Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer poy. Uh, make sure to check out
Speaker 1: our YouTube channel and you can find the link to
Speaker 1: our YouTube channel to subscribe by going to the Nikki
Speaker 1: Glazer Pod and going to the link in the in
Speaker 1: the bio. You get it. Um, I just posted a
Speaker 1: video last night or I guess a picture last night
Speaker 1: on Nicki Glazer Pod, which a lot of people are like,
Speaker 1: it's private, and I'm like, yeah, you damn right in it. Oh.
Speaker 1: I think I covered this yesterday, but I posted a
Speaker 1: picture yesterday of Andrew rubbing my feet last night. Um, Me,
Speaker 1: Kirsten and Andrew were all hanging out, um late night
Speaker 1: last night. Kursten is in town again staying with me,
Speaker 1: uh to participate in this thing where I have cameras
Speaker 1: following my life or whatever. I don't know what's going on. Um,
Speaker 1: And apparently it got out that's something that I'm hinting
Speaker 1: at something. And then they're rushing the announcement because I'm
Speaker 1: people are talking and I'm like, good, are you gonna
Speaker 1: like as At first, I was like are they gonna
Speaker 1: take it away? I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to
Speaker 1: do it, like I love about before I was like,
Speaker 1: what are they gonna do take it away and then
Speaker 1: they're like, um, we might. Um, no, they're not, but
Speaker 1: it's uh so Kristen's back in town and we hung
Speaker 1: out last night and she rubbed. We got foot massages yesterday.
Speaker 1: We're so good in St. Louis, but there weren't long enough. Um,
Speaker 1: they're only a half hour and I was like, can
Speaker 1: I pay you as an extra for another Let's get
Speaker 1: fifteen more minutes on here, and they were like, we
Speaker 1: don't really deviate from what's on the menu. And I
Speaker 1: was like, fuck because it was so good. But um,
Speaker 1: Luckily I get a package notification yesterday. At the end
Speaker 1: of the day after I'm in Like Kirsten goes to
Speaker 1: bed after we've like rubbed each other's feet. Andrew, by
Speaker 1: the way, rubbed my feet this weekend, and I think
Speaker 1: I talked about it, but I know no. I offered
Speaker 1: him a hundred dollars to rub my feet on in
Speaker 1: um Atlanta and Luigi's barking at Kirsten. I think she's
Speaker 1: trying to take him for a walk. He has been
Speaker 1: like biting her and being such a little bastard to her.
Speaker 1: He's just he's no son of mine. I'll tell you
Speaker 1: that um Kurston is okay, he's like attacking me. She said,
Speaker 1: one second, are you serious? Jesus Christ. That was so
Speaker 1: that was so funny. I went out there to just
Speaker 1: check on him seriously, like viciously attacking her. She's trying
Speaker 1: to take him for a walk, and he's like and
Speaker 1: I walk out and he instantly stopped. He's like, my
Speaker 1: mom just saw me being a bit to the babysitter,
Speaker 1: and um, that has happened to me before when I
Speaker 1: used to babysit for um these kids. One time, the
Speaker 1: mom overheard the daughter being a little rude to me,
Speaker 1: like she she didn't realize her mom was in the
Speaker 1: next room, and the mom came in and was like,
Speaker 1: is that the way you talked to her? And she
Speaker 1: was like um uh. And the mom like goes get
Speaker 1: in here and like you shoot her daughter out around
Speaker 1: the corner and then she came back and was like
Speaker 1: nice to me until her mom left again. But that
Speaker 1: was exactly like Luigi. It's it's just so sad to
Speaker 1: see I just don't understand. White dogs can't understand. Like
Speaker 1: when there's someone I love and I'm hugging them and
Speaker 1: I'm all wrapped up in them, and they witnessed that, Like, why,
Speaker 1: here's jealous. He's jealous? Oh whoa, No, yeah, when this
Speaker 1: lady comes to town, my mom's attention gets taken away. Honestly,
Speaker 1: he gets more attention because we I like, she makes
Speaker 1: me see parts of him. Then I'm like, oh, he
Speaker 1: is so cute and like like dote on him so
Speaker 1: much more. You're maybe right, though, It's just it's it's
Speaker 1: probably he just is jealous of her, And you know
Speaker 1: we're talking about jealousy a lot on the show today.
Speaker 1: We already recorded the pot I'm not gonna lie to
Speaker 1: you guys. Kirsten Um is on the pod later. Andrew
Speaker 1: is also going to be here, we know that, but
Speaker 1: he had to go pick up his lady at the airport,
Speaker 1: so we had to tape the first part early. Um,
Speaker 1: what I was saying before about getting my foot rubbed
Speaker 1: by Andrew, It's so good, noah, Like I thought the
Speaker 1: photo was so funny that Um that you posted on
Speaker 1: our Instagram where he had a blanket over his lap.
Speaker 1: Usually they put the blanket on the person receiving the massage.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, Yeah, Well, I will say that he already
Speaker 1: had the blanket on his lap. He was a cold
Speaker 1: little boy last night for some reason when he got
Speaker 1: I don't understand it, but he was. I guess he's
Speaker 1: just I think he just got a new jacket and
Speaker 1: wanted to like wear it around and like show it off.
Speaker 1: But he what we were watching love on the Spectrum.
Speaker 1: He got a blanket to like sit with, and then
Speaker 1: afterwards we were kind of like just talking and hanging
Speaker 1: out and I just Curson was rubbing my foot. She's
Speaker 1: very gentle and like, oh the bones are like She's
Speaker 1: just like gentle and like she pulled my toe a
Speaker 1: little bit and she felt it kind of like like
Speaker 1: like not crack, but like the bunyan like the cartilage
Speaker 1: I guess made some kind of like you know a
Speaker 1: little like noise and was just like I can't I
Speaker 1: can't d D good. And I just was. I just
Speaker 1: went over and I plopped up my foot on Andrew's
Speaker 1: lap and I go, please just a little bit, and
Speaker 1: he just he gets his knuckles in there and he
Speaker 1: just does the scraping motion on my foot and it
Speaker 1: is so good, and he he goes, why do I
Speaker 1: like this? Because he was doing things that we're making
Speaker 1: me like literally like squirm and go like like I
Speaker 1: was like flipping out because I love I love the pain.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's wrong with me. No. When I
Speaker 1: went to go get a foot massage yesterday, I told
Speaker 1: these women they were like, you know, I was like,
Speaker 1: I have bunions, and they're like, when you walk out
Speaker 1: of here, we want your feet to feel so good.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I gotta stop you right there. I
Speaker 1: want them to feel bad like I want to be,
Speaker 1: and I don't. If you were to heal my bunyan's,
Speaker 1: I would be sad. Pleasure and pain are the same
Speaker 1: parts of the brain. Yes, yes, they are love and
Speaker 1: haters the same thing. But that's interesting that a gerain pain.
Speaker 1: They must really I would like to do an m
Speaker 1: R I of my brain because I really do. There's
Speaker 1: there's certain pains that I go no, no, no, but
Speaker 1: these dull kind of like achy and certainly like not
Speaker 1: like pressing on them and being like you girl, you're
Speaker 1: not like, oh man, I love it. And um Andrews
Speaker 1: just so good at it, Noah, like he that's why
Speaker 1: he probably likes giving them to you, because he's really
Speaker 1: good at it. Yeah, it's like my blowjob theory. If
Speaker 1: you tell someone they're good at something, they'll do it forever,
Speaker 1: and they'll do it a lot, and then they'll get
Speaker 1: good at it. That's why you know, tell girls they're
Speaker 1: good at blow jobs even if they're bad, because they
Speaker 1: want to. We all want to do things we're good at.
Speaker 1: But Andrew seriously is good at it. I was trying
Speaker 1: last week when he was rubbing my feet. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, like the best golfers are also really
Speaker 1: good massagers. Like I was trying to just like get
Speaker 1: like believe. I mean, like I think it really helps
Speaker 1: her swing, like just catering to his desires. But it's true,
Speaker 1: like he really is. He knows how to just get
Speaker 1: in there. I think it's because he has aggression towards me.
Speaker 1: So what I really want foot wise, no one else
Speaker 1: can give me because no one hates me as much
Speaker 1: as he does. But he was just getting in there
Speaker 1: and it was so good and um, but he doesn't
Speaker 1: like to do it. I love to massage people, I
Speaker 1: swear to God, Like if people liked the same foot
Speaker 1: massages that I liked, It's kind of like love language is,
Speaker 1: you know, when you just like give your love language,
Speaker 1: and some people are like, please, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be touched. I'm not, but you're like, but I want touched,
Speaker 1: so I want to give it, like I love. If
Speaker 1: Andrew wanted his feet rubbed, I would do it forever.
Speaker 1: And it's just bothers me that no one in my
Speaker 1: life wants to rub my feet. It's always something I
Speaker 1: have to like beg for. I just want, I want,
Speaker 1: and I know I'm gonna get d m s of
Speaker 1: like I would rub your feet. I just want someone
Speaker 1: I already know like, and I guess it's just if
Speaker 1: I end up with a person, I think it's a
Speaker 1: deal breaker for me. Honestly, No, uh that if a
Speaker 1: guy or a woman that I end up with who
Speaker 1: knows doesn't like touching my feet or doesn't want to
Speaker 1: give me foot rubs, I don't think I can be
Speaker 1: with that person. Like I need it, and um they
Speaker 1: need they need it and k E n E A D. Luckily, though,
Speaker 1: as I was getting a little bit annoyed because Andrew
Speaker 1: stopped rubbing my feet so quickly and I was just like,
Speaker 1: I want more, Like it just wasn't enough, I get
Speaker 1: a notification on my phone that I have a package
Speaker 1: in the basement, and I go down to get my
Speaker 1: packages and it's gigantic from Amazon. I'm like, what the
Speaker 1: funk is this? I didn't even remember ordering it. But
Speaker 1: I got myself a foot massage. I got myself an
Speaker 1: electronic one where you put your feet in it and
Speaker 1: it like massages them. I didn't buy one, I thought,
Speaker 1: because I was so overwhelmed by the selection. There were
Speaker 1: too many choices, and I was paralyzed, you know, the
Speaker 1: paralysis of choice. There's too many, so you just don't
Speaker 1: buy anything. That's often when I feel in bookstores, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want everything, I need less choices. And on Amazon
Speaker 1: there's literally thousands of these foot massaghers and they all
Speaker 1: have like five star reviews from thousands of reviews. So
Speaker 1: it's like, what do I want? And so I just
Speaker 1: I just went you know, any meaning money, um, and
Speaker 1: then pretty much with like with my toes, and I
Speaker 1: just got one that, um, I don't even know I
Speaker 1: chose it. They just weren't that expensive. So I go, Okay,
Speaker 1: if I don't like this a hundred and twenty dollar thing,
Speaker 1: that's not like it's not a small amount of money,
Speaker 1: but it's not a gigantic enough amount of money that
Speaker 1: I can't just like gift it to someone and then
Speaker 1: get a new one and just keep doing them until
Speaker 1: honestly I might because there's no review sites that go
Speaker 1: We've ranked, We've tried them all and ranked the best.
