Speaker 1: All from John, John? John?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up?
Speaker 3: It is John? Oh Man, I'm on.
Speaker 4: How does that make you feel to be on?
Speaker 3: I feel very special right now?
Speaker 4: Really, do you often feel unseen?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Unheard?
Speaker 1: Maybe?
Speaker 4: What do you want people to hear? John?
Speaker 3: I had a nightmare. I was like fifteen and I
Speaker 3: had a dream that I was having anal sex with
Speaker 3: my best friend Andrew, and I was given it to him.
Speaker 3: And I'm straight and he's straight as far as I know.
Speaker 3: And the next time I saw him it was real awkward.
Speaker 4: Did you tell him about the dream?
Speaker 3: I didn't tell him about the dream. I thought it
Speaker 3: was a little weird. It took like a year for
Speaker 3: me to stop tickets and thought, do.
Speaker 4: You still talk to your friend that you had the
Speaker 4: dream about?
Speaker 3: He died like no joke. He died like ten years ago.
Speaker 4: Sorry to hear that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a bummer. He was a real nice guy,
Speaker 3: real nice guy, and.
Speaker 4: He died without every knowing that you had to stream
Speaker 4: about him?
Speaker 5: Is true?
Speaker 3: That is true. It's probably for the best.
Speaker 4: How old was he when he died? If you don't
Speaker 4: mind me.
Speaker 3: Asking, Oh, he was thirty, right about thirty?
Speaker 4: Do you mind me asking what happens.
Speaker 3: I believe he had a cancer.
Speaker 4: Were you with him, were you like in contact with
Speaker 4: him when he was dying?
Speaker 3: Not really. He was like a childhood friend, you know,
Speaker 3: and then I moved away when I was like a teenager,
Speaker 3: and we still kept in touch but didn't see each
Speaker 3: other a lot except every few years. So I you know,
Speaker 3: it was a bummer, but you know, he wasn't a
Speaker 3: close friend at that point.
Speaker 4: You know, I think ultimately I agree with you. I
Speaker 4: don't think that there would have been any situation in
Speaker 4: which it would have been the right thing to do
Speaker 4: to you know, on this man's deathbed, as he's slowly
Speaker 4: dying of cancer, tell him that when you guys were kids,
Speaker 4: you had a dream about having anal sex with him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that time especially would have been poor. It would
Speaker 3: have been poor timing, certainly. Yes.
Speaker 4: Well, John, you made a good decision and I'm proud
Speaker 4: of you.
Speaker 3: Thank you. And you know what, you made a good
Speaker 3: decision doing what you're doing. I loved your show, discovered
Speaker 3: it on Friday, loving it, just loving it. Keep doing it.
Speaker 4: Thank you, man. I appreciate that very much. Man. You
Speaker 4: have a good night, John. And uh, you know what
Speaker 4: if you have any dreams about me, You can tell
Speaker 4: me if you want to.
Speaker 3: Mind, I'll let you know, no matter how weird it is,
Speaker 3: all right, man, I love you. I love you too,
Speaker 3: stay weird.
Speaker 4: Hello?
Speaker 5: Hello?
Speaker 4: What's your name?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 3: Isaiah?
Speaker 4: Isaiah?
Speaker 5: What's going on?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 4: Not a whole lots going on with me?
Speaker 5: You know the same thing over here?
Speaker 4: What are you doing right now, Isaiah?
Speaker 5: Well, right now, I'm just getting back from work, cooling
Speaker 5: in the bed, you know, enjoying my day. Watch Eastory.
Speaker 4: Where do you work?
Speaker 5: Work in the tacoh the cashier?
Speaker 4: All right, how thankful are you that you don't work
Speaker 4: at a fucking McDonald's right now?
Speaker 5: Actually, it's a funny story about that. See, I was
Speaker 5: gonna go to the goddamn McDonald's across the street from
Speaker 5: my taco bell, but uh, the boss of the taco
Speaker 5: bell said that we have sort of a crusty crab
Speaker 5: and a chump bucket type of rivalry with the McDonald's
Speaker 5: across the street. He said that one of the managers
Speaker 5: came over there and started a fight with him. So
Speaker 5: now every time we see a McDonald's person, it's pretty
Speaker 5: much broad in the street.
Speaker 4: You know what, I'm saying, who usually wins Taco.
Speaker 5: Bell because of the best look mine, it's on site.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying. It Uh we say, we
Speaker 5: say m DK, it's m DK. That's McDonald's killers, you
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying. So if we see a McDonald's dough,
Speaker 5: it's over with MCCA. You know you better not come
Speaker 5: out to McDonald's if you see it's in the street,
Speaker 5: cause it's over. That's some game.
Speaker 4: Isa Do you see an end to the violence? Do
Speaker 4: you see a light at the end of the time,
Speaker 4: or do you think that this will wage on for indefinitely.
Speaker 5: They need to go apologize to my manager, That's what
Speaker 5: need to have apologize for What what do they do?
Speaker 5: I don't even know. I don't even know, but I
Speaker 5: know that my manager cool, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4: So, Isaiah, you've gotten to Isaiah, you've gotten to a
Speaker 4: critical point in your battle where you've forgotten what you
Speaker 4: were even fighting about.
Speaker 5: Man, I never knew, Okay, if.
Speaker 4: You never knew what what has been driving you? I mean,
Speaker 4: what has been motivating you to fight? Because you're you
Speaker 4: sound like a valiant soldier. Soldier, Isaiah, you sound like
Speaker 4: you you if I were building an army, I would
Speaker 4: want you leading my front line. You valiantly defend the
Speaker 4: honor of Taco Bell for absolutely no reason, and I
Speaker 4: want I want to get to a reason, Isaiah.
