WEBVTT - Bethenny Frankel and Chris Harrison Dramatic Crossover Event 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:06.000 This is the most traumatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:09.240 Hi, I'm Bethany. 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:11.480 Chris Harrison, Bethany Frankel, and yes we just if you 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.160 listen to the first part with Bethany, I'm glad you 0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.840 clicked over to listen to the rest of the story. 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:20.800 As they say, as we've got to know each other. 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:23.119 What Bethany and I We literally just met about an 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:26.200 hour ago, But I also feel like we're best friends now. 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.200 I feel like that exactly. I've always had this crazy 0:00:29.240 --> 0:00:31.920 amount of love and respect for you, and partially that's 0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:34.159 due to my fiance Lauren Zima, who thinks you are 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:36.879 just the most amazing woman in the world. And she's like, 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:38.720 trust me, you are going to love Bethany when you 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:41.080 get to talk to her, because Lauren interviewed you a 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:43.360 bunch while she was at entertainment tonight. So I am 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:45.199 glad we finally got to talk. And I feel like 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:47.199 this is the first of mini convos we will have. 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:50.000 Yeah, and you'll know that, Yeah, now we know each other. 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:53.360 Don't you think it's interesting that podcasts. Since doing podcasting, 0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:55.480 you can even know someone like you know them through 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.560 the industry. But now until you talk to them through 0:00:57.560 --> 0:00:59.400 this form, do you really know them? Like we talk 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:01.520 superficial people. What restaurant did you go to? What are 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:02.000 you working on? 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:03.120 Not like what? 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:04.399 Yeah? A lot of bullshit. 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:07.120 Everything I hate about La. You know what life is like, La, 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:09.720 Where you're sitting there, you're talking to people, there is 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:12.600 no depth and you're just looking over the person's shoulder 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:13.880 to see who else is in the room that you 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:17.800 can talk to. But podcasts we dive into this stuff. 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:21.240 And one thing that Lauren and I were talking about you, 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:24.120 and it wasn't weird. We weren't in bed at the time, 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:27.000 but we were talking about how parallel our lives are. 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:31.759 We're both engaged. You have a fiance, so do I. 0:01:31.840 --> 0:01:33.560 Yours is a little bit different. Laura and I are 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:35.680 actually going to get married, right. 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:37.000 And similar ages. 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:40.840 Yeah, you're a year a fifty one? And how old 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:41.399 is your fiance? 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:45.720 He's seven years younger, so he's turning So Lauren's younger 0:01:45.760 --> 0:01:48.240 than me? Did I add that wrong? Fifty two? Yeah, 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:50.000 he's all I know is he's turning forty six. Oh 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.480 she's younger too. How old is she? Not to say? 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:57.040 I can say she's thirty five? But did you didn't 0:01:57.080 --> 0:01:59.960 get into this with the idea of we're getting in, 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:01.960 we're gonna get married, you don't really care if you 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:02.440 get married. 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.560 I'm a like, you're with someone and you want to 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:08.800 know how much they're committing to you. And there's like, 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:10.519 and I don't want to say this in the wrong way, 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:12.920 like it's not a goalpost, but it's sort of the 0:02:12.960 --> 0:02:15.200 next step and how serious are we about each other? 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:19.080 And it's a commitment. Also, we're long distance, yeah, so 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:22.920 so there has to be some sort of binding commitment 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.240 to make that worthwhile. It's not been easy, you know, 0:02:26.320 --> 0:02:29.000 to be long distance, but in a way it's also 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:31.799 been easy. It's annoying more than it's not easy, Like. 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:35.880 How do you do it? Well, here's the I assume 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:37.520 you're your East coast. He's West. 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:40.880 No, No, that would be impossible. He's Boston. But it's 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:42.920 still a pain in the ass, like it sounds. It 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.000 might as well be Florida, Ohio. It doesn't matter. You're 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:47.360 still getting in a car four hours or three hours. 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:51.280 So I moved closer in Connecticut to Boston, which does 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:54.680 make a difference when you're driving. But the point that 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.639 I really do want to make is that as when 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:59.720 we're younger, we have these ideals about what it's all 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:02.280 supposed to be. Like it's like, what are we doing 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:03.720 for dinner? And what are we doing here? And we're 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:05.040 one and we go to your parents and we go 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:07.040 to my parents, and we parent the same way and 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:09.160 we do the same right. So when you get into 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:12.240 a relationship when you're older, it's weird and selfish because 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:13.760 you both have your own ways of doing things and 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:16.919 you both have your own life. But if you talk 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.799 to most people that are really successful relationships, they're kind 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.480 of saying, like this person lets me be me, I 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:24.560 let them do them. We have nights with our friends, 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:26.800 we do our own thing, like he travels. I mean, 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:29.320 I hear all these different things. And it kind of 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:33.040 is like a dirty secret that a non traditional relationship 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:36.520 is not is kind of good like some people. I've 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:38.600 read articles where people don't even live in the same place. 