WEBVTT - We're Not Healed 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:23.040 Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:26.799 I'm Mila, and my titties are out. Y'all join the 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:31.400 YouTube to see Erica's finance titties live and bouncing, bouncing. 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:38.080 This dress is from Fashion Nova. Should let me hold 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:39.839 on one second, because the people on YouTube, they've all 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:42.040 asked for this. Ready. 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:47.360 Erica is wearing a firm fitted, buttoned down royal blue, 0:00:47.600 --> 0:00:51.360 tightly fitted Fashion Nova dress collared. It says, I'm here 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:55.440 for business, but I like to get sexy. It's she 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:59.520 didn't trip, It's right. It ends right above the ankle, 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:04.399 so you could be show a little slutney. This is 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:06.320 the perfect dress if you want to go to church, 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:09.679 go to the club, or look sexy professional. 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:12.640 You're welcome. 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:16.040 What are you wearing? 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:16.360 My love? 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:22.840 Okay, I just took off my shoes, but you ready. 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:29.440 Jamila is wearing a beautiful African print baby doll dress. 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:35.720 It's giving. I'm black, I'm sexy, and I'm cute as fuck. 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:37.560 Thank you. 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:42.360 Hi guys, welcome to Wednesday. It's Happy hump Day. 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:45.480 Happy motherfucking hump Day. Wow, it feels really good to 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:45.920 be here. 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:48.240 I know it's been a minute we haven't sat down 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:50.840 in a minute. We've been out out and about on 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:55.360 the go go go in Costa Rica, leading retreats, leading 0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:58.680 the women to the most authentic cells. 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.560 Ah, And it feels really good. I know this is 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.360 like our this will be our fourth time doing this, 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:11.799 and I'm really feeling cemented in my retreat. Healerness, me too, 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:12.399 Me too. 0:02:12.520 --> 0:02:15.680 This was a it was a it was just a 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:21.799 different experience, but it just reminded me how important these 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:25.160 spaces are and how important it is for women to 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:28.600 come together. Like I'm always reminded when we do these retreats, 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:33.160 how we don't take time for ourselves, how we literally 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:36.760 make every excuse. And also it makes me have a 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:40.359 lot more compassion for women because in the past I'll 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:43.120 be like, m, I don't like that bitch. Ah, she 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:44.799 got a fuck up attitude. And it's like, well, why 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:47.320 does she have a fucked up attitude? Why is she 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:50.040 so motherfucking needy? Why does she need to be taken 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:52.960 care of? And like, when I'm out there and I 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:54.799 have to take care of these women, I really have 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:59.120 to like humble myself make sure that like I'm not 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:03.320 judging them, you know, And it's a learning experience for me, 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:06.840 and I think that these retreats were really really specially 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:10.080 each group was different. I feel like our first group 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.200 was a little more turned up. Our second group was 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:18.079 a lot more like chill, a little more independent. But yeah, 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:20.600 it was. It was just amazing. 0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:24.280 We always have like a really epic like group of women, 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:27.359 and it's true, like it really is a lesson and 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:29.600 you really don't know people until you know them, and 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:33.480 like judging people is just it's not beneficial. We always 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:36.400 we have like twenty five women from all over the country, 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:39.600 all different walks of life. Some are moms, some are not, 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:43.200 some are black, some are white. You know, everybody is 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:46.680 just like different and come and like when you come 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:49.280 to the jungle for this experience, it's not like, oh hi, 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:52.280 what do you do? You know, it's just like you're 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.840 really getting to know people at their core and for 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:56.680 who they are, and like people are really showing up 0:03:56.680 --> 0:03:59.360 as themselves and like for Erica and I realized, it's 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:02.800 just such a I'm so grateful that we've expanded our 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:05.680 brand in this way just because like every time we 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:07.720 get to do it, we get to like address something 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:10.400 fucked up in us too. You know, like I get 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:13.200 the opportunity to heal something, to address something, to be 0:04:13.280 --> 0:04:15.480 more aware of something, and like a lot of times 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:17.240 it's because I see like my sister going through some 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:18.760 shit and I'm like, damn, I went through that and 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:21.400 I feel that, and like damn I didn't address that. 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:27.040 So it's just bomb. Like we have like guests, previous 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.200 guests from the show come, we have like listeners of 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.240 the show Come. We have people who never fucking listen 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:35.280 to our podcast ever. Come. It's a very like cool 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.720 collective of women that show up. And like I always say, 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:44.560 it's always like very like divinely appointed, like everybody who's 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:46.760 supposed to be there is always a correct mix of 0:04:46.800 --> 0:04:49.760 people with the right intentions. Like the first group was 0:04:49.760 --> 0:04:51.040 a little bit more turned up. We did a lot 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:54.320 of skinny dipping, a lot of like shit at the pool, 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:58.240 fun skinny dipping pool parties, and like the second group, 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:01.480 we went out and partied. But like each each group 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.840 is super special, you know. Shout out to Sosha and 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:10.919 Yaas and Emily my witchy bitch. Shout out to Jessica. 