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Speaker 1: I said this before and I'll say it again. All

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Speaker 1: women need to have a hot girl something at some

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Speaker 1: point in their life. Dead ask. I agree. Now the

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Speaker 1: question is, can can you run me back on that

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Speaker 1: hot girl something I'm supposed to have? Or is it

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Speaker 1: too late? It depends if I have a hoochi daddy summer?

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Speaker 1: You got the shorts? You're such a capital girl. Ye. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. You may know us

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Speaker 1: from posting funny videos with our boys and reading each

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Speaker 1: other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make

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Speaker 1: you need therapy most days. Wow. And one more important

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Speaker 1: thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created this

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Speaker 1: podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics,

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Speaker 1: things most folks don't want to talk about through the

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Speaker 1: lens of a millennial married couple. That as to the

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Speaker 1: term that we say every day. So when we say

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Speaker 1: dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth,

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Speaker 1: and nothing but the truth. Were about to take pillow

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Speaker 1: to up to a whole new level. Dead ass starts

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Speaker 1: right now. I'm gonna take us back to summertime two

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Speaker 1: thousand and four. This was at the end of my

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Speaker 1: junior year in college. Your senior year in college, Kadeina

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Speaker 1: and I, as usual, were going through our typical ups

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Speaker 1: and downs, ebbs and flows of relationships, right you love

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Speaker 1: each other one day, hate each other next day. Right

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Speaker 1: on top of that, Kadina and I had run into

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Speaker 1: an issue with her mom where this is very well

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Speaker 1: documented that Mimi was very very hard on me, and

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Speaker 1: at this point I was deciding to not spend any

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Speaker 1: time around her side of the family. So when we

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Speaker 1: came back to Brooklyn in the summertime, it was just

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Speaker 1: at my parents house and then she would go in

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Speaker 1: time with her family. But I was at my parents

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Speaker 1: house the whole time this summer. It was this is

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Speaker 1: when I was in college, Brian was in college, and

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Speaker 1: Terry was staying by the house. Shout out Terry Crenshaw.

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Speaker 1: But um, this one summer particular, Kadina and I was

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Speaker 1: arguing about everything and I was like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I think we need a break mhm. And Codin was like, fine,

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Speaker 1: you want to break the viale, I'll give you a break.

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Speaker 1: Because I was like, no, no no, no, Ain't, it's about

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Speaker 1: what I want. Do you want to break? And she

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Speaker 1: kept saying to me, why do you keep asking me

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Speaker 1: if I want to break? And at that point I said, listen,

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Speaker 1: if we're gonna do this thing, call forever. I want

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Speaker 1: you to know for certain that you want to be

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Speaker 1: with me forever. I think you need to take some

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Speaker 1: time for yourself and make a decision of whether or

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Speaker 1: not you want to be in this forever. Because we

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Speaker 1: kept arguing about what we both wanted, but we couldn't

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Speaker 1: get on the same page. And at this night, Kadin said, fine,

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Speaker 1: let's take a break. I said, in my parents house.

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Speaker 1: She slept at her parents house. Wake up the next morning.

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Speaker 1: The Dean calls me immediately when she wakes up, and

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Speaker 1: it's outside of my parents house. And we proceeded to

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Speaker 1: spend the next summer the exact same way we spent

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Speaker 1: the two summers prior together, and we've spent every summer

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Speaker 1: since then just like that. You ain't none, but mama,

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Speaker 1: you ain't none, but mama, you ain't none, but you

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Speaker 1: ain't none, but you ain't none but mama? Who comes?

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Speaker 1: Who knows what movie that's from? Does anybody I give you?

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Speaker 1: If I don't know, you don't know, you don't remember

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Speaker 1: what the song I just remember what well you could

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Speaker 1: Dean Joseph right now. But Friday, it was a Friday, Yes,

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Speaker 1: I know it was one of them. Come on, man,

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Speaker 1: Friday belly. No, it wasn't juicing belly. Belly was a

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Speaker 1: little bit late. It was Friday, Friday, alright, Friday, come on,

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Speaker 1: you gotta know that. But before we take a break,

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Speaker 1: I want to point this out. When they used to

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Speaker 1: sing songs about hot girls summers, they would call them

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Speaker 1: huti mama's. You ain't nothing but to get a webs bit, right,

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Speaker 1: But now you got the hot girls talking about hot

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Speaker 1: girls summers. And so let's discuss this. After we pay

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Speaker 1: some of these bills. We'll be back. All right, we're back, Now,

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Speaker 1: we're back. I feel like you know about I was

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Speaker 1: robbed with my hot girls summer or whatever y'all want

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Speaker 1: to call it. Now. Um, I was robbed with it,

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Speaker 1: but not by you, per se. And I robbed myself

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Speaker 1: because I definitely told you so'll do what you want

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Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, you know, people say, you know I

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Speaker 1: would be missed if I didn't what I feel remissed.

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Speaker 1: This is one instance where I was just like, man,

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Speaker 1: I could have used the good just just to see

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Speaker 1: what it was like. You ain't the only thing what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying, I mean from when I really think about

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Speaker 1: my twenties. I spent a lot of my time in

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Speaker 1: my twenties catering to you and vice versa, and because

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Speaker 1: we thought that that's what we were supposed to do,

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Speaker 1: right our parents warned us, though both of our moms

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Speaker 1: warned us to say, hey, y'all get into this a

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Speaker 1: little too early. And if we're being honest, it worked

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Speaker 1: out for us, because I mean, we're still here, so

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Speaker 1: there's no one way to find yourself in a happy

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Speaker 1: relationships giving anomaly though, because I don't think this is well,

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Speaker 1: there are some statistics that state that doing things the

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Speaker 1: way we've done things produce an outcome that's more inclined

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Speaker 1: to be successful in marriages, and we're gonna get to those.

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Speaker 1: But before we get to those, I want to hear

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Speaker 1: why you feel like you missed out on the hot

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Speaker 1: girl something. Well, because I've never had that experience. Like

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Speaker 1: I said, you know, going literally from my parents household

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Speaker 1: to in essence, your household or whatever we were creating

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Speaker 1: for ourselves together never really gave me the opportunity to

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Speaker 1: do that and on those moments when we were not together,

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Speaker 1: you know, whether it was for a week or for

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. Um, I think my focus at

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Speaker 1: the time was instead of being on myself and not

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Speaker 1: just me being out there in these streets, but just

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Speaker 1: me in general and Cadine as an individual and what

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Speaker 1: do you want out of life and you know, what's

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Speaker 1: gonna make you happy. I think I was more concerned

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Speaker 1: with how to get back in your good graces, and

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Speaker 1: that in turn just completely took my focus away from

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Speaker 1: that in general. Um. But yeah, like if I think

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Speaker 1: if we both had an opportunity just to just you know,

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Speaker 1: go do our things, meet people day and and to me,

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Speaker 1: it's not even just about sex. It's about just meeting people,

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Speaker 1: going out juggling men for a little bit, you know,

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Speaker 1: seeing personalities like that's something that we never had a

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Speaker 1: chance to experience. So do you feel like you you

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Speaker 1: missed out on it or do you feel this resentment

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Speaker 1: towards me? Yeah, definitely, no resentment at all. But it's

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Speaker 1: one of those things like if you could do life

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Speaker 1: all over again, or if you could speak to your

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Speaker 1: twenty year old self, what would you say. Um? And

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Speaker 1: in those moments. That's definitely what definitely what it would

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Speaker 1: have been is like, you know, go out there and

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Speaker 1: just see what's out there. And then the crazy part

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Speaker 1: is the people who are out there never want to

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Speaker 1: be out there, just like, damn, there's nothing here. So

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Speaker 1: that's what I was going to say, because my boys

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Speaker 1: who are still saying today and some of them who

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Speaker 1: did enjoy their twenties just live in life. Um, for me,

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Speaker 1: it is fomo, right, or it was fomo because I

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Speaker 1: never had that true bachelor pad life where I could

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Speaker 1: just juggle women and not think about it because even

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Speaker 1: on the times we have breaks when I entertained other women,

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Speaker 1: in the back of my mind it was like, I

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Speaker 1: can't go too far, do too much because I don't

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Speaker 1: want to disrespect codeine. So I never had a chance

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Speaker 1: to really go out there really, So even in those moments,

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Speaker 1: you know, I do sometimes feel like, Dan, what would

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Speaker 1: it have been? Like, you know, it's just fomo. But

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Speaker 1: then I not boys who'll be like, you don't miss

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Speaker 1: out on much because I was out there and it

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Speaker 1: gets shallow and it feels good in the beginning, but

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Speaker 1: then after a while it gets overally fast. Say the

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Speaker 1: you know my female friends, who I speak to her

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Speaker 1: in that boat or who maybe back in that boat

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Speaker 1: now after a divorce, for example, Like you know they're

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Speaker 1: just like man, you know they over here. It's nothing

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Speaker 1: to be concerned about because there's just nothing here. But

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Speaker 1: I want to speak to my fear and why. I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of people gonna be like, yo, do

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Speaker 1: why would you push your your girl to go out

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Speaker 1: and have a hot girl somewhere? Right? Let me be clear,

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Speaker 1: I never pushed codeine out. It was never that my

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Speaker 1: biggest fear in life, right, because I don't like to

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Speaker 1: be caged. If that's one thing you know about me,

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Speaker 1: people say it's everything, or I don't. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it is. I don't like to feel like I

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Speaker 1: have to be somewhere. It doesn't matter. If it's a relationship,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have a matter. If it's work, it doesn't matter,

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Speaker 1: even if it's my kids. Right, if someone asked me

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Speaker 1: to do something, For example, Jack said, hey, Dad, uh,

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Speaker 1: don't forget to turn on the pool because we have

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Speaker 1: so and so. Right, got you, bro, I'm gonna turn

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Speaker 1: on the pool. Ten minutes later he goes, Dad, turned

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Speaker 1: on the pool. Now I'm not doing it just because

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Speaker 1: you told me you wanted me to do it in

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Speaker 1: that moment. That it's not being petty, it's just I

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Speaker 1: want to be able to make the choice for my being. Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to ever feel an obligation to someone

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Speaker 1: because I don't feel like we owe each other anything.

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Speaker 1: We're supposed to choose whether or not we want to

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Speaker 1: do life together. So I never wanted to grow up.

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Speaker 1: And then midway through my midlife, my wife says, you

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Speaker 1: know when I never really wanted all of this. I

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Speaker 1: never got a chance to be by myself. I'm leaving

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Speaker 1: because that happens to people, right. People go into life

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Speaker 1: trying to emulate other people's lives, searching for happiness. Right.

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Speaker 1: So it's like, wait a minute, if I do everything

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Speaker 1: like that couple over there, I'm gonna be happy. And

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Speaker 1: now you find yourself in your thirties, forties, sometimes fifty

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Speaker 1: and say, wait a minute. I emulated everything I saw

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Speaker 1: for someone else, and I'm not happy. I just realized

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Speaker 1: I don't have to do this, and I'm gone. I

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Speaker 1: never wanted to be married to someone and have that

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Speaker 1: person say that to me, so in my mind was like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I feel like a Dean is my future. I have

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Speaker 1: to give her some space and latitude to be able

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Speaker 1: to say no, I really just want to be with

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Speaker 1: Devout because I want to be with Devout, not because

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Speaker 1: he's selling me. I have to be here. So that

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Speaker 1: was my whole purpose. Now I get that. I mean

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Speaker 1: taking the obligation out of anything, I think makes you

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Speaker 1: really decipher is this something that I want to do voluntarily?

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Speaker 1: You know? Or not? Um? But yeah, this this Houcci

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Speaker 1: Daddy short and hot girls summers. I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: like the latest, the latest trend at least with is

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Speaker 1: it just everyone? I don't know if it's a generational

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Speaker 1: thing or if everybody is buying into it, if it's

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Speaker 1: a social media hype um, But it seems to be

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Speaker 1: for the single young people. And we just want to know,

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Speaker 1: are these moments of debauchery an obstacle to a future marriage? Well,

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Speaker 1: we can, we can talk a little bit about to

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Speaker 1: a married future. We were talking about it from a

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Speaker 1: woman and man's standpoint, and we were having this conversation

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Speaker 1: with a bunch of friends who are and then women,

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Speaker 1: and we were going through the timeline for men and women. Right,

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Speaker 1: So just listen to this timeline. If you're a young

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Speaker 1: woman and you're attracted by the a sixteen seventeen typically

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Speaker 1: sixteen seventeen year old women, you see it now and

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Speaker 1: you've seen it back then. Those young ladies were often

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Speaker 1: looking at older men for attention. We all know that

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Speaker 1: girl in high school that had the oldest picking her

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Speaker 1: up outside and then you see junior senior year she

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Speaker 1: having a baby or something like that. Yet, so we

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Speaker 1: all in Brooklyn, we saw it all the time. All

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Speaker 1: of the hot girls who were sixteen seventeen were getting

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Speaker 1: attention from the twenty year old plus guys when we

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Speaker 1: were in high school. But those sixteen and seventeen year

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Speaker 1: old boys typically were left feeling like, there's nothing I

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Speaker 1: can offer her, right there's There was a meme that

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Speaker 1: was out a couple of weeks ago they said men

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Speaker 1: are the only beings on earth that are not loved unconditionally.

