1 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff 2 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: I've never told you production of iHeart Radio. All right, 3 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 1: any Yes, I think I've talked a little about this before, 4 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,959 Speaker 1: but just kind of follow up. Did you love or 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 1: did you participate in penpile programs? I did participate in one. 6 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 1: I won't say I loved it, but there was a 7 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: sort of like intrigue, like a mysterious Even as a kid, 8 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: I was kind of suspicious though, where I was like, 9 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: I'm not sure Rule is a real guy, maybe somebody. 10 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: I don't know why, but I was very suspicious of 11 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: the whole thing. And that's that's what I remember the most, 12 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: is that I was being told I had to do 13 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: this thing. I kind of liked it. I liked the 14 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: mystery behind it, but I also thought I was being catfished. 15 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: I guess old for you. This is in fifth grade, 16 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: so I thought you made in the fifth grade. Wow. 17 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: I thought I was like some class was messing with me. 18 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: I wonder if I can find those I'd love to 19 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: read them and see what we were talking about. Like 20 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: that's the whole other level. I feel like when you 21 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: think you're being catfished in the fifth grade, yeah, I 22 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: had a pin pal. I think it was in the 23 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: third grade, and we wild send pictures and I really 24 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: had a lot of fun talking to her. I think 25 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: she lived in Indiana, I want to say. And then, 26 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: for like weirdness of my youth, like my first three 27 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 1: best friends all moved and one of them ended up 28 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: moving in to also Indiana randomly, and she and I 29 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: were pin pals for a long time because we couldn't 30 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 1: see each other, of course we were really young, and 31 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: then we lost touch I think two years later, because 32 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: I'm really bad about keeping in touch apparently. But yeah, 33 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: so I really loved the idea of pen pals. I 34 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: think I actually sent letters to soldiers at one point, 35 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:09,359 Speaker 1: trying to be, you know, all about that patriotic level. 36 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: But yeah, I kind of miss not having that. I 37 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: guess we could probably still do that today, but it's 38 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,800 Speaker 1: as weirder as we get older. I'm all for it 39 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: to you, you're all for it. I'm all for it though. 40 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: I think that could be cool. Yeah, I think it 41 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: would be fun too. I know, those conversations like people, 42 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:32,399 Speaker 1: because that kind of was what chat rooms were, right, Uh, definitely, yeah, yeah, 43 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: they could be And I communicated with people in different 44 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: countries for a while on chat rooms because it felt 45 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: so like, tell me what it's like where you are, 46 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: you know, and yeah my ms in days. Yeah I 47 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: was gonna say my a O l oh yeah yeah days. 48 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: So that's that's that level. But there's something to be 49 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,840 Speaker 1: said when we get the notifications. I know, one of 50 00:02:55,919 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: my favorite things when I was on these chat rooms 51 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,359 Speaker 1: or having pals is to see that note of vacation, 52 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: so so it's online and you know, or that you've 53 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,239 Speaker 1: got a new message. I love that. I still love that. Actually, 54 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,360 Speaker 1: like my friends, I don't know what's up. I have 55 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: to go back and check it. I'm like, Okay, a 56 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: new message. I feel like that's the thing. And because 57 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 1: we're talking about this, why are we talking about this? 58 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: We first and foremost it's because we have some amazing 59 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: pen pals. I think, what do you think? Yes, the best, 60 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: the absolute best, the best pen pals. And that's you, guys, 61 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: the listeners. You all who have continued to support us 62 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: and have stuck with us and or have joined us 63 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: and our fairly new and are sending us messages. It's 64 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: so rewarding. It's just so exciting to know someone's actually listening. 65 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: I'm still in shocks that people are listening. I'm like, 66 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: what people hear me? Oh no, oh no. But we 67 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: do want to say thank you to all of you 68 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: who continue again to stick with us, uh and just 69 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: tolerate us whichever it's fine, We'll take it. And also 70 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: just taking the time time to send us messages, and 71 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: we love it. We love love reading your messages, and 72 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: it is us, it is us. We may be a 73 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: little slow and getting back because we are constantly recording 74 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: and doing things, but we definitely read your messages and 75 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,280 Speaker 1: it is us who are writing back, whether it's through 76 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: the social media stuff or through emails, and uh, we 77 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: love to hear from you and your your insights are fantastic. 