WEBVTT - Dumb Luck Relationships with Dustin Nickerson 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:11.680 So I'm getting a dog in a week. You had 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:16.480 to be close, right, So I'm I'm getting a dog 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:22.760 in a week. Um. I'm so excited because I feel 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:24.919 like I'm like ready now to have a dog. That 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:28.280 makes sense. Yeah, I think you're ready. I mean, you're 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:30.639 great with dogs. I love dogs. I've had dogs my 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:35.040 entire life. I mean I I had Sandy when I 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:38.760 was Jolie's age. No, I was Cocoa was Jolie's age, 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:43.159 and then now and then I had you know, my dogs. 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:45.559 I had both dogs like Sophie Dog Like, shoot, my 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:53.440 my band guys are paid from Sophie Dog Like yeah, 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:57.680 so um so I um yeah, no, I'm just like 0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.920 I'm really excited because it was hard in the very 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:04.200 beginning too. I didn't want to separate the dogs. It's 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:08.040 like Waffles was my dog, Chance was Mike's dog, and 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:11.399 for me, I was kind of like, all right, I 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:13.920 have seventy kids, and he's like, well, we can just 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:15.959 like trade off the dogs. And then I'm like I 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:19.120 don't want seventy kids and seventy dogs like I And 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:20.959 that was like when I couldn't like take care of myself. 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:23.480 And like the first month of like the divorce, so 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:25.600 I was like, that's the last thing. Like we tried 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:26.920 it for a week and I'm like I can't do it, 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:29.200 like you have to take because like the dogs. And 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.080 then I'm like falling apart. The kids are falling, you know, 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:32.960 and I'm like, I just the dogs. I don't even 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:34.600 know if I've fed them for a week, you know 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:35.880 what I mean, Like I mean I did, but you 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:37.759 know what I'm saying, like they probably didn't have water 0:01:37.840 --> 0:01:41.679 like one full day because I just couldn't even think 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:44.960 about them. Dogs just add as much as we love them, 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:48.840 they just add another element that just makes your life 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:51.440 a little bit difficult. As much as I love them, 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:53.920 I have three, So don't come at me. Wait, what 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:56.800 are you doing with your divorce and the dogs? Well, 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:02.040 in theory, mostly the older bulldog is going to go 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:05.040 back and forth because he is attached to Emmy and 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:07.080 Emmy is attached to him. I don't know how that's 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:11.600 gonna it's just the other two. I don't know how that. 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:15.960 Oh you're keeping the other one, Macy, Yeah, I mean 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.480 she's so old, poor thing, like she can't go that 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:20.880 surprises me. Well, I don't really have it. I mean, 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:24.480 we all have choices, Kathe, Well, the reason I don't 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:26.760 really have a choice is because he's renting and they 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.520 didn't really want dogs anyway, and she sheds really bad, 0:02:29.639 --> 0:02:32.480 so that would not be very good. But she's easy. 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.120 But speaking of this totally makes me think of something. 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:39.400 So a couple of weeks ago, we got another leopard, 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:42.959 Get go. Oh my god. Okay, so we have a leopard, 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:47.080 Get go, Get go. Skippy love we love Skippy, least 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:52.440 maintenance pet of all time. Yeah, they're so easy. But 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:58.800 the agreement was that Skippy would I don't know kids 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:02.720 who knows, I honestly don't know, um, but that Skippy 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:07.000 would go with Nick okay, because he will only eat cricket. 0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.600 Worms are easy. Crickets I don't really do. Okay, it's 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:15.040 a long story short. Worms you'll do crickets you want. Yeah, 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.200 worms are easy because they're like, you keep them cold 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:19.520 so they barely to move until they get in there, 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:21.840 so it's like, you know, it's like a dead worm. 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:25.240 Crickets are like all over the place if you like, 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:29.200 we'll find them on Caden's wall. But anyway, so that 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:31.480 was the agreement. He's like, yeah, that's great. He loves Skippy, 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.360 he's easy. Whatever, that's fine. Skippy can come here. Fast 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:36.280 forward like a week and we're like, all right, well 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:39.120 we're going to get another leopard get go for my house. Okay, 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:42.440 so because you just love Skippy so much, or because 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:44.720 the kids love Skippy so much, or like both kind 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:48.560 of both. And they're easy. Again, they're not expensive, they're easy. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.680 Where where does find a get go? Well, we just 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:53.600 go to pet smart. You can find them all over 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:55.400 the place, but they're like thirty bucks at pet Smart. 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:59.160 We save them from pet Smart. So anyway you save them. 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:01.720 I don't think anyone's gonna go after you like I am, 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:03.800 like if anyone thinks they're gonna come after me, like 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:06.000 I'm breeding, like I'm going to a breeder, Like I 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:10.520 don't think there's I don't think there's rescue geckos. Well 0:04:10.800 --> 0:04:14.720 this is what makes emmy feel better, situation my, you know. 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:20.479 So any who, fast forward we go and get another one. Okay, 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:24.640 Skippy hasn't really hasn't hadn't left yet, but it's fine 0:04:24.680 --> 0:04:28.440 because they're easy. Is the new gecko's name, jis no 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:32.839 his friends naming his j that's because of it. No, 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:37.919 heyn miss sun chime you but listen to this. So 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:41.160 I posted on Instagram. I know he's listening to this, 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:49.080 but sorry Nick, oh he listens you think? Yeah? Still? Yeah? Hello? 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.720 So I post on Instagram, which we already kind of 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:53.040 told him we're gonna do it, and he was like, oh, 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:57.600 that's a bad idea, but whatever decision because I don't know. 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:03.159 So Catherine is wired up right now. He texts Cayden 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:06.279 and he's like, what did y'all do? Basically? And he 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:09.040 was like, I wish y'all would have ran a run 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:13.479 it past me? But okay, I was like run what 0:05:13.560 --> 0:05:17.320 past you? Getting sunshine? Yeah? Why first? Like big? Like 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:21.560 not doing so well the moment. Caden's like, don't text 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:23.120 him because I don't want him to get mad at me. 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:25.960 I was like, no, definitely won't. Why would you say 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:28.599 something like no? No? I want like, like, can you 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:30.280 can tell me what they said about me? I want 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.000 to texting me like how the why would you say 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:36.560 that about me? Like not something that has to be 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:38.680 run by you. He's like, well, you leave town all 0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:42.279 the time, and I'm like, and you have like eight pets, 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:46.280 and I'm like, um, it's still the same amount you're taking, Skippy, 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:49.200 I have sunshine, Like I have to get a house 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:52.360 sitter anyway, you know. Anyway, I just lost my mind. 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:55.680 And then it moved into like, you know, all the 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:59.160 figuring out money, and it went just great. Wow. I'm 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:04.320 first of all, I'm shocked for sharing this a little no, no, no, 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:06.680 it's like it's a it's a it's interesting that because 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:10.680 it's about control, right, which I didn't think he was 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:13.080 really like a control person, but he lost control, right, 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:15.320 And so when someone loses control in a divorce, you 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:18.360 see where they are like kind of going to put 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:22.200 their hands in because you're right, you didn't, you do not. 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.120 And I did not have to tell Mike that I 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:27.800 was getting a dog. I did just because like, hey, 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:29.520 if the kids mentioned Leo like I'm going to get 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:31.400 a puppy, and he's like, oh my god, that's so awesome, 0:06:31.520 --> 0:06:35.400 like so happy for you. Um so like, but I 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.400 don't need his permission. You do not need Knick's permission 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.960 to get running it by get go nor a pig, 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.360 a dog or a donkey. Do you know what I 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:51.039 wanted to do after that? What literally like a monkey, 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:55.280 Like you know what, take that monkey and any shove 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:59.200 it up your ass. I'm gonna believe it. That is. 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:03.000 I just want to know someone's reasoning, like why, Like 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:06.839 I I couldn't imagine calling my ax and saying like 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:09.560 you can't, how dare you get goldfish? Because that to me, 0:07:10.040 --> 0:07:11.960 even like a cat, Like I thought for sure Mike 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:13.680 was going to get a cat because I can't have 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:16.200 cats because my whole entire family is allergic to them, 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:18.360 and like my my mom's husband could never come, so 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:20.080 we were going to get a cat. We ended not 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:21.840 getting cats. I'm like, oh, I bet you, Mike's probably 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:23.680 gonna get them like a kitten or something. And because 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.640 Joey has been like begging and like a little part 0:07:26.680 --> 0:07:30.320 of me was like a little jealous thinking about it. Um, 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:34.280 but I can't control it. I don't think it's his jealousy. 