Speaker 1: Well, let me here that this and you're listening to
Speaker 1: Exactly Amda, a production of I Heart Radio. I am
Speaker 1: so excited to have you guys here today and I
Speaker 1: want to welcome welcome you guys to another amazing show.
Speaker 1: And I'm here with my co host CV noont Let
Speaker 1: me tell you, okay, the Dominican retic Yes in Santo Amingo.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be here. And on top of that,
Speaker 1: let me tell you, okay, I am curly in one
Speaker 1: of my airbnbs, which I want to invite you guys
Speaker 1: later on. Go follow me at amda Airbnb for more
Speaker 1: information on it, which we'll talk about that in another
Speaker 1: future episode. How to invest your money, how to create
Speaker 1: generational wealth, and all these amazing things. But in the meantime,
Speaker 1: Mina don say, okay, everybody's been hitting us up on
Speaker 1: exactly amata on Twitter and Instagram and all these things,
Speaker 1: and I love it because they're giving us ideas and
Speaker 1: concepts and things that they want to know and discuss.
Speaker 1: So then one of the things that people were talking
Speaker 1: about is trust and relationships. When there is a cell
Speaker 1: phone involved, automatically it takes over me. Yes, you see,
Speaker 1: but I mean that Today is all about trust. Okay,
Speaker 1: today is all about trust relationships and um and building it,
Speaker 1: Like how do you build a relationship without trust? You know,
Speaker 1: the ability to give each other enough breathing room so
Speaker 1: that we can each do our own thing and have
Speaker 1: our privacy. But when you talk about privacy, right, privacy
Speaker 1: extends to what like how much is privacy when you're
Speaker 1: in a relationship. And that's something that I really want
Speaker 1: to discuss because I feel like, you know, it's one
Speaker 1: we I think that because we have a lot of options.
Speaker 1: We have social media, we have you know, all these
Speaker 1: dating apps, we have all these other things. You know,
Speaker 1: I think that it can make your relationship at some
Speaker 1: point a little bit you know, fringe when you have
Speaker 1: access to somebody's phone, right, if they're your significant other,
Speaker 1: do you have access to the phone for convenience? Like
Speaker 1: but the hand blow? Probably and it's nothing if you
Speaker 1: have that much trust in each other? Right, is it
Speaker 1: cool they have access to your phone for convenience? Like me,
Speaker 1: not just to make a call or to like look
Speaker 1: something up. I want to take a picture, I want
Speaker 1: to take a video, or do you like never give
Speaker 1: your phone to your significant other? So the nome why
Speaker 1: because like there's certain things. I mean, why are you
Speaker 1: in my phone? First of all, it comes from when
Speaker 1: my phone, That's what I'm saying, and my phone and
Speaker 1: my phone dies, I should be able to ask my book.
Speaker 1: Probably give me your phone, don't. I didn't make this call,
Speaker 1: and I shouldn't feel suspicious. What are you wanting for?
Speaker 1: Oh no, let me make what number? Just give me
Speaker 1: the number and now call. Give me the number and
Speaker 1: I'll call. I got fingers, I can die the way.
Speaker 1: That's like a red flat. Oh my goodness to me,
Speaker 1: I feel like, stay up out of my phone, Stay
Speaker 1: up out of my phone. I mean, I mean, if
Speaker 1: you if your phone is dead in the battery diet,
Speaker 1: that's understandable. But then you and I are together in
Speaker 1: a stable relationship. Actually didn't find anything even if I look.
Speaker 1: And I do understand how sometimes the smallest little things
Speaker 1: can can and you may have not done it with
Speaker 1: bad intention, but it can come off wrong. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But here's something else. I believe that
Speaker 1: there's a possibility that if you share your past code
Speaker 1: with your significant other, it can actually lead into a
Speaker 1: healthier relationship. If you're asking for it, then you're asking
Speaker 1: for it, right, all right? But what is your reasoning?
Speaker 1: What is your reason? If you die? I want to
Speaker 1: I want to know if you die, I want to
Speaker 1: know where you were at. I want to know where
Speaker 1: your last message was. For your safety, I want to
Speaker 1: protect you, including your phone. So just in case something
Speaker 1: happens to you. You always convincing me if something happens
Speaker 1: to you, who's gonna save you me? So, hey, you
Speaker 1: need to share me your pastor. But willing to willing
Speaker 1: to have the pastor prevents you from prevents you from
Speaker 1: also having to look through it. Don't you think like
Speaker 1: I also feel it when things are come okay hidden,
Speaker 1: that provokes you to want to look and search. But
Speaker 1: when you know, because you know how humans are, when
Speaker 1: when they tell you you can't have something, that's when
Speaker 1: you wanted the most. But if you already have like
Speaker 1: access to it, then you just don't care anymore. That's
Speaker 1: how I feel, man, I want to look at it,
Speaker 1: So I don't know. How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1: Do you think that honestly prevents and it help a
Speaker 1: little bit? Like if you just have the code already
Speaker 1: and you already know you have access to it. Then
Speaker 1: you're probably not gonna look. But just to know that
Speaker 1: you can't have it makes you want to have it
Speaker 1: even more. You know me, in my lifestyle, I don't
Speaker 1: care what she does, who she does, like honestly, like
Speaker 1: that's just me. I'm just a different type of being,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I've heard I've heard
Speaker 1: guess yo, that there's been relationships as in order to
Speaker 1: have peace. They're like, okay, how about this. You cheated,
Speaker 1: I cheated. We still want to be together. We want
Speaker 1: to make this right. We want to protect what we have,
Speaker 1: So let's share each other's privacy. That means I give
Speaker 1: you complete access to my life, which is my phone.
