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Speaker 1: This is a headgum podcast, so guys, I may go

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Speaker 1: odum and welcome to Thanks Dad. I was raised by

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Speaker 1: a single mom and I don't have a relationship with

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Speaker 1: my dad, partially because he's dead now.

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Speaker 2: But don't feel bad for me. It is okay. We

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Speaker 2: didn't have a relationship before that the spoiler.

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Speaker 1: So this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who

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Speaker 1: are no offense to my next guest, old enough to be.

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Speaker 2: My dad, or.

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Speaker 1: Or who are just dads themselves. I'm gonna get to

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Speaker 1: ask the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad,

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Speaker 1: like how do I know.

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Speaker 2: If the guy I'm dating is right or wrong?

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Speaker 1: For me?

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Speaker 2: And my God?

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Speaker 1: How do I change the oil in my car? I

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Speaker 1: moved to New York because I didn't want to have to

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Speaker 1: change oil ever again, and partially because I.

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Speaker 2: Ended up on Saturday Night Live.

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Speaker 1: And speaking of Saturday Night Live, my next guest is

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Speaker 1: someone you know from Saturday Night Live. Ladies Man, the

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Speaker 1: mean Girls, the Goldbergs, and tons more. Please welcome my

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Speaker 1: dad for the day. You've agreed to be called that.

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Speaker 2: Tim Meadows, Hi, Tim, How are you Hi?

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Speaker 3: Hi?

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Speaker 4: How are you good to see you again?

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Speaker 2: Good to see you. It's been far too long. I mean,

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Speaker 2: we are it's been.

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Speaker 1: Way too It's almost as long as it's been since

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Speaker 1: i've seen my real dad.

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Speaker 2: Oh I'm sorry, No, don't be sorry.

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Speaker 1: It's fine. It's honestly not as long. I hadn't seen

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Speaker 1: him in way longer.

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Speaker 4: Well, we had fun the last time we saw each other.

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Speaker 2: We did. I really appreciated that. That was very cool.

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Speaker 1: Tim and I improvised together at San Francisco's Sketch Fest,

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Speaker 1: and I believe twenty nineteen.

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Speaker 4: It was somewhere around there.

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Speaker 1: Somewhere around there, right, we don't have a fact check

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Speaker 1: on this, so you can say whatever, Franklin.

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Speaker 2: Okay, good, Yeah, I know it was before COVID because.

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Speaker 3: We were all like, no mask and everybody was touching

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Speaker 3: each other, and.

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Speaker 1: We were touching, we were sweating, we were scared. Oh

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Speaker 1: my goodness, before times.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: By the way, I don't know if this is weird

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Speaker 1: to ask, how was COVID for you?

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Speaker 3: COVID was? I grew a lot from COVID. I actually

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Speaker 3: got during COVID. I started doing yoga and meditating, okay,

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Speaker 3: and I took it really seriously. I took it seriously

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Speaker 3: and I really fell in love with it is I

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Speaker 3: have a daily practice, okay.

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Speaker 4: And it all came from this just.

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Speaker 3: The desire to like work out exercise, but also from

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Speaker 3: the desire of not having anxiety attacks during.

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Speaker 2: The day, right, okay, of course.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So and then I think the other thing, I just

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Speaker 3: got closer with my kids. Actually, yeah, I spent a

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Speaker 3: lot more time with both of my sons in Chicago, Okay,

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Speaker 3: And I think that was a big influence and it

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Speaker 3: really affected our relationship because you know, you're like we

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Speaker 3: were stuff together.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and so it was like I was a good

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Speaker 4: entertaining that, you know.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So wait, can I ask how you were experiencing

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Speaker 1: what you were experiencing during COVID and anxiety attacks panic

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Speaker 1: attacks perhaps? And then made the choice to meditate. Sounds

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Speaker 1: like even fact be just more present.

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Speaker 2: Perhaps.

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Speaker 1: Was that like from the recommendation of a therapist or

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Speaker 1: was that just a thing you said, I'm doing my

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Speaker 1: own research online and this is something I want to

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Speaker 1: do or need to do.

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Speaker 4: Well, it was a combination of both.

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Speaker 3: I have had I have a therapist, and I did

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Speaker 3: talk to him like, you know weekly, we love it

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Speaker 3: also came yeah, but it also came from just the

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Speaker 3: I was just having daily sort of like moments of

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Speaker 3: because when it offers half and I was by myself

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Speaker 3: in I have an apartment in Venice, and so I

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Speaker 3: was just there and everybody else was away from me.

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Speaker 3: And so the very beginning, this is hard for me

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Speaker 3: to make it through the day without like being worried

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Speaker 3: about what was going on in the news or what

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Speaker 3: was happening in my life, or just trying. I wanted

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Speaker 3: to get to Chicago and everything and see my boys. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And so it was, and it was a recommendation from

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Speaker 3: my therapist and something that I just knew I had

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Speaker 3: to get.

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Speaker 4: Into right right.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I found it to be incredibly helpful myself

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Speaker 1: through the pandemic, and even before then, I think I

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Speaker 1: had a practice of being still and looking inward. I've

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Speaker 1: learned a lot about meditation in the last couple of years,

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Speaker 1: but I think even before that, again, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm into praying, I'm into meditating, I'm into those quiet times.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like COVID really made all of us go, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is this is really important, especially when you're by

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Speaker 1: yourself in that way.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna see It's funny though, because even during

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Speaker 3: that time, I put a Bible app on my phone

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Speaker 3: because I started reading the Bible and I started getting

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Speaker 3: I was like, I need some input, like to give

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Speaker 3: me some like perspective, and just I want to I

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Speaker 3: want to make I want to take advantage of this

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Speaker 3: free time that I have to get closer spiritually and

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Speaker 3: yeah and everything else.

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Speaker 1: So let me tell you about the Bible app, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I have that on my phone and everyone, so I'll

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Speaker 1: just peep at the first of the day and go, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, we love that. It's just a little dose

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Speaker 1: of something tender and yeah and yeah please.

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Speaker 4: And also if you want to just be scared, or

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Speaker 4: if you want some like you.

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Speaker 3: Know, bloody stories, you got an Old Testament but on

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Speaker 3: I would put on. I wanted the guy the voice

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Speaker 3: read it to me, okay, and then you would just

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Speaker 3: hear about all the sacrifices and slaughtering of animals.

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Speaker 4: This is like a John Carpenter or you know something.

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Speaker 4: It's just crazy.

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Speaker 2: They can really make some movies that these Old Testament stories. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: now what voice did you pick?

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Speaker 1: Because I don't like when my phone makes any sound whatsoever.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to hear.

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Speaker 1: I mean phone calls and facetimes, but otherwise I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want any vocal anything coming up. I don't

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Speaker 1: even want Siri talking back to me. But what voice

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Speaker 1: did you pick? Did you get to or did you

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Speaker 1: do a default?

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Speaker 2: I picked the default male voice? Okay.

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Speaker 3: I picked the male voice because it just sounded more

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Speaker 3: ominous and like, I don't know, the female voice sounds

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Speaker 3: like very soothing, like that Old Testament stories. I really

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Speaker 3: did like to have the male voice, okay, talking about

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Speaker 3: occidents being slaughtered.

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Speaker 2: Did you switch to the female voice when you got

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Speaker 2: to the New Testament?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 3: No, I didn't, But I tell you I do use

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Speaker 3: the female voice for my when I was doing the

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Speaker 3: meditation app Okay, I started doing that.

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Speaker 4: Okay, The female voice I love much.

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Speaker 2: Far more soothing.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Where does that come from? I believe our voices

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Speaker 1: are more soothing too.

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Speaker 4: I do too. I think he comes from the wound.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm going to get to the womb with

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Speaker 1: you now, Tim, this is what we're here to talk about. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my relationship with my dad or lack thereof in your case,

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Speaker 1: what was your relationship with your dad?

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Speaker 4: Like my relationship with my father. People.

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Speaker 3: Well, my parents also separated when I was about seven

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Speaker 3: years old, okay, and then for a while and we

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Speaker 3: lived in the same city, but I didn't even see

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Speaker 3: my father for maybe a couple of years or something

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Speaker 3: like that. And then my sister, Wanda, who is two

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Speaker 3: years older than me, and I think I maybe.

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Speaker 4: Was seven, so she was nine, she demanded to go

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Speaker 4: to his house.

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Speaker 3: And I love it, Wanda, Yeah, And so she my

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Speaker 3: mother took us.

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Speaker 4: Got us in the car. We went to his house

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Speaker 4: and knocked on the door like kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then what happened.

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Speaker 3: Back in the day, there was this thing, these things

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Speaker 3: called milk shoots, okay, where the milkman will leave the

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Speaker 3: bottles of milk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And I was small enough to fit through the milk shoot,

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Speaker 3: and so they opened the milk shoot and pushed me in.

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Speaker 4: And then I went in and opened the.

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Speaker 3: Door, and we all went in, and my father was

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Speaker 3: like pretending, like he was, what's going on?

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Speaker 1: What are you guys doing it when all else fails?

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Speaker 1: Pretend to be asleep? I feel like, no shade, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I learned this from men, but just

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Speaker 1: just what I'm disoriented and what's going hold on, who

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Speaker 1: are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I was I was sleeping, my dreaming.

