WEBVTT - "PANTS DOWN, HOSE OUT!" w/ Michelle Collins 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.000 Welcome to Will You Accept This Rose? A production of 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:08.360 I Heart Radio. Oh my god, I'm so horny this 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:13.840 fine Wednesday morning. I mean when I think hump day, 0:00:14.520 --> 0:00:19.200 first thing in the morning, man, I think, yeah, I 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:22.880 accept your Rose. I'm feeling really random. These are really 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:27.360 working out for me. Things are so good. I'm crazy busy. 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:29.720 I have a lot of projects happening. I can't talk 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:33.360 about it. I'm just crazy because I'm just blessed. I'm 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:40.600 just really blessed. I'm just blessed to stress. Hello, my bunnies, 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:43.080 Welcome to Will You Accept This Rose? My name is 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:45.520 Art and Marine, and I'm coming to you from the 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:49.360 fanciest studio. I have ever done this podcast, and it 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:52.319 is so exciting. I'm in midtown Manhattan at the at 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:55.720 the heart of my Heart Radio. There's posters of Miley 0:00:55.840 --> 0:00:59.200 Cyrus everywhere, which is just what I want to have happened. 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.760 I am so excited. Tanna is on her way. Her 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:05.000 Uber driver screwed her up. I don't know, but she's 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:09.000 coming this guest. I actually I came to New York 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.120 and I could have flown back last night, and I 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:15.280 actually stayed because I wanted to talk bachelor with one 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:17.840 of my favorite people with It's certainly one of my 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:22.560 favorite comedians. She makes me laugh so hard. I also 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:25.640 need to discuss an evening that I recently had with her. 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:29.679 She hosts a radio show on Serious X. I'm she's 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:31.880 a stand up comedian. You might know her from the view, 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:35.880 you know her from everything, Michelle Collins. It's art and 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:37.600 it's been a dream of mine to be in your podcast, 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.760 and I just I'm so happy to have you. Um 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:43.000 And I also worked at the Bachelor until I no 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:44.840 longer do it. Now I can talk whatever I want 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:46.720 to say, can I just I feel like I'm with 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:49.960 like a true expert, and it's you're the expert. I mean, 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:53.680 I didn't start until Caitlin season, so this is really 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.520 like I feel really excited to break it down with you. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:58.480 And I know I said last a couple of days 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:01.800 ago that Derek was going to be here. Allegedly, Derek 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.320 is the only Bachelor who actually has a job. That's 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.760 why he's the handsomest one though, because he works, doesn't 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:09.160 he And he looks he's like he looks just like Derek, 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:12.760 but he's like even hotter. He's really sweet. I'm not 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:14.720 gonna lie. I was like, oh, Derek's coming, I can't 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:16.440 look like today. I'm not kidding. I was like, I 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:18.160 gotta wake up earlier. You know what. I know he's 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.120 not here. I should have warned you because last night 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:24.639 when he canceled, I actually because I knew I wasn't 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:26.519 going to get much sleep last night. And I felt 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:29.120 really relieved that because I knew. I was thank you 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:31.480 for I'm so found out when I got here, and 0:02:31.520 --> 0:02:33.359 I mean, I'm in a full little bo peep costume, 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:35.880 I have a staff, you know what. I know, you 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:38.080 know what? And he does have a thing for shepherdesses, 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:41.320 and say so does America. And you know, we have 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:43.760 some listeners in Australia who are so randy right now 0:02:43.880 --> 0:02:48.400 just thinking about that shadow still round, still rotted. I'm 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:51.720 gonna cut the grass um that I watched about for Australia. 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:53.440 And then when you when you cut somebody, when you 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.520 when you pull somebody out, and like, can I steal 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:58.080 you for a second, they call it cutting the grass. Really, yeah, 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:00.959 it's very exciting. Cut the place. I want to say 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.959 before we get going, Michelle and I I'm going to 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:09.080 say a dream evening. Side note one of the nice 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:11.120 things about Derek not being here is I feel like 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:13.880 we can speak more freely because he's probably friends with 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:15.799 the people that are on the show. Our cycles will 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:19.120 certainly sink faster if he's not here, exactly, Finally, and 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:21.880 I would be like more like cash if he's not here. 