Speaker 1: You give me complete access to yours. And like that,
Speaker 1: we don't have to feel insecure because its cosa. And
Speaker 1: let's be honest, after you've already been cheated on, Automatically,
Speaker 1: your significant other can be on his phone texting his mother.
Speaker 1: You already automatically think he's texting a bit. If you
Speaker 1: take your phone to the bathroom and he's said seeing
Speaker 1: a bit, if you go, you're talking. So if you
Speaker 1: can have access to it and look at it if
Speaker 1: you want to, we're gonna get Maybe I can also
Speaker 1: be come Oka a little bit healthier. Come. Okay, you
Speaker 1: know what once in a while, what you were doing. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're not really doing anything. Yes, come, eventually you stop
Speaker 1: looking me and that Stevie at the end of the
Speaker 1: day or in the beginning of the day. You need
Speaker 1: to give your significant your significant O. There's some space
Speaker 1: and privacy, but okay, privacy with me, it needs to
Speaker 1: be manageable. So I feel like, yes, it is healthy
Speaker 1: for I feel it's healthy for us to be able
Speaker 1: to use each other's phones without having to feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: you can look into my phone, I can pass through
Speaker 1: my phone, and if you say you're gonna take a picture,
Speaker 1: I should trust you're gonna take a picture. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel like I'm gonna give you my phone and the
Speaker 1: next thing I know, you're all up in my text messages,
Speaker 1: my WhatsApp, my d MS. That's too much. Right. Knowing
Speaker 1: that my mother was talking about you and ship and
Speaker 1: likes another issue, because you know, this is where your
Speaker 1: parents come in and they embox you and talk ship
Speaker 1: and then like you try to choose your battles. So
Speaker 1: like if they said, why did she cook for you today,
Speaker 1: or did she clean for you today? Or did she
Speaker 1: do this? Yeah, those are private conversations. Did I just
Speaker 1: confess my significant of this name? I don't know what
Speaker 1: I mean that those are private conversations better. But at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, it really comes down to trust.
Speaker 1: You have to be with someone that you trust. You
Speaker 1: should be able to trust your significant other no matter what,
Speaker 1: like I mean, if not, the why are you with them?
Speaker 1: If you feel that that, let me tell you. We
Speaker 1: have that gut intuition sea and you have a dream,
Speaker 1: you feel that your your boyfriend, your husband or whatever
Speaker 1: it is cheating or he's out here in the streets,
Speaker 1: or you can't trust him, and why are you with
Speaker 1: In the same it goes for the field and you
Speaker 1: stressed out? He had a little who you who? You text?
Speaker 1: You're looking at every like, at every message, who DM
Speaker 1: do who? I'm not really that's too stressed when nobody
Speaker 1: get time for that, right? Why are you stressed? You're
Speaker 1: stressing them him out, You're stressing yourself out, and then
Speaker 1: you're stressing me out because she or he wants to
Speaker 1: really be with me, not with you. Streuss up bettermay
Speaker 1: saying I'm not gonna be going from I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna confess something. I'm I'm gonna confess something. I don't mean,
Speaker 1: I can't believe. I don't don't don't. Okay, I'm about
Speaker 1: to confess them. So here goes my confession. So my
Speaker 1: little booth thing or whatever you I'm saying, because I
Speaker 1: have a little thing. So I have a GP you do,
Speaker 1: Oh shut up, Yes, you got a GPS GPS cart.
Speaker 1: I went over there and I got a tile. Ladies,
Speaker 1: pay attention to me. Oh my god, that's terrible because
Speaker 1: I'm I have toxic behavior and you really shouldn't listen
Speaker 1: to me because that's super unhealthy. But a bit's fun
Speaker 1: that listen to me. You you can't trust these men
Speaker 1: out here in these streets. And if that's your man
Speaker 1: and he belongs to you because he got all up
Speaker 1: in your body and you love him, I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: sure for your safety. That's how I feel. I feel
Speaker 1: like I am doing it for your own protection. But
Speaker 1: I went and I got a tile. And the tiles
Speaker 1: are these little things you can google. Let me huh,
Speaker 1: these little things like this, get whatever you put it
Speaker 1: in your in your key chain or there's one that's
Speaker 1: like a little tablet that you can put in your
Speaker 1: wallet just in case they steal your wallet. You can
Speaker 1: track it on your phone. Mama, there's so many ways.