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Speaker 1: Wait, so y'all broke into your dad's house and I

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Speaker 1: love it because Wanda said this needs to happen. Now.

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Speaker 1: Was your mom at all reticent or was she at

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Speaker 1: this point you hadn't seen him for a couple of years.

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Speaker 1: It's like you said, and so what was your mom's

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Speaker 1: take on that?

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Speaker 3: My mother's take was that if you guys, if you

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Speaker 3: this is something you wanted, I'm gonna do it.

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Speaker 4: Because she agreed.

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Speaker 3: And to my mother's credit, she never talked negative about

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Speaker 3: my thoughts.

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Speaker 1: Same by the way, I feel like, growing up, I've

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Speaker 1: seen the tropes of the bitter woman, single mother raising

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Speaker 1: her children and bashing men and dumping all her emotional

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Speaker 1: baggage on her children, and I'm like, I didn't have

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Speaker 1: that experience. My mom never spoke negatively about my dad either.

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Speaker 1: So she said, to you guys, if you guys, if

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Speaker 1: that's something you want, let's go over there. Let's I'm

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Speaker 1: going to take you there. And I mean, I appreciate that,

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Speaker 1: and absolute to your mom's credit, that is.

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Speaker 4: And really to my sister's credit too. Like I said,

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Speaker 4: she was just a couple of years older than me.

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Speaker 3: But then she sort of forced my father to have

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Speaker 3: a relationship with us, and then he did, you know.

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Speaker 4: So from the time I was maybe ten on, we

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Speaker 4: would I would see him more.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but my relationship with him wasn't father's son. It

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Speaker 3: was more friendly, friendly and more like. He was a

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Speaker 3: big jazz fan, so we had that in common. I

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Speaker 3: played saxophone okay, in high school and through school.

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Speaker 4: And stuff, so he loved the fact that I was

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Speaker 4: a musician. We got stone together when I was old.

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Speaker 2: How old?

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Speaker 4: He's like, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Got stone with him, and I think actually that like

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Speaker 3: brought us closer together too, because I got to see

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Speaker 3: him in a different light, you know, and he saw

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Speaker 3: me achieved and so he was always very proud of

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Speaker 3: me in surprise and stuff. Yeah, but you know, my

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Speaker 3: father's passed away too. But I think about my father

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Speaker 3: every day. Like there as loment as during the day

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Speaker 3: when I or things that will happen and I will

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Speaker 3: remember something he said or something he made me laugh about,

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Speaker 3: or I hear it in myself sometimes when I'm doing

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Speaker 3: stand up and I'll if I'm riffing on stuff and

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Speaker 3: sometimes I'll be like, man, that sounds just like what

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Speaker 3: my father would say.

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Speaker 2: Wow, Wow, that's so cool.

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Speaker 1: So no, even hearing that you think about him every day,

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Speaker 1: that is that's so lovely to hear, frankly, and also

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Speaker 1: knowing that he was more of a friend to you

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Speaker 1: than say, a father figure in the way that I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of us think about it, is any

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Speaker 1: part of you wish he had been a father figure

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Speaker 1: to you and more of that than your friend.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean I wish when I was younger

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Speaker 3: I had that kind because he didn't do sports.

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Speaker 4: He never threw a ball all to me or at me.

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Speaker 2: Well that's good at your right, okay.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but like the thing like but when I was younger, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: like I.

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Speaker 3: Missed from ages of seven to ten or whatever, I

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Speaker 3: missed those kind of like things. And I would see

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Speaker 3: other kids doing those things with their father's going you know,

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Speaker 3: little league sports or you know fishing. My father took

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Speaker 3: us fishing when I was really young, and then we

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Speaker 3: stopped doing it, and I missed that, you know, right.

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Speaker 3: But I think in hindsight, being a man now, I'm

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Speaker 3: sort of annoying my dad and knowing what kind of

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Speaker 3: man he was.

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of glad that we were friend.

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Speaker 4: Is more than father's son. Okay, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, Please tell me what kind of man was he?

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Speaker 2: In your view?

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Speaker 5: Well, he was a player, Okay, he was outside Okay,

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Speaker 5: he was out.

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Speaker 4: There, he was Okay.

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Speaker 2: You know, it is funny.

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Speaker 3: Because I saw some snippets of Keenan's book mm hm,

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Speaker 3: and he was talking about like the African American people

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Speaker 3: on the show, and he said that I was like

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Speaker 3: a Harvard guy who was like cerebral and quiet and stuff.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, I didn't go on to Harvard.

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Speaker 2: First of all, I went to Yale. No, okay, where

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Speaker 2: did you can?

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Speaker 4: I went to Waste State University.

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Speaker 3: But also, like my family, like I grew up in

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Speaker 3: the city, Like my family, like I have a very

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Speaker 3: typical upbringing.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying for.

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Speaker 3: I grew up in Detroit, my separated parents, my father.

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Speaker 3: I see my father out and drinking in the streets

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Speaker 3: of Detroit, you know, like, ok yeah, so I yeah,

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Speaker 3: so my that's the kind of man my dad was.

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Speaker 4: He was a hard working dude, but he drank. He

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Speaker 4: didn't really.

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Speaker 3: Step up when it was time to be a father. Well,

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Speaker 3: here's the other thing that we discovered about my dad

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Speaker 3: when I was about sixteen seventeen was that he had

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Speaker 3: another family before my family.

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Speaker 2: Yes, okay, well, so this is a thing.

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Speaker 1: When I was thinking about this podcast, and I have

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Speaker 1: been for many years and thinking about it in this

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Speaker 1: forum and other forms, I've done so much research about

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Speaker 1: I mean, I found some stat about how many adults

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Speaker 1: don't have a relationship with their father and how it's

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Speaker 1: not as rare as you think. And I, in talking

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Speaker 1: about this, have been like, in talking to friends about it.

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Speaker 1: It's so fascinating to me how many men have multiple families,

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Speaker 1: like actually at the same time, at the same time

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Speaker 1: secret families. This is not as rare as you'd like

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Speaker 1: to think. And at a certain point before I was

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Speaker 1: having these conversations, I had a certain naivete about it

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Speaker 1: because I'd go, oh, my gosh, that is I have

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Speaker 1: never heard of such a thing. But now I'm like,

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Speaker 1: not heard of that, but yeah, I'm like I've heard

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Speaker 1: of it at this point. And I have so many

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Speaker 1: friends from college I look at in getting closer to

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Speaker 1: them over the years too, I discovered, oh, you're a

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Speaker 1: part of your dad's second family, and you're part of

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Speaker 1: a family for which he decided to step up, And

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Speaker 1: I mean, I want to talk to some dads who

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Speaker 1: have done that to know what made you want to

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Speaker 1: step up for this second family and like be a

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Speaker 1: present father because you have this other family that did

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Speaker 1: not experience the benefit or the same kind of harm

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Speaker 1: or what have.

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Speaker 2: You of your presence.

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Speaker 1: I mean, my dad had another family, not secret family,

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Speaker 1: but went on to have another family, was a very

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Speaker 1: present father for them. And so that's just fascinating to me.

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Speaker 1: But it's not as rare as we like to think

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Speaker 1: it is, by the way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, And actually I was talking to a friend

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Speaker 3: another a comedian, and I would say what he is,

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Speaker 3: but I'm not sure if he's really said this in

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Speaker 3: the pressure, But we were talking about it, and I

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Speaker 3: told him about my experience with my dad and.

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Speaker 2: He said he had the same thing.

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Speaker 3: And he's not an African American and he said he

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Speaker 3: had the same thing and he was just surprised about

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Speaker 3: it and it changed how he thought of his father.

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Speaker 2: Mmmm mm hmm.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, we discovered it when I was I would

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Speaker 3: think it was kept from me. Maybe my older brothers

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Speaker 3: and sisters knew, but my sister Wanda again. She she's

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Speaker 3: a Michigan State and she saw that there was another

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Speaker 3: Meadows in the student directory, you know, for the faculty. Sure, actually,

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Speaker 3: and so she called him and said, my name is

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Speaker 3: Wanda Meadows.

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Speaker 4: I'm a freshman. I just saw your name. And his

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Speaker 4: name is.

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Speaker 3: Lee Meadows and he was a teacher and he was

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Speaker 3: at Michigan State. And they started talking and then discovered

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Speaker 3: that they had the same father.

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Speaker 2: Wow, what a way.

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Speaker 1: Okay, because because Wanda is giving superhero to me, powerful superhero,

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Speaker 1: what did she do with that information?

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Speaker 2: Did she call your dad and confront him? Yes, okay?

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Speaker 2: And he froze up and was like, I'm sleep, I'm

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Speaker 2: sleep what happened? I was sleep? I still got the

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Speaker 2: call in my.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I swear he did it, and he would

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Speaker 3: not he would not recognize it to us ever, m Like,

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Speaker 3: I don't think he ever for me personally, Like, I

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Speaker 3: don't think he ever said anything about his other family,

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Speaker 3: even after we all knew what was the deal.

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Speaker 1: When ultimately he pretended to be a sleepy did he

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Speaker 1: ever acknowledge even in that moment like, Okay, yes this

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Speaker 1: is happening. But then did it go from acknowledging to

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Speaker 1: not wanting to talk about it, or did it go

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Speaker 1: from I'm not going to acknowledge and I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to talk about it.