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:25.760 If you were here, I'd be like Derek Mish, which 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:28.920 is a different miss No. I had cocktails with him 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:30.919 last week and he said that you guys were friends 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:33.920 and that you always text him when you're in his neighborhood. 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:37.440 That's not true. Okay, that water I think went well. 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:39.120 I know where he lives because I met him across 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:41.000 the street from his apartment. And the thing that I 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:44.160 remember about him, Hello, that's our producer, Anna, Hyanna, Yanna. 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:47.600 I remember that he has red velvet curtains. That made 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:50.840 me laugh because it was such a funny, like Burdella, 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:52.680 and that he was like maybe going to chang him, 0:03:52.720 --> 0:03:55.400 and I said, he, I actually love velvet soccer for valves, 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:58.840 tanks for the valves. Tom Hanks took seat to jacket. 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:02.400 I mean Brad Pitt, Mad Pitt. Oh my god. You 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.000 know what I also love about you, Michelle, because you're 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.640 at different times on the May and I I feel 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:09.000 like our comedy cycles are stinked because every time I'm 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:11.880 about to record something that makes me laugh and film 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:14.040 it to put on like an Instagram story, I see 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.320 like I get there and you've already recorded it, and 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:19.039 it's like the same things that make me laugh. I mean, 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:21.479 my obsession as soon as watching the Oscars and watching 0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:26.600 Keano and Diane Keaton with him going hello, Diane. I 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:31.760 love I love how weird he is. He's a good spirit. 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:33.719 I have two friends. I have two friends that were 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:35.160 in you know, they loved him. I have two friends 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:37.000 that are in Bill and Heads and they loved I mean, 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:38.800 I think he's everything you want Kana to be and 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:42.680 he's fantastic. He's like a surfer like, free spirit, mentality, 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:44.800 everything I will when I lived in l A. Though 0:04:45.000 --> 0:04:47.040 nothing frustrating me more, it actually made me hate live 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:49.120 tweeting because once the show aired in the East Coast, 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:54.320 it's a total um like spoiler blue balling, like just 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:56.960 kind of you don't feel excited anymore. I know I 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:58.800 should get into it, so that sucks for you, and 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:00.560 I'm one of the reasons I happy to move back 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:07.120 to New York is to beat you. Um greetings Anna. Hi. Okay, 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:09.080 before I want to also just get before we get 0:05:09.120 --> 0:05:10.640 going over about to get the bachelor thing. I just 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:13.919 need to say. Michelle invited me to be her date 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:17.600 to the Dolomite premiere before the holiday. Can I say 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.200 one funny thing? Yeah, I get invites here in New York, 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.919 never in only New York to like. Premieres are beautiful, 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:26.120 wonderful events, usually through cinema society. And I get this 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:28.280 Dolemite premiere and I think, oh, Arden's in town. I 0:05:28.360 --> 0:05:31.159 never see you. Let's go together. I got to remember 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:33.880 when I wore I looked like truly sharp into bed, 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.680 like I wore this turtle night dress. I don't know. Well, 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:40.160 the point is Arden, my date goes rent the runway. Yeah, 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:42.640 she's the size of a human doll, comes in lace, 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:44.840 cut outs, the ribs out, the whole ship, and I'm 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:48.400 there in a like you look great, obviously, but kind 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:51.640 of upstage. Let me just say the fact that that's 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:53.800 what you remember tells me that your brain is trying 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.040 to kill you because you were the belle of the ball. 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:57.920 Are you kidding me? And I just said it's true. 0:05:57.960 --> 0:05:59.279 A lot of people talk to me that I know. 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:01.480 I just don't. I'm saying, like your brain is, don't 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:05.480 meet you. Because Eddie Murphy. We both wanted to meet 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:07.599 Eddie Murphy. And again we're gonna get to the Bachelor. 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:11.080 I promise it's Eddie. We can wait. Eddie Murphy walks 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:12.840 up and we were talking to Keegan Michael Key because 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:14.760 I was on Mad TV with him. Give yourself credit 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:16.440 for this because if not for you, this would not 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:18.359 have happened to go on. So then Michelle and I 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:21.160 were Our whole goal was to meet Eddie. So we 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:24.479 positioned ourselves. We were near Keygan. Why yes, yes, because 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.800 Eddie Murphy is tied with Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:31.359 would say comedy idols, nobody's funny or nobody's smarter it. 