78 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,119 Speaker 1: And because they are so fantastic, we wanted to share 79 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: some of the emails that you guys have been sending 80 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 1: to us. Yes, yes, And we thought we would start 81 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: with a message from Patty. Patty wrote, I have an 82 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: update on the political situation here in Chile. I know 83 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,280 Speaker 1: it's a long email, so I don't expect you to 84 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: read the whole thing, mistake, um, but I thought you 85 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: might be interested in what happened regarding gender parody. Last 86 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 1: weekend we had municipal elections mayor, governor and counselor and 87 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: constituent elections. Sorry I don't know the word in English, 88 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: but a constitution is a member of the Member Assembly 89 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 1: that will be in charge of drafting the new constitution. 90 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: The voting method to choose constituents was the don't method, 91 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,919 Speaker 1: and apologies if I mispronouncing all of this. I try UM, 92 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,919 Speaker 1: which consists of a list of candidates. There are twenty 93 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,039 Speaker 1: eight districts in Chile. Each list has an amount of 94 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: candidates that depends on the seats each district is granted. 95 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: I live in district of five, which translates into six 96 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 1: seats in the Assembly, so each list was made up 97 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: of six people. This is where the gender parity condition 98 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 1: voted in parliament last year plays a key role. Each 99 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,520 Speaker 1: list had to be fifty percent women and fifty percent men, 100 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: except for districts with an odd number of seats where 101 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: the difference couldn't be more than one, like four men 102 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 1: and three women. For example, in each district there was 103 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: a list that represented the right wing coalition and a 104 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: list from the central left coalition. Those two have been 105 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: the most important coalitions in Chile's history since the return 106 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 1: of democracy in nineteen. In addition, there was a list 107 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: made up by another left wing alliance that was the 108 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: result of the union of the Communist Party and Frente Amplio. 109 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: Frente Amplio is a relatively new left wing coalition of 110 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: mostly young people dissatisfied with the send were left. There 111 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: were also a list of independence, most of them with 112 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: left wing values but tired of the traditional political parties 113 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 1: from both right and left and the insufficient work they've 114 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 1: done during the last thirty years, which is what led 115 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: to the protest in tween nineteen. In the first place, 116 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: if a list had a lot of votes, then more 117 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: than one member could make it into the Assembly. This 118 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: is also where gender parody was important. If a list 119 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: had enough votes so that those two people could make it, 120 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: they had to be one man and one woman, even 121 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: if one of them didn't get the second majority of 122 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 1: votes within the list. Let's say a list of three 123 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 1: men and three women had enough votes for two of 124 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,560 Speaker 1: them to make it. If the two most voted people 125 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: on the list were women in the third was a man, 126 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: only the first one wouldn't make it because of the 127 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 1: gender priority condition. The first men third majority overall would 128 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,359 Speaker 1: take the other seat instead of the woman within the 129 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: second majority of the votes. There are one members in 130 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: the Assembly, including seventeen seats reserved for Indigenous people from 131 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,599 Speaker 1: ten different indigenous groups. For bills to pass, two thirds 132 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: of the one and five members have to agree, so 133 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,480 Speaker 1: the main concern was if the right wing candidates were 134 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: going to make it to one third, because the right 135 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: didn't want a new constitution, so if they got the votes, 136 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: they'd be able to block new legislations. The results showed 137 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: a lot of important things. The right got thirty seven seats, 138 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: so they didn't get the fifty one seats they needed 139 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: to reach one third. The traditional center left only got 140 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,720 Speaker 1: twenty five seats. The other left wing coalition, Communist Party 141 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: and Front Day Amplio got twenty eight seats, and the 142 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: biggest upset came from the Independent list, which combined got 143 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 1: forty eight seats. The biggest losers were both the right 144 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: and center left, so everyone's talking about the new left 145 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,239 Speaker 1: and the importance of independence, which clearly shows that people 146 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: are over traditional politicians. The Assembly will be made up 147 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: of seventy seven women and seventy eight men. The gender 148 