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:15.119 Specially my scorpiosis. Yes, like it's so true, Like who's 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:16.760 meant to come come, and I think it is like 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:21.240 a safe space for everyone, like like Yara's she's she's 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:22.800 a former guest of the show, which was what was the. 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:23.440 Name of for episode? 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:27.640 I can't believe, like my therapist, therapist. She came. Literally, 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:30.520 she booked her ticket. I think the day before the 0:05:30.520 --> 0:05:31.240 retreat started. 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:33.000 It might have started that day. 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:37.080 Yeah, she missed the first day. Yeah, and yeah. It 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.800 was just it's just so special and it's so true 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:42.320 that like I don't even know what half these bitches 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:44.800 do for work, and like in any other space, like 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:46.680 when you're out meeting people, that's kind of how you 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:49.120 label people. That's how you like decide what box to 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.479 put people in, Like what do you do? I have 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:54.400 no idea what these toes do. I know they could 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.640 all they could be. They could be CEO, they could 0:05:56.640 --> 0:05:59.880 be strippers. I have no it doesn't I don't know. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:01.680 One person does. And that's because I thought it was 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.080 really cute because I know what Jessica does, because she 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:05.760 was working on making a million dollars this year on 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:10.120 her business. But that's because her sweet ass roommate Alyssa 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:12.360 was like upping her, Like no, girl, she's not doing 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.640 anything small. They did this and they did that, and 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:16.360 I was like, first of all, did you guys come together? 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.520 Know you did it? And like that they knew each 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:20.400 other and that She was like, no, bit, she's making 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:22.200 she's doing big things. And I was like, yeah, you 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.240 are doing big things. But like I would have never 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:26.400 known that had she not told me. It's just like 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:31.600 the most beautiful collective of friendship and sisterhood and like, yeah, 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:35.240 checking yourself. You know, there's always things that like we're human, 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:37.680 you know, so like I always laugh at us because 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.960 when we go into these spaces like here, we're really ratchet. 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:42.320 But then when we go to we go to Costa 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:44.719 Rica and we like put on our retreat healing clothes 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:48.359 and then we start talking in these soft voices. I'm like, 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:50.000 who the fuck are we? But we do we get 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.760 like really transformed eve. We're like, okay, everybody, welcome to 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:57.840 the Good Vibratory, Welcome to the connect Workshop. Look at 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.719 deep Breath. I'm like, who the fuck are we? And 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:02.600 I'm always wondering, like who didn't listen to the podcast? 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:05.039 I'm like, good, it's probably best you listen after you leave, 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:11.000 but it is. It's just like it's a very beautiful 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:16.160 mixing of people. And you know, like even if you're 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.960 not a mom, come, even if you're not a black come. 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:22.360 I know Emily was like I saw, I didn't see 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:24.320 nowhere on the retreat that it said black woman only, 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:26.080 So I signed up. I said, I know the fuck 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:29.080 that's right, Emily. And I'm so happy you're not like, 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:32.800 you know, like intimidated or feel away or like you 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:34.680 know what I mean. I just I really it is 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:37.600 a space for literally everyone to feel welcomed and loved 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:39.600 and nurtured and taken care of. And I know I'm 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:42.720 a cancer, so this is my calling. I'm excitedly meeting 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:45.920 people and nurturing bitches is my calling. I knew it, 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:50.120 but yeah, like it does. It just require that we 0:07:50.240 --> 0:07:54.360 check ourselves and be patient and and just really connect 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:57.520 with people. And you know, we talk so fucking often 0:07:57.560 --> 0:07:59.800 on the mic, and like it seems sometimes to an 0:07:59.880 --> 0:08:01.720 end room. You know, we're talking to each other and 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:03.760 we know people are listening, but it really is special 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.560 to get to connect with the women that we talked 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:08.760 to and like see them and feel them and touch 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:12.040 them and like hag and play. So it's just been 0:08:12.080 --> 0:08:17.120 really this has been an epic birth birthing between us, 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:19.360 and like one that we didn't even really see coming. 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:22.480 No for sure, No, I hadn't. I definitely didn't. I 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:24.880 thought we were going to do like like a ski 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:28.440 trip or something or like we did, Yeah, for sure, 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.560 But I didn't. I didn't see the element of like 0:08:31.000 --> 0:08:36.600 healing and like just really intentionally connecting these women in 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:39.480 that in this in this very in this way that 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:42.200 kind of like unravels them like that was not It 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:44.199 was more like, we need a vacation, let's go turn up, 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.880 like and I'm so happy that that we started here. 