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:34.159 So we were like, we have if I leave without 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:38.120 just seeing him. Eddie's like a shy, shy guy. He's 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.320 a billionaire and the most famous and he's been famous 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:43.279 SINTI his nineteen Eddie walks up and we're talking to Keegan, 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:45.760 and Keegan was like, oh Eddie, this is Ardi and 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:50.320 Michelle and Eddie walks up like grinning, like a lighthouse 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:53.680 beam drawn to Michelle Collins like and like even Keegan's 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:56.159 face was like clearly he'd done dullly me, like he'd 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:59.120 been around Eddie. I don't think he was like a 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.000 kid in a can and chep just like delighted just 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.720 walking up and as if he knew you you were 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:06.480 making me. I'm like, I feel like I'm blushing right 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:08.679 now and my lips are tucked into my guns because 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:10.160 this is my the love of my life, like I 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:14.040 and his beautiful wife was there before, were so amazing. 0:07:14.080 --> 0:07:16.880 And then also that got the other actor that Jean 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.960 Carlos busy though took my number and never texted Gus 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:21.840 Spring that's true you, but I feel like there was 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:24.880 like multiple guys. Know, I was like doing something that night. 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:27.240 I am a very good wing woman, so cut out 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:31.200 or no cut out, like like you know, I am 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:34.840 there to support and like I felt like magic was sprinkled. 0:07:34.960 --> 0:07:38.600 Well you any interaction. I looked back with delight and 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:40.840 regret because I what do you say to this guy? 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:44.720 It's like me and Queen Elizabeth, you go, you go, 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:46.640 you kept talking. You're like, oh my god, oh my god, 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:48.520 about a mother. Like he was tickled. He was just 0:07:48.640 --> 0:07:50.880 and he was. He was nice, he was drinking it 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:53.240 all in. And then you were like, You're like, oh 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:54.920 my god, this is your biggest night mare. You're just 0:07:54.920 --> 0:07:57.360 gonna say this tall white woman bothering you made me 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:00.520 laugh for days, which is true, but that this type. 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:04.760 But he loves a tall woman any kind. And I'm 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:10.160 telling you that if they're open at all. Okay speaking, 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:14.200 here's my question for you opening night of the Bachelor. 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:17.840 You're one of the bachelorettes. You're in the limo. What's 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:21.480 your opening outfit and theme getting out of the limit 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:24.680 and dress with anything full turtle nightgown. Um, it would 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:27.640 have to be just a turtle night up like jug 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:31.239 headstyle to the nasties and then and a little crown 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:34.640 and I'd walk over the brown. I like a turtle 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:36.840 like dress with a crown that actually would be shake. 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:38.240 I would have a real I would would say, I 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:40.640 would have a stupid mullet dress because I would panic 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:42.880 and I wouldn't know. I would want to. I would 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:44.319 have a pilo. I would like. I would be like, 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:45.760 I'm gonna wear a mini dress, but I want to 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:47.520 be formal so that I have like a long train 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:50.280 in the bag. It would be bad. Anna. How are 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:54.520 you okay great? I'm trying to think of what my 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.160 line would We'd have to be about my height, although 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:58.440 he was tall. They usually pick a tall bachelor, so 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:00.880 I think I wouldn't look freaking no no, I would 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:05.280 for your stunny, but you could. You could be like Victoria, 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:09.280 like Victoria f with her dry pussy joke that and 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.880 she's still around, and she has a weird personality, and 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:13.880 she looks like the queen ant from Ants with the Z. 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:15.960 I think that she looks like I think that she 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:18.440 looks like Jennius late if Jennius had a keen painting 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:22.040 down of her with the people the Big Someone else 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:24.360 tweeted at me that she looks like the woman from 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:26.960 the Dark Crystal. There's like a muppet, a real bug 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:31.240 lady from the Dark Crystal. She's very buggy. She's adorable. 