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:41.240 That it works because I get my time with him, 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:43.960 my time with my child, my time with my business, 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:46.960 and then our time all together for blending and like 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:49.760 there are these little silos and then there's when everything's together. 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:52.600 So sometimes it sucks because it's like you're always in 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:56.480 the calendar and it's annoying, but you're really free to 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:58.400 do what you're doing and not feel torn when you're. 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:01.480 Not togethern No, it does. We just had this conversation 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:04.280 last night. We were talking about people that live apart 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.840 and that there are even, you know, marriages, longtime marriages 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:11.920 where they don't live together. And I'm like, well, I 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.240 don't want that, like Laura and I do live together. 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:16.920 But I was like, you know what, I get that, 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.280 and she's like, so do I Like, I can totally 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:22.000 see that non traditional thing working. 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:25.640 Because another human being is annoying. They're not you same 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:27.520 no matter what they do is annoying. 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:31.240 And especially what I guess what her point is, or 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:33.400 what the point she made was, especially when you get 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:36.719 to a certain age, right, we get certain ways we are. 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:38.680 I am not an easy human being to live with 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:41.800 anymore at fifty one, because there are things I just 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:45.240 love to do, I want to do and I don't 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:48.040 want to give that up. And yeah, that's selfish and 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:50.359 you do have to compromise. I get it and all that, 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.880 and so does Laurence. She gets it, but we're very 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:56.360 careful about these are the things she loves, which Bravo 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.080 is one of them, and these are things I love. 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:01.440 You can't make a dog a cat, right. Paul falls 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:03.200 asleep a nine thirty at night, Like I'm not out 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:06.679 tripping the life fantastic, right, But we're just different people. 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.279 And I wanted I went to launch my forever young 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.840 wine do a shoot in Santrope and he didn't come. 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:15.040 I used to feel guilty, like not asking him to 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.280 come to do this thing. And it's not for Paul, 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.160 and it's not for me because I don't want to 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:21.000 be doing I don't want to be dragging him around 0:05:21.040 --> 0:05:21.320 and I. 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:23.760 Want to be both gone and had a crappy time, 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:27.240 and you would have felt guilty trying to. Lauren just 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.240 came with me to this golf tournament last week. I 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:32.279 was in Fort Worth, really good friend of mine. Oddly 0:05:32.279 --> 0:05:35.000 his name is Chris Harrison too, but that's a different 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:37.640 story altogether. But so I was at this golf tournament 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:41.440 and again drinking party in it's all day. She came 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:43.240 up because a lot of the wives took part in 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.159 this thing, and I just saw her and she's miserable. 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:49.080 She hated it. It was just and you're thinking about it, yeah, 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:50.719 and then now it's taking me out of having a 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:52.520 good time, and I know she's miserable and she was 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:55.920 just trying to do the right thing. And we love 0:05:55.960 --> 0:05:57.920 the fact that we can look at each other and say, Babe, 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.080 I don't want to do this, and I'll say, now, great, 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:01.920 don't do it. 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:07.279 Go do your thing right fully. Get that so right. 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:10.560 The only rub with the long distance becomes when you're 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.560 together and alone, like it might not be on a weekend, 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:14.880 it could be on a Monday and Tuesday, and then 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:17.320 everyone feels the need to make it like perfect, and 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.279 it's like the small honeymoon where if you're working you 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.800 feel guilty. So there is a little bit of a 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.599 time and the way you manage it and what it means. 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:27.640 So you feel more pressure when you and Paul are 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:30.120 together because it's like, okay, this is our time. 0:06:30.320 --> 0:06:33.360 Yes exactly, and it's and then you feel self conscious 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:35.240 if something's going on or something's going on with work. 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:38.280 So interesting finding that balance, which also though I've struggled 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:41.200 with in relationships where we are not in different cities, 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.799 sometimes I don't know how to who in this relationship. 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:46.840 Thank God, I know who I am, like what my 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:49.679 life is in the past, I have immersed into someone 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.680 else's and then we're a wee and I don't understand 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:54.839 what to do on my own. I like to be 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:59.080 alone a lot, like not all a lot. I'm a recluse, 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:00.560 like a line. 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:01.799 Where did that come from? 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:05.160 My father was always alone. My father was to think 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:07.280 about my father, there was a stain in the leather 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:10.200 chair behind his head from watching horse races all day long. 