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.600 I'm happy that we took the opportunity and that we 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:52.880 stepped into our power in that way, because I think 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:56.120 one thing about like this first trip, like I think 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:58.800 not that we were questioning it, but when you're when 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:02.000 you're new in a feel or in an industry, you 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:05.720 feel like you totally experienced that imposter syndrome. And I did. 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:08.880 I'm like, bitch, are you a healer? Like, first of all, 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.080 everybody on Instagram has healer in their bio, along with 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:14.840 like all these other irrelevant fucking things that nobody asks 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:18.199 to know. But you know, it feels like imposter syndrome, 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:21.520 but like this trip, I'm like, no, I'm a facilitator 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:25.000 and Spirit is using me. You know, Spirit is using 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:29.200 us to really like change people and shift people's perspective 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:32.520 and open them up. And like every time I come back, 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:35.640 or even a lot of many moments out like throughout 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:40.679 the retreat, I'm like, damn, like we're all witches and 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:42.760 now they know because we told them to do it, 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:48.000 you know. So it's just like it's this beautiful revealing 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:51.640 of like the inner magic of every woman that participates. 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:54.640 Yeah, I know for sure it gave the retreat almost 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.959 gave me more permission to act on my intuition because 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:00.000 I feel like a lot of times I can feel 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:03.000 people's energy, but when I'm not in this type of space, 0:10:03.040 --> 0:10:04.960 I feel like, oh, it's not my it's not my 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:08.680 role or my job to like be like are you okay, 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:11.559 or like hey, I've noticed this, you want to talk 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.560 about this? Whereas like when you were there, like that's 0:10:13.600 --> 0:10:15.680 why the fuck were here. Like there was a moment 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:17.800 where I saw a girl at dinner and she was 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:19.880 in her head. I could not I could feel her 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:22.439 energy from across the table and I could see her 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:25.480 having like inner conflict, and I was like, I'm getting up, 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:27.319 I have to go hug her, you know, like in 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:29.839 any other circumstance. But I do that. I think now 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:32.120 I would, you know, now I would because I know 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.679 how important it is and how how that hug can 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.000 change someone's life or change someone's night. And whereas before 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:41.240 I might have like questioned, like, oh, she's fine, like 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:43.400 that'd be weird if I did that, you know, like. 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:45.000 No, sometimes people need that. 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:46.800 Yeah, And it was a beautiful moment, like I went 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:49.160 over there and I hugged her and she just started 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:53.480 crying and like everyone just like I was. So I said, 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:54.960 I look like you need a hug, and she was 0:10:55.000 --> 0:10:58.480 like I do. I've been like saying it all week, 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:01.319 I need a hug, and like she hadn't really shouldn't 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:04.680 said it like verbally, but she felt like she was 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:07.160 like that was the best that she could do. Was 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:10.760 like she felt like she was emotionally like screaming out 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.760 for help, and finally someone noticed. And so like that 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.040 ended at the end of the table, we were like, 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:17.760 let's all hug her. So we all got up and 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:21.480 we all embraced her, and like we had that same 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:24.240 experience in Hattie's workshop, you know, where someone was like 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:27.040 I haven't been hugged like that in a really long time. 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:30.880 And so literally everyone in that workshop we all embraced her, 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:33.400 hugged her, hugged each other, and just put poured energy 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:34.120 into her, like. 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:36.880 Just outreaching of hands. Yeah, ever serves that shit for 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:38.520 like church, you know, it's real. 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:42.480 Like yeah, and like and how healing something like that 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:44.280 can be, and how we don't do that in our 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:47.720 circles of friends, like we think it's weird, and how 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.640 important it is, and how it can literally change someone's 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:56.400 life a hug like by like by strangers you don't know, 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:58.920 and even even more so because they don't know your 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:03.920 baggage and they're just for you no matter what. And 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.240 and I just realized that like the power in hugging. 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.080 Someone, touching telling people you love them. 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:12.640 Like there's so much like disconnect in our society, I think, 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:16.000 especially with the pandemic, like people like disconnecting from people, 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:21.160 and we need to reconnect, like there's we're starving in ways. 