Speaker 1: They just all the review sites go off of Amazon
Speaker 1: reviews and you can't trust those all the time. So
Speaker 1: maybe I'll just go through all of them and try
Speaker 1: them all and have an actual But no one wants
Speaker 1: the kind of foot massage I want. I want to
Speaker 1: put my foot in a thing and then take it
Speaker 1: out and have it be like mangled, like I stuck
Speaker 1: it in a fucking one of those I don't know
Speaker 1: what are the machines that um a blender, maybe a
Speaker 1: blender or like that crumple um cars, you know where
Speaker 1: they put a car in it and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden it's like compactor and it makes a compactor. That's it.
Speaker 1: I want that kind of pressure on my feet. So
Speaker 1: we'll see how it goes. I'll let you know, but
Speaker 1: let's get into the show and hey, Andrewing, good morning.
Speaker 1: How you know it? I like that one. This one's
Speaker 1: one of my faves. It's um she she wore it
Speaker 1: in something like this is the cursing goes she wore that,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, like a different kind of this one. No,
Speaker 1: I think you pay nine grand for that because she
Speaker 1: might have wore. If I could find something she wore,
Speaker 1: I would. I just want to. I would love to
Speaker 1: feel what she head. No, I don't want her pennies now,
Speaker 1: that's that's invasive. But I would take a shirt that
Speaker 1: smelled like her or something. If I found my my
Speaker 1: mom my dad's cousin had um cigarette butts of John
Speaker 1: Lennon's that they snuck into the hotel and like stole
Speaker 1: his cigarette butts, and I alway thought that was really cool.
Speaker 1: They were in like a ziplock bag and like had
Speaker 1: his DNA on them. Essentially, I would I would take
Speaker 1: something like that. Would you them? None was just I
Speaker 1: don't think they're worth anything. Are there any swift ease
Speaker 1: out there who have figured out what kind of perfume
Speaker 1: Taylor swiftwares? Has there been like a breakdown girl laundry
Speaker 1: detergent bit about that? I mean there's definitely like in
Speaker 1: the in the subreddits, there's like what are products or
Speaker 1: what are things that Taylor loves and it's like every
Speaker 1: like kind of food or whatever. But um no, if
Speaker 1: I found out what fragranc she wore, I would buy
Speaker 1: it within uh, Like it would just it would just
Speaker 1: buy Apple pay, would just go we know you want
Speaker 1: this and just buy it would come from inside your
Speaker 1: body something. Yeah. And the thing is that it wouldn't
Speaker 1: smell the same as it does on her, like not
Speaker 1: everything's going to translate, you know. It is weird like
Speaker 1: with somebody celebrity things like the cigarette butts thing like
Speaker 1: if you could prove it, I don't know how you
Speaker 1: that's the thing you can't prove unless you did a
Speaker 1: DNA test and contacted Yoko and was like, can we
Speaker 1: get some hair from a brush or you know, there's
Speaker 1: every you leave behind. I was reading some article last
Speaker 1: night about having kids in um now that the world
Speaker 1: is kind of like ending, and this woman the headline
Speaker 1: really got me. Was in New York magazine and it
Speaker 1: was you know, on Instagram, they'll post like a quote
Speaker 1: from the article and then they're like click through and
Speaker 1: you gotta go to the link and then click the
Speaker 1: picture and yeah, well it was a great piece that
Speaker 1: this woman wrote about being pregnant during the like, found
Speaker 1: out she was pregnant in January two twenty gave birth
Speaker 1: while while they were like evacuating from the wildfires and
Speaker 1: there's a pandemic, like the world was burning around them
Speaker 1: when they had this baby. And her dad had said
Speaker 1: something like, um, let me, let me look at the quote.
Speaker 1: But what they were talking about was, um, I don't
Speaker 1: even know how this relates to Taylor Swift or anything
Speaker 1: that we were just talking about. Wait while were we
Speaker 1: just talking about? Because I had a point it all
Speaker 1: related as I look affriming that it comes from a celebrity,
Speaker 1: like the cigarette butts and stuff like, Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's not helping me at all. I don't know where
Speaker 1: my mind is. Oh, this was the quote. Um, My
Speaker 1: father keeps talking about how crazy it's gonna be for
Speaker 1: Jude to learn Judah's name of her son for Jude. Oh,
Speaker 1: there we go. Yeah, I'm totally I'm sure that was it.
Speaker 1: My father keeps talking about how crazy it will be
Speaker 1: for Jude to learn about the day he was born
Speaker 1: in a pandemic while evacuated for wildfires, And all I
Speaker 1: can think is how much I wish Jude might grow
Speaker 1: up in a world where the Summer of sounds aberrational.
Speaker 1: I suspect he won't. So it's like these kids. I
Speaker 1: always say that too, like, oh, my god, you had
Speaker 1: a baby during the pandemic. That's gonna be crazy. That baby,
Speaker 1: for the rest of his life is going to know
Speaker 1: when we God, I was born during the craziest year.
Speaker 1: And it's like, or is that just gonna be the
Speaker 1: new norm? We keep talking about um my special and
Speaker 1: how we're not going to shoot a lot of audience
Speaker 1: because they're probably gonna masked and we wanted to like
Speaker 1: stand the test of time. And I'm like, well, then
Speaker 1: we should probably show them in masks because that's going
Speaker 1: to be the way the world is potentially. I don't
Speaker 1: think master are to go away, well, I think, but
Speaker 1: what do I I literally don't know anything. Well from
Speaker 1: all my research, I love that like, yeah, I read
Speaker 1: I saw a line somewhere. Yeah, and uh I clicked
Speaker 1: on it once. I didn't even look at it, but
Speaker 1: like I think I know about it. Yeah, Like I
Speaker 1: feel pretty deep about my um like my science. You
Speaker 1: do know a lot about like that. You were like
Speaker 1: kind of educating me on some COVID stuff because I
Speaker 1: really tapped out well apparently apparently apparently it's gonna be
Speaker 1: kind of treated as like we're not stopping it, We're
Speaker 1: not going to completely get rid of it, but it's
Speaker 1: going to be like a common cold, terrible cold, but
Speaker 1: if you have the vaccine, it is like a very
Speaker 1: bad cold. And so that's eventually where we're going to
Speaker 1: get to it. Yeah, okay, well, I mean, isn't that
Speaker 1: where we're at kind of but I mean people are
Speaker 1: still dying. I mean, it's just so interesting. I can't
Speaker 1: I can't get away from the fact that, like when
Speaker 1: performers used to perform with the flu, they were like
Speaker 1: applauded for it, Like can you believe Taylor Swift had
Speaker 1: the flu? Like Kirsen even saw Taylor at the Reputation
Speaker 1: tour and she was like, I just want to be
Speaker 1: honest with you, guys. I'm not feeling great. I feel
Speaker 1: like I have I'm coming down with something and everyone's like, yes, girls,
Speaker 1: she did it, And it's like, now that would be like,
Speaker 1: why wouldn't you protect us from that, Taylor? And I
Speaker 1: mean I would be like, Taylor spit in my mouth.
Speaker 1: I would love to get your COVID. I won't be
Speaker 1: able to smell the fragrance that I get. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: finally reveal it. I think in history though, I mean
Speaker 1: World War One, World War two, like people were born.
Speaker 1: Like in World War One, like thirty million people got killed,
Speaker 1: like and then just you know, twenty years later or whatever,
Speaker 1: another twenty million About the first Prince. I didn't know
Speaker 1: about the pandemic of nineteen whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I thought you were like eighteen hundred. I'm
Speaker 1: like no. But my point is is that there were
Speaker 1: probably people in that time saying, we're never going to
Speaker 1: get out of this. We're never gonna Yeah, so this
Speaker 1: will probably get forgotten and then something bad will happen.
Speaker 1: Don't get forgotten because the world is on its way out, y'all,
Speaker 1: Like humanity is on its way up. The Earth will
Speaker 1: still be around. I mean, how many years do you
Speaker 1: think we got left here? I think, uh fifty to
Speaker 1: a D for humanity truly. I mean, the climate change
Speaker 1: is getting so scary. I've accepted it a lot, like
Speaker 1: I have to accept anything else. I can't change it. Um.
Speaker 1: But oh, I know what I was talking about. This
Speaker 1: woman was saying that for her to have a baby,
Speaker 1: um the amount of carbon emissions that you consume being
Speaker 1: a human. Like when you bring a person into this planet,
Speaker 1: you you when you have a baby, you're putting the
Speaker 1: planet like you're you're taxing its resources, like you're that's
Speaker 1: just what you're doing. And she said, even being a
Speaker 1: vegetarian for twenty five years, that will be counteracted all
Speaker 1: the good I did by not consuming livestock that put
Speaker 1: you know, whatever, my carbon footprint from my baby in
Speaker 1: one year, my baby being alive for one year will
Speaker 1: undo all the good I did in twenty years of
Speaker 1: being a vegetarian. And it's just in just what I
Speaker 1: was saying was, oh, I know where it connects is
Speaker 1: that every single person consumes so much trash and like
Speaker 1: puts so much waste into the world and like puts
Speaker 1: their DNA all over it that like you know, for me,
Speaker 1: if I found a fork that Taylor Swift used at
Speaker 1: a restaurant, I would be like, oh my god, she
Speaker 1: touched this fork, But like she touches thousands of things
Speaker 1: every day like she it's every things are everywhere that
Speaker 1: celebrities have touched. Like I guess what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: like it's not that John Lennon probably smoked like a
Speaker 1: hundred thousand cigarettes in his lifetime, and so it sounds
Speaker 1: pretty cool that my aunt has one. But it's actually
Speaker 1: one of the most common things of John Lennon's ever
Speaker 1: was would there be anything of any celebrities that you
Speaker 1: would keep? If it was like something either you couldn't wear,
Speaker 1: not something you can use, it would just be a keepsake.
Speaker 1: Do you have any keep things that you keep that
Speaker 1: aren't on display? Are just like it's cool that I
Speaker 1: have this. Yeah, Like my mom we went to a
Speaker 1: black Hawks hockey game when I was a kid and
Speaker 1: my we were sitting by the bench and my mother
Speaker 1: goes my son's We didn't even like hockey at the time. Really,
Speaker 1: I like how you just called her your mother, Yes,
Speaker 1: my dear mother, my mother or mother gene like you.
Speaker 1: The more like you like get nostalgic about your mom,
Speaker 1: it turns into your mother. Like you were never like mother.
Speaker 1: I want to go to the hockey game. That feels
Speaker 1: very psycho ish. If you call mother, if you call
Speaker 1: your mom mother, I'm so sorry about your childhood. Mama,
Speaker 1: my mama. She took us to the hockey game, and uh,
Speaker 1: we want to do that segment. So no, so she
Speaker 1: took his dog game. She goes, hey, my sons are
Speaker 1: in the hockey. They gave us two broken sticks by
Speaker 1: Chris Chelios and Steve Larmer, And if you know anything
Speaker 1: about these are like big deal sticks. And they gave
Speaker 1: us three hockey pops, so that was like a cool
Speaker 1: I don't know where they are. We literally were playing
Speaker 1: with the sticks in the front yard that week, like
Speaker 1: we got home and we were using so that they
Speaker 1: got even more damage. The DNA was wiped off like
Speaker 1: most kids would put that, like if you like how
Speaker 1: you would frame that ship. Yeah, but you used it,
Speaker 1: but I think you should use it in a way.
