WEBVTT - Mr. Michael Oppenheimer 13 

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<v Speaker 1>Don't answer the phone.

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<v Speaker 2>Elvis durand Elvis Duran's phone tap.

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<v Speaker 3>Michael Oppenheimer strikes again. Dear Elvis, my son Milo gets

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<v Speaker 3>crazy when telemarketers call the house. Huh mean Milo's been

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<v Speaker 3>away for a while, so he's not familiar with Michael Oppenheimer.

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<v Speaker 3>He won't recognize the voice, and Michael Oppenheimer's relentless sales

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<v Speaker 3>pitches will drive Milo nuts. Please phone tap him. He's

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<v Speaker 3>a crazy, wild guy. As you'll hear, he's gonna fall

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<v Speaker 3>for a big time.

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<v Speaker 1>All right.

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<v Speaker 3>This is a phone tap done by Milo's mother Cheryl

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<v Speaker 3>and Milo's sister Nina. All right, Scary's gonna play the

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<v Speaker 3>part of Michael Oppenheimer selling alarm systems to Milo.

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<v Speaker 1>Shall we listen in little Hello, good afternoon. This is

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<v Speaker 1>mister Michael Oppenheimer with HT and Z home security systems.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you doing today, sir?

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<v Speaker 4>Uh? Not too good to right now?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah? Well did you know that one in every

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<v Speaker 1>four homeowners have had their home robbed each year?

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't know that. I'm sorry? Can I go because

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<v Speaker 4>I really don't feel good?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you know that every eight seconds of burglar breaks

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<v Speaker 1>into another home?

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<v Speaker 4>I'm sorry? I don't mean to be rude, sir, but

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<v Speaker 4>I really gotta go right.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you know that with each TZ home security systems,

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<v Speaker 1>thieves don't stand a chance to rob you and get

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<v Speaker 1>away with your personal belongings?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh, sir, did you hear what I say?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I hear you.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Feel good.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm just gonna go all right. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 4>be rude.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll ensure your protection against time.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 4>I realized this, but I really gotta go all right.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you for your time.

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<v Speaker 1>We have a special offer for you today, sir.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I realize that, but I'm not interested. Hello, this

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<v Speaker 4>is mister.

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Oppenheimer EAHTZ Home Security Systems against sir. Did you

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<v Speaker 1>know that ruin and every four homeowners have had their

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<v Speaker 1>homes and robbed each year?

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<v Speaker 4>Listen, man, I've lived in South Africa, which is one

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<v Speaker 4>of the most dangerous countries in the entire world. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't put of that. With my doors locked, I leave

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<v Speaker 4>my windows open. If somebody wants to rob me, then

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<v Speaker 4>they can come in and rob me. I really don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you know that every eight seconds of burglar bridge

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<v Speaker 1>into another home. Are you aware of this?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, you told me that before, so I'm aware of it.

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<v Speaker 1>One of those eight seconds could be you.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not purchasing anything. I really have to go.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, we seem to have gotten disconnected. This is mister

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<v Speaker 1>Michael Oppenheimer with HTZ Home Security System.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm actually robbing this house I'm in right now, so

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<v Speaker 4>I'm one of the people that you're going after.

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<v Speaker 1>It, all right.

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<v Speaker 2>Normally the police don't call back, normally harassing me.

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<v Speaker 4>Man, stop calling.

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<v Speaker 2>The first time it was cool because I was very

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<v Speaker 2>relaxed and I said, please don't call back. But this

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<v Speaker 2>is the third time in a row you've called, and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't appreciate it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, you let me finish, sir.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't want to hear what you have to say.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not interested in home security system. We have a

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<v Speaker 2>limited time, but I don't even own this house. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not interested. Really, I'm telling you, I already don't feel good,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm telling you please call my house.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you live in No?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you understand you call the house again, I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to call the police.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll give you the first month free.

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<v Speaker 4>Though I realized this, no other.

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<v Speaker 1>Security company can come close to this type off fork provide.

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<v Speaker 4>I have to go.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm saying goodbye, and if you call again then we're

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<v Speaker 2>going to have a bit of an issue.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, this is mister Michael.

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<v Speaker 4>You've said this before.

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<v Speaker 1>So did you know that one in every five I realized.

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<v Speaker 4>That one in every fus Holmes gets robbed every forty

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<v Speaker 4>seconds or whatever you're saying.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually that was the second fact.

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<v Speaker 4>No, no, I know that's the second fact. I don't

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<v Speaker 4>want to hear it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's eat seconds.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I don't want to hear it anymore. Please stop

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<v Speaker 4>calling my house, sir.

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<v Speaker 1>All we want to do is make your home secure.

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<v Speaker 4>Listen, man, I have to go now.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll talk to you again in like twenty seconds, because

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<v Speaker 2>you're going to call back again in like twenty seconds.

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<v Speaker 1>You're a real comedian, aren't you.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm a comedian. Could I get on a comedy special?

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<v Speaker 1>I could get you on the radio.

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<v Speaker 4>You could get me on the radio.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to meet the president of HTZ Home Security?

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<v Speaker 4>To meet the president of ht Z w H t

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<v Speaker 4>Z f M. You're making this stuff, dude.

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<v Speaker 1>This is scary Jones and you've been phone tapped?

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<v Speaker 4>Are you serious?

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<v Speaker 2>But your mom you must be joking?

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<v Speaker 4>No way, man, My grandfather.

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<v Speaker 2>He just said to me, it's probably those crazy people

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<v Speaker 2>from the radio. Elvis Duran's phone