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Speaker 1: Right For for example, with children, you love unconditionally, you

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Speaker 1: don't expect anything from him. A woman, if she's beautiful,

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Speaker 1: you can love her, you know, unconditionally. But a man,

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Speaker 1: no matter what he looks like, has to be able

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Speaker 1: to provide something in order for someone to love him.

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Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think women it can be

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Speaker 1: very conditional with women. What yo, there is no woman

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Speaker 1: on earth that's gonna just say I'm just gonna love

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Speaker 1: a man with no ambition that just just sits at

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Speaker 1: home and just loves on me. There's always but even

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Speaker 1: vice versa. Is there a man that just wants to

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Speaker 1: love a woman that's just at home doing nothing? Really?

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Speaker 1: Trophy wives, that's yeah, that's under a condition though, because

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Speaker 1: when it looks fade, then what what you doing then?

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Speaker 1: But those conditions change depending on whoever is putting in

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Speaker 1: for that wife, right, So a trophy wife to certain

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Speaker 1: people looks different ways. So you don't have to look

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Speaker 1: a certain way to be a trophy wife. There are

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Speaker 1: women who are stay at home wives that some people,

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Speaker 1: and you know them, say how does she get picked

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Speaker 1: to be a trophy wife because she doesn't fit what

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Speaker 1: you think is pretty? But someone does. How many trophy

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Speaker 1: husbands do you see on planet Earth? Let's be honest,

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Speaker 1: if we're gonna be dead as yeah, yeah, I worked

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Speaker 1: for this, but you cute? That was that? You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I'm saying that to say that I

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Speaker 1: feel like some women too can get away with. You know,

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Speaker 1: people can't get away with certain things. You can, like,

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Speaker 1: if the woman is going to be a stay at

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Speaker 1: home woman, she has to look good. That's the condition

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Speaker 1: under which she'll be able. But she only has to

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Speaker 1: look good to that man. She doesn't have to look

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Speaker 1: good to society. So what I'm saying is that if

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Speaker 1: this person, you're making more of a general statement. This

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Speaker 1: team was a general state, the mean was a general statement,

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Speaker 1: and you know all general statements is like I always say,

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Speaker 1: general statements, general statements is the devil's work because you

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Speaker 1: can't put everyone under one umbrella. We always say that.

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Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is, if you look at history, right,

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Speaker 1: and everything we're talking about now has to be put

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Speaker 1: in the context of history, there's no vacuum, which means

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Speaker 1: there's always things around it, right, it came before and after, right.

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Speaker 1: But when you look at women, for example, there's no

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Speaker 1: condition that a woman has to be able to provide

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Speaker 1: a lifestyle for a man in the content of history

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Speaker 1: in order for her to be deemed enough to be

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Speaker 1: a good enough wife. It just has to be that

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Speaker 1: that woman has to be desirable enough for that man

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Speaker 1: for him to say I want her. I mean, there's

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Speaker 1: some women taking care of men because the hoochie daddy

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Speaker 1: shorts of expose them they are, and then that's what's

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Speaker 1: getting them by daddy shorts. But let me ask a question, though, seriously, though,

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Speaker 1: how long does that last before women be like this

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Speaker 1: bumask nigger sitting on my couch not doing nothing that happens.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. There's a condition at some point

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Speaker 1: he has to be able to provide something or else

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Speaker 1: he going he's providing something, all right, it's in the

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Speaker 1: hoochie daddy short. But yeah, I get Do you get

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying or you're just trying to deflect because

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Speaker 1: you know that's what I'm doing. That's what you're doing,

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Speaker 1: because you completely get what you're saying. I'm just saying

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Speaker 1: that I feel like, like you said, it's a very

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Speaker 1: general statement. So of course it's going to be a

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Speaker 1: question to I was just playing Devil's advocate the same

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Speaker 1: way you like to. And and and this is what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. Imagine being seventeen or sixteen years old, right,

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Speaker 1: and all the girls that you like seventeen like older men.

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Speaker 1: So those young women spend most of their late teens

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Speaker 1: early twenties, dealing with older men, dealing with older men issues, right,

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Speaker 1: A lot of times they get dragged through the mud,

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Speaker 1: right because those older men were pretty much using you

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Speaker 1: for your youth. Right. But during those times, this is

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Speaker 1: these are my huchi mama tims. These are my times

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a hot girl summers. You and your twenties,

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Speaker 1: you live in your life because ultimately, when you're in

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Speaker 1: that point in your life, you don't really have to

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Speaker 1: provide anything to get attention from men. You just have

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Speaker 1: to look good, right. Me and my boys talk about

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Speaker 1: this all the time. When you get to a point

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Speaker 1: as a man and you start asking women to go

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Speaker 1: out on dates, they ask questions like where are we going,

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Speaker 1: what are we eating, what are we drinking? You don't

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Speaker 1: really ever ask a woman that when you're going out

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Speaker 1: on dates, you know what I'm saying. So I want

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Speaker 1: people to think about this. A woman has her time

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Speaker 1: late teens, twenties, right, A man has to spend that

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Speaker 1: time to do what build him self up to be

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Speaker 1: what They're still figuring things out. Man particularly, I would

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Speaker 1: say things probably hit for a man in his thirties,

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Speaker 1: and that's the man who's been working at whatever it

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Speaker 1: is he's been working at. I'm glad this is not

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Speaker 1: even just some dude that just as existing. I'm glad

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Speaker 1: this is somebody who is deliberate and diligent, and this

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Speaker 1: is the man who's like, I'm taking all the necessary

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Speaker 1: steps to be able to build whatever life it is

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to build. So boom. Men in their twenties

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Speaker 1: have their hucchie face sometimes and it's like they know

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Speaker 1: some cougars who just want to get dick down. Right,

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Speaker 1: Men don't have a problem feeling objectified. We don't, all right.

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Speaker 1: I remember playing football and you be on campus and

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Speaker 1: you walk around with no shirt on, your hucchie daddy shorts,

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Speaker 1: girdles or great sweatpants and all the women has got

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Speaker 1: everything to say. But as men, we don't have a

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Speaker 1: problem with that because we don't mind being to embraced.

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Speaker 1: The cat calls and absolutely, yeah, absolutely, And I've never

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Speaker 1: in my life ever felt uncomfortable with being cat called

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Speaker 1: by women. And you have to to stand. Like we

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Speaker 1: talked about the context of history, there's a power dynamic,

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Speaker 1: right if I, as a man, when close to two

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Speaker 1: hundred pounds is getting cap called by a woman. The

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Speaker 1: average height of a woman is about five five and

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Speaker 1: twenty pounds. If she wants to get aggressive with me,

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Speaker 1: I can defend myself. Right For a woman, it's not

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Speaker 1: the same thing. If you are dressed a certain way

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Speaker 1: and you come across some asshole who decides he wants

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Speaker 1: to be aggressive, it's a little bit more intimidating. That's

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Speaker 1: why the dynamic between hoochie mamas and hohochie daddies are different.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong.

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Speaker 1: We just explained the dynamic. But for for the young

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Speaker 1: men who are living their twenties and there for that

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Speaker 1: for that point, is just the hoochie daddy, right, who's

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Speaker 1: gonna deliver dick to an older woman or a woman

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Speaker 1: who got her life figured out just want to get

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Speaker 1: banged out. Men don't mind doing that because we also

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Speaker 1: in the back of our mind. Nos, there's gonna come

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Speaker 1: a point in time when I get my finances in

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Speaker 1: order and I get to be the one looking from

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Speaker 1: my hoochie mama. And then is he doing that with

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Speaker 1: a woman in his in her twenties that's the thing,

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Speaker 1: or is he looking for somebody his age because I'm

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Speaker 1: here in the struggle. Now is the thirty some things?

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Speaker 1: Once you hit that age as a woman, thirty something,

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Speaker 1: men ain't check it for you either. So now let's

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Speaker 1: let's not And I'm glad you asked that question. It's

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Speaker 1: perfect time and we're talking about ages right in our twenties.

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Speaker 1: There's something that's very real, and it's called the biological clock.

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Speaker 1: Women once they passed thirty and even more further past

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Speaker 1: thirty five, it becomes more difficult to conceive, carry and

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Speaker 1: deliver a baby healthily. You see what I'm saying. So

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Speaker 1: a lot of times what we're noticing is what happens

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Speaker 1: is that women will have their time and their fun

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Speaker 1: in their twenties where they can control the dynamic because

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Speaker 1: they're young, they're beautiful, they want to have their fun.

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Speaker 1: But now you get to thirty and you want someone

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Speaker 1: to say, hey, I want her to be my wife.

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Speaker 1: It takes time to get to know someone. But now

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Speaker 1: you're asking men the same age, who is now thirty,

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Speaker 1: who finally, at thirty may have reached the point where

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Speaker 1: he can fully embrace his ability to have fun because

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Speaker 1: now he has the resources to be a catch. Remember

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Speaker 1: in your twenties, when you don't have anything, you're not

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Speaker 1: really a catch, so you're not getting the opportunities that

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Speaker 1: your female counterparts are because if you're younger in your twenties,

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Speaker 1: you get all of these older men who have money,

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Speaker 1: who have fame, who have power, who could say I

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Speaker 1: want her. So you're feeling like, you know, oh, I

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Speaker 1: got him to choose me as a man. When you're

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Speaker 1: in your twenties, you don't have anything to offer, You're

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Speaker 1: pretty much dealing with the leftovers. You see what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: Because those young women are searching for the dudes with

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Speaker 1: all women who have it already. You're not the guy

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Speaker 1: who has money. It's very few women who say I

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Speaker 1: want to build with someone my age in their twenties,

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Speaker 1: because both of you are still trying to figure things.

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Speaker 1: That's what I was about to say. It seems like

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Speaker 1: it just makes more sense to try to build with

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Speaker 1: somebody younger. Though I feel like you and I at

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Speaker 1: different points and have spoken to different people, have told

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Speaker 1: them younger people than us when asking for advice or

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Speaker 1: how do we make it work, or what we've been

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Speaker 1: doing to, you know, get to the point we're at.

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Speaker 1: We usually advise them not to stay together or be

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Speaker 1: too serious too early, kind of like what our parents did.

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Speaker 1: But it did work for us because we were able

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Speaker 1: to grind together. And I think in that respect respect

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00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 1: each other's hospital and each other's process to get to

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Speaker 1: where we are today. But think about some of the

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Speaker 1: flat that we catch right when we say we had

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Speaker 1: say when we talk about we had a break island

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Speaker 1: and then they could just go out and do whatever

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Speaker 1: he wants to come back. Na, my chick can't go

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Speaker 1: on no break and come back. Oh devouche did not

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Speaker 1: that cannin just sticking around and get cheated on. Think

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Speaker 1: about all the things that we have been through, that

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Speaker 1: we've weathered, the storm that people criticize and criticized and

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Speaker 1: crucify us for. Right, there's a lot of young people

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Speaker 1: who are like, I don't want to go through that level.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to go through that, So let me

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Speaker 1: get everything out of my system. Because the truth of

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Speaker 1: the matter is being a young person in today's society

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Speaker 1: with the attention that young women are getting being over sexualized,

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Speaker 1: and the attention that young men are getting for wearing

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Speaker 1: quote unquote who she daddy shorts? Right, it's difficult to

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Speaker 1: be twenty two and twenty two and you're both attractive

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Speaker 1: and getting attention from all over the place, where all

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Speaker 1: these options and stay committed to each other and give

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Speaker 1: each other space. It's extremely difficult. It was difficult for

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Speaker 1: us to do in the early right. And that was

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Speaker 1: that was before what social media just became a thing.

426
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: It was black planet. You know, Facebook just started, but

427
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 1: there was no Instagram, and it was no quick swiping

428
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 1: and no quick likes, like it didn't happen that fast.