Speaker 1: I agree. I don't. I don't think that. You know,
Speaker 1: everything has to go someday, you're not going to be
Speaker 1: able to take anything with you to the afterlife. So
Speaker 1: like these this idea of even money, like when people
Speaker 1: just save money and you're like, you're eighty starts, but
Speaker 1: you have millions of dollars. You couldn't spend all of
Speaker 1: this money if you wanted to like live a little
Speaker 1: stuff being so frugal, you're gonna or give it to
Speaker 1: your kids. Now, dad, don't wait, don't wait till the end,
Speaker 1: you do if you bother a windfall of money, right, Like,
Speaker 1: what would be the first thing you bought? And I
Speaker 1: know you're like, oh good owd of this apartment and
Speaker 1: my own place a good away from you know, I
Speaker 1: could eat that without that. I'm trying the markets. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't even buy. I don't even want to buy anything.
Speaker 1: I just like having the freedom I get more. I'd
Speaker 1: get fancier sushi rolls, like I really don't like, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe you don't give me a little
Speaker 1: bit more yourself with sushi rolls because you don't have
Speaker 1: the money for him, Like you really look at a
Speaker 1: thing and you go no. I mean that was kind
Speaker 1: of sarcastic, but like I but I'm actually being serious. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'm I know. I'm thinking, like I I really have
Speaker 1: everything I kind of want, Like I think it might
Speaker 1: What if I forced you to spend a hundred thousand
Speaker 1: dollars today, what would you buy? Like you have to
Speaker 1: spend it today? No, you too. You have a hundred
Speaker 1: thou dollars. You've got to spend it today, and you
Speaker 1: have to spend it on something for yourself. You can't donate.
Speaker 1: It would be tough. I'd get I'd probably get some
Speaker 1: new clubs again, but that's when you like and then
Speaker 1: a tesla. I think that'd be fun. Okay, like the
Speaker 1: two door just a fucking badass. Okay, easy answer for me,
Speaker 1: because I keep wishing that i'd have a hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: I would just do everything that the house that I
Speaker 1: live in needs, Like i'd hire a handyman and just
Speaker 1: say go to town on this house here. Okay, you
Speaker 1: you don't nothing specific though, Like is there anything you
Speaker 1: would like tell him, like start here because you only
Speaker 1: have a day to get all this done. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. Just like fill in the cracks,
Speaker 1: fill in the crack. What would you do? Give the charity?
Speaker 1: I can't do that, but I probably would, but no
Speaker 1: charity straight in my rule, you can't. I would Oh god, Um,
Speaker 1: you can't give it to anyone else. Um, you have
Speaker 1: to buy something for myself. Yeah, it's so hard. I
Speaker 1: don't want anything. I would probably buy a super nice
Speaker 1: car just to be like, okay, boom, that's done with,
Speaker 1: Like I just need that tells me what kind of
Speaker 1: car I'm supposed to get. I need to spend it all,
Speaker 1: So I'll just I mean, what car is a hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars? Yeah? I know what else is expensive other
Speaker 1: than a car? I mean, I guess by a put
Speaker 1: down a down payment on a house, but then you
Speaker 1: gotta pay for that mortgage, and then you got to
Speaker 1: keep up the up deep and then you gotta pay
Speaker 1: for the m O or whatever. Maybe I get like
Speaker 1: a you know what I get. I get a I
Speaker 1: get a bird, and then I would get someone to
Speaker 1: take care of that bird for like a year, like
Speaker 1: by myself, like a bird sitter that could come over
Speaker 1: when like is on call. So that would cover the
Speaker 1: salary of someone who would be on call to birds
Speaker 1: sit and hang out with my bird whenever I wanted.
Speaker 1: What if I got a grill like as like to
Speaker 1: cook out no mouth grill like diamond and crusted. I
Speaker 1: think that actually is so your style. Let's get Kursten
Speaker 1: in here and see what she says. I bet she
Speaker 1: would buy as a kettle bell, but like a golden yeah, Kirsten, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I wonder what she would buy kurston Um pick up
Speaker 1: that mike and then put on those headphones and let's
Speaker 1: get to business bitch puts on headphones like you, it
Speaker 1: couldn't take you longer. I love when Kursten goes slow
Speaker 1: around you. Well, I mean we you do because you've
Speaker 1: got to get out of here. I don't go slow. No,
Speaker 1: You're just a You're just a delicate person. I'm not
Speaker 1: getting mad about it. I just am saying I'm commenting
Speaker 1: that I'm a fast like. No, I know, that's what
Speaker 1: I know. It's just you always faster than me. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, I've always been like do you
Speaker 1: remember it? Welcome to Show. Kursten my best friend since
Speaker 1: fourth grade? Um, and she was on the show last week.
Speaker 1: She's back again. And you don't remember Nikki being like,
Speaker 1: hey grabbed my book bag for school and her being
Speaker 1: very quick? What I mean, come on, you can just
Speaker 1: tell you do I remember? More like I remember in
Speaker 1: high school, you'd be like third period, I was just
Speaker 1: like zip things fast and like books were just like
Speaker 1: we had. Didn't we share a locker? Yes, don't even
Speaker 1: act like you don't remember. Usually don't you petition the
Speaker 1: school to change lockers because you were so disgusted by me?
Speaker 1: You did? You were like I remember you like talking
Speaker 1: to our other friends being like, I can't take Nikki's
Speaker 1: messiness anymore. She's just like so out of control and
Speaker 1: like in your year we shared a locker. See she's
Speaker 1: acting like she didn't remember exactly time out. Why are
Speaker 1: you sharing a lot because there there was a limited
Speaker 1: amount and we like love sharing things. Yesterday we went
Speaker 1: to a spa and we were like, can we go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom? And they were like, there's one over there,
Speaker 1: and then there's one and we went in the same
Speaker 1: one and they go, you don't need to do that.
Speaker 1: We like, but we like spending time together where to
Speaker 1: like grown women just going in the same So did
Speaker 1: you have to get your own lot? Like what was
Speaker 1: the messiness? Like loose papers? I imagined there was like
Speaker 1: loose papers, maybe like old band aids, right, I mean
Speaker 1: it was just loose yeah, hair brushes, gym clothes. No.
Speaker 1: When I would open my locker in high school, everything
Speaker 1: would fall out every time. Then I push it back
Speaker 1: in and then it would fall out, and then yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just really I was going through a lot,
Speaker 1: like unmedicated, and you couldn't pay attention to it, thank you.
Speaker 1: I never had school supplies reading. It wasn't because my
Speaker 1: parents didn't buy me things. My car was fun. I
Speaker 1: opened up the trunk and like, uh, you know, how
Speaker 1: embarrassed do people get? Sometimes sometimes we have an uber
Speaker 1: driver that's just like that that is a d D
Speaker 1: and has a messy car, and they shove all the
Speaker 1: mess in their trunk. But then we have luggage and
Speaker 1: they I always commiserate so much with someone who's trunk
Speaker 1: gets open before they wanted to be open, and we'll
Speaker 1: be back there and they scrambled out of their car
Speaker 1: like do the one way. And it's like because when
Speaker 1: you open the trunk, it's like a looking inside their brain.
Speaker 1: Things aren't remember in high school closing my like not
Speaker 1: fully open because I had like an SUV so you
Speaker 1: could see everything. You know, well, I showed kursed in
Speaker 1: my back closet yesterday. I let her in. You've seen
Speaker 1: this thing. It looks like order. And I don't judge
Speaker 1: anything because whenever I'm in your room, it's because I
Speaker 1: have to like get in there, and I know that
Speaker 1: you didn't give me permission. So I walk in and
Speaker 1: I go like it's a judgment. I don't even remember.
Speaker 1: I almost like men in black blankie thing myself. After
Speaker 1: I leave because I'm like, I can't use this again
Speaker 1: against him in the court of podcast because he didn't
Speaker 1: permit me to be in there. I was, you invited
Speaker 1: me in, but I was, literally, I gotta fix it up.
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta do something. I mean, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of my stuff in there, but it is it's
Speaker 1: what is the back closet. It's like our storage space
Speaker 1: in addition to the sports space we have downstairs in
Speaker 1: the garage. But it's like a room where he just
Speaker 1: throws everything that he doesn't want to deal with. Like
Speaker 1: it's like the junk drawer of closets. But it's a
Speaker 1: giant room. No, it's like a walk in closet space. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I could really utilize that room a lot. It could
Speaker 1: be a yoga studio. I mean it's like so big
Speaker 1: it's stuff. Yeah. Person wanted to do that to our
Speaker 1: locker too, and I was like, there's not enough space. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we almost opened a spa in our locker that years
Speaker 1: in question. I give you a hundred thousand dollars and
Speaker 1: you have to spend it today and it can't be
Speaker 1: on anyone but yourself. What are you gonna buy? Oh?
Speaker 1: I would buy a like I would buy several reformers. Oh,
Speaker 1: we're gonna put like a Pilates dungeon, like a layer.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would get I would get but
Speaker 1: where and you do you have a place so smart
Speaker 1: buying like a like a little shed or like a hut,
Speaker 1: or like a little space I could go to like
Speaker 1: a hang out space and you would you train out
Speaker 1: of there and start a business. No, it's interesting because
Speaker 1: none of us thought about starting a business with this underground,
Speaker 1: were like, how can we get rid of it? Start
Speaker 1: a business? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I mean like I maybe
Speaker 1: I'm gonna drive Upert with my new Tesla. You don't know,
Speaker 1: that could be a little business something not with that
Speaker 1: dirty trunk. Don't Um, that's a great answer. Wait what
Speaker 1: would you I mean? Um? I I said, I buy
Speaker 1: just I would want to get rid of it. Well,
Speaker 1: I would try to. I would probably donate it get
Speaker 1: a reform but I would I would get a Transformer.
Speaker 1: I would get a m Yeah, I would get a Transformer.
Speaker 1: I would get a Tesla or some kind of like
Speaker 1: really expensive car that could just get rid of it
Speaker 1: in one No. No, I said, I'd get a bird,
Speaker 1: and this put a bird sitter on salary that would
Speaker 1: always be at my beck and call cuck birder. Yeah,
Speaker 1: last night we had so much fun hanging out. Kirsten
Speaker 1: and I were talking about like she came to stay
Speaker 1: last week for like five days, and then this week
Speaker 1: she's here for two days. And like we were talking
Speaker 1: yesterday of like she as a husband in a house
Speaker 1: and a life in Kansas City, but like there's a
Speaker 1: part of her that said, it would be nice to
Speaker 1: just have two lives where it's like one life is
Speaker 1: like I live with my best friend because we like
Speaker 1: just we are. I love living with friends. I like
Speaker 1: could I mean we probably it would be nicer if
Speaker 1: you had your own room, because it would just probably
Speaker 1: end up being annoying for both of us. But like
Speaker 1: I love living with you, like I love living with Andrew.
Speaker 1: And it's just sad to me that when you get married,
Speaker 1: you just can't. And we're talking about friendship and like
Speaker 1: you said that the only friends that you hang out
Speaker 1: with are ones that either your sister or like girls
Speaker 1: that aren't married. Well, like on a casual basis, its
Speaker 1: totally different, Like hey, what are you doing Wednesday? Let's
Speaker 1: go like just walk I know but like, let's do
Speaker 1: girls night. Everyone's gonna get a centner, We're gonna all
Speaker 1: get dressed up. It's like it's nice to have casual friends.
Speaker 1: You can just last night we stayed up talking to eleven.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that was so fun. When I thought
Speaker 1: it was going to end, and well, I thought, you
Speaker 1: kept You're always the one that's like, guys, I just
Speaker 1: don't think I have to. I can't do this. You
Speaker 1: gave me. You were like that that you were watching
Speaker 1: Love on the Spectrum and then we were just talking.
