time.

0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:56.880
<v Speaker 3>I love the experience. I felt like sleep away camp

0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:58.320
<v Speaker 3>but I never got to do when I was a kid.

0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:02.720
<v Speaker 3>But if I were to go back this time, I

0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:05.560
<v Speaker 3>would really be extra worried about spending time away from

0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:10.000
<v Speaker 3>my son. I've been hearing like maybe there will be

0:21:10.000 --> 0:21:13.000
<v Speaker 3>an All Stars. I think I would play the game

0:21:13.040 --> 0:21:16.680
<v Speaker 3>differently in some ways because it is getting like no disrespect,

0:21:16.720 --> 0:21:20.280
<v Speaker 3>but every season is evolving. There is like a very

0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:24.159
<v Speaker 3>high level of respect and decorum on the set of Traders,

0:21:24.240 --> 0:21:28.919
<v Speaker 3>Like with this overseas English production Company. They're not as

0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:33.800
<v Speaker 3>they don't have tolerance for anything vicious, so I you know,

0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.680
<v Speaker 3>never say no to the universe. But also like it was,

0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:44.080
<v Speaker 3>it was a very unique, intensely positive experience. I loved it.

0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:46.560
<v Speaker 1>I would go on Traders with you. We could be

0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:48.400
<v Speaker 1>like the two pieces in a pod.

0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:52.440
<v Speaker 2>I'd be like, I'm very I'm very like fluffy bunny,

0:21:52.640 --> 0:21:55.159
<v Speaker 2>but then on the inside, I'm super strategic.

0:21:56.040 --> 0:21:59.120
<v Speaker 3>Right, It's true. And I don't know how you feel

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.320
<v Speaker 3>about like crawling into dark holes. And you know, there

0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:06.720
<v Speaker 3>are a lot of like no, no me, Me and

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:12.000
<v Speaker 3>Phedra Chary, even Kevin from Bling Empire, like none of

0:22:12.080 --> 0:22:15.320
<v Speaker 3>us were willing to go into a pitch black tunnel

0:22:15.640 --> 0:22:19.920
<v Speaker 3>that had like rats and worms. I don't know what

0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:21.720
<v Speaker 3>was in there. It was so slimy, and it smelled

0:22:21.760 --> 0:22:25.720
<v Speaker 3>like horse piss. It was at the horse.

0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:26.359
<v Speaker 1>The horse piss.

0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:29.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm a usedup, but like and I'd bend in the catacombs,

0:22:29.240 --> 0:22:32.479
<v Speaker 2>which sounds very bougie in Europe, but I am now

0:22:32.680 --> 0:22:35.680
<v Speaker 2>there's certain I am so there are certain things I cannot.

0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:38.080
<v Speaker 3>I can do anything.

0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:40.200
<v Speaker 2>She can jump from She's like they're always like, you're

0:22:40.200 --> 0:22:43.399
<v Speaker 2>so sporty I'm like, just because I can run and

0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:46.159
<v Speaker 2>ride a horse and play a little tennis and hit

0:22:46.200 --> 0:22:48.679
<v Speaker 2>some golf balls, does not make me one to like,

0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:50.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, jump off the cliffs Like that's a no.

0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:54.240
<v Speaker 3>Oh, no, you would repel because we did the repelling

0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:57.080
<v Speaker 3>down the line. We did a lot of like physical things,

0:22:57.160 --> 0:22:59.240
<v Speaker 3>but no, you don't think you could repel. It was

0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:01.919
<v Speaker 3>the scariest thing. I have like very sensitive hands, so

0:23:02.000 --> 0:23:04.159
<v Speaker 3>I'd be like, and then you had to like not

0:23:04.280 --> 0:23:07.159
<v Speaker 3>look down. And then I never used the repel before.

0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:10.520
<v Speaker 3>I was like, look what happens if I just slide? No, dude,

0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:13.719
<v Speaker 3>there were a lot of things that were very challenging.