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:35.280 I have to say now I've been defending her, like 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.319 as far as I've been trying to give her. No, 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:40.800 I'm not defending her and trying. At first I was. 0:09:40.840 --> 0:09:42.920 I felt like she gave a good first date at 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:46.800 the amusement park. But now I'm finding like and I've 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:48.880 been trying to go, Okay, maybe she's just very young 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:51.520 in her white lives matter thing like with the fish 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:53.319 and a vegan and like, maybe it's just a really 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.920 misguided young dumb dumb, but I'm starting to find her 0:09:57.000 --> 0:10:01.520 to be a real drip. She is a total Imagine 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.240 knowing someone where every time you talk to them, you're like, 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.959 are they going to cry? We're going They're going to 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:08.520 go stand against a wall and cry in a corner. 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:10.760 Do you know that? I? You know, I almost never cry. 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:12.800 I mean when I do, it's like it's called rock bottom, 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.119 Like I have to be at a breaking point, like exhausted, 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.240 it's just done. I have never cried on a date. 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:21.200 I never cried. Maybe that's why I'm alone. I maybe 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:24.679 I have never cried on a date. Never. I mean, 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:29.320 it's psycho not. I would rather move to Canada. Like 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:31.480 if I cried, and I would move to another barbers 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:33.200 And yeah, I would just move to another country. If 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:35.440 I cried in front of you on a date, you 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:38.480 would never see. I would be over, change my name, 0:10:38.679 --> 0:10:41.080 moved to a different national like, I just wouldn't be 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:44.480 I would be gone. My question to you is with Peter, 0:10:44.559 --> 0:10:48.040 who to me looks like um like a beautiful wharf 0:10:48.200 --> 0:10:50.920 seal in San Francisco. I feel like because he's very 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:54.360 hairless and he's like a good body, but it's not 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:56.120 too good, which I like. I say, he's like the 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:59.560 hottest improviser in class. That's so funny. And he's not 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:01.480 going to be Home Team. He's not. He's gonna be good. 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:04.320 He's hot enough that you will he'll keep getting past, 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.319 but he'll never get He's not the hottest pilot by 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:09.360 a long shot. So there are some hot I dated 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:12.000 a pilot ones, can I just say yes, hopefully doesn't 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:15.680 want I did a hugely except the dress fan huge. 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:18.440 I dated a pilot, Uh, you're when I lived in 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:20.840 Actually we met at the airport. He was the pilot 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:24.120 on my plane. It is one of the hottest stories 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:27.880 that has ever happened. When you admit what airline Virgin 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:33.480 with the hot Because they were the international waters they 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:36.439 could discriminate when they hired an only higher attractive people. 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:39.400 It was American. We were allowed to legally discriminate and 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.360 higher attractive people. This was Virgin America before they tanked. 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:44.800 But the point I love and he was very hot. 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.360 He was a former fatty with abs now, and what 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:49.559 he would do is show them everywhere, which I found embarrassing. 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.600 It's like, please, we're, you know, Britless circle, like you know, 0:11:52.800 --> 0:11:55.800 come on. But I will tell you he wasn't very smart, 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:57.959 and I'm just saying that's okay. I don't want to 0:11:57.960 --> 0:11:59.920 shun myself from the pilot community because I would ease. 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:02.319 He did another pilot, but it frightened me because I'm 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.600 like this, he was good with buttons, but you're not 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:09.520 great right conversationally? But hot? How long did you guys 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.560 make it? Well? He oh, make out, um a couple 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:15.800 of months. He didn't really gonna livedect Louisiana. So when 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.199 he was in town, thought we got to like the 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:19.880 hills to l a X. It was fun. Oh my god, 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:21.880 that's fine. I was like very slutty. It was really great. 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:23.840 Oh my god, I love that. I really I used 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.000 to be fun. Do you have does anywhere? If you 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.240 know that's why do you ever wore an exciting lingerie? 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:30.080 I have? I have a whole Why do you ask 0:12:30.080 --> 0:12:32.600 me that? Because most women, I feel like I need 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.679 more excited. I feel like I went to a lingerie 0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:37.120 party and I felt like I'm not enough of a woman. Well, 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:38.800 I would not wear it at a party because I 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:42.320 would go in a flannel. Do you have exciting stuff? 