429
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,480
Speaker 1: So what I'm realizing is that once these both these

430
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 1: people get to their thirties, now a young lady is like, yo,

431
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 1: I need to find someone because I want to have

432
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 1: a baby before I turned thirty five. So her first

433
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 1: thing is now she wants to date deliberately. And now

434
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,159
Speaker 1: you're trying to date young men who are in the

435
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 1: early thirties who are like, wait a minute, I finally

436
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,919
Speaker 1: reached my point in the power dynamic. Why have money?

437
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 1: So then it becomes a thing of well, he's immature,

438
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 1: he's in his thirties. Shouldn't you want to do this?

439
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 1: Shouldn't she want to do that? Now you're judging other

440
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: people for the question that they're in in their life exactly,

441
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: just like, are we even equipped to do that necessarily?

442
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 1: That's I mean to be honest, that's that's really what's happening.

443
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: Because we see a lot of thirty a lot of

444
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: our friends who are thirty plus who are like, I'm

445
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: ready to find somebody better, be ready to go. So

446
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 1: now it's two months into dating and it's okay, so

447
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: what are we doing. He's like, whoa, I just got

448
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: to a place of financial security at thirty. You know,

449
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 1: I finally got some money in my four one k

450
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: I finally been able to own a nice apartment. Not

451
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 1: not the apartment that you saw, but but a nice

452
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 1: apartment with a view. I may want to enjoy the

453
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 1: fruits of my labor for a couple of years. And

454
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 1: now she's just like, well, I'm not going to hang

455
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 1: around for it. Now she's jumping from guy to guy

456
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,520
Speaker 1: waiting for someone to say I want to take you on,

457
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: and she starts with her thirties too. But those early

458
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 1: thirties men are like, I'm not ready right now. I

459
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 1: want to spend some time in my thirties enjoying life

460
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: like you enjoyed your life when you were in your twenties,

461
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,239
Speaker 1: going on trips with ball players, going on. Think about it.

462
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 1: Think about all the girls you knew you bowl or

463
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 1: going all to the events, getting flown here and phone here.

464
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 1: Now he's in a place in his early thirties. Well,

465
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,439
Speaker 1: he wants to do some of the flying out. He

466
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 1: wants to get some young girls and have fun. And

467
00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: now the girls in his age bracket are saying, you

468
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 1: acting immature. No, ma, he's doing to the young girls

469
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 1: what you were getting done to you by the older

470
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: gentleman when you were in your twenties, and that vicious

471
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: cycle together though, think about it. The thirties can't get

472
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 1: it together. And all the women are saying the men

473
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,439
Speaker 1: and their thirties and immature. All of the men and

474
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,080
Speaker 1: their thirties are saying, now you just want me to

475
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: do things on your time. Then you become thirty five,

476
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,960
Speaker 1: then you become thirties. Six thirties is a very awkward

477
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 1: place now that I look at it, here's the crazy part, right,

478
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 1: crazy awkward, y'all. We got men right in their late thirties.

479
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 1: Some of my friends saying to me, now you know

480
00:23:56,160 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: this ship is whack. What he's like, yo, man trying

481
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 1: to catch some of the young girls is like trying

482
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: to catch trying to play whack a mole. They just

483
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: be popping up, and did you know you find yourself

484
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: trying to compete with another dude who may got more

485
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 1: money than you in that moment, so you had your

486
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: eyes on this one girl, but now he runs, Oh

487
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: she runs over there, and they're now just saying to me,

488
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 1: like a shallow man, I'm trying to find a real girl.

489
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: So imagine the data scene though you're right, you're walk

490
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 1: into a club where you're walk into an environment and

491
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: then it's just like, okay, so now there's a sizing

492
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: up that must happen. First, Let's see who's doing what,

493
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 1: who may have what? Is it even genuine really interactions

494
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 1: happening at this point or are they happening after we've

495
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: trying to kind of sculped out the scene to see

496
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 1: who may potentially have what. Listening to my single friends,

497
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:44,120
Speaker 1: both male and female, everybody comes in with a calculator

498
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 1: in their mind that they've already sized people up. For example,

499
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 1: one of my boys, right says, he goes into a club,

500
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: he can look at the girls right and be like, okay,

501
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: she looks really young. This is her first time out

502
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: in the streets. She's gonna be looking for the trade songs,

503
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 1: the Drake's, Chris Brown's. She's I'm gonna give for about

504
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,479
Speaker 1: three or four years to get, you know, go through

505
00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: that hot girl some. But then when she about seven,

506
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,159
Speaker 1: she'll be back down to the guys who you know,

507
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: work on Wall Street or may have a good six

508
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: figure job. Once she realized she's not gonna get chose

509
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 1: by the people who she admired the most, that's when

510
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,399
Speaker 1: she'll come back. But then she says, like, then you

511
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 1: have the five year old crowd where you know, let's

512
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 1: go on a date. So then the minute we sit

513
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 1: down and go on a date, some of these women

514
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 1: are like, how much money you got you for one k?

515
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 1: What's your five year plan? How many kids you want

516
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: to have? They want to know how long and how

517
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 1: long do you think you should date someone before you

518
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: get engaged, And they're asking follow up questions that their

519
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: therapist told them they should ask somebody. Okay, so now

520
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: we're having a mini therapy session now because we are

521
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 1: going to therapy and we're aware of what we like

522
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: and we don't like, and we want to know what

523
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 1: we're attracting, so and that the therapizing people. That group

524
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 1: right now is very critical of each other because here's

525
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 1: the reality. When you become thirty five and you're in

526
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 1: a rush to have kids, if you're a young woman,

527
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 1: you can't put everyone else on your timeline because now

528
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 1: you have goals for yourself. You want to get done

529
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 1: before a certain age. You see what I'm saying, it's

530
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,000
Speaker 1: hard to meet someone and say, look, I'm thirty five,

531
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: I'm trying to have a baby by next year, so

532
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 1: what's up? What are we doing? Most men are not

533
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 1: going to respond well to that. You understand what I'm saying.

534
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 1: And if you're a man in thirty five and you're

535
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,239
Speaker 1: trying to date women, you have to be open to

536
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 1: the fact that what she's dealing with is very real.

537
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: A woman at that age doesn't have time to sit

538
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: down and let you figure it out for five to

539
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:42,479
Speaker 1: ten years. It's unfair. So if you're dating deliberately with

540
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,119
Speaker 1: women your age, understand what they're coming to the table

541
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:50,399
Speaker 1: four before you even sit down with this woman and

542
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 1: take her time off. So I'm wondering now if it

543
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: really makes sense. For example, dating apps right, I'm thinking

544
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: about chopping for an outfit, I go to a particular

545
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 1: the website. I know that I want something in a

546
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: certain color family. Am I going to look through the

547
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,919
Speaker 1: entire catalog of dresses? Or am I going to filter

548
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: the search for what exactly is I'm looking forward to

549
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 1: at least narrow it a bit. So with the dating app,

550
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: for example, we have all these different ones out there.

551
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: I don't even know the names of them, because I

552
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: don't I'm not dating, But I know that there are

553
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 1: certain ones that are designed for certain people looking for

554
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: specific things. So, for example, I've heard that there's an

555
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 1: app for people who are i think either separated, newly divorced,

556
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: or going through a divorce. So you can meet people

557
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 1: within that same bubble that you're in and then filter accordingly,

558
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 1: knowing at least I'm starting with someone, Yeah, I'm starting

559
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: with someone who at least is on the same platform

560
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 1: as me for the same reason. So that, to me,

561
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: I think makes the most sense. I think it gets

562
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 1: a little bit hairier when you're like out in public

563
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: at an event or at the club or whatever, and

564
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 1: then it's just like you don't know what's going through

565
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: people's minds. But I can see more and more now

566
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 1: why people are leaning on dating apps and see why

567
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: people enjoy that. We just had a couple of recently

568
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 1: and they met on a dating app. And I didn't

569
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,359
Speaker 1: ask the actual app, but it was just like they

570
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: already had so many things in common that it filtered

571
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: and then here they are. You know what I mean.

572
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 1: But I mean, if you, if you think about that,

573
00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: it makes the most sense. Imagine imagine being a man

574
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: or a woman, and you you go into a bar.

575
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 1: First of all, where do you meet people nowadays? Right?

576
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 1: Like that's the big question. Everyone is working so much.

577
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: Where do you meet people? Is it at church? Is

578
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: it at the bar? Is that family function of the pandemic? Right?

579
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 1: So you meet someone, you don't know how old this

580
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: person is, You don't know what their ideals are you,

581
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: but but you know that you're on a time crunch, right,

582
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: You'd rather have something filtered already, so I know if

583
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: if this person is on my profile, if I matched

584
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: with them, all of these things have already been decided.

585
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 1: We don't have to waste each other's time trying to

586
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: figure that out. That's what it makes the most sense.

587
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 1: The other issue there is you don't know if people

588
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:52,959
Speaker 1: are being honest on these apps. You don't know if

589
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: you're being catfished. There's there's so many different variables. But

590
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: the most important thing is I think we as people

591
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: have to start understanding these dynamics that are happening and

592
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: stop just putting blanket statements on people without understanding where

593
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 1: we are as people. For example, men, I can't deal

594
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: with a woman in her thirties because they just being

595
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: a rush to do everything. You have to understand why, right,

596
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 1: our bodies don't change much. We don't go through periods,

597
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. We don't have phallopian tumbs

598
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,640
Speaker 1: and eggs. There aren't doctors telling us we need to

599
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: have a baby about thirty five or else. Our chances

600
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: are gonna diminish, uh increase greatly. So you have to

601
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: understand what a woman is coming through coming to the

602
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: dating world with if you're looking for that, and I

603
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 1: always say if you're looking for that, because there's also

604
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: a contingent of people out there who are just out

605
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: there to have fun, which is perfectly fine, and you

606
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 1: can't get upset if you're trying to date deliberately and

607
00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: that person just wants to have fun, and you keep

608
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: entertaining that person just wants to have fun and then

609
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 1: being upset because that person doesn't want to date deliberately.

610
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: That's not that person's fault. We've seen that time and

611
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: time again. Oh man, it always starts off cute. Oh,

612
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 1: it's just fun. We're having a good time. That somebody

613
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 1: feelings getting in the way, and the other person is saying,

614
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 1: but I was specific, I was honest, and I said

615
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: what I wanted and I said what I was looking

616
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: for is not this, and then feelings get hurt. And

617
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 1: the thing is it goes both ways. I've seen it

618
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 1: a couple of my friends who are older gentlemen who

619
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: now exists in the space where they're they're part of

620
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 1: the pick right when when people walk in a club

621
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: of walking somewhere, they can tell, oh, he has money,

622
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: Oh he has some sort of power. So now they're

623
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: getting access to different levels of women that they didn't

624
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: get access to before, and they try to choose one.

625
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 1: But these young women are living on a different plane

626
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: right there, and the midsweies. Some of them making money,

627
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 1: some of them aren't. But they're like, yo, I'm trying

628
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 1: to have fun. You are one of four or five

629
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 1: dudes I'm talking to, and some of my boys got

630
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:58,280
Speaker 1: their feelings hurt, like yo, I thought I had and

631
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,720
Speaker 1: she chose to They said, she chose the streets. He

632
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 1: was runner up, and no, no, not even not even no, no, no,

633
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: not even they chose to be with someone else. They

634
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: chose to continue to be alone in themselves so that

635
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,120
Speaker 1: they can enjoy. So he was trying to lock it down.

636
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: She was just like, not so much, because now he's

637
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 1: at the point where it's boring now chasing all these

638
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: young girls. I want to get me a young girl

639
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: that I can settle down with. And sometimes you try

640
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: to find one of these young girls to settle down

641
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 1: with and they're like yeah, shout like that's that's the

642
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: thing that was. Imagine speaking to someone who you went

643
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: to college with, who was younger than you, who is

644
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: thirty five, right, and having them tell you that one

645
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: of the young girls he talks to calls him grandpa.

646
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: And I'm like, dude, I'm older than you, and she

647
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: calls you grandpa. He's like, yeah, I'm grandpa. Because I

648
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: don't be wanting to go from club to club. I

649
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 1: like to stay in one area, and I said, I'm like, yo, damn,

650
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 1: your age showing itself and I'm like, what what age

651
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: are you trying? What girls age? He said? His rule is,

652
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: His rule is he doesn't go for a girl that

653
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 1: would still be in grad school, so she has to

654
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: at least be twenty three. The Jordan year is the

655
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: is the year. It has to start there to at

656
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: least three. So he's like, right now is too freshly legal?

657
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 1: He said, he won't even look at a girl. He

658
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 1: says she has to at least be twenty three and

659
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:31,480
Speaker 1: not the potential to be her daughter or god daughter.

660
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 1: I'm sure, yeah, like no, no, it's just just no,

661
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 1: it's just she has to be twenty three, he says.