0:07:34.440 --> 0:07:36.240 Then what is that? What is it? Then? Like what 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:40.240 is the what is the like rational rationalization behind his 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:46.960 issue with it? I think let's call him. I would 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:49.200 love to know. I think he still sees it more 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:53.600 like not as separate is it gonna be? And so 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.240 he still kind of sees it as like a family 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.239 in a way. And that's why I'm kind of like marrying. 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:01.440 We gotta get this legal process going, like I needed 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:05.120 to be separated at no offense. It's just like that's 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:08.200 not how I function. He's being a sweet man by 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:09.800 being like, you know, he thinks it's gonna fall on 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:11.560 him end of the day. He thinks I'm gonna call 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.040 him and say, hey, can you take a responsibility more? No, 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:15.760 that's what they have to pay for them. You can 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:18.520 ask like I would. I would never ask Mike too, 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:20.520 but I'm like, if I got into a hunch, you 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:23.560 can always ask, and they have a right to say no. Yeah, exactly. 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:25.360 And I just got a sitter a couple of weeks 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:28.240 ago when we're in Chicago, like I have somebody that 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.440 does it again. It's going to be the same amount 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:32.920 of pets. But when I get the monkey, I'm going 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:36.760 to be calling him. Oh my gosh, that's just so funny. 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.320 But I think that's why I said to you the 0:08:39.360 --> 0:08:43.280 other day, like, you guys have been amazing through this 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:45.760 divorce process. Like you guys have been so good and 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:48.800 letting things and co parenting. Everything's been great. Like actually, 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:51.760 how it's been the last. However, many guys have been 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:55.400 You've been doing this for a long time, but it's 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:58.640 almost like you sometimes have to do like the legality 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.880 of like this is out, this is actually what it is. 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:04.400 It's separate because it's like almost like the two kosher 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:08.880 feels the same, because it does feel the same in 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.200 a sense. We're hitting that point. We're definitely hitting that point. 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:14.640 We kind of had a you know, we're working on 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:16.480 the legal stuff. It's not going to great as a 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:18.800 lot it would, but we'll get there. But that's because 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:21.120 the emotions are still there and you're still and because 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:26.160 it's run so smooth. It's like, unfortunately there's illegal. There's 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:30.560 a legal um portion for a reason because the law 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:34.679 is going to protect both of you, just like the law, 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:37.000 yeah there, it's going to protect both of you, guys. 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:44.680 So sometimes it's doesn't. But yes, and I am learning 0:09:44.800 --> 0:09:49.880 that how I say things is definitely triggers and I'm trying. 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:53.200 I've been so good, but I made the mistake of 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:58.440 saying what I'm owed as like being in a marriage 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:01.199 for fifteen years, and that did not go over well. 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:03.640 But what I meant was, when you calculate, it's based 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:05.480 on how long you're married, looking at mirror right there, 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:07.280 you're looking at the frame, and tell him what do 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.640 you want to say? I hope he doesn't listen to 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.679 this one, but anyway, maybe you can say that all 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:16.000 my time. If if you're so, alimony is based on 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:17.920 how long you're married, you're going to get a little 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:20.040 bit more or for a longer length of time, the 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:24.280 longer you're married. Um, so that's what I was trying 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:26.360 to say, because he doesn't understand it. So what I 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:28.760 was trying to say is, you know, like what I'm 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:31.800 based on the amount of time we were married. But 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:34.960 it came back with what you're owed from being married, 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.560 and I was like, who I mean, I get it, 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:39.360 I understand And I was like, that's not how I 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.000 meant it. I'm just trying to explain it to you. 