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:24.080 It's true, like it really shed light on how we 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:28.040 need human interaction and just like that's the thing like authenticity, 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:29.840 you know, we say with like it's like a token 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:31.640 word right now, like a true you know, but like 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:37.520 authenticity is being hurt, being vulnerable, saying that, crying and 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:39.600 like even saying the weird shit. And it just reminded 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:42.880 me like we welcome the girls with joints obviously because 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.679 we're us, and like even we be high. And the 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:48.959 first day, I think of the second one, or was 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:50.760 it the first one. I don't know, it's probably both. 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:53.120 I got high and then we do like welcome speech, 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:54.840 and I was like holding my cut, but like one 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:56.080 hand was like this, and I was like, why is 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:57.280 my hand in my head? I was like, why is 0:12:57.280 --> 0:12:58.520 your hand like that? People are gonna look at you. 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:00.240 And I was just like and I was like, why 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:02.400 are we thinking like this? It's like, bitch, you're high. 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:04.640 But then somebody else I saw zo shit. She was 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:06.320 like in her head and I saw her like I 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:08.400 could see her being in her head. And then she 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.800 came back from from like the break. She was like, bitch, 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:12.360 I was high. I should never smoke that way when 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.360 I walked in. But I'm like, what a beautiful space 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:16.280 that we could be, Like I'm sorry, I was high 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:18.520 and I was tripping, you know what I mean like, yeah, 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.000 me too. I was holding my hand like this. I 0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.040 didn't know why, you know what I mean. But like 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.560 that's day one moment one, Like yeah, I was in 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:26.640 my head at thinking some weird shit too, you know 0:13:26.679 --> 0:13:27.800 what I mean, Like I thought she didn't want to 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:30.360 be my roommate, but I was. I was tripping, you know. 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:31.440 And it's just like. 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:35.960 And even that, like experiencing like the uncomfortability that some 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:38.520 of these women felt day one, and then how it 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:42.079 transcended at the end of the retreat, Like one girl 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.480 in particular, like she like at the beginning, like she 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:47.280 was a little resistant, she was showing resistance in a 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.360 bunch of different ways. Yeah, and that was challenging for 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:51.800 me too, because I was like, Yo, how am I 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.559 gonna deal with this shit? Like oh, like everything is 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.000 always so perfect, Like what the fuck? I'm like, wait, bitch, 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.760 you're doing this because nothing. This is why people need this, 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.680 because we're all imperfect. So like I had to like 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:05.800 reprogram my energy, reprogram my mind because we are conditioned 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.200 as women to write women off, like the moment you 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:10.640 are not flowing with the rest of the group, bitch, 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:12.520 you're the one. You're the problem. And it's like, no, 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.720 she's not. She just needs a little bit more, you know, massaging. 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.440 She needs There's something going on here. And by the 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:21.240 end of the retreat, all of her issues that she had, 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:25.480 she admitted were in her head. And that's why we 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:27.680 do it, and that's why she came too, And that's 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.960 why women come is a to get uncomfortable and b 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.560 to come out feeling different about however they felt coming in. 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:37.800 And like the environment is so infectious too, like it's 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:40.480 it's it's Costa Rica, it's parts of Viejo, it's the 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.000 community there because like as soon as we get there too, 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.320 it's just like the community embraces us, like our friends 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.840 in the in the area, Like like everyone who helps 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:50.680 facilitate is our friends. And like there is this like 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:55.680 overwhelming feeling of like let go and just be and 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:58.280 like obviously we give speeches about this like bitch, come 0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:01.120 as you are. But even like midway, you know, through 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:03.040 one of the retreats, something told me. We were at 0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:05.160 dinner and something told me to get up, and I 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:07.400 went to go look for something and I turned a 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:09.880 corner and I saw one of our our friend or 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:14.280 but amazing like sound healer and like a massage therapist 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:16.480 was just like coming out of the bathroom and we 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.200 started to talk and I started to speak to him, 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:20.880 and he was just like basically, I'm not having good day. 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:24.040 I didn't have a good birthday, and like within thirty 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:26.760 seconds he started crying and I just like held him, 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:28.480 like picked me up in the middle of the walkway, 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:30.880 which just like held him for like five minutes and 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.680 was just like speaking life into him about whatever he 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:36.400 was going through. And then he's like cried and he's 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:37.680 like I love you, thank you. And I was like 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:39.240 I love you too, and he left and I was like, 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:41.880 this is why I come to the jungle, Like this 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:46.640 is the type of interactions, Like I want genuine, real, deep, 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:50.480 honest interactions with everybody that I encounter else with. 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:52.120 The fuck like, oh girl, you gonna be okay. 