Speaker 5: You know, I feel like it comes from uh my,
Speaker 5: your backgrounds. You know what I'm saying. I didn't do
Speaker 5: it my time. I'm getting out. I'm trying to do
Speaker 5: my best, but you know, it seems that this, I
Speaker 5: guess you could say gang ship has to follow me,
Speaker 5: and I feel like this is one of the best
Speaker 5: ways to do it. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: So, Isaiah, you this, I don't want I don't I
Speaker 4: don't want you going back in there man, because of
Speaker 4: some dumb because of some fucking McDonald's.
Speaker 6: Dude.
Speaker 4: It's not it's not worth it, Isaiah. I don't want
Speaker 4: you going back.
Speaker 5: Get get. I didn't choose the Taco Bell life. You
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying. Taco Bell life chose me, man.
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: It's in your head, Isaiah.
Speaker 5: Maybe it's in your head, Gig.
Speaker 4: It is in my head. It's you know what it's
Speaker 4: concerned Because I love you and I care about you,
Speaker 4: and I don't want to see you get wrapped up
Speaker 4: in you know, the Taco Bell gang crowd.
Speaker 5: Man, I don't know. I'm through d night. I get
Speaker 5: paid seventy five a hour, So who like dollar or
Speaker 5: some sense I got?
Speaker 4: Would you kill for eight twenty five an hour?
Speaker 5: Man? Shit, I don't know. It depends on the the situation.
Speaker 4: Isaiah, how have you send?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 5: One day, you know, I was with the armies, you
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying. So we was calling who was
Speaker 5: out on the block, you know what I'm saying, myn
Speaker 5: own business. And the dude came and the he w
Speaker 5: he was a dude from somewhere we had never seen.
Speaker 5: We never seen him before, and you know, we lived
Speaker 5: in a very smart community. We seen him everybody before
Speaker 5: a lot of people come through. We know that my name.
Speaker 5: And the dude came and he was talking a lot
Speaker 5: of rob rock like hey, hey, fuck you, Like, why
Speaker 5: why are you?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 5: Why are you looking at me? That's what he would
Speaker 5: say to me and the homies. That's we were walking
Speaker 5: down the street. He said, why are you looking at me?
Speaker 5: Fuck you? I'll kill you. So of course me and
Speaker 5: hoies we walk up to him and well, like, hey,
Speaker 5: what's up? Like it's cranking. What you wanna do?
Speaker 6: He like, I get last thing on here.
Speaker 5: Ah, y'all ain't y'all ain't know nothing, you know what
Speaker 5: I'm saying. So we jump on and we hitting 'em
Speaker 5: and we beat. Now me keep mine.
Speaker 1: I'm drunk.
Speaker 5: I'm almost like a fucky you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: I'm going out my body, so I'm over exaggerating. I'm like, fuck, everybody,
Speaker 5: get up off me. Everybody get up off me mind.
Speaker 5: And then I can get on 'em and I'm on
Speaker 5: top and I take out a knife for 'em.
Speaker 3: Now, this.
Speaker 5: This is where it gets bad because so basically I
Speaker 5: called my initials into his forehead and uh, then of
Speaker 5: course he told the police because you know. And then
Speaker 5: now I'm currently serving a two year progressions or not
Speaker 5: two year three year progressions centers and I've done two
Speaker 5: years so far.
Speaker 4: So so you're not in jail.
Speaker 1: Well I was.
Speaker 5: I only did two muths for it.
Speaker 4: You're not out there carving tbs into McDonald's workers heads,
Speaker 4: are you?
Speaker 5: Nah? Nah na nah nah nah nah?
Speaker 4: So what's nice?
Speaker 5: Yet?
Speaker 4: Ayay? Say yah?
Speaker 5: Shit? Man? I wish I knew. You know, it's hard
Speaker 5: anybody that say it's it's on the stream right now,
Speaker 5: that's you know, younger and you know they probably going
Speaker 5: down the same thing. I don't know, like i'm'a spit
Speaker 5: some words of a knowledge of your life, gag. If
Speaker 5: that's okay with you, Absolutely, yeah, it's not worth me.
Speaker 5: I'm'a tell you right now, it's really not. Don't do it.
Speaker 5: It's it gets real hard, especially when you get out
Speaker 5: and then everybody looking at you like you're crazy, and
Speaker 5: your family think you crazy and your friends think you crazy.
Speaker 5: It really ain't worth me. Shit, I'm geeking like a
Speaker 5: motherfucker trying to be cool, you know, and the guy
Speaker 5: that allow him like them, well right now, well.
Speaker 4: I'm I'm geeking too. Okay, all right, Isaiah, you know,
Speaker 4: thanks for thanks for sharing all that ship and take care,
Speaker 4: stay safe, don't don't walk around too hard with those
Speaker 4: McDonald's kids.
Speaker 5: So I appreciate you. Gud for.
Speaker 1: Paul from Trill too, Frill, Yes, Trill is this get
Speaker 1: it is?
Speaker 7: Oh my god, it's so wonderful to.
Speaker 3: Speak with you.
Speaker 4: It's wonderful to speak to you as well, Phrill.
Speaker 1: Yes, Prill.
Speaker 7: So we're talking about aliens tonight, well.
Speaker 4: Right now we're talking about, well, we were just talking
Speaker 4: about if I was pronouncing your name right, and now
Speaker 4: we're talking about if you were you know, we were
Speaker 4: talking about what we're talking about. But that's the thing,
Speaker 4: you know, what we're talking about. It changes with every
Speaker 4: sentence we exchange between.