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:44.440 You know? Where about it? Because I've got big old 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:47.800 teas and a big old as. I mean, I'm a 0:12:47.840 --> 0:12:51.360 curvy girl. You know why? Because the thing for Laingrea 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:53.400 is this. It's not ever well made, even like Asian 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:56.599 Asian provocateur. It's lace, so you just needed It's like 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:58.640 a one and done. It's a question do you do 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.040 you wear? And I'm I'm literally asking this because I 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:02.960 feel like I'm not enough of a woman. Do you 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:06.160 wear like a teddy? Do you wear like a bra panty? 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:10.240 I love of matching brawn panty set big into that. 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.320 I love beautiful brass I have that. I don't have 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.400 any like nineties. I don't have anything like. I don't 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.640 do nineties because I don't really see the point. And 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:19.160 if I had a husband, maybe I would. The situations 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.400 I'm involved in the nights are superos um. I tell 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:24.800 you what I just got is this like two personal 0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:27.679 I love it. I just bought a velvet body suit, 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.080 but it's like an underwired, very sexy body suit from 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.800 Asos on sale that is so fucking killer that I 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.680 actually might wear it even like under something that gets 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.120 and it's sexy and it's really good. Nah do you wear? 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:45.120 Do you wear lingerie? Really? I don't like good. I 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:47.120 think it's fun. I think I feel like I need to. 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:49.240 I feel like maybe for Valentine's dandy, But I also 0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:51.440 wear spanks, like I wear shape or almost every single day. 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.559 I've even found shape where that's like lacy and not 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:57.440 Mrs Doubtfire because I look like Mrs Dot if I 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:01.480 have Baise shape wear on. The juggy kids are laughing 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.599 me across the street when he's putting the face on. 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.600 That's not good. That's not good. We don't do it either. Okay, 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:10.280 here we are. We're in La Peru and we had 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:12.960 to watch them walk run around and fake go whoa, 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:16.160 this is so fun. But alpacas, I mean they're so 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:18.920 I would love to go to Peru and the alpacas 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.520 are so cute and like the like the is that 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.600 where it is? I actually would love to go to Peru. 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:29.080 My friend went instead. It was fantastic. Um So then Kelly, 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:34.400 who I really loved, I feel like she either just 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.120 gave up the will to live or the producers got 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.880 to her like and like because I was actually rooting 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.280 for her to be charming enough to become the next bachelorette, 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:44.680 and this episode they got their hands on her and 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:47.240 she was like, Peter, take me to the alpacas, which 0:14:47.520 --> 0:14:49.560 is how I felt. But it was like, that's not 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:51.640 going to win you over. In the bat in the mansion, 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:54.360 she came through with a fleet week energy, almost like 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.000 a Samantha on Sex in the City, like, look, here's 0:14:57.000 --> 0:14:59.000 how it's gonna go. I'm gonna do this. First of all, 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:01.920 they would never make her the bat. No, she's too smart. 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:04.360 She's too smart. But even her look I had to 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:05.920 tell you, but and I say that they would never 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:09.120 make me either before people text me. Um, she didn't 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.160 have to look for it. She was I don't know. 0:15:11.200 --> 0:15:13.960 Her look did not do anything for me. And her 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:17.800 energy was so throwaway, which is actually fine. It's probably 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:19.520 how we would all be. I mean, you can't do 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:21.440 it on the show. I have to tell you, I've 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:24.520 never seen somebody try less. It was amazing good, it 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:28.280 was incredible. It was an incredible moment. So we see Peter. 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:32.120 He's in his hotel room. He's face timing his Mom, Hi, posh, 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:53.080 don't let her bring don't he Peter? Don't uncle? He 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:58.800 who Westminster? By the way your photos in the Westminster. 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:04.960 Let's not even. But Peter's mother love. It's the best. 