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:13.400 He was always alone, with the exception of like going 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:15.760 after a race to dinner with you guys. Like he 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.920 was always home alone, and my mother was home alone 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:20.360 all the time till four o'clock in the morning. And 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:22.080 I was an only child. So like, I don't know 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:24.000 if that's genetic, if that's the models I saw, because 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:25.880 I didn't really live with them for most of my life. 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:29.600 But I am a natural born reckless. 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:32.680 It's a very fall it's a very healthy thing to 0:07:32.720 --> 0:07:35.120 be able to be alone with yourself and be satisfied 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:38.600 and be happy. Mine came from the bachelor bacherette world. 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:42.040 For twenty years, I traveled the world, and I would 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:44.960 typically travel by myself and live by myself. You know. 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:46.840 Every now and then my wife or kids would come 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:50.280 or whatever. When I started dating, you know, Lauren would come, 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.640 but for the most part, for twenty years, you know, 0:07:53.680 --> 0:07:55.400 the crew would go and I would try to come 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:57.120 in later because I would try to stay home as 0:07:57.200 --> 0:07:59.480 much as possible. So you know, I would fly to 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:03.000 South Africa by myself, be put in this crazy beautiful 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.440 resort by myself, and I had so much time alone 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:08.360 that it became I became okay with it. 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:12.400 Oh and also, though I think, fame and you change 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:14.560 because people look at you differently and want to talk 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:16.960 to and your body language changes, and you just retreat 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:20.400 a little bit because going out becomes something very very different. 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:22.800 Going out could be like a public appearance. If you 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.559 your friends said to you, let's go to the food 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:28.000 and wine tasting of Milwaukee, and you just show up there. 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:30.680 They're tasting food and you're doing a public appearance. 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.760 Right you are taking pictures, and that's funny. You say that, 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:36.040 people say, oh, have you changed or I'm like, you know, 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:40.080 the the noble you know answer you would love to 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.000 say is no, I've never changed. I'm the same guy 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.040 was when I grew up in Dallas. But you do 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:46.320 change because you got to protect yourself and you protect 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.360 your time, and you become pickier with your time and 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:51.080 who surrounds you because you're right. When I go to 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:53.839 an event or you go, you know you're going to 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:56.319 take pictures, You're going to have conversations a lot of 0:08:56.360 --> 0:08:59.400 the same conversations, people asking you the same questions. And 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:01.440 it's great, that's what they know you for and I 0:09:01.480 --> 0:09:03.720 don't have a problem with that. But yeah, if I 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:05.400 take a trip, it is going to be a little 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:08.080 bit different than what my friends are going to experience. 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:11.640 Your right, so your body language changes. You know, I 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:13.080 used to be a person that would talk to the 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:15.600 two top next to it. I still do it sometimes now, 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:17.440 but if I do it, that means that the two 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:19.280 tops at the left isn't going to start talking to us. 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:20.839 And now we're having a group party and Paul is 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:21.760 a very private. 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:23.320 Person, and you find there's that time and night where 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.240 people start drinking, and there's that tipping point in the 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:27.920 night too where you're like, okay, I'm. 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:31.199 Out or one person. Yeah, I was like literally half 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.640 nude in a spa yesterday and a girl said hi 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:35.400 to me, and then three other girls because one person 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.680 is open the thing and I'm not complaining either, it 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:40.920 just changes that you become closed off because if you're 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.640 open to one person high, then so many people like, Oh, 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:46.560 she's so open, she's just like us, and we're just 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.319 all having a party while she's naked in a sauna, 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:51.600 and you feel a little self conscious, you feel insecure, 0:09:51.640 --> 0:09:53.640 and you feel like, are these people like looking at me? 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:55.120 And what does she look like naked? And or her 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:57.160 boobs real? And like you just start to get paranoid 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.280 in your mind about what other people are thinking, because 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:00.200 they're probably. 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:02.839 They're real and they're spectacular everybody. I just want you 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:17.160 to know. Let's just let that be said. Now, would 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:20.320 you ever, I mean, with all this said, if you 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.880 had this perfect world and you lived in Boston or 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:27.120 Paul lived in Connecticut, would you guys, would you live together? 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:28.640 Would you take that step? 