Speaker 7: Each other exactly, and we both are and are not
Speaker 7: and we're here and we're on the other side, and
Speaker 7: it's where our consciousness takes us.
Speaker 4: What are you talking about.
Speaker 7: I'm not really sure.
Speaker 4: That's okay, but hey, Phil, but I've.
Speaker 7: Seen enough of you that I think that it's okay
Speaker 7: to not know.
Speaker 4: I'm glad that you feel comfortable not knowing the next
Speaker 4: thing that you're gonna say to me. I think that that's,
Speaker 4: you know, Phil, I don't know if you agree with this,
Speaker 4: but I think that that's kind of I think that's
Speaker 4: kind of, you know, a sign that you know, you're comfortable.
Speaker 4: We're on someone you know you don't have to always
Speaker 4: think about, you know, too hard about what you're gonna
Speaker 4: say next.
Speaker 7: If if you know what you're going to say next,
Speaker 7: all the time, it seems like everything's too rehearsed. And
Speaker 7: then it's like, are you in a play. Are you
Speaker 7: even real yourself? And I'm not rehearsing this, I'm just
Speaker 7: sort of it's sort of a stream of consciousness ramble,
Speaker 7: which I feel comfortable consciously rambling with you.
Speaker 4: Someone wants to know why am I a gecko?
Speaker 7: Are you really a gecko? Is part of your consciousness?
Speaker 7: Truly a gecko? Because that's okay. But in other respects,
Speaker 7: you're a man in a gecko suit.
Speaker 4: So you're implying that you know, physically, I'm a man
Speaker 4: in a gecko suit.
Speaker 7: It's possible that you're a man in a gecko suit.
Speaker 7: But it's also possible that you could be a gecko
Speaker 7: who has attained consciousness to the and the ability to speak.
Speaker 7: It's not in a cheesy, I want to say, not
Speaker 7: in a cheesy advertisement kind of way. Let's get that
Speaker 7: out of the way. It could be a hallucination, but
Speaker 7: then life itself.
Speaker 4: Could be hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 4: hold on. You said this could be a hallucination. It
Speaker 4: could be frill Have you ever experienced a hallucination?
Speaker 7: Yes, I have experienced hallucinations.
Speaker 4: What was the last thing you hallucinated?
Speaker 7: Well, the last thing I actually remember hallucinating was that
Speaker 7: I could see the framework underneath the cement sidewalk, and
Speaker 7: I thought that people walking at me were in Halloween costumes,
Speaker 7: but they weren't.
Speaker 4: What kind of Halloween costumes.
Speaker 7: Just sort of distorted humanoid type Halloween costumes.
Speaker 4: Do you think those are the aliens that we're talking about?
Speaker 7: Ah, I don't know if I believe in aliens per se,
Speaker 7: but it could be they could have been aliens. We
Speaker 7: could all be aliens. I could be a fuck being alien.
Speaker 4: I think you could be a fucking alien.
Speaker 7: I think that would be pretty cool if I was
Speaker 7: a fucking alien. But the only problem is, well, the
Speaker 7: only problem is if I am an alien, I'm not
Speaker 7: aware of it, and so I think.
Speaker 3: That would be a bad thing.
Speaker 4: Why would it be bad? Okay, I feel like we're
Speaker 4: getting somewhere with this. So you're saying it would be
Speaker 4: cool to be an alien, but it would be bad
Speaker 4: to be an alien and not know you're an alien exactly.
Speaker 7: It would be a matter of sort of being unaware
Speaker 7: of my true self.
Speaker 4: Do you think, actually this is a question I have
Speaker 4: for you, Lady Frill, I don't know, I don't I
Speaker 4: don't know if your name is Lady Frill. I think
Speaker 4: I might have seen someone say that your name was
Speaker 4: Lady Frill the chat. If your name is a lady Frill,
Speaker 4: it'd be a cool name for like a you know,
Speaker 4: a gamer tag or something. If you don't know if
Speaker 4: to play call duty.
Speaker 3: But Frill, I'll deal with that. Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 4: Do you think you could decide to be an alien
Speaker 4: and then one?
Speaker 7: I believe that if your will was strong enough, you
Speaker 7: could decide to be whatever you wanted to be. Now,
Speaker 7: it's not that the rest of society would accept you
Speaker 7: for that, but.
Speaker 4: Yes, if you could decide to be anything you wanted, Frill,
Speaker 4: what would you want to be?
Speaker 7: I think I'd like to be a mushroom growing in
Speaker 7: a nice deciduous forest and some beautiful moss, maybe by
Speaker 7: the side of a lake, with some trees towering above me.
Speaker 7: Not necessarily a psilocybic mushroom, mind you, Perhaps just a beautiful,
Speaker 7: benevolent mushroom, maybe a tasty mushroom.
Speaker 6: It would all be It's great.
Speaker 7: It would be a life cycle thing, the cycle of life.
Speaker 4: Do you think there is a possibility that you are
Speaker 4: a mushroom right now but you aren't aware?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 7: I do believe that I believe that anything is possible.
Speaker 7: I believe that any part of our lives could be
Speaker 7: a dream, and any part of our dreams could be
Speaker 7: our actual lives. Or it could be a bunch of shit,
Speaker 7: we could be nothing. It's all cool because it is
Speaker 7: what it is, and nobody can know.
Speaker 3: Exactly what it all is.
Speaker 7: Except perhaps you, because you're the therapy gecko.