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Speaker 3: It went from acknowledging it to not talking about it

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Speaker 3: super quick quickly.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, and we just never it was never a think.

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Speaker 4: But we have a relationship with my other brothers and sisters.

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Speaker 2: Now, okay, okay.

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Speaker 3: And so that was like the good thing about it,

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Speaker 3: you know, and for us to find like my brother

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Speaker 3: Lee is a he is a doctor, it's like he's

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Speaker 3: a professor.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 3: His other and his other siblings are all like educated.

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Speaker 3: One of my stepsisters lived in Paris our whole life,

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Speaker 3: you know, Okay, finding all this stuff, like I'm like,

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Speaker 3: oh yeah, it's sort of like our family, Like we're

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Speaker 3: this like we we go for what we want, we

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Speaker 3: are afraid to like we're achievers basically, you know what

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Speaker 3: I'm saying. Right, So it was really eye opening to

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Speaker 3: meet those people because it changed my perspective of.

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Speaker 1: What I could do really you know, okay inspired you yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was like, my brother, if I have a brother

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Speaker 1: that's a doctor, as a doctor's degree.

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Speaker 4: I'm from the same genes I can I can achieve something?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: Isn't it fascinating when you like discover what's inside of you?

380
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Speaker 1: I say that like my mom was a single mom

381
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Speaker 1: and went to I don't say she was a single

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Speaker 1: mom and went to medical school having after having four children.

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Speaker 1: And for me, I'm like, I could do anything in

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Speaker 1: my mind as a result. And I don't know if

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Speaker 1: in that time, you know, when I'm growing up, I

386
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Speaker 1: think to myself, Oh, because my mom did this, I

387
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Speaker 1: believe I can do anything.

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Speaker 2: But it's just the seeing it and what that.

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Speaker 1: Does inside of you subconsciously even and then knowing it. Now,

390
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Speaker 1: did you meet these siblings? This is then, presumably before

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Speaker 1: you got on SNL.

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Speaker 4: I met them before. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And the one that I think we've had the closest

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Speaker 3: relationship with is my brother Lee, And so yeah, we've

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Speaker 3: had a relationship and they've been able to see everything too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now, did your dad step up for Lee and his

398
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Speaker 1: siblings or was he present for them?

399
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Speaker 3: No?

400
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 4: Okay, he wasn't.

401
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,440
Speaker 2: Okay, you guys were having the same experience.

402
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Speaker 3: Then in that experience, and there's a little crossover to

403
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Speaker 3: like the kids my oldest brother and like Lee's youngest sister.

404
00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 4: And they just like maybe in the same year or something.

405
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Speaker 2: Oh wow, like one town over.

406
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Speaker 4: No, no, wow. My dad was a player and he

407
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Speaker 4: didn't care.

408
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 2: He had a car. He had a car and was

409
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Speaker 2: on a mission to get as much as he could.

410
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Speaker 3: He was like, I'm going to have a family on

411
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Speaker 3: the west side and the.

412
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Speaker 1: East side, and if there was an in the south

413
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Speaker 1: of the tree, he would have done that as well.

414
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Speaker 2: Okay, that is fascinating.

415
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Speaker 1: So when you say that you're glad in a sense

416
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Speaker 1: that he was more of a friend to you than

417
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Speaker 1: a father figure. Did you respect your dad once you

418
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Speaker 1: had that relationship with him.

419
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Speaker 4: That's a good question.

420
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Speaker 3: Wow, I oh boy, that's like one of the therapy questions.

421
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Speaker 2: It's fascinating.

422
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Speaker 1: Listen, by the way, if I had just met you,

423
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Speaker 1: I'm this person, I'm like, tell me everything.

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Speaker 3: But I'm feeling comfortable talking to you because I, yeah,

425
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 3: I know you. Yeah, I could say, but yeah, Honestly,

426
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Speaker 3: I didn't have a lot of respect from a father

427
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Speaker 3: as a father figure, just these amples that I saw,

428
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Speaker 3: you know, and so I had to separate that from

429
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Speaker 3: the man that I was getting to know as an adult.

430
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Speaker 3: You know, from the time I was seventeen on. I

431
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 3: really didn't ask my father for advice or help or

432
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Speaker 3: anything like that, so I didn't have like this respect

433
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Speaker 3: for him. I'm getting choked up that I wish I

434
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 3: would have had. Yeah, I had luckily in my life though,

435
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 3: I had father figures that I adopted, and I saw

436
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Speaker 3: all these men carried themselves in a way they treated

437
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 3: their wives and their kids, and I used those people

438
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Speaker 3: as examples of how to be a man.

439
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 4: So, yeah, that's a good question.

440
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's tough because I do have a lot of

441
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Speaker 1: respect for my mom and having seen what she overcame,

442
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 1: having seen how she stepped up and just handled business,

443
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 1: and having seen the way she conducts herself about all

444
00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 1: of this stuff that we're even talking about here. Yet

445
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 1: at the same time, when I went away to college,

446
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 1: I've said this already, I recognized her as a person,

447
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 1: and I think growing up, at least for me, I

448
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 1: just was like, this is a superhero, Like you're the adult.

449
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 1: You're an adult, and you're gonna be this perfect arbitrar

450
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 1: of justice, and you know how to make all the

451
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 1: right decisions and moves. And once I got to college,

452
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 1: going across the country was probably the best thing I

453
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: could have ever done, because it just made me see

454
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,399
Speaker 1: her as a person, like, oh my goodness, that lady

455
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,600
Speaker 1: is just a person who is doing all of this,

456
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 1: going to med school, raising these kids, yep, and has

457
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 1: no experience with this beyond this actual experience she's having

458
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: and going at it one day at a time, fresh

459
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 1: and new, improvising if you will.

460
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she's just a person.

461
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: So some of the things I'm upset with her about,

462
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, she's literally just a person, and we

463
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,160
Speaker 1: hear it all the time, trying her best, but I'm like, seriously,

464
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: just a gal who had some kids and is like

465
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:57,639
Speaker 1: and is like figuring.

466
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 2: It out as she goes.

467
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,640
Speaker 1: And so I think I had a lot of respect

468
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 1: for her when I was some of that frustration about

469
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 1: things with my mom, It was like I had a

470
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: lot of respect for her, and thus expected her to

471
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: be able to make X and Y decisions and intelligently

472
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 1: and in a way where she that demonstrates that she

473
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: knows everything and knows what she's doing.

474
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 2: And so you want to have that respect for.

475
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 1: Your parents, and you want to have that even if

476
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 1: there are other people, and I had a lot of people.

477
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 1: I had a lot of positive male figures in my life.

478
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,920
Speaker 1: My mom never remarried, but I didn't have a bad

479
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 1: view of men, and I got to see men who

480
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 1: stepped up for their families, and I got to see

481
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,199
Speaker 1: men who were loving and kind and invested in me

482
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,960
Speaker 1: and my success. But you want to, yeah, you want

483
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 1: to have that respect for your parents. There's something that

484
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 1: feels really special about that. If you could have, okay,

485
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: had the option of having a father figure you respect

486
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 1: or a friend in your father, which would you choose,

487
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: because sometimes.

488
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know if my mom's my friend.

489
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 4: Yeah.

490
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 3: Well, I think form like different periods of my life.

491
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,480
Speaker 3: Like I said, I think I much rather would have

492
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,919
Speaker 3: had my father been in my life more when I

493
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 3: was younger and then through the teenage years. It would

494
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 3: have been good to have him to help me figure

495
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 3: out stuff too. Yeah, so I think I much rather

496
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,760
Speaker 3: would have had like a traditional father in my life.

497
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 4: That would have been great.

498
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 3: But I think the way it all turned out, you know,

499
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 3: I was, you know, smart enough to like look and

500
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: pick other people and see other men and say, Okay,

501
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 3: even if I don't have to even ask that person

502
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 3: any questions, I can just look at what they're doing,

503
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 3: and I can see that, like I wouldn't be like that,

504
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 3: you know, and I'll see like one of my first

505
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: men and I looked up to was my gym teachers,

506
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 3: this guy who also went to my church.

507
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 4: His name was David Petway. His name is David that

508
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 4: Way And I even like wrote his name in.

509
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,040
Speaker 1: A sketch when I was a love it because people

510
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 1: love when you loved it.

511
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 6: Yeah.

512
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 1: One of mine, Veranda, is named after my friend's mom

513
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: because I just loved that name.

514
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 2: But they love it.

515
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

516
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 3: But yeah, So he was one of the first guy

517
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 3: because he was married, loved his kids, was church going guy,

518
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 3: very athletic and very positive, smart dude teacher.

519
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 4: And then there was this guy named Joe Kaminsky who

520
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 4: was another teacher. And when I was a kid, and

521
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 4: he was this.

522
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 3: White guy athlete, but like, I never seen tough kids

523
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 3: respect a guy as quickly as they respected him because

524
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 3: he just did not take shit from anybody.

525
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 4: And he was a big dude.

526
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 3: He was white, working in an all African Americans, you know,

527
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 3: school predominantly African American, but he set fear in the

528
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 3: heart of the boys in that class just my flexing

529
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:51,600
Speaker 3: his biceps.