662
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 1: Right now, he's going between twenty three and twenty eight.

663
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 1: He's giving it a five year span because that's enough

664
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 1: time to at least have some experience, but not long

665
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: enough to be jaded by the world that you just

666
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: hate every man that comes in front of you next.

667
00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 1: But he's okay with just being used for meals and

668
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 1: a good time too, because so it's ironically, is he

669
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 1: just enjoying the company at this point? Well, ironically, he

670
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: said he has a budget. He's like, this is my

671
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: tricking leg that he said, because I get stuff out

672
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 1: of it too. She wanted meal, I want to smash,

673
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: So she get a meal. I get to smash. And

674
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,400
Speaker 1: for the first couple of years it was fun until

675
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 1: it became monotonous, like it's the same thing. It's like

676
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 1: he's been with a lot of women, a lot of

677
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: different type of women. He's just like, there's nothing more.

678
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: He's like, He's like, he gets to a point. Now

679
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: he meets a woman within five minutes, he knows exactly

680
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: where it's going to go. But he got his he

681
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: got his feelings hurt because he thought that once he

682
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 1: was able to provide a certain lifestyle that women say

683
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: they want, once he presented that opportunity to a young lady,

684
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 1: she would automatically be like yes. And then he asked

685
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,280
Speaker 1: a young lady like, yo, you're trying to go exclusive

686
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 1: and she was just like, no, not really, I'm having

687
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 1: too much fun. And I was just like yo. She

688
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: taught dating someone else who was a little bit more.

689
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: He's like, bro, she's just wants to be out there.

690
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 1: She makes her own money, she's attractive, she gets attention

691
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: from all different types of guys and she doesn't want

692
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: to be and he's like, you got He's like, I

693
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: got my feelings her because I actually really liked her.

694
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 1: But here's my question for you. What happens when that

695
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: young lady is enjoying her time and become stun where

696
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: this is going becomes thirty now right, and now she's

697
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: starting like, you know what, I had my fun right now,

698
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: I want to meet somebody. And she goes to another

699
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 1: thirty old man and he's just like, wait a minute, now,

700
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: I want to have my fun because grandpa, you think

701
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,720
Speaker 1: she should go back to call the grandpa called Grandpa

702
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: backs this. Maybe he might still be available. You never know,

703
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: because at that point, what is she gonna do? Now?

704
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: Try to force the guy that's within her age range.

705
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 1: Now what's happening out here to settle down. That's the

706
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: sure as five way to not be with somebody and

707
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 1: find yourself crazy crazy. All she want to do is

708
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: lot me down or now, but you know, no, I

709
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: give it. Then it becomes a thing of desperation. It's like, okay,

710
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: get happening. Both sides. Both sides are playing playing a

711
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: very dangerous game that could end up in loneliness because

712
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 1: they're trying to put you know, they're trying to find

713
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 1: happiness in this fleeting, this fleeting feeling of happiness in

714
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: the streets, in the streets, and this is what I think.

715
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 1: I think you should have a hot girl somewhere too.

716
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: But when you prolong the hot girl summer and think

717
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: that that life is going to wait for you to

718
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: be ready, that's when you find yourself in a predicament.

719
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 1: And it's not only for women woman too, but it

720
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,439
Speaker 1: does happen more to women because once you get past

721
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:35,280
Speaker 1: certain age and you you're worried about trying to have children, desire,

722
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: and I think that's ultimately what it's. It's it's sent

723
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 1: you around. Yeah, so that biological clock thing is actually

724
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,879
Speaker 1: a very very it's very real. It's very very real. Yeah,

725
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: it's We have some stats and facts here, and this

726
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: one is kind of a little bit different and kind

727
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,359
Speaker 1: of switches gears with the conversation a bit um, but

728
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: it is UM from the Institute for Family Studies Nicholas

729
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 1: Wolfinger Um he's a sociologist at the University of Utah,

730
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 1: found that Americans who have only ever slept with their

731
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: spouses are most likely to report being in a very

732
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: happy marriage. So that if you've only had that one partner,

733
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's many people in life left.

734
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: I'm about to say, when when were these folks at

735
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 1: the lowest odds of marital happiness about points lower than

736
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 1: the ones that one partner woman belong to the women

737
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: who have had sex with six to ten sexual partners

738
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 1: in their lives. For men, they're still a dip and

739
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 1: marital satisfaction after one partner, but it's never as low

740
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,399
Speaker 1: as it gets for women. So if you out there

741
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 1: haven't too many hot girls somes this bro, But is

742
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 1: it because there's more to compare to? That's now? Now?

743
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 1: Do you sort of mean that I sent you with

744
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: the story telling? The woman was telling the story about

745
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: on every floor there was there was a man. Right,

746
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: So there's a department store when you can get a

747
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: husband on first floor, you find a husband who's financially stable, right,

748
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,359
Speaker 1: And every time you go up in floors you get

749
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 1: something new. But if you decide that you don't want

750
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: what's new, you can't go back down. M hm. So

751
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,359
Speaker 1: there was five floors, No, no, you're not losing something

752
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,479
Speaker 1: SAPs on the first floor, she meets a man who's

753
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 1: financially stable. Right, so she says, this is great, but

754
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 1: I want to see what's on the next floor. On

755
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: the second floor, she gets a man that's financially stable

756
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: and he's romantic. He's like and romantic. I just gotta

757
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: see what's on the third floor. On the third floor,

758
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:39,800
Speaker 1: she gets a man who's financially stable, romantic, and god fearing. Wow. Okay,

759
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 1: so that he has everything, but I gotta see what's

760
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: on the fourth floor. Gets to the fourth floor as

761
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: a man who's financially stable, god fearing, um, supporter of

762
00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: his wife, and loves kids. So it's like, this man

763
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,760
Speaker 1: has everything, but I gotta see what's on the fifth floor.

764
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: They get to the fifth floor and there's three billion

765
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: women and the sign that says this floor proves that

766
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 1: no matter how good of a man you are, a

767
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: woman is never satisfied. And there was a woman telling

768
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: this to a groupful of women. They were all laughing,

769
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 1: but they were all shaking their heads because no matter

770
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: what in life, they're always going to be looking for

771
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 1: the next best. But is that man or woman? I

772
00:38:20,280 --> 00:38:23,320
Speaker 1: think that's anybody know. I don't think men are necessarily

773
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,439
Speaker 1: quick to just say, yeah, I'm satisfied because she looks good,

774
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 1: she can cook, she can clean, she has a job.

775
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 1: I think you can't can else. I don't. I don't

776
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 1: think you can put a generalization over all people ever.

777
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: But there's always truth in jest. And when people talk

778
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: about the nagging wife who's always complaining and the husband

779
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: who's always trying to work hard to make sure that

780
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 1: their wife is happy, but he never finds way to

781
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 1: make her happy, there has to be some truth in

782
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 1: that for it to be a running joke. You know

783
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, because you hear so many women saying

784
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: my mom was my husband simple? All he wanted to

785
00:38:58,560 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 1: do is this all the time? I don't need it,

786
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like, think about our parents,

787
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: Think about your mom and dad, Think about my mom

788
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 1: and dad. Right, my father be chilling, your pos be chilling. Right,

789
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: Your mom always wants what more, bigger, grander. My mom

790
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: want to go places, want to try, but want to

791
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 1: do this. Your fathers want to sit there. There has

792
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 1: to be some truth in the fact that it's very

793
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 1: difficult to please. Because on the converse side of things,

794
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: if you ask our dads, They've tried this, they've tried that,

795
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:25,799
Speaker 1: you've done that, and she still ain't happy. So I

796
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 1: clocked out. Ask a woman what she want to eat?

797
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: Can we go to the restaurant? It takes you forever

798
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 1: to pick something me while I go in there and

799
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,479
Speaker 1: what I know what I want. I'm gonna get that boom.

800
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,839
Speaker 1: That's the same thing I got last time. I'm good

801
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 1: with that boom, But you like you get the same

802
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,879
Speaker 1: thing all the time, lady, because I like it as

803
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to like what I like. But you

804
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 1: don't try anything now. But in my defense, I'll be like,

805
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: how about I get this, you get that and we share. Okay,

806
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 1: that works. But there's also us going shopping and I

807
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: know exactly what I want and I go in and

808
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: get it. Baby, I need options. Only expect me to

809
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 1: walk into one store and pick up the first thing

810
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: I've seen and be done with it. No, no, Now,

811
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 1: we're gonna shop on every rack, every possibility. I might

812
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 1: buy the whole store. I might return half of it,

813
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:16,799
Speaker 1: but at least I had. But I'm not saying that

814
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 1: it's active for everyone because I hate generalizations. But I mean,

815
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: there has to be something to the fact that women

816
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,040
Speaker 1: are a lot more difficult to please because women like options.

817
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 1: Women want to see. So if you have a woman

818
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 1: who's been with six to ten men and she's constantly

819
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 1: comparing one to another. How many times have we had

820
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 1: friends who wives have said to their husband's, how come

821
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,959
Speaker 1: you don't act like mom? It's very rare. We've heard

822
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 1: a man say that to their wife. Have to think

823
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 1: about it, but we've heard that. We've heard the former

824
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 1: a lot. So as a woman, you can tell me

825
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: maybe if you have more partners, maybe it's more difficult

826
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 1: for you to figure out what you like because you've

827
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 1: experienced more. Maybe that's the problem. I don't know, because

828
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,799
Speaker 1: I'm not a woman, you know what I'm saying. I

829
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: think that might be part of it. I think for

830
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: anybody though, because men to what you think about it?

831
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: For example, Well now I'm just saying, for example, think

832
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,239
Speaker 1: about for a man, you are sleeping with a bunch

833
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: of different women, right you finally settle down, you marry

834
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:16,240
Speaker 1: your wife. Do you have an instance where you think, damn,

835
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 1: my wife is great, but she ain't doing it like

836
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: such and such did it? Or then you then you

837
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 1: rank women in terms of like who did this? Because

838
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: women do it all the time. Absolutely, you know what

839
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I'll be very honest in my little group

840
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: chats and stuff like that. It's just like, yeah, you know,

841
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 1: this one was good for that. This one was good

842
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: for the pickup and the drop down and the wrestling moves.

843
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:38,880
Speaker 1: He was good at giving head like there was. People

844
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 1: are good for different things. So is it just that

845
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,879
Speaker 1: you have more people to compare it to and that

846
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,880
Speaker 1: creates the unhappiness because it's a longing for something that

847
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 1: your spouse may not be doing. I think it comes

848
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: down to settling, right. If you choose to settle down

849
00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:56,800
Speaker 1: with someone that doesn't meet your standard, you can't blame

850
00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 1: that person. You settled your dumbass down. Nobody forced you

851
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: to settle down, right. So, if you have standards for yourself,

852
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 1: and this is just this is really not even about

853
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,759
Speaker 1: this topic, but this is about life in general. If

854
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: you have standards that you have for yourself that you say,

855
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: I want these things out of life. I want my

856
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 1: partner to have these things. But then you decide to

857
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,800
Speaker 1: settle for someone who hasn't met your standards for whatever reason.

858
00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: May it could be biological clock, it could be finances,

859
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: it could be time, it could be society. You now

860
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 1: have to deal with the fact that that person doesn't

861
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: meet your standards. You can't blame that person for not

862
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,359
Speaker 1: meeting with your standard, you know what I'm saying. So

863
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:36,280
Speaker 1: my thing is, if you have a bunch of options

864
00:42:36,320 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: and you have things to choose from, it's in your

865
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 1: best interests to either tell the person you want to

866
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,399
Speaker 1: spend the rest of your life with that these are

867
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 1: all of the things that I like. Can you meet

868
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: me here or say I'm sorry. I have to find

869
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 1: someone who is willing to do all of these things.

870
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 1: And that's where you and I have done. We sat

871
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 1: down and said these are all the things that I want,

872
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 1: right and we've asked each other what do you need?

873
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: And I've said, okay, if these are things you need,

874
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,279
Speaker 1: I'm going to work my tail off to provide that

875
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,360
Speaker 1: so that I can be everything that you need in

876
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 1: a husband. And you've done the same thing for me.

877
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: But it only works when you have that honest conversation

878
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,800
Speaker 1: about this is what I need. See those conversations that

879
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 1: happen before the marriage. Because we heard of a situation

880
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: recently where someone was very upset because their wife, who's

881
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 1: now a rest a new wife, pretty much says she's

882
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: not giving head anymore because that's not what wives do, Like,

883
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 1: that's not within the domain or the scope of what

884
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 1: she deems necessary for a wife to do for her husband.