Speaker 4: Well look, I don't know if you're a mushroom or
Speaker 4: if you're an alien, or if you're if you are
Speaker 4: the therapy gecko. Perhaps if you are, you know, a
Speaker 4: man or a woman in a gecko suit. But but
Speaker 4: I think you could be. It could be whatever you want.
Speaker 4: And you know that's a good message to you know,
Speaker 4: send home to the kids. I appreciate you bringing that
Speaker 4: message onto the stream, sharing it with everyone here.
Speaker 7: I appreciate the opportunity, and I send all my best
Speaker 7: thoughts and my love to you. And I feel like
Speaker 7: I've taken enough of your time, so I will I
Speaker 7: will leave so that somebody else can avail themselves of
Speaker 7: your your knowledge.
Speaker 4: I love you very much, Phril. I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: Take care O Caul.
Speaker 2: From Wednesday, when's they can ask you a question.
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, have you ever had a vision? Dude?
Speaker 8: That's why I called.
Speaker 4: Hit me Wednesday?
Speaker 8: Okay, okay, stay with me.
Speaker 4: I'm with you.
Speaker 8: I never left I. I've always had this theory that
Speaker 8: I'm a witch. Okay, So a couple of times I've
Speaker 8: thought about people and then that day I learned that
Speaker 8: they're dead. So, like, one time there was this there
Speaker 8: was this young girl on vine. Her name was Emma,
Speaker 8: not Emma, I think Emma Greer. She went by Greer mostly.
Speaker 8: She had cancer. I followed her for a long time.
Speaker 8: Knew she had cancer, you know, but she was doing okay.
Speaker 8: Kind of kind of fell off of her for a minute,
Speaker 8: and then one day I just randomly thought about her,
Speaker 8: and I like went to her Instagram and she had
Speaker 8: died that same day.
Speaker 2: Who's the other one.
Speaker 8: I was like in class just talking to my friends
Speaker 8: about my grandpa because he was really weird. I was
Speaker 8: just telling him lots of stories about him. One time
Speaker 8: he ran into a steak and shake with his car,
Speaker 8: and I like, I like telling that story because that's funny.
Speaker 1: Shit.
Speaker 6: We were just.
Speaker 8: Talking about him whatever whatever, And then I go home
Speaker 8: and that day my dad is like, got some bad news.
Speaker 8: Grandpa died and like he wasn't that big of a
Speaker 8: part of my life, Like I didn't really talk about
Speaker 8: him normally, but that day I spent an entire class
Speaker 8: period talking about my grandpa. And then same day, no
Speaker 8: many died.
Speaker 4: And so because of these you think you're a witch
Speaker 4: or that you might be a witch.
Speaker 8: This is where's gonna fall off, and everyone's gonna think
Speaker 8: that it's crazy. But I have had two boyfriends who
Speaker 8: I've gotten messy breakups with, and both of them, within
Speaker 8: like a week after us breaking up, have wrecked their cars.
Speaker 4: So you're making me like scared to talk to you.
Speaker 4: I'm scared, Like now I feel like something's going to
Speaker 4: happen to me.
Speaker 8: No, don't worry, I won't manifest it. I think I
Speaker 8: think that's the problem.
Speaker 4: Okay, well hold on now, Well now I'm a little
Speaker 4: Now I'm a little freaked out because what do you
Speaker 4: mean you won't man Does that mean no?
Speaker 8: No, no, no Nocause you're.
Speaker 4: Saying you won't manifest it implies that you have some
Speaker 4: control over this.
Speaker 8: No, that's that's my fear. That's my fears. I just
Speaker 8: think of these things that might just happen. But so then.
Speaker 4: You don't have controls. You can't promise me anything.
Speaker 8: So I also have a really bad OCD. So if
Speaker 8: I just I've convinced myself, if I just do my
Speaker 8: OCD stuff, then you won't die. So tonight I'll just
Speaker 8: do my OCD stuff and you're all good.
Speaker 4: Wednesday, you know what. I'm pretty I'm confident that I'm
Speaker 4: not gonna die.
Speaker 1: I'm confident, do you.
Speaker 4: You know, look, if you're about to flip a light
Speaker 4: switch on it off twelve times, and open and close
Speaker 4: a folding chair four times, and stop your feet and
Speaker 4: clap your hands you know you don't have to do
Speaker 4: that stuff for me. I'll I'll be fine either way.
Speaker 4: But I appreciate the sentiment.
Speaker 8: Yeah, no, that was mostly a joke, but I would
Speaker 8: have done I would have done a little OCD tick
Speaker 8: for you.
Speaker 2: You just a little one, all right?
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe phill a fill a bathtub with water and
Speaker 4: then drain it immediately after. Can you do that?
Speaker 8: Uh, that's a lot of work. I was just gonna go,
Speaker 8: like go like walk the front door again.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's fine too.
Speaker 8: Not the train not worth it? But you know, all right?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 4: GEG love you, Love you too, good night Wednesday.
Speaker 1: Bye Caul from Taylor, Taylor, WHOA, I actually got through.
Speaker 4: I know it's I'm surprised. I'm as surprised as you are.
Speaker 6: So I had a little bit of an issue about
Speaker 6: a month ago hit my my fiance and I. We
Speaker 6: went camping with some friends and they brought some edibles
Speaker 6: and we all took probably took a little bit too much,
Speaker 6: and then I lost all perception of time and had
Speaker 6: a high panic attack. But a part of me kind
Speaker 6: of wants to try it again, to relive that moment.
Speaker 4: What do you feel like was enjoyable to you about
Speaker 4: having this panic attack? What were the aspects of it
Speaker 4: that you found endearing, Like.