Speaker 1: We were playing, we were stretching, we were rubbing each
Speaker 1: other's and it was just like I went to bed
Speaker 1: being like that is my ideal life, Like I want
Speaker 1: to live with friends. That's why I want Ideally I
Speaker 1: would live in this sort of not commune, but like
Speaker 1: I would want um houses like around each other, not
Speaker 1: even on a block, but maybe a subdivision where we
Speaker 1: all get along with each other and have each other's
Speaker 1: like partners and stuff, and then we funk each other.
Speaker 1: We all like I can stop buying like mass suicide
Speaker 1: like David koresh Yeah, and then eventually we get bunk
Speaker 1: beds and we um. Yeah. I thought about it when
Speaker 1: I was going to bed last night, I was like,
Speaker 1: if I lived alone, like I really needed people to
Speaker 1: talk to yesterday, and like we talked a lot, and
Speaker 1: it just felt like, oh, I would have just slept
Speaker 1: on that and that would have ate me up, and
Speaker 1: then in the morning, I'm anger. Would have went somewhere,
Speaker 1: probably towards the Starbucks person or like towards something. Traffic
Speaker 1: on the way the doctor. Yeah, traffic on the doctor. Oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, I'm dying. I forgot to tell you.
Speaker 1: I know, I wanted to talk about what your diagnosis was.
Speaker 1: But you're right, Like, if you're out there and you're
Speaker 1: a really lonely person and you live alone, and like
Speaker 1: just open your mind too, even if you're like in
Speaker 1: your late eight like your middle aged or even older,
Speaker 1: open your mind to having roommates or like finding another
Speaker 1: lonely person and living with them, because it's not the
Speaker 1: same as like being with a husband. You you can
Speaker 1: have good boundaries. You don't always have to hang out
Speaker 1: with each other, but there's someone there when you need it.
Speaker 1: That's why I love retirement homes are just wait to
Speaker 1: just play canast or whatever the funk you do. Like
Speaker 1: with with women, and just like cackle and like be
Speaker 1: gossipy little. It's like high school again. It's in college door.
Speaker 1: The new wave though, No, you don't have to wait
Speaker 1: too long. The new wave of these communes start across
Speaker 1: from our house. They're building one. It's called Active Adults.
Speaker 1: It's fifty five and up. So you're getting in their
Speaker 1: more close brought I'll be able to move in with
Speaker 1: him there if she yeah, you can get her as
Speaker 1: a special needs pet. Um. Wait a second, No, what
Speaker 1: what do you feel like? I feel that way. I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not shaming marriage because it's great, but it
Speaker 1: is interesting that the only kind of socially acceptable way
Speaker 1: to live with someone is either a retirement home situation,
Speaker 1: college dorms college like roommates, but after adulthood the only
Speaker 1: kind of acceptable one. And I understand that having roommates
Speaker 1: is acceptable, but like the one that's like, oh, of
Speaker 1: course you're going to do that is marriage and why
Speaker 1: does it have to be Well, there's also the connotation
Speaker 1: of like your failure if you're living with someone else
Speaker 1: past thirty. Yeah, if you say I have a roommate,
Speaker 1: there's just like, wait, no, what do you think about
Speaker 1: all this? You guys like you just need to break
Speaker 1: the chains of like what other people think in regards
Speaker 1: to your living situation. Um, but I'm more people to
Speaker 1: feel this way too, and I feel like I can
Speaker 1: make the change, but other people are very like chained up. Yeah. Look,
Speaker 1: I liked living with a roommate up until a certain point.
Speaker 1: I like living with my fiance. Um, we have very
Speaker 1: good boundaries. And we also you know, like he'll he'll
Speaker 1: travel and leave me and then I'll be like living
Speaker 1: alone or I'll have a friend over and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: It just depends what you work out with your partner. Um. Indeed,
Speaker 1: space I love that. Um Ariana Grande has a song
Speaker 1: called Nasa and she's like, uh, in a world, um
Speaker 1: A need space, um A need space. And it's like
Speaker 1: like n A s A like she needs space, like
Speaker 1: Nasa needs space. And it's about like, um, you can
Speaker 1: miss me on the phone tonight. We don't have to
Speaker 1: see each other. And she's talking about like when you
Speaker 1: get in a relationship all of a sudden, it's just
Speaker 1: like you're never apart. My parents were apart because my
Speaker 1: dad got COVID and he had to go out to
Speaker 1: their cabin and they were apart for like a week
Speaker 1: and a half and they both like missed each other
Speaker 1: in a healthy way. But nothing would ever get them
Speaker 1: apart like that unless it was COVID. And it's like,
Speaker 1: why why can't we take breaks from each other without
Speaker 1: it being like what we do? We go on girls
Speaker 1: trips and come I don't think most people do. I
Speaker 1: think most people I just know like or like it
Speaker 1: has to be like a bachelor party and then every
Speaker 1: guy's like they're all like pent up, and yeah, they're like,
Speaker 1: I need dispatch your party. I gotta get away from
Speaker 1: my wife and get like maybe like once every three months.
Speaker 1: It's completely acceptable to take a week away from each other.
Speaker 1: Let's not even think about It's not because our relationship
Speaker 1: is bad. It's just mean. Andrew's girlfriend is in Chicago
Speaker 1: and Kirsten, do you feel like when you go back
Speaker 1: home to your husband, there is that like you know
Speaker 1: that that extra fire burning totally whenever we have time
Speaker 1: away makes that even more ignited. But it makes me
Speaker 1: sad that when people but I miss I miss like
Speaker 1: being like like when I leave here, I think you
Speaker 1: missed me, Yeah I did, I left I think you unexpectedly,
Speaker 1: like I don't, but I do think that you You
Speaker 1: made some comment to me like I was telling Corey
Speaker 1: like I felt alive there or something. And it's like,
Speaker 1: I think not a lot of women get I think
Speaker 1: a lot of men, And maybe I'm just doing this
Speaker 1: from what I observe of, Like my if my mom
Speaker 1: goes on a girl's trip, my dad's like, well I
Speaker 1: want to go to a a trip. Like it always has
Speaker 1: to be even, you know, like there's never like I
Speaker 1: think in a lot of relationships, it has to be like, well,
Speaker 1: if you do this, I'm going to do this, and
Speaker 1: it's and then if we both can't do it, then
Speaker 1: neither of us do it. And it's like just allow
Speaker 1: people in your life to have space from you and
Speaker 1: know that that's like a loving thing they're doing for you,
Speaker 1: and not like they want to get away from you,
Speaker 1: like I think people take it so personally and then
Speaker 1: people feel trapped. There'd be a different word in space.
Speaker 1: I feel like space when someone says, hey, I need space,
Speaker 1: that's like, oh, that's a precursor too, I'm gonna want
Speaker 1: to separate, you know what I mean. Like in the
Speaker 1: h in the lack of con we think like, oh,
Speaker 1: space oh you want space, that's net. Oh you don't
Speaker 1: like me anymore, you don't want to be um, I
Speaker 1: need a girl's trip. Well then it's like, oh, so
Speaker 1: you're gonna go out with your slut friends and and
Speaker 1: suck dick. I know your friend Bridget, she's a fucking
Speaker 1: whore and she's gonna want to go to bars and
Speaker 1: get drunk. I know what you do with her. In
Speaker 1: which case, if you have a guy that talks to
Speaker 1: you like that or talks about your friends like that,
Speaker 1: get rid of them. But like, I do know that
Speaker 1: there are a lot of husbands that get jealous about
Speaker 1: girls trips, and there's a lot of wives that get
Speaker 1: jealous about guy's trips. And don't even get me started
Speaker 1: on a guy wanting to go hang out with girls.
Speaker 1: I mean that's another. Like girl friends, the idea of
Speaker 1: having same or opposite sex friends is completely fraught, and
Speaker 1: I I'm guilty of it too, of of being like
Speaker 1: my boyfriend shouldn't have like, shouldn't love his girl friends
Speaker 1: as much as like that. He says, I love you
Speaker 1: two girls, straight girls that are single and pretty. I
Speaker 1: don't like that, Like there's the only thing that makes
Speaker 1: me jealous about that is that she has a vagina.
Speaker 1: There's nothing like if she if it was a boy,
Speaker 1: I would go, oh, it's so sweet. He says, I
Speaker 1: love you too, Ron, you know, like yesterday. But instead
Speaker 1: it's like, why does he love her? Why does he
Speaker 1: have to say I love her? It's like, what because
Speaker 1: she has a vagina? You're get mad? He don't you
Speaker 1: trust him? Not to You gotta trust your partner, hopefully
Speaker 1: that if they want to be with someone else, they
Speaker 1: would be so trust that if they're with you. I
Speaker 1: remember my ex boyfriend said that to me once when
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know, I haven't heard from
Speaker 1: you in like twenty four hours, and like, I feel
Speaker 1: like you should just text me at least like once
Speaker 1: a day. We were like easing back into getting together,
Speaker 1: and he goes, if I don't want to be with you,
Speaker 1: if I don't want to be your boyfriend, I'll let
Speaker 1: you know. Like because he could sense that, I was
Speaker 1: just like, you don't want to be with me, You're
Speaker 1: just doing it to be nice or like, and he
Speaker 1: was just like, I'll you'll know. It's not going to
Speaker 1: be like a guessing game of like does he like
Speaker 1: me or not like trust me. And it just like
Speaker 1: took that. It took the edge off so much because
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, yeah, do I think he's
Speaker 1: like I'm tricking him into being with me? And the
Speaker 1: answer was kind of yes. And as soon as I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, he would leave me in a heartbeat
Speaker 1: if he wanted to, I could relax. If that someone
Speaker 1: loves a friend, if you're not getting the same the
Speaker 1: same or or or more for that matter, it shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel as like like, well, yeah, I get that. That's
Speaker 1: a different story if you're not getting the love. But
Speaker 1: if they're if they're just giving love to everybody, sure, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: If they're I'm saying, like, they give you enough love,
Speaker 1: but you're getting threatened by the fact that there they
Speaker 1: love a friend. And and and if you if you're
Speaker 1: jealous of like your husband's girlfriend or your wife's boyfriend,
Speaker 1: and if you switch their gender, and you go, what
Speaker 1: I have a problem with that, And the answer is no,
Speaker 1: then you've got a problem because the only reason is
Speaker 1: because of gender. If it's because they like them, I
Speaker 1: mean I would get tealose of a guy if my
Speaker 1: boyfriend didn't love me and was talking I love you too,
Speaker 1: a guy friend, I would even get tellus of that,
Speaker 1: you know, not in a sexual way, but just so
Speaker 1: I think it's like whenever I also say that to
Speaker 1: girlfriends who have like guys that they bring around. One time,
Speaker 1: I remember at the seller um, one of our friends
Speaker 1: brought around some like really idiot, like some just dumb guy,
Speaker 1: and I go, next time you bring someone around the table,
Speaker 1: if it's a guy, why don't we run that through
Speaker 1: the same litmus tests that we would bring a girl
Speaker 1: into this table. Because I'm very much more discerning about
Speaker 1: girls I bring into my groups, my my hangs than
Speaker 1: I am with guys. Like guys were just like she's saying,
Speaker 1: this new guy and he kind of sucks, but like,
Speaker 1: let's let him in, let him ruin the whole knife
Speaker 1: for all of us. Change the gender of the guy
Speaker 1: and made it a girl. Would you want to hang
Speaker 1: out with that girl with your girlfriends? And if the
Speaker 1: answer is no, then later onto the news apparently, oh man,
Speaker 1: it's Wednesday. You know what that means. It is Wednesday.