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.960 Yeah, Well, I'm just like always trying to be tough 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:57.200 and not tell what's wrong or like, you know, like 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:00.320 I'm fine and like we're not. You know, it's just 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.600 like the environment makes you know that you don't have 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:07.800 to pretend and you can actually cry or scream or 0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:11.480 laugh and just really just exist. And like that's why 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:15.520 it's so fucking special. And yeah, we had a bomb 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:17.320 ass time we went out. 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:19.200 We had such a good time. 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:19.960 We had. 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:23.560 We take the girls out to this beachfront, like it's 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.080 like a beach. It's like the ultimate beach party at night. 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:30.760 It's actually like unbelievable. Like when I'm there, I realize 0:16:30.760 --> 0:16:35.840 how special that place is because it's it's like the community, 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.360 the locals are there. There's beautiful black people, there's beautiful men. 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:41.480 Because Porto Billoo be coming up like every now, like 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:42.200 every now, and they'd. 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:43.880 Be like what if I that, like, you know, all 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:45.440 five hundred people, but then you see a new a 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:45.880 new face. 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:50.440 I'm like, oh kind of, but like it's literally like 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.960 we were just towerking and shit on the beach under 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.400 the moonlight with our feet in the fucking water. The 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:58.200 music was bombed. It was afrobeats night. It was warm, 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.880 it was warm, and it's just like all the women 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:02.000 just like turning up. 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:02.360 It was. 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:04.400 It was so amazing, and the women that were there 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.560 were like I can't believe this, Like this is every 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:09.040 time people go there, like I could live here. 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:13.560 I'm like, I know, right, everybody got tattoos as a memorabilia, 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:18.040 like permanent tattoos. It was just it's it's beautiful and 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.440 like even for me, it just reminded me like, bitch, 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.199 you have shit to work on, you know, like you 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.240 have shit to heal. Like things came up for me that, 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.320 you know when you're facilitating and you're like, you don't 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:30.920 think that you can get got, but there's always more work. 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:34.439 We be grying, we be in the workshops crying like 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:40.080 this is hysterically. I feel like, you know, a much 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.640 of like what we do is selfish in ways, it's 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:46.040 because we need it and like it's like, hey, you 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:48.200 want to do this with us, And I think that's 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:50.520 kind of what the retreat is for us as well. 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:52.520 It's like we are not We don't claim to be healed. 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:54.280 I've never claimed to be healed. That's kind of the 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:56.560 whole vibe of good Mom's bad choices. We make fucking 0:17:56.600 --> 0:17:58.880 bad choices sometimes and we're trying to figure them out. 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:01.760 And when you go into these spaces like this, you 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.280 can't help but submit, whether you're leading the retreat or not, 0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:07.600 you know, And and that's why I feel like it's 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:11.320 even having different guests come and host workshops, like I 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.560 have my own. I'm able to like be in community 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:17.760 with the girls too, and like work on my own shit. 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:20.280 And that's the beauty of it is, Like the work 0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:22.639 that we're doing is helping heal other women, but in 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:27.200 turn also helping heal ourselves. And that's why I'll never stop. 0:18:27.240 --> 0:18:29.000 Now I'm addicted. I'm gonna be a retreat. I'm gonna 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:31.040 do retreats for the rest of my life, honestly, gonna 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:32.359 be a old bitch leading retreats. 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:34.199 Yeah, absolutely, I know. I was thinking that, I'm like, 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:36.840 is this gonna be appealing me being like bud ass naked, 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:38.320 but I'm eighty And then I was like, it doesn't matter. 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:39.840 We're gonna be leading the old bitches. 0:18:40.640 --> 0:18:43.360 Yeah, Grandma's. 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:47.040 And you guys, we are doing another retreat. So if 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:48.919 this sounds appealing to you and you didn't get to 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:52.399 make it this last time, we just announced our next 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:56.160 our fifth retreat, our fifth and sixth retreat in Costa Rica. 0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:58.000 It's gonna be in February. 0:18:57.560 --> 0:19:03.000 February second to February seventh, and February eleventh to the sixteenth. 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:05.760 Yeah, So make sure you check out the link in 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.440 this episode description if you're interested in coming to the jungle, 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:13.040 which you should be honestly like, don't hesitate, do not hesitate. 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:16.560 It is amazing. You can watch our video a recap 0:19:16.640 --> 0:19:18.959 video of the retreat on our website, so you can 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:21.000 get a taste of kind of what the vibe is 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:26.399 and the energy. But basically it's pure bliss essentially, No. 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:31.760 It truly is pure bliss. And it's just like pure bliss, 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:35.159 and like free downloads, like you get to really be 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:37.880 clear and like things really get to come up if 0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:41.000 you give them permission and they've becoming up, girl, they'd 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:43.639