Speaker 6: Just realizing like that time is such a weird thing,
Speaker 6: Like how in our free time we have so much
Speaker 6: of it, but really there's not enough of it. It
Speaker 6: sounds kind of weird, But that's how I felt at
Speaker 6: the time, So I wanted to relive that feeling. Am
Speaker 6: I weird for that?
Speaker 4: You said that you don't have enough time? What don't
Speaker 4: you have enough time to do?
Speaker 6: I mean, like life is so short, none of us
Speaker 6: have enough time. And I think that's why I went
Speaker 6: into a panic attack.
Speaker 4: Enough time?
Speaker 6: What I want to travel?
Speaker 4: Where do you want to go?
Speaker 6: I'd really like to go to like Japan?
Speaker 4: How old are you?
Speaker 6: Twenty six?
Speaker 4: All right, so you'll be alive by the time that
Speaker 4: you can go to Japan without you know, getting coronavirus.
Speaker 4: So you'll get to do that, all right. What else
Speaker 4: we can get? We can keep going. We can plan
Speaker 4: out your whole life right here. I think you've got
Speaker 4: time to.
Speaker 6: Do it, though.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what what what do you want to do? You
Speaker 4: don't have time to do?
Speaker 3: See, I don't know.
Speaker 6: That's like the crazy thing is you start thinking about
Speaker 6: like people who die young, and it's like, what if
Speaker 6: I get hit by a bus tomorrow, then I didn't
Speaker 6: have enough time?
Speaker 4: You know what? What have you already done?
Speaker 3: I feel like not a lot.
Speaker 4: Well, you had friends because you went camping with them.
Speaker 3: So that's yeah, that's true.
Speaker 4: You got to experience camping. The only thing that I
Speaker 4: know about you is that you went camping with your
Speaker 4: friends once. That's the only information I have about you.
Speaker 4: But even within that, there's there's plenty of stuff. Okay,
Speaker 4: what's another what's another thing that you have done?
Speaker 6: Uh? I went to college, did you enjoy it.
Speaker 3: No, I hated it?
Speaker 4: Okay, well you got you got to hate something, that's true.
Speaker 4: That's a feeling. That is, you got to experience rage
Speaker 4: and frustration upon applying for financial aid. That's a visceral
Speaker 4: human emotion that you've got to experience as a person
Speaker 4: who is alive. All Right, you got to be pissed off.
Speaker 4: You got to go camping, You got to have friends.
Speaker 4: That's like three things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what else?
Speaker 4: What else do you want to do?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 6: I want to have if you.
Speaker 4: Could do anything, you want to have kids. Yeah, you
Speaker 4: got time to do that, that's true. I don't think
Speaker 4: that you can. Can this conversation be a substitute for
Speaker 4: you giving yourself a panic attack intentionally to discover that
Speaker 4: you have time? Can we sub this in for you
Speaker 4: intentionally drugging yourself and causing your self physical harm? Can
Speaker 4: we just can we slide that out and slide this in?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I think that's a good idea.
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 4: Cool? Well, Taylor, I love you and you've inspired You've
Speaker 4: inspired me. I col'm I go camping now too.
Speaker 6: I love you too, man, Thank you?
Speaker 4: Take care of Taylor.
Speaker 9: All right?
Speaker 1: Bye?
Speaker 4: I think I think we got time some people don't.
Speaker 4: Actually they don't have time. Some people have a defined
Speaker 4: amount of time left to live right now. Yeah, those
Speaker 4: people don't have time. But Taylor has plenty of time.
Speaker 4: That guy's already done a bunch of things. And I'm
Speaker 4: and he's only told me like two things that he did,
Speaker 4: So I'm sure that within all the other stuff that
Speaker 4: he's done that he didn't even talk about, you know,
Speaker 4: there's like he's got to have done at least seven
Speaker 4: other things with his life. Then just have friends go
Speaker 4: camping and send a fourth goddamn email to Financial Aid. Hello, Hello,
Speaker 4: what's up?
Speaker 10: Hey, I gotta I got a story I need. I
Speaker 10: just need to talk to someone about kind of weird
Speaker 10: all right?
Speaker 4: Hit me.
Speaker 10: So when I was a kid, I uh I had
Speaker 10: I had this friend that lived down the road right
Speaker 10: and uh, and we would always go reach each other's house,
Speaker 10: and uh it was weird. But but one day I
Speaker 10: had him over and and uh, you know, we kind
Speaker 10: of live out and uh, I wouldn't say the country,
Speaker 10: but you know with places with a little a little
Speaker 10: more property, and uh, there's a snake, dude, and the
Speaker 10: snake did my friend right, And so I just got mad.
Speaker 10: And picked up the snake, and and I naturally hated snakes.
Speaker 10: So I just started whamming this thing around and uh,
Speaker 10: you know, just trying to kill it, and uh, the
Speaker 10: thing wouldn't.
Speaker 3: Die, man.
Speaker 10: So I got up on my roof where I had
Speaker 10: my basketball goal, and I just started whamming this thing
Speaker 10: against the back of my basketball goal, and uh, I
Speaker 10: killed it. But the blood was all over the back
Speaker 10: of my basketball goal. And my friend was no longer
Speaker 10: friends with me anymore because he thought I was a
Speaker 10: serial killer, and my parents thought I was weird, and
Speaker 10: it kind of scarred the both of us as kids.
Speaker 4: Have you told anyone else this?
Speaker 10: No, not besides my friend.
Speaker 4: You mean the friend that was in the story, or
Speaker 4: a different.
Speaker 10: Friend the friend that was in the story, So.