Speaker 1: It's Wednesday. Definitely Wednesday, Yes it is. I hope you're
Speaker 1: having all the swells out there having a great week. Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: Are we in fall yet? Are we done? Really? Huh?
Speaker 1: Fall fall begins the September, so yes, we are definitely
Speaker 1: so we're falling? All right? Well this first story, I
Speaker 1: think we all remember this, but biseet bracelets are making
Speaker 1: a strong comeback. How do we feel about this? There
Speaker 1: was like cuffs, there was one with a snake. I remember,
Speaker 1: like a barbed water around your No, no, that's a tattoo.
Speaker 1: But like a bracelet, like girl would wear like gold
Speaker 1: bracelets around. That was like maybe early two tho we
Speaker 1: go again. You know, low waist, low rise jeans. Early
Speaker 1: two thousands is coming back again? What is going? Why
Speaker 1: do we keep eating things so much? You can do
Speaker 1: that's the case. And let's be honest, a lot of
Speaker 1: too in um you know, bell bottoms and like late
Speaker 1: nineties that was a repeat of the seventies and so
Speaker 1: like it's there's what, oh, yeah, that's back. So like
Speaker 1: nineties just had a renaissance. Yeah, come back stronger than
Speaker 1: a nineties trend um. But then now it's two thousand's
Speaker 1: we're getting into like I think it's on a thirty
Speaker 1: year site. Would you rock a bicep bracelet? It's it's
Speaker 1: a strong name, like any kind of ex if I
Speaker 1: liked it, if I thought it was cute, yeah, I
Speaker 1: would do it. That area fluctuates too much with me,
Speaker 1: Like it will be like one size one day and
Speaker 1: then the next day it's like your jack you have
Speaker 1: like muscles. But then even if like women know, like
Speaker 1: your biceps like fluctuate based off your cycle and like
Speaker 1: what you yes, like they could be like real one
Speaker 1: day and then one day they could be like like
Speaker 1: that's like elastic then like a slap bracelet. Yeah, feel
Speaker 1: like like those are nineties and they're not in anymore.
Speaker 1: Kids were dying from this. That was weird from slap Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why they stopped making them. They were cutting their
Speaker 1: risks be met. Oh my god, that'd be so crazy
Speaker 1: if like you were like my son committed suicide out
Speaker 1: of nowhere. He did it with a slab bracelet. No, mom,
Speaker 1: it was an accident. Please don't put that. Oh wait,
Speaker 1: curson's putting. Uh this is like turning. That's a um hair.
Speaker 1: You have too much skin in your upper arm to
Speaker 1: make it. No, not you, I'm saying people, And oh
Speaker 1: how dare you sacious? Skin? No? No skin, no skin.
Speaker 1: I like it. I like jokers. I like um, I
Speaker 1: like like girly like accessories. I used to not want
Speaker 1: to stand out or take many fashion statements back when
Speaker 1: these kind of things were going on, I wanted to
Speaker 1: kind of disappear. And so now I like really like
Speaker 1: my body and I don't mind fun accessories and people
Speaker 1: going oh what does that? What does that say? Or like,
Speaker 1: oh I like your I like kind of like having
Speaker 1: conversations about fashion. I used to think it was like
Speaker 1: and you get attention, it's like, yeah, I am trying
Speaker 1: to make some friends. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, anklets,
Speaker 1: let's bring those back. Remember the ones that had little
Speaker 1: bells on him that would go like those are I
Speaker 1: kind of like those two anklets were so toe rings.
Speaker 1: I remember your sister and Becky Eaton had toe rings.
Speaker 1: They of course they kind of feel weird to a
Speaker 1: to ring on. I don't know why. Extra yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't want stretching out her lobes. Doesn't like anything
Speaker 1: other than studs in her ears, because it stretches them
Speaker 1: out and makes them like oh and they start like sagging.
Speaker 1: You know old ladies lobes where it's just hanging on
Speaker 1: by that little thread, like heavier, all the good earrings,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, these are cute, put them on. It's
Speaker 1: like it's just there, like kettlebells on your ears. How
Speaker 1: do you feel about guys with rings? I mean, are
Speaker 1: we I get it? Like that? Do joke I've been doing.
Speaker 1: It's been killing about that? Oh yeah, what was it again?
Speaker 1: It was when you look at a gut. Sometimes you
Speaker 1: look at a guy's hand to see if he's wearing
Speaker 1: a ring, and sometimes his hand is moving kind of
Speaker 1: fast because he's playing guitar, jerking off or whatever, and
Speaker 1: so you can't tell which finger it's on, and you're
Speaker 1: like wasting it on his ring finger. And it's like, actually,
Speaker 1: I hope it is. I'd rather this guy be married
Speaker 1: than just a guy that wears a ring, So look
Speaker 1: for that in my next busial. But what are you
Speaker 1: married to? If you're wearing four rings? I feel if
Speaker 1: I could do my whole special, but I just quoted
Speaker 1: like piecing together. Oh I have a joke about that
Speaker 1: on this and then it would just be all my special,
Speaker 1: Like I could just do it that way. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a mismatch. Just each podcast clip of me,
Speaker 1: Like I have a joke about this blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: You know, someone please document them because I'm not keeping
Speaker 1: sure your neckflix. Like when you talk about guys wearing necklaces, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's a fun one. That was his grandfather's true things.
Speaker 1: I don't mind guys wearing jewelry. Now, I don't mind
Speaker 1: a ring. Okay, how about this. You go to have
Speaker 1: sex with a guy, would you want him to take
Speaker 1: his rings off before having sex? No? I always when
Speaker 1: I was with someone who had rings, I was like,
Speaker 1: leave them on, let's get let's make those fingers even chunkier,
Speaker 1: lick it off the ring, Like I know, I would
Speaker 1: really stay on and I would want to be like,
Speaker 1: I'll get it off, Like I'm kind of gross. But
Speaker 1: you don't want to ring inside. You know it's not
Speaker 1: gonna come off and added to the bunch. It's a
Speaker 1: lost and found. Yeah, I sound like a jewelry box
Speaker 1: when I'm on a treadmill. Um. Yeah, it's a rock
Speaker 1: tumbler in my us. Yeah. No, I don't mind a ring,
Speaker 1: and I don't mind them leaving it on because I
Speaker 1: just like, I think it's kind of like I think
Speaker 1: it's you know, I think things are funny and like
Speaker 1: doing things with like calm is funny or like your
Speaker 1: own like I like licking guys fingers after do you
Speaker 1: ever do that? I don't. You don't have to answer,
Speaker 1: like it's just like you deal with like dirty rings
Speaker 1: like your locker night school. And she's like, yeah, I don't,
Speaker 1: like I don't want to those rings in our locker. No,
Speaker 1: And I'm making a long time I was crude in
Speaker 1: high Schoolgan Megan Trainer, Oh, I know about this. They
Speaker 1: have toilets next to each other. Yeah, it's a lot,
Speaker 1: I think her husband. Yeah, her and her husband have
Speaker 1: toilets next to each other. Which was an SNL like
Speaker 1: big commercial. Yeah, I mean so she wanted they were
Speaker 1: having kids. They had kids, so they don't have a
Speaker 1: lot of time. They pee next to each other a lot.
Speaker 1: They only pooped next to each other twice. Wait thirty seconds,
Speaker 1: like what we there's something about that and then we
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom together. That's true, Well, but you're
Speaker 1: you're in there. I sometimes do like I'm talking to
Speaker 1: someone I'm hooking up with and I go pee, and
Speaker 1: like he just doesn't want any part of seeing that
Speaker 1: or hearing that. And I'm sometimes like, I just want
Speaker 1: to keep the story going well, Pete like, I don't
Speaker 1: mind the sense. I don't mind. I think maybe guys
Speaker 1: associate sitting down with taking a poop, so then maybe
Speaker 1: a message with their head. No, I don't. I think
Speaker 1: that's a weird thing to do. But you know what,
Speaker 1: great that she's in a relationship with someone who feels
Speaker 1: this has the same kind of boundaries as she does
Speaker 1: when it comes to that. Like, I kind of like
Speaker 1: couples that just agree like, yeah, farting in front of
Speaker 1: each other does not make us less attracted, whereas some
Speaker 1: people are like, God, I would love to fart in
Speaker 1: front of my boyfriend or girlfriend, and then the other
Speaker 1: person is like, don't do that, and so you have
Speaker 1: to like hold in your farts all the time. I mean,
Speaker 1: I know some that are like, from my own perspective
Speaker 1: or anything, I don't have personal experience with holding in
Speaker 1: my farts till it burns and I have to walk
Speaker 1: outside and pretend I'm walking the dog that we don't have. Wait,
Speaker 1: do you think that there should be some thing's left
Speaker 1: off like them? Yes, but that's to each their own.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying everyone is different boundaries and they seem
Speaker 1: to have like coincide with the same ones. What what
Speaker 1: you and Brenn are now fart in front of each there? Yeah,
Speaker 1: well I fared many more times in front. She's done
Speaker 1: it once, so one for every seventy five of mine.
Speaker 1: But I thought it was adorable. I really did, like
Speaker 1: I thought it would in the past, and maybe I
Speaker 1: would think it would turn me off, be like what,
Speaker 1: girls don't far, girls never ship. And now it's like,
Speaker 1: let's keep going, let's let's keep this train going. No,
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen next? Maybe fart in front of you?
Speaker 1: And you really were uncomfortable with it for a while,
Speaker 1: and now I just let it go so much that
Speaker 1: it's like I feel like it's now not so much
Speaker 1: like a You used to like giggle so much when
Speaker 1: I would fart, and I'd be like, I'm sorry, I'm farting,
Speaker 1: like that's the thing I do. It's just funny because
Speaker 1: like you see a girl and they're like, you're not dainty,
Speaker 1: but like you you have a girl face, and then
Speaker 1: the hero it's like an opposite, like like it sounds
Speaker 1: like you have the lead singer of Metallica in your asshole,
Speaker 1: and but you look like you know, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's just that I think opposites and like just
Speaker 1: see like they're very low like all farts, you know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Kursten used to like like it, says Charlie pooth Yea.
Speaker 1: Kurston used to be able to suck in air through
Speaker 1: her butt and then blow it out. She was so talented.
Speaker 1: Your legs up up in the air like yeah, kind
Speaker 1: of like almost like child's pose. And then like her,
Speaker 1: she would be on the ground with her like doggie
Speaker 1: style with her. I could like reach, like you can
Speaker 1: still do it, bitch, I know you can. Don't think,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this will be amazing, go like this.
Speaker 1: Yeah that would. I would kind of lock my elbows
Speaker 1: and I'll go. But I honestly I tried to do
Speaker 1: it recently. I can't do it. You have to have
Speaker 1: your pants off to get the air in your butt
Speaker 1: or no, can you get your butt through as we
Speaker 1: all know from wearing masks and move him so I
Speaker 1: can say, oh, yeah, he is so mean to Kurston Lee.
Speaker 1: He's been biting her and like snapping. I love the
Speaker 1: video you took. I took last night if you like.