Speaker 1: And don't say I got in his car. And don't
Speaker 1: say I dropped it right where the break is. I
Speaker 1: dropped the towel in there. And then from my phone,
Speaker 1: I can see where you're going. So whenever you told me, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm home the second goal side, you know, at twe
Speaker 1: o'clock at night and I see that tile driving all
Speaker 1: of around the city, I got you. I'm gonna pull up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pull up. Now. That's very toxic. Please do
Speaker 1: not do this. I feel like me that once once
Speaker 1: you me the time you have a tracking device, me
Speaker 1: that once you stick it to me, your privacy is over.
Speaker 1: Trupet cat okay, and you got a piece of me,
Speaker 1: your privacy, it's our privacy. Who's calling us? You're in me?
Speaker 1: Who just text us I wants to nap bottle? Is
Speaker 1: that terrible? Yo? Let me tell you, I'm you know what.
Speaker 1: I'm just happy that you're confessing and you're being real
Speaker 1: because let me tell you that a lot of women
Speaker 1: will not confess this. But now I know why my
Speaker 1: significant other be like you wasn't hard for you was
Speaker 1: in New York, it was in Miami. He wasn't for
Speaker 1: a lad that you were supposed to be recording out
Speaker 1: of manas and where you are? Yeah, Steve, what are
Speaker 1: you on today? Bro? What are you on me? You?
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm saying, Look if the person, if
Speaker 1: the person says I love you and it mean and
Speaker 1: they mean it, then that should be enough proof of
Speaker 1: how they feel about you. Do mon, though, everybody's been
Speaker 1: heartbroken and once they break your ache breaking heart, once
Speaker 1: they break your heart, you start to create these like
Speaker 1: um insecurities and you start to become untrustworthy, like you
Speaker 1: just don't trust people, and all these little things affect
Speaker 1: your relationships. I really do believe it. Like, right, if
Speaker 1: somebody was unfaithful with you in the past and you
Speaker 1: come and you carry that ship to your new relationship, like, oh,
Speaker 1: I need to have your past cast because the last
Speaker 1: person I was with cheated on me. That I want
Speaker 1: to make sure that you don't do the same thing.
Speaker 1: I think that all these traumas that we don't get
Speaker 1: to heal from, that's the reason why you know you
Speaker 1: have crazy you know, toxic women like myself. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I just said that out loud. When
Speaker 1: a woman usually asked, it means that we already know
Speaker 1: did something. No, ladies glon, No, my god, they see
Speaker 1: at the mina, let me see your phone. That means
Speaker 1: we already know. We already No, we just want to
Speaker 1: see it with our eyes. But we already know. Women
Speaker 1: don't just come and attack for no reason. When we
Speaker 1: say something is already because we have all the proof
Speaker 1: of all the text. I already know who you're talking to,
Speaker 1: already know where she lives, already know everything. And don't
Speaker 1: say that's why I want to know. Give me your
Speaker 1: past code saying I'm gonna figure out how to get it,
Speaker 1: face recognition, your fingers, something the moment you're leaking for.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, tell me if you've never done this,
Speaker 1: Just tell me if I'm dealing one that has problems.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been with your significant other and you
Speaker 1: think you were just being thin, slick, and from the
Speaker 1: corner of your eye you were paying attention to what
Speaker 1: fingers they pressed on their on the phone to learn
Speaker 1: the code? Have ever done that? You are like I
Speaker 1: have if I'm with if I'm with my man or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then I see him go up down down, up
Speaker 1: three two. I may only see the two last numbers,
Speaker 1: but I saw the motion you went up down, down.
Speaker 1: That means it's probably eight or zero, right. And then
Speaker 1: oh my god, I get problems and then I literally
Speaker 1: be like this trying to figure it out. Then you
Speaker 1: don't want to block the phone, so you gotta leave alone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know there's some there's some man that would
Speaker 1: tell women, oh, let me get your pass cold, but
Speaker 1: then they won't give their pass cold. But let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. I know that we have so much
Speaker 1: to discuss right now, because this definitely is interesting, And
Speaker 1: you know what, I think it makes me feel good
Speaker 1: to just vent. I just want to vent and be
Speaker 1: honest and tell you the tea about myself, things that
Speaker 1: I never thought that I would say alloud. But I
Speaker 1: want to live a judgment free life. I want to
Speaker 1: this is a judgment free zone, exactly what man has
Speaker 1: just been free. And if you're toxic, if you're crazy,
Speaker 1: if you be straight at b I spying on your man,
Speaker 1: whatever the case would be, what you probably shouldn't do
Speaker 1: because that's super unhealthy. But I can't tell you not
Speaker 1: to do it because I'm the first one that does it,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna teach you how to do it too,
Speaker 1: But please don't listen to me because you're not supposed
Speaker 1: to do it. Then stay in to him because we
Speaker 1: will be right back with more of exactly a mada earlier,
Speaker 1: we're talking about privacy, like how much privacy is privacy
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship. Aren't you supposed to trust
Speaker 1: on your significant other? And tones if you're talking about
Speaker 1: sharing each other's past code, is that good or is
Speaker 1: that bad? Like is that a bad thing that you're
Speaker 1: all up in your man's or your girl's phone? Or
Speaker 1: it's cool because if you're together, you have nothing to
Speaker 1: hide them. We should be fine. And then I also
Speaker 1: confess the fact that I have a GPS in my
Speaker 1: booze car. You got me all the way funked up
Speaker 1: like that dangling belongs to me, and I want to
Speaker 1: know where you act for your own protection, so I'm
Speaker 1: make sure to slade up a GPS in his car
Speaker 1: and I'll be watching it from my phone. Period. I
Speaker 1: cannot believe this is why you should not give me
Speaker 1: your past code if you are in a relationship with Okay,
Speaker 1: this is why I'm gonna break it down to you.