Speaker 4: No one else knows about this. You haven't told anyone
Speaker 4: else in your private life about this?
Speaker 10: No.
Speaker 4: I was too scared, man, What are you scared of?
Speaker 10: I was scared people would think I was weird. I
Speaker 10: just I was just trying to protect my friend.
Speaker 4: I feel like you went a little overboard, though. I
Speaker 4: feel like you protected your friend and then you went
Speaker 4: a little too far because I feel like, here's what
Speaker 4: I think happened in that scenario. You started with one
Speaker 4: set of intentions and you ended with another. You know
Speaker 4: what I'm saying. Yeah, the intentions that you started out
Speaker 4: with were to protect your friend, and in the heat
Speaker 4: of the moment you grabbed that snake. I believe you
Speaker 4: grabbed that snake with the true, pure purpose of protecting
Speaker 4: your friend. But halfway into your first whale of the snake,
Speaker 4: halfway into your first pure intention led whale of this snake,
Speaker 4: it a switch immediately flipped because you felt a sense
Speaker 4: of power as you inflicted pain upon the snake. And
Speaker 4: as soon as you felt that first bit of power,
Speaker 4: the intention that you initially had to protect your friend vanished,
Speaker 4: and in its place grew a new and tension, the
Speaker 4: intention of proving to yourself that you are more powerful
Speaker 4: than a snake, out of possibly some form of insecurity
Speaker 4: that you feel when you look at snakes.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker 4: M I think you should tell a therapist about this.
Speaker 10: Yeah, it's just it's just so weird, you know, man.
Speaker 10: Like I'm I'm genuinely not a weird kid, you know,
Speaker 10: Like I have lots of friends, I do a lot
Speaker 10: of normal stuff, you know, and I have a normal life,
Speaker 10: but it's just just this one story. I don't know,
Speaker 10: it's like the one thing you know, that set separates
Speaker 10: you from from other kids. You know, it's just weird.
Speaker 4: I think the only way you're going to get past
Speaker 4: this is to tell other people, uh yeah, preferably you know,
Speaker 4: you know, uh uh, you know specialists, and you should
Speaker 4: follow whatever council they give you after you tell them. Yeah,
Speaker 4: what'd you say? Your name was?
Speaker 10: Casey?
Speaker 4: All right, Casey. Look, I wish you're the best of
Speaker 4: luck in your future endeavors. And I appreciate you calling
Speaker 4: into the show.
Speaker 10: I appreciate your time. Thanks you share you too, man.
Speaker 10: Bye bye.
Speaker 11: Call from Jackie Jackie, Jackie, you're at a party?
Speaker 4: Or Jackie? Are you're at a party right now?
Speaker 11: Hello?
Speaker 4: Are you at a party right now? You're sounding like
Speaker 4: you're at a party.
Speaker 6: I am not.
Speaker 11: Well, see, I'm not at a bar.
Speaker 1: I'm so this.
Speaker 4: So why are you at a bar right now? Jackie?
Speaker 4: Why are you doing that?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 11: I'm out at the bar now?
Speaker 4: All right, you're out at the bar now?
Speaker 11: I am out?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 4: So why are you on like a patio or something?
Speaker 11: Well? Yes, like it's outdoors? You know, so I'm not
Speaker 11: I'm not inside.
Speaker 4: Wait, so what do you mean you're out? Both of ways?
Speaker 4: How are you? How can we? How can you be out?
Speaker 4: If you are were If you're out now, that means
Speaker 4: that you must have at one point been in.
Speaker 11: Well, so there you know you have to go inside
Speaker 11: and get a get a drink, right, So I went
Speaker 11: in siding out the drink and then I'm outside now.
Speaker 4: And so you're walking down the street.
Speaker 11: Now, I'm just yeah, I'm just perusing, you know, if
Speaker 11: one does, how are you?
Speaker 4: You know? I'm okay, that's good, I'm glad. What what
Speaker 4: made you want to go out to a bar this evening?
Speaker 11: It's socializing?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: Did you meet did you meet any new who? Did
Speaker 4: you meet any new people?
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 11: You're not supposed to No, No, I'm just meeting the
Speaker 11: people I know.
Speaker 4: So you're socializing with people that you already know.
Speaker 11: Yeah, And there's like a man and sitting sitting in
Speaker 11: a in a truck bed across the street from me,
Speaker 11: looking at me like, why are you talking to a getcko?
Speaker 4: But he doesn't know what you're talking to it. He
Speaker 4: doesn't know you're talking to a ge.
Speaker 11: He doesn't yet No, not yet.
Speaker 4: What do you mean are you gonna tell? Are you
Speaker 4: gonna tell him?
Speaker 11: I might yell across the street and seek he knows
Speaker 11: about therapy, get go, you know, during the GEK squad.
Speaker 11: Whatever you are.
Speaker 4: I appreciate the sentiment of that, but I don't want
Speaker 4: you to bother that guy.
Speaker 11: No, they're just chilling. I'm gonna let them. I'm gonna
Speaker 11: let them vibe, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't you know? Don't bother them with that.
Speaker 11: No, they're just in their look.
Speaker 4: If he find if he finds it, that's great, but
Speaker 4: he I don't want to push it on them.
Speaker 11: Oh it's okay, Yeah, No, no pure pressure for the gag.
Speaker 4: Are you okay? Right now? You seem you seem.
Speaker 11: Oh, I am, But that's just my personality. I'm I'm
Speaker 11: not drunk. This is just who I am as a person.
Speaker 11: And that's actually true. You're really good at the long silences.
Speaker 11: I'll give you that. I wish my therapist.