530
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, but mister commit, that.

531
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 3: Dude took me under his wing because he saw like

532
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 3: that I he was just like thought I had that

533
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 3: had something, and he.

534
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 4: I was his assistant, you know. And no teachers don't

535
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 4: have assistance. Right, you come hang out with the football team.

536
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 4: Here's the pad. I want you to take attendance. He

537
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 4: like gave me things to do and stuff. Yeah, And

538
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 4: so it was like guys like that.

539
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 3: But I do want to say too, like your experience

540
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,119
Speaker 3: with your mom and like, yeah, when I first moved

541
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 3: to Chicago to do him for ev was the first

542
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 3: time I was really on my own to make money,

543
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 3: making money, living off my own money m hm, and

544
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 3: paying for a house or rent and stuff like that.

545
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 4: And I remember not being able to.

546
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 3: Like have food for like a week after they paid

547
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 3: and stuff. And I was like, I don't even have

548
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 3: money to buy groceries or anything. Yeah, And I thought,

549
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 3: how did my mother feed six kids on less than

550
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 3: what I was making?

551
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 2: You know?

552
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 4: Right?

553
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,280
Speaker 2: I think that often.

554
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,160
Speaker 1: I can tell you the answer to your Chicago thing

555
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 1: is that you were living in an apartment that was

556
00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:00,360
Speaker 1: too nice. I'm like, your rent was too high. Nope,

557
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 1: you was living in an apartment that was too nice.

558
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: You needed to be an a hostile type situation, shared

559
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,360
Speaker 1: shared shower with a bunch of strangers in the hall. Yeah,

560
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 1: but I feel that often when I think about how

561
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: overwhelmed I can get anxious, even I can get as

562
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,399
Speaker 1: I'm like navigating life in the world and all my

563
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: I'm putting air quote responsibilities because I'm like, does not

564
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 1: compare to having six children at this age or four

565
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,600
Speaker 1: children at this age. I do have those moments where

566
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 1: I go, how did you do that?

567
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 2: And people will.

568
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 1: Say I've asked friends because my day job before I

569
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: had SNL, I worked with some people who were in

570
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 1: that situation where they had kids and their partners were

571
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 1: not present, so they were going at it on their

572
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,919
Speaker 1: own and they and I'd ask them like, how are

573
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,159
Speaker 1: you doing this? And They're like, if you have to,

574
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: you be surprised what you're capable of when you don't

575
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 1: have any other options. And so kudos to your mom

576
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 1: because she did a fantastic job. And also shout out

577
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 1: to those teachers who make kids feel seen in that way.

578
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: And I think that really does change the trajectory of

579
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 1: one's life, because I have teachers in high school that

580
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, I don't want to disappoint mister Brestler.

581
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: I don't want to disappoint mister Spivey.

582
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: And that's I'm twenty years old, twenty two years old,

583
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: still thinking about my high school teacher. I'm like, I

584
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 1: don't even know if they're thinking about me, but they

585
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: did such a great job while I was in their

586
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 1: classroom that I'm thinking about them across the country all.

587
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 2: These years later.

588
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.

589
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, were there any male figures in your family that

590
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 1: you could look to and say, I respect the way

591
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: you are showing up as a male figure and as

592
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 1: a man.

593
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: Yes, definitely.

594
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: Okay my older brother Lathan, Okay, And I hope he

595
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 3: hears this because I love.

596
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,360
Speaker 4: He was an Air Force.

597
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 3: Career guy Air Force and went to join the Air

598
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 3: Force right out of high school. He was in the

599
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 3: ROTC during the high school. And you know, he was

600
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 3: always different. He was smarter than everybody. Seriously, like he

601
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 3: was smarter than everybody.

602
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: And you're not just saying that because that's your brother.

603
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 2: I could see it in your high like, No, he

604
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 2: really was.

605
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: He We used to always say he knew a little

606
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 3: bit about everything. Yeah, you know, and just the way

607
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 3: he carried himself like a military dude, and he was

608
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 3: very respectful and pat pride and like he is just.

609
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 2: An amazing man.

610
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 3: And so he was one of the first guys that

611
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,239
Speaker 3: I looked at like, all right, I'm not like a

612
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 3: military dude, but I dig the way he carries himself

613
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 3: because people respect him. And one time and he's, uh,

614
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 3: he's probably like six one, muscular, broad chest, you know,

615
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 3: handsome dude.

616
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, And he came to visit.

617
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 3: Me when I was at SML and I came up

618
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 3: to the writer's room and with his wife and he

619
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 3: hung out. And he's just one of those personality beies

620
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 3: you think he's running from me or when you are.

621
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 1: Kissing babies.

622
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 3: He made the rounds in the writing writer's room, and

623
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 3: then I walked him out to the elevators and they

624
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 3: came back into the writer's room, and all of the

625
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 3: women in the writer's room or a mouth.

626
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 4: Wide open life, that's your brother. I was like, yeah, yeah,

627
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 4: I did it all.

628
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 2: I know. He's answer.

629
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 4: He's charismatic, you love I get it to trust me.

630
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 3: I get as My whole life has been where's your brother, Laithe.

631
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 1: That's so many yeah, wait, how much older than you is?

632
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 3: He he's six years older than me, I think.

633
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, incredible.

634
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 4: So he was like like somebody in my family. And

635
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 4: my uncle Warren medals too. He's he was a pastor,

636
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 4: and he he's my birthday buddy.

637
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 3: We have the same birthday, okay, And so he would

638
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 3: always take me out to birth for we have a

639
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 3: birthday dinner every year.

640
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 4: And he just stayed in.

641
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 3: Our lives after my parents split up, as my dad's brother,

642
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 3: and so he just sayed in our lives and he

643
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 3: helped my mom find a house live in. He would

644
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 3: always like, you know, take us shopping for close yeah, yeah,

645
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 3: sears or whatever for.

646
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: School ripears by the way, Yeah and so and he

647
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 1: always wore shirt and ties and like sweater vests and

648
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: you know.

649
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: And so whenever I've.

650
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 3: Played teachers, you know, me and girls, and yeah, I

651
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 3: hope I dressed like my uncle Warren in those roles.

652
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, because that's how I saw him too, right. So yeah,

653
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 4: those those guys were very fluential. And then there was

654
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 4: friends of.

655
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 3: Mine and the other guy I would have to say

656
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 3: obviously or not obviously, but really Big was my best

657
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 3: friend when I was growing up as his name is

658
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 3: Byron Smith, and his family basically took me in and

659
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 3: adopted me as their seventh kid.

660
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 2: Well.

661
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so his father, Robert Smith Junior, was just

662
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 3: he was another dude. He was a family dude. He

663
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 3: worked hard, He played golf, and I never knew a

664
00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 3: black man to play golf.

665
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, like we saw Tiger and then that, but he

666
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 1: wasn't around yah, And.

667
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 3: So he was another man in my life. That's just totally.

668
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 3: He was an example of like he was tough, he

669
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 3: got people respected him. And like back in those days,

670
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 3: when you go out into being an African American man,

671
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 3: going out into two predominantly white world, you would see

672
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 3: men becoming more docile as they had to deal with people.

673
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 3: My father wasn't like that, and mister Smith wasn't like that, right, right,

674
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 3: And my brother Lincoln wasn't like that, right.

675
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 2: And I remember seeing my.

676
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 3: Father and all of them mm hmm, just like not

677
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 3: take any shit from people, right.

678
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: Didn't it make you want to be like that then too?

679
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:53,720
Speaker 1: It makes you want to because you've seen the other

680
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: version of it. But you go, I want to show

681
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: up like that in the world exactly.

682
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 4: And I was like that for my kids from my

683
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 4: boy to One of my rules for me a dad

684
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 4: was I will not less somebody disrespect me in front

685
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 4: of my kids. I won't do it.

686
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 3: You'd be surprised, yes, being a black man in America,

687
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 3: what people will say and do to you in front

688
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 3: of your kids and not have any clue of how

689
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 3: it would affect the way your kids see you. So

690
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 3: even from like a waitress giving you a bad.

691
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 4: Table or an.

692
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 3: Officer police officer talking to you like you're not a man,

693
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 3: you know, it's like I'm not.

694
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 4: My kids are, They're not going to see that.

695
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 3: Like one time I was in l A one time

696
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 3: and this me and my son were like we basically

697
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 3: j walked because I was trying to get across the

698
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 3: street really quick and the cop was on the other side.

699
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 3: And I get across the street and he goes. The

700
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 3: cop goes, you know what you did is against the law.

701
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 3: And my son, I'm holding my son's hand and I go, yeah,

702
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 3: I know it is. And he goes, I don't want

703
00:32:58,040 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 3: to see that again. And I go listen, are you

704
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 3: to give me a ticket or you're gonna lecture me?

705
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm, Because I'm not gonna takee both.

706
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 4: Right, right. My son looked at me like I was Superman.

707
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 2: Right.

708
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: And that's what you think of your parents at that age,

709
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 1: whether we're saying it or not, because you have had

710
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: that experience in someone's child. We're looking at our parents

711
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: for cues on how to show up in the world.

712
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: And so that was my dog barking yes and amen.