Speaker 1: There is a lot of people that have me blocked
Speaker 1: on social media, but they don't have my significant other blocked, right,
Speaker 1: So I am going to if you piss me the
Speaker 1: hell off, I'm gonna grab your my significant other's phone
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna go under their comments if I see
Speaker 1: something that I don't like, Like if you're trying to
Speaker 1: throw a sub at me and you thought that I
Speaker 1: can't grab my significant other's phone and just reply under
Speaker 1: her phone, So it's gonna be that's no. But that's
Speaker 1: that's that's just you being you know that has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with your significant other. She don't care what
Speaker 1: you do with her phone because you know you're gonna
Speaker 1: be spieful with somebody else. But it's what you do.
Speaker 1: Will you be mad if you're grabbed your phone? No,
Speaker 1: if my man grabs my phone to be spiful with
Speaker 1: someone else. Now, if you're being spieful towards me and
Speaker 1: don't say see and talking about privacy, you know something
Speaker 1: that happens a lot to these days, which has happened
Speaker 1: to me. Um, you know even with with you know
Speaker 1: my boothing the location, they're always asking for location, location,
Speaker 1: I want to see where you're at. Is that a
Speaker 1: bad thing? Should you? Okay? Is that as bad? What
Speaker 1: do you rather to give your pass code or share
Speaker 1: your location location because you're far away and let them
Speaker 1: pull up and let them put up. And especially if
Speaker 1: my location is miles and miles away because I'm on
Speaker 1: a flight that happens a live They're like, give me
Speaker 1: a location. I want to know where you're at. And
Speaker 1: some people do pull up. I will be the type
Speaker 1: of girl to pull up, like give me your location.
Speaker 1: Now do you give them like your hole like find
Speaker 1: me um on your phone location? Or you just do
Speaker 1: like a what's happening? It's like literally from one hour
Speaker 1: eight hours. Yeah, I need to know. I need to
Speaker 1: problem you are. Honestly, I have worked. I would have
Speaker 1: made a lot of money in Nina. There's more, there's more.
Speaker 1: I got more, Mina. Here's another thing. Did you know
Speaker 1: talking about privacy and your significant other? Inky, you never
Speaker 1: really know somebody you could be dating them forever. Read
Speaker 1: that and then you never already know. Okay, they're trashed
Speaker 1: deep down and step Okay they still want to be
Speaker 1: with you and with you, but they want to have options.
Speaker 1: That's why these days there's a whole bunch of apps
Speaker 1: that they come okay there, like the bologny fake apps
Speaker 1: that look like, oh he's playing bingo, but deep down
Speaker 1: inside when you go and click, there's like a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of folders with like naughty pictures and private conversations
Speaker 1: and all types stuff. Did you know that Nina secret?
Speaker 1: You can hide it, commide it with these apps like
Speaker 1: oh like that, and you have to communicate. That's where
Speaker 1: communication is key. Let's communicate. Tell me what you like,
Speaker 1: tell me what you don't like. This you won't have
Speaker 1: to feel the need to hide aoda. They say that
Speaker 1: there's nothing better than um, there's no better pussy than
Speaker 1: new pussy, or the same thing. There's nothing better than
Speaker 1: new thingling that Okay, I get it. You may still
Speaker 1: love your significant other because just because they might be,
Speaker 1: you know, cheating or doing something weird. I don't feel
Speaker 1: that it means that they don't love you. It just
Speaker 1: means maybe they get bored of eating rice every day,
Speaker 1: So damn that's fucked up. So then how does that happen? Look,
Speaker 1: we're going off topic, But in my mind, I'm just thinking,
Speaker 1: how do those sixty years, so Spanish of you, those
Speaker 1: sixty year relationships, how did they survive? They survived with
Speaker 1: no phones, with no dating apps, with no social media,
Speaker 1: and they were taking the sixty years with the same
Speaker 1: thought on the same dingling every single day. Wow, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I can do it. It's so much
Speaker 1: easier to cheat nowadays. Back you have so much access,
Speaker 1: especially through phones. So if you're trying to keep your
Speaker 1: other significant other accountable and you're saying, let's get let's
Speaker 1: have each other's past cold, then I'm for that, you know,
Speaker 1: if you're if you're significant others a sex attic, you know,
Speaker 1: and you know and you're trying to help them out
Speaker 1: and then you realize, hey, I was once there then
Speaker 1: that you know, like you want to be all up
Speaker 1: in my phone all that. It's just there's some women
Speaker 1: that men that are very psycho and like they're gonna
Speaker 1: want to like always be in your phone, and it's
Speaker 1: like going, you nothing. The only privacy that I have
Speaker 1: is when I go into the toilet, take a ship
Speaker 1: and look at my phone. That's the only privacy I have.