0:23:14.200 --> 0:23:18.199
<v Speaker 3>But if the I will give props major props to

0:23:18.359 --> 0:23:23.560
<v Speaker 3>Trishall and ct. They did the disgusting things that took

0:23:23.680 --> 0:23:26.920
<v Speaker 3>thirty minutes, like to get through the tunnel, Like give

0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:29.960
<v Speaker 3>that up to the challenge people. The Bravo people were

0:23:30.000 --> 0:23:34.600
<v Speaker 3>making it entertaining and the people were earning the dollars.

0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:36.600
<v Speaker 3>I guess the Bravo.

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<v Speaker 2>Paper are always like, oh my god, I'll talk about

0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:42.240
<v Speaker 2>exactly well.

0:23:42.320 --> 0:23:46.199
<v Speaker 1>We love you so much and I support you. I

0:23:46.240 --> 0:23:46.919
<v Speaker 1>am here for you.

0:23:46.960 --> 0:23:48.800
<v Speaker 2>I know this is not the easiest time in your life,

0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:52.439
<v Speaker 2>but you're doing such beautiful work for your family, for

0:23:52.600 --> 0:23:56.640
<v Speaker 2>your son, for the fans, for your business, for your

0:23:56.640 --> 0:23:58.720
<v Speaker 2>ex husband. I mean, you're wearing a lot of hats

0:23:58.760 --> 0:24:01.520
<v Speaker 2>and we're just like, we're here for you. And I'm

0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:03.080
<v Speaker 2>going to speak on behalf of all the fans.

0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:03.800
<v Speaker 1>We love you.

0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:06.800
<v Speaker 3>I love you, Kelly. Thank you. I am going to

0:24:06.840 --> 0:24:07.320
<v Speaker 3>call you.

0:24:07.600 --> 0:24:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Yes, please do. I'm in la a lot. I would

0:24:09.680 --> 0:24:10.959
<v Speaker 1>love to see you, and I'm here for you.

0:24:11.000 --> 0:24:13.600
<v Speaker 2>I know that it's not easy, but like I mean,

0:24:13.680 --> 0:24:15.680
<v Speaker 2>even like you know, I talked to Brittany about it,

0:24:15.800 --> 0:24:18.040
<v Speaker 2>and I've talked to some other you know, people you know,

0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:21.240
<v Speaker 2>Bravo friends, and you know, they're all like.

0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:23.119
<v Speaker 1>What happened and how did you get through?

0:24:23.119 --> 0:24:24.720
<v Speaker 2>It's like, all of a sudden, it was like a

0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:27.040
<v Speaker 2>badge of honor and now like people are like help me.

0:24:27.080 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I don't know, but we do. We love

0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:34.119
<v Speaker 1>you so much and we're here for you.

0:24:34.320 --> 0:24:36.159
<v Speaker 3>If that's all one of the best things about us

0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:38.880
<v Speaker 3>being in this Bravo community. We have like this family

0:24:39.800 --> 0:24:42.560
<v Speaker 3>family with each other. We've got to take advantage of it.

0:24:42.800 --> 0:24:47.600
<v Speaker 2>And the show, the value person style is fantastic, Thank you.

0:24:47.680 --> 0:24:50.600
<v Speaker 2>It is fantastic. I hope everything works out with a

0:24:50.600 --> 0:24:54.760
<v Speaker 2>friend group. I am like literally watching and cannot wait

0:24:54.800 --> 0:24:56.920
<v Speaker 2>to hear more and more and more about what happens.

0:24:57.440 --> 0:24:58.920
<v Speaker 3>Thank you, honey, see you soon.

0:25:00.400 --> 0:25:04.560
<v Speaker 2>Are you single and in your chapter two and need

0:25:04.640 --> 0:25:07.480
<v Speaker 2>some advice? Call us or email us. All the info

0:25:07.640 --> 0:25:10.359
<v Speaker 2>is in the show notes, follow us on socials, and

0:25:10.400 --> 0:25:13.920
<v Speaker 2>make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do

0:25:14.119 --> 0:25:18.760
<v Speaker 2>part two in iHeartRadio podcast, where falling in love is

0:25:18.800 --> 0:25:20.080
<v Speaker 2>the main objective.