885
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 1: And it was kind of just like, oh, my gods

886
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: clutching the pearls in their edges, because isn't that the

887
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: point where you're supposed to turn that ship up for

888
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,040
Speaker 1: your husband or not? You know what I'm saying. And

889
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 1: it's just like, I'm sure if this conversation was had beforehand,

890
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 1: there would have been a lot more to think about.

891
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,920
Speaker 1: Thank you. See, I was I was going to say

892
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 1: what you just said. There is no because you're a

893
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 1: wife you have to give head, or because you're a

894
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,560
Speaker 1: wife you don't. You didn't have to give head. The

895
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 1: conversation is as a wife, this is what I prefer

896
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 1: to do. As a husband, What do you need? And

897
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 1: if my needs match your wants, then we're good. And

898
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: then I get to say, you know, at this point, well, okay,

899
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,080
Speaker 1: you don't want to give head. I like head, this

900
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: ain't gonna work. But if we get married under the

901
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 1: pretense that you're gonna be giving me head. No one

902
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,839
Speaker 1: I like head, And after we get married, you say, no,

903
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: that's deceitful. You know what I'm saying, that's messed up.

904
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: Though you knew I couldn't even I couldn't even co

905
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,520
Speaker 1: sign on that when I'm sorry one thing, No, you

906
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 1: don't because you're great the sloppy. But what I what

907
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:40,720
Speaker 1: I'm saying is we also have to stop putting generalizations

908
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 1: on our own marriage, meaning that everyone else says this

909
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: is what I should need, Well, this is what I

910
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,879
Speaker 1: should want, So I'm gonna I'm gonna want and need that.

911
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 1: If you don't want or need that, don't require your

912
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: partner to provide that because they're not providing you anything

913
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 1: that you want or need. That's busy work. You know

914
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 1: what I'm saying that it's busy work. Well we have

915
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,640
Speaker 1: to start doing is saying, listen, these are my wants

916
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:08,000
Speaker 1: and needs. Anything you want to provide with my wants

917
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 1: and needs and more, that's on you. But this is

918
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: what I want to need. If you can't provide me that,

919
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 1: let's make a decision to not be together. You know

920
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, as opposed to saying, well, according to

921
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 1: men in this book, You're supposed to be giving me

922
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: head twice a week. That never works. What if you

923
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 1: what if you're a guy you don't like he don't

924
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: know many guys who don't like her. But what if

925
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:28,280
Speaker 1: you're a guy who don't like that and your wife

926
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 1: is trying to do something for you because she read

927
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,359
Speaker 1: somewhere that all of these other men like this. Well

928
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 1: that's what I was one into a homegirl. I was like,

929
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 1: did she is that something that she read somewhere that said, like,

930
00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to do that. Wives don't do that anymore?

931
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: Or is that something that she just developed? Because now

932
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen is that I'm sure that the story

933
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 1: will be. Can you believe that we kind of divorce

934
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 1: because I won't give head everything else I do for him,

935
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,319
Speaker 1: everything else that we had our entire life, And that's

936
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 1: the reason why our marriage didn't work because I refused

937
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 1: to do that. That's that one thing, that's exactly what

938
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: that's probably that's what the story is gonna be. And

939
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: everyone's gonna say that he's what shallow, shallow and selfish? Shallow? Yikes? Crazy? Um,

940
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, So that that just was interesting because I

941
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: always wondered that, like, is it the thing where people

942
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: who have had prior sexual partners to their spouse, particularly

943
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: those who are having the hot girl summers in the

944
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 1: hook Dad? And you can compare and rank and you know,

945
00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 1: put that little flow chart together of who did what better?

946
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 1: Does that also to become an issue because you're comparing,

947
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 1: you know, the scenario that you've had in the past

948
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 1: to what you're in now. Look, I'm I'm always one

949
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 1: for good for healthy competition. I don't mind. I don't

950
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,359
Speaker 1: mind competing. I'm competing in everything in my life. So

951
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 1: for me, I think competition brings the best out of people. Right,

952
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 1: that that pressure to perform because you're you're uncomfortable is

953
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 1: what makes you great. Right, And I know that sounds

954
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 1: like a sports analogy, but that really is an analogy

955
00:46:56,480 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 1: for all aspects of life. Right when you partner and

956
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: think about this, young ladies and young men, right, how

957
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 1: often do we take our partners for granted until someone

958
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: else starts showing interest in that same partner that you're

959
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:14,280
Speaker 1: taking for granted. Think about it starts as earlier junior

960
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 1: high school? Right? Early is junior high school? You like

961
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 1: this girl? Right? You like this girl, you know, you

962
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: don't know how to approach or whatever that uh, you

963
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: notice someone else taking a liking too that girl. Now

964
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: it's like I gotta say something because I can't let

965
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 1: him talk to her. That that's been happening since junior high.

966
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 1: This is my fish fisher in the sea, this is

967
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 1: my fish. Or you got a young lady and she's

968
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 1: been your girlfriend and you've been taking up for granted

969
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: because someone else is paying attention to you. So now

970
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 1: you're starting to you know, I like her, but this

971
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,839
Speaker 1: other girl right here and she's okay, she's okay. So

972
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:52,240
Speaker 1: now you're starting to look at this other lady until

973
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: you notice that there's a guy paying attention to the

974
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,800
Speaker 1: girl that you're with right now. Then it's like what

975
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 1: you want? You want her? Why? What is it about

976
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 1: her that you want? Maybe I have something that I

977
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,880
Speaker 1: don't realize I have and it took someone else paying attention.

978
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 1: That's why I believe that healthy competition is good. I

979
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 1: believe that it's healthy for a relationship as long as

980
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:15,839
Speaker 1: both people are committed to being of service to each other.

981
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 1: That don't mean that you just always look for someone

982
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: else to take your attention away. But it's life. We

983
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 1: don't owe each other nothing. There's nothing that stamped from

984
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,840
Speaker 1: the beginning of time and said Codeine belongs to devout

985
00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 1: and Devot shouldn't have to do anything to earn Codeine's love.

986
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: There's nothing that says that, and vice versa. Know what

987
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I get that, I agree with that. Or

988
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: what about the scenario of the woman that's just like

989
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 1: or the couple it could be man or a woman

990
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 1: that's together for a long time, whatever whatever, And then

991
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,719
Speaker 1: you know, this one starts to fall off a little bit.

992
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 1: You know, you're not keeping yourself up me and not

993
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,399
Speaker 1: keeping myself up me. But you hear that, and then

994
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: it becomes they break up. Then you see either homeboy

995
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 1: or her and girl and gym hard trying to get

996
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: back you can, trying to get back in shape because

997
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 1: why we're not together anymore. You see somebody looking at

998
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 1: your X or you might be on a break or

999
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 1: whatever the situation is. It's like, damn, let me, let

1000
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 1: me get in the gym real hard to get back

1001
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 1: so he could see what he's missing. I never happened that.

1002
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 1: I'm not. That happened too. And it's just like damn bro,

1003
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 1: damn sis. If you were trying to keep yourself together

1004
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:23,919
Speaker 1: beforehand while you were with your person, wouldn't be over there.

1005
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 1: If you put the same energy into your appearance while

1006
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 1: you're with someone as you do during a hot girl

1007
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 1: someone or who you daddy summer, your relationship will thrive

1008
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: at least at that level. Right Because people tend to

1009
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: say it's ok to let yourself go you fell in love.

1010
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 1: No it's not. And for the reason you said, it's

1011
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 1: just the reason why why somebody got to break up too.

1012
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,919
Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna be the best version of myself. Why

1013
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 1: wouldn't you want to be the best version of yourself

1014
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 1: for the person that you chose to spend the rest

1015
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 1: of your life with. To me, they say it's shallow

1016
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 1: to be on someone about their parents. I think it's

1017
00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 1: extremely lazy and self is for you to feel like, well,

1018
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,839
Speaker 1: now that I found my person, I'm gonna just let

1019
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 1: myself go and give them less than the best version

1020
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: of myself. Think about how selfish that is. Oh, you

1021
00:50:11,560 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 1: love me, fine, Now that you love me and you've

1022
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: proclaimed your love for me, I'm gonna give you less

1023
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:21,240
Speaker 1: than what I can give because I'll give strangers my best.

1024
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 1: I give them my best, but you proclaimed your love

1025
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 1: for me, so now I'm gonna give you less than

1026
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 1: my best. That doesn't make any sense because you just

1027
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 1: should be used to it and love me for who

1028
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 1: I am. I'm sorry, don't make sense to me unless

1029
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:34,760
Speaker 1: you have a health Unless you have a health issue

1030
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 1: and you can't keep yourself up, which most of the

1031
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 1: time your partner understands. But if you're just being lazy,

1032
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,360
Speaker 1: you're pushing your partner to a hoochie daddy someone or

1033
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 1: a hot girl someone. If you're doing I mean, well,

1034
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 1: you know, for us married folks, I feel like we

1035
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: can exist within our marriage and be hoochie daddy's and

1036
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: hot girls for each other. I mean, hey, hell do

1037
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 1: you think listen? I feel like that's how we've existed,

1038
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 1: can exist happily for the past because I don't I

1039
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 1: don't mind, I don't, I don't mind going out. And

1040
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 1: you got on your hoochie mama shorts, you got your

1041
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 1: stomach out, you got the girls out, a little cyboo about,

1042
00:51:13,520 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 1: and I'm right there on your arm because I like

1043
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,440
Speaker 1: to look at it, you know what I'm saying. It's

1044
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 1: also not fair for me as a man right to

1045
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: say I go out in the summertime and I look

1046
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 1: at all these girls dressed a certain way and then

1047
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:29,879
Speaker 1: not give you that same attention that I give them.

1048
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying, Because that's unfair. It's unfair

1049
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 1: to say to your your woman. And this is me

1050
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,200
Speaker 1: speaking to men in general, right, because there are a

1051
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: lot of controlling men and be like, you're my woman,

1052
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 1: You're gonna dress like this, You're gonna do like this, right,

1053
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: But then you go out and give attention to men

1054
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 1: who are women who are dressed like the way you

1055
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 1: don't want your wife to dress. How was that fair

1056
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 1: at all? So, no, you want to dress like that?

1057
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,720
Speaker 1: I like to look at that. Let's go out together.

1058
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put on some hoochie daddy shorts. You're gonna

1059
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 1: with them tight shorts in them here as you got.

1060
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna go out together and love on each other

1061
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:01,160
Speaker 1: and let people experience what this together. I don't put

1062
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,360
Speaker 1: no ageent how I'm supposed to be dressing, because listen,

1063
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 1: as long as I am put together, baby, I will

1064
00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: be wearing my shorts. I'll be in my bo to

1065
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 1: ride as all day. You can get a little underboots,

1066
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 1: a little cy boob, a little cheek, get a little

1067
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:19,839
Speaker 1: nipple action through the through the short. Okay again because

1068
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: because as you when you brushed past me though, That's

1069
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,160
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But as you got older, as you

1070
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 1: got older, let me tell you something funny. Right when

1071
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: we was in college, even college once he was playing

1072
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 1: both Coadine never wore bras. Right, we'll be out. We're

1073
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 1: hugging and kissing, nipples getting hard, like she's looking at me.

1074
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: I'm looking at her now. We got kids and stuff.

1075
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 1: Right now, she getting dressed and stuff like that. Put

1076
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,400
Speaker 1: a bra. I'm like, she's just like, she's like, I

1077
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:51,160
Speaker 1: can't the nipples be acting. There's their own entity, especially

1078
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 1: after breastfeeding four boys. They don't know whatever they want

1079
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 1: to they feel like doing. Let me explain something to

1080
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,719
Speaker 1: so listen. Your nipples be looking for me. Okay. Let

1081
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 1: makes playing to y'all something women. Okay, once a man

1082
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 1: has given you four kids, like them, nipples know exactly

1083
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:07,960
Speaker 1: where I am. I could be on another side of

1084
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 1: the room and I just start going. The nipples are

1085
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 1: gonna get hard and start pointing in the direction that

1086
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:20,239
Speaker 1: I'm in and that's letting her no, letting her know

1087
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:24,320
Speaker 1: that way. I think the consensus is after you the breastfest,

1088
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,360
Speaker 1: some kids, these nipples be doing whatever they want. You

1089
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:29,400
Speaker 1: don't know, deificantly bigger than they were before you purposely

1090
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 1: like now a constant remind you're welcome. You're welcome, okay.

1091
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 1: You don't know your titties better than I know your titties.

1092
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 1: Stop acting like you do. How often you talk to

1093
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,759
Speaker 1: your titties? Never? I talk to them all the time.