Speaker 1: And it depends because even if you're in the toilet, no, no,
Speaker 1: And it depends because even if you're in your toilet,
Speaker 1: in the toilet, I'll sit down right there next to
Speaker 1: you and I'm gonna have a whole conversation if I
Speaker 1: love you. Yeah, you have done it. Now. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you this. If you're in the bathroom, I don't
Speaker 1: have a problem with you being in the bathroom. My
Speaker 1: thing is why in the bathroom so long? You don't
Speaker 1: have to push that hard? And if you need assistance pushing,
Speaker 1: let me help you because because okay, or if you
Speaker 1: want to push it. Look, if it's been thirty minutes,
Speaker 1: that being sometimes you know you'll be getting caught up.
Speaker 1: And I get it because I'd be caught up in
Speaker 1: my phone forty minutes. But if you're in their own ality, peagle,
Speaker 1: stuck in your phone, get that. You gotta push out.
Speaker 1: You're texting, you're talking to another bitch. I'm about to
Speaker 1: turn off your damn froot. Look all this period, See
Speaker 1: I know better. Talking about privacy, you want to get
Speaker 1: even deeper into privacy and social media and phones and everything.
Speaker 1: What about the phones? What about all these apps? Snapchat?
Speaker 1: Snapchat to me? Was the one that first started with
Speaker 1: the sneaky Sneaky snake. If oh, you can record videos, delete,
Speaker 1: you can write messages and those Now they have like
Speaker 1: these private things with the private cameras. Can you have
Speaker 1: to press a code? You know, take a cheeter cheeter
Speaker 1: punkin eater. It makes me feel gay? What are you doing?
Speaker 1: I'm about to delete my my snapchat because I don't
Speaker 1: be doing freaky stuff like that, because it would inform
Speaker 1: you when somebody took you were able to snap at
Speaker 1: and then they would inform you screenshot right, and then
Speaker 1: they would inform you that the other person was shot.
Speaker 1: That was good gowhere. Actually that's a lie. That's a
Speaker 1: lie because like I've done it. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: know that I got problems because you'll say you don't
Speaker 1: have toxic professional you're not me too. I'm toxic and
Speaker 1: that's not good. And I know that I need the Lord,
Speaker 1: I need a therapist because I know that I got
Speaker 1: problems because let me tell you something. I would be
Speaker 1: the one to be like mommy. I'll tell you my
Speaker 1: mommy being you haven't and from my phone, I'll literally
Speaker 1: think or record the that's me. So y'all all be
Speaker 1: here in these streets, thinking they cant oh it's there, China,
Speaker 1: and then deleted and nobody's side maint You never know
Speaker 1: who's watching, who took a picture, who nothing, So be careful, ladies.
Speaker 1: You'll be thinking that you're showing your goo out here
Speaker 1: in these streets and don't know that your doos already
Speaker 1: recorded every spoon and has already passed down through the
Speaker 1: group WhatsApp boy. And you're absolutely right, because people swear
Speaker 1: that just because you delete it where you think it goes,
Speaker 1: they think that just because where do you think that
Speaker 1: thing goes? When you're single, you're single. That gives you
Speaker 1: the rights to live your life the way that you want,
Speaker 1: go around around, be liberal, do all the things that
Speaker 1: you want. But once you get into a relationship, you
Speaker 1: have to learn how to be respectful of the other person.
Speaker 1: If and that includes yes, I understand their privacy. Their
Speaker 1: privacy is super important. You should respect that unless you
Speaker 1: want to start a GPS in their car. Let me know,
Speaker 1: set up to know where you can buy it better anyway, Look,
Speaker 1: but you should respect the respect of privacy unless they
Speaker 1: don't know, unless they don't know that you're spying on them,
Speaker 1: then you don't have to respect it. They don't have
Speaker 1: to know, but honestly, you should respect their space. Okay,
Speaker 1: and I think that he look honestly, all these things
Speaker 1: are fun, but having trust in your partner is important.
Speaker 1: It can become overwhelming, It could become dramatic, it can
Speaker 1: become stressful, it can become a lot of things to
Speaker 1: have to be consistently paying attention to somebody else. If
Speaker 1: somebody wants to be with you, they're gonna be with
Speaker 1: you regardless. And if someone wants to cheat, they're gonna
Speaker 1: cheat on you regardless. There's nothing, honestly, you can do.