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:31.760 I mean, we would live together. And we do pretty 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:37.080 much live together, and we are connected all day long, 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:38.719 and I mean that in a way where it's not 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:42.120 like we're long distance. We're it's too much. We're fifty 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.280 times a day talking about everything and we're now working 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:47.440 on this YouTube thing together, which is actually really fun, 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.560 just like you guys are working together to interesting but 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:57.040 we're like minded in being anti social, very creative, like 0:10:57.240 --> 0:11:00.120 entertainment adjacent. He's produced a bunch of movies and that 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:03.320 he's a real estate developer. So and it does, even 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:06.400 though it sounds cheesy for Paul and myself, life partner 0:11:06.480 --> 0:11:10.440 sounds really accurately. He's a great, okay, partner. He's just 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:14.200 a great partner in life. He's very supportive, he's very loyal, 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:17.160 he's he's just he's a good life partner. So I 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.400 don't say that to people like this is my partner. 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:22.520 That's cheesy. I'm just saying it to you if you're 0:11:22.520 --> 0:11:24.079 asking the definition, that's. 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:26.280 What you know without it's such a great that's such 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.160 a healthy thing. And again you wish if we could 0:11:29.160 --> 0:11:31.319 give people advice that are getting into this game when 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:35.360 in your twenties, thirties, whatever, being able to truly define 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:38.839 your relationship the way you want it, whatever that means 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:41.240 and looks like to you do it. 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:43.439 It's also what are you coming into it from your 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:46.600 your fiance. Lauren was not ever married. 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:49.560 Before she was no she was divorced too, but no kids. 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.360 No kids, but also different also did not want to 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:56.800 have kids. Love's mine, but I also understood that that 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:58.720 was my choice to have kids, it was not her. 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:02.480 And so she does love my kids and appreciates that. 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:04.440 In God, she's amazing her effort and all that, but 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:07.960 I also try to understand that that wasn't her life choice. 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.640 They are still, you know, my children, so I try 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:13.880 to you know, and they're older now, they're twenty one 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.600 and nineteen, so it's a whole different dynamic than if 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:18.400 she came into the picture and they were nine and 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:22.800 eleven years old and we're doing you know, dance lessons 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:24.839 and going to plays and all that stuff still. 0:12:25.559 --> 0:12:29.560 And so she came in though not going through a 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:32.040 wretched child custody divorce. 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:34.480 Right, My divorce was clean. I had been divorced for 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:38.640 eleven years. My ex wife was already remarried, so it 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.080 was as easy of an injury as it could possibly be. 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:45.760 And my ex actually loves Lauren more than she loves me. 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.000 They actually will talk and text, and so it's a 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:53.680 very very healthy situation, thank God. Like, because I have 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:55.199 friends and I'm sure you do too, where it's just 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.480 a nightmare and you can't even talk to your ex 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.720 or whatever, and that it's I feel for those people. 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:04.920 Well, I'm saying what you're walking into is affected by 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:07.160 what you're walking out of. So yes, I was coming 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:09.880 out of a ten year divorce on a two year marriage, 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:13.840 and the models I saw as my mother and my 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:17.600 father and my stepfather were horrendous and wretched and divorce. 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:20.000 So I was coming out of a hall of fame 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:22.280 to use that word to get the term again, divorce 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:25.400 like very, very very the worst experience of my life 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:28.760 by far. So I'm now walking into a relationship. I'm 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:32.840 not like skipping down the road to be doing documents 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:36.520 and legally being married, like it would make sense to anyone. 0:13:37.000 --> 0:13:39.240 I experienced the most trauma I've ever experienced in my 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:43.520 life in getting my marriage and divorce. So that's another 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:45.000 reason I don't want to say that because that doesn't 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:48.000 sound all fun. But that's another reason why someone might 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:50.320 not ask me as often like why are you married yet? 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.959 Well, perspective, Yeah, your perspective, you have a scar tissue. 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:57.319 I mean I always tell people, you know, everyone shows 0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.320 up for your wedding and there's the congo line and 0:13:59.440 --> 0:14:02.760 the chicken days, and hey, all those people aren't out 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:05.640 the divorce proceedings when you're sitting there with the mediator 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.520 and you're going over and you're basically dissolving a company, 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:10.920 and that's what a divorce is. You're exactly you're dissolving 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:13.320 a company and breaking it apart. And I'm like, and 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:17.040 I vividly remember having this moment with a lawyer of 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:19.760 just sitting there with my ex and you're breaking things 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:22.800 apart and going through everything, and I'm like, h this 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.480 is a far cry from that big celebration we had 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:29.600 seventeen years ago. So you definitely have to take that 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:32.960 perspective and that knowledge into the next relationship. You'd be 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:33.600 crazy not to. 