Speaker 5: Did that.
Speaker 4: Tell me about your therapist.
Speaker 11: Oh, she's cool. Her name is Carrie. We talk about
Speaker 11: conspiracy theories and TikTok all the time.
Speaker 4: How long have you been seeing a therapist? For?
Speaker 11: Oh like six months? Probably I think everybody could benefit
Speaker 11: from it.
Speaker 4: You know, do you feel like you have issues in
Speaker 4: your life that are worthy of being talked through with
Speaker 4: a therapist?
Speaker 11: I mean probably we all do. We all have life
Speaker 11: experiences and nobody has like one hundred percent great life.
Speaker 4: What percent would you say your life is at right now? Jackie?
Speaker 11: Oh, it is wonderful. I am so happy. I adopted
Speaker 11: a cat and everything.
Speaker 4: So you got a cat at home? Why why are you?
Speaker 4: Why are why are you going out? Jackie? You sound
Speaker 4: like you have you sound like you have a good
Speaker 4: life at the house.
Speaker 1: Well, so.
Speaker 11: We're we're hanging out with my boyfriend's old roommate and
Speaker 11: his girlfriend and they're great. We're having fun.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie, that sounds pretty boring. But but
Speaker 4: it sounds mainly boring to me because I don't know
Speaker 4: your boyfriend and his college roommate's friends. It might be
Speaker 4: interesting to you because you know them.
Speaker 11: Yeah, I know that's that wouldn't.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't risk going out to a bar to meet them.
Speaker 11: Well, so there's a small portion that's inside, and then
Speaker 11: they're outside and I'm outside.
Speaker 4: You know, jack I think you should go back to
Speaker 4: your friends.
Speaker 11: Okay, and like I'm not. I'm good, but yes, I
Speaker 11: appreciate that you are. You are correct?
Speaker 4: All right, you know, tell them, tell them, I said,
Speaker 4: If you don't, don't, I don't really want to talk
Speaker 4: to him, no offense, all right, Jackie, I love you
Speaker 4: and I'll talk to you.
Speaker 11: Oh you get ci.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little worried about Jackie.
Speaker 4: I'm actually less worried about Jacket. No, actually I'm not. Now, No,
Speaker 4: I'm not worried about Jackie at all. I don't think
Speaker 4: that there exists anything on this earth that could give
Speaker 4: Jackie a bad day. I'm significantly more worried for everyone
Speaker 4: that Jackie comes into contact with for the next two weeks.
Speaker 4: That's a little bit more what I'm worried.
Speaker 2: About, all right, how from Dan, Dan Banjie.
Speaker 3: Angie, Angie Angie.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm calling because I was dropped on
Speaker 9: my head as a kid and not as a joke
Speaker 9: like legitimately, and so I have memory issues, long term
Speaker 9: memory issues. So anything like more than like six weeks,
Speaker 9: I'll completely forget. I was in a like one of
Speaker 9: those high backed bar chairs when I was like two, supposedly,
Speaker 9: and I was pushed back, fell in the back of
Speaker 9: my head on some tile.
Speaker 4: I can't have met. Like, how did your parents react
Speaker 4: when that happened?
Speaker 3: I don't know too.
Speaker 4: Have they, I mean, have they told you? Have you
Speaker 4: talked to them about it at all? Since since then?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 9: Yeah, well, I mean, uh, they were worried. So they
Speaker 9: they called an ambulance and shit, and and I had
Speaker 9: to have like staples put in the back of my
Speaker 9: head to like piece my skull together, and so I
Speaker 9: still have like scars from that on my hairline. So
Speaker 9: they were worried. I think, I guess I'd assume.
Speaker 4: I'd assume as well.
Speaker 9: Have you ever watched I can't remember what the movie
Speaker 9: is called, like one hundred First Dates or something, where
Speaker 9: Adam Sandler goes on and state with his shick who
Speaker 9: forgets everything the next day. You know it is Okay.
Speaker 9: I watched that, and it's such bullshit, I should say,
Speaker 9: based on my own experience, because there's no way you
Speaker 9: can remember something and then you fall asleep in the boom,
Speaker 9: it's all gone. It's more of like a gradual thing.
Speaker 9: But the other day I was hanging out with my
Speaker 9: girlfriend and I was going on about this new game
Speaker 9: among us, and I was like telling her how awesome
Speaker 9: it was, and I was like, we should play it sometime,
Speaker 9: and she looked at me dead in the eye and
Speaker 9: she's like, Angie, we were playing that two days ago.
Speaker 9: I was like, no way, because that's too soon for
Speaker 9: me to forget, Like my memory is pretty good short term.
Speaker 9: And she convinced me, and she like pulled out her
Speaker 9: phone and showed me that she had the app and
Speaker 9: I don't know, I kind of just sat there and walked.
Speaker 9: I kind of like looked at her. I'm like, is
Speaker 9: this shit getting worse? Am I gonna forget?
Speaker 4: Everything? Happen?
Speaker 9: Well, things things that quickly. Not often. It's like normally
Speaker 9: it'll be, uh, someone will talk about something we did
Speaker 9: last year, right, so a long enough time and where
Speaker 9: my hippocampus, which is what was messed up, kind of
Speaker 9: just deletes it all, right, So they'll be talking about
Speaker 9: or I'll see myself in like a picture from a
Speaker 9: camping trick I took three months ago something like that,
Speaker 9: and it'll be me like, I can recognize myself in
Speaker 9: the picture, but I don't know, I can't recall any
Speaker 9: memories from that event or like anything leading up to it.
Speaker 4: How long ago was was was the among us thing
Speaker 4: between when you forgot it and when it happened.