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:42.800 But that just where it went out for a minute. 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:44.760 I could see that, I mean, I get both sides 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:50.480 for sure. And let me just say this too. You 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:52.520 don't have to like I always say, like, well, I 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:55.120 have to be nice, and my amy our therapist always like, 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.600 you don't have to. You don't have to manage his 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.200 emotions about how you say you shouldn't be mean and like, 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:03.440 but like, you don't have to. You don't have to 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.720 skirt around issue. You can be directions. I remember the 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:10.160 one time in the very beginning of our divorce. Again 0:11:10.200 --> 0:11:14.120 we're great now in this season and stuff, but the 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:17.800 it was, you know, very fresh after our divorce. It 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:21.959 was the parent teacher conferences or like the like kindergarten 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:24.679 registration or whatever where you go and see the classrooms 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:28.000 and stuff. And I said hello, but I was like hi, 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:31.560 you know, and it was very just whatever. And he 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:33.600 was just like, why are you so cold? When we left, 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:36.040 and I was like, and I went to Amy and 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:37.480 I talked about that, and she was just like, you 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:40.400 get to be however you want to be, like, don't 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:42.079 make him feel bad. I was like, I wasn't be mean. 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:44.240 I just like I don't need to be like, hey, 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:46.320 my like in that moment, and I don't want like 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:49.200 I didn't want to. She's like, and you don't have to, like, 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:52.319 you can be however you want to be. But then 0:11:52.360 --> 0:11:54.040 I'm like, well, now he's gonna think I'm like a 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:56.120 bitch or this, that and the other, and I'm like, 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.800 I just it was hard being there. She's going to 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.839 kindergarten were divorce. Now this is this feels weird. It 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.560 was our first like function as like a divorce family. 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:08.400 I'm sorry that I didn't, you know, wrap my arms 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:11.040 around you and say like, hey, this is a great 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:14.080 our daughter's one kindergarten and worked up force, you know, 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:16.280 and he was just like, get over it. We're divorced. 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:18.440 And I'm like, it's been two months, Like give me 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:20.679 a second, you know, And I just remember, like I 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.640 feel like sometimes guys to like they want to like 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:27.560 rush your process, and it's like it takes time to 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:30.280 like walk through emotions and like now I see like 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:31.640 the other side of it, and you guys will go 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:33.679 through that same thing. Like it's it's probably nice. Now 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:35.560 you're going to hit a bump and then you'll you'll 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:37.920 find your groove where Mike and I find found outs. 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:42.160 But yeah, it's definitely like and again you can say 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.080 even though you can say it right, it's okay you 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.360 said it how and if you think it was wrong, 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.000 then say, hey, I'm sorry. Like the other day, I 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.040 I was really flustered with Joel because she was sick, 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.800 and I texted Mike saying or I called them and 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:56.200 I was like, hey, I really need your help. He couldn't. 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:58.439 I'm like, oh, never mind, Like I knew I shouldn't 0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.079 have asked, and then I'll like, oh, crap, I shouldn't 0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:02.439 have said it like that. So I called back. I 0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:04.000 was like, hey, I'm sorry. I was just really frustrated 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.000 and I just feel like overwhelmed right now with some stuff, 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.960 and so it would have been nice, you know, for 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.600 the help, but I get it, like, you know, you're 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:14.800 busy too, so if you feel like there's something you 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:18.640 should apologize and apologize, yeah, I mean I think yeah. 