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 1: parity condition ended up benefiting four women and seven men. Yes, 149 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: if it weren't for the gender parity condition, there would 150 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: actually be more women than men. But if it weren't 151 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: for it, most parties would have had only men in 152 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 1: their list. The average age of member is forty four 153 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: years old, seventy eight is the oldest and twenty one 154 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: the youngest. Fifty nine of them are lawyers, which was predictable, 155 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: but the exciting part is that twenty of them are teachers, 156 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: so hopefully we get proper laws when it comes to education. Also, 157 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: six members of the Assembly are part of the l 158 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 1: g b t Q plus community, four gay men, one 159 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: lesbian I voted for her, and one pan sexual woman. 160 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,280 Speaker 1: Sadly at none of the two trans candidates made it. 161 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: There were also some shocking upsets in the elections for 162 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: mayors and governors. Few young female candidates for mayor from 163 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 1: the Communist Party in front day Amptio one in big 164 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: cities where the incumbent mayors are right wing men. I'm 165 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 1: not going to go into details about that because this 166 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: is already an extremely long and probably boring email. No, 167 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,079 Speaker 1: the Assembly starts working on the new constitution in July. 168 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: The whole process is supposed to take one year. In November, 169 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 1: we have presidential elections. The results of this municipal and 170 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: constitutent days elections show that anything can happen. Hopefully the 171 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: amount of different left wing coalitions doesn't divide the votes 172 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 1: too much and then the right ends up staying in office. 173 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: I guess we'll have to wait and see. Thank you. 174 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sending that. We it's so 175 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 1: great to hear when we talk about something in a 176 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: different country where we're getting kind of the research that 177 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: we can find, it's so great to hear from someone 178 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 1: from that country and this is fantastic information. So we 179 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: really appreciate you taking the time. Definitely not boring. We 180 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: love long emails. We all love all kinds of emails. 181 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: I've never apologize for sending a long email. We love 182 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,679 Speaker 1: all the emails. We love it. Yes, and you taught 183 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 1: us a lot about the government of Chile, and that's 184 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: amazing and it's really hopeful. Yeah, we love seeing things change, 185 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:52,920 Speaker 1: especially when it's looks so dark. Here going on to 186 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: some more emails about the term hoser and I was 187 00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 1: really excited, So Steph wrote it is the most Canadian 188 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: and friendly insult one can make invented or made famous 189 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: by Rick Morannis, Yes, and Dave Thomas as Bob and 190 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: Doug mackenzie too lovable stereotypical Canadian bozos anyway, continues to 191 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,720 Speaker 1: be a friendly tease. We used to make fun of 192 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: our fellow Canucks, which I had a hard time saying prebviously. 193 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: Just so you know, the maple syrup in the Hoser 194 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 1: cocktail suggests this Canadian conduction. So thank you, Steph. I 195 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,880 Speaker 1: like that, and I love Rick Morana's so come on, 196 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 1: that makes sense, Okay, I love that. And then we 197 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: have a couple of anonymous ones. Here's one from a 198 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 1: Colorado listener. Hello, y'all, Thank you all for the hard 199 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: work you do, which has really helped me stay grounded 200 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,599 Speaker 1: and never feel lonely as I can always count on 201 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,319 Speaker 1: the team to get these episodes out each week. Thank you. 202 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,559 Speaker 1: I remerged in Colorado during these special times, and I 203 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 1: can agree how strange it is to buy cannabis in 204 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 1: a store for the first time or every time. The 205 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,840 Speaker 1: shops i've been to have an online orto system so 206 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 1: you can pick out what you want beforehand, but are 207 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: still cash only. I drive by one that has an 208 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: led sign that switches between Maska require and now taking cards, 209 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: so I'm not sure if that is a locality controlled issue, 210 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: like delivery are having shops within city limits. One strange 211 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: thing I enjoy is the variety of vibes that each 212 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 1: shot can have. One near me is covered a mural 213 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: and has a chill stone ReVibe. And I even got 214 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,320 Speaker 1: to chat about video games and dogs with the white 215 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: male butt tender after I asked my questions about bath 216 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: bombs and skin patches because Vinci's, which he couldn't answer, 217 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: but lamented how the only woman who worked there moved on. 218 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,960 Speaker 1: Another shot that only sells what they are their partners 219 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: make was more closed off and nondescript, no displays, but 220 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 1: two windows you can chat at. They had more women 221 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: working there. I saw a fifty split between the fourth 222 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: staff that day, and while they were adamant about their 223 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: dedicated hours to vulnerable people, they were very friendly and 224 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: wanted to make sure I was going to not mess 225 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: myself up and had answers to all my questions. One 226 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: more that I haven't gone in, but I've seen pictures 227 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,959 Speaker 1: of looks like a high end skincare or jewelry boutique 228 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: with all white decor, glass displays on the walls and counters. 