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:08.080 It's the best mom energy of It's better. It's better 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.640 than JoJo's mom. She has a princess, she needs to 0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:14.200 be treated like a queen. And his brother's tongue kissing 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:16.160 her on the mouth and their cow next letters, I 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:19.360 will take Peter's mom, bring her home. Okay, she's so 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:21.280 ready for her close up. I love it. I love 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:23.920 Peter's mom. I'm there for it. And she's like, mom 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:26.400 is down to the final six. It's a two weights free. 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.200 They all have to say. My biggest fear is that 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:31.720 this person I'm gonna feed feeling it and a person's 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.760 gonna like me, but they're not gonna like me them. 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.480 And she's like, you have to be tooth for Peter. 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.160 You have to risk killing your truth. And then he's like, 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:42.560 I'm gonna go talk to the girls. So he goes 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:46.040 and he's like, little girls, my biggest fear is that 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:48.760 I want to be like do you want to be 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:51.080 with me? Do you see yourself having a family me 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.480 with you one day. It's like they've been on one 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.560 group like they're like, we just met, we went, we 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:58.320 will hung out like a food court at a mall. 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:03.200 And side note, the bomb that dropped Secret Virgin, Secret 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:06.760 Virgin is a twist I didn't see coming because excuse me, 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:08.920 you don't tell him. Isn't the whole thing that you 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.560 let him know? So that the windmill stops it's swinging 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:16.960 here and the door. I'm sorry, but that pissed me off. 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:19.760 But okay, go on my mind and my mind. That's 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:21.879 with the mom and my mind, and we've bobbed in 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:26.640 my mind. Secret Virgin. She knows that he okay, we'll 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.840 get there. Yeah, I'm sorry, No, no, I get it. 0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.520 I get it. So he picked her out and he goes, 0:17:31.680 --> 0:17:35.320 he takes Madison, and Madison goes, I am ready for marriage, 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.359 and all the girls start talking. Natasha's piss that she 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.040 didn't get another one on one, that Matty got a 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.520 second one on one and um, she's he was like, 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:46.160 this is kind of badass, and he's like, at first 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:48.200 we started off really hot, but then he slowed down. 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:49.920 It's like, yeah, because you got distracted by like a 0:17:50.040 --> 0:17:52.600 Leiah and Champagne Gate like it's slowed down because of you. 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:56.040 Bro Um, he's the most let me just say one 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:58.680 thing about him. Um. This is like really cathartic for 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:00.320 me because I've been watching the season and I have 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:04.320 no weird about this is perfect. He's the most wishy, washy, 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:08.240 nonsensical ghost in the night. He's like an Indonesian spirit, 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.960 Like does he even exist? I'm like, this guy comes in, 0:18:11.600 --> 0:18:14.200 there's no I mean, and this isn't about like gender 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:17.880 roles and about masculinity and feminine, but there's like no balls, 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:20.720 like come in, what do you want? Who are you even? 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:22.800 I don't know anything about this guy, But don't you 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:27.280 find that generally the bachelors are like that. I felt 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:29.120 like Colton was kind of like that. I didn't even 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:30.960 watch Cold. I couldn't deal with Colton. I had to 0:18:31.080 --> 0:18:34.679 check out. They hire nice guy people, pleasers who are 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:38.400 kind of politicians sort of. But even like Ari, who 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:40.080 I did not like but I did watch the seasons, 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:43.639 it was an unlikable guy. Peter's not unlikable. Peters very likable, 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.320 but it's just like, do you have a shred of personality? 0:18:46.400 --> 0:18:48.040 It's like I see this guy, and I know he 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.320 speaks Spanish. That's the one twist with him is that 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:55.080 it's like the whitest man alive bust out with the Spanish. 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.520 This is the biggest And I'm from Miami. I never 0:18:57.520 --> 0:19:02.080 sent Peter walking around. I've never seen anything man that 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:11.200 looks like Peter with his wings on buying. That is 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:13.280 the twist about him. That's like, oh, this is like 0:19:13.440 --> 0:19:16.480 he might be a demon. That is why they're bringing 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.440 him to every Spanish speaking country in the world, because 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.640 it's like it's That is the one panty dropper about 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:23.800 him is he is a pilot who's this little like 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:27.120 cherub turkey dude who can speak but then he can 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:30.240 throw down with Spanish. And quite honestly, his scar made 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:32.240 him a little more interesting that he can't stop talking about, 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:34.360