1094
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 1: You'll be sleep ill talking to we have. We have

1095
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: a very good relationship, alright. I believe you remember when

1096
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,120
Speaker 1: you who used to massage them with lotion them up

1097
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: so you didn't get stretched marks? Who did that? I did?

1098
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,239
Speaker 1: You didn't care know about your titties, right. I do

1099
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:01,840
Speaker 1: appreciate you. I appreciate and you you guys are welcome

1100
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:05,360
Speaker 1: to okay because you made it through four pregnancies and births,

1101
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:08,359
Speaker 1: all right. Yeah, and you're doing fine for yourself months

1102
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 1: of nursing. So yes, I appreciate you, Thank you. But yeah,

1103
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,439
Speaker 1: I'm happy that we can exist as a hot girl

1104
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:18,400
Speaker 1: and the Hucci daddy because I'm shorts be shorten you

1105
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 1: like I've been doing a lot more squats in the

1106
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 1: gym because I want to get than to get a

1107
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 1: little bit of I'm gonna be working on my legs too,

1108
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 1: because my legs became mushed after these kids. So I mean,

1109
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 1: that's that's both of us. We got a little We

1110
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 1: got a little bit. But I was talking to this

1111
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:38,839
Speaker 1: about with my boy uh black right, because he was saying,

1112
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 1: like the Hucci Daddy shorts is just too short now,

1113
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,880
Speaker 1: And I was like, did you ever watch our parents?

1114
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:49,760
Speaker 1: My father used to wear shorts. They were like boxing,

1115
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,760
Speaker 1: but they used to look like it was mad hot Broye.

1116
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,960
Speaker 1: It's like repeating itself. Think about it. They wore bell

1117
00:54:57,280 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 1: I was about to say, you wore parachuto jeans. They

1118
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 1: wore hot pants. Men were wearing hot pants. I mean,

1119
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,680
Speaker 1: I guess that's the skinny jeans now, that's what I'm saying.

1120
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 1: Then they were wearing hot shorts. But the best part

1121
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 1: about it is when they look at the generation now

1122
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 1: and be like, what's that? Exactly what are they doing?

1123
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:17,400
Speaker 1: And they were doing the same ship. I'll still be

1124
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 1: a old lady all day. I can call me that

1125
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 1: all you want, but I will never get into the

1126
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:24,879
Speaker 1: lace fronts with the baby hair joints that come down

1127
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 1: to the front on the forehead like this, they look

1128
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 1: like a mustache that comes down and start keep that.

1129
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 1: I don't care how old I am. You can say

1130
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 1: you because because you oh, it's because you push your

1131
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 1: forty yes, and that ship looks terrible and they all

1132
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 1: do with it. Lacefront joint with the freaking looking the

1133
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:46,719
Speaker 1: mustache looking baby, here's tell them stop cut too with

1134
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:53,720
Speaker 1: a lace front and baby because you have yo, please

1135
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 1: keep this, please keep, please keep this right when we

1136
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 1: go and into something and KaDee got that same here style.

1137
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,920
Speaker 1: Because I'll be the first to tell y'all will never

1138
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:09,239
Speaker 1: catch me with the baby here joints that They're not

1139
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,239
Speaker 1: gonna do that. And you may catch me a little

1140
00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 1: fashion shoot with a little swirl, a little laid down situation,

1141
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,960
Speaker 1: but you will never catch me with the late front

1142
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: joint with the mustache. Baby. Here's how you lying. I'm

1143
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,920
Speaker 1: gonna tell you how you lying right now. Tell me.

1144
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:29,720
Speaker 1: Two thousand and eight, two thousand and eight, Little Wayne

1145
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: did a video where he had on skinny jeans right

1146
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 1: and Codeine said to me, devout, if you ever in

1147
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 1: your life put on skinny jeans. It's over between us.

1148
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,120
Speaker 1: Yes you did. You said that, and my brother co

1149
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 1: signed it. Brian Co signed it, Brian Frown. You never

1150
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 1: wear no skinny jeans. Cut too now jeans like he's

1151
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:51,719
Speaker 1: a little too baggy, babe. I like this a little

1152
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:53,760
Speaker 1: bit more tight. I like this little. I'm like, wow,

1153
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:55,880
Speaker 1: you want me to put on skinny jeans just like

1154
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 1: it depends. It depends on the type of skinny jeans.

1155
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:01,279
Speaker 1: And if I'm lying, you don't mind me in the

1156
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: skinny gene. Now, I don't mind you to excuse you.

1157
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm talking about me and the fucking mustache, baby ears.

1158
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 1: I am not doing the mustache baby here. I'll give

1159
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:13,800
Speaker 1: you that period, that period. Let's keep this footage period,

1160
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:17,920
Speaker 1: keep it. Bring up your receipts. Speaking of receipts, we

1161
00:57:17,960 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 1: got bills to pay. I think we should take a

1162
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 1: quick break and we're gonna come back with listener letters. Yeah, alright, guys,

1163
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 1: we're back back with listener letters. Let's see what you

1164
00:57:37,880 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 1: got to talk about this week. Well, this first one

1165
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:47,320
Speaker 1: is extra long, all right? You want to read just one?

1166
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:50,560
Speaker 1: You want me to go for it? So I just

1167
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 1: want to say I love your podcast and your dynamic.

1168
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:57,320
Speaker 1: You're so authentic. I appreciate that about you. Guys appreciate you.

1169
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,640
Speaker 1: So after listening to the get It Right, Get It

1170
00:57:59,680 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 1: Tight episode, I have concerns. My partner thirty one and nine,

1171
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 1: have been together for six months and he's pretty much

1172
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,760
Speaker 1: ideal for me. However, he does not work out and

1173
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: lives a sedentary lifestyle. He's a bigger guy, which I

1174
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 1: have no issues with, but I would have an issue

1175
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 1: if he continues to grow in size. On the other hand,

1176
00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm into fitness and I've been working out for years.

1177
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 1: I've always been into sports at a young age and

1178
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 1: have played some sports at a collegiate level, so I'm

1179
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 1: really it's really second nature for me. I mean the

1180
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 1: gym three or four times a week, and I eat

1181
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 1: moderately healthy. I've figured out that what works best for me,

1182
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:37,479
Speaker 1: and I've been maintaining that for years. At one point,

1183
00:58:37,520 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: my man was three hundred plus pounds before we met

1184
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 1: and decided to change his lifestyle and lost a hundred

1185
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 1: plus pounds with dining and weightlifting. However, once he lost

1186
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 1: the weight, he stopped living that life. I have a

1187
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 1: three year old. I have a three year old with

1188
00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 1: the busy schedule and oftentimes I have to choose between

1189
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 1: the gym or spending time with my man. He mentioned

1190
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:58,959
Speaker 1: that he wants to start going back to the gym,

1191
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 1: and I've invited him to go with me frequently, which

1192
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 1: she's declined, so I stopped asking. It's been eight months

1193
00:59:04,840 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: and I haven't seen him exercise once, and some of

1194
00:59:08,200 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 1: his bad eating habits and lifestyles are rubbing off on me.

1195
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 1: She put the sad face in their child no Accountability partner.

1196
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,600
Speaker 1: I'm concerned that he'll gain more weight and eventually have

1197
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 1: health issues. Not working out is a big deal breaker

1198
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:24,480
Speaker 1: for me. I know he's he, I know he's I

1199
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 1: know he's capable. However, I also don't want to put

1200
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 1: pressure on him or give him an ultimatum because I

1201
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 1: don't want him to think that I'm not attracted to him.

1202
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 1: I feel like this might be my person, and we

1203
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 1: talk about marriage and longevity. However, I know for a

1204
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 1: fact that I won't invest or spend my life with

1205
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 1: someone who does not halfway prioritize their health. He doesn't

1206
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 1: know I feel the strongly about this, or that I'm

1207
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:48,360
Speaker 1: waiting on him. Why won't he go to the gym

1208
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: with me, but expresses that he wants to go. Should

1209
00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 1: I tell him my concerns to convey a sense of urgency? Yes?

1210
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 1: How do I express these concerns without my partner feeling

1211
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 1: self conscious or a shame? How long it's too long

1212
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 1: to wait for a change. I don't know what to do.

1213
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 1: Please let me know what you guys think. All, Okay,

1214
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,439
Speaker 1: there's a couple of red flags here. First of all,

1215
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:13,360
Speaker 1: when she said that, um, she's attracted to him, but

1216
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:16,000
Speaker 1: she doesn't want to tell him that. She doesn't want

1217
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 1: him to continue to gain more weight because she doesn't

1218
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,480
Speaker 1: want him to think that she will be unattractive to him,

1219
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:24,280
Speaker 1: but she will be unattracted to him. So you can't

1220
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 1: not want to say something to your partner because you

1221
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 1: don't want them to feel or think that you're unattractive attracted?

1222
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like that to me is

1223
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:37,959
Speaker 1: the recipe for disaster, because that's what most relationships carry on.

1224
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to say anything to my

1225
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 1: partner about this because it hurt my feelings, because I

1226
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 1: don't want them to think that they hurt my feelings.

1227
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:47,880
Speaker 1: But your feelings are hurt you have to let your

1228
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 1: partner know, open, honestly and in real time, how you

1229
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 1: feel about things, your truth. If whether it hurts your

1230
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 1: partner or not, it's still your truth and you have

1231
01:00:57,600 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 1: to live in your truth or you're going to have

1232
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 1: resentment towards yourself and ultimately your partner. That's that's the

1233
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 1: first thing, the red flag. The second red flag here,

1234
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 1: Codeine and I talk about health and fitness all the time,

1235
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: and people often equated to being vain or just looks Codeine.

1236
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 1: I say this to Condin all the time, and Codine

1237
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 1: stop me if I'm lying. I say, Codeine, you and

1238
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: I are in this thing called life together. We have

1239
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: a responsibility to be here for each other health wise

1240
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,600
Speaker 1: as long as we can. If you choose to live

1241
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 1: a lifestyle that is not conducive with us being healthy, healthy,

1242
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,160
Speaker 1: it's not fair to me and it's not fair to

1243
01:01:35,200 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 1: your children. It does have something to do with being vain.

1244
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 1: But I want my wife to be healthy. When you've

1245
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 1: lived through someone going through postpartum pre clampsion and her

1246
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 1: blood pressure being high and realizing that health, healthy eating, exercising,

1247
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:53,600
Speaker 1: and and sleep can help, that that becomes more important

1248
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,840
Speaker 1: than what she looks like like a lot of our

1249
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: conversations really have nothing to do with the scale. I

1250
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 1: don't I don't weigh my wife. I don't measure her waist.

1251
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 1: A lot of it is, yo, did you did you

1252
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 1: work out today? You were supposed to walk for twenty minutes?

1253
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:07,440
Speaker 1: You didn't. What does that mean for your heart? Right?

1254
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:08,800
Speaker 1: That's kind of like the rule that I think we've

1255
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:12,240
Speaker 1: adopted as this household, even my father, my father who

1256
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:13,880
Speaker 1: is also getting up there in age, my mother, my

1257
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:16,520
Speaker 1: mom plays tennis three times a week. My father, who

1258
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 1: also too, all his life was just a very sedentary lifestyle.

1259
01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 1: I mean, he did work on his feet, and he

1260
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:26,120
Speaker 1: worked in the hospital for years. But twenty minutes a day, anybody,

1261
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 1: everybody should be doing at least that much, and not

1262
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. Being like I walked to the car, that's

1263
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:35,960
Speaker 1: thirty seconds. Then I walked around target that's another ten second.

1264
01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 1: You know, you have to actually do consistent walk twenty

1265
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 1: minutes a day just for heart health, and consistent part

1266
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 1: your heart should be, depending on your age, anywhere between

1267
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 1: a hundred and twenty to a hundred and forty beats

1268
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:47,800
Speaker 1: per minute. The older you get, of course, you wanted

1269
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:49,919
Speaker 1: to be lower. Depending on how often you work out.

1270
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 1: But if you speak to my mother in law who

1271
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:55,440
Speaker 1: lives with us, Mimi, how often I asked her if

1272
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 1: she worked out today? It's every day, And you know,

1273
01:02:57,760 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 1: I'm not worried about what my mother in law looks

1274
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 1: like acts my father in law if I asked him,

1275
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 1: if you walk today? I asked my mom and dad

1276
01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:05,000
Speaker 1: if I don't call them and get on their ass

1277
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 1: and say when's the last time he worked out? Because

1278
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:10,960
Speaker 1: we as a people have to be better about health issues,

1279
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 1: we often let ourselves off the hook by talking about

1280
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 1: body shaming and fat shaming, and that's not fair to

1281
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 1: people who want you to be healthy. It's one thing

1282
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:23,000
Speaker 1: to be on on someone about how they look if

1283
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 1: they're already healthy. But if you know someone is not healthy,

1284
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 1: not eating healthy, not going to the gym, and you

1285
01:03:28,280 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 1: try to point them in a healthy direction, they say,

1286
01:03:30,040 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 1: you're fat shaming me. They're just being lazy. There's a

1287
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 1: there's a very stark difference, and I think that's a

1288
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:36,840
Speaker 1: good place for her to start. She wasn't awhere to

1289
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: start with the conversation with him. If you guys are

1290
01:03:38,920 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 1: having conversations about life, about marriage, about longevity, about being together.