Speaker 1: I'm like, there was a kid in our high school
Speaker 1: who put his like his talent was sucking in air
Speaker 1: and farting, and he did in front of whole high
Speaker 1: school and we're we're all dying. But like he did
Speaker 1: as a talent. I was like, that's so we're like,
Speaker 1: we're okay with that. Yeah, we called him he looked
Speaker 1: like Beavis from somebody. They call him Beavis, like butthole
Speaker 1: accordion like her Yeah, yeah, yeah, And he would just
Speaker 1: and that was he would do it on stage, and
Speaker 1: he did it on stage. Never Oh you wanted to write?
Speaker 1: Not really, I was too scared. I didn't. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: know what you're part of you that was so like
Speaker 1: jealous of people that could get up there. I'm projecting
Speaker 1: I always know. Yeah, yeah a little bit. But any
Speaker 1: time I was in a play, I'd started shaking and
Speaker 1: I just it wasn't for me. I was too way
Speaker 1: too nervous. How did you get over that? I know
Speaker 1: you got you got the sasquatch to play music with
Speaker 1: you while you deliver jokes, but like, how did you
Speaker 1: conquer being shaky? Because I I don't ever have an
Speaker 1: answer for how I did that either, I don't really
Speaker 1: have an answer other than taking the class. How I
Speaker 1: guess taking a comedy class, although it's not the real
Speaker 1: way to do a pea that. No, they don't, huh.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you're putting that on it. I
Speaker 1: think comedy classes are a great way to break I agree.
Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah. Um, a lot of people say
Speaker 1: that you've got to get out there in a real
Speaker 1: mi You can't just actually, but you can start a
Speaker 1: comedy of course. Yeah, of course. So that's what I did,
Speaker 1: and it got me the training wheels on, I think. Yeah,
Speaker 1: eventually they came on the confidence um yeah, and the
Speaker 1: do you remember the Talent Show? And Kirk what did
Speaker 1: you do? Did you do one? Yeah? Do you you
Speaker 1: don't remember Junior year? Do you play guitar? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Annie Saracino did, and Leslie Lambers and I and Annie
Speaker 1: Sarracino and I think Emily Herster as well play guitar girls. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're saying indigo girls least complicated. I didn't realize. And
Speaker 1: Anna Saracino is now a very open lesbian woman, and um,
Speaker 1: Leslie was kind of like hippier. I mean she she
Speaker 1: is not uh, she's straight, but like it's you know
Speaker 1: her and I, I don't know. We just loved that
Speaker 1: song and I didn't know it was like a very
Speaker 1: I ran because did you just stick it in out
Speaker 1: of uterus and get it lost? Um? I loved that complicated,
Speaker 1: the hardest to learn what Lee scoplacate? How did it go? Oh?
Speaker 1: We fucking crushed it. And I wish there was a
Speaker 1: video of it because my parents were in Paris at
Speaker 1: the time of this. Yeah, maybe the video. I don't
Speaker 1: think they do. But it was so it was so rewarding,
Speaker 1: and even though it was one of the gayest things
Speaker 1: I've ever done, and I was just I don't know
Speaker 1: how people weren't like Nikki just came out like they
Speaker 1: all just but we It was so fucking fun. I
Speaker 1: should play that again and learn it on guitar. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and come back with what
Speaker 1: I care? Why do I care? I have no idea?
Speaker 1: Why do I care? God? She sounds so fun Okay.
Speaker 1: Oprah Winfrey said she only has three closed pals. I
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of friends. Oprah says she only
Speaker 1: has three friends. Funny because everyone claims to be friends
Speaker 1: with Oprah. You know what I mean? Oh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: Gail King, Reese Witherspoon No, Jenniferransten, Ellen Steadman, Um do
Speaker 1: do I may Angela? No? She has three friends with
Speaker 1: Tom Cruise. No. Is it someone I know? Yeah, one
Speaker 1: of them? You know? Can you give me some initials? Ms?
Speaker 1: Oh Stewart No? Um, uh your sort of note. Um,
Speaker 1: don't know what it is. It's it's what's his Arnold
Speaker 1: Swarzenegger's wife. Who is uh? Maria's striver? Yes? Really they're
Speaker 1: friends and Bob Green three years. They've been for years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she met Gayl and Marie around the same time. It's
Speaker 1: been forty two years. Oh my god. I um, I
Speaker 1: really love Oprah. She has a good quote. She goes,
Speaker 1: surround yourself with someone who is as happy for your
Speaker 1: happiness as you are for your happiness. I mean, you
Speaker 1: need friends that are happy in their own lives so
Speaker 1: that they can actually be authentically happy for you. It
Speaker 1: doesn't open need that, because how hard would it be
Speaker 1: to be Oprah's friend if you weren't, if you were
Speaker 1: at all insecure about your own life. I mean, she's
Speaker 1: you're always gonna pale in comparison if you're comparing yourself
Speaker 1: to Oprah. Um. And yeah, so she's obviously friends with
Speaker 1: very secure people. Oh that's cool. I mean, um, I
Speaker 1: like that. I've always loved her and Gail's relationship and
Speaker 1: me and Halla call each other Oprah and Gail Kerson
Speaker 1: loves her job, and I think she is genuine. She
Speaker 1: runs unhappy. Yeah, Curson is such a happy person and
Speaker 1: and like only once the best for me, and uh
Speaker 1: is it? You know? I I have trouble with that,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not the best at if I'm I get jealous.
Speaker 1: I'm getting way better at it. But it's I used
Speaker 1: to get jealous of friends that would get boyfriends when
Speaker 1: I wanted one so bad, or you know, get um,
Speaker 1: you know, in the business, get opportunities that I some
Speaker 1: stuff I didn't even want. But I would just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: now that they have that, they're going to get other
Speaker 1: things that I might want. And it's just like it's
Speaker 1: such an ugly place to be, but you know, I
Speaker 1: try so hard to not. I mean, Kristen, do you
Speaker 1: ever get jealous of people? Yeah? Well, is it? There's
Speaker 1: jealousy and then there's envy. There's a difference, I know
Speaker 1: when we never know the difference. I think envy is
Speaker 1: like you want that thing. Jealousy is you want the thing,
Speaker 1: and envy means you resent them for having a thing
Speaker 1: you want. I think envy has a connotation the bad one, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: well then I didn't do the bad one. I do
Speaker 1: the good one. I do the one. I mean, I
Speaker 1: let it. What do you get jealous of? I try
Speaker 1: to let it motivate me. That's why I don't go
Speaker 1: on Instagram a lot, because like I get kind of
Speaker 1: envious of, like, oh, look at this friend who has
Speaker 1: like these cute kids and looks like everything is perfect
Speaker 1: and they're making cookies on a Thursday morning and I'm
Speaker 1: slving away with But then I think about it, I
Speaker 1: assess it, I feel the feeling, and then I go
Speaker 1: but I don't really want that. Yeah, you were showing
Speaker 1: me something on Instagram yesterday and you're like, look how
Speaker 1: perfect she is, like our perfect little kids and she's
Speaker 1: still in love and she's beautiful. And I was like,
Speaker 1: this sounds posing at like a waterfall in the woods
Speaker 1: with a photographer that you have to like hike out
Speaker 1: there with and your kids. You have to have that
Speaker 1: get them matching outfits, and you have to clean off
Speaker 1: their feet because their feet get all dirty walking over
Speaker 1: to the waterfall. And then the kid doesn't breakfast that morning,
Speaker 1: and they're like they you have all these like amazing
Speaker 1: poses where they're like, you're a mom me by this
Speaker 1: waterfall and it's just like you didn't see all the
Speaker 1: bull shit around it. And so like when I think
Speaker 1: about those things, I think, Okay, if someone were documenting
Speaker 1: my life, like seeing me like haughing, like with my client,
Speaker 1: like having a moment of fun at work, or just
Speaker 1: like hanging out with Corey and here's my dog, and
Speaker 1: then I would think, Okay, I'd be probably jealous of
Speaker 1: my life. I have gotten jealous of my own life before.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding. I used to go through my Instagram.
Speaker 1: You ever go through your feed to go like what
Speaker 1: do people when I used to be dating and like
Speaker 1: meeting someone knew who didn't really know who I was,
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, oh, they're probably going through my Instagram.
Speaker 1: I want to just see what they see because I
Speaker 1: don't even you know, I post things and I don't
Speaker 1: ever look at what it looks like as a whole,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I'll go through and be like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: like and I'll start to feel these feelings of jealousy
Speaker 1: on my own life because it's a lie. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: trick ourselves and like I'll see myself in like a
Speaker 1: suit with like smiling and I'm like, and I look
Speaker 1: really put together, and I was like, I was never
Speaker 1: sadder and more depressed than when that photo was taken
Speaker 1: and we lied to ourself that was a great night.
Speaker 1: That was a great time because you know what I mean, like,
Speaker 1: because then it's too sad to be like I was
Speaker 1: sad there. I was there. I was sad that, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Yeah, So like I think, I
Speaker 1: think it is easy to be. Yeah, you get jealous
Speaker 1: of people, but then you think about it, You're like,
Speaker 1: I don't really want I have to say, I don't
Speaker 1: really want that. How that looks. I don't want that
Speaker 1: I want And I just know that so many people
Speaker 1: that I had to get been jealous of over the
Speaker 1: years and have either looked the way I want to
Speaker 1: look or and especially look I mean the women that
Speaker 1: I look at that I go, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: would love to look like that. It takes so much
Speaker 1: time to give to work out all the time, you
Speaker 1: have to eat a certain way. They're really they're dieting there.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of times they're just I don't I
Speaker 1: don't ever wake up and go, oh, I have to
Speaker 1: go do this thing I don't want to do, Like
Speaker 1: I don't have to go meet with no offense to
Speaker 1: training like some people love it. But I used to
Speaker 1: get out of bed and go I have to go
Speaker 1: to like I had to go to the gym. Was
Speaker 1: a slave. Yeah, but you make working out fun and
Speaker 1: and and something you can work into your life when
Speaker 1: I have in the past, and I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people approach working out this way, are going to
Speaker 1: the gym. It's like if you skip a day, you
Speaker 1: feel like the worst person, and then you can plummet
Speaker 1: into like it's either all or nothing, and it feels
Speaker 1: like a prison. And when I see these people with
Speaker 1: perfect bodies or perfect asks or like perfect wardrobe, like
Speaker 1: they're spending a lot of time doing all of that,
Speaker 1: and I have extra time to do the things I love.
Speaker 1: So I just always try to think about and I
Speaker 1: know a lot of those people are fucking miserable. It's
Speaker 1: interesting that Kirsten's like, I hate when I see a
Speaker 1: mom with two kids making cookies, and then you're like,
Speaker 1: I hate when I see a girl in a bikini
Speaker 1: on a beach like that, It's like interesting what we
Speaker 1: can get jealous about, Like I don't get tell us
Speaker 1: of a supermodel in this world of like I always
Speaker 1: get jealous of supermodels, and I always wonder why Kristen doesn't.
Speaker 1: I go, like, after we are with Sarahlena for a weekend,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, it was really hard, Like every it
Speaker 1: just is very hard for me to be around someone
Speaker 1: that every time they leave the room or every time
Speaker 1: we get to talking about beauty, it's like we would
Speaker 1: kill to be Seelena. Oh my god, she's oh my god,
Speaker 1: look like she's just the best. Like but saying that,
Speaker 1: I get it, but like why that to me? I
Speaker 1: can't get over that. Here comes my person with autism brain.