713
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: But you see, those moments are paramount and they're pivotal

714
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 1: for us. And I think those are the moments we go, oh, okay,

715
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: I'm picking up on something that's not okay. But what

716
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 1: is okay is to stand up for yourself and is

717
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: okay to have a boundary. I did break the law

718
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: air quotes because I'm like jaywalking. Come on down, I

719
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: feel like jaywalking. The punishment for jaywalking should be you

720
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 1: get hit by a car. If you get hit by

721
00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: a car, and you get hit by the car, if

722
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: you didn't get hit by the car, let people rob okay.

723
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 4: Let God be the judge.

724
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 2: We don't need we don't need tickets, we don't need you.

725
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 2: Make it, yeah, make it across the street. It's okay,

726
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 2: it's okay.

727
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,640
Speaker 1: And if I don't, my punishment is I've gotten molly

728
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: wopped by a vehicles. Okay, I mean I was gonna

729
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 1: ask you what kind of dad you feel you are,

730
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: and how much of the way your father was a

731
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: father shows up in how you parent your children.

732
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 3: I would say, Now, I've been in my kid's life

733
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 3: the whole time, even though I got divorced. But I

734
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 3: made sure that I didn't, you know, I didn't want

735
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 3: to have the same relationship that I went through, and

736
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 3: so I moved to Chicago. I bought a place there

737
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 3: and centered my career there and then I just fought

738
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 3: to see my boys as much as I possibly could,

739
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 3: and so I wanted that to be an example to

740
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 3: them also.

741
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 4: That was one thing.

742
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 3: And when they were younger and I used to have

743
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 3: to fly back to la and that, you know, and

744
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 3: it was always sad.

745
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 4: It was always sad.

746
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 3: Because they knew I was going. Yeah, and I told

747
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 3: them both. I said that I'm going to buy a

748
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 3: place here. I'm gonna buy a place here for us.

749
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,280
Speaker 3: And then when I did, I said to my son, Isaiah,

750
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 3: do you remember when I said I was gonna buy

751
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,360
Speaker 3: a house there? And he I do, Dad, I remember,

752
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 3: And I was like, this is it I'm here and

753
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,800
Speaker 3: we're living here now, you know. And so I try

754
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 3: to let them know that they can talk to me

755
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 3: about anything now, you know, Yeah, they can, no matter

756
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 3: what it is. I let them know that it's it's

757
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 3: a very open relationship. I can shift between being your

758
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 3: father and your friend now. I think the things that

759
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 3: I've taught them or they see for me through example,

760
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 3: it's hard work.

761
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 4: How much I love my.

762
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,440
Speaker 3: Family, my brothers and sisters and my you know, I

763
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 3: lived in other than Detroit now, and so they have

764
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 3: a much better relationship with my family and so and

765
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 3: because my ex wife, my kids are mixed.

766
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 4: My ex wife is white. So that added another reason

767
00:35:59,080 --> 00:35:59,399
Speaker 4: for me.

768
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: To stay in their lives because they are going to

769
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:06,600
Speaker 3: grow up being seen as African American men, and I

770
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 3: just wanted to be an example for them as to

771
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 3: how the next generation of Meadows Men are going to live.

772
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 2: I think that's fantastic.

773
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,320
Speaker 1: Do you think now as a father, and said, I

774
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 1: heard you say you can switch between that father figural

775
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: and a friend with them it Do you think it's

776
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: important to be your your kid's friend.

777
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 3: I think I think you have to have a friendship

778
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,280
Speaker 3: relationship with your friends.

779
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:35,360
Speaker 4: I mean with your kids.

780
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,800
Speaker 3: And you know, I used to say to my sons

781
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,000
Speaker 3: when they were growing up, and it was one of

782
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 3: the rules, is that there's going to be a point

783
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 3: in your life where you're going to have to make

784
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 3: a judgment about me and your mom and your grandparents

785
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 3: and your friends, and it's all based on their history

786
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 3: and relationship and the way you see them in me too.

787
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean I sort of told them, like,

788
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 3: you always will love me as your father. I'm always

789
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 3: going to be the type of father that you're going

790
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,240
Speaker 3: to want to, you know, love or respect.

791
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 2: But at a certain point.

792
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 3: You're going to have to like figure out if you

793
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,280
Speaker 3: respect me as a human being and as a man

794
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 3: and as another person that you see in your life.

795
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 4: You know, and I've told them this.

796
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 3: You will lose respect for people that you know for

797
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 3: some reason or another.

798
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 4: But the people that can maintain that res you know,

799
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 4: maintain the a level of respect, you know, those people

800
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 4: will be there forever.

801
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:37,399
Speaker 2: You know.

802
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,880
Speaker 3: Like my brother Lathan, I have so much respect for him.

803
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 3: I will always have it, you know, and he I

804
00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:45,759
Speaker 3: don't think he'll ever let it let me.

805
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 4: Down, you know what.

806
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: I yeah, yeah, And is that something you think about

807
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: though where you go. I don't ever want to let

808
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:52,840
Speaker 1: these kids down.

809
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 4: Yes I do.

810
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 3: And there's been times in my life growing up like

811
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 3: there's I've made mistakes. I'm not deaf, not perfect whatever.

812
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,120
Speaker 3: And you know, being in being.

813
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 4: A person that can be in the public or have

814
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 4: people say things about you online or whatever, you.

815
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 3: Know that can that can be tough, right And and

816
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 3: I've sort of experienced that a little bit with my

817
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 3: boys where I've had to say the things that you're

818
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 3: seeing or hearing or whatever is not actual.

819
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 4: You know what's going on or whatever.

820
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 3: But yeah, it makes it a little bit tougher. And

821
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 3: one of the things I try to do now is

822
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 3: like stay out of news.

823
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 4: I don't try to do anything.

824
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 1: See too much about you in the news except what

825
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: Molly Shannon rochterd Center college recommendation.

826
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, we were doing our research. We're like, damn

827
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,399
Speaker 2: Tim is and Tim is out the way.

828
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:47,320
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I moved to Detroit. I quietly go about

829
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 3: my career now, you know.

830
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, how did you make that decision to move

831
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 1: to Detroit?

832
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 3: And it was really I guess during COVID and everything

833
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 3: was I just felt like I wanted to be closer

834
00:38:58,600 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 3: to people I.

835
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 4: Grew up with and my family, and I really wanted

836
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 4: my boys.

837
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: To because I know they're in Chicago, right, the boys.

838
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,799
Speaker 3: They grew up in Chicago. But now my oldest son

839
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 3: is out of college. He's living in DC okay, and

840
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 3: the younger one is it NYU.

841
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 2: Okay, so he's in New York okay.

842
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: Because I know during pandemic it was like, look, I'm

843
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 1: kind of out here on my own in Venice, but

844
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 1: I want to go be closer to the family that

845
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: was Chicago.

846
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,839
Speaker 2: Detroit was like to be closer to where you came up.

847
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,919
Speaker 3: Yes, where I came where I grew up, and so yeah,

848
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,840
Speaker 3: I bought that place. It was sort of like I

849
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 3: don't even know how to sould, but it was like, well,

850
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,879
Speaker 3: I can afford it. I do afford it, so I'm

851
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 3: going to go ahead and buy it.

852
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 2: Here's my thing.

853
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 1: I want all my guests to be able to speak

854
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: for you guys. So I'm going to need the audience

855
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 1: to show us all some grace and everyone everyone is

856
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: simply speaking from their perspective. Tim has worked look at

857
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 1: me defend, I'm like hold on. Tim has worked very

858
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: hard for the life and the lifestyle he has. Okay,

859
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: so he could afford another place, yeah, bopping my head. Yeah,

860
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:03,760
Speaker 1: and so you got another place.

861
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I bought this other place and uh and

862
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 3: so I figured I just wanted to be in Detroit.

863
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 3: I wanted to be in Michigan. I want to be

864
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 3: near my family.

865
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

866
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,800
Speaker 3: So I just sort of made it my hub a

867
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 3: lord stand up and everything. It's easier for me to

868
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 3: fly around the country.

869
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 1: And so, yeah, wherever it is you want to go. Now,

870
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 1: do you how many children do you have? I should

871
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,360
Speaker 1: have asked this earlier.

872
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,320
Speaker 4: But yeah, I have two two boys.

873
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 2: Two boys.

874
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 1: Okay, it was giving two boys, but I didn't know

875
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 1: if we were leaving out a daughter or.

876
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 2: Some kind of life.

877
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 4: Only have the one family.

878
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 1: Okay, one just it's just one for you, okay, yeah

879
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: any time.

880
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, the one time when when I when I got

881
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 3: divorced or and everything one I and I relived this

882
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 3: moment over in my head so many times. But I

883
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:50,839
Speaker 3: was dropping my boys off to their moms and then

884
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 3: my youngest and they were young, cute, and my young

885
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,399
Speaker 3: my oldest son, Isaiah, he went in, he was they

886
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 3: both hugged me and and he went in and he said, wait, dad,

887
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 3: and he went grabbed the toy, one of his toys,

888
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 3: brought it.

889
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 4: Out and gave it to me, and he goes, I

890
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 4: want you to give this to your other family.

891
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 3: I almost started crying. I said, you are my only family.

892
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 3: There's nobody else, and when I go home, I just

893
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 3: think about you guys.