Speaker 1: I understand how sometimes you know, you feel the need like, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe if I just have access to their phone, I'll
Speaker 1: be able to feel more at peace with my insecurities
Speaker 1: based on the things that you've created in my mind
Speaker 1: or based on the experiences I've had. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, they could be having these little apps that
Speaker 1: you don't know where you know, that information can be hiding,
Speaker 1: Like they have the double calculators in their phones, and
Speaker 1: one calculator literally opens to something else where. There's like
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of private hidden folders, like you never
Speaker 1: really know so it's like Loca is going to be
Speaker 1: for you no matter what, live your best life. And
Speaker 1: if he has that good thing liing, but you better
Speaker 1: start his as and make sure no bitch takes him
Speaker 1: and put that GPS. I don't give a get his password,
Speaker 1: get everything. But if you're looking that much but relaxed,
Speaker 1: met huh, don't stress. There's more. Listen, that was awesome.
Speaker 1: Make sure you're going to exactly have Mada's Instagram. If
Speaker 1: you agree with everything that I say, we'll be right
Speaker 1: back and we are back with some more of exactly
Speaker 1: Mada and girl. It is all about communication without communication
Speaker 1: why nada? And that's true. It's gonna because listen, I
Speaker 1: would rather you tell me than the whole world no
Speaker 1: before me, because I would be really mad at what
Speaker 1: I'm referencing is if you cheat it on me, if
Speaker 1: you out there sneaking, if you're out there going to
Speaker 1: everybody else's house, not everybody in the world, no except
Speaker 1: for me, I'm gonna be really upset. You know, at
Speaker 1: least tell me first, because like, how would you think
Speaker 1: there's sometimes but sometimes sometimes yeah no, but sometimes our
Speaker 1: own personal insecurities. And I'm telling you from personal experiences
Speaker 1: make you feel that you're significant of the maybe doing
Speaker 1: something when they're really not. I personally have been accused
Speaker 1: of cheating, of talking to other people, of doing this
Speaker 1: and doing that, and I really haven't. I'm so caught
Speaker 1: up working and busy. I have exactly I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: TV shows that have real estate. I have so much
Speaker 1: things going on. And your own personal insecurities can also
Speaker 1: be damaging to your relationship, and that that damaging part
Speaker 1: like me being talked to, which is something that I
Speaker 1: need to work on um And I know that I
Speaker 1: make fun of it and I laugh it off, but
Speaker 1: a lot of us make fun of it and we
Speaker 1: laugh like it's nothing, But we really have a out
Speaker 1: of healing to do, and that comes from traumas from
Speaker 1: our past relationships. So I think that being healing to
Speaker 1: me is the number one thing I guess. I not
Speaker 1: whatever you went through, whoever treated on you, whoever mistreated you,
Speaker 1: whoever made you feel that you weren't worthy of all
Speaker 1: those things you need to heal from. And then obviously
Speaker 1: after that, to me is communication being able to communicate
Speaker 1: with your significant other in every aspect. Look, bab, I
Speaker 1: don't know for what reason I'm feeling like you might
Speaker 1: be doing something and you might not, but I feel
Speaker 1: this way. And if I feel this way is because
Speaker 1: I see you acting this way this way, or you're
Speaker 1: not doing this and this and just being able to
Speaker 1: sit down as an adult and have a clear communication
Speaker 1: is so important. So I definitely agree with that, and
Speaker 1: if not, you'll end up like j Loo. Like jay
Speaker 1: Loo did with a Rod, she had a whole itinerary
Speaker 1: of things that he had to do in order for
Speaker 1: them to stay together. Like I need to have you
Speaker 1: know all my security with you. You need to be
Speaker 1: you know, in your hotel at ten o'clock at night.
Speaker 1: You can't have this, you can't do that. I need
Speaker 1: to uh, you know your location at all times. I
Speaker 1: need to be able to check your phone. I need
Speaker 1: to fato me. But what there's a lot of dangling
Speaker 1: out here in this world. You don't have to be
Speaker 1: stressed out like this. So that's why communication is so important.
Speaker 1: Communication is very important as well as Kevin Hart, like,
Speaker 1: do you think that his wife significant other knew about
Speaker 1: the sex tape? No? I mean or did she or
Speaker 1: did she not? But imagine she didn't. I would rather
Speaker 1: tell tell my significant other so that I wouldn't make
Speaker 1: her out to look crazy, you know, to the world.
Speaker 1: And you know, we forgive, you know, people, and we're
Speaker 1: very forgiving and not trying to attack Kevin Hart. But
Speaker 1: I'm saying, you're out there, you're a public figure. We
Speaker 1: use you as an example to help the next person. Okay,
Speaker 1: So now his wife doesn't know, right, and now everybody's
Speaker 1: seeing it. She finds out on TV. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's heartbreaking. How would you feel? How would you feel
Speaker 1: as a woman a man? I mean, that's why. That's
Speaker 1: why these phones are so good, but they can be
Speaker 1: so damaging to relationships. That's why if you pay attention.