Speaker 9: When we talked about it, it was two days.
Speaker 4: Two days and you and before that you'd never forgotten
Speaker 4: something that was only two days old.
Speaker 9: I mean, shit, I've forgotten things that are like I
Speaker 9: can't remember what I ate for dinner last night unless
Speaker 9: I really think about it. But uh, you know, my
Speaker 9: girlfriend she's a great Yeah, she's a great She's a
Speaker 9: great chick. And like I remember almost everything we do
Speaker 9: for like a pretty long time, so that I feel
Speaker 9: like should have lasted longer.
Speaker 4: Did you talk to a doctor about this? About like
Speaker 4: the like about that the feel that it's getting worse.
Speaker 9: Not about it's getting worse. I kind of have a
Speaker 9: thing with doctors, man, right, So a lot of times
Speaker 9: people have to remind me how, uh like why I
Speaker 9: feel certain ways, But like doctors scare me, and so
Speaker 9: my parents basically.
Speaker 1: Keep you know.
Speaker 9: I have this book that I basically keep and I
Speaker 9: like read it often to remember remind myself about certain things,
Speaker 9: and like the one entry a half for doctors, it's
Speaker 9: just like they tried fixing me. I guess with psychotherapy
Speaker 9: it's kind of like normal therapy, except they try to
Speaker 9: like access your memories, kind of like hypnosis, right, but
Speaker 9: that shit doesn't work, and instead it's just like imagine
Speaker 9: if you were put under hypnosis and they're trying to
Speaker 9: bring you back to a memory, but instead of a memory,
Speaker 9: it was just emptiness, like darkness. There's nothing there, right,
Speaker 9: So you still go there, but instead of remembering stuff,
Speaker 9: you're just non existent.
Speaker 4: So it's like a corrupt file where like you can
Speaker 4: see the file, but you can't open it.
Speaker 9: You know something's there, right, It's like it's it's like
Speaker 9: an emptiness in a box. Right, something's supposed to go there,
Speaker 9: and maybe you can see the outline of it. You
Speaker 9: can't actually like take out the lego set and build it.
Speaker 4: How does memory therapy? What do they do to try
Speaker 4: to access your memories?
Speaker 9: Basically, I was supposed to get all relaxed, close my
Speaker 9: eyes and just like breath deeply, and then they'll they'll
Speaker 9: like walk me through my memory by going like, okay,
Speaker 9: remember last Thursday night was two days ago, think back
Speaker 9: to that night. They just have their little stickies on
Speaker 9: my forehead and on the back of my head, and
Speaker 9: so they measure. I don't know, brain waves, I don't know,
Speaker 9: and they basically like, look at that, ask me stupid questions,
Speaker 9: and then I start saying like nothing, right, and they're like, well,
Speaker 9: just think harder, remember harder. I'm like, the fucks how
Speaker 9: you do that? It's impossible. Start walking through a wall,
Speaker 9: it doesn't work, Try.
Speaker 4: Harder, right, this kind of this might be a corny question,
Speaker 4: and maybe it comes from this weird place, but do
Speaker 4: you feel like the fact that you can't access your
Speaker 4: past as well as most people can gives you allows
Speaker 4: you to live better in the present.
Speaker 9: Sometimes sometimes I listen to people and they'll like, tell
Speaker 9: me a traumatizing story from their past, right, will be
Speaker 9: any number of things. And when I think of being
Speaker 9: in their shoes and like having to remember that every day, Jesus.
Speaker 4: So you're I mean, so you're kind of like would
Speaker 4: you say you're more or less like medically impervious to trauma?
Speaker 9: So yes?
Speaker 4: And no? Right?
Speaker 9: So, like I was talking about with doctors, like going
Speaker 9: into a doctor's office or or talking to someone that
Speaker 9: I know the doctor like gives me anxiety even though
Speaker 9: there's no reason for me to have anxiety, right, Like,
Speaker 9: because I can't remember all these tests they do besides
Speaker 9: the weekly thing. And like Sarah's who's the person I
Speaker 9: see each week. She's like chill, She's just you know,
Speaker 9: she's not that bad. But for whatever reason, like when
Speaker 9: I go on the call, and when I go and
Speaker 9: I sit down, like my hands are all clammy and
Speaker 9: I like kind of start to shake and like breathing
Speaker 9: is hard and and all that, according to them, is
Speaker 9: like past trauma. So it's not that I don't have it,
Speaker 9: it's just like instead of knowing why it's happening, it's
Speaker 9: just kind of just happening, you know.
Speaker 4: Interesting, So you're so you you're not impervious to trauma.
Speaker 4: You just kind of feel it without knowing, without having
Speaker 4: like a place to bring it back to.
Speaker 9: Yeah yeah, yeah. Like so if you watch it moving in,
Speaker 9: they're like, oh shit, something something bad is gonna happen.
Speaker 9: Like that's that's exactly the feeling. It is, like you
Speaker 9: don't know what's behind the dark door in the basement,
Speaker 9: but like you know, if you open that ship, there's
Speaker 9: gonna be something that pops up and bites you. And
Speaker 9: I know people want to get on the phone line,
Speaker 9: So I'm gonna hop off. Let let some people that
Speaker 9: can actually remember ship get on here. But I just
Speaker 9: want to think you get You're amazing. Whoever's on here,
Speaker 9: you guys are amazing. If I remember you later on,
Speaker 9: I'll say hi and uh have a good Winday all
Speaker 4: Right, you have a good night too, Angie, take care man,
Speaker 4: peach out guys, Thanks again for gone goodness.