894
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:25,760
Speaker 4: There's nobody else and there never will be another family. Angel.

895
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 2: Wait, what what do you think made him say that?

896
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Yeah,

897
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:36,439
Speaker 2: I don't want to place blame or I understand, I see,

898
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:37,480
Speaker 2: I see, okay, yeah, but.

899
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 3: I just but it was the sweet and I just thought, like,

900
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 3: and that's the kind of giddy is too man? Now,

901
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 3: he's that kind of man like he was got through

902
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 3: his pain of it, and the next level for him

903
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 3: was like, I want to make you happy.

904
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 4: And whoever you wherever you're going, I want you to

905
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 4: be happy with that too.

906
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:02,240
Speaker 2: That is very sweet.

907
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 4: Yeah. I love my boys.

908
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,839
Speaker 2: Oh good, that's amazing.

909
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: I mean, did you care in terms of career path

910
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 1: for each of them? And I heard you joke that

911
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 1: you know you didn't want your son to get into comedy,

912
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,799
Speaker 1: and so he's studying music now in ernest, did you

913
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: care what they chose to do for work or what

914
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:22,800
Speaker 1: they're pursuing.

915
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 3: No, I didn't, and I don't even now, Like you know,

916
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 3: I think the thing I'm trying not to do is

917
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 3: like push them along and like go you know, he

918
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 3: called this person.

919
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 4: They can and they'll give you a g I'm trying

920
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 4: to let them like achieve things.

921
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 3: On their all through their own you know, network and

922
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 3: stuff like that.

923
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 2: That's important.

924
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 3: But I yeah, my oldest son did some open mic

925
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 3: nights okay, kind of stand up and.

926
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 2: Stuff, okay, okay.

927
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 4: In his room he said he did pretty good.

928
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he's always acted like all through high school

929
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 3: and when he was younger too, he always did well.

930
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 3: He always got either the co lead and he always

931
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 3: played the bad guy to Richard.

932
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 2: Does he sounds tender to me?

933
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 4: Giving you the He is very tender, but he is.

934
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 1: He's thick eyebrows though, Okay, the eyebrows when you know,

935
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: when you do think of a villain, you think thick

936
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 1: guy brow. Okay, So, and then your youngest what is

937
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:21,720
Speaker 1: his passion?

938
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 3: Seemingly his passion is music, awesome, I mean, the oldest

939
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 3: one is into oldest one is into law.

940
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 2: Understand that's why the DC of it all, okay.

941
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then the younger one is into music and

942
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:41,879
Speaker 3: art and yeah, he's really good too, very proud of him.

943
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 3: He does his own recordings and puts out music and and.

944
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 2: He surprised me went too.

945
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:46,839
Speaker 1: He.

946
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,800
Speaker 3: I was like, I knew he loved art and I

947
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 3: but he never really like show me stuff or okay,

948
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 3: music for me. He was really kept it quiet, you know.

949
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 3: And then one day he told me like, oh, I

950
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 3: got to do a self portrait from my class, and

951
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,439
Speaker 3: so I was like, okay, you know, good, good luck.

952
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 3: And then the next day I was like in his

953
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 3: room cleaning up stuff, and I opened his notebook and

954
00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:15,240
Speaker 3: he had done an amazing self portrait of himself in pencil.

955
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 5: Well, and I had never seen his artwork before. Wow wow,

956
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 5: And I was like, you are I told him you

957
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:25,799
Speaker 5: are good, right, It's really good right right, And so

958
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 5: after that, I.

959
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 3: Was just like I'm going to like, I will support you.

960
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 3: I'm not going to be like one of those parents

961
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 3: of like, you know, maybe you should get a business

962
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 3: degree on the side saying no, you you're good, like.

963
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's incredible.

964
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 1: Do you think part of your accepting what it is

965
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 1: your children want to do and accepting their passion and

966
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 1: encouraging them to pursue their passion has to do with

967
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: the fact that you are successful and can afford that

968
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,080
Speaker 1: second third house or do you think you would.

969
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: Have been that way regardless.

970
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 4: I think I would have been that way regardless.

971
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I think even.

972
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 3: You know, like you know, like we're in the same business. Yeah,

973
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 3: I am not Adam Sandler. I'm not Chris Rock. I

974
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 3: don't have those careers. And my kids recognize that, you

975
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 3: know what I.

976
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 2: Mean, right, They're like, my dad is not Chris Rock.

977
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 3: Yes, And so they know, like there's a limit. We're

978
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 3: not going to have six houses.

979
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 1: And these are like we're talking each of these these houses.

980
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 1: Moderate we're four bedrooms, five macs, Okay.

981
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 2: Three bathrooms, maybe a swimming pool.

982
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: Right maybe, and only one of them could have a

983
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,479
Speaker 1: swimming pool. I understand, I see what we're talking.

984
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, But they know, like when it comes to

985
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 3: the like picking order a showpiz that like I'm you know,

986
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 3: I'm in the middle to the you know wherever. But

987
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 3: they and so they have a good understanding of like

988
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 3: the reason I work hard and the reason I work

989
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:53,479
Speaker 3: so much.

990
00:45:54,960 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 4: So I think even if I wasn't doing this, I

991
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:01,959
Speaker 4: think they would still get the same.

992
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 3: Example, if I was any teacher or an astronaut or whatever,

993
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 3: it would be like dad works all the time, and

994
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 3: he's always he loves his job.

995
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: Beautiful.

996
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,360
Speaker 1: Now, you said something already about the public aspect of

997
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 1: our job. Thus your children have access to stories unless

998
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,479
Speaker 1: you're trying to stay out of the way as a result. Now,

999
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 1: given what you just said about Adam Sandler and Chris

1000
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: Rock's careers and the fact that yes, of course.

1001
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 2: Of course you didn't say anything back, I want.

1002
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: People to talk really and let's not misconstruing folks. Okay,

1003
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,960
Speaker 1: at least I'm not misconstruing you here, But when you

1004
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: speak about their careers and where yours is, I feel like,

1005
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,839
Speaker 1: as an artist, as a comedian, as a performer, even

1006
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: saying artist, I kind of roll my eyes a little

1007
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 1: bit because I'm like, we just sketch comedy, thank you.

1008
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 2: Well.

1009
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: I think that like there's such a vulnerability to what

1010
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 1: we do in the fact that it is public, and

1011
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 1: when something succeed that's public. When something fails, that's public.

1012
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 1: When something is mid that's public. Do you feel any

1013
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 1: sort of discomfort around the fact that your kids can

1014
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 1: see where you fall in that pecking order?

1015
00:47:14,480 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 3: No, Okay, I don't because one, I don't think they

1016
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 3: really care about.

1017
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 4: The failure or success of projects that I'm in sure.

1018
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 3: But I do think they care about how I do

1019
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 3: in the project, right, you know, I think they want like, when.

1020
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 4: If they go see me in something, they want me

1021
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,439
Speaker 4: to be good at it, you know, right.

1022
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 2: So I don't I don't have.

1023
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 4: That concern of them seeing something be a bomb.

1024
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 2: Okay. And also I kind of feel like I feel like.

1025
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,920
Speaker 1: You can I say it, I could see it in

1026
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: your eyes.

1027
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 3: Well, I feel like there's no real bad choices because

1028
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 3: even and this is my perspective after having been in

1029
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,919
Speaker 3: showbiz for a while, is that it just doesn't matter

1030
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 3: mm hmmm.

1031
00:48:01,239 --> 00:48:02,240
Speaker 4: And something is a.

1032
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:06,399
Speaker 3: Success, it'll be a success for three weeks, right, and

1033
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 3: then you're on to the next thing. If it's something

1034
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 3: is a failure, it's a failure for four weeks and

1035
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:14,439
Speaker 3: then you're on to the next thing.

1036
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:18,359
Speaker 4: And so all you Chris Rock gave me the Chris

1037
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 4: Rock back to Chris Rock.

1038
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,480
Speaker 3: If you gave me the best advice and I've said

1039
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 3: it to my kids and it's very fucking typical and easy.

1040
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 3: Knows to the grindstone. Mm hm, put your nose to

1041
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 3: the grindstone.

1042
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 4: Just work, don't worry. Don't look up and worry about

1043
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 4: the thing they succeeded, the being it failed.

1044
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 3: You got coming up. Just put your nose to the

1045
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 3: grindstone and work. And that's what I've done. And people

1046
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:48,600
Speaker 3: will say to me like, oh, I saw you and

1047
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 3: blah blah blah, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot that.

1048
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 3: I did that because you had your nose to the grindstone.

1049
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 4: YEA.

1050
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 3: My on just focusing on the work itself and not

1051
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 3: focusing on the success or failure of things, because.

1052
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 4: I really do believe like in the long run, it

1053
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 4: doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

1054
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 1: Speak about the Bible that's ecclesiastic and Lauren Hill and

1055
00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 1: D'Angelo nothing even matters, which is one of my favorite

1056
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 1: songs because it's a fact.

1057
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 4: They is mine to I know that song.

1058
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 1: It's refreshing to hear that. Because I don't have children.