Speaker 1: These days, we have less people getting married. Everybody wants
Speaker 1: to be liberal and free or whatever. Um, we have
Speaker 1: less women, less you know, relationships having children. We have
Speaker 1: way less children back in the days because of all
Speaker 1: these issues that build up with time, and social media
Speaker 1: has a big part to play with it, and your
Speaker 1: phones have a big part to play with it, because
Speaker 1: now you become so consumed in your phone that you
Speaker 1: forget even even when you're at dinner, even when you're
Speaker 1: with your significant other, you spend pay attention to how
Speaker 1: many times you grab your phone and you're on your
Speaker 1: phone when you're with your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, whatever,
Speaker 1: instead of catering time to them and paying attention to
Speaker 1: them and living in the present. That's why if you
Speaker 1: don't have an open communication in a relationship, that can
Speaker 1: definitely hinder the ability of you know, being able to
Speaker 1: have trust in your significant other to on Instagram on this,
Speaker 1: and that can significant Let me put my phone down,
Speaker 1: let me be present, let me be here at this
Speaker 1: moment with you and be with you. So those little
Speaker 1: details can cause relationships to honestly like fall apart. I
Speaker 1: have a question for you. I have a really really
Speaker 1: good question for you. You communicate all aspects of your
Speaker 1: life which a significant other, and when I asked, I'm specifically,
Speaker 1: I specifically want to know because a lot of women
Speaker 1: and men in relationships, especially when they're married, right, they
Speaker 1: have joint accounts. Do you always feel the need that
Speaker 1: your significant other has to let you no wonder, especially
Speaker 1: they're spending your money, Like especially if you have more
Speaker 1: money in that account than them and they don't tell
Speaker 1: you that they spent that money. Even with money, do
Speaker 1: you feel that that significant other of yours should communicate
Speaker 1: that with you what they're spending, or it's okay for
Speaker 1: them to go drop some money at go to your
Speaker 1: drop some money at what you think. No, I think that.
Speaker 1: First of all, I've never had a joint account with
Speaker 1: anybody ever in life besides my mother, and I figured
Speaker 1: out that didn't work either, because she felt like I
Speaker 1: gave birth to you, so I have the rights to
Speaker 1: all your money, and that didn't make no sense. I've
Speaker 1: never I've never done it significant other. I've never done
Speaker 1: it with a spouse, bet Andando. If the money is
Speaker 1: is both of us, Like you put in fifty dollars,
Speaker 1: I put in fifty dollars. If you want to spend
Speaker 1: seventy five, that means you took some of the ones
Speaker 1: that I put in there. You need to communicate with me. Now.
Speaker 1: If you're just gonna pull out your fifty, I don't care.
Speaker 1: You still need to communicate with me because the most
Speaker 1: important part is that your money is my money and
Speaker 1: my money is my money. So I didn't know what
Speaker 1: the hell is going home? No, No, okay, let me
Speaker 1: start walking around now. I think that any decision made
Speaker 1: with finances, we both should be able to sit down
Speaker 1: and have a clear conversation and a clear understanding of
Speaker 1: what we're planning on doing with this money because we're
Speaker 1: doing it together. You can have your your own independent accounts,
Speaker 1: but the money that goes into other for us as
Speaker 1: a couple, as a union, than yes, we need to
Speaker 1: discuss every single aspect every single daughter coming out, We're
Speaker 1: not doing that. If not. The communication is important in
Speaker 1: every single aspect of it, not just from as far
Speaker 1: as their privacy um sexually. You want to be able
Speaker 1: to have communication if you have any concerns, any insecurities
Speaker 1: and what you need to want, you have to have communications.
Speaker 1: For finances, you need to have communications. I think communication
Speaker 1: is the most important thing when you're with someone else.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we expect someone else to understand and know where
Speaker 1: we're coming from and how we feel, and why we
Speaker 1: feel insecure, and why we feel uncomfortable, and why we
Speaker 1: want to have your password to your phone and why
Speaker 1: I want to be in your Instagram. Sometimes you expect
Speaker 1: the other person to automatically know, and we have to
Speaker 1: understand that they're not in your brain. If you don't
Speaker 1: communicate how you're feeling, if you don't communicate about your insecurities,
Speaker 1: if you don't want to communicate what you're doing that's
Speaker 1: making me feel this certain way, with making me react
Speaker 1: a certain type of way. We're never gonna grow, We're
Speaker 1: never gonna become better, We're always gonna be stuck in
Speaker 1: this like toxic real relationship that I have to be like,
Speaker 1: who are you with? Where is your phone? SIMI, your location?
Speaker 1: What are you doing? That's that's super unhealthy. And that's
Speaker 1: why I feel that if you, if you can learn
Speaker 1: how to communicate without being disrespectful, without being rude, without
Speaker 1: being loud, without not listening, because that's the biggest issues
Speaker 1: that we have in a lot of time as women
Speaker 1: and men that I'm being I don't know how to listen.