1291
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:46,520
Speaker 1: If this is your person, then you want to invest

1292
01:03:46,760 --> 01:03:48,960
Speaker 1: in your person. You want to invest in this relationship,

1293
01:03:49,000 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 1: And I think it should start with the conversation of saying, Hey,

1294
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:53,720
Speaker 1: if we're going to be doing this life together, I

1295
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 1: would love for us to do the best that we

1296
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:59,400
Speaker 1: can to make sure that we are sustaining ourselves, doing

1297
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 1: our part to make sure that we're staying healthy. If

1298
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 1: it means that we're cooking together, if it means that

1299
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 1: we're meal prepping together, That's where Deval and I are now.

1300
01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,040
Speaker 1: I'm meal prepping for the two of us because I'm like, Okay,

1301
01:04:10,080 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 1: I understand what we want our diet to look like.

1302
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,800
Speaker 1: I understand some of the things that we may want

1303
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:16,640
Speaker 1: to lower or or raise based off of our last

1304
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:18,840
Speaker 1: panel of blood work we did. Like, there's so many

1305
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 1: things that go into making sure that you guys can

1306
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 1: sustain this lifestyle together. So that should be the conversation starter.

1307
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:28,120
Speaker 1: You want him to be as healthy as possible for you.

1308
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:30,440
Speaker 1: For the three year old, m your three year old,

1309
01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:32,200
Speaker 1: I think she said they have a three year old together. Yeah,

1310
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:33,720
Speaker 1: so with the three year old, you want to make

1311
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:37,680
Speaker 1: sure that that's paramount and and gentlemen, I bring this

1312
01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:40,280
Speaker 1: to you. Just going to the gym does not mean

1313
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 1: that you're healthy. Okay, we got to do a better

1314
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 1: job of eating better. If you ask a dean. I've

1315
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 1: cut a lot of sugar and a lot of salt

1316
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:48,520
Speaker 1: because I wasn't getting enough sleep and I was getting

1317
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 1: bad headaches. I took my pressure one time and my

1318
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 1: pressure was high, and Kadean was like, yo, what is

1319
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:56,560
Speaker 1: going on? It's scary to work out every day and

1320
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:58,760
Speaker 1: to take your pressure and your pressure be hid and

1321
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 1: to realize that have a little twitch in my eye.

1322
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:03,680
Speaker 1: And I noticed that that happens when I don't sleep

1323
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 1: a lot and when I'm eating too much salt, which

1324
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 1: means you never know when you're on the brink of

1325
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 1: something catastrophic happening if you keep ignoring the signs and thinking, oh,

1326
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 1: I go to the gym, so I'm fine. No, we

1327
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:19,280
Speaker 1: have yes, blood pressure, stress eating. We have to be

1328
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,120
Speaker 1: better with that as a people. So so, Mama, I

1329
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:25,360
Speaker 1: hope we helped you this one thing. She said to um,

1330
01:05:25,400 --> 01:05:27,600
Speaker 1: how do I express these concerns without my partner feeling

1331
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,640
Speaker 1: self conscious or shame? You expressing your concerns in a

1332
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 1: loving manner. If they feel shamed, that's them problem, and

1333
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 1: that has nothing to do with your you know, with you,

1334
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,840
Speaker 1: you are allowed to, if you choose to live with

1335
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 1: someone and be of service, express your concerns for yourself

1336
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:44,600
Speaker 1: and them them saying they feel shamed, that's something they

1337
01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 1: have to deal with because they have to figure out

1338
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:49,920
Speaker 1: why they feel shamed. With you expressing concerns, you know,

1339
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:54,000
Speaker 1: unless you're being an asshole or a company, which I'm

1340
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 1: sure it will come from a place. Based on what

1341
01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 1: you wrote here, I can tell you love this man

1342
01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:00,480
Speaker 1: and you care for him deeply, so I'm pretty sure

1343
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:02,760
Speaker 1: you're not expressing it to him, you know, in a

1344
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 1: negative way, but even you can be saying it the

1345
01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:08,000
Speaker 1: nicest way. If he's saying that he's feel shamed, he

1346
01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:09,800
Speaker 1: has to deal with that and you should tell him, Hey,

1347
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:11,720
Speaker 1: if you're feeling shamed about what I'm saying, you may

1348
01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 1: need to speak to someone to figure out why you

1349
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:17,120
Speaker 1: feel shame about what I'm saying, or create that space,

1350
01:06:17,160 --> 01:06:18,760
Speaker 1: safe space for him to be able to speak with

1351
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:22,160
Speaker 1: you about it. Alright, good luck. Oh. She also asked

1352
01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:24,439
Speaker 1: one question, I don't know what to do. Um, how

1353
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:28,240
Speaker 1: long it's too long to wait for change. Kaudana and

1354
01:06:28,240 --> 01:06:30,520
Speaker 1: I have been married for twenty years. We have argued

1355
01:06:30,560 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 1: and debated about stuff since the very beginning that we're

1356
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 1: still working for each other to change on so there's

1357
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:39,040
Speaker 1: nothing it's no time is too long if you're constantly

1358
01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:42,360
Speaker 1: working on it. Right with me and Jackson created this

1359
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:46,040
Speaker 1: motto a practice, Uh, Practice is not punishment. It's the

1360
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:49,120
Speaker 1: pursuit of perfection. We know we're never going to be perfect,

1361
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:52,160
Speaker 1: but when you're constantly working to be perfect, that means

1362
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,440
Speaker 1: you can get better every single day. And when you

1363
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:56,400
Speaker 1: have a partner that you can see working to get

1364
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,560
Speaker 1: better every single day, they may they may never change

1365
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,640
Speaker 1: to be exactly who you want, but the work is

1366
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:06,360
Speaker 1: what you want to see every time. Question number two

1367
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:09,200
Speaker 1: or letter number two, Hello, Connein and Devout. As frequent

1368
01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 1: listeners of y'all's podcasts, I love how real and objective

1369
01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 1: the two of you are about a lot of subjects.

1370
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:16,160
Speaker 1: Thank you. But that being said, I have an interesting

1371
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,600
Speaker 1: question for you too. I'm a thirty two year old

1372
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 1: guy and newly married. Prior to marriage, I always knew

1373
01:07:21,520 --> 01:07:23,880
Speaker 1: of monogamy in a marriage, but now in my third

1374
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 1: year I'm trying to grasp and learn a polly lifestyle

1375
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:29,240
Speaker 1: of which my wife came to me about wanting to

1376
01:07:29,320 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 1: experiment with. My question for you, too is what are

1377
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:36,520
Speaker 1: your thoughts on the lifestyle of polyamory? Also do you

1378
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:39,080
Speaker 1: think do you too think it can be a healthy

1379
01:07:39,120 --> 01:07:41,280
Speaker 1: way to grow a marriage and make it more fulfilling?

1380
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:43,640
Speaker 1: Side note, my wife grew up in a religious family

1381
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:46,040
Speaker 1: and did not get to fully explore her sexuality. We

1382
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:48,720
Speaker 1: were just talking about this without the fear of judgment

1383
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 1: as an experiment with both sex as opposed to one.

1384
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:56,280
Speaker 1: So she feels polyamory speaks to how she feels. Okay,

1385
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:59,760
Speaker 1: that's interesting. These are my thoughts on this interesting Interesting.

1386
01:08:00,200 --> 01:08:06,000
Speaker 1: Number One, asking someone else's idea on polyamory should never

1387
01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:11,640
Speaker 1: be what you start your ideas polyamory, right, So realistically,

1388
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:15,440
Speaker 1: asking us what we feel about polyamory shouldn't matter. Right?

1389
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:18,160
Speaker 1: Do you love this woman? Do you feel like it

1390
01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:20,559
Speaker 1: could work for you? Have you guys had an open

1391
01:08:20,640 --> 01:08:23,680
Speaker 1: and honest discussion about what it looks like? On what what?

1392
01:08:24,120 --> 01:08:27,800
Speaker 1: Because polyamory doesn't have one idea either, just like monogamy

1393
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:31,439
Speaker 1: doesn't write what does her idea of polyamory looks like,

1394
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:33,960
Speaker 1: what does yours look like? If you're willing to try it,

1395
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:36,719
Speaker 1: are you willing to try it together and to continue

1396
01:08:36,760 --> 01:08:39,200
Speaker 1: to grow with each other. If you guys can find

1397
01:08:39,280 --> 01:08:42,439
Speaker 1: some sort of synergy and work on it together, then

1398
01:08:42,479 --> 01:08:46,120
Speaker 1: it's for you. If you can't, then it's not for you.

1399
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 1: One thing I will tell you is stop asking other

1400
01:08:49,160 --> 01:08:53,120
Speaker 1: people advice for what you have to find out within

1401
01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:56,280
Speaker 1: your marriage. Now. I appreciate you asking us because you

1402
01:08:56,320 --> 01:08:58,880
Speaker 1: respect our opinion. But I can't tell you my thoughts

1403
01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:02,080
Speaker 1: of polyamory because I never experienced polyamory and I'd be

1404
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:05,040
Speaker 1: doing a disservice to the people who live that lifestyle

1405
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 1: trying to um man splain or uh or you know

1406
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:18,880
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, or monogamistically explain what polyamory is. All

1407
01:09:18,920 --> 01:09:20,360
Speaker 1: I know is that if you guys can find a

1408
01:09:20,360 --> 01:09:22,639
Speaker 1: healthy way to communicate and be honest with each other

1409
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:25,360
Speaker 1: through this process and find something that works for you,

1410
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:28,599
Speaker 1: to knock yourselves out. He said, they're newly married, so

1411
01:09:29,479 --> 01:09:31,280
Speaker 1: now they're in their third year, and this is what

1412
01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:33,120
Speaker 1: his wife is looking for. I think it's a great

1413
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:36,640
Speaker 1: thing that his wife is comfortable enough to speak with

1414
01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 1: him about it and then he entertained it, or at

1415
01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:40,880
Speaker 1: least say, you know what, I may not know much

1416
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:43,160
Speaker 1: about this lifestyle, but I'm willing to find out more

1417
01:09:43,160 --> 01:09:46,000
Speaker 1: about it or ask about it to see how we

1418
01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:49,280
Speaker 1: can possibly bait this work. And with his wife not

1419
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:52,840
Speaker 1: growing up having fully explored her sexuality, it looks like

1420
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:55,120
Speaker 1: she wants him to be a part of that while

1421
01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:57,800
Speaker 1: she explores women. You know, I guess they just have

1422
01:09:57,840 --> 01:10:00,840
Speaker 1: to make sure that the ground rules are put out there.

1423
01:10:01,120 --> 01:10:02,960
Speaker 1: And one thing that does get a little heary. Sometimes

1424
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:05,880
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, sometimes we can make these ground rules right,

1425
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 1: and they can be kind of general or they can

1426
01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 1: just be specific. But what if a scenario arises where

1427
01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:14,800
Speaker 1: we didn't really express what the ground rules were for this,

1428
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:18,320
Speaker 1: and it could potentially cause issues or retention later on.

1429
01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:20,720
Speaker 1: So you have to be flexible and willing to kind

1430
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:23,240
Speaker 1: of roll with the punches as you guys explore this together,

1431
01:10:23,280 --> 01:10:25,640
Speaker 1: because you may embark on something where you're like, I

1432
01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:28,479
Speaker 1: thought I would be okay with this, but I'm not

1433
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:31,719
Speaker 1: necessarily okay with that, Or I don't know. My wife

1434
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:34,920
Speaker 1: seems to really be enjoying this lifestyle with the women,

1435
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:37,240
Speaker 1: are am I then fearful now that she's no longer

1436
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:38,639
Speaker 1: going to want to be with me, and she may

1437
01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:40,800
Speaker 1: fully want to be with a woman. Like there's so

1438
01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:43,519
Speaker 1: many different ways that things can unfold. We just can't

1439
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:45,960
Speaker 1: really speak going to too much because we don't know.