1059
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,560
Speaker 1: I'm on SNL. I am my dog does not give

1060
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,400
Speaker 1: a damn if a sketch bombs or if its goes viral,

1061
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: and that's refreshing to hear. And I always wondered what

1062
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 1: it would be like to have a family or you know,

1063
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 1: I hear about the pressure parents put on themselves to

1064
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 1: achieve and to succeed and the ways they want their

1065
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: children to view them, And I always wonder, just being

1066
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 1: in the public eye, what that's like when it's like, Okay,

1067
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: your kids are old enough to see all of this

1068
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: stuff and see the work you do. And so that's

1069
00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:49,800
Speaker 1: refreshing to hear that. It's like, I know it doesn't matter,

1070
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:50,800
Speaker 1: and it.

1071
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 3: Doesn't and mainly because where I am and sort of

1072
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 3: a thing too, is like none of the projects, that

1073
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:57,720
Speaker 3: nothing is dependent.

1074
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 4: On me to be successful or a fail, you know

1075
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:01,399
Speaker 4: what I mean.

1076
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm sort of in.

1077
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 3: The middle round of like if it succeeds, it'll help me,

1078
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 3: I guess for a few weeks and people will be like, oh,

1079
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 3: he was in that successful thing.

1080
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

1081
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 4: So that's the place I am in my career.

1082
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 3: Like I said, I'm not like those guys where I

1083
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,720
Speaker 3: top line the thing and then you know, if it fails,

1084
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 3: they're like, oh it didn't you know, his thing didn't

1085
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 3: do well mm hmm, and I and I sort of

1086
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:25,319
Speaker 3: like being in evil.

1087
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:29,040
Speaker 1: I was gonna say that sounds really lovely. Honestly, I'm

1088
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 1: like you seem so zen. It's probably also the meditation.

1089
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 4: It helps, it helps.

1090
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 2: I love hearing this now.

1091
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 1: Is there something aside from Nose to the Grindstone, something

1092
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 1: that is really important in your mind as a father

1093
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: to your sons for them to know, or something you

1094
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: really want to impart to them. I understand again the

1095
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:52,960
Speaker 1: Nose of the Grindstone. You're it's important to you to

1096
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: show them how the next generation of Meadows show up

1097
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,359
Speaker 1: in the world. But if you could surmise what it's

1098
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 1: really important for you for them to know, what would

1099
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:02,839
Speaker 1: that be?

1100
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:03,799
Speaker 4: It's a good one.

1101
00:51:05,680 --> 00:51:10,280
Speaker 3: I think the first thing is to trust your family

1102
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:17,200
Speaker 3: and keep those people close because they will protect you

1103
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 3: and they will help you, and they will tell you

1104
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,439
Speaker 3: the truth. I mean, if that's one thing I would

1105
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 3: tell them, you know, I want them to remember is

1106
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 3: that they can trust their family and that they're always

1107
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 3: there for you, you know. And then you know the

1108
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 3: other things that I have talked to them and told them,

1109
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 3: like yeah, working hard, working harder than other people, you know,

1110
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 3: be respectful to people that are different from you, caring

1111
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 3: about people that are less fortunate, you know. I mean

1112
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 3: it sounds a very Pollyanna, but I do try to

1113
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 3: like teach them those things through example.

1114
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 4: And nobody's perfect. Also, I'm not perfect.

1115
00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 2: Nobody's perfect, right, Are you disciplinary a tough dad? No,

1116
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 2: I didn't.

1117
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 3: I didn't spank them ever spanked them. And I hit

1118
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:07,840
Speaker 3: both of them on their bottom one.

1119
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: Time, literally, what are you doing?

1120
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,280
Speaker 4: Yeah? It was like whoa, whoa, whoa?

1121
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,440
Speaker 2: Hold on, man, what's up? What's going on?

1122
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:18,719
Speaker 3: When they were younger, they got into a fight one

1123
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 3: time with each other and I like grabbed them both

1124
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 3: and separated them.

1125
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 4: And then I meet one going to the room and

1126
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 4: then I hit his bottom. And then I made another

1127
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:28,320
Speaker 4: going to the other room and then hit his bottom

1128
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 4: on the way in.

1129
00:52:29,719 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 2: It was like a coach, like a good game.

1130
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 3: And then my youngest one, Juliet, like when I hit

1131
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,480
Speaker 3: him on his bottom because I meet him going to

1132
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:40,240
Speaker 3: my room, he went.

1133
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 6: Oh thing, and then it fell on the bed and

1134
00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:50,239
Speaker 6: started he was crying, and I was between laughing and

1135
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 6: crying because the face was so funny.

1136
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 4: But also I knew that I hit his bottom.

1137
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 3: You know.

1138
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1139
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,319
Speaker 3: And then the thing also being a parent is I

1140
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 3: asked them about that and they have no remembrance of

1141
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 3: that whatsoever.

1142
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 5: Okay, they were probably like ate nothing, you know, somewhere

1143
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 5: around that age.

1144
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:10,280
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay.

1145
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:12,359
Speaker 4: And I thought it was.

1146
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 3: Like a traumatic and I'm telling you, I cried that night,

1147
00:53:15,719 --> 00:53:17,359
Speaker 3: like going to bed after they were bed. I was like,

1148
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 3: I damaged him and they me never And then do

1149
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 3: you cut.

1150
00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 4: To now the you don't remember, you don't remember.

1151
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 1: Well, okay, but that's the moment you decided I'm not

1152
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:27,720
Speaker 1: going to be doing that's that's not.

1153
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 3: My bad and it wasn't in me anyways, Like I

1154
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 3: never I never liked the idea because I've seen it.

1155
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:39,319
Speaker 3: I've seen parents, you know, and I was like, I'm

1156
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 3: not going to do that with my kids. I think

1157
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 3: it's fair. I'm bigger than you. But they knew when

1158
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 3: I raised my voice or when I talk to them

1159
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 3: in a certain way like I'm talking right now, I'm

1160
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 3: telling you something.

1161
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 4: Right now, this is I'm serious about it. Don't do

1162
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 4: that again.

1163
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 3: And so yeah, I have to spank them, but they

1164
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 3: definitely and now both of them are over six feet tall.

1165
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, Truyt spanking okay, so all I.

1166
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 3: Was like, it's all just counseling now and just talking

1167
00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 3: to him very respectfully.

1168
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:16,879
Speaker 1: Yes, you can bring out the voices. The voices will

1169
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 1: do it. In my opinion, I didn't really get spanked.

1170
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,359
Speaker 1: Someone once told me I can tell, but.

1171
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think I'm all right.

1172
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:26,720
Speaker 1: But again, without having children myself, I'm like, I really

1173
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: seemed to think.

1174
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 2: And I used to babysit.

1175
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,479
Speaker 1: It was one of my day jobs, and I'd seen

1176
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: the different types of parenting styles in Los Angeles, and

1177
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,719
Speaker 1: I felt like, I really do think you can talk

1178
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: to kids. And I remember I took a psychology of

1179
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: childhood class in college.

1180
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,800
Speaker 2: I just want to sound smart, no.

1181
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 1: But just something I retained from that that was like, yeah,

1182
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 1: kids are smarter than you think, and they understand when

1183
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:53,800
Speaker 1: you're talking to them. And I've done it. I remember

1184
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,480
Speaker 1: babysitting this kid who I love. He just graduated high school.

1185
00:54:57,520 --> 00:54:59,640
Speaker 1: I started babysitting him when he was four years old

1186
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: and he just graduated high school and he's going to UCLA,

1187
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: my rival.

1188
00:55:04,040 --> 00:55:05,759
Speaker 2: But I remember saying to him.

1189
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 1: When he was six or something, he was trying to

1190
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 1: convince me his mom let them have snacks after a

1191
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: certain hour, and I was like, I really don't think so.

1192
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:15,279
Speaker 1: Everything in here is organic, really, And I was like,

1193
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 1: I said to him, can you please stop manipulating me?

1194
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 1: And he said, okay, he dropped it. I literally just

1195
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 1: was like, okay, just got very serious. I'm like, can

1196
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 1: you please stop trying to manipulate me? And he understood,

1197
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:30,919
Speaker 1: he didn't go what's that word? And so I don't

1198
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 1: I don't tend to think it's necessary. Again, without having

1199
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 1: raised children myself, just having had the experience of being

1200
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 1: a child, I don't think so. But I don't tend

1201
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:42,040
Speaker 1: to think it's necessary. So that's interesting to hear from

1202
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 1: you who has have children. How it devastated you seemingly

1203
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 1: more than it devastated this.

1204
00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:48,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it did, it did.

1205
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 4: I was just really like, it's just not for me.

1206
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 2: It's not for me, and that's it. Yeah, you know,

1207
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,799
Speaker 2: And just also just I.

1208
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 3: Don't like making anyone cry.

1209
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 4: He kills me, and so yeah, I got I got

1210
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 4: through that quick. I got through that quick.

1211
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 3: And then when he got older, like and I did

1212
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 3: my son when he was in high school, he was

1213
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 3: already six feet so he's taller than me, and I told.

1214
00:56:13,239 --> 00:56:15,520
Speaker 4: The story on Kobe or whatever, but it was true.

1215
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 3: Like one time I was really angry at him and

1216
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 3: we were talking and he was standing up and he

1217
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 3: was towering over me. I was yelling up at him,

1218
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:28,840
Speaker 3: and I went, go sit over there, you go sit down,

1219
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 3: And then he went over and sit on the couch

1220
00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 3: and I would and stood over him and started going like.