Speaker 1: I can't get over that because I because I go,
Speaker 1: it's well, then there's there's a value judgment there. If
Speaker 1: every girl that I'm with and every guy I've ever
Speaker 1: talked to you goes They're the most beautiful person I've
Speaker 1: ever met, Like, oh, I would kill to be with her,
Speaker 1: It's like, then if you're with me or you are
Speaker 1: you look like me, then it would if you got
Speaker 1: to choose, you would rather look like her or you
Speaker 1: would rather be with her. And to me, it's like, well,
Speaker 1: then I don't want to be with someone that would
Speaker 1: always want someone better if they could get it. The
Speaker 1: reason you're with me is because you couldn't get see Lena.
Speaker 1: The reason you look like no, they like you because
Speaker 1: you're not Seelena, because you have a different characteristics, different
Speaker 1: personality like I don't. I don't think because there with
Speaker 1: they can find Sarah. You can find someone gorgeous. There's
Speaker 1: obviously better looking than I mean, that would never end.
Speaker 1: Then you're gonna set yourself of her failure all the time.
Speaker 1: And sera Lena, by the way, it has the same
Speaker 1: in securities that everyone has. Right just where you look
Speaker 1: at her and you hear her going like a girl,
Speaker 1: look at this girl that he's dating. Now she's so like,
Speaker 1: look at her hair, and I go, what are you
Speaker 1: You were seriously but I'm not. No, No, you guys
Speaker 1: all just said she's I'm not serian about a professional
Speaker 1: model friends, No, but I'm saying she has imperfect. She
Speaker 1: has imperfect. Sea Lena has like a beautiful personality that
Speaker 1: just goes Yeah, like if she didn't have her personality,
Speaker 1: I really see who we're talking about. It Sarah Lena
Speaker 1: C E R E l I N A N y C.
Speaker 1: She's just beautiful in and out, and I think it's
Speaker 1: it's her personality that really makes her like all of
Speaker 1: her beauty shines. Well, you can't see her personality when
Speaker 1: she's doing, you know, photo shoots and she kills. You're right,
Speaker 1: we actually can. She can tell her personality the way
Speaker 1: she walks in the room. It's like a playful she
Speaker 1: It makes her even more. But I mean, let me
Speaker 1: just say final thought on this chunk, and I just
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be like I'm not pretty. Guys
Speaker 1: tell me I'm pretty. I'm just saying that when you
Speaker 1: acknowledge when when I'm I just feel weird when I
Speaker 1: am sitting Like there have been times where I have
Speaker 1: a crush on someone and they meet Sarah Lena and
Speaker 1: then she gets up from the table and the guy
Speaker 1: is just like, oh my god, She's like the most
Speaker 1: beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. And it
Speaker 1: just and the person may or may not know I
Speaker 1: even have a crush on them, but and they may
Speaker 1: not think that would offend me because obviously she is,
Speaker 1: but it does. It hurts my feelings because it's just
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's fair that, like God gets
Speaker 1: like that, and I just feel like, well, then you
Speaker 1: should be with her, like you shouldn't. You should shoot
Speaker 1: for the stars. Like I don't ever want to be
Speaker 1: with someone that is less attractive than the most attractive
Speaker 1: I want. If I thought someone was a sere Lena,
Speaker 1: I would settle for nothing else lower than that. Like
Speaker 1: when I like a guy they look like see Lena
Speaker 1: to me, Do you know what I mean? I'm never
Speaker 1: settling for like someone who like, oh, I can't have
Speaker 1: that they're a model. I like, I go for that
Speaker 1: if I want them. And I'm not saying that. And
Speaker 1: I know what you're saying is like Nikki, people like
Speaker 1: you because your personality and all these things that a
Speaker 1: lot of models don't have. But when someone like Selena
Speaker 1: has the personality and as a model, why would you
Speaker 1: ever go for me? Because she has different kind of issues,
Speaker 1: there's different she's uh, I mean, if it's just based
Speaker 1: off of me, because they can't get her. No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I think that's like, I mean, she looks different. She
Speaker 1: looks extremely different than you. If if the guy that
Speaker 1: likes blond and you know, different guys like different looks.
Speaker 1: But would you ever date a guy that said, uh
Speaker 1: that she was like the like they can't even speak
Speaker 1: around someone that you were sitting at a table like
Speaker 1: if I I've had a crush on a guy before.
Speaker 1: I remember the seller that like she came by and
Speaker 1: then she got up and they just like felt like
Speaker 1: the same thing that always happened in high school with
Speaker 1: my sister, You and Kurt, You and Halla and Huffy.
Speaker 1: Whenever my sister would come and be like Nicky, can
Speaker 1: I borrow some jeans? Or like what she wouldn't borrow
Speaker 1: jeans because she was center than me, but she'd be
Speaker 1: like Nikki, um, can I get my jeans back that
Speaker 1: you ruined or whatever? And then she would leave and
Speaker 1: shut the door. They would all fall on the ground
Speaker 1: and go, God, your sister were so because we had
Speaker 1: like acne and we were secure and that we were
Speaker 1: high schoolers. That would never be the case today. No,
Speaker 1: you do it everyone, You guys all do it with
Speaker 1: Sea Lena when we're on trips, you all when she
Speaker 1: leaves the room, you go, God, look at her ass.
Speaker 1: It's perfect when I'm with someone. When I'm with like Brenna,
Speaker 1: like that Jordan guy came to the show and he
Speaker 1: and he's an attractive guy. He's tall. I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: he's tall and whatever, and we like joke about how
Speaker 1: he has these qualities, these physical qualities that I don't have.
Speaker 1: And sure my little insecure about it, but I feel
Speaker 1: like you can like talk about it and not like
Speaker 1: get like jealous about it, more joke about it, like
Speaker 1: like my jealous My jokes are are inside jealousy, Like sure,
Speaker 1: I'd rather be taller. And I think you're talking about
Speaker 1: but Brenna is not saying Jordan's the hottest guy she's
Speaker 1: ever seen. And then you're still like her. Would you
Speaker 1: still like a guy that said, wow, that person? Would
Speaker 1: you still like a girl that in front of you
Speaker 1: said about another guy that's the most attractive person that's
Speaker 1: ever lived. I think I could handle it. I think
Speaker 1: I would laugh about it. I think I would be
Speaker 1: like he is, he's a beautiful man, but you know what,
Speaker 1: talk to him for an hour and you're gonna well,
Speaker 1: I mean, this is my like, you know, insecurities bubbling up.
Speaker 1: And I will go back to what I said at
Speaker 1: the beginning, which is if they wanted to be with them,
Speaker 1: they would, But that's where I go back to, Well,
Speaker 1: they can't because she's at their league, so they have
Speaker 1: to settle for old Glaze Dog. And then I feel like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be with you if you're settling
Speaker 1: for me. I know it's psychologically, isn't it, like evolutionary.
Speaker 1: They're going to give you credit for that joke, and
Speaker 1: that's my joke. By the I didn't want to, don't
Speaker 1: you don't give away that joke. That's a good one,
Speaker 1: I know, but don't give away that one. I save
Speaker 1: something for this one. We like naturally seek people on
Speaker 1: our level though, like we do, but we like that
Speaker 1: because it's familiar. It's like, Okay, I assess you have
Speaker 1: these trades that are attractive. I have these that are attractive.
Speaker 1: But we're both not tends, right, But I for some reason,
Speaker 1: you just said something on the podcast about this about
Speaker 1: guys and girls that we always go for like what
Speaker 1: we are and like or like around what we are.
Speaker 1: If you're an eight, you'll go for an eight or whatever.
Speaker 1: Aside from if you're like a man with money or fame,
Speaker 1: you can get whatever you want. But but it's true, um,
Speaker 1: I would just I think it goes back to my
Speaker 1: problem with like people put so much value, like moral
Speaker 1: value on looks, and I'm talking about like whether you're
Speaker 1: good or bad, Like looks equal good hot, the hottest
Speaker 1: person equals the best person. And I'm I know that's
Speaker 1: not through. I know that there are models with garbage
Speaker 1: personalities that are like the most gorgeous women in the world,
Speaker 1: but they would suck to be around. They're not funny,
Speaker 1: they're not interesting. But I don't think the men that
Speaker 1: I witness dating women, they it's it's very I think
Speaker 1: that men don't really need personality. And that's where I
Speaker 1: get mad. It's like, Okay, well, yeah, a guy might
Speaker 1: like me because I have a better personality than a model,
Speaker 1: But then don't actually care about personality, I think because
Speaker 1: it's the only thing that doesn't age. I do. I
Speaker 1: do feel like guys care, I really do. I really do.
Speaker 1: I think that like at first hook up, if you're
Speaker 1: just fucking you know, and it's like, yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to funk the hottest girl. I don't give a funk
Speaker 1: what she I don't care. Hopefully she doesn't talk. But
Speaker 1: if you want something real and something like authentic, then
Speaker 1: like you take out her vocal cords and make sure
Speaker 1: she doesn't talk, you know what I mean? Yeah, you
Speaker 1: get an octopus which to test a spell on. Here alright,
Speaker 1: final thought, let's it's a collection of kids getting ready.
Speaker 1: So that's your voice getting ready for some kids. Okay, noah,
Speaker 1: we have um our listeners sending kids and let's hear
Speaker 1: what what what? Let's hear the kids. And if you
Speaker 1: don't know, you know, means when you're trying to be
Speaker 1: cool for other people and it's doing something you wouldn't
Speaker 1: do if you were alone. So that other favorite part
Speaker 1: as a bestie, this is my favorite part when I
Speaker 1: listen to you guys. So yeah, okay. This one comes
Speaker 1: from Brie Hi Nikki Laser podcast, My Name's Free. I
Speaker 1: wanted to submit my cub moments. I was at a
Speaker 1: bar with my boyfriend and his friends. Somehow a guy
Speaker 1: that I knew from high school I knew one of
Speaker 1: my boyfriend's friends and was there with us. It seemed
Speaker 1: like he was trying to maybe show off in front
Speaker 1: of everybody, and we were talking about baseball, and he said, true,
Speaker 1: how bad was my rage and the dog out when
Speaker 1: we were playing baseball? Ways, I like to add to
Speaker 1: cook and make it sound like I'm throwing up, so
Speaker 1: in my brain when he said that, I just went,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you're so good. WHOA that was so good, dude,
Speaker 1: that is so good. That was the kiss thing I've
Speaker 1: ever heard. Dude. First of all, let's let's break down
Speaker 1: this jacket. For sure, he had rage, and he's bragging
Speaker 1: about rage. That's already annoying. Number two bro, he started
Speaker 1: with bro. Number three, he thought he was he was.
Speaker 1: He was asking for validation that he wanted to when
Speaker 1: he had the rage. You can tell he marked it like,
Speaker 1: we're probably gonna talk about this later, and it's going
Speaker 1: to be it's gonna be a good story. It's gonna
Speaker 1: make me look like I care about the game a lot.
Speaker 1: So I bet when he threw his fucking baseball glove
Speaker 1: or whatever, there was some part of him that was like,
Speaker 1: I hope this gets brought up later when we go
Speaker 1: out to dinner, and then it didn't. So he got
Speaker 1: a little bit drunk enough to get the courage to
Speaker 1: actually bring it up himself, which is so cut to
Speaker 1: that guy. Literally an hour later, he's gonna be overly drunk.
Speaker 1: He's gonna be literally raging. He's gonna try to fight
Speaker 1: somebody who said that he's probably wasn't that good at baseball.