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.760 I mean we're just not getting into that. We've been 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:24.400 like getting along really well and now I'm like, okay, um, 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:25.960 and it'll be fine, like you said, it'll be ups 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:28.840 and downs, but like you know, it's also been interesting 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.000 because it's like I totally hijacked this conversation, but I 0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:35.520 love this, So you're kidding me. This is like not 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:39.160 but it's like, you know, I can remember, you know, 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.200 you a year ago going out of town and then 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.520 coming back home and then being down and you know 0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:46.360 all that, and it's like I kind of had that 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:50.559 first like experience after Chicago, and I've had the kids, 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:53.840 so it wasn't necessarily around that as much. I don't know, 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.600 but like it's like weird. It's like a weird it's 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:59.240 like a depressing kind of feeling. Again, I know I 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:01.600 asked for this, I know, you know all of those things, 0:14:01.600 --> 0:14:03.120 but yeah, it's like kind of hitting me and I'm like, 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:05.600 oh god, I'm starting to understand Jannah a little more. 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.000 It's weird. Yeah, it's like, yeah, even if you have 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:09.679 the kids or you don't, but i mean, yeah, when 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:11.480 you come back to from a trip and it's like 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:14.440 you're you know, when we do our wind down tours, 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:16.680 like we're on the highest of highs. We laugh constantly, 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:19.040 we have so much fun, and then you come home 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:22.120 and it's like to an empty house that feels very 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:24.080 strange because you're like, where's my family? And then like 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:26.000 the other time, it's like with your kids kind of 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.680 like where is my family? Because it doesn't feel how 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.080 we are used to it. So yeah, I mean I definitely. 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:34.880 I not that I'm glad that you understand that, but 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.320 then you understand now kind of like the steps and 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:41.440 you're gonna be okay. It's just but I'm still I 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.840 still struggle with that even you know, a year out 0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:48.440 of my divorce. Yeah, for sure. Well, and I've always 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:51.480 been one to kind of like, at first my emotions 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.360 don't hit. It takes a little while, so I'm definitely 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:56.720 I mean with deaths, with anything like, at first, I'm 0:14:56.720 --> 0:14:59.080 going to seem cold and numb to it. But give 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:02.160 me a couple of weeks, they'll be fall in a bedroom. 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:06.840 It's fine, I'm there now. Good. Have you had any regrets? No? Okay, 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:08.600 well that's good. No, I haven't to check in with 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.360 yourself around that. No, I'm good there. It's just like 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:16.960 the overwhelming and change and all that. Okay, okay, hey, 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:20.000 way back to the dog. No, are you kidding me? 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:22.760 This is I'm there's there's nothing else to say. I'm 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:26.800 just I love how this combo went, and I'm proud 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.280 of you for I'm proud of both of you guys 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.800 for you know, taking a step back when you when 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:33.040 you need to step back, when you know that the 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:39.200 motions are getting high, and you know, um, I'm yeah. 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:41.920 I'm just happy that you're also putting a boundary in 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:44.760 there too, because I think that's where I failed a 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:48.000 year ago, as I didn't put good boundaries around communication. 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:50.680 And you guys pushed really hard for me to be like, 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.320 don't communicate if it's an X, Y and Z, and 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:55.480 it's like I just had a really tough time with that, 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:58.040 and you're having great boundaries because I would probably be 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:03.120 apologizing for getting a donkey. I supposed to be like no, 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:08.240 no, no no, no, no no, So my farm exactly. Yep, sorry, Nick, 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.240 We're about to get a farm with horses and I 0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:12.920 can't wait for you to take care of it. Um. 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:15.000 But anyways, we're gonna take a break and we've got 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:17.760 an amazing comedian on. He actually has a book. Um 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:21.120 it's called How to Be Married to Melissa, which is 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:24.240 Melissa is his wife. So, um, you can't wait to 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:41.000 get a dot combo and chat soon. Hello, Justin, I'm 0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:46.160 so sorry, don't be very Oh well, I know, but 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:48.400 still are you? I mean you've been married to Melissa 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:52.240 for how many years? Now? So so many? Almost eighteen 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:56.720 something like that? Eighteen years? What? What? What great did 0:16:56.720 --> 0:17:01.600 you meet her in? I was, Um, I was a 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:05.280 junior and she was a senior at a different school, 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:09.720 which is a pretty big flex in high school relationship. Okay, 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.760 so you just called your wife out for being older. 