229 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: I am a little scared to go in because of that, 230 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: but who knows what the future holds. Another joy is 231 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 1: the variety of people you'll see, from young professionals in 232 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: their suits picking something up on the way home, to 233 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: old hippie types with the long hair and colorful clothes, 234 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: maybe a fringe bag, to the tight laced dad looking 235 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 1: guy with a short buzz cut and flannels. I am 236 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: still very awkward when I go, and especially if I 237 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: forget to get cash, behoror and but most people working 238 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: at these places are nice, patient and want to make 239 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: sure you have a good time. Thank you again, and 240 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: do not let anyone give you gruff about getting too stoned. 241 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: It happens to everyone at some point. You never know 242 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:36,839 Speaker 1: your dose until you have some thank you. This letter 243 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 1: made me feel better, so we really appreciate it. Yeah, 244 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: we'll have to come to Colorado soon check out all 245 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:47,119 Speaker 1: those places. Yes, that sounds really cool and we appreciate 246 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 1: all of the information. It's strange that we're in the 247 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 1: same country, but to me that seems like such a 248 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 1: distant foreign idea. You know right, but yeah, yeah, I 249 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: love it. I would love to visit Colorado and check 250 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: these places out us. We're gonna try. We got some 251 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 1: emails about our pronification episode, and so we wanted to 252 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: share because I think they point on some things that 253 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,599 Speaker 1: we did not highlight as well and or we just 254 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: skimmed over. So from one listener, I wanted to start 255 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,640 Speaker 1: with the fact that I love your podcast and I 256 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: enjoyed the perunifications of girls and women one but you 257 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 1: guys missed address or maybe you didn't have time to 258 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,079 Speaker 1: who knows. Uh. The immigrants story my case is a 259 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: lot like of many other women and girls I know. 260 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 1: My parents are immigrants. They brought me to the States 261 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,920 Speaker 1: when I was eight years old. Neither spake English, and 262 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 1: after a long year of coming home from crying from school, 263 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: I learned English. That's when my perunification started. Out of necessities, 264 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: some may say my parents were just trying to make 265 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 1: a better life for myself and the siblings that came along. 266 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 1: Did I forget to mention I'm the oldest of six. Wow. 267 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:53,400 Speaker 1: I quickly became my parents interpreters everywhere we went, bills, schools, governments, 268 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 1: and doctors everyday lives. I was there to know everything 269 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,719 Speaker 1: and interpret for them. I was making calls for them 270 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 1: to pay bills and even shot upping. At a twelve, 271 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: I became sick, diagnosed with juvenile rumatoid arthritis, mixed connected 272 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: tissues disease, and Reno's phenomenon. Because by then I already 273 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 1: had baby siblings, my mom couldn't go and she didn't drive, 274 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: and my dad took me to my appointments, which felt 275 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: like I was alone. And I forgot to mention he's 276 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,920 Speaker 1: my stepdad and he's a functioning alcoholic and smoker. He 277 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: was abandoned by his mom and stopped going to school 278 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 1: in fifth grade, so he's pretty ignorant in a lot 279 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 1: of things, and I was pretty much on my own. 280 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: He would take me to Lomalanda Hospital and he would 281 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,560 Speaker 1: just say whatever the doctor says to do. He never 282 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: asked questions. We didn't have conversations regarding anything. It was 283 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: as if it was just the doctor and me, and 284 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 1: he was a provider, not a father. Eventually, when I 285 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: learned to drive, I started taking myself to my appointments. 