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:38.280 Yeah, And I do transactional business deals all day long, 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:43.880 and there's something about that what comes with that that 0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:46.720 I just it's counterintuitive to me. I understand marriage for 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.680 a reason, like you're going to have kids or for 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.920 this reason, or religion or convert a million reasons, or 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:54.960 you're twenty four and you want to be protected and 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.400 you want to know. When you're this age and you 0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:59.680 have your own career and your own life, it's hard 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:04.680 to contemplate legally being married. Just based on what I've 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.800 been through. I understand it, I condone it. I'm just 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:10.320 saying it's hard to like be like, I've got to 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:11.200 do this right now, this. 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:12.800 Has to happen well. And that's how I felt when 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.560 I got engaged. I mean, first of all, Whenlauren and 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:17.040 I started dating, you know, she knew I didn't really 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:19.080 care one way or the other. Marriage was not a 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:21.440 priority for me. Again because I had been married, you know, 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:24.160 I did the thing where I had kids and all that, 0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:26.400 and she had been married too and had the big wedding. 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:30.680 So neither neither one of us were really thinking, date, 0:15:30.880 --> 0:15:34.160 let's get married. Things just progressed. And that's how I've 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:37.200 loved this relationship so much, is that it's just taking 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:40.880 its own course. And we've never said to ourselves what's next, 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:43.280 When when when you know, and so it's always just 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:45.840 kind of hit us of you know what, it's time, 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:47.600 it's time to stop, right, you know, Like for six 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:50.120 months nobody knew we were dating. Then we went public, 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.800 and then we took this step and got engaged. Then 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:54.840 we decided to get married, and we're doing it on 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:56.680 our own time. And we've been together for five and 0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:59.120 a half years, and it just it makes sense. It 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.000 makes sense to us us, yeah, exactly, And if it 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:04.720 doesn't make sense to you. God bless you call. I mean, 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:07.480 whatever floats your boat at this point in your life, yep, 0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:11.240 I totally get it. Live together, live apart. Life's tough enough. 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:12.800 Be happy for crying out loud. 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.400 I agree, I could not agree more. And work and 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:17.640 in relationship. 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.400 Yeah and well, And I think both of us have 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:21.560 been blessed enough to have been successful in our lives. 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:24.240 That you get the power of saying no and the 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:26.160 ability to say no is a wonderful thing. 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:29.480 Isn't it amazing? It's it's it's I mean, I wrote 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:31.320 a book called The Place of Yes, but the no 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.000 I say no so much more than I say yes. Honestly, 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:36.600 it's just a very it's nice to what you have 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:38.240 to get to this age to realize what you really 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:40.320 do want to do and you realize you my life 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.840 is not defined by a full calendar. It's almost like 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:46.040 I hate when it's full. And we're trying to say, really, 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.680 only do things that you love. Like Really, to have 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:51.960 that discipline and be able to have the luxury of 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:54.400 only doing things that you love because you work to 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:57.040 that point is really a blessing. 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.720 Housewives, do you still have love in your heart? Fruit? 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:12.600 For that franchise. 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:20.080 It's not the it's the experience. Like I love the comedy, 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:23.919 the ridiculousness, and I was always the Greek chorus. And 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:26.440 I'm always in this position where I get to be 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:30.240 who I am talking to this audience about this show 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:33.199 that I'm observing around me, and I'm very good at 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.399 directing that sort of traffic and I love this. I 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:38.760 will say something. My father may be the Hall of 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:41.000 Fame horse trainer. I am the hall of Fame of 0:17:41.040 --> 0:17:44.240 that sport. Like being in the middle of a reality 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:47.080 show like that, navigating all of this that is literally 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:52.119 my wheelhouse. But what And I'm also I'm excellent at 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.160 navigating the media. It's not that I'm not good for it. 0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:57.359 It's not good for me. So I don't want to 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:01.399 do that with people that I don't really I may 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:02.800 not care for them, And then I have to live 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.679 out this argument that's public for three months about something 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:07.320 that I don't care about with a person I don't 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:09.480 care about, and do a media tour about it. And 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:12.639 it's really trashy and really toxic. And the name of 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:16.400 housewives is a zero sum game. Someone is always winning 0:18:16.440 --> 0:18:20.159 and someone's losing. When you're doing it, you're someone's and 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:21.560 you may not know who it is, and it may 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:23.840 be you. And if you don't know who's it's you. 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.760 That's if you don't see the sucker at the poker table, 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:27.399 it's you. 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:30.520 That's what I'm saying. You're the fish. So that's what 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:33.960