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:16.400 I get it, which, you know, I don't even think 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:19.320 that's frowned upon anymore. I think anymore, that's that's to 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:23.719 be celebrated. You know. I feel like though it's one 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:26.280 of those things where I mean, I look at now, 0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:28.439 it's like my last few have been younger, and I'm like, 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.040 I just need I don't know, Like it's what whether 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:33.399 you go older or younger, guys are just always around 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:37.800 the same age, right, I mean, you went full Matthew 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:42.560 McConaughey there on me. Oh we did. I would Matthew say, 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:45.560 that's the old line to from What's I can't believe 0:17:45.600 --> 0:17:47.600 forgot the movie That was his kind of quotes his 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:50.720 first big role. You know. The great thing about it's 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:53.719 it's in hindsight, it's a very creepy quote. You know. 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:56.040 The best thing about high school girls is no matter 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:59.040 how old I get, they all stayed the same age. 0:17:59.480 --> 0:18:04.480 You know, which A get is not an outline that's aged. Well, uh, 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.240 but it did feel You're like guys they all feel 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:09.520 like they're the same age constantly. And I get it. 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:13.240 I understand what you mean. Well, actually we just got 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:16.760 It's dazed and confused is what it was. Of course. Yeah, 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:18.280 I don't think I've ever is that bad that I 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:22.360 don't even think I've seen the entirety of days and Confused? No, 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:25.680 I think you're okay. I think that that. Uh. That's 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:29.400 one of those things that you're like, uh uh. It's 0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.719 like when someone like sometimes like I'll tell friends like like, 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:35.240 you know, I don't I don't smoke pot and they'll 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:37.960 be like, really, if you ever like you want to? 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:41.160 When I was like, I mean why now, why would 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:43.639 now be the same with Dazed and Confused? Like this, 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.280 this is this the time that you need to stop 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:48.800 everything you're doing and like, hude, I gotta I gotta 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:55.640 prioritize watching Dazed and Confused. Okay, so you have your 0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:58.160 book out now, and I'm I'm curiously did you feel 0:18:58.200 --> 0:19:01.399 like you had to just because you are edian? Was 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:03.719 it hard for you to kind of find the balance 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:08.080 between like, okay, being real and not I mean, not 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:10.000 that you're not real as a comedian, but like where 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:12.240 you had to I feel like you had to be 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:14.119 funny in your book, even though it was it was 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:15.880 the goal of the book just to be funny and 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:17.920 just kind of like talk about marriage in that sense, 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:19.680 like from from your stand up show to the book, 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:21.119 or was there something else that you were wanting to 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:23.200 bring to the book that you want other people to 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:25.840 see a different side of you. Yeah. I think that's 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:29.480 a great question. I I the goal of the book 0:19:30.560 --> 0:19:36.760 was is to help relationships, but I do believe that 0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:40.440 the best way to do that personally. Really, the only 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.960 way that I can do it is to be funny, 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:46.439 is to try and make it relatable, to try and 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:49.600 make it approachable. You know, one of the big problems 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:54.440 with marriage books is they're primarily read by women who 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:58.320 are working actively trying to you know, stay invested in 0:19:58.320 --> 0:20:00.200 the marriage. So that was part of the goal of 0:20:00.320 --> 0:20:02.240 just like, well, what if we wrote one where they 0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:05.600 could say, like, hey, the guy wrote it, and it's 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:09.280 he's funny. It'll you know, it's it's essentially handing the 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:11.879 husband's a coloring book at times and saying like you 0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:15.879 can do this, right. So I think that humor is 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.320 relatable and it's uh, you know, if nothing else, I 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:22.120 think that I hope that people can look at this 0:20:22.160 --> 0:20:26.200 book and just see the wild dysfunction of our marriage 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:31.680 and if nothing else, feel better about their own relationship. Okay, 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.560 I'm you know, what, what do you think is like 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:39.760 the biggest no as an issue, but the dysfunction as 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:41.760 you say in your marriage that you that you have 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:46.000 a hard time as a husband. M M yeah, there's 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:50.240 um gosh, I wish I could. It's so hard to 0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:56.960