286 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: My mom was too busy with my other siblings and 287 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: I was dealing with medical conditions and deciding things I 288 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 1: shouldn't have to. At that age, I was driving without license, 289 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: shopping for groceries, paying bills, and even picking up my 290 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: siblings from school. And there is no her stops with 291 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 1: my siblings had school meetings and doctor's appointments. If there 292 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: weren't translators, I had to go. And at that time 293 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 1: I didn't know better. It was my normal. I just 294 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,560 Speaker 1: had to help. I'll learned to sign their signature, and 295 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: I became the one who signs fills all the pain 296 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: works for my siblings at school to my stuff. In 297 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: high school, I started skipping school and signing my absences 298 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 1: and they never knew. I got out of everything that 299 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 1: was hard for me, like math, and I didn't learn much. 300 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 1: And now my fifteen year old daughter knows math more 301 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: than I says she was in the fourth grade. I 302 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: didn't go to college. I started working in the sixteen 303 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: to help the household because my dad had a stroke. 304 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 1: I didn't know or cared to find out about free 305 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 1: college because my parents were ignorant in the subject and 306 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: had more things to worry about. I know they didn't 307 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: do it on purpose, but it has affected me. I 308 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 1: love my siblings sincerely. They're like my kids, and they 309 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 1: considered me a mom. But I feel like I didn't 310 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: have my childhood, so as I grew up, I tried 311 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 1: to encourage my siblings to do good in school and 312 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,440 Speaker 1: go to college. Well, my parents weren't able to give 313 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 1: to me. I wanted that for them. I'm there seven now, 314 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: and I'm proud to say my siblings are doing great. 315 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: One is in nursing school, the other one works first 316 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 1: senator in California, and my parents have grown a lot, 317 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: but the dependency hasn't gone away. I got married, moved out, 318 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: and I'm still doing things for them. My other siblings 319 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 1: took my role of sorts when I left, and a 320 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: lot of things you mentioned in the episodes I have. 321 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 1: I needed to be in charge. Things have to be 322 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: in order. I'm just bentle. I've had depression for a 323 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: long time. I never wanted kids, and I got pregnant 324 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 1: on the pill, and even though I love her profoundly, 325 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: I changed the story with her. She's had a childhood 326 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: and does not worry about bills, money, drugon dad's vice 327 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: or interpreter. I don't ever want any more kids. My 328 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: siblings feel like my kids. I used to put my 329 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 1: sister to sleep at age ten. She was my actual 330 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 1: live doll. Kids are hard emotionally. I'm always having a 331 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 1: battle within myself if every decision I make is going 332 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: to her life. I loved her so much that sometimes 333 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 1: I feel like maybe I shouldn't have been a parent. 334 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 1: I have this inner battle and so much self doubt 335 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: and judgment towards myself, my husband, then sometimes even her 336 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 1: when I catched myself thinking things like at your age, 337 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: I knew everything to run a household, forgetting that I 338 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: chose to have her be a child and not want 339 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,360 Speaker 1: her to go through what I did, and questioning am 340 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Being a 341 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: mom is hard and it sucks, especially with all the 342 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 1: internal baggage I have. So yeah, this is a little 343 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 1: bit of my family's immigrants story where I became parentified 344 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 1: and absolutely correct. We didn't mention at all of that status. 345 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 1: And one of the things that I had said previously, 346 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,080 Speaker 1: because I got this email it's like she's right on, 347 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: is that, of course, within the system, there's not a 348 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 1: lot of research. As we talked about protification, and it 349 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 1: is very minute and very focused, and it shouldn't be, 350 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: because we need more research, and immigration is definitely one 351 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,880 Speaker 1: of those things, especially when we talk about people with 352 00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:54,359 Speaker 1: English that's not their first language, and how often times 353 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: I saw it so many times in the social work 354 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 1: field that we had to have them bring an older 355 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 1: child along to translate for us because the younger child 356 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: may who may have gotten in trouble with us, wasn't 357 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 1: able to do that, or because the lack of funding 358 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: that the people are refusing to pay to have interpreters 359 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 1: in the state. It's difficult. And you talk about small 360 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 1: areas too. If you go to a small town, how 361 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: bad that is, And you're right, and in the school 362 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 1: system it's even worse. They let them kind of just 363 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: go under the radar and then blame that whatever it 364 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,960 Speaker 1: might happen on the fact that they're bad kids instead 365 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: of actually seeing the problem. And yeah, it's such a 366 