1221
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 2: You and I told you blah blah blah.

1222
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 3: But it was like at one point I was looking

1223
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 3: at him like he could just reach over and just

1224
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 3: punch me on top of the head and pound me

1225
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:43,960
Speaker 3: to the ground like a cartoon.

1226
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,160
Speaker 2: That's so funny.

1227
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:46,920
Speaker 1: Said, do you think he knew why you were like,

1228
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: sit down, go sit down, because you immediately started towering.

1229
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1230
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,120
Speaker 3: And he was also he was a water polo player,

1231
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 3: so he was just not an ounce of fat on

1232
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,400
Speaker 3: him and just muscular.

1233
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 1: And oh man, now I know Tim. It sounded like

1234
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 1: I was wrapping things up when I ask you for

1235
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:07,399
Speaker 1: the whatever you tell your children that or you want

1236
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,880
Speaker 1: to impart to your children, sounds like I was wrapping

1237
00:57:09,920 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 1: up when I was doing asking you about that. But

1238
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 1: then I just had to know, do you spreak these boys?

1239
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 1: So thank you for indulging me there. Now I end

1240
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:21,440
Speaker 1: every episode asking each of my dad's you are my

1241
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 1: dad now for a piece of you know, you need

1242
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 1: a daughter, you need a daughter.

1243
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:27,720
Speaker 4: I think every man should have a daughter.

1244
00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:29,959
Speaker 1: I think every man should have a daughter because somebody

1245
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 1: I'll be acting up. Okay, which also I have this

1246
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 1: weird theory. It's not real, but that I go, Oh,

1247
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 1: anytime a man has only daughters, he has done some

1248
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 1: dirt and God is lostic.

1249
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 2: Yeah you have some girls. Okay, but.

1250
00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 1: Right, But I end each episode asking my guests for

1251
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 1: a piece of advice. And so in your case, given

1252
00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 1: that you have worked at s an and you know

1253
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 1: what that's like, and that's what I currently am, a

1254
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 1: piece of advice I'd like to ask you is how

1255
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: do you manage being a veteran on the show when

1256
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:15,920
Speaker 1: you feel like you've exhausted all your ideas and you've

1257
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: done all the funny stuff and you're not going to

1258
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,480
Speaker 1: be able to top it after in my case going

1259
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:26,800
Speaker 1: into seven years, you did ten I believe, right, yeah, yes,

1260
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 1: how do you manage that? What is something you could

1261
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 1: share with me that might be helpful?

1262
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 3: Well, I would make a list of my recurring characters, okay,

1263
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,440
Speaker 3: and then I would say, I'm going to do those

1264
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 3: twice a year or three times a year, separating them

1265
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 3: over the number of shows. And then the other thing

1266
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 3: I would do is start depending on the writers to

1267
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 3: come up with some sketches. I think I would start

1268
00:58:57,360 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 3: doing that more. And then I think I would also

1269
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 3: just get used to the idea of being light on

1270
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 3: the show from week to week, just tim you know,

1271
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:11,959
Speaker 3: I know, just except the fact that some younger people

1272
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 3: are coming in and they're hungry, and they're new and shiny,

1273
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,160
Speaker 3: new and shiny, and then you got great ideas and

1274
00:59:19,280 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 3: characters you haven't seen yet. And I would say two,

1275
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 3: start working with those people too. Become with Garth in

1276
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 3: somebody's Wayne's world.

1277
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 2: Okay.

1278
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 1: This is so helpful. It's also fascinating to hear from

1279
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 1: your perspective how you were you're able to manage recurring characters,

1280
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:42,400
Speaker 1: because now with YouTube, it's insane and people are kind

1281
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 1: of like, we've seen it. If we want to see it,

1282
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: we can go online and see it. So how long

1283
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:50,160
Speaker 1: you're able to stretch those recurring characters out now feels

1284
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 1: so much different, so much more difficulty than it's shorter.

1285
00:59:54,760 --> 00:59:55,920
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah.

1286
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: And then in terms of the writers coming up with ideas,

1287
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: it's so fascinating because you feel like, I hope you

1288
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 1: come up with something for me. You probably want to

1289
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 1: come up with something for the new Shiny. You start

1290
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: to feel like, you know, I wonder if this is

1291
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: how older people feel in the world in life, where

1292
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: it's like I'm not the I'm not the shiny, the

1293
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:13,880
Speaker 1: shiny baby anymore.

1294
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 2: I'm not that young thing.

1295
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna say I think you're great, thank you,

1296
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 3: thank you for watching you on the show.

1297
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:21,680
Speaker 4: I'm all anything I will say about you that you

1298
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 4: have going for you. Also is your versatility.

1299
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 3: You're very versatile and like you can do it all

1300
01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 3: game you know, I'm saying like game shows, you.

1301
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 4: Know what I'm saying, like, yeah, yeah, things.

1302
01:00:33,040 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 3: A lot of people don't get that those type of casting.

1303
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 4: On that show. And so just continue to do that stuff.

1304
01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 3: And you know, the thing I did too in my

1305
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:45,360
Speaker 3: last couple of years was I didn't care if I

1306
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:48,640
Speaker 3: was a straight guy in the sketch. And sometimes I

1307
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 3: started writing stuff just for other people, you know, and

1308
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 3: I'll be like, Okay, I'm going to write a sketch

1309
01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:57,480
Speaker 3: for you know, Sherry and Tan or something.

1310
01:00:57,520 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 2: You know.

1311
01:00:57,840 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's so helpful and all so very kind

1312
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 1: of you. Thank you, Thank you so so much. I

1313
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 1: love when I love when my dad for the day compliments.

1314
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.

1315
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 1: To hear it from dad is I don't get to

1316
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:14,800
Speaker 1: This is amazing. This is why I have the podcast.

1317
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:15,959
Speaker 1: Thank you so much.

1318
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 2: Tim. I really appreciate you.

1319
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 1: I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability on this episode.

1320
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 2: It means a lot to me.

1321
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 1: I know it's going to mean a lot to people

1322
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,680
Speaker 1: who are listening as well. Lath In Meadows, I hope

1323
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 1: you listen to this because your brother loves the hell

1324
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: out of you. Same with your kids. Is there anything

1325
01:01:35,480 --> 01:01:38,880
Speaker 1: you'd like to plug right now? Please do take this opportunity.

1326
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 3: Okay, Well I'm going I'm touring all of the country

1327
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:45,160
Speaker 3: doing stand up okay, and I'm going to I'm in

1328
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 3: the new season of Peacemaker on Max Okay, so I'll

1329
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 3: be doing that and I'm going to Lanta to finish

1330
01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 3: doing that.

1331
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 4: This seat right now, okay, and a.

1332
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:59,040
Speaker 3: Movie coming out on Netflix or on Christmas time with

1333
01:01:59,120 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 3: Lindsey lowehand great, and I'm in the Pharral Musical movie

1334
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,640
Speaker 3: from Universal coming out later this year.

1335
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 2: Incredible. What's that one called? Do we know?

1336
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 3: I don't know what they call it, but it's the

1337
01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 3: Ferrall bio.

1338
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:17,520
Speaker 2: Okay, incredible, great, great, amazing.

1339
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 3: It's got a green cast and I'm looking forward to

1340
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:21,200
Speaker 3: seeing it.

1341
01:02:21,520 --> 01:02:25,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, same, same, Oh my goodness. Guys, go check Tim

1342
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 1: out on tour. Look out for him in the new

1343
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 1: Lindsay Lowhand movie on Netflix and the Parral Musical biopic.

1344
01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm very excited for you. I'm excited to

1345
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,840
Speaker 1: see you in more. I'm excited to see you. Stay

1346
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 1: out of the news. Please stay out of the news.

1347
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 1: If I see your name pop up on anything besides

1348
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 1: the trade, I'm gonna I'm scared.

1349
01:02:47,320 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 4: If you did.

1350
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 2: And that's what you tell your boys, and that's what

1351
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:50,840
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell my listeners. It's not true. If you

1352
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 2: heard it, it wasn't it's not.

1353
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:56,080
Speaker 1: He didn't do it, not Tim. Thank you again for

1354
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:58,920
Speaker 1: for being here. Tim, Thank you guys for listening. I

1355
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 1: may go odam and Tim Meadows has been my dad

1356
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 1: for the day.

1357
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:06,040
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you.

1358
01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 4: Thanks.

1359
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 1: Dad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me

1360
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:13,440
Speaker 1: aego Wodhem. The show is produced and edited by Anita

1361
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 1: Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Kanevskaya, with

1362
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:20,840
Speaker 1: executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of

1363
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:24,040
Speaker 1: Content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason Mathaney for our show

1364
01:03:24,160 --> 01:03:27,480
Speaker 1: art and Faris Monschi for our theme song. For more

1365
01:03:27,560 --> 01:03:31,360
Speaker 1: podcasts by Headgum, visit headgum dot com or wherever you

1366
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on

1367
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just maybe we'll read it on

1368
01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:40,680
Speaker 1: a future episode

1369
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:44,400
Speaker 4: That was a hit gum podcast