Speaker 1: And I have a feeling this guy does not rage
Speaker 1: because people that actually have rage issues are very ashamed
Speaker 1: of it, and I don't think this guy, um, he
Speaker 1: wouldn't be bragging about his rage unless it was like
Speaker 1: he probably watched something where a woman once said, like
Speaker 1: I like a man who just like the sexy when
Speaker 1: a guy loses his temper, and so he was probably
Speaker 1: thinking is cool he saw a clip of a baseball
Speaker 1: player like throwing their mid it was like, wow, that
Speaker 1: looks cool, or someone was talking about in a way
Speaker 1: that he thought it would look cool. But I'm guessing
Speaker 1: this guy doesn't rage. No, as someone with uh rage sometimes,
Speaker 1: do you think this guy has rached? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: definitely like the alcohol that contributes to it. That, yes,
Speaker 1: But I don't think. I think if you're bragging about
Speaker 1: your school over your rage, it's just compensating for it.
Speaker 1: Was sold in the dugout, not just like up in
Speaker 1: the stands like he's I mean, bringing up anything high
Speaker 1: school related is a little It was high school. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh he was referencing in high school. But he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I didn't even know that. It's like an
Speaker 1: out Bundy four touchdowns in one game anything. He got
Speaker 1: some attention for it back in the day and was
Speaker 1: trying to impress whatever girl was there. I bet Bree
Speaker 1: is cute, and even though it's his, she has a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: He was still trying to seem like macho, Oh, it's
Speaker 1: just so sad and okay, can I play this one
Speaker 1: for Mary? Yes? Okay, Hi there, Um. I would like
Speaker 1: to report a I was on a zoom call for school.
Speaker 1: I'm in a master's program and we were sent into
Speaker 1: breakout rooms to do some group discussion. And when I
Speaker 1: opened my breakout room with three others, one man was
Speaker 1: casually reading a book right in front of the camera
Speaker 1: that he was not reading before the normal class um,
Speaker 1: but I guess he decided to pick it up. He
Speaker 1: was reading for the breakout room to start, which takes
Speaker 1: like two seconds, and from the cover, I just said
Speaker 1: Philocybin mushrooms and everyone was finally in the room and
Speaker 1: we started talking. He was like, oh, sorry, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to read a little bit. Nobody thinks you're fucking
Speaker 1: cool for reading two second break, so very clearly put
Speaker 1: it right in front of the camp and no one
Speaker 1: reads like the book there facing anyway, thank you for
Speaker 1: giving me this word to describe a lot of things.
Speaker 1: I see you girl, Yeah girl, you guys love you too.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Mary, Like, that's such a good one
Speaker 1: because pretty much any time you can see what someone's reading,
Speaker 1: if while they're reading it, they're being cut because no
Speaker 1: one needs to read like their bell in Beauty and
Speaker 1: the Beast walking through the like look there's she goes
Speaker 1: and things like that's the only time you should read
Speaker 1: with your book up in your face. Okay. It's very
Speaker 1: like you know when you're on the subway in New
Speaker 1: York and it's like a guy has two stops and
Speaker 1: he picks up this book about like like Latin some word,
Speaker 1: and like, I just have a joke about people that
Speaker 1: read books on the train. I would just like watch
Speaker 1: them and they always just they do the thing where
Speaker 1: they are reading and then they go and I would
Speaker 1: just go fuck you, we get it? And are you reading?
Speaker 1: But you're you're laughing at literature? Oh my god, do
Speaker 1: you even own a TV? Like those people? They just
Speaker 1: they love I laugh a lot at um. When I
Speaker 1: was reading David Spade's book on my phone on the plane,
Speaker 1: I was cracking up so hard that I felt kid
Speaker 1: because I thought people might think I was trying to
Speaker 1: get attention, because sometimes people do that even when they're
Speaker 1: watching shows. They just laugh a little too hard because
Speaker 1: you're like working out in the gym and then listening
Speaker 1: to this and it's like and they laugh and they
Speaker 1: try to hold it in they go. But sometimes he
Speaker 1: would do so I don't know when that's killed literature.
Speaker 1: Very funny because he had the book and he was
Speaker 1: dying for someone to go, wait, Jane, and so yes
Speaker 1: exact do you wait? Have you taken those yes? Wait?
Speaker 1: I thought those were legal. Wait a minute, but can
Speaker 1: you imagine being on a zoom call and reading a
Speaker 1: book so that it is up enough for the screen
Speaker 1: to see it. I mean, that's insane. Mr Corman. He
Speaker 1: was doing a zoom on a first date. And then
Speaker 1: you stopped watching that show, But well America did because
Speaker 1: it got canceled. Oh well, I watched the last one
Speaker 1: and in the in the last buy, but he's on
Speaker 1: this first date and she's like, oh, I see a guitar.
Speaker 1: Do you play guitar? And in background he was like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I didn't want to my guitar out, but
Speaker 1: like it's like having like a guitar in the back. Oh,
Speaker 1: I have guitars in the background of all my pictures.
Speaker 1: And someone last night goes, do you play guitar? When
Speaker 1: we posted on our Nicky Glazer pod, we post a
Speaker 1: picture of Andrew rubbing my feet and someone goes, Nicky,
Speaker 1: do you play guitar? And I thought they were being
Speaker 1: like you showing up your guitars, like they were saying, like,
Speaker 1: I promise you. I've never been like I hope someone
Speaker 1: in the background sees my guitar because I I'm not
Speaker 1: a almost worse than laughing. Oh sorry, go ahead, go ahead. Well,
Speaker 1: I just want to make sure that these books are
Speaker 1: these here to be, These books are now here to
Speaker 1: Becuse it's Gary Shandling's book, which is just like that's
Speaker 1: a good It's Seinfeld is there, It's Jerry Seinfeld's book,
Speaker 1: Cathy Griffin's book, and Howard started, it's not trying to
Speaker 1: because these are just things I like just checking and
Speaker 1: I've never even read most of those books. I love
Speaker 1: when people read books too on trains and instead of laughing,
Speaker 1: they they get this look like they just learned something
Speaker 1: like like that's almost worse to me because it's like
Speaker 1: very subtle. It's like I'm smarter, Like I know more
Speaker 1: words since saw dude watching porn at Starbucks. I'd rather that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, you're right. Someone just starts laughing or
Speaker 1: going like that's how you learned the reverse cow girl
Speaker 1: kind of that you tread all right, let's get to
Speaker 1: the last like this, you wrap them around them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I told them. I told people about it, I think
Speaker 1: in the in my alone time a couple of days ago.
Speaker 1: This one's from Lindsay. Hey, Nikki, this is Lindsay and Arizona,
Speaker 1: longtime listener, first time caller. I had a moment happened
Speaker 1: to me today that I thought I would share with
Speaker 1: you and get your input. So I was with the
Speaker 1: customer doing a site tour, walking around the building premises,
Speaker 1: and neither of us had our phones on us and
Speaker 1: needed to know what time it was another guy was
Speaker 1: walking toward us opposite direction. So the dude I was
Speaker 1: with said, Hey, Toby, do you happen to have the time?
Speaker 1: This Toby guy responds in military time, like who are you?
Speaker 1: You're so cool, dude, because for knowing military time, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but read the room. This was not a military situation.
Speaker 1: I'm so confused. I don't know military time. So my
Speaker 1: question to you is was this a co moment on
Speaker 1: his behalf or mine or not knowing military time? Maybe
Speaker 1: that's a normal thing. I don't know. Anyway, that's my story.
Speaker 1: I love the show. Thank you so much for the
Speaker 1: like he probably talks about, like when he's like far,
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, we're about four clicks from the Walgreens,
Speaker 1: like everything we're gonna have to send in the Alpha
Speaker 1: data team. Yeah, like what are we doing? So? Yeah,
Speaker 1: him giving some telemarketer his last name, it's a Delta alpha,
Speaker 1: Like he's memorid threes. I the military time, and you
Speaker 1: know who does that to doctor? They live off military time.
Speaker 1: Guess what? Like if you are I can maybe understand
Speaker 1: someone's listening and going like, well that's what I know,
Speaker 1: you know, Like that's just what I'm used to knowing
Speaker 1: tough luck, don't you. You have to realize that other
Speaker 1: people don't live in that world. Like that's one of
Speaker 1: the kidst things you can do, is like uh, abbreviate
Speaker 1: something and when you're talking in a group, like everyone
Speaker 1: fucking knows who it is, like like if you do,
Speaker 1: Like last night, my dad goes, um, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I was accepted at CCM. And I'm like, no one
Speaker 1: knows what CCM. It's like, you have to say Cincinnati
Speaker 1: Conservatory of Music. That's kid, you know, he didn't mean to,
Speaker 1: you know what. I hate what's very when someone when
Speaker 1: American person says cheers at the end, I don't know
Speaker 1: why that really signature cheers. Well that and then personally
Speaker 1: cheers cheers. I don't know really for an identity so
Speaker 1: much if they're but that's military Timey Clayton Champagne, his
Speaker 1: last name is Champagne, and he used to say cheers
Speaker 1: and that I didn't mind that because his name is Champagne.
Speaker 1: That's a fun little thing. Yeah, that's better than have
Speaker 1: a good day. What do they say? People say cheers
Speaker 1: as a way. I've just been like Starbucks, thank you
Speaker 1: cheers versus snaying have a good day. I don't know
Speaker 1: I have a good dad. Okay, Well, like it's weird
Speaker 1: you care about them having a good day. I will
Speaker 1: say that sometimes if someone's read to me, I'll go
Speaker 1: have a good one, and they don't know that I
Speaker 1: mean death. So I'm not lying by being like, have
Speaker 1: a good one, and it means like means I hope
Speaker 1: you die, like and that's not real, but like I'm not.
Speaker 1: I can still get away with saying something positive without
Speaker 1: being a dicker. Ahead I'm a dick. Here's good day. Um.
Speaker 1: Now they say it though, like like they say it
Speaker 1: like they read like like it's it's all the same
Speaker 1: kind of person. It's like this like identity thing that
Speaker 1: you're saying, like they're searching. You don't have to search
Speaker 1: that hard to have an identity, just kind of you're
Speaker 1: cool already. It's generally white people because we don't have
Speaker 1: any culture and we are searching for one all the time,
Speaker 1: and like something that sets us apart from that. We
Speaker 1: can be like this is my thing, and it's just
Speaker 1: find something other than you're the guy that says years
Speaker 1: or your jackpot or something. Yeah, like don't get jackpot
Speaker 1: freaking tattooed on your arm because idiot. And don't get
Speaker 1: a jaguarre tattooed on your arm because you think it
Speaker 1: represents Florida, which it doesn't in any way other than
Speaker 1: there's a football team that you don't even you're not
Speaker 1: even like a huge fan of that football I don't
Speaker 1: even know where they are. Wait, Jacksonville, I know, all right,
Speaker 1: Jacksonville organ c. Did you just like almost hit my boob? Bob, Sorry,
Speaker 1: it feels good. They're really big, They're they're heavy because
Speaker 1: we're both p ms. Our booms are both like so big,
Speaker 1: not big, but like heavy. Two cows over here. Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: keep looking up because I send them in. We fucking
Speaker 1: loved those those a plus because to Bree, Um, Liz
Speaker 1: and Mary today like those were all very different and
Speaker 1: one time he thought of before and Lindsay, Lindsay Mary
Speaker 1: and oh sorry, I said, Liz h and Brie, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. I remember those names because they're all
Speaker 1: different cheeses, just kidding. Only one is Um, don't be
Speaker 1: cut out there look for Cause and Kay