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 1: big issue. Thank you so much for sending that to us, 367 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,920 Speaker 1: because we do need to talk about that more often 368 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:51,719 Speaker 1: than loudly. Yes, yes, thank you. Another listener wrote in 369 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,439 Speaker 1: about this motification. Not very often, if ever, have I 370 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: heard this conversation. I have therapy tonight and will unpack 371 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: some of this with my therapist. I greatly appreciate you 372 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,520 Speaker 1: pointing out that poverty plays a huge role in this. 373 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 1: I am the closest child in age to several disabled 374 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:10,160 Speaker 1: siblings and in divorce, poverty and you have the show 375 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: that was my childhood. I had parent like responsibility from 376 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,400 Speaker 1: the age of twelve on in caring for my disabled 377 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 1: younger sister, you know, so my mom could work. She 378 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 1: needed twenty four seven supervision, was not potty trained, and nonverbal. 379 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 1: She would eat things that weren't food and would escape 380 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 1: the house if you didn't keep an eye on her. 381 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,840 Speaker 1: She wore diapers until she was eighteen. Some of the 382 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 1: compounding traumatizing events for me were I spent a long 383 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,959 Speaker 1: weekend alone caring for her when my mother took a 384 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,479 Speaker 1: trip when I was twelve and she was ten. We 385 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: lived in an extremely impoverished gang neighborhood and I had 386 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 1: no adult support. There were long chunks of time I 387 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 1: had to come home right after school every single day 388 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 1: to get her off the bus and take care of her. 389 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: I think before my parents divorce, I had taken a 390 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 1: back seat to my disabled siblings needs. And I totally 391 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: get why. None of this was malicious, but I still 392 00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:59,199 Speaker 1: suffered nonetheless, Mostly what I took from this was I 393 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:02,280 Speaker 1: don't have a right to have means and shame and 394 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:05,080 Speaker 1: one hell of an attachment injury. I just was not 395 00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: wired to caregiving or was particularly good at caregiving at 396 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: that age. Anyway, I just wanted to bring to this 397 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 1: discussion the disability piece a little more highlight. Thanks, ladies. 398 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: I admire and like you both a lot. Oh, thank you, 399 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,119 Speaker 1: thank you, yes, and thank you so much for we 400 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 1: do and we appreciate so much everyone taking the time 401 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: out to share their experiences with us and add to 402 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: this conversation, because yes, there is so much missing. And yeah, 403 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,199 Speaker 1: until Samantha told me about it, I didn't know what 404 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 1: proonification was either. So I think this did resonate with 405 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,400 Speaker 1: a lot of people, right, Yeah, and here's another one. Hello. 406 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,800 Speaker 1: I just finished listening to your episode of pronification and 407 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: deeply connected with it and wanted to share my experience. 408 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,880 Speaker 1: My mother was an active addiction until about five years ago, 409 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,399 Speaker 1: meaning that for the first eighteen years of my life, 410 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 1: I was a primary caretaker for my younger sister throughout homelessness, 411 00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 1: physical abuse, for my mother's partners, and Raylar kiss stuff. 412 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,960 Speaker 1: I took care of my sister and myself. Therapy has 413 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,439 Speaker 1: helped me tremendously with the consequential self destructive behaviors, and 414 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 1: even past that, it helped me recognize my age regression. 415 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,200 Speaker 1: I am a little quote not in a sexual sense 416 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 1: that's d D slash lge and the two are often 417 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,679 Speaker 1: mistakenly lumped together, but in every other sense. When I 418 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 1: have time to myself, I'm holding stuffed animals, watching cartoons, 419 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,439 Speaker 1: and wearing fuzzy clothes. I don't take a pacifier or 420 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 1: wear a diaper or not that there's anything wrong with it, 421 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 1: but it's still a part of myself that I'm embarrassed about. 422 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: It brings me the comfort that I didn't have as 423 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: a child. And she suggests that if you could talk 424 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: about age regression, which we will in an episode, I 425 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: would be extraordinarily thankful. I love the show. I've been 426 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 1: listening for years. You guys are the most fun host yet. 427 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: Yeah that made me feel good. But yeah, you're not alone. 