Speaker 1: Drink a glass of wine, take some time and let
Speaker 1: me listen to how you feel. What is wrong? Talk
Speaker 1: to me? What did I do? Sometimes you could do
Speaker 1: ship that's wrong and you don't even notice, and you'll
Speaker 1: be feeling like I didn't do nothing wrong and you
Speaker 1: don't know that this month, little thing that you may
Speaker 1: have said, you may have done, may have caused this
Speaker 1: person to feel a certain type of way, and that
Speaker 1: creates a domino effect. So that's why Yes, Bama said that, No,
Speaker 1: lad mena like this, like this, like this. You made
Speaker 1: me feel comfortable because of this, and it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to become an argument. It's okay for us to have
Speaker 1: different perspectives in life. It's okay for us to disagree
Speaker 1: and agree on a lot of things. It's okay. But
Speaker 1: communication is the key to having a successful relationship. And
Speaker 1: I'm only saying that because I've been there, done that. Um,
Speaker 1: I've seen it in other long you know, long relationships
Speaker 1: that they've said me, now, so you didn't get that
Speaker 1: to survive. So all I'm saying is just learn how
Speaker 1: to listen, learn how to talk to learn how to
Speaker 1: express your feelings. You feel me staving yes. Does the
Speaker 1: past code problem extend to social media platforms as well?
Speaker 1: That's the last thing I want to actually, so not
Speaker 1: just your cell phone passwork. Does that extend to Facebook,
Speaker 1: Instagram and all your social media platforms. If I really
Speaker 1: love you and I feel that you're the love of
Speaker 1: my life and I want to, you know, commit to you,
Speaker 1: and I and I feel like you know what, I'm done.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be jumping around, redating, trying to
Speaker 1: figure out things, and I don't want to do this anymore. Yea.
Speaker 1: I want to find that love of my life. I
Speaker 1: want to go through the good and bad with you.
Speaker 1: I want to do everything with you, and if that
Speaker 1: means in order for that to happen, then I need
Speaker 1: to give you access to everything that I have, I
Speaker 1: will with one condition. My condition would be, from the
Speaker 1: moment I give you, don't judge me for anything that
Speaker 1: you see in my phone before. Okay, From the moment
Speaker 1: I give you access to my phone moving forward, judge
Speaker 1: me from that, and I promised to be as respectful
Speaker 1: as possible. I will never do anything to make you
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. From the moment I give you my password,
Speaker 1: not from like, not from like the day before. Because
Speaker 1: I might have been flirting a little bit with somebody
Speaker 1: else's set up my dam but that doesn't mean I
Speaker 1: like them. It just means that was flirting so and
Speaker 1: I know that wasn't okay. Battle. I think that's the
Speaker 1: best way to go about it. I would do it,
Speaker 1: you know. I think that if it's hard to find
Speaker 1: someone that you love, someone that you care about, and
Speaker 1: if social media or whatever your phone is going to
Speaker 1: be in the middle of that, I think that there's
Speaker 1: more important things in life than you're freaking social media
Speaker 1: and your phone's you know what, I'm abuta thank you
Speaker 1: for being so real and just being you and just
Speaker 1: being exactly I'm outa thank you because that was that's
Speaker 1: very helpful. I'm happy that you use your experiences and
Speaker 1: your testimony to help someone else out. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I love this, I know, thank you. It was. It
Speaker 1: was a little harder to be a little real when
Speaker 1: it came to you know, pass cold and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: because it is ultimately hard to give up a trust,
Speaker 1: especially if we've been through stuff in life. But you
Speaker 1: know what, thank you so much and thank just thank you,
Speaker 1: and this is officially a rap. Thank you guys, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for all the love and support. Tuning
Speaker 1: in every Thursday, you already know every Thursday for all
Speaker 1: new episodes of Exactly a Mata and of course you
Speaker 1: can't forget to follow me on Instagram and Twitter at
Speaker 1: Ada a l N. But of course you have to
Speaker 1: follow at exactly Amata on Instagram and Twitter, and of
Speaker 1: course check us out on the YouTube channel, follow us
Speaker 1: at Michael Podcast on Instagram as well, and you can
Speaker 1: also follow Steve. You don't let the plan say that
Speaker 1: they stev everywhere Stevie doods s T e v E
Speaker 1: Y and e W and easy, and that's right. It's
Speaker 1: s T e V e y, not s T e
Speaker 1: v I E because everyone's because when they b c
Speaker 1: d them. Thanks for listening, Exacco, thanks for listening to
Speaker 1: exactly a Mata, and remember to share and subscribe us. Okay.
Speaker 1: This has been a production of I Heart Radios Michael
Speaker 1: podcast Network. For more podcasts from I Heeart, visit the
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Speaker 1: to your favorite shows. Thank you so much. Hey, by
Speaker 1: the way, let me know slide up in my dns
Speaker 1: and let me know if you want to know that
Speaker 1: information on how to get that GPS in your boost card. Girl,
Speaker 1: I got you.