1440
01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:48,360
Speaker 1: I just I just think that like any marriage, it's

1441
01:10:48,400 --> 01:10:51,519
Speaker 1: an ongoing conversation. There's never going to be a point

1442
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:54,160
Speaker 1: in your marriage, whether you're monogamous or polyamorous, where you

1443
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:56,840
Speaker 1: say we figured everything else, we no longer have conversations.

1444
01:10:57,040 --> 01:11:00,360
Speaker 1: That's this is always going to be a conversation. Also

1445
01:11:00,920 --> 01:11:03,360
Speaker 1: want to say that if at any point you feel

1446
01:11:03,400 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 1: like this relationship is not advantageous to all parties involved,

1447
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:11,280
Speaker 1: you can walk away. You know, Like this, this idea

1448
01:11:11,760 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 1: that marriage is supposed to be to the very end,

1449
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:19,080
Speaker 1: regardless of whether it's to at a detriment to either

1450
01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:22,560
Speaker 1: party or both parties, is just not real, you know

1451
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:23,840
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And I know a lot of people

1452
01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:25,680
Speaker 1: quote the Bible and use the Bible as a way,

1453
01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 1: but we're seeing pastors now get divorced. You under stand

1454
01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:31,080
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like the Bible was written thousands of

1455
01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 1: years ago, the world has changed. Everything is not going

1456
01:11:34,280 --> 01:11:36,639
Speaker 1: to be the same way. Now, if you're a super

1457
01:11:36,640 --> 01:11:39,880
Speaker 1: religious person and you believe marriages for ever, then you

1458
01:11:39,920 --> 01:11:42,080
Speaker 1: need to have that conversation with the person that you're

1459
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:45,599
Speaker 1: with and find someone who lives that lifestyle with you,

1460
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:49,520
Speaker 1: because that can also be the right lifestyle for you. Ultimately,

1461
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:53,040
Speaker 1: there is no right lifestyle for everyone on the planet.

1462
01:11:53,520 --> 01:11:59,160
Speaker 1: You have to figure out what works for you. She

1463
01:11:59,240 --> 01:12:02,360
Speaker 1: she may know, like she may try it because she

1464
01:12:02,400 --> 01:12:04,680
Speaker 1: says she was religious and felt kind of, you know,

1465
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 1: coddled and bubbled, and she may try to be like,

1466
01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:08,479
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I just I really just want to

1467
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:11,120
Speaker 1: be with my husband. Like that may be a possibility.

1468
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:13,360
Speaker 1: You never know. So as long as y'all are having

1469
01:12:13,400 --> 01:12:16,880
Speaker 1: the conversations and you don't feel like you're hurting and

1470
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:20,240
Speaker 1: she's not hurting or you're not hurting someone else, then

1471
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:22,800
Speaker 1: do what you guys do man, continue to talk about it,

1472
01:12:22,800 --> 01:12:26,080
Speaker 1: and God bless all parties involved. Just need to agree. Yes.

1473
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:28,120
Speaker 1: All right, y'all. If you want to be featured as

1474
01:12:28,160 --> 01:12:30,680
Speaker 1: one of our listener letters, be sure to email us

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01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:33,519
Speaker 1: at dead as Advice at gmail dot com. That's d

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01:12:33,600 --> 01:12:35,800
Speaker 1: E A D A S S A d V I

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01:12:35,920 --> 01:12:39,680
Speaker 1: C E at gmail dot com. All right, More on

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01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 1: the truth time we're talking to who she daddy shorts?

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01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:47,519
Speaker 1: Who she daddy summits, hot girls summers, this trend that

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01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:49,439
Speaker 1: we seem to be on, which I don't necessarily even

1481
01:12:49,439 --> 01:12:51,160
Speaker 1: think of the trend because I feel like our parents,

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01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,439
Speaker 1: parents are grandparents. Yet y'all had y'all hot girls summers?

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01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:58,280
Speaker 1: Who Chi daddy short? So what's she? Moment of truth?

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01:12:58,280 --> 01:13:01,560
Speaker 1: Baby got one? My moment of truth is this, um

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01:13:01,720 --> 01:13:06,760
Speaker 1: we all need to stop labeling people based on what

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01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,519
Speaker 1: they do in a moment in time. For example, because

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01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:12,880
Speaker 1: of social media, you get to see people live out

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01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:15,880
Speaker 1: their lives in real time. So if someone decides they

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01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:18,280
Speaker 1: want to have a hot girl summer for this moment

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01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:20,880
Speaker 1: a couple of months, people then want to say, you're

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01:13:20,920 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 1: in the hot girls summer pile for the rest of

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01:13:23,960 --> 01:13:26,800
Speaker 1: your life. You're just a hot girl. And I don't

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01:13:26,800 --> 01:13:28,720
Speaker 1: think that that's fair. You know, if you decide you

1494
01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 1: wonder war hucie daddy shorts, and and women want to say, oh,

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01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:33,280
Speaker 1: he just wants to be a thirst trapper in this

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01:13:33,439 --> 01:13:35,280
Speaker 1: because he wants to do that for these couple of months.

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01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:38,920
Speaker 1: It's not fair. I say, let people explore and see

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01:13:39,080 --> 01:13:41,519
Speaker 1: if they want to be of service to other people

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01:13:41,640 --> 01:13:44,800
Speaker 1: during this time and then let them reconvenience that, you

1500
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:47,040
Speaker 1: know what, I've made a decision about it. Let's stop

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01:13:47,040 --> 01:13:51,120
Speaker 1: shaming people and acting acting as if we all haven't experienced,

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01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:54,840
Speaker 1: especially our parents generation, having experienced out all versions of

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01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:59,120
Speaker 1: hot girls, summers and hougie dadis in the past. I

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01:13:59,160 --> 01:14:01,720
Speaker 1: also want to say that if you are in your

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01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:04,960
Speaker 1: mid thirties and you're a young man or a young

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01:14:05,040 --> 01:14:07,280
Speaker 1: woman trying to figure out what the opposite sex is

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01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:09,240
Speaker 1: thinking about, because this seems to be the age that

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01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:12,080
Speaker 1: people get real confused about why the opposite sex is

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01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:15,439
Speaker 1: moving this way, think about being Think about if you're

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01:14:15,439 --> 01:14:17,519
Speaker 1: a young man, think about being a thirty two a

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01:14:17,600 --> 01:14:19,640
Speaker 1: thirty three year old woman and being told that you

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01:14:19,720 --> 01:14:22,439
Speaker 1: have two to three years to have a child healthy,

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01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,880
Speaker 1: and thinking about what that woman is doing in the

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01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:30,200
Speaker 1: dating pool and why she's dating so deliberately. If you,

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01:14:30,280 --> 01:14:32,600
Speaker 1: as a young man, can understand that perspective as a

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01:14:32,640 --> 01:14:35,320
Speaker 1: young woman, you'll then know whose time not to waste

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01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:37,919
Speaker 1: if you're not interested in that, and you'll also understand

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01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:40,960
Speaker 1: why she's asking the question she's asking. If you're a

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01:14:41,000 --> 01:14:43,040
Speaker 1: young lady and you see a young man is in

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01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:45,840
Speaker 1: his thirties and he's living his life, and he's dating

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01:14:45,840 --> 01:14:48,120
Speaker 1: and chasing all these young women. Just ask yourself when

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01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:50,880
Speaker 1: you were in your young twenties and you were chasing

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01:14:50,880 --> 01:14:53,519
Speaker 1: all of these ballplayers and entertainers and getting flown here

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01:14:53,560 --> 01:14:55,680
Speaker 1: and flown there. Now it's his turn to do that.

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01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:58,639
Speaker 1: So if he don't seem like he's ready to settle

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01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:00,559
Speaker 1: down with you right now with thirty to a thirty

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01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:03,719
Speaker 1: three because he just finally got his penthouse apartment, don't

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01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:06,320
Speaker 1: judge him because he ain't ready to be a daddy.

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01:15:06,360 --> 01:15:09,040
Speaker 1: He trying to be a hoochie guy. And I just

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01:15:09,120 --> 01:15:11,080
Speaker 1: asked that we have some grace for each other in

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01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:14,040
Speaker 1: our thirties, because we and our thirties be bashing each

1532
01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:16,920
Speaker 1: other so bad. Right now is a very awkward face.

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01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:19,439
Speaker 1: It is a very awkward face. But I have faith

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01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:22,320
Speaker 1: in us as people that if we do history and

1535
01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:26,280
Speaker 1: understand sociology and try to understand the other person's perspective,

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01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:29,880
Speaker 1: we'll go into dating and saying, you know what, that

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01:15:29,960 --> 01:15:32,400
Speaker 1: young ladies in a certain space, I respect her. I'm

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01:15:32,400 --> 01:15:34,840
Speaker 1: not going to waste her time. Well, that young man

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01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:37,320
Speaker 1: is in a certain space. I don't want to waste

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01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:39,040
Speaker 1: his time because I know what I'm looking for more

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01:15:39,080 --> 01:15:41,880
Speaker 1: and he's looking for less. So that's that's my moment

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01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:43,720
Speaker 1: of truth. You took a portion of mine, which is

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01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,920
Speaker 1: cool because I was gonna talk about the different age ranges,

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01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:47,720
Speaker 1: like what the thirty year old men look like, what

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01:15:47,800 --> 01:15:50,080
Speaker 1: the twenty year well women look like, and vice versa,

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01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:51,840
Speaker 1: and how that changes, so to keep that in mind.

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01:15:52,240 --> 01:15:54,960
Speaker 1: But I guess my rounding out the moment of truth,

1548
01:15:55,040 --> 01:15:59,400
Speaker 1: I would say, when you're having your hot girls summer

1549
01:15:59,479 --> 01:16:01,400
Speaker 1: or your hoochie daddy summer, or however you want to

1550
01:16:01,439 --> 01:16:04,640
Speaker 1: call it, not everybody has to know that you a

1551
01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:07,639
Speaker 1: hot girl unless you advertise and that you were hot girl.

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01:16:08,080 --> 01:16:09,920
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. So some things you can

1553
01:16:09,960 --> 01:16:14,120
Speaker 1: keep to yourself, and you can hot girl in private.

1554
01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:17,519
Speaker 1: Don't ever side advertise that your hot girl if that's

1555
01:16:17,560 --> 01:16:19,080
Speaker 1: not something you want to be labeled for the rest

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01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:23,600
Speaker 1: of your life. Have your summer, keep it low key,

1557
01:16:23,840 --> 01:16:27,120
Speaker 1: have your fun, you yourself, and you will be the

1558
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:30,120
Speaker 1: only ones to know that you were playing hot girl,

1559
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:32,400
Speaker 1: you were playing Hucci daddy. And then you can re

1560
01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:35,760
Speaker 1: emerge once you've gotten that out your system, and then

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01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:38,400
Speaker 1: no one knows the white deliberty. No one knows the why.

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01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:42,640
Speaker 1: Now we know the truth, you can't handle the truth. Now.

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01:16:42,640 --> 01:16:44,320
Speaker 1: I wish I could advertise my hot girl something for

1564
01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:46,400
Speaker 1: y'all hasn't come yet, But I don't know. Let's see

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01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:48,280
Speaker 1: catch me in a couple of years. I'm still gonna

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01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:50,800
Speaker 1: be hot girling with you, bro, exactly with me. I'm

1567
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:54,280
Speaker 1: gonna be hot girling with you as long as you

1568
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:56,120
Speaker 1: know that you gotta keep a spicy you know. Hey,

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01:16:56,439 --> 01:16:58,240
Speaker 1: how girl, someone's got you played in a couple of dogs.

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01:16:58,520 --> 01:17:00,120
Speaker 1: That's a fact. But that's something that we will not

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01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:04,960
Speaker 1: be replaying anymore anymore. You can take that one and

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01:17:05,080 --> 01:17:07,000
Speaker 1: roll with it, all right, y'all. Be sure to follow

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01:17:07,120 --> 01:17:09,439
Speaker 1: us on social media if you're not already, follow the

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01:17:09,439 --> 01:17:13,479
Speaker 1: podcast page dead asked the podcast and of course I'm Cadeen,

1575
01:17:13,560 --> 01:17:15,479
Speaker 1: I am and I am devout. And if you're listening

1576
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:19,360
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe.

1577
01:17:20,439 --> 01:17:27,000
Speaker 1: Dead As dead Ass is a production of I Heart

1578
01:17:27,080 --> 01:17:30,839
Speaker 1: Media podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple

1579
01:17:31,160 --> 01:17:33,640
Speaker 1: Follow the podcast on social media at dead as the

1580
01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:35,240
Speaker 1: Podcasts and never miss a Thing