428 00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 1: This is not uncommon at all, as in fact, there's 429 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,239 Speaker 1: kind of like that too, hard sets that happens as 430 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,159 Speaker 1: adults where either if you don't have that child, do 431 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 1: you go where you can't understand childish things, so let's 432 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: say lack of imagination maybe, or just being all about 433 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 1: the reality of you have to be right now, you 434 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: have to take care of yourself and this is what matters, 435 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,680 Speaker 1: or you do regress in trying to embrace that, which 436 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,639 Speaker 1: is not a bad thing. It's actually very therapeutic unless 437 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,359 Speaker 1: it is, like, becomes a point that it inhibits you 438 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 1: from living daily life, So of course that could be problematic, 439 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,640 Speaker 1: but typically this is so it's not abnormal. I've had 440 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,119 Speaker 1: many of friends who have had hard childhoods like this 441 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,480 Speaker 1: or have had to be adults to regress and find 442 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 1: joy in that. And I think one of the big 443 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,359 Speaker 1: stigmas as adults as we kind of call that out 444 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: too much and make jokes of that, and we shouldn't 445 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: because you should be able to enjoy these things, and 446 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: having uh, stuffed animal is not a bad thing. Having 447 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,720 Speaker 1: in a vivid imagination is not a bad thing. Enjoying 448 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: child things like cartoons not a bad thing. But yeah, 449 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,000 Speaker 1: it does feel. It does feel like you're failing sometimes 450 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 1: because you're like, is this normal, which there's no such thing, 451 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,879 Speaker 1: But yeah, you're not the only one. And thank you 452 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,199 Speaker 1: so much for sharing and being vulnerable with us with that, 453 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: because that is a lot. That is a lot to 454 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 1: have to dig through. Yes, and I certainly Samantha knows. 455 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,439 Speaker 1: I always show up with a stuffed animal so I 456 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: can relate. I get panicked if I don't know, then 457 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 1: my dog wants to take well and I refuse never 458 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 1: have ruby. Yeah, and I have a very active imagination too, 459 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:27,440 Speaker 1: So we wanted to wrap this one up with a 460 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 1: message from Twitter from at dr jess wits. I hope 461 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: I'm not butchering that completely. That's our handle. Yeah, that's 462 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 1: our Twitter handle. Happy Pride Month and what better way 463 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,960 Speaker 1: to start than being super vulnerable here and seeing you 464 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:47,159 Speaker 1: all something I'm coming out. I want the world to 465 00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: know a sec will time for me to be proud 466 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 1: and not hide anymore. Sorry, I guess it was meant 467 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 1: to be saying, but I have a terrible voice, so sorry. 468 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,959 Speaker 1: I loved it. It's been a difficult and freeing realization 469 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,360 Speaker 1: for me, one that came two years ago after many 470 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:06,360 Speaker 1: years of believing that there was something wrong with me. 471 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,320 Speaker 1: I was depressed, feeling like a terrible wife and person, 472 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 1: and then I listened to the app Moms of podcast 473 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,800 Speaker 1: episode the a bcs of being ace. I cried as 474 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,879 Speaker 1: I was driving home that day, as what they were 475 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: talking about was me. I wasn't strange, I didn't have 476 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: anything wrong with me. I found a part of myself. 477 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,800 Speaker 1: It was and still is a journey to discovering and 478 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: defining me, but this helped place a very important puzzle 479 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: piece down and lock it in. Now. I'm adding hetero romantic, 480 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:36,320 Speaker 1: a sexual to mom, genetics, PhD, anime, fan of video gamer, wife, 481 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: and more yet to be discovered to my definition. I 482 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 1: share this in case someone else may feel the same, 483 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: and no, you are not alone. It sucks when you 484 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: can't understand yourself, but it can feel so liberating when 485 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,640 Speaker 1: you finally find that meaningful fragment. Keep searching and you'll 486 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:54,360 Speaker 1: get their piece by important peace. That's so beautiful. Thank 487 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: you so much for sharing that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and 488 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 1: I totally totally agree, Like I love thinking of our 489 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:05,200 Speaker 1: continuing work in progress, continuing self discovery and the importance 490 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,919 Speaker 1: of finding those pieces and feeling like there's nothing wrong 491 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: with you right. Yes, it's very beautiful, very very beautiful. 492 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,679 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, and thanks to all of the 493 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:19,280 Speaker 1: listeners who wrote to us. To all of you for listening. 494 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 1: Please keep contacting us, sending us things, your stories, your experiences. 495 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,640 Speaker 1: We love it, We love it all. We love hearing 496 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,800 Speaker 1: from you. You can email us at stephaniely A, mom 497 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,480 Speaker 1: Stuff at I heart media dot com. You can find 498 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,679 Speaker 1: us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast or on Instagram 499 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: at stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks. It's always for 500 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: our super producer, Christina, Thank you, and thanks to you 501 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 1: for listening. Stuff I Never Told You production too. I 502 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,880 Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcast on my heart Radio, visit 503 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 1: the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen 504 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.